You know, that is when it all started.

They tell me it was great.

What an opening line.

Best beginning of a book ever, if you ask me.

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.

He did.

He did it all, as they say.

Made the earth and the heavens we see up above.

The stars and galaxies.

Wondrous stuff.

One of the smartest creations of God ever.

Then God said, let there be light.

And there was light.

He just turned the sun on like turning on a light, flipping a light switch.

What a guy.

What a guy.

And the earth was without form and void.

A freakin’ wasteland.

And darkness was on the face of the deep.

I guess that means the oceans, the great oceans of the earth.

OK, what does it say next?

And the spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.

See, I knew it because I am a smart guy.

One of God’s chosen few.

Believe me, I am smart.

And God saw the light that it was good, and God divided the light from the darkness.

Amazing.

God called the light day and the darkness he called night.

You know, I got to give him credit.

That is something I would have done.

We think alike, me and God.

We’re like two peas in a pod.

Trump and God, two peas in a pod.

That has a certain ring to it, doesn’t it?

So the evening and the morning were the first day.

That is day one.

And, you know, God became a dictator on day one.

We’ll get into that later.

A God after my own heart.

Then God said,

let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters and let it divide the waters

from the waters.

Or in other words,

he made land,

you know,

because you can’t just have a bunch of water on earth.

This ain’t water world.