One Broken Mom Hosted by Ameé Quiriconi

How Trauma Blocks Love with Frank Anderson

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 31 Oct 2021 14:00:00 GMT

For some people, loving relationships seem impossible. Our culture has given us many lies about love and intimacy, like the idea that we should be able to find our soulmate or that true love is easy. Unfortunately, many of us also suffer from complex PTSD due to relational trauma and have not seen or been a part of a healthy, secure relationship. So, has your past trauma made you incapable of having a healthy relationship? What if you’ve been abused so severely in childhood or adolescence or adulthood that you wonder if you can trust other people again?

In this podcast episode (final one for Season 4), Ameé speaks with Dr. Frank Anderson, a psychiatrist and brain-based psychotherapist about an innovative way to work with complex PTSD from abuse called Internal Family Systems. This therapy helps heal relational trauma by addressing the parts of yourself who have been hurt and haven’t healed yet. By identifying these parts and listening to their stories, they can begin to let go of old wounds and learn new ways of being in relationships without re-experiencing past traumas.

Resources:
https://www.frankandersonmd.com/

https://catalog.pesi.com/item/transcending-trauma-preorder-80361

Amazon Link: Transcending Trauma: Healing Complex PTSD with Internal Family Systems

Links to buy The Fearless Woman’s Guide to Starting a Business

Amazon (Audio, Print, Kindle Versions): https://amzn.to/3daO7nA

Barnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuide

Bookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshop

Visit https://www.ameequiriconi.com/ for more articles about self-help, healing from trauma, leadership, business, and more!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Are You a Boundary Violator with Audrey Holst

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 24 Oct 2021 13:00:00 GMT

Are you a boundary violator?

If we are not aware of our own boundaries and how we violate them, then it's very easy to be unaware that we're violating other people's boundaries. We may think that what we're doing is helpful or even beneficial for the person whose boundary has been violated but in reality, it can cause more harm than good. In this episode, Ameé talks with professional coach Audrey Holst about raising our self-awareness around whether we unintentionally and regularly violate other people's personal boundaries.

Do we do things because we think we know better? Do we invalidate other people's decisions because we don't understand them? Are we really trying to help others or are still just trying to take away our own discomfort? And if so, why do these things matter anyway - especially when someone else doesn't seem bothered by whatever it is that you've done! In this episode also learn what to do if discover that violating other people’s personal boundaries.

Resources:

https://fortitudeandflow.com/

Links to buy The Fearless Woman’s Guide to Starting a Business

Amazon (Audio, Print, Kindle Versions): https://amzn.to/3daO7nA

Barnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuide

Bookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshop

Visit https://www.ameequiriconi.com/ for more articles about self-help, healing from trauma, leadership, business, and more!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Our Traumas Based on Gender Norms with Michelle Morkert

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 17 Oct 2021 14:00:00 GMT

In this episode, Ameé speaks with Michelle Morkert, a global gender scholar with a Ph.D. in women’s and gender studies and specializations in gender-based violence, militarism, girls' studies, and peace studies. And if you have ever felt like your gender identity is not what society expects it to be, you’re not alone. Michelle has studied the ways that rigid gender norms can cause past and present trauma in our lives. She wants to help people understand how this patriarchal system hurts everyone who is non-conforming to these rules, regardless of how they identify.

Resources:
https://michellemorkert.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/michellemorkert/

Links to buy The Fearless Woman’s Guide to Starting a Business

Amazon (Audio, Print, Kindle Versions): https://amzn.to/3daO7nA

Barnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuide

Bookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshop

Visit https://www.ameequiriconi.com/ for more articles about self-help, healing from trauma, leadership, business, and more!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Breaking Cycles of Childhood Sexual Abuse & Stigma with Dawn Long

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 10 Oct 2021 18:00:00 GMT

Trigger Warning - If are a sexual abuse survivor, this episode may be very triggering.

Are you struggling with how to help your child cope with the abuse they’ve experienced? Have you ever wondered what it would be like if your child was the abuser and not the victim? Dawn Long, an advocate for parents of children who have suffered sexual abuse shares her story on this episode. She talks about her own history of childhood sexual abuse and how her son also went through similar experiences as a small boy when it was discovered he was being abused by a neighborhood child. Unfortunately, as an adult, he was arrested and imprisoned on child pornography charges. This episode discusses the cycle that can occur when one generation is victimized by another, and what changes need to be made in order to prevent this cycle from continuing.

Resources:
www.dawnlongcoach.com
https://www.dawnlongcoach.com/service-page/finding-strength-free-4-week-coaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6AE_PfvuUcHThDseXIMJXA
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4mbHjqbPwHEYQrbbkDZNPC
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourtransformationjourney/
Website: https://www.dawnlongcoach.com
LInkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/dawnlong

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Understanding Our Unconscious Bias with Dr. Tana Session

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 03 Oct 2021 17:00:00 GMT

This week, Ameé speaks with Dr. Tana M. Session, an award-winning international speaker, best-selling author, and Certified Executive-level Performance Strategist. Her core area of practice is in inclusion & diversity in the workplace and within the roots of that are these things are unconscious or implicit biases. And so, she’s here to teach what these are, how to recognize them, and what we can do to change them or at least keep them from affecting our decisions.

Resources:

https://www.tanamsession.com/
https://tanamsession.mykajabi.com/

Buy the Book, Working While Black: A Woman's Guide to Stop Being the Best Kept Secret

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

The Emotional Aspects of Money with Barbara Huson

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 26 Sep 2021 12:00:00 GMT

Are you struggling with money? Do you feel like your life is out of control when it comes to money?

In this episode, Ameé speaks with Barbara Huson, the leading authority on women, wealth, and power as well as the author of the book, Secrets of Six-Figure Women: Surprising Strategies to up Your Earnings and Change Your Life. She’s a financial therapist and wealth coach who talks about the emotional aspects that prevent people from attaining wealth. They discuss how dysfunction and trauma in our history interfere with our abilities today to break free from underearning.

Barbara also shares her own story of growing up with one of the most famous financial experts as her father, and her personal struggles with financial abuse, and how she broke through her own barriers to become financially successful.

Resources

https://www.barbara-huson.com/

Rewire for Wealth: Three Steps Any Woman Can Take to Program Her Brain for Financial Success

Secrets of Six-Figure Women: Surprising Strategies to up Your Earnings and Change Your Life

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Mental Health Made Easy by Texting with Johnny Crowder

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 19 Sep 2021 05:00:00 GMT

In this episode, Ameé speaks with mental health advocate turned entrepreneur, Johnny Crowder.

As a suicide/abuse survivor, Johnny spent his formative years searching for resources to help him cope with his mental health conditions, ranging from OCD and bipolar disorder to schizophrenia.

His firsthand experience with mental illness, university-level education in psychology, and contagious positivity combine to fashion a spirit of advocacy and compassion unlike any other.

Through both music and motivational speaking, Crowder's testimony has impacted millions of lives across the globe by de-mystifying taboo psychological principles and sensitive topics with levity and wit.

Today, he is the founder of Cope Notes, a subscription-based texting service that helps people re-train their brains to interrupt their negative thinking patterns. In this episode, Ameé and Johnny talk about his journey as well as the science behind why Cope Notes works to change people’s lives.

Listeners to One Broken Mom get 10% off their subscription to Cope Notes. Use this link to check it out. Or go to https://copenotes.com/ and use the code ONEBROKENMOM

Listen to Johnny's band, Prison on Spotify

Learn more about One Broken Mom as well as Ameé's coaching and consulting services for businesses, entrepreneurs & organizations by heading to https://www.ameequiriconi.com/consulting-and-coaching

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Healing the Mother Wound with Kerri Hummingbird

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 12 Sep 2021 13:00:00 GMT

In this interview, Ameé speaks with author and podcaster Kerri Hummingbird. Kerri is a Soul Guide and the #1 internationally best-selling author of The Second Wave: Transcending the Human Drama. She inspires people to lead their lives wide awake with authenticity, passion, and purpose that positively impacts others. Her latest published this year is called Love Is Fierce: Healing the Mother Wound.

In this episode, she shares her journey and how you can heal your mother wound so that you can have a happy relationship with yourself and others in your life too!

Resources:

https://kerrihummingbird.com/

https://kerrihummingbird.com/play

Links to buy The Fearless Woman’s Guide to Starting a Business

Amazon (Audio, Print, Kindle Versions): https://amzn.to/3daO7nA

Barnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuide

Bookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshop

Visit https://www.ameequiriconi.com/ for more articles about self-help, healing from trauma, leadership, business, and more!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Overcoming Perfectionism with Audrey Holst

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 05 Sep 2021 13:00:00 GMT

Have you ever felt like your life is out of control?

Do you feel like you’re never good enough? Like everything in your life is just one big mess that needs to be fixed? If so, Audrey Holst can help. She’s the founder of Fortitude & Flow® Process and she works with groups and individuals to overcome perfectionism. And now she has a new book coming out called You’re Not Perfect — And Here’s How to Deal With That. It will teach you how to stop trying so hard, let go of the pressure, and start living a happier life today.

This isn't about being perfect or getting it right all the time - it's about learning how not to beat yourself up when things don't work out as planned! In this interview, Audrey will share her story on overcoming perfectionism and what inspired her to write this book for people who are struggling with their own self-imposed expectations. Plus we'll talk about why letting go of these expectations can lead us towards greater happiness in our lives! So tune into this podcast interview where Audrey shares her story on overcoming perfectionism and learn more about what inspired her upcoming book!

Resources:

https://fortitudeandflow.com/

Links to buy The Fearless Woman’s Guide to Starting a Business

Amazon (Audio, Print, Kindle Versions): https://amzn.to/3daO7nA

Barnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuide

Bookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshop

Visit https://www.ameequiriconi.com/ for more articles about self-help, healing from trauma, leadership, business, and more!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

How to Not Hate Online Dating with Duana Welch

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 29 Aug 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Do you hate online dating?

You’re not alone. In fact, most people do. But what if there was a way to make it fun and even get better results than traditional dating? That’s where today's guest, Duana Welch comes in with her book “Love Factually: 10 Proven Steps from 'I Wish' to 'I Do'” which helps people approach love scientifically so they can find the best possible partner for them. She also has some great advice on how to use online dating effectively without hating it!

Ameé had a chance to interview Duana about this topic and she shares all of her tips and tricks in this episode! If you want to learn more about how science can help you find your perfect match then listen now!

In this episode, you will hear:

Research about intimate relationships
Why people get frustrated with online dating
Is online dating really for everyone
How does attachment styles impact our dating style
What types of people do the best and succeed with online dating
How important it is to stick to your “must haves”
Key characteristics of people with secure attachment styles
How trauma impacts our view of acceptance and love
The importance of positive language in a profile to attract secure people

Resources:
http://lovefactually.co

Links to buy The Fearless Woman’s Guide to Starting a Business

Amazon (Audio, Print, Kindle Versions): https://amzn.to/3daO7nA

Barnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuide

Bookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshop

Visit https://www.ameequiriconi.com/ for more articles about self-help, healing from trauma, leadership, business, and more!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Are You Highly Sensitive, Deep Feeling, or Empathic with Lindsay Hindle

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 22 Aug 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Do you know what it feels like to be highly sensitive?

Highly sensitive people are often misunderstood. They feel things deeply and have a hard time tolerating loud noises, bright lights, or big crowds. But they also have an incredible ability to empathize with others and offer unique perspectives on the world around them. Lindsay Hindle is here today to talk about how she helps her clients understand their sensitivities and find ways of living that work for them.

In this interview you will hear:

What makes someone high sensitivity?
How do we cope with our sensitivities?
How can we live life as highly sensitive people?
What does empathy look like in this context?
What does it mean to be a deep feeler and how is this different from being an empath?
The importance of self-care for HSPs (highly sensitives)

Resources:

https://fivesights.com/

Are You a HSP? Link to quiz >> https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/

Links to buy The Fearless Woman’s Guide to Starting a Business

Amazon (Audio, Print, Kindle Versions): https://amzn.to/3daO7nA

Barnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuide

Bookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshop

Visit https://www.ameequiriconi.com/ for more articles about self-help, healing from trauma, leadership, business, and more!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Healing with God with Erik Allen

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 08 Aug 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Ameé speaks with Erik Allen, an entrepreneur, and podcaster about his trauma healing journey through his Christian faith

In this episode you will hear:

Erik’s background with witnessing domestic violence and parental neglect growing up
How being introduced to a Christian college event changed his life
How shame kept him from sharing his story until he was 39
The role of God, church, and spirituality in his healing journey
Erik’s definition of walking with Christ and what that means as a guide for living a healthy, positive life
Erik’s personal experience with the openness of men sharing their mental health stories
How Erik got into the world of MMA (mixed martial arts) and combat sports and podcasting
Him winning Ed Mylett’s Max Out Challenge in 2018 and spurring his entrepreneurial passions
Erik’s advice for anyone thinking of considering going to church and joining a community there

Resources:

https://www.erikallenmedia.com/

Links to buy The Fearless Woman’s Guide to Starting a Business

Amazon (Audio, Print, Kindle Versions): https://amzn.to/3daO7nA

Barnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuide

Bookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshop

Visit https://www.ameequiriconi.com/ for more articles about self-help, healing from trauma, leadership, business, and more!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Financial Impacts of Divorce on Women with Rhonda Noordyk

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 01 Aug 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Women are disproportionately impacted by divorce when it comes to financial settlements. Many women end up in poverty following a divorce, especially mothers. Ameé speaks with a certified financial advisor and consultant, Rhonda Noordyk, to discusses the impact divorce has on women's finances and how to make better financial decisions when it comes to divorce.

Rhonda's organization, The Women's Financial Wellness Center, helps women gain confidence and protect them from financial vulnerability during the divorce process. Rhonda also had a podcast called Divorce Conversations for Women.

Resources:
https://www.wfwcdivorce.com/

Links to buy The Fearless Woman’s Guide to Starting a Business

Amazon (Audio, Print, Kindle Versions): https://amzn.to/3daO7nA

Barnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuide

Bookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshop

Visit https://www.ameequiriconi.com/ for more articles about self-help, healing from trauma, leadership, business, and more!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Becoming Unstoppable with Dr. Ronda Beaman

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 25 Jul 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Have you ever had a week where everything went wrong? It might have been an awful day or even just one challenging situation. But then the next day, something else happened to knock you down, and before you know it, your whole week has gone by in a spiral of sadness and hopelessness. You feel like nothing is going right for you--like life is out to get you. This may sound familiar to many people who are trying to balance work with their personal lives while also coping with stressors of all kinds on top of that. What if it doesn't need to be this way? That there are ways we can learn from our experiences and find resilience within ourselves so that we become unstoppable no matter what.

In this episode, Dr. Ronda Beaman talks with Ameé about resilience and building it up in ourselves. You'll learn if you are born resilient or not, why we need more of it in the world today, what things can actually reduce your own personal level of resilience even if you already have some built up, and finally best strategies for building strength both inside yourself as well as within others around you.

Resources:
Little Miss Merit Badge

My Feats in These Shoes: A Solely Original Memoir

Links to buy The Fearless Woman’s Guide to Starting a Business

Amazon (Audio, Print, Kindle Versions): https://amzn.to/3daO7nA

Barnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuide

Bookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshop

Visit https://www.ameequiriconi.com/ for more articles about self-help, healing from trauma, leadership, business, and more!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Becoming Assertive with Lara Currie

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 18 Jul 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Do you have difficulty standing up for yourself? If so, this episode of One Broken Mom will be a breath of fresh air. Ameé speaks with Lara Currie, corporate trainer and high-conflict communication expert, about some of the reasons why it can be difficult to feel confident in your own voice. She then offers ways to overcome these obstacles and communicate more confidently in both work and personal situations. You'll learn how to identify the traits that are holding you back from speaking up - like perfectionism, fear of confrontation, or lack of self-awareness - as well as what steps you can take right now to start feeling more confident.

Resources:
https://difficulthappens.com/

Links to buy The Fearless Woman’s Guide to Starting a Business

Amazon (Audio, Print, Kindle Versions): https://amzn.to/3daO7nA

Barnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuide

Bookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshop

Visit https://www.ameequiriconi.com/ for more articles about self-help, healing from trauma, leadership, business, and more!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

The Big Fear with Lindsay Gibson

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 11 Jul 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Ever felt like you are too scared to do something? Or have you ever found yourself unable to enjoy success or good luck because you are expecting the other shoe to drop? You are experiencing a normal reaction to pushing yourself past your normal limits. And if you have experienced or grown up with trauma, or emotionally neglectful and immature parents, it's likely you have even fears of dying or a foreshortened future.

This episode is another conversation with best-selling author and psychologist, Dr. Lindsay Gibson as she and Ameé talk about the Big Fear - the internal protection system to keep us from re-experiencing pain if we try to do something different or in alignment with our true selves.

