Today's episode shares a quick update about the future of No Empty Chairs: the podcast for moms whose kids don't come to church

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

The Dignity Index

Speaking of the Utah Pilot Project, University of Utah President Taylor Randall said, “The Dignity Index relies on one of the most ancient tools for social change in the history of human beings – conscience. When we see how often we use contempt and how harmful it is, we see we’re a part of the problem, and that makes us part of the solution.”

Donna Hicks, the author of the book Dignity: Its Essential Role in Resolving Conflict created the list of The 10 Elements of Dignity. 

• ACCEPTING DIGNITY
• INCLUSION
• SAFETY
• ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
• INDEPENDENCE
• RECOGNITION
• FAIRNESS
• BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT
• UNDERSTANDING
• ACCOUNTABILITY

This episode focuses on: 

UNDERSTANDING
"Believe that what others think matters. Give them the chance to explain and express their points of view. Actively listen in order to understand them."

ACCOUNTABILITY
"Take responsibility for your actions. If you have violated the dignity of another person, apologize. Make a commitment to change your hurtful behaviors."

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

 The Dignity Index

Speaking of the Utah Pilot Project, University of Utah President Taylor Randall said, “The Dignity Index relies on one of the most ancient tools for social change in the history of human beings – conscience. When we see how often we use contempt and how harmful it is, we see we’re a part of the problem, and that makes us part of the solution.”

Donna Hicks, the author of the book Dignity: Its Essential Role in Resolving Conflict created the list of The 10 Elements of Dignity. 

• ACCEPTING DIGNITY
• INCLUSION
• SAFETY
• ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
• INDEPENDENCE
• RECOGNITION
• FAIRNESS
• BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT
• UNDERSTANDING
• ACCOUNTABILITY

This episode focuses on: 

RECOGNITION
“Validate others for their talents, hard work, thoughtfulness, and help. Be generous with praise, and show appreciation and gratitude to others for their contributions and ideas."

FAIRNESS
“Treat people justly, with equality, and in an evenhanded way according to agreed-on laws and rules. People feel that you have honored their dignity when you treat them without discrimination or injustice.”

BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT
“Treat people as trustworthy. Start with the premise that others have good motives and are acting with integrity.”

David Ostler's book Bridges: Ministering to Those Who Question is a helpful resource.

Request to join the private Facebook group Bridges: Support for LDS Parents of Adult Children. Answering the membership questions is required to be admitted to the group.

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

 The Dignity Index

Speaking of the Utah Pilot Project, University of Utah President Taylor Randall said, “The Dignity Index relies on one of the most ancient tools for social change in the history of human beings – conscience. When we see how often we use contempt and how harmful it is, we see we’re a part of the problem, and that makes us part of the solution.”

Donna Hicks, the author of the book Dignity: Its Essential Role in Resolving Conflict created the list of The 10 Elements of Dignity. 

• ACCEPTING DIGNITY
• INCLUSION
• SAFETY
• ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
• INDEPENDENCE
• RECOGNITION
• FAIRNESS
• BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT
• UNDERSTANDING
• ACCOUNTABILITY

This episode focuses on: 

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT “Give people your full attention by listening, hearing, validating, and responding to their concerns, feelings, and experiences.”

INDEPENDENCE “Encourage people to act on their own behalf so that they feel in control of their lives and experience a sense of hope and possibility.”

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

Because it's never too late to hear encouragement for women and mothers, here's the talk Candice gave in her ward on Mother's Day.

Quotes included in the talk:

“I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10)

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

“Your worth isn’t tied to obedience. Your worth is constant; it never changes. It was given to you by God, and there’s nothing you or anyone else can do to change it. Obedience brings blessings; that is true. But worth isn’t one of them. Your worth is always “great in the sight of God,” no matter where your decisions have taken you. If you could hear the Savior praying for you, what do you think He would say? Listen for that voice that says good things about you—the voice of the Savior, your finest friend.” (Sister Tamara Runia)

“Our continuing role is to receive continuing revelation.” (Sister Joy Jones)

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:27)

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

This episode is an interview with Richard Ostler that originally appeared on Listen, Learn, and Love.

