<![CDATA[Inside Voice]]>
insidevoicescarlett.substack.com]]>https://insidevoicescarlett.substack.com/podcastSubstackWed, 29 Jul 2026 12:44:30 GMThttps://api.substack.com/feed/podcast/7855932.rssDV Survivor- ScarlettTwenty journals, and stories detailing my journey through domestic violence, inside and out. Posts on Tuesday/Wednesday Feb-AprlepisodicDV Survivor- Scarlettinsidevoicescarlett@substack.comYes<![CDATA[Love, A Die- Hard Johnny Depp Fan]]>I am a die hard Johnny Depp fan, and in 2021, that led me to some pretty aweful online hate towards the real survivor, Amber Heard. Her voice should have been listened to. I hope people start to listen to her now.



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit insidevoicescarlett.substack.com]]>https://insidevoicescarlett.substack.com/p/love-a-die-hard-johnny-depp-fan-f4dsubstack:post:194991135Wed, 22 Apr 2026 14:00:00 GMTScarlettNo5332<![CDATA[Outside Voice Story 10.0]]>Outside voice tells the story of my first few months being back home in Seattle, after Oliver was placed on house arrest and issued a no contact order, restricting him from coming within 1,000 feet of me. I wish I could say the dust had settled at that point, but with regular court proceedings, triggers, family ramifications, friend ramifications, and seriously, let's not forget the PTSD, left me in a state of active trauma for more months than I would like to admit. However even in this state, I was growing, healing, and learning to accept and meet the woman I was meant to become. This is the story of my own hope; hope that one day, I will become strong enough to move past all of this, reclaim my own life outside of the violence, and empower myself to take agency of my own choices again. This is my promise of hope that one day, I will find my outside voice.



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit insidevoicescarlett.substack.com]]>https://insidevoicescarlett.substack.com/p/outside-voice-story-100substack:post:189965278Tue, 21 Apr 2026 14:00:00 GMTScarlettNo1922<![CDATA[Battlefield Journal 9.7]]>Battlefield is the fictional journal telling the story of Cat. Cat recently fled the glory of the highest level of her nation, level three. She remained now, safely in the grey desolate world of level one. Level one was for single women, unbound and unrestrained to a soldier man. Level two was for women who were partnered with soldiers but not yet married. Level three was for married wives, united in resources and strength with their very own soldier. In this world, soldiers were given the more dangerous jobs, entitling them to three lives. Women only had one, making them a defenseless target for the soldier husband who may become predator, harming the very wife he vowed to protect. Cat's level three husband, left wounds on her heart that would never stop bleeding. In an existence plagued by PTSD and self-doubt, Cat struggles to find purpose and meaning in her fragile life, but beyond the desolation of the battlefield, Cat finds light in the melodies of other survivors tales, once lost but never silenced.



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit insidevoicescarlett.substack.com]]>https://insidevoicescarlett.substack.com/p/battlefield-journal-97substack:post:189964740Wed, 15 Apr 2026 14:00:00 GMTScarlettNo1528<![CDATA[The Purgatory of Sanctuary Story 9.0]]>The Purgatory of Sanctuary is the true story of how I fled to Denver Colorado, to hide out with my dear cousin, Lizzy, after the terrible night I had just survived. Holed up in a downtown Seattle hotel, with my three pets, Ned convinced me to get out of town while the police continued to search for Oliver, who had fled the scene of the crime the night before. I agreed and made the cross-country journey, but the trauma was far from over. In domestic abuse situations, the trauma rarely ends immediately after the violence. Active trauma is a stage not an event for survivors, a truth I learned the hard way. Is there any other?



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit insidevoicescarlett.substack.com]]>https://insidevoicescarlett.substack.com/p/the-purgatory-of-sanctuary-storysubstack:post:189964304Tue, 14 Apr 2026 14:59:00 GMTScarlettNo3045<![CDATA[The Blue Notebook Journal 8.7]]>The Blue Notebook- In this journal entry, we venture back to my childhood, to discover the roots of my history with abuse. My father had bought me a blue marble notebook for my first real school spelling class in the fifth grade. I had been homeschooled up until this point and had a hard time fitting in with the other kids, but this notebook made me feel special, it's unique azure, drawing me into fantasies of sparkling waters and lands undiscovered. The joy I found in my notebook was shattered the next day, when a classmate stole my perfect notebook and replaced it with his own boring standard notebook. In a strange but wonderful twist of fate, the boy apologized to me for stealing my prized possession, and somehow Matthew became very first very best friend. By the sixth grade, he became the confidant who would be the first person in my life to ever tell me I was being abused. He still doesn't know it, but I believe his kindness and validation, ended up saving my life at the young age of eleven.