In this episode, you will hear:

How people who have CPTSD experience beliefs of a foreshortened future or dying early
The family systems and dynamics that are at the root of The Big Fear
Why death is central to our Big Fears
How the Big Fear is connected to self-sabotage
Techniques to help overcome the Big Fear

Resources
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents: Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries and Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy

Self-Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: Honor Your Emotions, Nurture Your Self, and Live with Confidence

Who You Were Meant to Be: A Guide to Rediscovering Your Life's Purpose

Links to buy The Fearless Woman’s Guide to Starting a Business

Amazon (Audio, Print, Kindle Versions): https://amzn.to/3daO7nA

Barnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuide

Bookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshop

Visit https://www.ameequiriconi.com/ for more articles about self-help, healing from trauma, leadership, business, and more!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Careers That Kill with Dr. Margaret Rutherford

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 04 Jul 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Did you know that suicide rates are higher in some industries than other? In this episode, Ameé speaks with therapist and author, Dr. Margaret Rutherford about careers with a high suicide risk rate and how trauma-informed leadership can help reduce these numbers.

In the episode, you will hear:

Which industries have the highest rates of suicide amongst their employees
The role stigmas around mental health and mental health services play
How workplace cultures can be harmful to people who come forward with mental health concerns or issues
The culture in blue collar careers that may be hurting employee mental health
Ideas for bringing mental health resources and awareness to hard-to-reach communities and industries

Resources

CDC study of careers with highest rates of suicide: https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/69/wr/mm6903a1.htm

http://DrMargaretRutherford.com

Order Dr. Margaret's Book Today: Perfectly Hidden Depression

SelfWork Podcast - https://drmargaretrutherford.com/selfwork/

Links to buy The Fearless Woman’s Guide to Starting a Business

Amazon (Audio, Print, Kindle Versions): https://amzn.to/3daO7nA

Barnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuide

Bookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshop

Visit https://www.ameequiriconi.com/ for more articles about self-help, healing from trauma, leadership, business, and more!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

ADHD and Trust with Melissa Orlov

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 27 Jun 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Melissa Orlov, a marriage consultant, a top expert in how ADHD affects relationships, and an award-winning author, returns to speak with Ameé about how trust can be lost and regained in relationships where a partner has ADHD .

In this episode, you will hear:

How trust can affect friendships
The "trust metric" and how it is applied to repairing trust between partners
Why punishments won't work in correcting behaviors in people with ADHD
How emotional dysregulation is more common for people with ADHD and how it gets them in trouble at work
Why criticism is a common tender point for people with ADHD

Resources
https://www.adhdmarriage.com/
The ADHD Effect on Marriage (Available in print and audio)

Links to buy The Fearless Woman’s Guide to Starting a Business

Amazon (Audio, Print, Kindle Versions): https://amzn.to/3daO7nA

Barnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuide

Bookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshop

Visit https://www.ameequiriconi.com/ for more articles about self-help, healing from trauma, leadership, business, and more!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Gaslighting at Work with Dr. Stephanie Sarkis

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 20 Jun 2021 05:00:00 GMT

How many of you out there have ever had to deal with a co-worker or boss who has said things to you that have made you doubt yourself and wonder if you’re not going a little crazy because they are pretty convinced that the “real world” is very different from the one you are seeing or experiencing. For example, are they charming with everyone else, but controlling and demeaning towards you? Or do you have a co-worker constantly taking credit for your hard work? Do you have a boss who never admits their mistakes and puts blame on everyone else around them?

Gaslighting is not only a form of emotional abuse but is also recognized as a form of workplace harassment. It is manipulative, controlling, and can make our work and life experiences intolerable. Also, if you have ever experienced abuse in your life, being around these people can be retraumatizing.

In this episode, Ameé speaks with Dr. Stephanie Sarkis, the author of Gaslighting: Recognize Manipulative and Emotionally Abusive People – and Break Free.

You will hear:

How to recognize the signs of gaslighting
How to protect yourself at work from gaslighters, emotionally and legally
What a company and human resources need to have in place for reporting harassment claims like this
Who is more vulnerable to the inappropriate tactics gaslighters and manipulators use
How gaslighting can trigger past abuse trauma and PTSD
How important work culture is in establishing a true anti-harassment environment
How important hiring is in keeping manipulative and aggressive people out of the company to begin with

Links from this episode:

Gaslighting: Recognize Manipulative and Emotionally Abusive People -- and Break Free

Links to buy The Fearless Woman’s Guide to Starting a Business

Amazon (Audio, Print, Kindle Versions): https://amzn.to/3daO7nA

Barnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuide

Bookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshop

Visit https://www.ameequiriconi.com/ for more articles about self-help, healing from trauma, leadership, business, and more!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Connecting Sobriety and Biology with Gillian Tietz

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 13 Jun 2021 05:00:00 GMT

In this episode, Ameé speaks with fellow podcaster and mental health advocate, Gillian Tietz. Gill is a recovering alcoholic who uses her scientific background to connect neuroscience, psychology, and her personal experience getting sober.

In this episode, you will hear:

Alcohol-focused work cultures
How her alcohol use contributed her developing suicidal thoughts
How she went from an eating disorder to alcoholism
The genetic component behind addiction and the biological rewards some people get from drinking alcohol
Why some people experience hangovers and others don’t
The surprising evolutionary advantage behind being able to process alcohol
How understanding the biology behind addiction can help alleviate shame felt by many who struggled with alcohol addiction
Dispelling the myth that alcohol reduces stress and anxiety from a biological standpoint
How drinking does not help you cope with stress especially if you low distress tolerance
How increasing emotional intelligence is key to prevent relapse
The role of the trauma survivors in advancing mental health awareness

Links from This Episode:

https://www.soberpowered.com/

Links to buy The Fearless Woman’s Guide to Starting a Business

Amazon (Audio, Print, Kindle Versions): https://amzn.to/3daO7nA

Barnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuide

Bookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshop

Visit https://www.ameequiriconi.com/ for more articles about self-help, healing from trauma, and more!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Co-Parenting with a Narcissist with Wendy Behary

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 06 Jun 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Back on One Broken Mom is a listener favorite, Wendy Behary. Wendy is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC and DC. She is also the author of “Disarming the Narcissist…Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed” (New Harbinger Publications). Now translated in 15 languages. Wendy has a specialty in treating narcissists and the people who live with and deal with them.
Based on a listener question, Ameé and Wendy talk about how to co-parent with an abusive, manipulative, or narcissistic parent. In this episode you will hear:

The four steps for handling a narcissistic ex
How dysfunction can impact our learned communication
Understanding the nature of the narcissistic parent
Knowing how to handle when a parent doesn't want to be in the child's life anymore
Knowing how to deal with being gaslit by the narcissistic parent through the children
What to do when worried that the children will adopt the narcissistic parent's worldview

Links from This Episode:

Disarming the Narcissist

Co-Parenting with a Narcissist: https://susanstiffelman.com/narcissist-free-webinar/

Links to buy The Fearless Woman’s Guide to Starting a Business

Amazon (Audio, Print, Kindle Versions): https://amzn.to/3daO7nA

Barnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuide

Bookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshop

Visit https://www.ameequiriconi.com/ for more articles about self-help, healing from trauma, and more!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Toxic Culture & Trauma with Richa Badami

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 30 May 2021 05:00:00 GMT

In this episode, Ameé speaks with Richa Badami, a personal transformation coach, author, and trainer about Richa's personal experience with becoming re-traumatized at work during at sales meeting. The incident surprised her because it happened many years after she had undergone the healing work required due to her experience of being sexually abused as girl by her father. However, at that time, her past was private and certainly out of awareness of her colleagues at her job. And so during a sales meeting, in what was supposed to be a "motivating" comment, a male co-worker used misogynistic language that triggered Richa's deep feelings of shame around her abuse and things were never the same after.

The episode highlights the importance for organizations and leaders to see the need for trauma-informed practices in the workplace.

What you will hear on this episode:

Richa’s experience in the corporate world and the culture of the company she worked at
Even years after events, trauma survivors still feel the impact of the events and can be re-triggered in surprising ways
How insensitive, misogynistic, word choices and microaggressions can be triggers for trauma survivors
How being triggered or re-traumatized can show up in our body through illness
What could have been done at work that could have created better outcomes for Richa and the company’s culture
How Richa and other non-White employees dealt with the constant gender and ethnic-based microaggressions allowed at her workplace

Resources:

https://www.richabadami.com/

Buy the New Book:

Barnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuide
Bookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshop
Amazon- http://bit.ly/FearlessWomanAmazon
Buy it on Audiobook.com

Need Help with Becoming a Trauma Informed Leader or Organization?
Contact Ameé today through her consulting practice website at https://www.activitygirl-llc.com/ or on LinkedIn

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Trauma and Our Health with Veronique Mead

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 23 May 2021 13:00:00 GMT

In this episode, Ameé speaks again with Veronique Mead, a family physician and assistant professor who changed careers looking for a better understanding and more effective tools for working with chronic illness.

On her website www.chronicillnessstudies.com, she has collected and shared the abundance of new research showing how adverse life events increase risk for sensitivity to infections, toxins, and other environmental stressors that increase risk and trigger onset of chronic disease.

Because of the overwhelming effects from the events of 2020, Ameé wanted to revisit the links of health, illnesses, and trauma, with a focus on what can be done to improve outcomes and possibly even heal the psychological wounds that are triggering the physical ailments many people have. Using her own personal experience with rheumatoid arthritis, Ameé shares an update on the progression of her disease and the steps toward controlling and remission.

In this episode you will also hear:

How 2020 may have impacted many people
The effects of trauma on the nervous system
How mental health stigmas in culture and medicine prevented people from considering trauma as a source for their diseases
The arguments against the connection of life experiences to diseases
Effects of historical and systemic racism on health
How diseases like Type-1 Diabetes, asthma, and others may be triggered by trauma in some people
The influence of psychological or emotional neglect in people with chronic illnesses
The relationship of CPTSD with poor health and chronic illness
How certain therapies can help heal some chronic illnesses

Resources & Links
https://chronicillnesstraumastudies.com/

https://chronicillnesstraumastudies.com/11-tools-healing-chronic-illness/

https://www.facebook.com/chronicillnesstraumastudies/

Buy the New Book:
Barnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuide

Bookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshop

Amazon- http://bit.ly/FearlessWomanAmazon

Buy it on Audiobook.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Deciding to Divorce with Dr. Elizabeth Cohen

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 16 May 2021 00:00:00 GMT

Elizabeth Cohen, therapist, repeat guest and author of a new book “Light on the Other Side of Divorce: Discovering the New You” talks with Ameé about deciding that divorce is the best option for a person or couple.

In this episode, you will hear:

How to know if divorce is the right option
How to overcome the shame and guilt that comes from choosing to divorce
What to do when other people try to shame us for our choice
How codependency can impact how long we try to “save the relationship”

Links to Elizabeth & Her Book:

Give Away – Until May 20 – Click here for more info

Afterglow – Online Healing program with group support, private coaching, and online videos for people considering or going through divorce

Buy Light on the Other Side of Divorce on Amazon

Ameé’s Links

www.ameequiriconi.com

Trauma Informed Leadership – www.activitygirl-llc.com

The Fearless Woman’s Guide to Starting a Business: What Every Woman Needs to Know to Be a Courageous, Authentic, and Unstoppable Entrepreneur

Barnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuide
Bookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshop
Amazon- http://bit.ly/FearlessWomanAmazon

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Welcome to Season Four with Ameé Quiriconi

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 09 May 2021 21:00:00 GMT

Welcome back to another season of One Broken Mom! In this episode, Ameé brings everyone up to speed on the last several months and what is in store for the program and for the community in the upcoming year.

Links:
www.ameequiriconi.com
www.activitygirl-llc.com
www.thefearlesswomansguidetobusiness.com

KWU Presentations:
https://youtu.be/lcnX0h_qtlg
https://youtu.be/K0NELi8kWOs

Buy the New Book:
Barnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuide

Bookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshop

Amazon- http://bit.ly/FearlessWomanAmazon

Buy it on Audiobook.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

ADHD and Relationships with Melissa Orlov

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 22 Nov 2020 21:00:00 GMT

In this episode, Ameé speaks with Melissa Orlov is a marriage consultant, a top expert in how ADHD affects relationships, and an award-winning author. She is the author of The ADHD Effect on Marriage, which was awarded "Best Psychological Book of 2010" by ForeWord Reviews. Her latest book, The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD, with Nancie Kohlenberger won three book awards, including best psychology book of 2014.

Melissa has been writing and speaking about the topic since 2007, researching it since 2005. She teaches couples, therapists, counselors, and coaches about how ADHD impacts relationships and offers private counseling to couples who wish to improve their ADHD-impacted relationships. Her very popular couples seminar (by phone) has helped many struggling couples turn their relationships around. Melissa blogs for Psychology Today, at this site, and guest writes for many others.

In this episode, you will hear:

What is ADHD & how is it diagnosed in adults
The surprising ways ADHD affects marriages and relationships
Rebuilding a relationship after ADHD has eroded it
The couple's seminar that is available for help

Resources:
https://www.adhdmarriage.com/
The ADHD Effect on Marriage
The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Why I'm Right and You're Obviously Wrong with Carol Tavris

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 01 Nov 2020 15:00:00 GMT

On this episode, Ameé has an amazing guest on the show. Dr. Carol Tavris's work as a writer, teacher, and lecturer has been devoted to educating the public about psychological science. Her book with Elliot Aronson, "Mistakes Were Made (But Not by ME): Why we justify foolish beliefs, bad decisions, and hurtful acts" (revised edition, 2015, and most recently updated in 2020 with a new chapter--"Dissonance, Democracy, and the Demagogue"), applies cognitive dissonance theory to a wide variety of topics, including politics, conflicts of interest, memory, the criminal justice system, police interrogation, the daycare sex-abuse epidemic, family quarrels, international conflicts, and business.

She speaks to many people on the topics of self-justification; science and pseudoscience in psychology; gender and sexuality; critical thinking; and anger. And on this episode, Ameé and Carol talk about cognitive dissonance, what it is and why we ALL tend to justify our actions, behaviors and beliefs, no matter what anybody tells us.

In this episode, you will hear:

A definition of Dissonance Theory and what it is
The Pyramid of Choice that pushes people further apart over time
Identify our pre-packaged blind spots and biases, in particular naive realism, and privilege
Applying cognitive dissonance theory to all of the events of 2020, including Black Lives Matter, anti-racism, and the US Presidential elections
How we can use social media differently if we know we really aren't going to change other people's minds & in fact, could be making matters worse
How we can become more skeptical and more aware of our biases so that we can be sure we are on the right side of the coin that is truth and dishonesty

Resources:

Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me) Third Edition: Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

How To Get Help Leaving an Abusive Situation

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 25 Oct 2020 21:00:00 GMT

Ameé has been an advocate for raising awareness about domestic violence, in part due to her personal experience with financial and emotional abuse. While it seems help is just a phone call away for people in a domestic violence situation but there is also uncertainty of what happens when you do ask for help from strangers. And as we know from human behavior, we tend to chose the devil we know over the one we don’t. And so when we don’t understand how the resources work, we might be afraid to use them.

That’s why this episode's guest is Ginny Ware, the Home Safe Program Director from New Beginnings – a Seattle area organization with a mission to empower survivors of domestic violence and to raise community aware and actions to end it. Ginny shares how these agencies and talks about what to expect when you contact them for help so that hopefully fewer people will be afraid to use them to help leave an abusive situation.

In this episode, you will hear:

Is there a threshold for when a person may reach out to get help with there situation
What has changed in the service delivery for agencies like this during COVID
Overview of the services available for people in a domestic violence situation
What happens when someone calls the 24-hour helpline
How can people support organizations like this
How can domestic and gender-based violence be eliminated in our communities

Resources

New Beginnings Website 24-hour Help Line: 206.522.9472
National Domestic Violence Hotline 1.800.799.7233
Northwest Justice Project

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Are You A People Pleaser with Liz Earnshaw

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 18 Oct 2020 14:00:00 GMT

In this episode, Ameé speaks with returning guest, Philadelphia based therapist Elizabeth Earnshaw.

Liz has her own practice called A Better Life Therapy and specializes in working with couples around a variety of topics such as relationship issues, infidelity, divorce, intimacy and sexual issues, premarital counseling, and breakups.

Ameé reached out to her to talk about people-pleasing. Having had some personal and professional experiences with people who went out of their way to over-commit themselves, never speak up and say how they really felt, and then watched them spiral into balls of anxiety, stress and depression as a result, Ameé wanted to find out more about why people-please in the first place.

In this episode, you will hear:

The definition of people-pleasing
The opposite of people-pleasing
Common traits and behaviors of people-pleasers
How attachment styles impact our tendencies to say No or Yes to people
The particular dangers for people-pleasers and abusive relationships

Resources:
Liz's Website: https://abetterlifetherapy.com/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

FGM & Violence Against Girls with Maryum Saifee

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 11 Oct 2020 14:00:00 GMT

Recently, the U.S. Department of Justice decided to drop the appeal on a 2018 Detroit ruling that overturned the federal ban on Female Genital Mutilation (FGM).

For girls at risk of FGM, this federal ruling has put them in great jeopardy because it sent a signal to supporters of FGM that the practice is allowed, and the violence against girls, mostly around 7-8 years old in age continues. Therefore, it’s up to the states to outlaw the practice.

What is female genital mutilation? Why is it practiced? How prevalent is it really?

