Fr. Zach Weber is a priest in the Diocese of Green Bay and a friend of Fr. Mark from their days in the seminary. He also has a Fit Shepherds group with a group of men in the Antigo area of Wisconsin.

In the short audio segment above, he refers to a book called You Have What It Takes by John Eldredge. From the Amazon.com’s summary of the book, it said: “Eldredge gives fathers a look inside both themselves and their sons and daughters, encouraging them to give their children permission to be who God designed them to be.”

In the audio interview, Fr. Zach offers his definition of what it means to “have what it takes” and he also responds in a brilliant way in talking about how Jesus nurtured Peter, who later became St. Peter, into believing and understanding that he had what it took to become, in Jesus’ words: “And I tell you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the powers of death shall not prevail against it” (Matthew 16:17-19).

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John Eldredge: What we're trying to describe is the question boys are asking, "Daddy. Do I have it? Do I have what it takes?" And the role of the father to answer that question for his son, not just once, but a thousand times over his youth. And if all you'll do now is just look for it when he's playing in the yard, when he's building a model airplane. The question will come up, "I can't do this. I don't have what it takes." And it's the father's role to step in and say, "Son you do, you do." In fact, this is absolutely amazing, right before Jesus starts His official ministry, He's obviously been in the carpenter's shop for years but He's now going public and it's those last three years. He is baptized by John in the Jordan. He comes up out of the water and what happens?Question: The dove descends and said, "This is my beloved Son in whom I'm well pleased." And then He is led into the wilderness.John Eldredge: If the father speaks and he validates him. I mean he basically says, "Jesus you are the apple of my eye. You have what it takes." Now, this is amazing. If Jesus needed to hear that, the Son of God needed those words from His father before He launched into His greatest test of His life, how much more do we need to hear those as men?

From a Q and A with John Eldredge on his books, which are focused on ministering to men

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Do you have what it takes? This is one of the central questions of manhood. Perhaps your personal version of it is a bit more nuanced: “Do I have what it takes to do my job/school, ask this girl out or eventually to marry me, to be a father?” But we all ask ourselves that question in some way, and often multiple times.

One of the biggest dangers is in trying to answer that question by comparing yourself to those around you. Reality check, there will always be someone better than you at any given thing. If you find your value in sports, there will be someone faster, stronger, and more talented. If you place your worth in your intellect. there will be someone smarter than you. If you place your value on holiness that seems like a good thing but, guess what, there are lots of people holier than you.

So where do we look? How do we find our worth and how do we know if we have what it takes? The answer is to first look to God, our Father, and how much He loves us. Interesting tidbit, He didn’t just create you and set you out on your own, like a wind-up toy that he left to fend for itself. He sustains you, your being, in every moment. We have often heard that we can’t take a breath without God giving it to us, but more than that, everything we see, or think, or do is made possible because God sustains us. We are like sailboats that only move because God blows and fills our sails with wind. Without Him it is not that we can’t do anything, it’s that we wouldn’t even exist. If he were to stop sustaining us we wouldn’t just vaporize, it would be like we never existed.

—From a blog post on https://fraternus.net/ by Thomas Connelly

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He describes the five keys [see below to read a quick synopsis] that are part of the ministry, but also shares about why healing is an important part of our journeys in life as disciples.

It’s important to note that, once churches are open again, confessing to a priest in the Sacrament of Reconciliation is an important part of everyone’s healing journeys.

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If you have tried to follow Christ and question whether you know Him as your Savior, I suggest you start with this prayer: “Jesus, show me what is wrong with me.” It won’t be long before you know your need for the Savior.

— From Neil Lozano’s Book, Unbound

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The tentacles of hopelessness seek to hold our lives (or pockets of our lives) in bondage by convincing us there is no way out. We develop patterns of thinking, such as, “There is no one who can help. I can never change. The problem I have is too big. I’ve tried everything, and I can’t do anything about it.” Many fail to grow in hope because they do nothing. … The ultimate purpose of our freedom from evil spirits is not that we would feel better, but that we would surrender more fully to the Lord and give our life for the purpose of advancing the Kingdom of God.

— From Neil Lozano’s Book, Unbound

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The wisdom of Christ makes you capable of pushing on to discover the deepest source of evil existing in the world. And it stirs us to proclaim to all men the truth we have learned from the Master's lips (Mark 7:21), that evil comes “from within people, from their hearts." So the root of evil is within man. The remedy, therefore, must also begin in the heart. And it is precisely here that our Lord wishes to lead us.

— St. John Paul II

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The Unbound model of deliverance ministry is not a new teaching. It is a way of applying the Gospel to a person’s story, packaged in five steps or “keys”:

1. Repent for your sins; believe in Jesus and surrender your life to him.

2. Forgive those who have hurt you and release them to God’s merciful judgment.

3. Close any doors you have opened to the enemy’s influence by naming evil and renouncing it.

4. Stand in the authority Jesus gives you and tell the devil to leave you alone.

5. Receive the Father’s blessing on your identity and destiny. Come home to God’s family.

The reason these are called “keys” is that Satan gains access to areas of our lives when we open doors to his influence through sin, unforgiveness, agreement with lies; when we respond negatively to life’s pain; when we don’t understand our authority in Christ; and when we don’t live securely in our identity as sons and daughters of God.

— John Kazanjian

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Prayer for Healing:

Lord Jesus Christ, I come before you just as I am, sorry for my sins. I repent for every one of them; please forgive me. I accept you as my Savior; I give you my entire self now and forever. Save me by your mercy and fill me with your Holy Spirit, the Spirit of power and of peace.

Because you have forgiven me and because you command it, I now forgive others for the wrongs they have done to me, the ways they have hurt me, the damage they have caused in my life. I offer forgiveness to all these people in union with the forgiveness you offer from the cross, knowing that I can’t do it on my own.

In your name, I renounce Satan and all evil spirits: their works, their lying ways, and their empty promises. I reject all the strategies that the enemy uses to deceive and destroy me, and I tell him and his evil angels to leave me alone.

Jesus, teach me to know the Father and how to receive His blessing. Heal me, change me, and strengthen me so that I can follow you more faithfully every day along the path to eternal life in heaven. I want to become the person the Father created me to be, living the life I was made for. I love you, Lord. Thank you for my freedom! Amen.

Healing is an important part of our journeys in life, and it plays a part in being missionary disciples. Click on the audio above to listen to a short audio segment as Fr. Burke talks about the importance of opening yourself to receive God’s graces through healing.

He recommends you read two books on the subject of healing to learn more. Here are links to each:

Unbound by Neal Lozano and Be Healed by Dr. Bob Schucts.

This is part one of a two-part series on healing and missionary discipleship. The next issue of the newsletter will have part two.

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“Here it is worth reflecting on the problem of pride. We are all born with a deep wound, experienced as a lack of being. We seek to compensate by constructing a self different from our real self. This artificial self requires large amounts of energy to maintain it; being fragile, it needs protecting. Woe to anyone who contradicts it, threatens it, questions it, or inhibits its expansion. When the Gospel says we must ‘die to ourselves,’ it means this artificial ego, this constructed self, must die, so that the real self given us by God can emerge.” 

— From Fr. Jacque Philippe’s book, Interior Freedom

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Question: What is the “wholeness” God wants to restore in us?

Dr. Schuchts: Wholeness is becoming who God called us to be, what He had in mind in creation and redemption. To be restored to physical, emotional, and spiritual health. Jesus and Mary are the models for our wholeness. Wholeness comes from growing in communion with God.

Wholeness is best expressed in this passage in the Bible: “May the God of peace himself make you perfectly holy and may you entirely, spirit, soul, and body, be preserved blameless for the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (1 Th. 5:23)

— From an interview with Dr. Schuchts in the National Review

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[Dr. Schuchts] contrasts the Tree of Life (an image for our life in Christ) with the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil (an image for our life of sin).  Drawing from Ephesians, he describes a process of security / maturity / purity as we grow from the roots to the trunk to the fruits. By contrast, our life of sin sprouts up from the roots of insecurity, grows in immaturity, and bears the rotten fruits of impurity. The unhealthy growth comes in the form of one or more of the seven deadly sins. The rotten fruit that emerges are the sins that priests typically hear people confessing – over and over and over again. Perhaps it’s gossip and jealousy, perhaps fault-finding and outbursts of anger, perhaps pornography and masturbation, perhaps overindulging in food and drink.

Those poor penitents sincerely desire to stop their sins. And without a doubt, they are forgiven every time. But they are likely to keep repeating the same sins until they can go down to the roots. There Bob describes the “seven deadly wounds” of abandonment, fear, powerlessness, hopelessness, confusion, rejection, and shame. We experience these wounds during the most painful moments of our life. It is within those deep human wounds that the evil one eagerly attempts to sow his lies: you are all alone, you will never figure it out, you will always mess it up, no one would ever want to love you… We can carry these lies within our hearts for many, many years.

Healing at the roots of our sins includes allowing Jesus to enter in and cast out the lies about ourselves and about God. Even more important than renouncing the lies, it means positively allowing the love and truth of Jesus to be proclaimed and embraced and integrated. It is one thing to believe a truth intellectually, but another for it to sprout and grow and bear fruit.

—From a blog posting by Fr. Derek Sakowski

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—From a webinar by Dr. Schuchts

In the meantime, to inspire you all with more thoughts on faith, see the quotes below. One day at a time, fellas, praying, praying, praying one minute at a time.

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Faith is the answer to fear. Deep down we are all afraid: of suffering, or of dying, or of God’s judgment, or of the unknown, or of weakness, or of our lives slipping out of our control, or of not being understood and loved. We sin because we fear. We bully because we are cowards. Faith casts out fear as light casts out darkness. God has shone His light into our world, and it is stronger than darkness (John 1:5). That light is Jesus Christ.