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit insidevoicescarlett.substack.com]]>https://insidevoicescarlett.substack.com/p/the-blue-notebook-journal-87substack:post:189963539Wed, 08 Apr 2026 14:00:00 GMTScarlettNo1728<![CDATA[Run Like A Girl Story 8.0 ]]>Run Like A Girl is the first story of part four, "Are We There Yet", and the true tale of how I almost lost my life to domestic partner violence. The breakup had been mostly peaceful for me, but Oliver continued to spiral into an absolutely shocking mental health and substance abuse crisis. As I tried to keep Oliver safe, I forgot about my own security. I forgot to head the words Leslie Morgan had told me; the words that haunted me so...."The final step in the domestic violence pattern is kill her. Over 70% of domestic violence murders occur after the victim has ended the relationship, because then the abuser has nothing left to lose". January 2nd was the worst night of my life, but July 9th was the most life altering. July 9th was almost the last night of my life as Oliver pressed the cold hard metal of his handgun into the right side of my stomach, loaded with a single hollow point bullet promised for me.



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit insidevoicescarlett.substack.com]]>https://insidevoicescarlett.substack.com/p/run-like-a-girl-story-80substack:post:189962501Tue, 07 Apr 2026 14:00:00 GMTScarlettNo3997<![CDATA[Preta, Tortured Scorned Demons Journal 7.7]]>Preta, Tortured, Scorned Demons is a fictional journal, whose title spells out PTSD. In this journal, we follow Tara as she makes the life changing move, to the magical, stunning, and mostly peaceful island of Gaya. The only warning about this magical place, Tara received, was that she needs to put up a good strong fence, to keep the hungry ghostly creatures, Preta away. Without those boundaries in place, her home becomes susceptible to an infestation, trapping the preta within the villa walls. The creature punches jagged claws through the baseboards of the house, fills the air with choking smoke, and tortures every sense of Tara's being, without ever showing itself to her in its full entirety. She must make the brutal decision, to flee or fight. But which will she choose?



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit insidevoicescarlett.substack.com]]>https://insidevoicescarlett.substack.com/p/preta-tortured-scorned-demons-journalsubstack:post:189961840Wed, 01 Apr 2026 14:00:00 GMTScarlettNo4593<![CDATA[The Night Story 7.0]]>The Night finally tells the real story of what happened on the night of January 2nd, 2025. This was the most traumatic night of my life. Oliver had been in a rage since Christmas Eve, and I had been holed up in the bedroom while he slept on the couch. On the morning of January 2nd, Oliver’s car window was broken into, and that event cause him to snap into the darkest rampage I had ever seen. The truly remarkable thing is that after twelve straight hours of him throwing and breaking my things, screaming horrible words inches from my face, depriving me of sleep, and crushing my soul with terror, he never once actually hit me. This is the night that broke me. This was the night I knew I was in a domestic violence situation. But what could I say? Who would believe me? And just when I thought, things couldn’t get any worse, I google domestic violence for the first time, as I was hiding from Oliver that night. As I shook in terror, the face of Leslie Morgan appeared on my screen in her viral TedTalk clip summarizing the dangers and challenges of domestic violence. The words I heard from her mouth that night, have haunted me to this very day. And though I had survived the night, my world became muted in black and white.



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit insidevoicescarlett.substack.com]]>https://insidevoicescarlett.substack.com/p/the-night-story-70substack:post:189961026Tue, 31 Mar 2026 14:00:00 GMTScarlettNo3377<![CDATA[People Pleased to Death Journal 6.7]]>People Pleased to Death tells the brutal story of Monica's life. We meet Monica as she sits vacant eyed towards the blank white wall of her cell on death row. As she reflected on her journey, she couldn't believe she was here.

The perfect daughter of a wealthy albeit abusive father, Monica was destined for a perfect life, with a perfect husband, and a perfect family.

Monica's world quickly sours following her wedding, as Jack, her perfect husband begins to reveal his dark and abusive nature. The abuse spirals into unthinkable violence, leaving Monica to hold the blame for every way the world had failed her. As the most hated woman in America, Monica looks forward to her death and the sweet release. It is only her sister Keenie who can see Monica's true light. A light that was always too bright for this cruel world.



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit insidevoicescarlett.substack.com]]>https://insidevoicescarlett.substack.com/p/people-pleased-to-death-journal-67substack:post:189960175Wed, 25 Mar 2026 14:00:00 GMTScarlettNo2881<![CDATA[Fake Sick Story 6.0- The Podcast]]>Fake Sick- This is the real-life story of the continued tumult and escalation between me and Oliver. I was happy living in Ballard, with Oliver, but I was plagued with guilt over the alienation, I was feeling from my sober friend group. Oliver had never liked those girls, and was convinced, my sadness was simply weakness. During this tense time, my work was at the height of its financial season, and I didn't notice how sick I was becoming. I didn't notice how sick Oliver was becoming too, as his drinking had escalated just a little. As the hellfire in my throat began to swell, and burn, I began to worry. However, the first male doctor I spoke too, and Oliver tried to convince me I was crazy, that I was stressing myself out and I wasn't really sick. A few nights later, a visit to the emergency and the aid of a woman of color doctor with far more perspective and empathy, would finally shed light on the truth and reality of my pain. As she saved my life, Oliver remained cold and distant towards me. Eventually I sent him home, left undergo a painful procedure all on my own, after a sleepless and terrifying night. The doctors ended up healing my body, but the pain I continued to carry in my soul was breaking me.