FGM is a human rights issue and is a form of gender-based violence and sexual violence against children. And it does not just happen in “other countries” or specific religions. In fact, according to the Centers for Disease Control, an estimated 513,000 women and girls have undergone or are at risk of FGM in the United States, including girls in families of both Christian and Muslim faiths. Survivors of this horrifying practice rarely come forward due to the taboo nature of the practice and the backlash survivors endure at the hands of their own family and community. The practice is not about religion but about upholding patriarchy and is misogynistic control over women and girls.

On this episode, Ameé speaks with Maryum Saifee, a former U.S. Diplomat, FGM survivor and advocate who is speaking out against the practice of female genital mutilation. And in her words, FGM is simply child sexual assault with a sharp object and conversations need to be had to normalize talking about it so that the practice can be stopped.

Sign the Petition to make Female Genital Mutilation illegal in Washington State:

https://www.change.org/p/washington-state-legislators-female-genital-mutilation-is-an-american-issue-states-need-to-protect-girls-and-ban-fgm

Resources:

Sahiyo: https://sahiyo.com/2020/02/05/voices-series-survivors-are-more-than-their-stories/

US Network to End FGM/C - https://endfgmnetwork.org/

Dahlia Project: http://www.dahliaproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/1924_Female_Genital_Trauma_Report_Web.pdf

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

How It Feels When Your Abuser Dies with Emily Stroia

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 04 Oct 2020 13:00:00 GMT

On this episode, Ameé speaks with Emily Stroia. Emily is a personal mentor for women, meditation teacher, author and speaker. When Ameé first had a chance to speak with Emily, she said something that actually made her skin tingle. And that was when Emily’s abusive father passed away a few months ago, Emily’s first thoughts were peace, not sadness.

This is not uncommon but yet people don’t feel safe sharing that or even understanding it. Some in our culture demand empathy and compassion for all, and that an abuse victim is not allowed to feel or express anything other than that. But, that line of thought invalidates the real and honest feelings that come with finally being set free from a person who challenged your sense of safety and self worth. And so bringing that subject up and out of the dark, so that we can hopefully remove the shame and stigma of this topic.

Resources:
Into the Light by Emily Stroia, Into the Light is a story of healing from loss, trauma and darkness told through poetry. It explores spirituality, meditation, intuition and personal exploration.

http://emilystroia.com/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Our Veterans and Suicide with Jonah Maddox

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 27 Sep 2020 14:00:00 GMT

Suicide is a national problem in the United States. Well over 40,000 people die by suicide every year, including adults and children. In those numbers are over 6,000 military veterans, most of them male. When the rates are adjusting for population differences in age and sex, in 2017, veterans died by suicide 1.5 times more than non-veterans.

This week Ameé speaks with Army vet Jonah Maddox, who has been outspoken about his own struggles with PTSD, alcohol addiction, anxiety, and suicide ideation. He shares his story and what he believes the civilian community needs to know and do to help reduce suicides in the veteran community beyond doing things like the Push-Up Challenge.

If you are a veteran looking for support, type in “Veteran Service Officer near me” into your web search browser (Google or Bing, for example) to find the one closest to you. Or click the links below.

From the American Legion website:

“Accredited American Legion service officers are specially trained to provide expert assistance, free of charge, to veterans and their families. While the majority of a service officer’s work involves application for VA disability benefits, these compassionate professionals also provide information, referrals and resources on education, employment and business, death benefits and other important topics.”

Lifeline for Vets Website

List of Veteran Service Officers by State

U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs – Directory of Veterans Service Organizations

The American Legion – VSO Search

Make the Connection - provides information about life experiences you can relate to. You also can explore information about signs, symptoms, and conditions that are related to mental health and well-being.

Veterans of Foreign Wars

Disabled American Veterans (DAV)

Other Resources:

Jonah’s Instagram Account

The Push-Up Challenge Video - https://www.instagram.com/tv/CDgZ0t6DXXp/

Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging by Sebastian Junger

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Talking Teen Suicide & Racism with Dr. Uchenna Umeh

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 20 Sep 2020 05:00:00 GMT

This week, Ameé speaks with motivational speaker, suicide prevention advocate and pediatrician Dr. Uchenna Umeh. Known as “Dr. Lulu” to her pediatric patients, she is also the author of How to Teach Your Children About Racism: A Letter From A Black Mother to White Parent and added “TEDx Speaker” to her impressive list of accomplishments. In this episode, she tells Ameé why she quit her regular practice to become a full-time teen suicide prevention advocate. She also describes what her life is like as a black mother with three sons and the role racism, LGBTQ, and bullying play into reasons why children kill themselves.

In this episode you will hear:

What are the reasons why teens kill themselves?
ACES (Adverse Childhood Experiences) and Suicide
Generational trauma and epigenetics
LGBTQ Teens and Suicide rates
Peer Pressure or suicide contagion
The problem with treating a child’s depression without treating the environment they are in
Being a black mother and racism today
The things we CAN do to prevent a suicidal child from killing themselves

#staywithmyson #silencekills #talksaveslives #bethe1to #endteendepression #endteensuicide #askdoctorlulu

Resources:

https://www.teenalive.com/

https://www.facebook.com/uchenna.umeh.9

https://www.bethe1to.com/

https://afsp.org/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Keeping the Suicide a Secret with Michelle Anhang

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 13 Sep 2020 05:00:00 GMT

On this episode, Ameé speaks with Michelle Anhang, a coach and suicide survivor, and hears her story of grief and healing after the death of her husband by suicide. Unlike some of the other survivor stories told on One Broken Mom, Michelle shares with everyone the decision to keep the truth behind her husband’s death a secret from everyone, including her children, for over ten years and the toll it ultimately took on her.

In this show, you will hear:

An overview of Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia?
The overwhelming statistics regarding suicide in the United States
The reasons behind keeping her husband’s suicide a secret
The impacts and consequences of keeping the secret for so long
Talking with her children about mental illness and their father’s suicide
Her journey to coaching and working with others

Resources:

Website: https://www.michelleanhangcoaching.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/michelleanhangcoaching/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelleanhangcoaching/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michelle-anhang/

https://afsp.org/suicide-statistics/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

A Culture of Silence with Richa Badami

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 06 Sep 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Ameé welcomes to the show Richa Badami. Richa is a healer, author and survivor of father-daughter sexual abuse. Born and raised in India, Richa shares her reasons for why it would take her years to get treatment and overcome the damage from her abuse due in large part to cultural taboos within her community. She has detailed this journey in her memoir, “Coming Home to the Heart” and for the first time since she’s published her book, she tells her full story out loud. She talks about many things including her thoughts of suicide, shame, and even rejection from the psychologists at her University to help her heal from her abuse because the subject was too taboo for even them to want to involve themselves.

But like many guests on the show, Richa is fighter and found a path to healing that is connected with her spiritual beliefs as well as the use of Eastern-based practices.

Resources:

https://richabadami.com/

Click Here to Sign Up for the FREE Freedom from Trauma Summit: https://summit.richabadami.com/speaker/ameequiriconi/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

"We Were Malicious Women" with Lacie Marsh Carroll

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 30 Aug 2020 14:00:00 GMT

Today’s guest was introduced to Ameé originally through an old high school friend who ran across her products while shopping in New Orleans. At that time, Ameé was wrapping up Season 2 and put the idea in her back pocket for Season 3.

Well then a funny thing happened – Ameé and her guest, who happen to live and do business in the same small Washington town, both end up on a Zoom call discussing an open letter and call to action in the wake of George Floyd’s murder this year and the #BlackLivesMatter movement. And that’s when Ameé said to herself, “Okay – the Universe has linked us together twice now. We gotta do this!”

So, today you will meet Lacie Marsh Carroll – the owner and founder of the Malicious Women Company who makes such amazing candles like “S**t Show.” “I’m sorry my Kid is the Reason You Drink” and “Anxiety Girl.” In this episode you hear how she became an accidental entrepreneur and why she started her business after life dealt her some tremendous blows. Lacie blends business with mental health awareness activism, specifically suicide and suicide prevention awareness.

Resources:

https://maliciouswomenco.com/

https://www.facebook.com/MaliciousWomenCandleCo

https://www.instagram.com/maliciouswomenco/

https://www.pinterest.com/MaliciousWomen/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Who You Were Meant to Be with Dr. Lindsay Gibson

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 23 Aug 2020 05:00:00 GMT

To celebrate One Broken Mom's 100th episode, Ameé brings a special guest and the number one favorite for listeners back to celebrate the occasion.

Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist in private practice who specializes in individual psychotherapy with adult children of emotionally immature parents. She is author of "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" and the follow up, "Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents" She also writes a monthly column on well-being for Tidewater Women magazine. In the past she has served as an adjunct assistant professor of graduate psychology for the College of William and Mary, as well as for Old Dominion University. Gibson lives and practices in Virginia Beach, Virginia.

In this episode, Ameé and Lindsay to talk about her first book, published 20 years ago that she has just re-issued aptly titled “Who You Were Meant to Be: A Guide to Finding or Recovering Your Life’s Purpose."

Resources:
Who You Were Meant to Be: A Guide to Rediscovering Your Life's Purpose

Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents: Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries and Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

The Science of Persuasion with Dr. Christophe Morin

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 16 Aug 2020 05:00:00 GMT

In this episode, Ameé speaks with persuasion scientist and author, Dr. Christophe Morin. Christophe is the co-author of the book The Persuasion Code and CEO at Sales Brain, the first of its kind "neuromarketing" agency that uses the science to help businesses achieve better results with their marketing and advertising.

Ameé had an opportunity to meet Christophe in 2019 when she attended one of his 2-day workshops and invited him to speak with her about how the brain makes decisions - because it's not well known that our rational, conscious thoughts are rarely driving our decision-making process. And in the context of current times, having a better understanding of how messaging in mainstream and social media is impacting us at a primal level, revealing this information may be very important to many people.

In this episode, you will hear:
What parts of the brain are stimulated during our decision-making
How fear drives our decisions, even if we don't think that's what's happening
How biases short-cut our thinking processes
How to make us persuasion-proof against being overwhelmed by fear-based messaging

Resources:
https://www.salesbrain.com/
The Persuasion Code

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Becoming Unbroken with Michael Anthony

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 09 Aug 2020 05:00:00 GMT

On this episode, Ameé speaks with Michael Anthony. Michael is an author, mentor, and advocate for adult survivors of child abuse, trauma, and CPTSD. Growing up as a biracial child with racist family members, abused by drug-addicted parents, and battling his own addictions, Michael found a way to turn his life around and now his not just a trauma survivor but a Trauma Warrior, on a mission to help others do the same. In 2019, he published his book Think Unbroken: Understanding and Overcoming Childhood Trauma, and has developed workshops and coaching based on his approach to healing.

In this episode, you will hear:

The trauma of racism and growing up bi-racial
Cutting off toxic family members
Michael’s “Mirror Moment”
The importance of being accountable for changing your life
Is forgiveness actually necessary to heal or should it be earned
What it means to “Think Unbroken” and Michael’s approach of “Mindset over Everything” for helping others

Resources:

https://www.thinkunbroken.com/

Think Unbroken: Understanding and Overcoming Childhood Trauma by Michael Anthony

Michael on Instagram

Michael on YouTube

Michael on Facebook

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

How To Harness Adversity with Dr. Ronda Beaman

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 02 Aug 2020 05:00:00 GMT

On this week’s episode, Ameé speaks with resilience expert, TEDx speaker, and lecturer Dr. Ronda Beaman. Over her career, Ronda has been Professor of the Year at three universities, and her family was named America’s Most Creative Family by USA Today!

But here’s another fun fact: She has appeared on "Don't Forget the Lyrics" with Wayne Brady. And her crowning achieve was that she did not know the third verse of "Sweet Home Alabama!" Who knew there was a third verse? But she did remember Tommy James and the Shondell's "I Think We're Alone Now."

When not appearing on game shows, Dr. Ronda Beaman is Chief Creative Officer at PEAK Learning and a Clinical Professor at The Graduate School of Business, California Polytechnic University.

Her award-winning book, You're Only Young Twice: 10 Do-Overs to Reawaken Your Spirit, has been printed in five languages. And she also her memoir, Little Miss Merit Badge, which is a humorous account of her achievement addiction and the childhood hijinks employed to thrive in an unusual family.

In this episode, you will hear:

The four dimensions of our behaviors & thoughts that determine how well we will deal with an adversity?
Why someone people respond differently to difficult situation than others
How can someone become more “adversity resistant”
What role our sense of fulfillment plays into how well we handle adversity
Why who we surround yourself and how they impact your abilities to harness adversity

Resources

https://www.peaklearning.com/

Adversity Quotient: Turning Obstacles into Opportunities by Paul Stoltz

Little Miss Merit Badge: A Memoir

You're Only Young Twice: 10 Do-Overs to Reawaken Your Spirit

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Mothers Who Abuse Their Sons with Dr. Joe Kort

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 26 Jul 2020 14:00:00 GMT

Today’s episode comes from a listener to the show who wrote to Ameé ask if she had any resources for men who have been abused by their mothers. He then shared that he has been researching on his own and can’t find anything on the topic. During her research, Ameé found today’s guest, Dr. Joe Kort. Joe is a Detroit area-based Psychotherapist, life coach, author, and podcaster who specializes in tackling the taboo as well as the norms about our sexual health.

Visit www.ameequiriconi to subscribe or ask a question.

In this episode, you will hear:

The taboos and societal messages responsible for the lack of information and resources for survivors of mother-son incest
Understanding how women can tip the scales and assault men or their sons
Understanding the differences between covert and overt abuse
How to make room in society for men to share their abuse experiences
The resources available for men who have been abused by women and/or their mothers

Resources:

Mother-Son Incest: The Unthinkable Broken Taboo, An Overview of Findings by Hani Miletski

The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health

http://joekort.com/

https://smartsexsmartlove.com/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-the-erotic-code/201704/mommy-nearest?#_=_

https://malesurvivor.org/index.php

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Perfectly Hidden Depression with Dr. Margaret Rutherford

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 19 Jul 2020 05:00:00 GMT

In the episode, Ameé speaks with return guest, Dr. Margaret Rutherford, a clinical Psychologist and the author of the book Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression.

In this episode, you will hear:

How Margaret began to link perfectionism with depression and not anxiety
The links between perfectionism and suicide
The definition of depression
Is all perfectionism depression
The difference between having a sense of pride and feelings of accomplishment around being successful and achievements versus something unhealthy
The Five Stage Process for healing & addressing PHD

Resources:

I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression by Terrance Real

Perfectionism: A Relational Approach to Conceptualization, Assessment, and Treatment Paul L. Hewitt (Author), Gordon L. Flett (Author), Samuel F. Mikail (Author)

www.drmargaretrutherford.com

The SelfWork Podcast

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

This is How it Feels (Part 2) with Craig Miller

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 12 Jul 2020 07:00:00 GMT

In Part 2, Ameé continues her conversation with Craig Miller, an award-winner author, speaker and advocate for suicide awareness and prevention.

After self-publishing his memoir, This is How it Feels, in July of 2012, Craig joined The Massachusetts Coalition for Suicide Prevention and began speaking out about his suicide attempt and his battles with mental health issues. Since then, he has shared his story with hundreds of people, speaking at bookstores, charity events, and public events as well as at The Massachusetts Suicide Prevention Conference. He has also written blogs for The American Association of Suicidology’s Attempt Survivor Blog. Most recently, he has joined Growing Out of Darkness as the organization’s Program Director.

Craig’s insight into his mental health issues and the steps he took to overcome them has not only helped those who also struggle, but it has provided valuable information to professionals in the mental health field as well. In January, 2013 Craig gave a filmed interview where he talks in depth about these areas. This interview has been used in a training program for mental health clinicians and is planned to be rolled out nationwide. He is also going to be featured in an upcoming document called “The ‘S’ Word” that aims to change the landscape of suicide prevention and awareness.

In this episode, you will hear:

The suicide of his own mother in 2019
When suicide conversations should begin with children
Programs he's involved with in suicide prevention and awareness

Resources:

Amazon link for book “This is How it Feels”

Craig’s Website

https://theswordmovie.com/ Documentary

Growing Out of Darkness Website

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

This is How it Feels (Part 1) with Craig Miller

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 05 Jul 2020 13:00:00 GMT

Ameé speaks with Craig Miller, an award-winner author, speaker and advocate for suicide awareness and prevention.

In this episode, you will hear:

Craig’s personal story of mental illness and OCD
Why as a child, he kept his ‘secret’
His suicide attempt
What changed that saved his life

Resources:

Amazon link for book “This is How it Feels”

Craig’s Website

https://theswordmovie.com/ Documentary

Growing Out of Darkness Website

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

For Better or For Worse with Dr. Stan Tatkin

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 28 Jun 2020 15:00:00 GMT

Marriage vows are being tested worldwide as we are in the midst of a global pandemic that has forced billions of people to stay home. In addition, in the US, we are at 30 million people, unemployed and millions of children trying to school from home by parents emotionally unequipped to take on a burden while they themselves are trying to make sense of their own worlds, fears and concerns.

Right now – many people are seeing perhaps where their greatest strengths are in their partners as well as their weaknesses.

People are probably questioning their choices and wondering what to do next once the world re-opens.

The traditional marriage vows we are all familiar with date back to the Book of Common Prayer, originally printed in 1549 which say

"to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death us depart."