— Peter Kreeft, Catholic theologian and author

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You can never predict in advance how things will turn out. Anyone who is extrapolating the decline of the Church in academic, statistical fashion from the situation in Europe is failing to recognize the unpredictable nature of human history in general – and in particular, God’s power to take the initiative by intervening, as He is always able to do.

—Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI

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Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

— Philippians 4:6-7

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The worst enemy of a fragile faith — curious, isn’t it? — is fear. Do not be afraid! We are frail and we know it, but He is stronger! If you walk with Him, there is no problem! A child is very frail — I have seen many children today — but if they’re with their father, with their mother, they are safe. With the Lord we are safe. Faith grows with the Lord, from the very hand of the Lord; this helps us grow and makes us strong.

— Pope Francis

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God's love calls us to move beyond fear. We ask God for the courage to abandon ourselves unreservedly so that we might be molded by God's grace, even as we cannot see where that path may lead us.

— St. Ignatius Loyola

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When we are overtaken by some unexpected misfortune or sorrow or are forced to undertake an unusually difficult job, we often forget to surrender ourselves into the hands of God and pray for help and peace of mind. Instead, we feel annoyed and discouraged and give vent to our feelings in a most unchristian manner.

“Why should it happen to me?”

This is the reaction of many people in such cases.

“It had to happen to me!” they say.

They forget that sanctity involves sacrifice, self-denial, and resignation to the will of God.

“The kingdom of heaven has been enduring violent assault, and the violent have been seizing it by force,” the Gospel says (Matthew 11:12).

In other words, if a man wants to win Heaven, he must be stern with himself and establish control over any perverse tendencies in his own nature.

— Cardinal Antonio Bacci

I’m the youngest of three children. The eldest sibling, Nancy, died from cancer in 2005 at the age of 45. My other sibling, Rose, died on Nov. 1, 2019, at the age of 59 in a tragic and brutal accident. I share more on this in what I write below.

Rest in peace, Rose, and may perpetual light shine upon you….

Click the following link, or the audio above, to listen to my eulogy from my sister's funeral

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I surrender.

No military leader ever wants to say that phrase. It implies loss. Giving up. Bowing down to someone more powerful. 

That phrase also frightens many Christians. It means they have to follow God’s will. It means God is in charge, and many of us, as fallen creatures, don’t like to trust God to be in control. That phase, in theory, was one I wanted to follow but didn’t because of excessive fear and pride. 

In the summer of 2018, I learned the key to surrendering to God’s will. I share this story to inspire you to understand the Sacrament of the Present Moment. And I share it with you to understand that a vital part of living is to know that we are mortal. And, like Kobe’s death at a way-too-early age, our mortality can change in an instant. So how do we live with that knowledge? How do we live, fully, in order to prepare to die?

Jesus answered it this way, from John 10:10: “A thief comes only to steal and slaughter and destroy; I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly.”

So the key to a life of abundance is through Christ, through a relationship with Him. And that means we are all faced with a major question:

The way to get to know Christ is to align ourselves to His will, which is what the Sacrament of the Present Moment is all about. It is learning how to surrender to His will, each moment of the day, because we are keeping our eyes, hearts, minds and souls open to knowing Him and knowing His presence in all the events that happen during the day. This is important because, ultimately, our lives on earth are but a millisecond when compared to eternity.

The event that truly kickstarted my surrender was my wife being diagnosed with a terminal illness, called Huntington’s disease, a rare neurodegenerative illness with no cure. If you are related to someone who has it — my wife’s father died from it, as did multiple relatives on his side of the family — you have a 50-percent chance of getting it. 

A common description of the illness is, imagine if you have Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s and ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease). The disease attacks your nervous system, at a certain point rendering you incapable of controlling your muscles, eventually leading to your muscles twitching in a spasmodic fashion. Because we have muscles in our throat, one day those muscles for those with Huntington’s will not be able to be controlled. This means they will not be able to swallow food, which means they will no longer be able to eat.

Another way the disease works is that it attacks the brain. It essentially makes you psychotic; reality, in other words, becomes severely distorted.

A genetic test in the summer of 2018 revealed my wife had it. Our 22-year-old daughter also tested positive for the gene last spring. 

As you can imagine, this news was devastating. In prayer, I learned that I needed to turn to Christ. His life and mindset modeled surrender. Only He could give me the love and peace I needed to accept God’s will, and only He could fill me with the kind of patience and love I need as a caregiver. 

In the months since, I have learned that surrendering to God’s will requires living in, and acknowledging, the Sacrament of the Present Moment, a phrase most famously used by Father Jean-Pierre de Caussade, S.J., more than 250 years ago in his classic book called Abandonment to Divine Providence.

This phrase means we need to lovingly accept what God is allowing in His Divine will each moment of the day. My path as a missionary disciple – which, I pray, is a path leading to holiness – depends on seeing God in each moment, being holy indifferent to what I may perceive as “bad” things in life, such as something not going my way or a suffering that I wish I, or someone I love, didn’t have to endure. 

Our holiness means we live each moment as a blessing from God, confident and full of faith and love for His love and mercy for us — and not anxious about the future or bogged down by the past but surrendering each moment with love to the One who is Love. 

To show you the power of this surrender, here is a concrete example. On Nov. 1, 2019, my sister, Rose, died in a tragic accident. During a horrible storm, a tree fell on the car she was in — she was waiting for the storm to pass in the car with her son in her driveway after they had attended a faith-related event that evening. The limb of the red oak tree intersected perfectly on the passenger side of the car, landing on top of where she was sitting and crushing her. It severed her spinal cord and caused traumatic brain injuries. She died shortly afterward. Her son, sitting in the driver’s side, was untouched. 

Here is what the car looked like the next morning:

As fate would have it, my nephew (her son) and I had, on a daily basis, for months prior to the accident, been praying a prayer of abandonment by Blessed Charles de Foucauld. Here are several of the lines:

My Father,

I abandon myself to You. Do with me whatever you please. Whatever You do with me, I thank you. I am ready for anything; I accept everything…

This is what surrendering does. You accept everything, even an unimaginable tragedy.

A week later, on the night before her funeral, my nephew, a friend of my late sister and I attended a talk on surrendering to God. The speaker, a priest by the name of Father Jeffrey Kirby, had written an excellent book called Be Not Troubled, based on Father de Caussade’s book. 

That evening, I drove to the airport to pick up three of my sister’s friends who were arriving to attend the funeral. I was in an old Crown Victoria, a car much larger and older than my car back home. I was not used to the brakes; you had to really push down on it to get any kind of decent braking action. 

The roads were slick, the night cold. I was unfamiliar with the route. My vision at night is also terrible. The time I was driving was the time that the tree fell on my sister exactly a week before. All these factors combined to make me anxious. 

I stayed anxious for about three minutes.

Then I remembered Father Kirby’s talk and his book, which I had just read that week. I also thought about how, in the previous months, I had been training myself to be in the present moment. How I’ve been working on accepting God’s will through frequent prayer and repeating over and over again: “Jesus, I trust in you. Jesus, I trust in you.” 

This is the kind of intensive training that Kobe, who was known for his intensive training, would have appreciated. It is what gives you that extra edge when you need that extra edge.

My anxiety disappeared. I was in the moment. And God was with me, so all was good. If something bad was going to happen, I was at peace because I trusted in God. And this trust was not based on the fact that good things will always happen to me in life, but in the fact that, if bad things do happen, then the following statement from what Father de Caussade wrote makes total sense: "Each circumstance is as a stone towards the construction of the heavenly Jerusalem, and all helps to build a dwelling for us in that marvelous city.”

After my anxiety disappeared, I picked up my sister’s friends at the airport. And then, while driving 60 MPH on I-95, I noticed a deer crossing the highway, ahead of where my car was and to my left. The deer, all approximately 200 pounds of it, had managed to cross two lanes of the highway without being hit and was about to intersect in front of my car in the lane that I was in.

I had heard about the expression – “deer in the headlights” – and I actually experienced that because the deer saw me, saw my car – its eyes shining brightly – and paused slightly. But it was on a mission, and its mission was to cross that highway. It kept moving forward after a slight pause, and then my instincts kicked in, causing me to swerve slightly to the right, braking as I did so, hoping to avoid hitting the frightened animal.

But the deer kept coming, and, within milliseconds, it did intersect with the car. It bounced off the side, shearing off the left rear-view mirror, all within about two seconds of me seeing it in my peripheral vision. 

Here is what the car looked like the next morning:

My reaction before, during and after the deer striking the car: I was as calm as I was before I noticed it. I’m not kidding you. I was literally as calm as I was before I saw the deer. My sister’s friends were astounded. I was in the present moment.

God was there; thanks be to God. 

My sister’s friends asked me how I was able to remain so calm. I told them how I had been training, for months, to stay in the present moment, and I told them about Father Kirby’s talk earlier that evening.

If we are trying to live an abundant life, we don’t need to be afraid because, as Father de Caussade wrote:

Thus, full of faith and love and using a laser focus on the present moment, we can be like our Master, Jesus, who constantly modeled faith and love by His reliance on surrendering to the Will of His Father. In the process, we are also paving a path to heaven, which is part of Jesus’ wise command to “seek ye first the Kingdom.”

In his book, Father Kirby wrote: 

“Holiness is found here and now. Holiness is looking for God’s presence where we are and not where we would prefer to be. It is seeing God’s goodness in circumstances or people we would rather not. Holiness is leaving the world of fantasy and wishful thinking and being in the present moment. It is being attentive to where we are and doing what we are doing. Not existing in the future… but accepting God’s providence that is at our fingertips.”

