Hi August listeners!

Another wonderful story of life’s challenges as a woman and mother - menopause - this month from Karen, in Kent, in the UK.

I love recording with my guest right next to me and I was fortunate enough to have Karen here to do this.

She is a regular reflexology and massage client of mine and swears these therapies also help her feel less stressed as a carer, locally.

We spoke of her symptoms and her looking back to realise she probably started struggling from around age 43.

Her HRT journey so far has not been particularly life-changing and she’s changed the strength of her patches twice in the last year.

What Karen has found joy with, is a few natural minerals and oils such as magnesium and rosemary oil as well as a miracle sell-out cream she discovered via Holistic Practitioner, Dr Barbara O’ Neill.

She sprays a magnesium oil on her feet and since using this new cream this week she has slept three days in a row, waking up feeling like a new person.

She advocates for pushing your own agenda with your health professionals till you feel like you’ve found your balance and feel on top of all the niggles that come with being menopausal.

Credit: Music: https://www.purple-planet.com

July’s podcast guest, Melissa, joins us from Cape Town, South Africa.

Melissa shares that after becoming a grandmother, her periods suddenly stopped, at the young age of 43. Her menses never returned and she started to feel the mental effects of feeling out of touch with her body.

Her symptoms of up to 50 hot flashes a day and severe insomnia often left her feeling unwell.

Melissa tried HRT but struggled with the bloating and so didn’t continue the tablets. She was also prescribed sleeping tablets but this did more long-term damage than good so went cold turkey with both of those.

She also struggles with a thyroid issue which complicates knowing what is a menopause symptom and what is not.

She has tried various herbal supplements and reports that they provided some sort of short-term comfort but nothing she can swear by, except for, perhaps, a daily beer!

Her advice for any menopausal woman is to get fresh air, eat well and try exercise. She also recommends a great Facebook group; The Private Menopause Room.

You can also register for the bi-weekly newsletter at staceyblack.substack.com if you would like to support this podcast, participate as a guest or receive more stories through the journey that is motherhood.

Thank you!

Credit: Music: https://www.purple-planet.com

Happy Summer Solstice listeners!

This new series of Menopause Mamas includes our first guest, Sharon from Somerset, UK.

Sharon has had such an incredible life journey, it would’ve been a joy to share all her wonderful stories we recorded together but alas, we tried hard to focus on the menopausal times!

Sharon started her menopause journey quite late into her 50s and feels that being on the Mirena IUD since her 40s may have contributed to her ‘getting off lightly’.

We discuss her symptoms of irrationality and getting annoyed with her husband (whom she still loves dearly!) and also, the possibility that being in flight mode for so long after caring for her two disabled children contributed to the short experience of menopausal moods.

You can hear how full of fond memories Sharon is and how she dotes on the special motherly moments her two children blessed her with.

Sharon’s children passed at age 22 and 17 and perhaps she found her menopause journey easy because she’d already been equipped with so much strength from within, knowing one day she would lose both of them.

It was an absolute pleasure listening to her, and thankful for the reminders we, as mothers, as females, as deeply hormonal beings, often need to hear:

Do what you can little by little, ask for help without shame, find real friends and look after YOU.

Sharon says she dealt with her menopause by writing therapeutically, changing her dietary needs, enjoying hydrotherapy, getting grounded, and meditating as much as possible. Sounds holistically healthy to me!

Credit: Music: https://www.purple-planet.com

In this month’s episode, we hear from Abbi, from Essex in the UK. She has one son, who was aged 5 at the time of the separation, 18 months ago.

Abbi talks very openly on the thing that destroyed her 10-year marriage: alcohol addiction. Not her addiction; her husband’s at the time.

Looking back she realises the drinking issues were actually there from early on, but it wasn’t all the way until Covid that they fully came to light.

It was whilst her ex was in rehab that she realised she didn’t want him back.

Just guess how many black bags of empty beer cans Abbi eventually found in the loft after a clear-out? It’s mind blowing!

Abbi had steered the household financially for as long as she can remember but this came at a severe cost when it got down to the nitty-gritty of the divorce agreement.

Abbi does 50/50 co-parenting with her now-sober ex-husband, as she was fortunate enough for him to always be involved with their son and want to be present as a father, so they are friendly and amicable toward each other.

She has been in a wonderful relationship for the past year which took her by surprise, but like many others, she says she will never marry again, in order to personally, protect her assets financially. Who can blame her?!