But how would we know if this person your are dating or married to is really the one, for example, you can be locked up in a house with for two to three months during a pandemic?

That’s why Ameé has back on today Dr. Stan Tatkin – couples expert and author of many books including Wired For Love and Wired for Dating to talk about his book We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love.

In this episode, you will hear:

How our unseen fears may be impacting our relationship
How attachment affects our style of relating to one another
How to “Sherlock” any potential candidates
Why a “mission statement” is important for a couple or a person

Resources:

Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure

Wired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate

We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love

Dr. Stan Tatkin’s Website

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Living with CPTSD During a Crisis with Anna Runkle

A.D. Virelle — Mon, 22 Jun 2020 15:00:00 GMT

Returning to the show is Anna Runkle, the creator of Crappy Childhood Fairy, an online resource for understanding and healing from CPTSD related to chronic childhood experiences. In Season Two, we learned about Anna and her work after a listener wrote in and recommended her processes. As a childhood trauma survivor, Anna brings a perspective from the trenches and methodology that has helped her for over twenty years slow the spinning of the hamster wheel in her head as well as for others. In this episode, Ameé and Anna talk about how the current worldwide climate of the pandemic can be impacting those who have CPTSD and introduces some strategies for managing it.

Recorded on the morning of May 25, 2020, we both had no idea of what was yet to come later that day and the days following with the death of George Floyd, and thought the COVID-19 situation would be the most significant event for people to deal with.

In this episode, you will hear:

The distinction between PTSD and CPTSD
The relationship of CPTSD and health disorders
What are emotional flashbacks
Why we must be accountable for understanding our symptoms and guiding our own healing
How healing is about becoming lucid of our experiences and what is happening with us in the moment
Anna’s process for healing and living with CPTSD

Resources:

https://crappychildhoodfairy.com/

https://courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/courses/daily-practice

The Crappy Childhood Fairy on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCZlDCbFTqHkzV_rUP4V5bg

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Parenting in Unpeaceful Times with Dr. Laura Markham

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 14 Jun 2020 14:00:00 GMT

First, yes, it was confirmed that "unpeaceful" is a real word. In this episode, Ameé brings back to the show Dr. Laura Markham, creator of Aha! Parenting, therapist, coach, and author of "Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids." Originally the plan was to have a conversation about the challenges of parenting children during a worldwide pandemic, but then with the brutal death of George Floyd on May 25 in Minneapolis, Minnesota, the whole country was thrust into the largest civil rights movement in human history. Recorded on June 3, 2020, Ameé then asked Laura to talk with her about parenting our kids and ourselves through social justice, anti-racism, and how to prepare for the upcoming Presidential elections, regardless of political affiliations.

In this episode, you will hear:

What do when a parent’s stresses are being activated or re-traumatized
What are the age-appropriate discussions to have with kids about race & racism?
What are good strategies for hiding our stresses from our kids in ways that don’t activate them but in a way that allows for their emotional development?
What is okay for our kids to see and what can be harmful or activating for children?
Teaching our kids Media Literacy
How to teach kids about fairness, equality, racism and activism

Resources:
Dr. Laura Markham's Website

Article mentioned in the episode:
https://www.ahaparenting.com/blog/talking-with-children-about-racism-police-brutality-and-protests

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Childhood Trauma Behind Bars with Fritzi Horstman

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 07 Jun 2020 13:00:00 GMT

In this episode, Ameé speaks with me Fritzi Horstman. She is the Founder and Executive Director of Compassion Prison Project. Fritzi is a Grammy-award winning producer for her work on “The Defiant Ones”, has been a producer and post-producer on dozens of television projects and documentaries and has directed several films.

Recorded 10 days before the death of George Floyd, a Minnesota man killed by police officers, that sparked the largest civil rights movement in human history, Fritzi and Ameé discussed the inequities and belief systems in the judicial systems that affect men and women with severe childhood traumas.

The Compassion Prison Project’s objectives are to raise the awareness of how many incarcerated people are traumatized humans and to create programs that allow all communities to heal.

In this episode, you will hear:

Fritzi’s journey from Hollywood film production to starting this program
Stories of the men in prisons participating in the Compassion Prison Project
The impacts of trauma on the men and women who commit crimes
How victims of crimes are ignored, and their restoration is necessary

Resources:

Compassion Prison Project Website

Donate to the Compassion Prison Project HERE

Take the ACE Test HERE

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Our Ego at Work with Wendy Behary

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 24 May 2020 13:00:00 GMT

This is the full episode of the interview with Wendy Behary in March. The first 20 minutes is a repeat for anyone who listed to the Special COVID Episode with her.

Back on the show is Wendy Behary, the author of Disarming the Narcissist and frequent guest who shares her expertise on narcissistic personality disorder and the impacts on relationships.

Today Ameé talks with Wendy about how our own ego and dysfunction plays out in our business relationships as well. While we can see this usually in leadership, globally as well as locally, people unaware of their own unrelenting drives or wounds can be in any position in organizations that are not necessarily in leadership or management. And these people can actually be ourselves.

In this episode, you will hear:

Why does the business/work environment trigger us differently than at home?
How can we uncover some of our survival modes we play out at work?
How is coaching effective at helping us grow?
How can organizations and leaders handle the re-introduction of people back to work?

References:

Reinventing Your Life: The Breakthrough Program to End Negative Behavior and Feel Great Again

Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Rethinking Narcissism with Dr. Craig Malkin

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 17 May 2020 13:00:00 GMT

Is it always so wrong to have a sense of pride for you own achievements? Or to feel confident in your skills and abilities? How about selfies? Does posting a selfie instantly make you a Narcissist? And are Narcissists all people who got participation awards and were told they were amazing too many times when they didn’t deserve it?

The history of narcissism in the field of psychology may surprise you when you learn how the definition has shifted over the past 100 years. What is also surprising is that narcissism can, in fact, be healthy.

In this episode, Ameé speaks with best-selling author Dr. Craig Malkin about his work in the field of narcissism and his efforts to shift how narcissism is viewed and defined. His 2015 book, Rethinking Narcissism, was the first book on the topic that Ameé bought as she was coming to terms with her understanding of her own self-awareness and belief she was a “magnet” for narcissists.

Dr. Craig Malkin is Lecturer in Psychology for Harvard Medical School and licensed psychologist with over two decades of experience in helping couples, individuals, and families. His research on the role of relationships in psychological growth has been published in peer-reviewed journals, and PsychologyToday.com has called his blog Romance Redux “an essential read.” He is also a frequent contributor to Huffington Post.

Dr. Malkin’s advice and insights on a wide range of topics within his areas of expertise have been featured in major national and international on-line and print media magazines and newspapers, including Match.com’s Happen Magazine, Marie Claire, and Women’s Health, as well as popular TV and radio news shows.

This episode will cover:

The history of narcissism and the tools to identify it
What Healthy Narcissism is and is not
The 3 Stop Signs for when a relationship needs to be ended
How to tell if assertiveness, pride and confidence is healthy or not

Resources

Click Here to Buy the Book Rethinking Narcissism: The Bad - and Surprising Good - About Feeling Special

http://www.drcraigmalkin.com/

Click Here to Take the Narcissism Test

Dr. Craig Malkin’s YouTube Channel

Dr. Craig on Twitter

Dr. Craig on Facebook

https://www.ameequiriconi.com/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Trapped By a Pandemic with Liz Cohen

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 10 May 2020 15:00:00 GMT

Just because there are Stay at Home Orders, you do not need to stay in an abusive situation. Shelters are open state-wide and the National Domestic Violence Hotline is still open, 24/7 to take your call and to direct you to a local shelter and organization to help you take the next steps. You are not alone.

Call 1-800-799-7233
Text: LOVEIS to 22522
https://www.thehotline.org/

Welcome back and to the soft-start to Season 3! In this episode, Ameé speaks with Liz Cohen about the feelings of trapped some people are experiencing during the Stay-At-Home orders worldwide, in particular those who are considering or going through divorce.

Liz offers classes for women going through divorce and has a program coming up.
I wanted to share with you the link to my upcoming free program called 14 day set-by-step guide to making any tough decisions while going through your divorce. Here is the link for it. It will be open May 20th through June 6th.

From Liz:

"When we are going through a divorce we don’t feel safe and secure to take chances. This can make us more afraid to make decisions. What if you had the perfect tool to make the best decisions during your divorce? Guess what. I have it for you. I created a step by step guide to making the best decisions during your divorce. I made this just for you. We will be taking a 14 day journey to making decisions. Sign up here.
https://bit.ly/gooddivorcedecision By the end you will have confidence, security and optimism whenever you need to make a decision related to your divorce."

Liz's Website: https://drelizabethcohen.com/

For more information from Ameé, including coaching and books, click the link below:

www.ameequiriconi.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Coronavirus SPECIAL Episode: How Our Traumas May Be Triggered with Wendy Behary

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 22 Mar 2020 23:00:00 GMT

In this bonus episode, Amee takes a moment out of her upcoming Season 3 episode (launching May 10, 2020) to speak with Wendy Behary about how the 2020 Coronavirus pandemic may be affected people, especially those with trauma histories.

In this episode, you will hear:
How some people may have new schemas triggered by the stress of the pandemic
What to do if we have a narcissistic person in our life who is more demanding then ever
What companies could do to nurture their workforce during a time like this
What we should do to help us regulate ourselves

Wendy Behary is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC and DC as well as the author of Disarming the Narcissist.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Parent-Child Enmeshment with Dr. Margaret Rutheford

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 16 Feb 2020 06:00:00 GMT

In the season finale, Ameé welcomes to the show Dr. Margaret Rutherford. She has been a psychologist in private practice for over twenty-five years. She hosts a podcast called SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford and in November of 2019, published her book Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism that Masks Your Depression.

Due to messages from many listeners as well as having a front row seat to the dynamic of enmeshment, Ameé is tackling the topic with Margaret to help raise the awareness of it for families who may not understand the differences between healthy parent-child relationships and what happens when they are too involved.

We see a lot today not enough connection between parents and children for fear of “ruining” them, sadly especially with boys and mothers. But enmeshment is swinging the pendulum all the way to the other side.

In this episode, you will hear:

Is there really a fine line between a healthy connection and enmeshment?
Margaret's personal experiences with enmeshment
The relationship of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder with enmeshment
What are the major consequences to adult children from an enmeshed relationship with a parent

Resources

https://drmargaretrutherford.com/when-a-parent-needs-too-much-what-is-enmeshment-and-how-does-it-hurt-a-child/

https://drmargaretrutherford.com/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

How We Sabotage Love with Darlene Lancer

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 09 Feb 2020 06:00:00 GMT

Today Ameé speaks with Darlene Lancer. Darlene is is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and relationship and codependency expert. She wrote Codependency for Dummies and Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You. Over the course of 30 years, has helped men and women recover from codependency and trauma.

And just in time for Valentines Day, Ameé and Darlene talk about how some of us our prone to sabotage love and relationships and why we do it.

In this episode, you will hear:

How do we know if we truly have low self-esteem?
The difference between overall low self-esteem and inauthenticity
How distrust and rushing are both ways we sabotage
Do we have to sacrifice our true selves in order to have a happy relationship

Resources:

Blog Articles from Darlene’s Website:

https://www.whatiscodependency.com/sabotage-love-shame-fear-abandonment/

https://www.whatiscodependency.com/self-esteem-self-acceptance-raise-self-esteem/

https://www.whatiscodependency.com/lost-self-codependent-relationships/

https://www.whatiscodependency.com/10-tips-to-spot-emotionally-unavailable-emotional-unavailability/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Teens and Anxiety with Jax Anderson

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 02 Feb 2020 06:00:00 GMT

Anxiety is a normal and healthy physiological response to a threat in the environment. However, anxiety can be become a disorder when we develop out-of-proportion anxiety responses to things most of us cope with easily.

In 2019, the Child Mind Institute published their 2018 Children’s Mental Health Report, providing a look at how widespread child and adolescent anxiety really is. On this episode, Ameé speaks again with Jax Anderson, a Wisconsin-based therapist that specializes in working with teenagers, about the signs of anxiety in children, the risks associated and what treatment options are available.

Resources:
Moms and teen Girls Facebook Group
Jax Anderson - The Psyko Therapist Facebook Page
Raise a Little Hell Podcast

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Why Women Hate Women with Berit Brogaard

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 26 Jan 2020 06:00:00 GMT

On this episode, Ameé speaks with Berit Brogaard. “Brit” is a Professor and the Director of the Brogaard Lab for Multisensory Research at the University of Miami. Her educational background includes a medical degree in neuroscience and a doctorate in philosophy.

Her areas of research include perception, synesthesia, blindsight, consciousness, neuro-psychiatry and emotions. Brit has written over 100 peer-reviewed articles, some three hundred popular articles on neuroscience and health issues and three books: Transient Truths (Oxford), On Romantic Love (2015) and The Superhuman Mind (2015). She is currently finishing a third book with Oxford entitled Seeing and Saying.

Her work has been featured in various public media, including Nightline, ABC News, the Huffington Post, Fox News, MSNBC, Daily Mail, Modesto Bee, and Mumbai Mirror. She is the 100th President of the Southern Society for Philosophy and Psychology and was the first female President of the Central States Philosophical Association.

We know the movies like “Mean Girls”. The gossip. The put downs and insults. And then even the not so obvious ways women sabotage each other in the workplace even, especially if it’s in male-dominated company or industry.

So it begs the question – if we know how hard it some times to be a woman and live with our challenges, socially and culturally, why on earth would we be hateful towards other women?

And that’s why Brit is on today – to help us understand female misogyny.

In this episode, you will hear:

Defining misogyny and what it is.
Where can the origins be generally found for men and women?
The four basic types of female misogynists: The Puritan, The Self-Critic, The Self-Loather, and the She-Devil.
Are feelings of jealousy and envy towards other women misogynistic or normal?
How widespread is female misogyny?
Is this something treatable or addressable? Can a misogynist learn and grow out of these feelings of contempt?

Resources

Article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mysteries-love/201908/12-ways-spot-female-misogynist

Website: The Mysteries of Love on Psychology Today

Book: On Romantic Love: Simple Truths about a Complex Emotion (Philosophy in Action)

Book: The Superhuman Mind: Free the Genius in Your Brain

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Aftermath: Surviving a Psychopath

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 19 Jan 2020 06:00:00 GMT

Today, Ameé revisits the topic of psychopathy with Dr. Dave Kossen. Dr. Kosson is a Professor of Psychology at Rosalind Franklin University of Medicine and Science. His research focuses on the cognitive, emotional, interpersonal, and developmental mechanisms underlying psychopathy. He is also the President-Elect of the Society for the Scientific Study of Psychopathy. He founded the Aftermath: Surviving Psychopathy Foundation in 2006 and has served as its first President.

In this episode you will hear:

Why the organization was started?
How is psychopathy determined really
How is an abusive partner that is psychopathic different from other types of abusive people?
How psychopaths abuse the legal system in particular divorce and custody situations
Noting that research has shown that psychopathic people are actually more “desirable” in the courting phases, what are the clear warning signs of danger?
What is best protection against psychopathy
What is the best way to confront a psychopath

Resources

Website: https://aftermath-surviving-psychopathy.org/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

How to Have Difficult Conversations with Lara Currie

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 12 Jan 2020 06:00:00 GMT

On this episode, Ameé speaks again with Lara Currie, who is a self-proclaimed communication nerd and author of the book Difficult Happens: How Triggers, Boundaries & Emotions Impact You Every Day to talk about having difficult conversations at work or with others by understanding our triggers and adapted conflict personalities affect us.

In this episode, you will hear:

Conflict personality types and how to figure out what type we might be?
Skills for diffusing a difficult situation
How to handle a boss with low social or emotional intelligence
Venting and what we need to know about our work "friendships"
How to gain perspective about “unwinnable” conversations
Good ways to express our disagreements with another person or idea
How can we come back to the topic later and invite the discussion again

Resources
Lara's Website: https://difficulthappens.com/
Link to Lara's Podcast: https://difficulthappens.com/podcast-page/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

How to Avoid Emotional Takeovers with Dr. Lindsay Gibson

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 05 Jan 2020 06:00:00 GMT

Many people out there listening who have identified with the realization that they grew up in a household with emotionally immature parents

And growing up in a household of emotionally immature family members – maybe not even just your parents – doesn’t impact us the same way. Our own inner workings and the unique array of experiences – from our DNA to other people who we did or didn’t have in our lives at certain poignant periods – all come together and form the memories that our brains use to access and assess what we have to do next. In split seconds.

This can mean, we can be caught off guard at times if the right buttons get pushed by someone. And that’s why Ameé has fan-favorite Dr. Lindsay Gibson back on the show to talk about how to avoid falling prey to the emotional takeovers commonly used by emotionally immature people to coerce us into taking care of their issues for them. She is the Author of Adult Children of Emotionally-Immature Parents and her newest book, Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents: Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries & Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy

On this episode, you will hear:

The emotionally immature relationship system (EIRS) what is this and how do we detect it
Now EIPS (emotionally immature people) see the world through a distortion field – what does that mean?
How does an EIP develop this distortion field?
Now what happens to if we accept their view of the world?
Disassociation is something that can happen to us when we are locked into the emotionally immature relationship system. Can you describe what that is and how that might look and feel?
How do we know we are being lured into someone’s takeover?
Why are we vulnerable to these emotional takeovers?
How do we continue to shore up the defenses against these hostilities? What are the preparations and strengthening we can do between these encounters in order to make us more able to resist and to eliminate this threat to our well-being in the future?