• Listen, Learn, and Love hosted by Richard Ostler - Episode 807
• Bridges–Support for Latter-day Saint Parents of Adult Children Facebook group
• I’ll Walk with You–A Support Group for Latter-day Saint Parents of LGBTQ+ Children Facebook group
• candiceclarkcoaching.com
• https://www.facebook.com/candiceclarkcoaching/
• No Empty Chairs podcast

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

 The Dignity Index

Speaking of the Utah Pilot Project, University of Utah President Taylor Randall said, “The Dignity Index relies on one of the most ancient tools for social change in the history of human beings – conscience. When we see how often we use contempt and how harmful it is, we see we’re a part of the problem, and that makes us part of the solution.”

Donna Hicks, the author of the book Dignity: Its Essential Role in Resolving Conflict created the list of The 10 Elements of Dignity. 

• ACCEPTING DIGNITY
• INCLUSION
• SAFETY
• ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
• INDEPENDENCE
• RECOGNITION
• FAIRNESS
• BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT
• UNDERSTANDING
• ACCOUNTABILITY

This episode focuses on: 

INCLUSION “Make others feel that they belong, whatever the relationship – whether they are in your family, community, organization, or nation.”

SAFETY “Put people at ease at two levels: physically, so they feel safe from bodily harm, and psychologically, so they feel safe from being humiliated. Help them to feel free to speak without fear of retribution.”

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

 The Dignity Index

Speaking of the Utah Pilot Project, University of Utah President Taylor Randall said, “The Dignity Index relies on one of the most ancient tools for social change in the history of human beings – conscience. When we see how often we use contempt and how harmful it is, we see we’re a part of the problem, and that makes us part of the solution.”

Donna Hicks, the author of the book Dignity: Its Essential Role in Resolving Conflict created the list of The 10 Elements of Dignity. 

• ACCEPTING DIGNITY
• INCLUSION
• SAFETY
• ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
• INDEPENDENCE
• RECOGNITION
• FAIRNESS
• BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT
• UNDERSTANDING
• ACCOUNTABILITY

This episode focuses on ACCEPTING DIGNITY. “Approach people as being neither inferior nor superior to you. Give others the freedom to express their authentic selves without fear of being negatively judged. Interact without prejudice or bias, accepting the ways in which race, religion, ethnicity, gender, class, age, and disability may be at the core of other people’s identities. Assume that others have integrity.”

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

Another experience of meditation from Thomas McConkie's podcast One Heart One Mind. "Episode 2: The Prayer of Quiet"

Father Thomas Keating said in his book Open Mind Open Heart, “My conviction is that if people are never exposed to some kind of non-conceptual prayer, it may never develop at all because of the overly intellectual bias of western culture and the anti-contemplative trend of Christian teaching in recent centuries.”

What happens if you take your foot off the gas?

What would it look like for you to introduce more quiet into your relationship with your child?

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife's Strengthening Your Relationship course

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

A few thoughts on Thomas McConkie's new podcast One Heart One Mind.

Moses 7:18 "And the Lord called his people Zion, because they were of one heart and one mind, and dwelt in righteousness; and there was no poor among them."

Thomas's book Atonement: Embodying the Fullness of Human Divinity

Howard Thurman quote from Disciplines of the Spirit:
“The experience of prayer can be nurtured and cultivated. It can create a climate in which a man’s life moves and functions. Indeed, it may become a way of living for the individual. Indeed, it is ever possible that the time may come when a man may carry such an atmosphere around with him and gives its quality to all that he does and communicates its spirit to all who cross his path. This is the most remarkable impact of the life of the Master on those He encountered. It was this that stilled the ragings of the madman, that called little children to Him, that made sinners know that their sins were forgiven. His whole countenance glowed with the glory of the Father. And the secret? A great while before day, he withdrew to a solitary place and prayed as was His custom.”

Mark 1:35 "And in the morning, rising up a great while before day, he went out, and departed into a solitary place, and there prayed."

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

Tina Gosney, the Family Conflict Coach, shares some of what she's learned as a relationship coach and as a mom of kids who don't come to church--kids with good hearts.

To learn more from Tina and her good heart, follow her podcast Coaching Your Family Relationships or visit her website to find out how you can work with her.

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

How do you handle a treasured family recipe when the intended recipient doesn't eat the title ingredient?