Credit: Music: https://www.purple-planet.com

Today’s podcast guest, Neé from Surrey in the UK, sure has overcome some challenges since deciding divorce was the best way forward for her in 2014.

Neé had to slowly move back via two countries with her only son, then aged 6, in order to get settled again in the UK in 2015. She found herself and her son camping in an empty house with the bare minimum but found the courage to build their new lives up, from that moment on.

Neé gives super advice for when things get heavy - “you can either sink or swim!” Love it!

She had the psychological support of her loving father and agrees that having any support is invaluable through such a tough time. Her father kept her calm, on the right path and focused on the outcome.

Physically, her body reacted during the divorce with signs and symptoms of severe anxiety and IBS and reiterates that no mama should be embarrassed about asking for help while struggling physically, mentally or emotionally.

Neé further invested in her wellbeing with exercising and highly recommends kickboxing for any mother with pent up frustrations!

After her divorce, Neé found a job with a pharmacy and thankfully they were flexible enough around her being a single mother with a young one. She was also lucky enough to have her school mom friends support her a lot at the time.

She briefly discusses the co-parenting situation between her son and her ex husband and also touches on the complications that may arise from having a court order.

Neé now enjoys her single mama freedom and it was an absolute pleasure talking to her so positively and sharing her very inspiring story of how she made the painful decision, followed through and overcame the thing nobody ever expects from being married; divorce.

Credit: Music: https://www.purple-planet.com

Welcome to the first episode of a new series and the first podcast for 2023!

This is the 1 year anniversary of The Stretch.Tea.Talk Podcast and the message within this podcast are very fitting for the milestone achieved: keep pushing forward and things will get easier, better, and more manageable.

Kelly from Kent, the UK, joins me to discuss her divorce journey and shares some heavy moments and how she keeps finding herself in between her mothering two young boys.

She has been dealing with the ins and outs of her divorce for the past four years and is only now feeling like she is finally a little more stable on her own.

She reminds us of the value of keeping single and female friendships alive whilst married and that it’s not always best to only hang around other married people, for those will be divided upon divorce.

Kelly is very inspiring with her no bs attitude and confidence. She concludes that other women should leave unhappy marriages sooner rather than later - as she learned the hard way.

Credit: Music: https://www.purple-planet.com

In this final podcast of 2022, I share updates from some of the wonderful and brave mamas that participated in sharing their motherhood journeys this year.

Listen to what's changed for mama Chell, Zoe, Stacey, Gemma and Christeen since doing the interview as well as what they loved this year and hope for next year!

Al the best for a peaceful ending to 2022 and see you in March 2023 again.

Thanks for listening!

Stacey

Music credit: purpleplanetmusic.youtube

*Please note: This final episode of 2022 has been recorded without any of my usual technical software available due to unforeseen circumstances, so I apologise in advance for the sound inequalities. I take pride in editing my monthly podcasts and plan to scale it up next year, so please keep listening!

In this final interview episode for 2022, I speak to a dear friend Jerene, from the Eastern Cape, South Africa.

Jerene’s motherhood journey started off intensely after her firstborn son, Cyle, was diagnosed with blood cancer - Acute Myeloid Leukemia - at the tender age of 15 months. Cyle passed the following year, just short of reaching his 2nd birthday.

The huge loss of a firstborn sent Jerene on a very difficult grief journey, which she admits, has never really ended.

Jerene spoke very openly of wanting to die after losing Cyle but also about realizing how much her son had to suffer, with no easy way out of his pain. Jerene fought back at the dark holes of emptiness and kept herself going by thinking of how she could continue to make her life work in order to honor her son.

Jerene became a mother to two girls later on, and they celebrate Cyle each year together. She says her grief is still hidden within, whilst she maintains her new role of motherhood for her girls to the best of her ability.

Her story is full of strength, sadness, and sympathy, not just for her children but for everyone, and her beautiful energy shines through!

Credit: "Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/Hope and Inspire"

In this second episode of the Grieving Mama Series, I speak to Zoe, also from Kent, UK.

I first heard of Zoe after a close friend had to suddenly change nursery schools for her son, due to an incident at the same nursery Zoe’s son, Oliver, attended in Ashford, Kent. The incident tragically involved nine-month-old Oli and unfortunately, that’s what’s brought us together for this episode.