Books:
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents
Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents: Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries and Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

How Our Children Help Us Heal with Robin Grille

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 29 Dec 2019 06:00:00 GMT

This week, Ameé speaks to Robin Grille, a psychotherapist, author and parent coach based out of Australia who has a new book called Inner Child Journeys: How our Children Grow Us Up and he’s hear to talk about this strategy and guidebook for understanding our own childhood so that we can understand our own children and how to parent OR teach them.

"In simple layman's terms, 'Inner Child Journeys' explains a safe, step-by-step method for understanding the emotional reactions triggered in us by our children, at all ages. This Process was tested and refined over many years by Australian psychologist Robin Grille, and it is based on sound neuropsychological principles. In its 'light' or 'in-depth' forms, this Inner Child Process can help you gain new and profound insights about yourself and about your children, honing your own intuition about what your children need in order to thrive. It will help you understand even your children's most baffling behaviors - via a better understanding your own childhood experiences and how they've affected you. At the same time, this Process helps you to better understand your own, deepest emotional needs, and how to have those needs met.

Ultimately, Inner Child Journeys are about healing long-held emotional wounds that are often brought to the surface through our interactions with our children. Most of us encounter, from time to time, significant challenges and difficult terrain in the course of parenting or educating our children. This Inner Child Process helps you engage with even the most insurmountable challenges in your child-rearing endeavors, and turn those challenges into exciting and empowering personal-growth and healing opportunities for you.
The book gives no advice about how to raise your children, nor how to educate your students. That's because this book helps you access your own inner knowledge, based on your own experiences as a child. The more you befriend your own Inner Child, the more empathetic and effective a parent or teacher you become. Your children benefit enormously as you grow. Written for parents, elders, schoolteachers and psychotherapists, this book shows you how to turn child-rearing into a most exciting and transformative personal growth and healing adventure. Indeed, 'our children grow us up'." -From Amazon

Resources:
https://www.robingrille.com/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Betrayal From The Hypersexual Narcissist with Wendy Behary

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 22 Dec 2019 06:00:00 GMT

For her 75th episode of One Broken Mom, Ameé brings back a listener favorite, Wendy Behary. Wendy is the founder and Director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC and DC. She has been training professionals and supervising psychotherapists for more than twenty years.

She is the author of Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed and is on the show to talk about the very real but often not understood hypersexualized nature of many male narcissists. From excessive porn watching to hiring prostitutes to having multiple affairs, the hallmark is the overarching sense of entitlement these types of narcissists feel. Unfortunately, their behaviors are demeaning and without the consent or knowledge of their partners, leaving deeply traumatic and painful wounds on the relationship as well as the partner.

In this episode you will hear:

So what is abuse?
Hypersexualization – how does this fit into the picture of a relationship with a narcissist?
Are all narcissists this way?
Is this the same as having a sex addiction?
What is betrayal trauma?
How do these betrayals activate the Attachment System and what does that do to victims?
What are possible long-term impacts sometimes for a victim who’s been in a relationship like this?
How does a person heals from this type of trauma?

Resources:
Wendy's Website
Wendy on Facebook

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Meditation for Regular People with Jen Johannsen

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 15 Dec 2019 06:00:00 GMT

In this episode Ameé interviews Jen Johannsen, a school psychologist turned meditation teacher to talk about mediation for every day, stressed out people.

As much fun as it is to always be picking off scabs on wounds and to commiserate about who messed us up and why, the reality is the road to healing must be balanced.

Knowing everything doesn’t change anything. We have a nervous system and a body that needs to be re-tuned, especially if we have childhood trauma and adverse experiences to heal from. And that means that we need as many tools and resources available to us to help us gain control of the sympathetic nervous system that gets triggered and forces us into the autopilot that we know is sometimes hurting us so that we can stop using the neuropathways that hurt us and being strengthening the news ones that will help.

That's why learning about simple ways to incorporate the healing benefits of mediation into our lives is an important part of a holistic approach to recovery and self-improvement.

In this episode you will hear:

The history of meditation and its uses
The evidence-based benefits of meditation on the brain and body
What is meditation NOT?
The myths about meditations
Different types of meditation styles and processes

Resources
Jen Johannsen's Website
Jen on Facebook

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Talking to Teens About Drugs & Alcohol with Geffen Liberman

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 08 Dec 2019 06:00:00 GMT

This week Ameé speaks with Geffen Liberman about the somewhat normal rite of passage for teenagers with drug and/or alcohol use and experimentation. Geffen has been in the field for over 20 years, and has worked in every facet of substance abuse treatment. Using his own personal experience in recovery and the education he has learned while in the field, Geffen connects with clients in a way that promotes recovery, self love and the desire for clients to achieve the best for themselves. Geffen is licensed in Arizona as a substance abuse counselor and has an IC&RC certification, as well as a life coaching certification.

In this episode you will hear:

What is different and important to understand about substance abuse in teenagers versus adults?
Why are kids turning to drugs and alcohol in general?
What are good deterrents to addiction for parents to know about?
What age do we start talking to our kids about drugs and alcohol?
When is it a problem?
What is the best thing parents can do if their kid has a serious addiction?

Resources:
Email for Geffen: getwell@glcounseling.com

https://www.continuumrecoverycenter.com/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Understanding Loss and Grief with Shelby Forsythia

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 01 Dec 2019 06:00:00 GMT

On this week's episode, Ameé chats with certified Grief Recovery Specialist, Shelby Forsythia, about how to understand and talk about grief.

Shelby is the author of Permission to Grieve and podcast host of Coming Back: Conversations on Life After Loss. After the unexpected death of her mother in 2013, she became a “student of grief” and set out on a lifetime mission to explore the oft-misunderstood human experience of loss. Through her book, weekly podcasts, and one-on-one grief guidance, she helps grieving people find direction, get support, and cultivate radical self-compassion after devastating loss.

Shelby is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®, Reiki Level II Practitioner, and Intuitive Grief Guide. Her work has been featured on Huffington Post, Bustle, and Optimal Living Daily. She currently lives in Chicago.

In this episode you will hear:

Shelby's story to becoming a "Student of Grief"
Where the phrase “Permission to Grieve” comes from
What are these phases of grieving people should expect for themselves.
Are there any benchmarks for measuring how well you are handling loss and grief
What are the other things we can and should grieve besides the loss of a person

Resources
Shelby Forsythia's Website
Shelby on Facebook
Shelby on Instagram
Shelby on YouTube

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Toxic Families: Holiday Edition with Dr. Elizabeth Cohen

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 24 Nov 2019 06:00:00 GMT

There is nothing like the holidays to add the fun to "dysfunctional families", right?

Ameé brings back repeat guest, Dr. Elizabeth Cohen to talk about holidays with toxic family members and also about dispelling the BS behind the idea that you HAVE to spend the holidays with people you choose not to see the rest of the year.

In this episode, you will hear:

First, deciding yes or no to seeing family over the holidays
Are there good reasons to NOT let your kids see or spend time with certain family members?
How to handle shared custody and holidays with kids
How to prepare for the known problems you expect to encounter
Religion – how to balance everyone’s beliefs – especially with faiths or agnostic/atheist beliefs
What to expect during your first holiday you choose to skip out on
Tips on recovering after the fact

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

The Neuroscience of the Teenage Brain with Jax Anderson

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 17 Nov 2019 06:00:00 GMT

For parents with teens, tweens or kids that will be at some point, this episode is another great one to listen to. Ameé speaks with a favorite repeat guest, Jax Anderson - a Wisconsin-based family therapist that specializes in teenagers.

In this episode, Ameé and Jax talk about the neuroscience of adolescent brain development so that parents (and ever ourselves) can gain a greater understanding of the real biological and neurological changes happening in a tween and teenagers life.

Our parents and their parents don't know what science knows now and that is a very long period of brain architecture and development happens between the ages of 12 until 25 years old! This is completely different than what many had thought about the way the brain forms and also gives us a better understanding of why teenagers act the way they do and what we REALLY need to do to parent them the right way through this period.

Resources
Jax Anderson - The Psyko Therapist on Facebook
The Psyko Therapist Website

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Defense Against Micro-Boundary Violations with Lara Currie

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 10 Nov 2019 06:00:00 GMT

On this episode, Ameé speaks with Lara Currie, who is a self-proclaimed communication nerd and author of the book Difficult Happens: How Triggers, Boundaries & Emotions Impact You Every Day to talk about how manipulators break through our defenses in the first place in a way people never seem coming.

In this episode, you will hear:

Lara's expertise in the field of communication
Do we respond differently to a manipulator we deal with at work than a manipulator that may be a spouse or parent or friend?
What is a micro-boundary violation?
What are some of the tactics a manipulator uses?
How do we defend ourselves against them?
Are there tests we can try – phrases, or questions we can ask or responses we should listen for – that we can use to try to identify someone who is a chronic or pathological manipulator?

Resources

https://difficulthappens.com/about/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

The Biggest Taboo: Incest with Nancy Allen

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 03 Nov 2019 06:00:00 GMT

Today Ameé tackles perhaps the most taboo topic in the world throughout history: Incest. Her guest, Nancy Allen – a father-daughter incest survivor, is the founder of Tail of the Bell, an organization that offers coaching and resources to other incest survivors.

Trigger Warning: Nancy speaks very candidly about the abuse she endured at the hands of her father. So, if you have experienced sexual assault, there could be some triggering moments during the interview for you!

The psychological impacts of this particular form of abuse are devastating. When a child is conflicted with trying to understand what their relationship is with an older sibling or parent and then also engaging in sexual acts before their own brains and bodies are ready for it, it leaves wounds that, as Nancy says, you don't just "get over it."

In this episode you will hear:

Nancy's story of abuse by her father
What is the common feeling incest survivors have about themselves?
How she compartmentalized as she grew up
The supportive work environment
Does someone need to admit publicly or even to spouses or friends they were sexually abused as a child in order to “heal” or move on?
Men as incest survivors
What services her organization provides
What Nancy recommends as a first step for someone sitting there with this secret and they have never told anyone or addressed their abuse before

Resources:

https://www.tailofthebell.com/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

The Psychopaths Among Us with Bill Hirstein

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 27 Oct 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Sometimes, in this world of ours, we encounter madness and monsters. And if we have grown up in environments where our sense of safety and survival has curried us to be ready for danger, well, we end up looking for it – whether we want to or not.

It doesn't mean that we walk around life like we are Lara Croft – armed and ready to take down the bad guys. No, it’s more we are like the girl in the horror movie that everyone is yelling at “No! Don’t run back into the house stupid! What are you doing?!”

Because who’s waiting for us in the house? That’s right. The ax-wielding psychopath.

I know that’s extreme and I’m just trying to be lighthearted but the truth is scary than horror-movie fiction.

There are psychopaths among us in our every day lives. And sometimes, for some of people, they are so close to us its frightening once we know who they really are.

But what is a psychopath? Are they only crazed murderers? Violent criminals? Are they always only the obvious abhorrent members of our society?

Or is the answer even more frightening than that?

So in this episode Ameé speaks with William Hirstein. Bill is both a philosopher and a scientist, having published numerous scientific articles, including works on consciousness and sociopathy. He is the author of several books, including Brain Fiction: Self-Deception and the Riddle of Confabulation (MIT, 2005), and Mindmelding: Consciousness, Neuroscience, and the Mind’s Privacy (Oxford, 2012) and the latest one: Responsible Brains: Neuroscience, Law, and Human Culpability (The MIT Press)

In this episode, you will hear:

What does this concept of psychopathy and sociopathy come from? How did it enter our culture and the field of psychology?
And how is it determined if someone is one?
Does this evaluation have to be performed by a trained professional? What are the legal implications?
What are the core sets of features then of someone with psychopathy?
Why is it important to be able to have label on someone? Does it just help satisfy our curiosity or are there implications from it?
Is a psychopath ever able to take responsibility ever for their actions?

Resources:

http://www.williamhirstein.com/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindmelding/201301/what-is-psychopath-0

Responsible Brains: Neuroscience, Law, and Human Culpability (The MIT Press)

Mindmelding: Consciousness, Neuroscience, and the Mind's Privacy

Brain Fiction: Self-Deception and the Riddle of Confabulation (Philosophical Psychopathology)

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Communication Tips for Couples with Elizabeth Earnshaw

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 20 Oct 2019 05:00:00 GMT

In this episode, Ameé speaks with Philadelphia based therapist, Elizabeth Earnshaw, about strengthen a relationship someone may already be in through improving communication.

Liz has her own practice called A Better Life Therapy and specializes in working with couples around a variety of topics such as relationship issues, infidelity, divorce, intimacy and sexual issues, premarital counseling, and breakups.

In this episode, you will hear:

Why do relationships end?
What are the typical barriers to communication with couples?
Recommendations for couples who aren't both going to therapy/self-help
What is the Gottman Method in couples therapy
What are the four things to avoid in communication with your partner
When is the best time to seek marriage counseling

Resources:

https://abetterlifetherapy.com/
Instagram for Liz Listens

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids with Dr. Laura Markham

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 13 Oct 2019 05:00:00 GMT

So, if you’ve been listening and wondering “Okay how do I do this? What are concrete examples of the parenting modes that don’t work that I thought were okay. And what do I do if I want a child with the healthy emotional development that may spare them from therapy at 40 and multiple failed relationships under their belt.”

On this episode, Ameé brings on an expert in parenting without the impacts and exposures to the traumas we’ve been talking about on this show.

Dr. Laura Markham earned her PhD in clinical psychology at Columbia University and has worked as a parenting coach with countless families across the world. Over 140,000 moms and dads enjoy Dr. Laura’s free weekly coaching posts via email as well as her books:

Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How To Stop Yelling and Start Connecting

Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How To Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life

The Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids Workbook: Using mindfulness and connection to raise resilient, joyful children and rediscover your love of parenting.

In this episode, you will hear:

What is peaceful parenting
How does a parent's trauma affect how they parent their kids
Why do we need to stop using punishments as a parenting tactic?
What is permissive parenting?
What are the important emotional development stages in kids and how to parent at each of these stages
What should working parents do differently than say a stay-at-home parent?

Other Resources:

https://www.ahaparenting.com/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

How To Master Your Divorce with Dr. Elizabeth Cohen

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 06 Oct 2019 05:00:00 GMT

In this week's episode, Ameé speaks with a return guest, Dr. Elizabeth Cohen, about how to handle the stressors and grief of divorce.

Dr. Cohen received her PhD in clinical psychology from Boston University. Dr. Cohen received her PhD in clinical psychology from Boston University. And now is the director of Dr. Elizabeth Cohen and Associates - a group practice providing comprehensive holistic Cognitive Behavioral therapeutic services in New York City.

Now, you will recall, Elizabeth and I chatted about Cutting Ties with Toxic Family and now she is launching her first online program called Afterglow: The light at the other side of Divorce. This program provides research based techniques to have ease, joy and abundance post divorce. In a recent article in the New York Post, they dubbed her "The Divorce Whisperer." Dr. Cohen has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, NBC News, Women’s Health, New York Post, Huff Post, Thrive Global and, Good Housekeeping.

In this episode you will hear:

How does someone know when “Divorce” is the right answer versus couples counseling?
If you tell your partner you want a divorce but they promise to change, should you give them another chance?
What to do when our partner tells us they want a divorce
How to handle the dividing up of friends and favorite places
The good and bad about advice from other people
What is the most important thing a man or woman can do to keep themselves from cracking under the pressures
Post Divorce: How do you make sure you DON’T end up in another bad relationship

Resources:

Elizabeth's Program: https://drelizabethcohen.com/afterglow/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Part 2: "You Can't Want It More Than They Do" with Lori Grant

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 29 Sep 2019 17:00:00 GMT

WARNING STATEMENT:

If you are or have been experience suicidal thoughts or have attempted to end your life by suicide, this episode is NOT for you. The topic we discuss today can be extremely triggering for someone who is struggling with suicide ideation and could be completely and understandably misinterpreted.

If you are a Listener, again, who has attempted suicide in the past or experience thoughts about killing yourself, please, skip this episode. Go listen to Part 1 with Andy instead or simply move along to something else.

In the latest statistics from the National Institute of Mental Health, in 2017, 10.6 million adults aged 18 or older reported having serious thoughts about trying to kill themselves, and 1.4 million adults made a non-fatal suicide attempt during the past year.

For every one of those adults, it is safe to say that there is at least one other person trying to support them. But you can easily imagine that the number is actually higher, right? We are talking about moms, dads, brothers, sisters, friends, co-workers, husbands and wives.

There is no question that understanding why a person wants to end their own life is vital to preventing deaths from suicide.

However, suicide is a taboo topic in our society and let’s consider for a moment that one of the reasons is not just that there is a concern that talking about suicide gives suicidal people the wrong idea about benefit to die at their own hands.

What if one of the reasons we don’t talk about it is also because it would open up a Pandora’s Box of shame, judgement that lives in the hearts and minds of the people who are in the trenches with someone who constantly thinks about killing themselves.