This is the kind of holiness that is only the result of training ourselves to surrender. This takes time — and effort. Kobe poured a tremendous amount of energy to train himself to be a champion on the basketball court. It showed; he is remembered as one of the all-time greats. His focus on the court should be an inspiration to us to know that we can be champions in life in getting to know the Lord. It all begins with learning how to surrender.

I am surrendering.

Will you?

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I recently created a website devoted to inspiring people to surrender to God in the Sacrament of the Present Moment. I invite you to check it out and be part of the journey of learning to surrender to the Divine in the Sacrament of the Present Moment.

The site can be accessed here:https://sotpm.design.blog

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St. Teresa of Avila makes a very striking statement about how carelessness about sin seriously blocked her progress: “As for venial sins, I paid little attention; and that is what destroyed me.”[1] She points out that this was partly the case because she was given advice that “was liberal and permissive.” “What was venial sin they said was no sin at all, and what was serious mortal sin they said was venial. This did me so much harm. . . . I went on in this blindness for I believe more than seventeen years until a Dominican Father, a very learned man, enlightened me about many things.”

At the same time, Teresa acknowledges that she probably should have known better what was right and wrong and that there may have been something in her that too easily accepted this very bad advice. Scripture makes clear that there is something in all of us that has an inclination to look for advice that will let us follow our selfish desires: “For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own likings, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander into myths” (2 Tim. 4:3-4).

Teresa makes, though, a very important distinction between deliberate and freely chosen venial sin (advertent) and venial sin that is not deliberately and freely chosen (inadvertent). She gives a very clear description of what she means: “Be careful and attentive-this is very important-until you see that you are strongly determined not to offend the Lord, that you would lose a thousand lives rather than commit venial sins-that is, advertently; for otherwise, who can go without committing many?”

When Scripture comments that “the just man falls seven times a day” (Prov. 24:16), Teresa understands this as referring to a basically righteous person inadvertently committing small-venial-sins. She thinks that these faults may be with us throughout our life to some degree even though we are progressing on the spiritual journey.

Teresa comments that such inadvertent venial sins, although unfortunately common, don’t impede the spiritual journey nearly as much as freely choosing to commit “small” sins. Her definition of “advertent” venial sin is clear: “It seems to me a sin is very deliberate when, for example, one says: ‘Lord, You see it, and I know You do not want it, and I understand this; but I want to follow my whim and appetite more than Your will.’ It doesn’t seem to me possible that something like this can be called little, however light the fault; but it’s serious, very serious.”

Making a decision never to freely choose to commit even a small sin is an important turning point in the spiritual journey. As Teresa points out, freely choosing to commit a “small” sin isn’t really a little thing if we are trying to live a life pleasing to God.

— From a blog post by Ralph Martin, the author of “The Fulfillment of All Desire”

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The deeper our friendship with the Lord, the deeper our obedience to Him, the deeper our sensitivity to the work of His Spirit in our souls, the more fruitful we’re going to be in the mission that He’s given us. And sometimes we reach a certain level in our relationship with the Lord and we say, I’m really doing a lot better than I used to do which is thanks be to God, really true, or I’m certainly doing a lot better than those people over there. We always find people to compare ourselves to make ourselves feel good. But the Lord is saying, don’t look at the past, don’t look at other people, look at Me. Teresa of Avila says, if we just keep our eyes on Jesus, we’ll find ourselves at our destination . . . if we just keep our eyes on Jesus, we’ll find ourselves at our destination.

— From a speech by Ralph Martin

Below, you will find more inspirational passages about magnanimity. Enjoy!

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Magnanimity and humility are inseparable. Magnanimity without humility is pride, and humility without magnanimity is pusillanimity. One needs a pure heart, a strong will, and a bright intellect not to break the intimate link that unites these two virtues. Magnanimity and humility go hand in hand. An important aspect of humility is to acknowledge our dignity, talents, and greatness. And when we speak of magnanimity, we must never forget to mention that our dignity, talents, and greatness are gifts from God.

— From “From Temperament to Character: On Becoming a Virtuous Leader” by Alexandre Havard

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Magnanimity is often lived — in quiet, simple ways off the radar screen of most of the world. The person who daily endeavors to be a better spouse, parent, friend, or child of God is truly seeking "greatness of soul."…

Indeed, the magnanimous person continuously strives to perfect the virtues in all areas of his life. He is not content with simply being good. He reaches out toward excellence. For example, magnanimity may impel a good man to go beyond his daily obligations and make more sacrifices in his daily life for the sake of others. He may be driven to defer to others' preferences, to endure criticism with patience, to respond gently to his child's temper tantrum, or to avoid defending his opinion in non-essential matters. These are small ways of living "greatness of soul." As such, magnanimity is sometimes called the "adornment" of all the virtues, for the magnanimous man endeavors to make his virtues greater. Or as Aquinas explains, "If his soul is endowed with great virtue, magnanimity makes him tend to perfect works of virtue."

— From a blog posting by Edward Sri called “Called to Greatness: Magnanimity”

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It’s much easier to say to God: ‘Do the work in me, and I just do nothing.' But God very often tells us: ‘I will not do it because I have already given you talents through nature; you have to discover those things and do it.' … Humility is to say: ‘I have gifts, I have talents, and they come from God.’ You recognize that you have not produced those talents, that they are a gift from Him to you. Then magnanimity is to say: ‘I have them, but I have to make them fructify, I must develop them and multiply them, and put them at the service of the community and the common good.'  So you see these two things come together. [Talents] are not mine. I have been given them, and this is my humility; my magnanimity tells me to multiply them and use them.

— From an interview with Alexandre Havard

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Weariness, melancholy, feeling overworked, discouragement, instability, activism, boredom, or depression: these various manifestations of the “noonday devil” [acedia or sloth] are enough to convince us of the relevance of an evil that caused man to lose his relish for life… Left to his own devices, man ultimately despairs of ever being able to find a meaning for his existence and runs the risk of sinking into mediocrity that is just the symptom of his rejection of his own greatness as an adopted son of God.

— Cardinal Marc Ouellet, the former Archbishop of Quebec

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Consider, for example a man who is a workaholic. Now suppose too that this man has a wife and children. A man in this position has some very significant gifts and duties beyond his career. He is a husband, a father, and the spiritual leader of his home. He is also a disciple, whom the Lord has summoned to new life, to the great discovery of God, and the deepest meanings and realities of his life. He also has the awesome dignity to announce these truths to his wife and children.

But all of the duties and glories of his vocation overwhelm and even scare him. It all seems so irksome and the task too open-ended. Frankly, he doesn’t want to reflect too much, because it might summon him to ponder things he would like to avoid considering,  such as moral questions, or priorities, or whether he is really spending enough time with his wife and children, or whether his life is really focused on things that matter most. No, its all just too irksome, too ridden with uncertainty to enter more deeply into the spiritual life. Work is easier, and at work they call him “sir” and do what he says.

So, he buries himself in his work. And this helps him to avoid prayer, and reflection. Of course there is “no time” for Mass or for praying with his wife and children. There is no time for scripture, retreats and the like.

This man is not lazy, but he is slothful. In the end his workaholism is sloth, for it is sorrow and aversion at the gift that the Lord offers him to come out into the deeper waters and lower his net for a catch. His sorrow for spiritual goods, in this case, is manifest by a kind of avoidance rooted in fear. By sloth he is not joyful at the invitation of the Lord or the Church. Instead he is sorrowful and averse to what he sees as toilsome, and possibly as raising uncomfortable things he would rather not look at. He does not hate God or the faith, but it is all just too much.

That said, sloth does often manifest as a kind of lethargy, and kind of boredom that can’t muster any interest, energy, joy or enthusiasm for spiritual gifts. Such people may be enthusiastic about any number of things, but God and the faith are not among them.

To a great extent boredom is elevated in modern times and this fuels sloth. In effect we are hyper-stimulated in the modern world. Our frantic pace, endless interruptions, and the rich abundance of entertainment, fast-paced movies, video games, all are a feast for the eyes but they hyper-stimulate. From the time we awaken to our return to sleep,there is almost never a moment of silence, or a time when we are not being bombarded by images, often flickering and quickly changing.

This hyper-stimulation means that when we come upon things like quiet prayer or adoration, or are asked to listen for an extended period, or when the imagery is not fast changing we are easily bored.

And boredom feeds right into sloth. The “still, small voice of God,” the quiet of prayer, the simple reading of Scripture and pondering its message, the unfolding of spiritual meaning through reflection, the slower joys of normal human conversation in communal prayer and fellowship…none of this appeals to many who are hyper-stimulated, and used to a breakneck pace.

— From Msgr. Charles Pope’s blog

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St. Thomas Aquinas gives two separate definitions of acedia: “sadness about spiritual good” and “disgust with activity.” …

By the first definition, acedia is a sin against the gaudium de caritate (the joy of love). This is because acedia is sadness about not just spiritual good in general, but about the ultimate spiritual good—the Beatific Vision itself! For St. Thomas, joy is an affective reaction to a good, whereas sadness is an affective reaction to an evil. The implication for our time begins to reveal itself here, for somehow the soul suffering from acedia comes to perceive the greatest possible good—union with God—as an evil.

How does this come about? As a general answer, St. Thomas says that man can become sad at the prospect of union with God because it requires him to give up limited or apparent (and seemingly more concrete) goods to which he is attached. Acedia is complex, however, and works on many levels and in different forms. We may flee union with God itself, or we may simply flee the things that will lead us to union with God. In the first case, when beatitude itself saddens us, we are dealing with the direst consequence of acedia: despair. …

Those who despair of being able to attain man’s highest vocation, St. Thomas warns, run the risk of becoming satisfied with a mere “animal beatitude.” This is the modern condition, where we are not even aware of our own despair; as Flannery O’Connor put it, our age has “domesticated despair.” We begin to believe that human life is fundamentally absurd. When animal beatitude ultimately fails us, we embrace nihilism, at best with a senile and ineffectual coating of humanism, at worst as an open “hatred of being,” a belief that it would be better not to exist.