Zoe touches on the overwhelming rollercoaster that is her grief by sharing that fateful day’s events, as well as those sudden final days with her nine-month-old, last September. Alongside finding memorable ways to cope whilst awaiting the inquest into the tragedy, she’s sparking childcare change nationwide, with her husband, Lewis.

The unnecessary death of Oliver made national news headlines and there is still time to show your support in signing the petition created by Oli’s parents.

Zoe made this uneasy conversation comfortable by being honest and open about her motherhood journey so far. She reminds us that there really is no shame in being vulnerable and asking for help!

I feel grateful to have had the opportunity to highlight this grieving mama’s difficult story and I hope this helps anybody else struggling with baby loss, child bereavement, or general grief to know that there’s no time limit to your recovery.

Thank you for listening, sharing, and supporting!

Music credit: Purple Planet/Hope and Inspire

In this first episode of the Grieving Mama Series, I speak to Christeen, with that beautiful Southern accent of hers, over in Georgia, USA.

Christeen and I met when I stopped my travel plans to help her find her missing son, Beau, 32 in Guatemala, Central America, in 2016. (Beau and I had met in 2015 and spent 6 months on/off traveling and living together until our paths headed in other directions.)

Yet the impact of knowing, loving, and losing Beau in such a short space of time, had a tremendous effect on my life after we discovered he was murdered. Imagine the impact on the wonderful mama that raised, cherished, and loved her only child for 32 years on Earth!

Beau was a brilliant humanitarian, a social butterfly so sensitively woven with intricate intelligence, a mind beyond many. There’s so much we could’ve shared but this episode was about Christeen and her journey with her very heavy grief, six years on.

Thank you for listening, sharing, and subscribing!

Music credit: Purple Planet/Hope and Inspire

In this third and final episode of the S.E.N Mama Series, I interview Tracey from Kent, UK.

Tracey is the mighty strong mama behind Zack, age 13, who has Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) with a Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) profile, Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), and Tourette’s Syndrome.

Tracey first noticed a few difficulties when Zack was a baby but being a first-time mama wasn’t sure of her concerns.

Zack became a very chatty toddler who could keep eye contact and was described as ‘polite and pleasant’ by the time he started primary school, but Tracey already had a few worries by then and yet, was still dismissed by every teacher she confided in.

Tracey started to notice severe behaviors of frustration at home but instead of being supported by the school, was sent six (SIX!) ‘early help’ referrals, which basically were a slap in the face to her motherly instincts.

During our talk, Tracey very carefully explain Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), something rarely heard of yet an exceptionally common condition in the neurodivergent world.

But she was quick to point out that this is not part of the criteria used or recognized within the commonly used DSM-5 (Diagnostics and Statistics Manual) for diagnosing modern mental disorders.

This talk was heavy to digest regarding the current reality regarding schools fronting a struggling child, how the NHS doesn’t have the necessary SEN support in place nor the funds locally, and how Tracey has spent over £3000 privately to get any proper diagnoses.

Because of Zack’s conditions, Tracey is unable to find suitable SEN childcare and therefore has to take jobs that fit in around school hours only.

Her best and most reliant support is her own mother, but even this will unfortunately soon change due to health issues.

Tracey is one loving mama, and I’m so glad I got to hear and share just a fraction of what motherhood has been like for her with an S.E.N child, so far.

Subscribe for more posts and podcasts, share if you like, or become a paid member and gain access to our everyday mama magic.

Credit: Music: https://www.purple-planet.com

In this second episode of the S.E.N Mama Series, I interview Gemma from Auckland, New Zealand.

Gemma is a friend who moved to NZ along with her then almost two-year-old, Thomas in 2015, from the UK.

With 12 hours time difference between us, we managed to have a lovely confabulation about Thomas’s diagnosis of ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) and what it has meant to her.

Gemma wasn’t worried much about Thomas’s progression as a toddler until the Head Mistress of the kindergarten demanded she took him for tests.

Gemma’s understanding of her son and his neurodivergence has helped her understand herself and any past behaviours and given her the right tools to stay attentive and parent well, moving forwards.

She’s passionate about providing the right support to Thomas and encourages any mother out there to further educate themselves through groups and friendships, rather than rely on general practitioners for the most uncommon information.

I absolutely love the Maori word for autism “Takiwãtanga”: in my/his/her own time and space! (And yes, I made a tit of myself referring to a dictionary but I’m old school, ha!)