It is not easy to live with someone who has a severe mental health condition and yet we are not allowed to say that. We are not allowed to feel exhausted. Angry. Sad. Frustrated. Depressed. People outside of this turbulent world are quick to point out how shameful and selfish those feelings are.

So, the soldiers on the front line in this war to save another persons life keep these feelings to themselves. They keep their own battle hidden and can become anemic.

It is proven however, that maintaining connections with people who have thoughts of suicide can greatly reduce the deaths from suicide.

So, it is just as important that we also talk about supporting those who are out there riding out the storm with someone they don’t want to die so that are fully resourced and able to maintain the life-saving connections with the people they love.

If you are one of us – someone dealing with supporting a person with a severe mental health condition on a regular basis – then this episode is for you.

But I’m also warning you - Be ready to hear a frank, honest, raw and brave conversation from a wife who’s husband has suicidal thoughts and how she deals with this battle on her terms.

If this episode triggers you – that is okay. Take your time or stop listening. But you know me – there is no room in my world for false judgments or shaming other people. This is about supporting one another.

We are all here to get better together.

Resources:
Lori Grant's Website
Be The One To Help Save A Life Website
Suicide Prevention Lifeline or Call 1-800-273-8255

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Part 1: "Believing I Want to Die" with Andy Grant

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 29 Sep 2019 05:00:00 GMT

This episode is Part 1 in a special double-episode release dedicated to raising awareness about suicide and suicide prevention. In Part 1, Ameé speaks with a guest who’s appeared on One Broken Mom before, Andy Grant from the show Real Men Feel.

WARNING: If your life has been touched closely and intimately by suicide, this could be a tough episode to listen to - so pace yourself if you need to. This is a candid conversation about suicide and suicide ideation.

Listeners heard Andy here earlier this year when he and Ameé chatted about the work he does and the arena he has established for men to come together and support each other as they learn the understanding and tools to help them with expressing the real thoughts, feelings and needs men have.

But then a not so funny thing happened a few months ago.

Andy disappeared. His daily posts quit happening. He wasn’t commenting in his community. He wasn’t answering his messages. He wasn’t recording new shows.

When he did emerge finally, he shared that he’d fallen into the abyss again. But thankfully, Andy was able to grab the ledge and claw his way back.

So this episode is an attempt to understand the depths of the day to day struggle some people have with fighting the urge to die. And to also, hopefully, connect with what has mattered or helped Andy the most through this. Andy, sadly, falls into the largest category of people who die by suicide in the United States – men between the ages of 40-60 years – the category that has taken a sharp increase the last 10 years.

Too many people die by suicide and the people left behind have no answers to why and we hope to give some of those today.

People don’t talk about suicide in this country out of the fear that others will see it as a solution. But that method isn’t working at saving the astonishing number of people who die each and so we’re going to do it differently today by having the raw honest conversations that too many people are afraid to do.

In this episode you will hear:

What triggered Andy's recent bout of depression and suicidal thoughts
What kept him from killing himself
The treatments and therapies Andy finds most effective in his life
What do family members and close friends need to know about supporting someone who thinks about killing themselves

Resources:
Real Men Feel on Facebook
Real Men Feel on YouTube

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

From Tragedy to Triumph: The Daughter Left Behind

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 22 Sep 2019 05:00:00 GMT

On this episode, Ameé speaks with Jen Proctor, the founder and CEO of Cultivated Entertainment, a highly successful talent booking agency out of LA and New York, about losing her mother to suicide when Jen was only 13 years old.

Now, where the loss of a parent can be the kind of trauma that devastates you for life, for Jen it was that tragedy that instilled an inner compass for which she would make balance, wellness and well-being a top priority in her life. And Jen is here with Ameé to talk about her experience and to share with listeners how she turned tragedy into triumph.

In this episode you will hear:

The story of her mom and her mental health struggles

What did her support network look like after her mom’s death?

How did the experience change her – positively and negatively

Was there anything that could have been better or different in terms of support at that time that could have improved any outcomes for her?

What her key messages are for others who have suffered the same tragedy

Resources
Jen's Company, Cultivated Entertainment Website

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

The Truths About Self-Injury with Dr. Jason Washburn

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 15 Sep 2019 05:00:00 GMT

In this episode, Ameé chat's with Dr. Jason J. Washburn, the Director of Graduate Studies for the Clinical Psychology MA and PhD Programs at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine. Dr. Jason Washburn's clinical interests include mental health treatment and evaluation of children and adolescents, including nonsuicidal self-injury, pediatric bipolar disorder, and the development of antisocial behaviors and has published numerous articles and studies related to suicide and non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI), such as cutting.

Jason covers what recent research is showing in terms of the reasons people hurt themselves and the positive and negative consequences of it and some of the things he shares may surprise you.

You will hear:

What is self-harm or self-injury?
What kinds of activities are considered self-harm and what isn't?
What are some of the reasons people do it? Are they just doing it for attention?
Are tattoos and body modifications considered self-harm?
What is the evidence researcher now understand about its origins?
Does it correlate with suicide?
Is NSSI "contagious"?
What kind of treatment approaches are there?

Resources Mentioned
http://www.selfinjury.bctr.cornell.edu/

http://sioutreach.org/about-sios/

https://itriples.org/

Book by Jason Washburn | Self-Injury: Simple Answers to Complex Questions

Healing Self-Injury: A Compassionate Guide for Parents and Other Loved Ones

Freedom from Self-harm: Overcoming Self-Injury with Skills from DBT and Other Treatments

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

The Faces of Suicide Survival with Mariangela Abeo

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 08 Sep 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Ameé has discussed the topic of suicide many times on this show because it obviously goes hand-in-hand with childhood trauma and adversities. In fact, according to the CDC, only 46% of people who die by suicide have a mental health diagnosis, leaving the remaining 54% with an unknown condition. But known risks factors for suicide include a history of trauma or abuse, chronic illness, and prolonged stress.

On this episode, Ameé speaks with Mariangela Abeo – a photographer who started a powerful project called Faces of Fortitude – where people talk about how they have been impacted by suicide or suicide ideation and Mariangela captures their images to share with the world. Her Instagram account where these portraits can be seen is griping and so is her story of why she does this.

In this episode you will hear:

Mariangela's story of why she started Faces of Fortitude
Understanding Mariangela's family of origin
What she has learned about people in working with survivors of suicide include first responders and family members
What Faces of Fortitude today? How are the people selected for the project?
How to support her work

Resources:

Click here to support Faces of Fortitude

https://www.facebook.com/FacesofFortitudePortraits

https://www.instagram.com/facesoffortitude/

Be The One To Help Save a Life

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Body Shame & Eating Disorders with Carmela Ramaglia

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 01 Sep 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Today’s guest is Carmela Ramaglia, an author, speaker, and coach. At seventeen, she was hospitalized for anorexia weighing only 80 pounds. By twenty-five, she’d been in treatment 4 more times. At thirty, she was 200 pounds and suicidal, facing a choice to make: not live or live another way.

Now body shame and what’s the best approach carries a lot of emotion with it. A lot of it. Bodies are not private battles - they are the thing we see and notice about all of us. And our internal conflicts are manifested through our bodies – in terms of not just the looks and sizes but also through health conditions and disease.

And we do have a culture of placing value on people by how they look. And if we don’t meet someone’s standards, our shame about ourselves grows even deeper – as if we may be failing ourselves again.

So, listen today to today’s episode with the idea that how we talk about body shame or self-esteem and what Ameé’s guest did today to address her own issues and concerns is not a sweeping declaration that everyone needs to do it this way or feel this way about themselves.

We all have battles. They are all different. And the journey we choose to take for ourselves is for us alone to decide. Listen today with the idea of that perhaps maybe something Ameé’s guest today shares may resonate with you and if so, you might connect with her path forward. And if it doesn’t, that is okay too.

Resources:
Happy Calories Don't Count Website
Happy Calories Don't Count Facebook
Happy Calories Don't Count YouTube
Happy Calories Don't Count Twitter

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap with Ross Rosenberg

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 25 Aug 2019 05:00:00 GMT

In this episode, Ameé speaks with Ross Rosenberg. He is the owner Owner of Clinical Care Consultants in Chicago and Self-Love Recovery Institute as well as a psychotherapist, trainer, and author who specializes in Codependency, Narcissism, Trauma & Sex Addiction.

He is the author of The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap which provides answers to why patient, giving and selfless individuals (codependents) are predictably attracted to self-centered, selfish and controlling partners (emotional manipulators).

In this episode, you will learn:

What is co-dependency or self-love deficit disorder? What are the signs?
Can you be “sometimes” co-dependent – that is, exhibit the characteristics more so with certain people and not with others?
Are you turned into a co-dependent by a bad partner or is this something we’ve had in us all along that is pulled out once the conditions are right?
What is "chemistry"?
How do you counsel people who are constantly choosing or are attracted to the “wrong person” to re-tune or just be made aware of this predilection to certain types of people who are going to hurt us?
How does a man end up in a relationship with a narcissistic woman?

Resources Mentioned in this Episode
Buy The Human Magnet Syndrome book
Self-Love Recovery Institute Website
Ross Rosenberg's YouTube Channel
Self-Love Recovery Institute on Facebook

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

How To Handle Emotionally Immature People with Dr. Lindsay Gibson

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 18 Aug 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Ameé has back on the show one of the One Broken Mom listeners' favorites, Lindsay Gibson. Lindsay is the author of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents and has just published the follow-up book, Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents: Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries & Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy

Lindsay and Ameé have spoken a couple of times about Emotionally Immature Parents – who they are and what its like growing up with them as your own parents. She has really become the expert on identifying and naming the condition of “Emotionally Immature Parents” (EIP) and putting some arms around how their parenting styles create unstable and sometimes chaotic experiences for us during our childhood and into adulthood.

In this episode, you will hear not only practical advice and tools for redefining your relationship with your parents but also for any of the emotionally immature people you run into or have to deal with in life.

In this episode you will also hear:

What are the characteristics of emotionally immature people
Do your emotionally immature parents have to be cut off or can you have a relationship with them
How did growing up with EIP impact our communication styles
What is differentiation
How EIP's are hostile
How EIP's may have made us learn to NOT be assertive
How growing up with EIP's may lead you to have romantic relationships with emotionally immature people
Learning how to set boundaries

Resources
Lindsay's Website

Book Links:
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents: Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries & Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Understanding the Origins of Violence

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 11 Aug 2019 05:00:00 GMT

In the wake of recent mass shootings, Ameé had an opportunity to speak with Nick Hoffman, the Director of Development with the Avielle Foundation.

The Mission of the Avielle Foundation is to prevent violence and build compassion through neuroscience research, community engagement, and education. And it was founded after the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting in 2012 by two parents who lost their only child that day.

The Avielle Foundation accomplishes this mission by directing efforts and resources in two areas. First, the Avielle Foundation provides financial support of breakthrough neuroscience research, bridging biochemical and behavioral sciences, and making the neurosciences a prestigious and lucrative life endeavor. And second, knowing that action is as important as education, the Avielle Foundation fosters community engagement and education initiatives that empower youth, parents, teachers, health care providers, law enforcement – the everyday citizen – to advocate for brain health in themselves and others.

In this episode, Ameé speaks with Nick about some of the important studies the Avielle Foundation has supported and touch on the results of those studies that provide the evidence needed to understand why some people become violent and others don't.

In this episode you will hear:

The history and mission of the Avielle Foundation
Research projects supported that study the origins of violence
What kinds of projects funded by the Avielle Foundation
How to support the Avielle Foundation and how to apply for grants

Resources:
Donate to Support The Avielle Foundation
How to Apply for Funding
The Brainstorm Experience

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

How We Are Wired for Love with Dr. Stan Tatkin

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 04 Aug 2019 05:00:00 GMT

On this week’s episode, Ameé talks with renowned couples expert and author, Dr. Stan Tatkin. Stan Tatkin, is a clinician, teacher, and developer of A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy® (PACT). He has a clinical practice in Calabasas, CA, where he has specialized for the last 20 years in working with couples and individuals who wish to be in relationships. And he is the author of many books on the topic of relationships including Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner’s Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship, published by New Harbinger.

In this episode, you will hear:

Why is a romantic partner even necessary? What are the benefits of being tethered to another person?

What is Attachment Theory and how does our attachment style affect us as adults?

What is attraction and why do we go for certain types of people, even if they are “wrong” for us?

How do you become an expert in your partner?

Ultimately, how do we know this other person is worth the effort? What are our cues?

Books by Dr. Tatkin include:

We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love, published by Sounds True

Relationship Rx: Insights and Practices to Overcome Chronic Fighting and Return to Love, published by Sounds True

Wired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate, published by New Harbinger.

Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner’s Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship, published by New Harbinger.

Your Brain on Love: The Neurobiology of Healthy Relationships, published by Sounds True.

Love and War in Intimate Relationships: Connection, Disconnection, and Mutual Regulation in Couple Therapy, with coauthor Marion Solomon, available through W. W. Norton’s Interpersonal Neurobiology Series.

Website: https://thepactinstitute.com/

Facebook the PACT Institute: https://www.facebook.com/PactTrainingInstitute

Facebook for Dr. Stan Tatkin: https://www.facebook.com/drstantatkin/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

How to Talk to Our Kids About Gender Identity & Sexuality

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 28 Jul 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Research has confirmed that suicide rates and suicidal ideation among lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) youth are significantly higher than among the general population. And sadly, LGBT adolescents also have the highest rate of suicide attempts, which the research believes is due to the bullying related to homophobia as well as rejection by families and parents.

The topic of gender non-conforming and transgender is widely discussed in social media and the news but yet many parents don't really know how to talk about it with their own children. Knowing that acceptance of their child can literally save their lives, many listeners who are seeing signs and suspect their child is on the LGBT spectrum have asked: "How do I talk to my kid and let them know it's okay they are gay or trans before they are ready to come out to me?"

Today's guest is Sarah Gilbert. She is a licensed therapist with a practice in Connecticut called Transitions Therapy and she specializes in working with the transgender community.

In this episode, you will hear:

The differences between sexuality and gender identity
How to bring up the topic if you suspect your child is on the LGBTQ spectrum
What should parents definitely NOT do if their kid comes out to them
What ages do kids actually know their own gender identity and sexual preferences
The role of therapy for families

Resources
Transitions Therapy website
Transitions Therapy Facebook
PFLAG

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

How To Cut Ties With Toxic Family with Dr. Elizabeth Cohen

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 21 Jul 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Many of you are here to listen to One Broken Mom because you identify with the fact that you may have a complicated childhood and family of origin history. And what you are presently addressing in your life can be just your own healing and self-development or it can be in combination with parenting you own children if you have them.

Some of us in life, despite the challenges or adversities we’ve experienced, are able to maintain some degree of connection with our family and some of us, elect to limit contact.

Now, unfortunately, there are some of you out there who actually feel trapped by your family in some way. I’ve heard from some listeners who say that they have parents that have control of their finances and they are unable to leave because they don’t have the money. Others feel trapped by the shame and guilt from feeling responsible for the care of their parent’s needs or perhaps the needs of siblings who are less fortunate.

So on this episode, Ameé is speaking with Dr. Elizabeth Cohen.

Dr. Cohen received her Ph.D. in clinical psychology from Boston University and is considered one of New York City’s experts in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy through her private practice.

Dr. Cohen was the recipient of the prestigious American Psychological Foundation Research Award for her doctoral research. Following her time at BU, Dr. Cohen completed her pre-doctoral internship at Bellevue Hospital Center and the New York University Child Study Center. After completing her training, she was asked to become the Director of the CBT program at Bellevue’s Outpatient Psychiatry Clinic.

Dr. Cohen has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, NBC News, Women’s Health, Huff Post, Thrive Global and, Good Housekeeping. And she also has a podcast called Off the Couch.

In this episode, you will hear:

Are people every really trapped or captive or is it really a belief they are
What kinds of families and family members are the ones we should consider cutting off, either emotionally or even physically
What happens when we marry or meet someone with a toxic family and we think our partner should separate from them
How to talk with our children about cutting off family members
Is repair possible with family members we’ve cut off
What do you recommend for people who are perhaps being financially abused or manipulated
What are some tools or strategies for clean breaks from toxic family members
What should someone expect the reactions to be when they cut someone off

Resources Mentioned in this episode:

https://drelizabethcohen.com/

Alice Miller’s “The Body Never Lies” on Amazon

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Broken Mom: Mom of 18

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 14 Jul 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Jenn Taylor is a motivational speaker, parenting coach, author, and podcaster. who lives in Reno, Nevada with her husband and 18 children. That is not a typo. Eighteen children

Jenn has gone through a period of infertility and then seven pregnancies, a miscarriage that nearly killed her, and has 12 years of foster parenting under her belt. She's been divorced, a single mom and experienced life with a blended family. In this episode, you will hear Jenn share amazing story of her triumph over her trauma history that included molestation and abuse.