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

In this episode, Candice interviews Lisa Shumway, a mother of five and an active moderator in the Bridges Facebook group for LDS parents of adult children. Lisa shares her deeply personal journey of raising children who have stepped away from the LDS Church, the complexities of their individual paths, and her own evolving faith. She discusses the impact of her children's unique challenges, such as medical issues and autism, on her family dynamics, and how these experiences shifted her mindset away from a transactional view of faith. Lisa also reflects on her changing political views during the pandemic, particularly regarding LGBTQ issues, and how she reconciled those with her religious beliefs. The conversation delves into her nuanced relationship with the church community, including coping strategies for dealing with challenging church messages, and underscores the importance of self-acceptance and following Christ's teachings. The episode concludes with Lisa's spiritual confirmation of God's love for her children and her commitment to helping others in need.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:52 Lisa's Family Background
01:46 Challenges with Children's Faith
04:50 Navigating Family Dynamics
09:15 Health Struggles and Realizations
12:03 Shifting Perspectives on Faith
25:22 Political and Social Reevaluations
28:00 Current Church Experience
33:24 Spiritual Experiences and Conclusion

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

Episode 41 asserted that we are enough. What happens if someone says we are not enough?

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

My word for 2025 is “enough.” Here are some things that help me remember that I'm enough, and so are my kids. There is enough time, enough room, enough love for whatever comes my way. 

• Doctrine and Covenants 104:17, “there is enough and to spare”
• Doctrine and Covenants 104:15, “it is my purpose to provide for my saints.”
• Good Inside: Becoming the Parent You Want to Be by Dr. Becky Kennedy
• “Am I Enough” Love Like You by Emma Nissen 
• “When Paths Diverge - Parenting Through Faith Shifts” Coach Tina Gosney and Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife on Conversations with Dr. Jennifer podcast feed from January 1, 2025 
• Tina’s podcast Coaching Your Family Relationships

Remember, you are enough and you always have been.

Remember, there are no empty chairs.

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

Merry Christmas! I wish you love, peace, and joy in our Savior as we celebrate His birth.

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

What if faith is a belief or thought, hope is a feeling that comes from that thought, and charity is the actions that flow from a feeling of hope? What does that mean for you as the parent of a child who doesn't come to church?

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

What would happen if you believed things will work out? What if that's true, even if you can't see how right now?

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

This is terrible! Maybe, we'll see. This is amazing! Maybe, we'll see. In the face of uncertainty, we can decide what we want to believe about the future.

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

When you can't quite change that stubborn thought, you can always change your focus.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2024/10/24kearon?lang=eng

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

Candice talks about Savannah Guthrie's book Mostly What God Does. 

Spoiler Alert: Mostly what God does is love us.

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

Learn more about self-confrontation: https://www.finlayson-fife.com/podcasts/conversations-with-dr-jennifer/post/3-ways-become-better-partner

Matthew 7:3-5
3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy [child’s] eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
4 Or how wilt thou say to thy [child], Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy [child’s] eye.

https://www.facebook.com/finlaysonfife/posts/every-time-you-defend-yourself-or-minimize-some-way-in-which-youve-hurt-your-spo/818514040322931/

Some questions to ask yourself:

• What is my part in this?
• What is hard about dealing with me on this issue?
• What am I not seeing?

Learn more about over-responsibility: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/over-responsibility-the-spin/ (NOTE: Kara Lowentheil is a brilliant and insightful master coach who may have language practices that differ from yours, including in the name of her podcast.)

Elder Shayne Bowen: “A central part of our Father’s plan was that we would be free to choose. This gift is called agency, the power to choose. The companion of agency is always accountability. We are individually responsible for the choices we make.”

"No other success can compensate for failure in the home."

Some questions to ask yourself:

• What can I actually control here?
• Why do I sometimes act like I can control things that are out of my control?
• Do I want to keep doing that?
• Why don’t I want them to see it differently than I see it?
  
  

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

Candice talks with Susan Hinckley and Cynthia Winward as part of At Last She Said It's "Embracing Your Journey" series

Quotes from the episode
“A covenant is not a cage” -Candice
“People want to hear what I have to say” - Candice

"Your Divine Nature and Eternal Destiny" by Dale Renlund,  April 2022

At-One-Ment, by Thomas Wirthlin McConkie

“Big Voice—go ahead.” —Mrs. Frazzled (here)

“God is in relentless pursuit of you.” —Patrick Kearon

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

Candice shares a fitness lesson about letting go that may benefit your relationship, too.

The psoas release exercise she talks about is part of the Restore Your Core program created by Lauren Ohayon. You can find Lauren on Instagram.

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

Tiffany Porter talks about her experience as a parent of a transgender child and the impact that has had on her family and herself. She was able to move from feeling "bereft" and "cheated" to grateful and full of love.