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit insidevoicescarlett.substack.com]]>https://insidevoicescarlett.substack.com/p/fake-sick-story-60substack:post:189959508Tue, 24 Mar 2026 20:27:15 GMTScarlettNo2886<![CDATA[Sandcastle Journal 5.7]]>Sandcastle is the fictional journal of a young single woman in search of love. When she finds the man who makes her heart sing, she is slightly taken aback, when she learns he is only capable of providing her with sand to build their home together, the most fragile of building materials. She worried, her home would be susceptible to the dangers of shifting tides, and violent storms, but she was in love. She was the type of girl who would do anything for love, just as her mother had taught her. So, she kept her sandcastle standing. However, she would have no idea the price she would pay to maintain her delicate love.



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit insidevoicescarlett.substack.com]]>https://insidevoicescarlett.substack.com/p/sandcastle-journal-57substack:post:189958822Wed, 18 Mar 2026 14:00:00 GMTScarlettNo994<![CDATA[The Coldest Summer Story- 5.0]]>The Coldest Summer is the story about the first time I noticed that Oliver's behavior had escalated from grouchy, to verbally abusive. During this same time, Oliver began drinking again, only a few, never getting drunk, and so I tried to brush it off. However, my therapist, Athena would call it coercive control, physical intimidation, and domestic violence. I found solace and reprieve in my friends, however the burden of my being in a domestic violence relationship held pressure down on all of our connections. Eventually that pressure turned to wounds, that turned to scars.



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit insidevoicescarlett.substack.com]]>https://insidevoicescarlett.substack.com/p/the-coldest-summer-story-50substack:post:189958167Tue, 17 Mar 2026 14:00:00 GMTScarlettNo2376<![CDATA[Magic Closet Journal 4.7]]>Magic Closet- In this fictional journal, we explore the wrought filled world of a young boy in the early 90's, as he races home from the beach where he was collecting seashells. He had lost track of time, and now he was going to be late. The dread he felt as he peddled his little legs as hard as he could to get home, was only superseded by the torment his mother, and step-father would inflict on him. Though he led a cold, shattered and difficult life, the boy had one reprieve, a magical fairy princess, who would appear in the dark corner of his closet. The boy loved his princess, and how she soothed him, played with him, and made him feel seen. He wished he could go live with her instead of his own parents. The boy also knew there was a monster hurting his princess, back in the lands of the closet, he was never allowed to enter. Someday the boy dreamed of getting big and strong to beat up the princesses' monster, and then maybe she would be his mother instead. But the princess warned the boy of trying to vanquish other people's monsters. It is only when we conquer the monsters of our own world, that the world will have fewer monsters.



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit insidevoicescarlett.substack.com]]>https://insidevoicescarlett.substack.com/p/magic-closet-journal-47substack:post:189957391Wed, 11 Mar 2026 14:00:00 GMTScarlettNo1772<![CDATA[And The Love Bomb's Red Glare Story 4.0 ]]>And The Love Bomb's Red Glare- This is the true story of how I met Oliver, back in January of 2021. At this time, I was the one suffering from alcoholism, and Oliver was eight years sober when we met. Oliver and I quickly broke up that first time we dated, but the experience left an impression on me that threw me into the wild world of sobriety, and an era of absolute joy and magic. I always credited Oliver with my newfound experiences, and I always wondered about him, wishing I could thank him for the mirror his sobriety held to my boozing. Two years later, fate struck, and I couldn't have imagined the story that would unfold.



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit insidevoicescarlett.substack.com]]>https://insidevoicescarlett.substack.com/p/and-the-love-bombs-red-glare-storysubstack:post:189955922Tue, 10 Mar 2026 14:00:00 GMTScarlettNo2355<![CDATA[The Cherry Blossom & The Willow Tree- Journal 3.7]]>The Cherry Blossom & The Willow Tree is a journal about Haruka, the matron personified Cherry Blossom of the 2,000 trees that were shipped from Japan to Washington D.C. in the early 1900s. Haruka is determined to bring the joy of Japan's Hanami to the United States, but to her dismay, the Americans are cruel and critical of her, and punish her in ways that plunge Haruka into deep despair. Far away from home, and completely distraught, Haruka made it through, with the help of her friend Maeve, the wise and loving, Willow Tree. Together through the power of female friendship and divine feminine energy, both trees flourish across the Tidal Basin. And while it took many years, DC's Cherry Blossom Festival now attracts millions of people from across the globe to experience the fireworks of pearlescent lace petals drifting down like rose colored snow along the sidewalks of the nation's capital. In my mind, I like to believe there was a real hero's journey for the Washington DC Cherry Blossoms. In the real history books, those Cherry Blossoms were indeed saved by women time and time again.