Also in this episode, you will hear:

The role her religious background played in her life
Her struggles with infertility and her miscarriages
What drew her to having a large family
Her coaching and speaking services for parents and people interested in fostering

Links:
Jenn's Facebook Page
Jenn's Website
Jenn's Book on Amazon

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Bouncing Back From Abuse As A Single Mom

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 07 Jul 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Today's episode features Kelly Lynch, a domestic violence survivor. After being trapped in her home at knife-point for two and a half hours by her husband, Kelly was able to remove herself from an abusive marriage and start over with an 18-month-old child. But Kelly is also therapist with practice out in Connecticut called Turning Point Wellness who recognized that her own story and experiences as well as being a mental health professional gave her some valuable insights for other young single mothers to turn their lives around at the moment in time that they probably feel it’s impossible to do so.

In this episode you will hear:

What is the "Cycle of Violence" in relationships

What are ways for a single mom to reconnect with herself?

How do you handle the shame of feeling like you “didn’t do enough” to save the relationship?

What are the signs someone should look for early in a relationship that indicates potential trouble?

What is The Unapology Project?

If you or someone you know is in a violent or abusive relationship, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline

Call 800-799-SAFE (7233).
Staff is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Get information in more than 170 languages.
You will hear a recording and may have to wait for a short time.
Hotline staff offers safety planning and crisis help. They can connect you to shelters and services in your area.
Staff can send out written information on topics such as domestic violence, sexual assault, and the legal system.
You can also get help through email or live chat on the hotline’s contact page

Other Resources from this episode:

Domestic Violence Resources for Women by State – U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, Office on Women’s Health

https://www.theunapologyproject.com/home

http://www.turningpointwellnessllc.com/

https://www.facebook.com/theunapologyproject

https://www.instagram.com/unapologetically.authentic/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

How to Find Love After A Relationship With a Narcissist with Wendy Behary

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 30 Jun 2019 05:00:00 GMT

This episode is a continuation of the topic narcissistic relationships due to many people writing to Ameé – men and women – expressing their frustrations at repeating the patterns of falling into bed (literally and figuratively) with the same type of person over and over again.

So, for those of you still falling off the wagon and finding themselves attracted to another charismatic, over-the-top flattering personality, Ameé brings back to the show Wendy Behary, the author of "Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed" and the founder and Director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC and DC, to talk with Ameé about the next steps on your journey to towards finding more secure relationships – not just the ones with other people but more importantly – the secure relationship with YOURSELF.

In this episode, you will hear:

How will a person feel right after they have left a narcissistic/emotionally manipulative partner?

What should a person do then for themselves once they've left an emotionally traumatic situation like this?

Should they start dating someone new right away or wait?

What are some key self-examination things one should be doing or looking for about their relationship patterns?

What are the non-negotiable RED flags one has to look for if they want to avoid choosing another emotionally abusive partner?

Is there a dating process one could do, intentionally, so that red flags can be drawn out sooner than later.

What is the best way to break up or break it off with a narcissist?

Resources

Buy the book "Disarming the Narcissist"
Wendy Behary's Website

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

The Mama's Boy Myth: Unraveling the Big Lie with Kate Stone Lombardi

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 23 Jun 2019 13:00:00 GMT

Kate Stone Lombardi has been a journalist for more than 25 years. She was a frequent contributor to The New York Times, and for seven years wrote a popular regional column that focused on family issues. Her work has also appeared in The Wall Street Journal, Time, Ladies Home Journal, Parenting Magazine including a recent article published on GoodHousekeeping.com, which is where Ameé discovered her. Lombardi is the author of The Mama’s Boy Myth: Why Keeping Our Sons Close Makes Them Stronger, published by Avery, part of the Penguin Group (USA). And she also writes parenting advocacy articles on nexttribe.com and her recent article is called “How to Raise Sons Who Won’t Turn Out Like Harvey Weinstein”

In this episode you'll hear:

Why Kate decided to write the book

What did her research into the topic revealed were the reasons why women are driven "away" from their sons and developing close emotional relationships with them.

Why women and sons seem to have a sense of shame about their close relationships with each other

The differences between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy, enmeshed mother-son relationship

Where this topic fits into the current #MeToo discussions and definitions of masculinity

Resources from this episode:

Click here to Buy "The Mama's Boy Myth"

Kate Stone Lombardi’s Website

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Healing From Childhood PTSD with Anna Runkle

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 16 Jun 2019 05:00:00 GMT

This week's episode comes from a listener suggestion who emailed Ameé and said "Can you please interview Anna Runkle? Her Crappy Childhood Fairy course changed my life!"

Anna Runkle is a coach and writer who recovered from her own Childhood PTSD and teachers others to heal the brain dysregulation that so often flows from early trauma and change self-defeating behaviors common to people with Childhood PTSD.

For anyone who's listened to the Season 2 monologue Ameé did, you would have heard Ameé share a particular moment in her life experiences that stood out and had lifelong consequences because as it would be determined 40 years later in therapy, the experience and the lack of caregiving following became a post-traumatic stress disorder for Ameé.

In fact, many adults have had traumatic and adverse experiences growing up that have gone unrecognized for decades that have created long-term problems for them such as emotional dysregulation, problems with focus that may have been misdiagnosed as ADD or ADHD, as well as anxiety and depression.

In this episode, you will hear:

The differences here between the PTSD we are familiar with veterans, first responders, victims of violence, etc. versus the traumas of childhood that have similar impacts on the brain of a child.
What kinds of events can be viewed as traumatic for children that adults might not see in that way
What are the signs an adult may have unhealed PTSD
Strategies for gaining control and starting the healing process

https://www.ameequiriconi.com/

Anna's The Crappy Childhood Fairy YouTube Channel

https://crappychildhoodfairy.com/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

How the Brain Changes in a Relationship with a Narcissist with Dr. Rhonda Freeman

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 09 Jun 2019 14:00:00 GMT

Dr. Freeman is a clinical neuropsychologist based out of Florida. She works with patients diagnosed with many types of neurological conditions including dementia and Alzheimer's. She also writes for Psychology Today, Huffington Post, and Aftermath Surviving Psychopathy. Amee was originally introduced to her and her work because of an article Rhonda had written called 6 Obstacles to a Relationship With a Psychopath that Amee's therapist shared with her in order to help her understand more of the issues related to detaching from her past relationship.

In this episode, Rhonda shares her personal experience as an emotional abuse survivor at the hands of a narcissist and how she applied her education and experience as a neuroscientist to healing, after trying to work with a therapist wasn't successful for her. You will learn about her process and her information website, Neuroinstincts – which is a neuroscience approach to healing from narcissistic and relational abuse.

In this episode:

How did Rhonda end up in the field of working with narcissistic abuse survivors
What is a psychopath and why is it important to use this term rather than just “Narcissist”?
How can a psychopath appear to be two different people?
As a woman who should have “known better” – did she also struggle with the shame?
How does the relationship with a psychopath change the brain of the partner?
What is trauma bonding and what is happening here, neurologically speaking?

Resources

Neuroinstincts on Facebook

https://neuroinstincts.com/

https://neurosagacity.com/

Article: The Brain Can Work Against Abuse Victims

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Why Women Don't Know Their Financial Worth with Dr. Brad Klontz

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 02 Jun 2019 05:00:00 GMT

The statistics are grim and appalling - women are clearly disadvantaged when it comes to wealth and money. So, the current thinking is that if more women are taught "financial literacy", this can change it. However, the statistics include all women - high school educated to business owners and while some financial literacy is definitely valuable, the root causes of this disparity are not being truly addressed.

In this episode, Amee speaks again with one of the world's leading financial psychologists and the author of (5) books on the topic including “Mind over Money: Overcoming the Money Disorders that Threaten Our Financial Health” , Dr. Brad Klontz about women and why it really is that they have a hard time identifying that they/we are selling ourselves short when it comes to our value and financial worth.

Ameé tackles this topic because she has seen it impacting women in two ways – one at a personal level and also, Ameé has seen money disorders affect women she coaches in business – in particular around the concept of “setting our value” that is what we should be charging for our products and services.

When Ameé has coached women business owners, many times the conversation circles around the topic of valuation and she has coached women out of the “emotional” aspects of thinking they are worth something to showing them how to find “facts” – how to set pricing, how to find out what the market is paying for certain services, on and on – in a dispassionate way and use that as a way of breaking through their emotional barriers to see their own worth.

But there is another phenomenon when it comes to women business owners & entrepreneurs and that is when the business bank account is the same as the household account – meaning that it’s all treated as personal income – the business can suffer greatly due to carrying whatever money disorders you have driving your thoughts and behaviors – you can’t really separate the two areas of your life from one another and you may be unable to achieve profitability – you may be “successful” in terms of sales and market penetration BUT at the end of the day, this business may not increase your wealth as much as you’d hoped because you are carrying around, as Brad likes to call it “unfinished business” in your life that needs to be understood and tackled.

And finally, the research shows that women tend to leave the workforce to stay home as the caregiver, which interrupts their momentum in their careers – and that is driven sometimes, by the fact that since she’s already “earning” less, then it makes more financial sense for the husband (if that’s the case) to continue to work – so women can be trapped into a vicious cycle. So are women sacrificing their careers, again from the unfinished business and scripts they have been taught in their lives instead of doing it because they really want to?

In this episode, you'll hear:

What are some of the typical "unfinished business" scripts or messages women get in their lives that is different from what men are perhaps told or shown as it relates to money and value?
What common money disorders women have?
How often is a money disorder directly related to money itself?
When we talk about the gender gap in salaries, how much do you think is a combination of what society teaches men about money/wealth & women and what women are led to believe in terms of letting other people tell them how much they are worth?
How do these messages women receive impact on couples and how their different viewpoints can cause relationship problems?
How much can financial literacy actually help a woman change her financial

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

What To Do When Your Teen is Acting Like an A-Hole with Jax Anderson

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 26 May 2019 05:00:00 GMT

For parents with teens, tweens or kids that will be at some point, this episode is a great one to listen to. Ameé speaks with a favorite repeat guest, Jax Anderson - a Wisconsin-based family therapist that specializes in teenagers. Together, they have a frank (meaning adult words) and super helpful conversation about how to parent teenagers when they are acting their worst.

As Ameé mentions in the episode, it's always really easy to parent when things are good and pat yourself on the back for your awesome skills but messy feelings are a part of life and our kids have more of them than our co-workers or friends do (and if that's not a true statement - rethink your job and your friends! Seriously.)

So, showing up and parenting when our kids' act, quite frankly, like a-holes is super tough - especially if you have wounds yourself and the confrontations trigger you. Jax provides some real tips and insights on how to do this. AND, guess what? If you actually practice and use them, I bet that the incidences of difficult, disrespectful behavior, will actually decrease.

Resources
Jax Anderson - The Psyko Therapist on Facebook
The Psyko Therapist Website

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Becoming a Trauma-Informed Parent: Suzy DeYoung

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 19 May 2019 14:00:00 GMT

Suzy is a parenting coach as well as a community outreach specialist. After a traumatic experience with her own son years ago, she recognized a need for better understanding how to prepare for the residual effects of the stored trauma and to inform others about it.

Following the 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings, she became active in Newtown’s recovery efforts working as Community Outreach Director for a local non-profit and co-founding the annual, Newtown Yoga Festival. In 2014, she joined The Newtown Recovery and Resiliency Team as a care coordinator. The team, funded by the US Department of Justice, was established to assist community members in accessing therapeutic and financial resources in the post-traumatic aftermath of the Sandy Hook School shootings.

She also has a book, “A Gift of Hindsight: Reflections of Successes. Failures and Lessons Learned from Seasoned Parents and Parenting Experts” was published in 2018. And she has also written for Grown & Flown and The Huffington Post.

Presently, she works with The Avielle Foundation as co-host and producer of, The Brainstorm Experience Speaker Series. .The Avielle Foundation, established in honor of seven-year-old Avielle Rose Richman who lost her life in the Sandy Hook Elementary School Shootings, works to prevent violence and to build compassion through neuroscience research, community engagement and education.

In this episode, you'll hear:

Her backstory on the introduction to childhood trauma
How she became involved with the Sandy Hook Tragedy and, years later, what is still happening today to address the trauma of that experience
Her work with the Avielle Foundation and how she become involved there
Dr. Jeremy Richman, the founder of the Avielle Foundation, and what the organization is doing today after his recent death by suicide
What is the purpose and mission of her advocacy and coaching work

How To Connect:

Trauma Informed Parent on Facebook

https://traumainformedparent.com/

https://aviellefoundation.org/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Season 2 Intro: My Broken Mom

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 12 May 2019 12:00:00 GMT

For the first time, Amee gets even more personal and shares a few of the details of her life with her own mother, including the "night that broke" her. She also details how she planned on using the time between seasons to talk with her mother about her work and her recovery but a life-changing event between seasons changed everything.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Ending the Cycle of Narcissistic Relationships with Wendy Behary

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 31 Mar 2019 04:00:00 GMT

This is the last episode of Season 1 and I want to thank all of my listeners who have joined in with the journey over the past 10 months.

Today is not just any episode or interview – in fact, really, none of them have been that way but this one is incredibly important and special.

On December 17, I was reading what was I believe my third book in a month on narcissism because even though I didn’t see it even then – still trapped in a narcissistic relationship that, as I would discover in the next year of therapy – was extremely traumatizing – even more so than I knew – of course until I tried to leave it all behind and couldn’t shake it off for months and months.

I NEVER knew or believed up until this book on that day in December a year and a half ago that I was actually attracted to THEM, perhaps just as strongly as they were attracted to me.

And, up until that day – while I walked around like everyone else with our bag of bad childhood experiences and memories – my mantra was the “Past is the past. It has nothing to do with what you do today.” And I realized in a flash when I read the words “childlike and powerless” in a paragraph on page 63 of the book – that I was wrong.

Those memories were everything.

And in the course of the last year, as many of you have listened along the way, you have heard me describe resetting dip switches in my brain as the healing has been happening – well this was the first dip switch to click into place.

From there, I traveled into the world of childhood trauma, emotional neglect. I started therapy less than month later and went every week for 3 months. And I adjusted the sails on the boat immediately with my children when I realized that if I didn’t correct myself right then and there – I would be planting similar experiences and memories into THEIR brains.

I couldn’t change my past BUT I could change their future. And this is why this show, One Broken Mom, exists today

So, today, to say its an honor is an understatement to have with me Wendy Behary – the author of the book that literally changed my life - “Disarming the Narcissist”. Because it seems to fit to end my first season at the beginning of the story.

In this episode you will hear us talk about:

1. An overview of the narcissistic personality

2. Schemas & Scripts and how they are created and the work of Jeffrey Young in the treatment of the Narcissistic personality disorder.

3. How these Schemas and scripts drive some of us to co-habitat with Narcissists over and over again.

4. What are the Personal Traps we fall into with narcissistic people

5. How some of us ‘chose’ even subconsciously to be with a manipulative or abusive person and how this happens

6. The other ways that the maladaptive schemas that link us up with Narcissists hurt us in other areas of life and with other non-Narcissists

7. What kind of work should someone do on themselves first before they tackle trying to manage a relationship with a narcissist

Resources:
Wendy Behary's Website
Disarming the Narcissist Book

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Understanding our History of Parenting

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 24 Mar 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Ameé brings back on to the show Karine Bell. Karine is a healing mother as well as a somatic experience therapist who hosts a podcast called “Bold as Love.” Karine’s work is aimed directly as mothers who are undertaking the task of healing childhood traumas in themselves so that they can become the powerful parent they have always wanted to be.

In this episode, Ameé and Karine talk about the cultural influences over the last century and how the parenting advice our parents and grandparents was developed. Because by looking at what the leading pop child psychologists of the early 20th century, we can start to see some of the flawed and dangerous thinking that became the ‘norm’ for many mothers that resulted in unintentional childhood traumas in our families.

Topics in the Episode Include:

The introduction of Child Psychology and the leading ideas from Luther Emmett Holt and John Watson
How The Great Depression and World War II affected our grandparents and parents
Dr. Spock and his guidance to mothers in 1946 to trust their instincts
What to do when our “instincts” are mixed with trauma
The flaws with crowd-sourcing for parenting advice on social media today

Resources

Karine Bell’s Website
Bold as Love Podcast Link

Karine Bell on Instagram
Karine Bell on Facebook

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Our Sons, Our Men, Our Relationships

A.D. Virelle — Sat, 16 Mar 2019 04:00:00 GMT

This episode was inspired by a question from a listener who was feeling a bit paralyzed by what is “okay” in terms of teaching her son about boundaries, consent, flirting, etc. in the wake of #MeToo.

So, through a series of events, and referrals, it was suggested Mark Greene was THE GUY. Mark is a Senior Editor with The Good Men Project and the author of “The Little #MeToo Book for Men”.

Dr. Saliha Bava, a researcher and therapist, co-authored another book with Mark called "The Relational Book for Parenting."

This episode tackles the conversation of how our culture influences our view of what it means to be a "man" and its influences on our parenting of our sons. However, the episode goes beyond a "How to" for talking to sons about sexuality and consent in the #MeToo world but into how we strip both our sons and daughters of natural human parts of their sense of self and, for sons and men in particular, limit their abilities to engage with our natural sense of empathy. And if we learn how to form connections with one another, in all relationships, the questions of what is "right" and what is "wrong" wouldn't appear to be so confusing and conflicted.