The 3 practices are:
I’ll be unusually interested in others
I’ll stay in the room with difference and
I’ll stop comparing my best to your worst.

Doctrine & Covenants 123:17
"let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed."

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

Candice talks with Kurt Francom about his book Is God Disappointed in Me?: Removing Shame from a Gospel of Grace

Kurt Francom is the founder and executive director of Leading Saints and manages the day-to-day efforts of Leading Saints and is the host of the podcast. Kurt graduated from the University of Utah in 2008 with a degree in Business Marketing. He ran a web development company for 5 years before focusing on Leading Saints full-time. Kurt currently lives in American Fork, Utah with his lovely wife Alanna. They are blessed to have three children. Kurt has served as a full-time missionary (California Sacramento), as a bishop, 1st counselor in a stake presidency, and elders quorum president.

https://www.deseretbook.com/product/6070527.html

https://www.amazon.com/God-Disappointed-Me-Kurt-Francom/dp/B0CT67RS86

https://leadingsaints.org/new-to-leading-saints-start-here/

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

How do you define success as a parent? Is it about who you are and what you do, or does your sense of value depend on your kids?

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

Shiree Best of Just Love Them podcast interviews me.

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

In the middle of the continuum, away from shame and blame, we find kindness and accountability. The middle is where the truth lies. 

Quotes from Pr. Russell Nelson’s talk “Peacemakers Needed” 

“Building bridges of understanding will require much of you.”

“Contention drives away the Spirit, every time. Contention reinforces the false notion that confrontation is the way to resolve differences, but it never is. Contention is a choice. Peacemaking is a choice.”

“Charity is the antidote to contention. Charity is the spiritual gift that helps us cast off the natural man, who is selfish, defensive, prideful, and jealous. Charity is the principal characteristic of a true follower of Jesus Christ. Charity defines a peacemaker. . . One of the best ways we can honor the Savior is to become a peacemaker.”

Peacemakers don’t blame other people. Peacemakers don’t simmer in shame.

Dr. Becky Kennedy, an expert in child development, said,

"You are still a good person even when you struggle." 

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

Shame stories:

I should have known this about my child already.
I should have stood up for my child with ward leaders.
I should have taught my child better to respect ward leaders.
I should have confronted my child about their behavior or belief.
I should not have confronted my child about their behavior or belief.
I should have handled my child’s situation the way my neighbor handled theirs.
I should have listened better when my child told me about their changing faith.
I should have taught my child better so their faith would be stronger.

In one way or another, all of these stories boil down to the idea that “I am a bad mom. Things would be better if I had done it differently.”

Better stories:

“I’m so glad I know more about my child now. It helps me understand them better so I can be more supportive while they figure out how they want to live their life.”

“I wish I had been a better advocate for my child in the past. I can make a list of ways I can advocate for them now, and how I can be an influence for good for people in similar situations.”

“I choose to believe people mean well and are doing the best that they can. I am going to offer that grace to my leaders as I decide how best to interact with them. I am also going to offer that grace to my children.”

“My child gets to choose their beliefs.”

“I can decide when it’s appropriate to share my view.”

“Every situation is unique. I can learn from others and decide what’s best for my relationships.”

“I did the best I could at the time. When we know better, we do better. I am learning to listen better.”

“I taught my child as best I could. They were always meant to make their own choices.”

Can you hear how these stories have more compassion? They don’t ignore accountability. They also don’t ignore grace and growth. Learn how to tell yourself better stories.

Jesus loves me, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m trying to be like Jesus.

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

Chris Rich shares her journey to find joy and rejoicing in her family by choosing her own definition of success, even when her husband and children do not participate at church.

REFERENCES
Second Arrow
"Forget Me Not" Pr. Dieter Uchtdorf
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl
3 Nephi 17:23 "Behold your little ones."
"Am I a Good Mom?" Jody Moore
Byron Katie "When we argue with reality, we lose, but only 100% of the time.”
We Can Do Hard Things with Michelle Obama "Come home. We will always like you here."

QUESTIONS
What are you giving up on?
Are you giving up on the need to control?  
What do I really want?
What is my end desire?
What does it look like to invite people to Christ from love and joy, without dragging them?
What do I really want out of this relationship?
Is this going to help me?
Is this going to build a bridge or create a wall?
Do I want to judge them or do I want to love them?
What do I need to do to get to love?
How far are you from devastation right now?
What do I do here?
How do I show up as the person right now to have them want to be here with me today?
How has your children not coming to church helped you come closer to Jesus?