Acedia in the Modern Situation

The immoralism of the age of acedia is only in part a matter of pleasure-seeking; indeed, as Joseph Ratzinger writes, “The forbidden joys lose their attraction the moment they are no longer forbidden.” With the loss of meaning, the spiritual instability brought on by acedia manifests itself as a desire to constantly redefine ourselves, to remake human nature as we see fit and to construct all kinds of false “identities.” Because God dwells within us, we can no longer stand to dwell within our true selves; acedia makes us flee our “cell.” Above all, we hate to be alone and quiet, and the innumerable ways we find to distract ourselves need not be mentioned here.

Ultimately, acedia leads us to deny our own potential for greatness. This is the vice of faint-heartedness or pusillanimity, which St. Thomas opposes to the virtue of magnanimity, greatness of soul. Ratzinger connects this with false humility: “Man does not want to believe that God is concerned about him, knows him, loves him, watches over him, is close to him.” Man alternates between “scientifically” reducing himself to just another animal and, contradictorily, believing himself the sole blight on an otherwise perfect natural world. The hatred of being mentioned earlier takes on a peculiar form in the environmentalist fantasy that the salvation of the earth will be man’s disappearance from it.

The false humility in which we say we are not worthy of God’s love (as an excuse to refuse it) is false precisely because “God has loved us” first (1 John 4:10), and this is what makes us worthy. If fashionable talk of man’s insignificance in the universe sounds strangely boastful, it is because it is actually the height of arrogance. 

— From an article by Thomas Mirus on catholicculture.org

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— Fr. Michael Schmitz on acedia

In it, he talks about the wounds we develop from childhood and the beliefs and vows that follow as a result of those wounds, which often lead us to sinful/unhealthy behaviors. (That’s a tree at the bottom of the circles he drew, showing roots. Please listen to his talk. It will make more sense.)

To attend a retreat on healing from Sept. 19-21 at St. Isaac Jogues, where the same concepts that Fr. Mark talks about will be shared in depth, check out this website to attend: https://jpiihealingcenter.org/events/healing-the-whole-person-hinsdale-il/

This healing retreat will greatly help you in your healing process.

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The following is from a blog called Embracing Your Greatness by Christina King:

“A stronghold is any pattern of behavior in your life that you know is against the will of God but continues to persist even when you try to change it,” said Dr. Bob Schuchts. [To hear by Dr. Schuchts, go here: https://fitshepherds.substack.com/p/if-you-feel-wounded-by-something]

This pattern is a result of the barriers we have built around our heart, brick by brick, lie by lie and vow by vow in an attempt to protect ourselves from being hurt or suffering in some way. The problem with putting up walls around our hearts is that we keep out the good along with the bad. We become like a prisoner within a castle and the stronghold keeps us there.  

Counseling can bring us temporary relief, can teach us coping skills and can give us a means by which to deal with the distress symptoms that result from us believing the lies, but they cannot change the stronghold or bring it down. Medication can offer us some relief as well, perhaps helping us manage our anxiety that is related to the stronghold, but this is not a chemical imbalance we are talking of. A stronghold is an action of our free will, and, unless we take it down with our own free will, it will not be moved by medication. Praying is helpful and is definitely a step in the right direction as God is the one that can help to expose the lies so we know where to start, but unless we are using the weapons spoken of by St. Paul then we are only managing the our pain rather than finding true freedom.

Dr. Schucht’s goes on to say that “Every thought and imagination that exalts itself against the knowledge of God results in a stronghold.” So in the name of Jesus Christ, through the power of God we can break strongholds. Without the power of God we are just using our will to do something or not do something. If we try to overcome stronghold by own own sheer will, we will end up frustrated or giving up all together.

As you can see from the image above, the 7 deadline sins are pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed and sloth. Dr. Schucht’s reminds us that “it is interesting to note that they are dispositions or attitudes of our hearts before they are sins. These are attitudes of our hearts that orientate us towards sin. Each one of them has an idolatry of something that exalts itself above God.”

* Anger is an idolatry of control.

* Pride is an idolatry of self.

* Greed is an idolatry of things.

* Lust is an idolatry relationship.

* Gluttony is an idolatry of substance to comfort.

* Sloth is an idolatry of comfort to avoid pain.

* Envy is an idolatry of the status position or privileges of other people

To explain this further, let me clarify the relationship of sin, idol, wound, lies and vows. When the enemy proposes a lie, and if we accept his proposal, we then turn away from God. When we turn away from God, we then are turning toward something else. This “something else” becomes our idol. If we are feeling powerless, the enemy may propose the lie that “we must be in control or we will be hurt.” We then accept his proposal and profess to him our vows to unite ourselves to his lie. Our vow may be “I will make sure I always remain in control,” 

My idol is now control and not God. When I am feeling powerless, I no longer turn to God and believing that He will protect me and His hand is guiding my life for my well-being. Instead, my heart has closed itself to God; instead my new idol of control is what I live by to protect myself from feeling powerless. I have exalted control above God. When I cannot control a situation and begin to feel as if I am losing control, the result is my anger. I sin out of my anger in many ways, and they are the distress symptoms. You will see my outbursts, my nit-picking, my perfectionism, my passive-aggressive means of manipulating others you will see me rage. For every wound there is an idol and for every idol we worship we manifest sinful actions. …

Once your identity a sin in your life that you cannot seem to get free from, you must then begin to identify the lies that you believe. You must then renounce those lies and ask Jesus to forgive you for making a false idol in an attempt to deal with your pain alone rather than to open your heart to God. This is where healing comes in. If I have truth to undo the lie, if I believe the Scripture that tells me that I should not worry about what I eat and what I wear because I trust in God’s providence, then all of a sudden I can have security, real security because the stronghold lie begins to crumble.  In asking forgiveness for making a false idol and renouncing the lie in Jesus’ name, the enemy’s power is broken. Now the drawbridge has been lowered so that the Holy Spirit, the Paraclete can come in and be the divine physician.

So how do we begin? First you must ask the Holy Spirit to come and help you. God knows what you are ready to deal with and where you must first get free in order to have the strength and courage to press into the other wounds. If you go into areas you are not ready to deal with, it will feel as if the enemy were rubbing salt in your wounds, and you may be too afraid or feel too incapable of handling the pain associated with it.

I started with a distress symptom, an area of my life I felt was creating a pattern of sinful behavior that I just could not seem to get free of. I then asked the Holy Spirit to show me what he wanted me to know about it. For me, he showed me a memory. I then asked the Holy Spirit to reveal the lie in my heart that I believed. I then asked him to reveal the judgment I had made about God and about the other person. 

I then asked God’s forgiveness for the believing the lies, making the judgments and for turning to a false idol instead of to Him. I then asked God to help me forgive the person for what they did. As for the lies, I renounced them in the name of Jesus Christ. It was as if I broke off my union with the enemy had re-united myself to my true Bridegroom, Jesus Christ. The effects were immediate. The peace was beyond anything counseling or anxiety medications or alcohol or food had ever done for me.

When I contemplated the lie again, I laughed out loud because it sounded, AND FELT, so ridiculous. It no longer had any hold over me. Who would have thought that freedom would and could be so instantaneous? This is because it is by the power of God. So why did this work when nothing else seemed to? Because God does not and will not violate our free will. He can supernaturally heal us but before that we must first surrender our will to God and invite Him in. It is, to use the castle analogy,  as if we must lower the drawbridge to give Him access.

If you weren’t able to make it to yesterday’s workout, you can listen to the talk by clicking on the audio above. If you did make it to the workout and wanted to hear the talk again, here’s your chance.

For those who don’t have the time to listen to Fr. Mark’s audio talk, read below. It gives an excerpt, written by Nathaniel Peters, from an article in First Things, a religious journal, that mentions Cardinal Newman’s Parochial and Plain Sermons. I share it as a way to get a small glimpse into some of the wisdom of Newman’s thoughts :

In his sermons, Newman strove manfully (as he would have put it) against the religious tendencies of his day that could compromise Christian faith and vitiate the pursuit of Christian holiness. One of his core themes is the right place of the affections in the spiritual life. In his day, as in our own, people settled for a lukewarm Christianity. They talked about sin, mercy, and forgiveness as ideas, without examining themselves to see how they played out concretely in their own lives. This, Newman argues, leads to false comfort and empty faith. By contrast, “self-knowledge is at the root of all religious knowledge.” Newman continues:

Without self-knowledge you have no root in yourselves personally; you may endure for a time, but under affliction or persecution your faith will not last. This is why many in this age (and in every age) become infidels, heretics, schismatics, disloyal despisers of the Church. They cast off the form of truth, because it never has been to them more than a form. They endure not, because they never have tasted that the Lord is gracious; and they never have had experience of His power and love, because they have never known their own weakness and need.

In order to experience and believe in God’s love, you have to experience just how much you need that love. In order to speak truthfully about God’s mercy, you have to know the reality of that for which he has mercy. “Fear and love must go together,” Newman writes, “always fear, always love, to your dying day.” Hence Christianity is not about feeling happy, good, or saved. Rather it is about feeling [in Newman’s words]:

a deep resignation to God’s will, a surrender of ourselves, soul and body, to Him; hoping indeed, that we shall be saved, but fixing our eyes more earnestly on Him than on ourselves; that is, acting for His glory, seeking to please Him, devoting ourselves to Him in all manly obedience and strenuous good works; and, when we do look within, thinking of ourselves with a certain abhorrence and contempt as being sinners, mortifying our flesh, scourging our appetites, and composedly awaiting that time when, if we be worthy, we shall be stripped of our present selves, and new made in the kingdom of Christ.

