NOT Episode NINE is where the energy shifts — because the finish line is visible and something clicks. Excitement isn't a nice-to-have in creative work. It's the whole engine. Without it, why bother?

Derrick reflects on the times he's forced himself through boring, uninspiring creative work because he thought he had to — and decides, definitively, that his own passion project doesn't get that treatment. This one gets built with excitement or it doesn't get built at all.

In this not-episode:

• What it feels like to be one episode away from actually doing the thing
• Why excitement is a non-negotiable ingredient in creation — not a luxury
• The myth that serious creative work has to feel like a grind
• A new framework: drop episodes in batches of 10, on no particular schedule

One more to go. This might actually be a thing.

This Is NOT a PODCAST! is hosted by not-your-host Derrick Yanford — meditation teacher, coach, choreographer, author, and recovering perfectionist. New not-episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe on Substack at substack.com/@dureeko

NOT Episode EIGHT picks up right where the technical hiccup of Episode SEVEN left off — and turns it into a philosophy. Leave it. Don't reshoot. Don't apologize. If you missed it, you missed it.

Derrick shares a story from his days as Artistic Director of a pre-professional dance company in New York City, where he made a decision that changed how he showed up on camera forever: be exactly who you are in the room, whether the cameras are rolling or not.

He's bringing that same energy here.

In this not-episode:

• Why the long pause stays in — and what that decision really means
• The plan: publish all 10 episodes unedited, all at once, before the intensive starts
• A story from directing a dance company and deciding never to reshoot a scene
• Why "messy, not clean" is actually the whole point

100% real. Not going to be different. Not going to pretend. Not going to apologize.

This Is NOT a PODCAST! is hosted by not-your-host Derrick Yanford — meditation teacher, coach, choreographer, author, and recovering perfectionist. New not-episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe on Substack at substack.com/@dureeko

NOT Episode SEVEN is the most unexpectedly philosophical episode yet — and it starts with coffee. Two espresso machines: one automated, one a hand pump. One you walk away from, one you pour yourself into. And somewhere in that comparison, something real emerges about creativity, energy, and what it means to actually show up for your work.

Also: Face ID nearly ends the episode early. It does not succeed.

In this not-episode:

• An honest review of the travel espresso machine (spoiler: she's fine)
• Why the hand pump pulls a better shot — and what that has to do with creating
• The difference between automated and intentional — and why it matters
• What happens when your phone demands Face ID mid-recording

Espresso. Metaphors. Zero apologies.

This Is NOT a PODCAST! is hosted by not-your-host Derrick Yanford — meditation teacher, coach, choreographer, author, and recovering perfectionist. New not-episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe on Substack at substack.com/@dureeko

NOT Episode SIX starts with a beeping espresso machine behind a closed bathroom door — and becomes one of the most honest episodes in the series. Derrick traces a lifelong pattern of getting all the way to the edge of something and then stopping. Not because he couldn't. Because he convinced himself it wasn't good enough.

There was the dance scholarship. The studio. The camera. Everything ready — and then he walked away.

He's not walking away this time.

In this not-episode:

• Why he shut the bathroom door to hide the espresso machine — and what that reveals
• How childhood patterns show up in adult creative blocks without us even knowing
• The dance scholarship he was this close to — and why he scrapped it
• Why this podcast exists at 3:54am on May 5th, 2025

The most personal episode yet. And the most necessary.

This Is NOT a PODCAST! is hosted by not-your-host Derrick Yanford — meditation teacher, coach, choreographer, author, and recovering perfectionist. New not-episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe on Substack at substack.com/@dureeko

NOT Episode FIVE hits the midpoint of this creative experiment — and it turns out the secret to getting here was embarrassingly simple: remove the obstacles and just start. A $10 TikTok Shop microphone clipped to a phone. No fancy setup. No system. No overthinking.

Derrick wrote his first book — start to finish, published and for sale — in 48 hours. That book was called Just Get Published. This is that same energy, just in a different medium.