You can hear more from Chris on The Mixed-faith Relationship Podcast
Her website chrisrichcoaching.com
Facebook Chris Rich Coaching
Instagram chrisrichcoaching

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

New resource available on the website of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It’s found on the Topics and Questions page of the Church website. There’s a section called “Seeking Answers to Questions,” and then right under that there’s a section called “Helping Others with Questions.”

This episode takes a look at the section of "Helping Others with Questions" called “Assist Them throughout Their Journey.”

Ideas on being a safe source for discussion from Jeralee Renshaw, Episode 16 - Honor Their Journey

Helping Others with Questions series

1. Helping Others with Questions Introduction - Episode 19
2. Respond with Love - Episode 20
3. Listen with Humility - Episode 21
4. Trust in the Lord - Episode 22
5. Nourish Your Own Faith - Episode 23
6. Assist Them throughout Their Journey - Episode 24

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

New resource available on the website of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It’s found on the Topics and Questions page of the Church website. There’s a section called “Seeking Answers to Questions,” and then right under that there’s a section called “Helping Others with Questions.”

This episode takes a look at the section of "Helping Others with Questions" called “Nourish Your Own Faith.”

The Gospel Topics Essays on the Church website are a good place to start to learn more about issues that sometimes concern members as they learn about them.

We are in charge of our own boundaries, and it's healthiest for us to make sure we put our own oxygen mask in place before trying to help others.

Helping Others with Questions series

1. Helping Others with Questions Introduction - Episode 19
2. Respond with Love - Episode 20
3. Listen with Humility - Episode 21
4. Trust in the Lord - Episode 22
5. Nourish Your Own Faith - Episode 23
6. Assist Them throughout Their Journey - Episode 24

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

New resource available on the website of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It’s found on the Topics and Questions page of the Church website. There’s a section called “Seeking Answers to Questions,” and then right under that there’s a section called “Helping Others with Questions.”

This episode takes a look at the section of "Helping Others with Questions" called “Trust in the Lord.”

Elder Russell Ballard from a speech he gave at BYU:

“Question: If I have family or friends who are less active, how far do I go in my attempts to bring them back?

My answer is please do not preach to them! Your family members or friends already know the Church’s teachings. They don’t need another lecture! What they need—what we all need—is love and understanding, not judging. Share your positive experiences of living the gospel. The most powerful thing you can do is share your spiritual experiences with family and friends. Also, be genuinely interested in their lives, their successes, and their challenges. Always be warm, gentle, loving, and kind.”

Ensign Article: You Love, He Saves

Helping Others with Questions series

1. Helping Others with Questions Introduction - Episode 19
2. Respond with Love - Episode 20
3. Listen with Humility - Episode 21
4. Trust in the Lord - Episode 22
5. Nourish Your Own Faith - Episode 23
6. Assist Them throughout Their Journey - Episode 24

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

New resource available on the website of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It’s found on the Topics and Questions page of the Church website. There’s a section called “Seeking Answers to Questions,” and then right under that there’s a section called “Helping Others with Questions.”

This episode takes a look at the section of "Helping Others with Questions" called “Listen with Humility.”

When there are belief differences,  3 Practices  help us cultivate curiosity:

• I’ll be unusually interested in others.
• I’ll stay in the room with difference.
• I’ll stop comparing my best to your worst.

To learn more about things in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that some people find challenging, the Gospel Topics Essays on the Church website are a great place to start.

BONUS: a couple of tips for managing General Conference:

1. "I am not the target audience." Not every talk is for you, and that's okay.
2. Focus on what you DO believe as you listen and read the talks. Look for what's there that you want to keep.

BONUS: LDS therapist talks with someone in faith transition worried about telling her parents

Helping Others with Questions series

1. Helping Others with Questions Introduction - Episode 19
2. Respond with Love - Episode 20
3. Listen with Humility - Episode 21
4. Trust in the Lord - Episode 22
5. Nourish Your Own Faith - Episode 23
6. Assist Them throughout Their Journey - Episode 24

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

New resource available on the website of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It’s found on the Topics and Questions page of the Church website. There’s a section called “Seeking Answers to Questions,” and then right under that there’s a section called “Helping Others with Questions.”