Newman’s point is not to replace self-satisfaction with self-loathing. Rather, it is to stop thinking about ourselves, think about Christ, and obey to his commands. Bernard of Clairvaux and the rest of the Fathers would nod in agreement.

The hedonistic paradox is the truth that if you pursue pleasure for its own sake, you will not find it. In his sermons, Newman sets forth a paradox of Christian affections: If you focus on your own feelings and state of mind as if they were “the main business of religion,” you will never develop them rightly. Instead, you should turn from self-contemplation to the contemplation of Christ and let right feelings arise from following him. God is not an emotional high, and seeking God does not equate with seeking an emotional state.

Furthermore, you should not wait until you feel the way you think you should before deciding to act. Living faith produces works, but living faith is not a matter of having right feelings, especially right feelings independent of right works. It is not a matter of “spiritual-mindedness” or “certain emotions and desires” but of the mind and heart laying claim to truths.

A Portrait of Blessed John Henry Newman:

In the audio podcast above, Dr. Bob Schuchts, who has a well-respected healing ministry, talks about various aspects of healing, including a really good definition of what healing is, especially in a spiritual context. Dr. Schuchts will be one of the presenters of a healing retreat at St. Isaac Jogues in Hinsdale from Sept. 19-21.

For more info on the retreat, go here; https://jpiihealingcenter.org/events/healing-the-whole-person-hinsdale-il/

The podcast is short, slightly longer than five minutes, but well worth listening to.

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Here is what then Cardinal Ratzinger (later Pope Benedict XVI) said in document he wrote, called “Instructions for Prayers for Healing”:

Presuming the acceptance of God's will, the sick person's desire for healing is both good and deeply human, especially when it takes the form of a trusting prayer addressed to God. Sirach exhorts his disciple: «My son, when you are ill, delay not, but pray to God, who will heal you» (Sir 38:9). A number of the Psalms also ask for healing (cf. Ps 6; 37; 40; 87).

Large numbers of the sick approached Jesus during his public ministry, either directly or through friends and relatives, seeking the restoration of health. The Lord welcomes their requests and the Gospels contain not even a hint of reproach for these prayers. The Lord's only complaint is about their possible lack of faith: «If you can! Everything is possible to one who has faith» (Mk 9:23; cf. Mk 6:5-6; Jn 4:48).

Not only is it praiseworthy for individual members of the faithful to ask for healing for themselves and for others, but the Church herself asks the Lord for the health of the sick in her liturgy. Above all, there is the sacrament «especially intended to strengthen those who are being tried by illness, the Anointing of the Sick.» «The Church has never ceased to celebrate this sacrament for its members by the anointing and the prayer of its priests, commending those who are ill to the suffering and glorified Lord, that he may raise them up and save them.»

Immediately before the actual anointing takes place, in the blessing of the oil, the Church prays: «Make this oil a remedy for all who are anointed with it; heal them in body, in soul, and in spirit, and deliver them from every affliction» and then, in the first two prayers after the anointing, the healing of the sick person is requested. Since the sacrament is a pledge and promise of the future kingdom, it is also a proclamation of the resurrection, when « there shall be no more death or mourning, crying out or pain, because the old order has passed away» (Rev 21:4).

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Prayer for healing:

My Lord, you are all-powerful, you are God, you are Father.

We beg you through the intercession and help of the archangels Michael, Raphael, and Gabriel for the deliverance of all who are enslaved by the evil one.

All saints of heaven, come to our aid:

* From anxiety, sadness and obsessions, we beg you, free us, O Lord.

* From hatred, fornication, envy, we beg you, free us, O Lord.

* From thoughts of jealousy, rage, and death, we beg you, free us, O Lord.

* From every thought of suicide and abortion, we beg you, free us, O Lord.

* From every form of sinful sexuality, we beg you, free us, O Lord.

* From every division in our family and every harmful friendship, we beg you, free us, O Lord.

* From every sort of spell, witchcraft, and every form of the occult, we beg you, free us, O Lord.

Lord, you who said, "I leave you peace, my peace I give you," grant that, through the intercession of the Virgin Mary, we may be liberated from every evil spell and enjoy your peace always, in the name of Christ, Our Lord. Amen.

Meanwhile, today’s content below deals with how pride can often impact our lives in negative ways, while humility is the virtue that acts to overcome any bouts of excessive pride we exhibit at times.

The following is from Fr. Dwight Longenecker:

Some of the problems we think of as pride are really the symptoms of pride. We consider an arrogant person to be proud, but arrogance is one of the outward signs of pride. A person who displays his achievement or wealth, struts his good looks or brags about his victories is displaying the symptoms of pride. But pride is a much deeper problem and its symptoms can be seen in many other less obvious ways. A person who insists on arguing his point and will not listen to anyone else is proud. A person who simply assumes that he is right in his opinions is proud even though he may not strut or be arrogant. A person who can never be corrected, who is always defensive, who always has an excuse or always blames another person, is proud because they cannot be wrong. Ever. At all.

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The following is from St. John Vianney:

Envy, my children, follows pride; whoever is envious is proud. See, envy comes to us from hell; the devil, having sinned through pride, sinned also through envy, envying our glory, our happiness. Why do we envy the happiness and the goods of others? Because we are proud; we should like to be the sole possessors of talents, riches, of the esteem and love of all the world! We hate our equals, because they are our equals; our inferiors, from the fear that they may equal us; our superiors, because they are above us.

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Instead of succumbing to the sin of pride, we have to work on our humility.

From St. John Vianney:

Humility is to the various virtues what the chain is in a rosary: take away the chain and the beads are scattered; remove humility, and all virtues vanish. 

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From Archbishop William Bernard Ullathorne: 

Humility is the interior, spiritual, sacrificial action through which, with the profoundest veneration and gratitude, we offer to God the being and life we have received from Him, with the desire and prayer that we may die to ourselves and live to Him; that we may be wholly changed and transformed into His likeness, detached from earth and united with God. But as we come to our God from sin and dark ingratitude, we owe more to Him than our being and our life; we owe Him the contrition, the breaking to pieces of our sinful form, with regret and sorrow that we have defiled and defaced His beautiful work; we owe to Him that we throw away every breath of vanity, falsehood and evil.

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Here is a list Mother Teresa kept of ways to cultivate humility for the sisters in her care:

* Speak as little as possible about yourself.

* Keep busy with your own affairs and not those of others.

* Avoid curiosity (she is referring to wanting to know things that should not concern you.)

* Do not interfere in the affairs of others.

*  Accept small irritations with good humor.

*  Do not dwell on the faults of others.

* Accept censures even if unmerited.

* Give in to the will of others.

* Accept insults and injuries.

* Accept contempt, being forgotten and disregarded.

* Be courteous and delicate even when provoked by someone.

* Do not seek to be admired and loved.

* Do not protect yourself behind your own dignity.

* Give in, in discussions, even when you are right.

* Choose always the more difficult task.

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A prayer to achieve the virtue of humility:

Lord Jesus, when you walked the earth, your humility obscured your Kingship. Your meekness confused the arrogant, hindering them from grasping your purpose or understanding your nobleness in attending to those who were destitute. Teach me to model my thoughts and behavior after yours. Teach me to subject my human nature to humility. Grant me a natural inclination to never view myself greater than anyone. Banish all lingering sparks of self-importance that could elevate me greater than you. Let my heart always imitate your humility. Amen.

Welcome to the 10th issue of the Fit Shepherds’ newsletter. You didn’t expect me today, did you? I usually email this out on Thursday nights or Friday mornings. But I’m sharing this issue with you earlier than normal because tomorrow is Catholic Man Night at Our Lady of Mercy. (It starts at 6:30 p.m.) Part of the evening will include an hour of Eucharistic Adoration. What is that? How can one spend the hour? Why is it important?

I’ve searched the internet to find some content that might be helpful for those who have those questions. First, if you have about five minutes, click above to listen to a short podcast by Fr. David Peck, the pastor at St. John Neumann Church in St. Charles, as he shares his top-10 reasons why Eucharistic Adoration is a game changer.

(By the way, even if you can’t make it to Eucharistic Adoration tomorrow night at the Catholic Man Night, consider spending some time in Eucharistic Adoration some other time.)

What is the Eucharist and what is Eucharistic Adoration?

The Eucharist is Christ himself.  During the Mass, the bread is consecrated and becomes the Body of Christ (transubstantiation). Even though we cannot see, touch or taste the difference, and the form of the bread remains the same, the substance is changed. While Jesus Christ is present to us in many ways (i.e., in His word, in prayer, in the poor, in the sacraments), He is present most especially in the Eucharist. Christ’s presence in the Eucharist is unique and raises the Eucharist above all the sacraments. That is why the Eucharist is often called the most Blessed Sacrament. The body and blood, soul and divinity of our Lord Jesus Christ, the whole Christ, is truly, really and substantially contained in the Eucharist.

Eucharistic Adoration is prayer: adoring and honoring the Eucharistic Presence of Jesus Christ. In his Eucharistic presence, Christ remains mysteriously in our midst as the one who loved us and gave Himself up for us. At Adoration, Jesus comes to meet us in a unique way, face-to-face. It is an encounter with Christ.

Some suggestions of what to do at Eucharistic Adoration, according to the Maronite Monks of Adoration. These suggestions are to help you to choose what may help you to focus on during the hour of Adoration. But, please, don’t limit yourself. If some inspiration comes to you about what to pray about, then go with that:

* Slowly read Sacred Scripture until something hits you. Then listen.

* Say the Holy Rosary.

* If you can’t say 15 decades, say five decades.

* If you can’t say five decades, say one decade.

* If you can’t say one decade, say one Hail Mary very slowly.

* In other words, pray as you can, not as you can’t.

* Look at the Good God, and let Him look at you.