It’s been wonderful to learn more about just how diverse and fascinating autism is.

I hope you enjoy Gemma’s story too!

Thank you,

Stacey.

Subscribe for more posts and podcasts, share if you like, or become a paid member and gain access to our everyday mama magic.

Credit: Music: https://www.purple-planet.com

In this first episode of the S.E.N Mama Series, I interview Chell from Kent, UK.

Chell and I met on a park bench in 2019 when our little ones were still chubby.

The following year Chell was concerned for her son’s wellbeing and spent most of 2020 struggling to get the right help and support she needed, during the worldwide pandemic.

Finally, a year later, Henry was diagnosed with autism and Chell immediately took it in her to become that one-step-ahead and intuitive mother, always cautious and alert to the surroundings for the sake of Henry’s happiness. It’s an honour to watch!

She is enthusiastic about the future after a few setbacks that came with the Covid crisis, and some nursery school issues but finally has more time for herself and feels her own mental health has improved with more self-focus too.

Chell shares some great advice for other mothers who may be concerned about their children, whilst trying to learn as much as she can to improve her understanding of her own son better.

Although she announced some pregnancy news in the second half, sadly, I had to add at the end that since this recording she had lost the baby. She remains positive to try again!

I hope you enjoy hearing Chell’s story and can share it with somebody special too.

Thank you,

Stacey.

Subscribe for more posts and podcasts, share if you like, support and become a paid member or mail for suggestions.

Credit: Music: https://www.purple-planet.com

Stacey, a single mama, living in Kent in the UK, interviews herself this month.

She has quite a deep chat to help you understand her complicated yet fulfilling parenting journey so far. She’s been a mama on a creative mission!

Along with the sense of losing her identity and freedom upon entering motherhood mostly alone (with a newborn aged two weeks old), there were the demanding mental adjustments that followed too.

Stacey talks openly about mental health and traumatic experiences that helped her get to where she is now and how much she believes in Stretch.Tea.Talk helping others.

Stacey discusses the hardships of a long-distant relationship that lead to the eventual break-up with the father of their child, after a four-year commitment to each other.

She speaks about the difficulties surrounding self-employment as well as being the sole carer when her daughter is ill. Trying to bounce back after every illness they get, takes almost a week sometimes so keeping mentally strong and sane is key!

She fully believes in everything happening through threads of universal connections and discusses looking back at how the rewarding dots of life join up, sometimes as a result of incredible pain and suffering.

Stacey enjoys not taking life too seriously and often uses CBT to manage her sometimes tired-overthinking-mama-mind.

She is certified and accredited in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and is happy to work with anyone interested.

So put your kettle on, sit back and enjoy the final magical mama story from the Single Mama Series. And please consider subscribing to show your support!

Jolene, from Jo’burg, South Africa, joins me to discuss how and why she chose to have her first and only child through adoption.

Jolene fondly shares her journey and the delightful outcome of becoming a mom for Remi, who was seven months old, when they were matched together.

Jolene never once felt criticized for being a single mother willing to adopt, and actually received tremendous support from her agency and others.

Being an interracial family, Jolene often gets asked whether Remi was adopted when out and about, while Remi herself has also noticed their different skin tone. Jolene’s response is very thoughtful and honest.

Jolene lost her own mother to cancer in her early 30s and we reflect on the feeling of stepping into those memorable motherhood shoes.

Remi is now a bubbly, busy, and spicy four-year-old character full of fun and endless love for her amazing mama, naturally. I definitely can’t wait to meet her someday!

So, please put your kettle on, sit back and enjoy the latest magical mama story from the Single Mama Stories series.

Kim, from Kent in the UK, joins me to discuss her vibrant single life with two children, whilst managing chronic pain from rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, and lupus.

Kim is also in therapy for her mental health after leaving a financially abusive relationship three years ago, someone compared to The Tinder Swindler. Scary!

We discuss the issues of raising healthy toddlers through a pandemic and the effect of lockdowns on their little immunes.

Kim manages to be active in her community and reduces food waste, recycles goods, and passes forward a lot with kindness.

Kim enjoys socializing and dancing and also sounds like quite the queen-brownie-baker, definitely somebody I can be friends with, winkity-winks.

If you’re a single mama and would like to participate in this series of brief perspectives into your life over a podcast chat or know of one that might, please help us connect.

Thank you,

Stacey B.

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