This episode takes a look at the section of "Helping Others with Questions" called “Respond with Love.”

Question to consider: Am I speaking of my ideals in a way that marginalizes others?

Helping Others with Questions series

1. Helping Others with Questions Introduction - Episode 19
2. Respond with Love - Episode 20
3. Listen with Humility - Episode 21
4. Trust in the Lord - Episode 22
5. Nourish Your Own Faith - Episode 23
6. Assist Them throughout Their Journey - Episode 24

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

Episode 16 - Honor Their Journey: A Conversation with Jeralee Renshaw brought some new listeners. Welcome!

New resource available on the website of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It’s found on the Topics and Questions page of the Church website. There’s a section called “Seeking Answers to Questions,” and then right under that there’s a section called “Helping Others with Questions.”

You can hear the perspective of an adult child stepping away from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Episode 3: What’s Helpful – And What Isn’t. You may want to go back and give that a listen if you missed it.

Discussion of the Introduction to the “Helping Others with Questions” section of the Church website.

Helping Others with Questions series

1. Helping Others with Questions Introduction - Episode 19
2. Respond with Love - Episode 20
3. Listen with Humility - Episode 21
4. Trust in the Lord - Episode 22
5. Nourish Your Own Faith - Episode 23
6. Assist Them throughout Their Journey - Episode 24

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

Susan Siddoway shares how she stopped "using Satan's tactics to try and do the Lord's work" and put fear behind her.

RESOURCES
To join the Facebook group Bridges - Support for Latter-day Saint Parents of Adult Children, use this link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/BridgesLDSParents/
Please be sure to answer the membership questions to be admitted to the group.

Susan's daughter Brittany Bishoff is a life coach who helps tweens and teens
https://www.facebook.com/brittbishoffcoaching/?locale=hi_IN&paipv=0&eav=AfZHxkLqmVAxPASjrj7rePvAlYA1LL28ArRPCCFUSbdUpl_aRXl9uKxDPUrJZJCDzTE&_rdr

Susan told her daughter Holly's story to Richard Ostler on his podcast Listen, Learn, and Love Episode #660
https://soundcloud.com/user-818501778/episode-660-susan-siddoway-finding-hope-peace-in-my-daughters-journey?utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

Parable of the Prodigal Son (KJV)
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/nt/luke/15?lang=eng

Thomas McConkie talks about his book At One Ment on Faith Matters podcast
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vN5RVXJsqs

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
" For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

No Empty Chairs Episode 13 "Thinking Celestial"

RVVL with David Butler Season 2 Episode 1 "with God's eyes"
“Thinking Celestial is thinking and acting like God does. With his heart and eyes, with his love and mercy and compassion and wisdom, and to ask ourselves what is the best, true and the kindest thing to do in any situation.”

No Empty Chairs Episode 14 "What Feels Like Love?"

Isaiah 41:13 (NIV)
"For I am the Lord your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear. I will help you."

"How Firm a Foundation," Hymns #85
“Fear not. I am with you. O be not dismayed. For I am thy God and will still give thee aid. I'll strengthen thee, help thee and cause thee to stand, upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.” 

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

New resource on The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints website!

“Helping Others with Questions” is on a page called “Topics and Questions” 
There are several short essays dealing with different aspects of helping others when they don’t believe the same as we believe. 

References from this episode:

• 1 Nephi 
• 1 Nephi 19:23
• 2 Nephi 6:5
• 1 Nephi 3:7
• Nephi’s Courage

 
Questions from this episode:

• What can I learn if I try on a different role in Nephi’s story? 
• What if I’m not anyone in Lehi’s family? 
• What if my child who has stopped coming to church is the Nephi of their story, and I am the people of Israel in Jerusalem holding onto rules and traditions, some of which fuel the dwindling and perishing of my child? 
• How does that change what I think needs to happen next? 
• How does it feel to look for the ways that I have been the person standing in a large and spacious building in the attitude of mocking and pointing my fingers at people having a different experience than I am having? 

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

Jeralee Renshaw, co-founder of the Bridges Facebook group, shares some of the wisdom she's learned moving from fear to faith as 3 of her 4 adult children have stopped participating at church.

RESOURCES
To join the Facebook group Bridges - Support for Latter-day Saint Parents of Adult Children, use this link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/BridgesLDSParents/
Please be sure to answer the membership questions to be admitted to the group.