* Consider that the Sacred Body of Jesus came from Holy Mary. Thank her.

* Tell Jesus something that made you happy. Then listen.

* Tell Him what you are afraid of. Then listen.

* Tell Him what angers you. Then listen.

* Speak about your loved ones.

* Pray for an enemy.

* Talk with Him about work.

* Pray to St. Joseph and ask for strength as a father and/or as a man.

* Pray for the Holy Souls in Purgatory.

* Sing a song for Him in your heart.

* Promise to trust Him.

* See the Blessed Virgin kneeling next to you, adoring her Son and praying with you.

* Realize that your Holy Guardian Angel is with you. Ask him to coach you in holiness.

* Renew your loyalty to His Church.

* Ask your patron saint to pray for you to know and do God’s Will.

* Lean on Him. Tell Him you love Him.

* Thank Him for the Sacraments.

* For a time, don’t DO anything. Be with Him, as a friend, while He works.

* Ask Him if that is perhaps what He wants you to “do” more often.

* Tell Him your failures. Ask for help. Then listen.

* Slowly recite the Beatitudes:

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy. Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God. Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." 

* Say one Our Father slowly.

* Say the Creed slowly:

I believe in God, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth.I believe in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord. He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit and born of the Virgin Mary. He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried. He descended into hell. On the third day He rose again. He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father. He will come again to judge the living and the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy Catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting. Amen.

* Pray for a great love of the Cross.

* See Our Lord in His Passion. Stand there, with Him, as Our Lady does.

* Lean into the hurricane of graces coming from the monstrance, which is the vessel that holds the consecrated Communion Host. (See photo above.)

* Slowly recite the Jesus Prayer —“Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner” — several times.

* Tell Him: “Jesus, I trust in You; strengthen my trust.” Repeat that several times.

* Ask Him: “Lord, what do you want me to do? And how do you want me to do it?”

* Ask Him to show you the next step.

* Talk to Him heart-to-Heart.

* Pray for the Holy Father. Pray for the priests in this parish.

* Pray for vocations.

* Pray for those who are ill or facing difficulties in life.

* Consider yourself. Count your gifts. Then thank Him.

* Enjoy just being in His Presence.

Also, below are some passages that will help inspire us to overcome anger. Read on!

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The following is from Patrick Coffin, a Catholic radio host:

If you were to sit down and write out a list of qualities of love, what adjective would you write first? “Nice”? “Tender”? “Great”? “Sweet”? Of all the words at his disposal, St. Paul put “patient” at the head of his list of love’s qualities in 1 Corinthians 13:4. The original Greek word is makrothyméō, meaning to persevere patiently and bravely amidst misfortunes and troubles, or to be long suffering.

When it comes to growing in emotional maturity and speaking more effectively, the first person with whom we must be patient is ourselves. When an argument heats up, the one you’re first contending with is you. You can’t control the other person’s reactions, but you can control yours.

So the real victory comes down to self-management. Winning that battle isn’t an overnight event, nor is it wrought by magic. It’s a lifelong struggle. The English nursery rhyme gets it right: “One foot up, one foot down, that’s the way to London town.”

Finally, a saying attributed to the Greek philosopher, Plato, is: “Be kind to everyone you meet because everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.”

You, too, are fighting a great battle. So be kind to yourself.

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From GoodConfession.com:

What is meekness? Meekness is a virtue that moderates anger and controls resentment toward others. It is finding strength through submission to God. Meekness helps us to keep our cool and remain ourselves in the midst of adversity.

Living with meekness

When we forgive and demonstrate meekness toward people or situations that may make us angry, God promises that He will forgive us, too.  Remember the words of the Our Father: “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Meekness, or forgiveness, can be a hard virtue to practice, when we are tempted to hold grudges or give in to unjust anger. But if we can learn how to temper this temptation, we reap the wonderful promises of God.

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The following was written by Father Paul A. Duffner, O.P.:

We have made little progress in the virtue of meekness, if — when unexpected trials, or contradictions, or injuries or offenses come along — our peace of heart vanishes. The meekness of which we speak comes from an habitual frame of mind that sees the merciful and purifying hand of God in all the trials of life, and from a concern to calm the first feelings of anger or resentment, lest they blind one to God's purpose.

By our own efforts alone, however, even aided by grace and the infused virtues, we will never completely eradicate all traces of pride and selfish tendencies. But to those who do what they can, the Holy Spirit comes with an added gift, the Gift of Piety, which erases the last traces of ill-feeling toward others, and softens the hardness of heart that stands in the way of His action in the soul.

True Christian meekness, then, requires concern and effort to discipline all forms of pride and self-love that give rise to resentment and anger, to calm the first feelings of anger when they arise, and the indispensable help of the infused virtues and gifts to be sought with fervent and persevering prayer. The help we ask from the Holy Spirit is expressed in the sequence of the Mass for Pentecost: "Come, Holy Spirit, bend the stubborn mind, warm the chilled heart, guide the steps that go astray."… Meekness is especially important for progress in prayer, for one agitated with feelings of anger and resentment cannot sincerely apply himself to recollection and conversation with God, nor be open to the inspirations of the Holy Spirit.

Each of the Christian virtues relies on the help of other virtues for its perfect fulfillment. This is true of meekness. We have seen how meekness cannot get along without humility, which keeps pride in check, for the main source of anger is hurt pride and frustrated self-will. Too, meekness leans heavily on the virtue of fortitude in its passive aspect of bearing wrongs patiently. And it needs the Gift of Piety that brings a filial reverence of the Father in heaven and an awareness of His permissive will in all things. …

Because of the inclinations of our fallen nature, we are usually inclined to avenge every offense and to resist every adversary. Such is the spirit of the world, but not the spirit of Christ. In time of adversity, meekness inclines not to revenge, but to gentleness and patience, to pardon personal insults; and in trials allowed by God's providence — to patience and resignation. It helps us to endure difficulties that we encounter in those of different tastes and dispositions. It is an indispensable aid to charity in bearing wrongs patiently and avoiding bitterness when misunderstood or undervalued. It saves one from answering back quickly with wounding words, that afterwards one wishes had never been said. In a word, it enables one to endure affronts and injuries in a spirit of mildness dictated by reason enlightened by faith.

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A prayer to overcome anger:

Heavenly Father, I ask You to examine my heart for there is a well of anger and resentment deep within my soul, and I keep drawing on that bitter water rather than drinking daily of the waters of life that flow into a heart that is looking to Jesus. 

Examine my heart Lord and root out all the bitterness and resentment that is so deeply rooted within me. Search the inner depth of my soul and expose all my suppressed hurt and resentment for it is only in You that I can be set free of the pain deep within. Thank You, Father, that You forgave all my sins on the cross, and I believe that You paid the full price all my sins – including all the anger in my heart — anger that still surfaces too frequently from time to time. I pray that in Your grace You will free me from all traces of anger and create in me a heart of love and forgiveness — so that I may grow more and become more like Jesus.

Amen

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The following event is coming next Thursday. Hope to see you there. Don’t forget to invite someone you know:

The definition of a father wound:

From Dr. Richard Fitzgibbons, a Catholic psychiatrist:

While the term ‘father wound’ is not an officially recognized clinical term, it is used by many mental health professionals in identifying the origin of numerous emotional and behavioral conflicts in spouses, singles and children. These difficulties can be the result of failing to have a strong, loving and supportive relationship with a responsible father, or as a result of modeling after and then repeating significant weaknesses of the father, such as selfishness, excessive anger, emotionally distant behaviors or indifference to the faith.

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From Focus on the Family:

We all come into the world helpless, dependent and needing acceptance, to be treated as worthy, and to be blessed. The father wound is the absence of this love from your father. The wound can be caused by:

* Neglect – I am unimportant

* Absence – Divorce, separation, death

* Abuse – Mental, physical, sexual, spiritual

* Control – Oppressive domination

* Withholding – Love, blessings and/or affirmation, deficiencies that lead to a profound lack of self-acceptance.

The effect of a father wound is low self-esteem, a deep emotional pain inside and a performance orientation that makes us "doers" rather than "beings." We tend to have four barriers that inhibit the healing of this wound:

* Pride – No will to confront or change; "I’m alright"

* Sin – A blocked will that neither seeks to confess sin or receive forgiveness

* The wound itself – Continuous emotional hurt inside

* Lies – Misconceptions about the self, birth father and God

Instead of going to the pain and receiving the healing we need, we tend to respond to life events by creating a misconception about our "self."

Relationship to our birth father:

When we hold a conception of our birth father as angry, violent, uncaring, indifferent, distant/withdrawn, absent/abandoning, alcoholic, condemning and/or critical, we tend to believe the following words about ourselves:

* I am unworthy

* I am stupid

* I am incompetent

* I am unloved or unlovable

As long as we accept these words as truth, we will experience depressed, anxious and angry lives.

Relationship to God the Father:

Often a person’s image of God the Father is contaminated by the personal experience he or she has with the birth father. When misconceptions about God are present (i.e., that He is angry, judgmental, unhappy with me, fearsome, legalistic, quick to punish and slow to forgive . . .) the words we tend to believe are:

* I am not good enough

* I am guilty/shameful

* I must work harder to justify myself

As long as we accept these words as truth, we will seek to perform and prove our worth through perfectionism and materialism, or seek addictions to cover up the pain.