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit insidevoicescarlett.substack.com]]>https://insidevoicescarlett.substack.com/p/the-cherry-blossom-and-the-willow-63csubstack:post:189945682Thu, 05 Mar 2026 02:29:35 GMTScarlettNo1871<![CDATA[Anywhere But Home Story-3.0 ]]>Story 3.0- Anywhere But Home- After returning home from Bali, I thought Oliver and I were really going to make it. But then he slept on the couch that first night we got back, and just never came back to bed. I didn't understand why he was so angry with me, so I confronted him about the violence, leading to our break-up. It was a difficult and dark time, but I was able to get through it with the help of my therapist, my friends, and even myself. Breaking the silence was absolutely terrifying, so terrifying in fact, that I didn't even slightly anticipate the love, support, and strength I would receive in return for my bravery. It was the best karmic gift, I have ever been given.



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit insidevoicescarlett.substack.com]]>https://insidevoicescarlett.substack.com/p/anywhere-but-home-story-30substack:post:189944930Thu, 05 Mar 2026 02:17:40 GMTScarlettNo2197<![CDATA[The Goodest Girl- Part One- White Knuckling- Journal 2.7]]>The Goodest Girl is the story of Cordelia and her two sister's harrowing rescue from a brutal dog fighting house. Cordelia, the 'bad girl' at first seems to be the worst off at the pound, but valiantly proves the whole world wrong, though the only world she cares about is the one she shares with the human she cares for, John. Her 'bad girl' nature, is simply a disguise for the true hero of this story, her unwavering boundaries filled with the pure love only a canine companion could possess. #boundariesarebeautiful #mansbestfriend #puppystory #femineenergy #kinglear #othello #princessdianaforever #goodgirl



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit insidevoicescarlett.substack.com]]>https://insidevoicescarlett.substack.com/p/the-goodest-girl-part-one-white-knuckling-bcbbaa65fe3-2308-4080-a720-f87bac9dac9fWed, 25 Feb 2026 15:00:00 GMTScarlettNo2448<![CDATA[Gentle Beasts - Part One- White Knuckling- Story 2.0]]>True Story- Oliver and I venture off to Bali, in an attempt to find our love again. However, triggers linger, emotions explode, and paradise is not what it seems when he loses his temper, and I confess a dangerous secret. #domesticviolenceawareness #verbalabuse #insidevoicescarlett



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit insidevoicescarlett.substack.com]]>https://insidevoicescarlett.substack.com/p/gentle-beasts-part-one-white-knuckling-0ac9a89d716-a7ff-4cf6-8636-0906275f980eTue, 24 Feb 2026 15:00:00 GMTScarlettNo3043<![CDATA[Part One- White Knuckling- "A Plank In Reason Broke" - Journal 1.7]]>(A tribute to Emily Dickinson's "I Felt a Funeral in My Brian") This journal tells a metaphorical story of Emily Dickinson's famous poem to illustrate the feeling of hopelessness and depression in a world that often feels black and white.



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit insidevoicescarlett.substack.com]]>https://insidevoicescarlett.substack.com/p/part-one-white-knuckling-a-plank-f1acaf5039e-b367-461a-871f-9d7cb65c6ae7Tue, 17 Feb 2026 15:00:01 GMTScarlettNo700<![CDATA[Part One-White Knuckling- Story 1.0 C'Mon Baby Blow]]>Grappling with the effects of PTSD, my inside voice is fractured into pieces, and this story details how I navigated through that world of grey depression and uncertainty.



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit insidevoicescarlett.substack.com]]>https://insidevoicescarlett.substack.com/p/part-one-white-knuckling-story-10-2ca7688d2a9-e9bd-4717-8260-3cb66520c5e4Tue, 17 Feb 2026 15:00:00 GMTScarlettNo1693<![CDATA[Inside Voice - Introduction]]>This is my domestic violence story and my desperate attempt to be heard. 10 Real life stories paired with 10 mostly fictional journals released weekly on Tuesdays & Thursdays.



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit insidevoicescarlett.substack.com]]>https://insidevoicescarlett.substack.com/p/inside-voice-introduction-1eb02186dff-94e7-4fc9-8f4a-bc2c9c1becefSat, 14 Feb 2026 00:33:58 GMTScarlettNo148