David B. Ostler's book Bridges: Ministering to Those Who Question, The 2022 edition has a new chapter on mixed-faith marriages and families.
https://www.amazon.com/Bridges-Ministering-Those-Who-Question-dp-1589587596/dp/1589587596/ref=dp_ob_title_bk

3 Practices that are helpful for dealing with difference:

• I'll be unusually interested in others
• I'll stay in the room with difference
• I'll stop comparing my best to your worst

To join a 3Practice Circle where you can practice these skills, go to https://3practices.com/
Or read about them in the book 3 Practices for Crossing the Difference Divide by Jim Henderson and Jim Hancock
https://www.amazon.com/3-Practices-Crossing-Difference-Divide/dp/1712206427/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2EMR7LOADWK1M&keywords=3+practices+for+crossing+the+difference+divide&qid=1705176352&s=books&sprefix=3+practices%2Cstripbooks%2C88&sr=1-1

QUOTES
“I want you to be sure that you understand how I feel about diversity. I love differences. They make us interesting and challenging and delightful. What they don't make us is good or bad, and I think we forget that sometimes. And whenever we do, then any difference, no matter how small, can become an object for judgment and condemnation.”
~ Chieko Okazaki

M. Russell Ballard speech at BYU on November 14, 2017:
https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/m-russell-ballard/questions-and-answers/
"Question: If I have family or friends who are less active, how far do I go in my attempts to bring them back?
My answer is please do not preach to them! Your family members or friends already know the Church’s teachings. They don’t need another lecture! What they need—what we all need—is love and understanding, not judging. Share your positive experiences of living the gospel. The most powerful thing you can do is share your spiritual experiences with family and friends. Also, be genuinely interested in their lives, their successes, and their challenges. Always be warm, gentle, loving, and kind."

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

What's your focus for the coming year?

I am bringing Delight and Gently along as I FEEL my way through 2024.

And more parent interviews are coming your way. Stay tuned!

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

What do statistics exams and scuba diving have in common? They are both opportunities to decide how we want to respond to people in trouble. 

What feels most like love to you?

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

A reflection on Pr. Russell Nelson's “Think Celestial!” talk at October 2023 General Conference

What are YOUR thoughts?

What are they creating for YOU?

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

A thought experiment on what life eternal could really mean.

“This is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39)

“And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.” John 17

“Wherefore, do the things which I have told you I have seen that your Lord and your Redeemer should do; for, for this cause have they been shown unto me, that ye might know the gate by which ye should enter. For the gate by which ye should enter is repentance and baptism by water; and then cometh a remission of your sins by fire and by the Holy Ghost.

“And then are ye in this strait and narrow path which leads to eternal life; yea, ye have entered in by the gate; ye have done according to the commandments of the Father and the Son; and ye have received the Holy Ghost, which witnesses of the Father and the Son, unto the fulfilling of the promise which he hath made, that if ye entered in by the way ye should receive” (2 Nephi 31:17–18).

Am I “relying wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty to save”? (2 Nephi 31:19)

“Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.” (2 Nephi 31:20)

2 Nephi 31:21: “And now, behold, my beloved brethren, this is the way; and there is none other way nor name given under heaven whereby man can be saved in the kingdom of God. And now, behold, this is the doctrine of Christ, and the only and true doctrine of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, which is one God, without end. Amen.”

Matthew 19:16, Mark 10:17, Luke 18:18

Luke 10:25

“And he [Jesus] said, The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.” (Luke 18:27)

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

Jenn talks about what she's learned about resting and strengthening from a shoulder injury, from parenting a daughter with scrupulosity, and from opening up to her sister's difficulty getting answers to prayer.

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

Candice's cousin Jared shares his perspective on the time when his son Isaac was not participating at church. 

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

Paying attention to our nervous system can help us return to a sense of safety, no matter what our children say or do. Take action from a place of calm and compassion, not fear and defensiveness.

Tips from Leah Davidson:
Step 1 - Am I safe? I am safe.
Step 2 - Do I feel safe? Maybe not.
Step 3 - Take a deep breath and focus on your body. Let go of any tension that you notice. Use rag doll pose or havening techniques. 

Consider that everyone's nervous system is different and people may be having challenging physiological reactions to experiences that don't bother us. We can hold space for that.

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

Shauna Andersen is an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Some of her 4 adult children don't participate at church. Shauna shares an experience that was healing in her relationship with her daughter and talks about how she's come to understand the big love our Heavenly Parents and Jesus have for each of us, whether or not we come to church.