Addressing the father wound:

There are four steps to addressing the father wound:

1.     Understanding the heart of God

2.     Inviting Jesus into the wounds created by the birth father

3.     Accepting the truth about one’s self as a child of God

4.     The heart of God

As seen in the prodigal Son story:

* We are free to choose our own path

* The father waits patiently for us to return to Him

* When we return, He accepts us unconditionally

* He runs to accept and embrace us 

* He values us by celebrating God’s provision for salvation

* He loves us first

* We are His beloved creation

* He offers salvation for our sins

* He wants a relationship with us

Jesus as the Wounded Healer:

* He was tempted by Satan to know our temptations

* He experienced suffering to know our suffering

* He was rejected, mocked, beaten and crucified

* He fully understands our pain and wants to help

* 1 Peter 2:24: "By His wounds you have been healed"

Jesus Heals:

* When invited into memories, He offers us love

* When we receive the sacraments, especially the sacrament of reconciliation

When you understand His love:

* Ask for forgiveness for any misconceptions you have had about Him

* Receive His forgiveness

* Receive His love

Invite Jesus into the wounds created by your father

Do inner healing for the memories:

* invite Jesus into the specific memories

* understand the words that you accepted at the time

* ask Jesus to reveal His truth to you

* receive His truth about who you are

Choose to forgive your father:

* for hurtful words

* for hurtful actions

* for not loving you

* for not blessing you

* for affecting your image of God the Father

Accept yourself as a child of God

Receive the words of truth:

* I am accepted

* I am loved

* I am God’s creation

* I am precious in His sight

* I have been redeemed by the Risen Lord, who is our savior

* I will never be left or forsaken

* I have an eternal inheritance

* Nothing can separate me from the love of God

As you understand the truth about God’s love and come to know your true self in Christ, it will free you to let go of the pain and forgive your birth father. This new perspective created in you will now enable you to see your father through different eyes and allow you to live in freedom.

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From the Bible:

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the spirit of sonship that enables us to cry, 'Abba! Father!' (Romans 8:15). 

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From Father Richard Rohr, a Franciscan friar:

Saints are people who are whole. They trust their masculine soul because they have met the Father. He taught them about anger, passion, power and clarity. He told them to go all the way through and pay the price for it. He shared with them …. His own decisive Word, His own illuminating Spirit. They are comfortable knowing, and they are comfortable not knowing. They can care and not care without guilt. They can act without success because they have named their fear of failure. … The [male] saints are invincible. They are men!

There are many reasons, I’m sure, why a healthy masculine spirituality has taken so long to emerge. The state needed conformists and unfeeling warriors to go about its business, and holy Mother Church seemed to want children more than bridegrooms. But I am convinced there is a more fundamental reason why men … have failed to love and trust their masculine energy. It is this: The vast majority of people in Western civilization suffer from what I call a father wound. Those who have this father wound have never been touched by their human father. Either he had no time, no freedom, or no need, but the result is children who have no masculine energy. They will lack self-confidence, and the ability to do, to carry through, to trust themselves – because they were never trusted by him.

If there is one very good reason for God to reveal Himself as the Father of Jesus, it is because that is where most people are unfeeling, unbelieving and unwhole. With Philip the Apostle, we all join in, “Lord, show us the Father, and we will be satisfied” (John 14:8). Without facing, feeling and restoring this wound, I am sure that most people will continue to live lives of pseudo-masculinity: business and bravado as usual, dishonest power instead of honest powerlessness. And the sons and daughters of the next generation will repeat the sad process – unfathered.

Is there a way out? There is. But only for “men” – that is, for… men who will act. There is no way to masculinity. Masculinity is the way. So, name the wound. Feel and weep over the wound. That is strength, not weakness. Seek the face of the Father. That is action and journey, not passivity. Own and take full responsibility for your life and behavior. Don’t blame, sit in shame, or wait for warm feelings or miracles.

Act as if.

Do it. Go with it. Risk it.

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St. Gregory of Nyssa once said:

Sin happens whenever we refuse to keep growing.

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Prayer for a father who was difficult:

God of Love, I come before you to pray for my father. You know how much he suffered, and You alone fully know how much was wounded and broken in him. I feel so sad, and at times I feel so angry, so cheated, because I couldn't have a good relationship with him. I don't want to spend the rest of my life resenting my father, so I turn to You to hold him up to you. I know you are a God of mercy. Forgive him and heal him. Please let that forgiveness touch my heart as well. I want to forgive him and know the peace of letting go of those hurts — or at least the peace of not letting them continue to hurt me. I pray for him because I want what is best for him. I want him to know you and to know your love for him. One day, in Your loving embrace, may all the wounds in his heart, and mine, be healed.

Amen.

Don’t forget to share this newsletter with other men whom you think will benefit from it. Also, don’t forget to come to the Catholic Man Night at Our Lady of Mercy in Aurora on May 23:

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The main topic of this issue is how do we deal with stress and anxiety? Will working harder help? No. Will drinking more help? No. Will worrying help? No. Will getting angry help? No. Here are a couple of quotes that will help:

The following was written by the late Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen:

All our anxieties relate to time. A human being is the only time-conscious creature. Humans alone can bring the past to mind, so that it weighs on the present moment with its accumulated heritage; and they can also bring the future into the present, so as to imagine its occurrences as happening now. No animal ever says: “I have suffered this pain for six years, and it will last until I die.” But because a human being can unite the past to the present by memory, and the future to the present by imagination, it is often necessary to distract him in his sufferings — to break up the continuity of misery. All unhappiness (when there is no immediate cause for sorrow) comes from excessive concentration on the past or from extreme preoccupation with the future. The major problems of psychiatry revolve around an analysis of the despair, pessimism, melancholy, and complexes that are the inheritances of what has been or with the fears, anxieties, and worries that are the imaginings of what will be…

[A] remedy for the ills that come to us from thinking about time is what might be called the sanctification of the moment — or the Now. Our Lord laid down the rule for us in these words: “So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today” (Matthew 6:34). This means that each day has its own trials; we are not to borrow troubles from tomorrow, because that day too will have its cross. We are to leave the past to divine mercy and to trust the future, whatever its trials, to God’s loving providence. Each minute of life has its peculiar duty — regardless of the appearance that minute may take. The Now-moment is the moment of salvation. Each complaint against it is a defeat; each act of resignation to it is a victory.

From Fr. Andrew Apostoli, a founding member of the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal:

Perhaps we can sum up the balance of time in our lives with its aspects of past, present and future in a saying I once came across on a poster. God was speaking, and these were His words: “Do not focus on the past; My Name is not ‘I WAS.’ Do not focus on the future; My Name is not ‘I WILL BE.’ Live in the present moment, for My Name is ‘I AM.’ ”

The following is a prayer by St. Ignatius of Loyola:

O, Christ Jesus,When all is darknessAnd we feel our weakness and helplessness,Give us the sense of Your Presence,Your Love and Your Strength.Help us to have perfect trustIn Your protecting loveAnd strengthening power,So that nothing may frighten or worry us,For, living close to You,We shall see Your Hand,Your Purpose, Your Will through all things.

Amen.

In the meantime, with Divine Mercy Sunday coming up on April 28, I thought it would be appropriate to share a little bit about the topic of mercy.

Here is an excerpt from a sermon by St. Caesarius of Arles, the Bishop of Arles in France who died in the year 543:

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy. My brothers and sisters, sweet is the thought of mercy, but even more so is mercy itself. It is what all men hope for, but unfortunately not what all men deserve. For while all men wish to receive it, only a few are willing to give it. How can a man ask for himself what he refuses to give to another? If he expects to receive any mercy in heaven, he should give mercy on earth.

Do we all deserve to receive mercy? Let us make mercy our patroness now, and she will free us in the world to come. Yes, there is mercy in heaven, but the road to it is paved with our merciful acts on earth…. There is, therefore, an earthly as well as a heavenly mercy; that is to say, a human and divine mercy. Human mercy has compassion on the miseries of the poor. Divine mercy grants forgiveness of sins. Whatever human mercy bestows here on earth, divine mercy will return to us in our homeland.

In this life, God feels cold and hunger in all who are stricken with poverty; for remember, He once said: “What you have done to the least of my brothers you have done to me.” Yes, God who sees fit to give His mercy in heaven wishes it to be a reality here on earth.

What kind of people are we? When God gives, we wish to receive, but when He begs, we refuse to give…. What do you wish for? What do you pray for, my dear brothers and sisters, when you come to church? Is it mercy? How can it be anything else? Show mercy then, while you are on earth, and mercy will be shown to you in heaven.

A poor person asks you for something; you ask God for something. He begs for a morsel of food; you beg for eternal life. Give to the beggar so that you may merit to receive from Christ.

The following was written by the late Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen:

Our Lord has made mercy the very soul of His Church. I think that is the reason why He chose as the head of His Church, not the innocent, the pure, not the virgin disciple John, but the impetuous, strong man called Peter—the one who had denied Him and cursed and swore that he knew not the Man…. And so he who knew by experience the mercy and forgiveness of our Lord was chosen the head of the Church so that the Church might forever practice mercy and kindness.

There is every reason in the world for mercy. There is some good in the worst of us, and there is some bad in the best of us. The good are those who try to find some good in others, and they generally do find it. The evil are those who look for the faults of others, and as a result never see their own…. If on the last day we would receive a merciful judgment, we must begin here on earth to be merciful to others…. By constantly thinking of ourselves, we render ourselves incapable of receiving the kindness of others. Only to the extent that we have emptied ourselves of ourselves can God fill us with Himself.

The late Bishop Robert Morlino once said this about mercy in an interview:

First having been shown mercy, I am now chosen to be a minister of mercy, to be a leader of mercy. So men should look upon themselves as dispensers of mercy and for them to be who they are as dispensers of mercy requires that they are fervent about going to confession to receive it because you can’t give what you don’t have. And then the humility also that comes from going to confession is the key to all the other virtues. Humility empowers obedience. Humility empowers joy in my own life because I don’t have to be something that I am not. When pride takes over someone’s life, they are trying to be someone they are not – not intended by God. Humility enables the man to accept himself or herself for what he is, [including his] strengths and weaknesses, and then to operate as a leader in the family out of that humility, to give the example of humility to his wife and his children.