In this not-episode:

• Why simplicity is the actual strategy
• The $10 microphone that made five episodes possible
• How his first book went from idea to published in 48 hours — and what that has to do with this
• Why you don't need a system right now. You just need to create.

Halfway to ten. Coffee incoming. Still going.

This Is NOT a PODCAST! is hosted by not-your-host Derrick Yanford — meditation teacher, coach, choreographer, author, and recovering perfectionist. New not-episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe on Substack at substack.com/@dureeko

NOT Episode FOUR captures something most creators never say out loud — the moment perfectionism walks in mid-creation. The ring tapping the phone. The urge to edit. The voice that says is this good enough?

Derrick names it in real time. And something interesting happens: the moment he names it, it starts to fade.

In this not-episode:

• What happens when perfectionism shows up 10 minutes into a creative session
• Why naming your inner critic out loud is enough to defuse it
• The part of your brain that's trying to protect you — and why you don't have to listen to it
• Why a two-minute episode is just as valid as any other

Short. Honest. And proof that keeping on is always the move.

This Is NOT a PODCAST! is hosted by not-your-host Derrick Yanford — meditation teacher, coach, choreographer, author, and recovering perfectionist. New not-episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe on Substack at substack.com/@dureeko

NOT Episode THREE is a dare — to the listener and to himself. If this isn't for you, turn it off. No hard feelings. And if it is? Welcome.

This one gets into something real: what it actually feels like to exist unapologetically, without code-switching, without performing, without shrinking into whatever shape someone else needs you to be. Plus — Derrick issues himself a challenge: record all the way to NOT Episode TEN without listening back to a single one.

In this not-episode:

• The freedom of truly not caring if you turn it off
• What "unapologetically me" actually feels like as a lived experience
• The unglamorous, normal, sometimes boring parts of life — and the beauty inside them
• Why he's committing to zero editing, zero listening back, zero second-guessing

Raw. Unfiltered. Created and released — just to see what happens.

This Is NOT a PODCAST! is hosted by not-your-host Derrick Yanford — meditation teacher, coach, choreographer, author, and recovering perfectionist. New not-episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe on Substack at substack.com/@dureeko

NOT Episode TWO is where the experiment starts to reveal itself. No espresso yet. No agenda. Just an honest conversation about what it means to stop performing and start being.

As Derrick approaches his 50th birthday, one thing becomes undeniably clear: there's no more time to be anyone other than exactly who he is. Raw, unedited, and unapologetically real — this is what freedom sounds like in practice.

In this not-episode:

• Why the format gets to change from episode to episode — and why that's the whole point
• The difference between performing and being, and why one gets exhausting
• What turning 50 has to do with finally choosing freedom
• Why unpolished, unfiltered, and uncut is actually the preference

Three minutes. Long pauses included. No apologies.

This Is NOT a PODCAST! is hosted by not-your-host Derrick Yanford — meditation teacher, coach, choreographer, author, and recovering perfectionist. New not-episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe on Substack at substack.com/@dureeko

NOT Episode ONE is where it all begins — recorded at 3:30am in a Santa Fe hotel room, the night before a coaching intensive with mentor Rich Litvin, on a travel espresso machine and zero sleep. No agenda. No topics. No rules.

Just one creator deciding that "not good enough" is no longer a good enough reason to stay quiet.

This is an experiment. A passion project. A rebellion against perfectionism dressed up as a podcast — except it's not. It's whatever it wants to be. And that's exactly the point.

In this not-episode:

• Why calling it "NOT a podcast" is the only way it could exist
• The fear of failure that almost kept this from happening
• What it means to create something selfishly — for yourself first
• Why 3:30am in Santa Fe with an espresso machine is the perfect origin story

Five minutes. No rules. Just pure authenticity. Welcome to what is definitely NOT a podcast.

This Is NOT a PODCAST! is hosted by not-your-host Derrick Yanford — meditation teacher, coach, choreographer, author, and recovering perfectionist. New not-episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe on Substack at substack.com/@dureeko