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

The podcast is moving to biweekly in September.

From a sacrament meeting talk on Grace:

• "Am I doing enough?" is probably not a useful question.
• We are always saved by grace.
• We can't make ourselves more--or less--valuable by doing things.
• Christ is the ideal for encouragement and inspiration.
• Our progress is measured from where we are now back to where we started.
• "Always Measure Backward" - Dan Sullivan
• God loves you and there is nothing you can do to change that.

References:

• 2 Nephi 25:23
• “Tomorrow the Lord Will Do Wonders Among You,” April 2016
• “You Are My Hands,” April 2010
•  The Broken Heart [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1989], 155
• Romans 8 
• John 3:16
• Dan Sullivan’s excellent book The GAP and the GAIN: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success 
• “What Does It Mean to Be Perfect?” devotional given on March 19, 2002, at the Provo Missionary Training Center
• John 15 
• John 1
• Ephesians 2
• D&C 93:17
• Samuel the Lamanite “‘striving with unwearied diligence”
• Adam Miller's excellent book Original Grace: An Experiment in Restoration Thinking
• Matthew 20:1-15

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

My friend Lacey Jones Coaching interviews me about emotional independence. I tell stories about my first solo international vacation and my recent international vacation with my daughter.

Coaching Tools:

• Making peace with worst-case scenario
• Deciding that nothing has gone wrong
• Self-acceptance and love vs. all-or-nothing thinking

Thoughts:

• What you want matters
• You have everything you need

Go find Lacey's podcast Elevate the Individual to hear more from her!

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

What do we learn if we consider that WE might be the lost sheep in the parable of the lost sheep?

“God’s Love: The Most Joyous to the Soul” by Susan Porter, First Counselor in the Primary General Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

“Heaven is cheering you on today, tomorrow, and forever.” Elder Jeffrey Holland, Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

A former member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints shared with Candice what was hurtful and what was helpful from family and friends as they navigated their faith journey.

NOT HELPFUL

• Setting minimum standards of belief such as "as long as you still believe in God"
• "Have you prayed about it?"
• Giving apologist books with answers that don't resonate
• Labeling as "not diligent" or "lazy"
• Ridiculing people who are not at church for their clothing choices or their intelligence, etc.
• Only talking about church
• Ignoring their experience as they leave the church
• Failing to consider the actual impact of well-intended offers

HELPFUL

• Talking about things that are not church-related
• Learning and honoring boundaries
• Sincerely saying things like, "Thank you for telling me," "I know this is hard for you," "I want to support you," etc.
• Asking follow-up questions - with consent
• Remember that, although someone else staying or leaving is outside of your control, you always get to decide how you behave
• Expressing pride and respect in them as a person
• Take a sincere interest. Don't just tolerate them; embrace them

ASK YOURSELF

1. Is there a difference between what I am trying to communicate and the actual effect it's having?
2. Is there a way for me to be more loving that would improve my experience and strengthen my relationship with my child so I can be a blessing in their life and not a painful burden?

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

How do you feel when you hear the words "covenant path?"

When you think about Pr. Nelson's direction to "keep on the covenant path," who do you think he's talking to: you or your children who don't come to church?

What is a covenant? Do you think about it transactionally or relationally?

What do you mean when you describe someone as "inactive," "less active," or "returning member?" Does thinking about your children in those terms help or hinder your relationship with them?

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

• Where the expression "no empty chairs" came from - President Ezra Taft Benson - https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/teachings-of-presidents-of-the-church-ezra-taft-benson/chapter-14-marriage-and-family-ordained-of-god?lang=eng
• One woman's story of feeling like she was an empty chair and how that didn't help her - https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2013/03/no-empty-chairs?lang=eng
• Shame is the “intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging" - Brené Brown -
  https://brenebrown.com/articles/2013/01/15/shame-v-guilt/
• "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear" - 1 John 4:18-19 - https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/nt/1-jn/4?lang=eng
• "Then Jesus beholding him loved him" - Mark 10:17-22 - https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/nt/mark/10?lang=eng
• "You are worrying about the wrong problem. You just live worthy of the celestial kingdom, and the family arrangements will be more wonderful than you can imagine" - quoted by Pr. Henry B. Eyring - https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2016/08/the-hope-of-eternal-family-love?lang=eng

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!