If you want to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet, the following video will be of great help:

Whenever there is silence around me

By day or by night —

I am startled by a cry.

It came down from the cross —

The first time I heard it,

I went out and searched —

And found a man in the throes of crucifixion

And I said, “I will take you down.”

And I tried to take the nails out of His feet.

But He said, “Let them be,

For I cannot be taken down

Until every man, every woman, and every child

Come together to take me down.”

And I said, “But I cannot bear your cry.

What can I do?”

And He said, “Go about the world —

Tell every one that you meet —

That there is a man on the cross.”

The following was written by the the late Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen, who is on the path to be canonized as a saint one day:

Love is the soul of sac­rifice. Everything in nature testifies to this: the deer that fights for her fawn, the bird that toils for her nestlings, the spider that would die rather than drop her bag of eggs: all these know that love is not worth calling love unless it can dare and suffer for the one it loves.

That, too, is why I believe that we always speak of arrows and darts of love — something that wounds. The day that man forgets that love is identical with sacrifice, he will ask how a God of love could demand mortification and self-denial. As a matter of fact, the most intense human sufferings and the bitterest arrows of out­rageous fortune become softened and sometimes sweetened when they are borne in love for another.

A mother keeps vigil by the bedside of her fever-stricken child; neighbors call it sacrifice, but she calls it love. The hero rushes into lapping tongues of fire to res­cue his friend; onlookers call it sacrifice, but he calls it love. The lover gives to his beloved a ring, not of tin or straw, but of dia­monds and platinum; acquaintances call it sacrifice, but he calls it love.

And finally, our blessed Lord empties Himself of His heav­enly glory, puts on the cloak of mortality, and goes down to the horrible red death of a crucifixion; we call it sacrifice, but He calls it love: “Greater love than this no man hath: that he lay down his life for his friends.”

Hence, whenever and wherever there is an intense and pas­sionate love of Christ and Him crucified, sacrifice involved in crushing anything that keeps one away from Him is not felt as pain but the sweetest kind of love, for what is pain but sacrifice without love? The saint does not view sacrifice as an executioner with a sword who will take away his life, but as a yoke that is sweet and a burden that is light. The devout do not hate life because life hates them or because they have drunk of its dregs and found them bit­ter, but because they love God more, and in loving God more, they dislike anything that would tear Him away.

Oh, could the world but realize that the love of Christ crucified so possesses thousands and tens of thousands of souls that they would rather lose all the world and the riches thereof than one second of intimacy with Him at the foot of the Cross! Could it but sense the passionless passion and wild tranquility with which such souls each morning rush to Communion to enjoy intimate union with their changeless and understanding Friend, Jesus in the Eu­charist! Could it but dimly guess how these Christ-loving hearts rejoice in carrying a cross, in order that, by sharing in His death, they might also share in His Resurrection!

Sacrifice for them is not a loss, but an exchange; not a suffer­ing, but a dedication; not a foregoing of the enjoyable, but a con­version of passing pleasures into an eternal and unchangeable joy. Sacrifice for them is not pain, but love.

Their only pain, in fact, is their inability to do more for their Beloved. Like ships, which never know the full joy and the great glory for which they are made until they are unmoored from port and given over to the high seas and strong winds, so neither do souls know the full joy of their life until they, too, are unmoored from the port of all worldly attachments and, following the words of our blessed Lord: “Launch out into the deep.”

Like coals, conscious of their own blackness, they cast themselves into the fire of sacrifice, there to become Christlike in flaming brilliance. Like the logs of the forest, these souls, once in the consuming fire of the love of the Cross, sing their song, for the log sings its song only in the fires that consume.

Possessed with the desire to be like their Christ, none of them will come down from the Calvary of this world with hands unscarred and white. They are like other Sauls made Pauls by their intense love of the Savior, and there floats up like burning incense from their fiery hearts the following words:

“Who, then, shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulations? Or distress? Or famine? Or na­kedness? Or danger? Or persecution? Or the sword? I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor power, nor things present, nor things to come, nor might, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

HAPPY EASTER!

As usual, I like to share some quotes to inspire. Here are several. The first one is from Archbishop Charles Chaput, who summarized the rules of knighthood written more than 500 years ago by Erasmus of Rotterdam in his book, The Manual of a Christian Knight:

1) Deepen and increase your faith.

2) Act on your faith; make it a living witness to others.

3) Analyze and understand your fears; don’t be ruled by them.

4) Make Jesus Christ the only guide and the only goal of your life.

5) Turn away from material things; don’t be owned by them.

6) Train your mind to distinguish the true nature of good and evil.

7) Never let any failure or setback turn you away from God.

8) Face temptation guided by God, not by worry or excuses.

9) Always be ready for attacks from those who fear the Gospel and resent the good.

10) Always be prepared for temptation. And do what you can to avoid it.

11) Be alert to two special dangers: moral cowardice and personal pride.

12) Face your weaknesses and turn them into strengths.

13) Treat each battle as if it were your last.

14) A life of virtue has no room for vice; the little vices we tolerate become the most deadly.

15) Every important decision has alternatives; think them through clearly and honestly in the light of what’s right.

16) Never, ever give up or give in on any matter of moral substance.

17) Always have a plan of action. Battles are often won or lost before they begin.

18) Always think through, in advance, the consequences of your choices and actions.

19) Do nothing — in public or private — that the people you love would not hold in esteem.

20) Virtue is its own reward; it needs no applause.

21) Life is demanding and brief; make it count.

22) Admit and repent your wrongs, never lose hope, encourage your brothers, and then begin again.

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From C.S. Lewis:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket—safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable. “

From the Gospel of Matthew (16:24-28):

“If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it. And who ever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man, if he gains the whole world and forfeits his life? For the Son of Man is to come with His angels in the glory of His Father, and then He will repay every man for what he has done. Truly, I say to you, there are some standing here who will not taste death before they see the Son of man coming in His kingdom.”

Here’s a short prayer to St. Joseph, a model of fatherhood, to inspire us:

Saint Joseph, look I am tired tonight,But somehow I think that you care;For being a father and one who worksAre things that both of us share.

It tires a man, yet the heart is high,For, Patron Saint, it’s all worthwhile.Its rich reward is a life full of loveAnd joyous light in a child’s smile.

O, father, worker, bear with me,Help me, Saint Joseph, to do my best,To love and protect my family‘Til work shall cease and heaven is rest.

Amen

Finally, here are some wise tips from Peter Kreeft, a theologian, on how to raise Catholic children:

+ Treat them as what they are. They’re the King’s kids. You’re His foster parents. They’re not pets, or problems, or products. You don’t “raise” kids, you raise cattle. Love the hell out of them. Love them twice as much every day as you did the day before.

+ Be Catholic yourself; you can’t give what you don’t have. Believe it, love it, live it. Don’t be ashamed of it, or worried about it. Actively assume it, like the air you breathe, so you don’t have to either push it, like a time share salesperson, or be skittery and worried about it, like someone accused in court. It’s not a product any more than your kids are. It’s truth and goodness and beauty. It’s a Person. His name is Jesus. If you don’t know Him, you don’t know the Faith and you can’t pass it on.

+ So get to know Him better. How? Pray more, and more honestly and passionately. For them and for yourself. God waits to give us good things until we pray for them.

+ Pray WITH them: at meals, at bedtime when they’re very young, and at special occasions, especially great joys and sorrows. When they’re young, give them short prayers to say every day.

+ The one thing parents always wonder about is: how strict and how permissive should we be? The answer varies in practice but not in principle. The principle is obvious: treat them like kids, not like infants OR adults, not like devils OR angels – OR animals. The basic principle of all practice is to treat everything and everyone as what they really are. To do that, you have to look at them, listen to them, and feel what they feel. You don’t read a book on parenting and then apply it, like a car repair manual. They’re not cars, and they’re not broken; they’re just slow and sinful and stupid, like you.

+ Assume high standards. Kids respond to that: to honor, to do the right thing just because it’s the right thing, and to actively refuse to do the wrong thing just because it’s the wrong thing, not because there will be rewards and punishments that YOU attach. Truth comes first, you and they come second.

+ Cultivate good Catholic friends for them and for yourself. Peer pressure is very strong for teenagers.

+ Talk to them about your faith as passionately as you talk to them about your favorite baseball team. Even if they show a little embarrassment at the time, they’ll remember and respect it later. Words are like seeds. They may not grow instantly, but once they’re in the ground, that’s what they do.

+ The main problem everybody has with the faith today is sex. Be both realistic and idealistic about that. Learn the Church’s Theology of the Body so you can talk to them from the Big Picture. The single most important principle in talking to your kids about sex is to be totally honest with them and with God at the same time.

+ Do what Mary did in the Presentation of Jesus in the Temple: put them in God’s hands.

To listen to the podcast — only 4 minutes long — please click above. It has tips on prayer by Fr. Steven Borello, the diocesan director of vocations. He will be giving a Parish Mission at Ss. Peter and Paul in Naperville on prayer from April 1-3. See photo below for more information.

A primary aspect of this newsletter will be a couple of short inspirational/spiritual quotes that are aimed to giving you food for thought during the week.

“My little children, your hearts, are small, but prayer stretches them and makes them capable of loving God. Through prayer we receive a foretaste of heaven and something of paradise comes down upon us. Prayer never leaves us without sweetness. It is honey that flows into the souls and makes all things sweet. When we pray properly, sorrows disappear like snow before the sun.”-- Saint John Vianney'We must speak to God as a friend speaks to his friend, servant to his master; now asking some favor, now acknowledging our faults, and communicating to Him all that concerns us, our thoughts, our fears, our projects, our desires, and in all things seeking His counsel.” -- St. Ignatius of Loyola

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