Topics in this episode include:

Why did Mark write the Little MeToo Book for Men?
Describe the Man Box Culture that gags a silent majority of men today?
How a breakdown in the relationships between men, themselves and women is an intentional part of the Man Box?
What do men say they wished they learned from their parents?
How does empathy help us all navigate the messy world of sexuality & consent?
What are ways to teach and improve our empathy skills?
What changes in parenting today have to start to happen?

Resources from the Episode

www.thinkplaypartners.com

http://remakingmanhood.com/

Dr. Saliha Bava's Website

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

How Moms Need to Talk To Our Daughters about Sexuality

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 10 Mar 2019 05:00:00 GMT

On this episode, Ameé speaks to Joyce McFadden, a psychologist and author of the book “Modern Mothering: What Daughters Say They Need from their Mothers Regarding Sexual Development and Its Impact On Their Self Worth”

Joyce has an MSW from Columbia University and five years of postgraduate training in psychoanalysis, she is a faculty member, training analyst and clinical supervisor at the Training and Research Institute for Self Psychology, board member of the National Council on Women’s Health, member of the Women’s Mental Health Consortium, and sexuality consultant for an independent girls’ school. She is a featured writer for the Huffington Post, and her research has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, NPR, O The Oprah Magazine, The Detroit Free Press, New York Magazine’s The Cut, Ms.Magazine.com, CNN.com, Medium.com, Feminist.com, and the Women’s Media Center.

Driven by the internal tug of war that has left me in just a “freeze” state regarding what to say and how to behave with struggling with knowing how to talk to her own daughter about sexuality, being provocative, and slut-shaming, Ameé asks Joyce about how to best do that.

Other topics covered in this episode include:

The results of Joyce's research study that laid the groundwork of her book "Modern Mothering"
How speaking to our daughters about following and trusting their instincts goes beyond the bedroom
Learning how to understand the difference between sexuality and sexual objectification
How NOT talking to our daughters about sexuality leaves our daughters feeling abandoned, even if there is a good relationship in other areas

Resources:
Joyce McFadden's Website
Modern Mothering Facebook Page
Modern Mothering on Instagram

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

Understanding Childhood Emotional Neglect with Dr. Jonice Webb

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 03 Mar 2019 05:00:00 GMT

This week's episode features Dr. Jonice Webb. She is the author of the best-selling book Running on Empty: Overcome your Childhood Emotional Neglect. And has just published a follow-up to the book Running on Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships With Your Partner, Your Parents and Your Children.

Because like many people out there – when you use words like trauma and neglect – they feel too strong to describe what was, yes, a challenging childhood, and so it is easy to reject looking into any subject matter around the topic, especially if you are a person who feels that you have overcome adversities and challenges.

But if you are a person who is still committing acts of self-sabotage such as bad romantic relationships, or have feelings of anxiety or depression frequently, and you have never been able to put a finger on any particular event or experience in your life that may have contributed to them, the concept of childhood emotional neglect just might be the key to unlocking the mystery.

In this episode, Ameé and Dr. Webb discuss the following:

What is Childhood Emotional Neglect?
The common types of parents who are more apt to create this emotionally phobic or neglectful environment.
Now, how does someone feel like an adult if they did experience this lack of emotional connection from parents? What are the outcomes & behaviors typically seen?
How does a person who has experienced childhood emotional neglect parent their own kids from an empty tank?
Do you have to confront your own parents to heal from CEN?
What's the first step to healing yourself from CEN?

Resources:

Dr. Jonice Webb's Website
Dr. Jonice Webb's Facebook Page
Dr. Jonice Webb's YouTube Channel
Dr. Jonice Webb on Instagram
Dr. Jonice Webb on Twitter

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

1.37 Mental Health and Pop Culture: What TV & Movies Can Teach Us

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 24 Feb 2019 13:00:00 GMT

In a slight departure from the norm of One Broken Mom, Ameé brings on therapist and fellow podcaster, Ryan Englestead from the show Pop Psych 101.

By day, he’s a clinical psychologist in New Jersey.

By night, he’s part of a dynamic duo of podcasters who do a show called Pop Psych 101. A show that dives into the mental wellness (or illness) of characters you know, love and maybe hate on TV, in movies and books.

In this episode, Ameé and Ryan talk about the portrayal of characters in movies and TV shows and where writers get the mental wellness "right" and where it's dangerously wrong. But, in the end, they team up to save the day and talk about how movies and television can be used to find relatable ways to discuss mental wellness and concerns such as depression, anxiety and suicide between ourselves and perhaps with our own children.

Other topics in the show include:

Have you ever noted any dangerous or untrue messages being put out in movies or television shows?
So what do you think it means when people like certain types of movies – action, spy movies, horror or Rom-Com’s?
Do you think there is value in using movies & TV shows as a way to help our kids learn empathy?
What if our kids have an interest in darker themes, especially adolescents - Should we worry?
How can superhero movies or stories help some people as they are dealing with adversity in their personal lives.
Finally, Ameé and Ryan break down some of the main characters of Marvel's Avengers and over-analyze it all!

Resources
Pop Psych 101 on Facebook
Pop Psych 101 Website

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

1.36 How Rheumatoid Disorders, Trauma, and Physiology May Be Linked

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 17 Feb 2019 05:00:00 GMT

In honor of Rheumatoid Awareness Day, Amee speaks again with Veronique Mead,a family physician and assistant professor who changed careers looking for a better understanding and more effective tools for working with chronic illness.

Following their interview in December, Amee applied some of the new information presented and began to see more clearly specific triggers to her disease. In this episode, Dr. Mead talks more deeply about the Cell Danger Response and its possible role in many chronic illnesses, including autoimmune disorders like Rheumatoid Arthritis.

Also, using Amee's real life experiences, Dr. Mead explains what is happening in the nervous system when our bodies natural Fight or Flight responses are instigated when confronted with danger. And how, for some people who have experienced childhood traumas, may be stuck in a "Fight, Flight, or Freeze" response.

Finally, Amee presents an opportunity for listeners and others with RA to participate in a confidential survey to see if there are some common threads between her experiences with RA, childhood and triggers - in an effort to continue to raise questions and awareness with hopes of finding holistic treatments for RA and other chronic illnesses.

Resources and Links:

The RA History Survey by Amee Quiriconi
Dr. Mead's website www.chronicillnesstraumastudies.com
Chronic Illness Trauma Studies on Facebook
Dr. Mead's Article showing links between RA & Adverse Babyhood Experiences
Dr. Mead's Article showing links between RA & Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)
Video: Dr. Naviaux's Presentation of Cell Danger Response

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

1.35 Mind Over Money: Unraveling the Big Lies About Money Problems with Dr. Brad Klontz

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 10 Feb 2019 05:00:00 GMT

In this episode, Ameé interviews Dr. Brad Klontz and pulls back the curtain on her own financial past and starts to remove the stigma and shame of talking about money problems and the Big Lie about why even "smart" people do "dumb" things when it comes to their personal finances.

Bradley T. Klontz, Psy.D., CFP® is a Founder of the Financial Psychology Institute ® and an Associate Professor of Practice in Financial Psychology at Creighton University Heider College of Business. He is a Managing Principal of Your Mental Wealth® Advisors, a Fellow of the American Psychological Association, and a Former President of the Hawaii Psychological Association.

He has partnered with organizations including JP Morgan Chase and H&R Block in efforts to help raise public awareness around issues related to financial health and financial psychology.

Dr. Klontz has been a columnist for the Journal of Financial Planning, On Wall Street, and PsychologyToday.com and has co-authored/co-edited five books on the psychology of money including “Mind over Money.”

His work has been featured on ABC News’ 20/20, Good Morning America, and in USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, New York Times, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Time, Kiplinger’s, Money Magazine, NPR and many other media outlets and professional magazines and journals.

Topics Covered Include:

Why are people embarrassed to talk about money problems
Why hasn't psychology addressed this before as a mental wellness issue
What is a money disorder and the main types of disorders
What "scripts" about money were passed down to us that affect our views of money and our lifestyle
How does our "unfinished business" can affect our money decisions
What messages are we giving our kids about money
Why are some people trapped in a certain socio-economic bracket even when they want to move up

Resources
What Are Your Money Scripts Assessment
The Money Disorders Assessment
Dr. Brad's YouTube Channel (Free Videos)

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

1.34 What You Need to Know About Neuroscience

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 03 Feb 2019 05:00:00 GMT

What made Amee perk up and get serious about changing herself was reading the scientific information and research that was showing emotions ARE based in science and biology. That they aren’t accidental. They aren’t the luck of the draw. And that we are governed every day by auto pilot functions in our brain while primitive still completely necessary. And that the auto pilot settings were established by not only the quantity of experiences but also the QUALITY of these experiences we had in childhood!

But the urgency was in seeing that the understanding of brain architecture and the influence of our experiences on the development of our emotions, mental wellness, mental illness was only recent. As in – while Amee was growing up and even starting her own family, what scientists know today was JUST becoming understood.

Grasping this one thing – the fact that the science is THERE but the fact that its not well known or has reached a saturation in our society yet is EXACTLY why Amee started to podcast and become an advocate for understanding how our negative, traumatic, adverse, neglectful, sometimes abusive and scary childhood experiences we all have had in one form or another – is why we, as adults – have the health and well-being issues we have today.

AND if we don’t change or become aware of what these experiences are and what impacts they have on our brains, we will keep passing down from one generation to the next through the mis-guided parenting of our own kids.

"Advances in brain and behavioral research have fueled a new sense of urgency about learning and school-readiness in children. Breakthroughs in brain science show how the cultural environment alters children’s brain development. Discoveries in behavioral science document the fact that early learning sets the foundation for success in school and in life."

This episode features Amelia Bachleda, Ph.D.

Outreach and Education Specialist
Institute for Learning & Brain Sciences (I-LABS)

In this role, Dr. Bachleda translates and delivers accessible information about the latest research in early learning and brain development to members of the early learning community, including parents, child care providers, educators and policymakers. Since joining I-LABS in 2015, Dr. Bachleda has given dozens of public talks and workshops about the neuroscience of childhood and brain development.

Prior to her work at I-LABS, Dr. Bachleda earned a B.S. in Neurobiology at the University of Washington and a Ph.D. in neurobiology at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill. Her graduate work focused on brain and sensory development. She has also developed content and curriculum materials for the Smithsonian Institution in Washington, DC and the Museum of Life and Science in Durham, NC.

Key Topics Discussed In This Episode

What is different about the study of the brain development today versus 30, 20 or even 10 years ago?
What are the distinct phases of brain development in humans?
Do boys & girls have different brains?
Are there people who are more “sensitive” than others? Meaning there are those who may render their environment differently than someone sitting next to them seeing & experiencing the exact same thing? Is the genetic?
In psychology, there is Attachment Theory which states that a strong emotional and physical attachment to at least one primary caregiver is critical to personal development. Is there anything in neuroscience that supports this?
I have heard from many of my guests that are psychologists that we are “wired” to connect when we are children. What does that actually mean?
How do neuroscientists define “trauma” and “traumatic experiences”? Is different than psychologists?
Explain neuroplasticity

References & Links

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1.33 Narcissistic Mother: The Scapegoat Child

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 27 Jan 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Back on One Broken Mom is Michelle Piper. Michelle is a Marriage and Family Therapist based out of San Diego. She has both a personal and professional interest in the adult children of narcissistic mothers. And has a website www.narcissisticmother.com where she provides valuable resources for survivors of narcissistic abuse.

We’ve talked about the Narcissistic Mother as a type of Broken Mom and then drilled down into the different family roles the children end up being forced into, starting the Golden/Hero, then the Lost Child, The Mascot and now we’re at the last one – the Scapegoat.

Which I think fits nicely because I feel the personality of this child is little like “Screw you everyone, I’m outta here!” and so it feels like a suitable conclusion in many ways!

Scapegoated Child

"Nothing you did was ever good enough. What may have satisfied your narcissistic mother one day could disappoint her the next.

If you expressed you felt your mother treated you unfairly, she might have led you to believe that you were crazy and ungrateful. The “love” and “thoughtfulness” she gave you through her constant criticism was to be treasured.

If you did something of value and worth, you may have been cut down and made to believe that your accomplishments had no meaning in your narcissistic mother’s eyes. Or, you could have been elevated and bragged about to the point of objectification. (See Chosen, Hero or Golden child below.)

Why do we talk about this in detail? Because we are wired to idealize our parents and in particular our “Mom

Not only does a narcissistic mother neglect to nurture her child as a healthy mother would, but sadly her abuse turns you against yourself — often without you even realizing it initially.

To recover from narcissistic abuse, you need to be aware of what has happened to you and what is likely to happen to you as a result of having a narcissistic mother."

Topics Covered in This Episode

Becoming addicted to negative intensity
The different types of Scapegoats in a family
The emotional & intellectual abuse that results
Knowing the difference between self-esteem and self-blame
The vulnerabilities Scapegoats develop as a result of their survival mechanisms
The strengths of the Scapegoat
How to manage the best way to approach confrontation when you have become addicted to intensity
Understanding the role of anger and anxiety

UPDATE: Since this episode was released, Michelle has since retired from the field of therapy and coaching. Therefore all links to her site have been removed.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

1.32 It's Not a Myth - Real Men Feel

A.D. Virelle — Sat, 19 Jan 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Andy Grant is the best-selling author of the book "STILL HERE: How to Succeed in Life After Failing At Suicide" as well as an award-winning speaker, Transformational Energy Coach, Akashic Records Reader, and suicide prevention activist. He holds a variety of coaching & psychology certificates and very experienced with leadership programs and energy work modalities.

Andy is also the founder of Real Men Feel, a movement encouraging men to come out of the emotional closet. He also facilitates monthly men’s groups. As a survivor of multiple suicide attempts, Andy knows how low we as human beings can feel, and he is committed to helping people realize how magnificent life is meant to be.

On the episode, Andy and Ameé discuss the following and more:

Gillette's new short film addressing toxic masculinity and the backlash. Click link to watch.
Andy's Trauma Story and history with multiple suicide attempts
The Good Men Project
How it is to get men to open up
What are some of the messages men have received about feelings & emotions growing up
Do only men who have extreme trauma stories like sexual or physical abuse, extreme neglect seek coaching and therapy

How To Find Andy Grant
Andy's Website
The Real Men Feel Podcast
Real Men Feel on Facebook

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Call 1-800-273-8255 Available 24 hours everyday

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1.31 One Broken Mom: Recovering Mom

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 13 Jan 2019 05:00:00 GMT

In this episode, Amee interviews a fellow "Broken Mom", Melissa Kreutz. Melissa is a recovering alcoholic who became a mother while on her journey of sobriety. Today, she supports other mothers where ever they are on their own path of recovery through her own blog, Mommy Without Wine, as well as the non-profit organization, Sober Mommies.

In this episode, listen as Melissa shares her story of hitting rock bottom as an alcoholic and what its like to be in sobriety in a culture that glorifies alcohol and makes light of wine-drinking moms. Amee and Melissa also talk about the likely contributions to her addiction from her experiences growing up, and Melissa shares her strategies that work at helping her maintain her focus on sobriety.

Click to go to the other Resources mentioned in this episode:
Sober Mommies Facebook Group
Mommy Without Wine Facebook Page
Melissa's Instagram
Alcoholics Anonymous
Co-Dependents Anonymous
Narcotics Anonymous

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

1.30 How Trauma Affects Learning

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 06 Jan 2019 17:00:00 GMT

In another "No Children Required" episode, Amee talks to Ron Hertel, the Program Supervisor for Washington State's "Compassionate Schools" program. Building upon the groundbreaking research from the ACE's study (Adverse Childhood Experiences), educators and researchers are beginning to understand that a child's hardships, traumas or adversities they face at home have significant impacts on the skills they need to be successful in school. In fact, it is being seen that what was previously thought to be a "mental illness" in a child might actually only be symptomatic of their current, traumatic situation.

This episode is for parents of children of all ages, educators and even adults who may have struggled in school and received a label but still carry with them into adult the lingering effects.

Resources Mentioned on the Episode

When we think of educating the whole child, their social and emotional development must be considered as a part of overall instruction. SEL is broadly understood as a process through which individuals build awareness and skills in managing emotions, setting goals, establishing relationships, and making responsible decisions that support success in school and in life.

http://www.k12.wa.us/CompassionateSchools/HeartofLearning.aspx

http://www.k12.wa.us/CompassionateSchools/pubdocs/HelpTraumatizedChildLearn.pdf
http://www.k12.wa.us/StudentSupport/SEL/default.aspx

Childhood experiences, both positive and negative, have a tremendous impact on future violence victimization and perpetration, and lifelong health and opportunity. As such, early experiences are an important public health issue. Much of the foundational research in this area has been referred to as Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs).

ACEs can be prevented. Learn more about preventing ACEs in your community

https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/acestudy/index.html

Giving Kids The Tools They Need to Succeed

You want your kids to become their own best selves – academically, physically, socially, emotionally. You want them to be resilient in a constantly changing, ever more challenging world. You want them to be happy, healthy, and whole.

Yoga Calm can give them the tools they need to succeed.

Originally developed for classroom use, Yoga Calm is now used in a wide variety of clinical and therapeutic settings, including the Mayo Clinic and the University of Minnesota Masonic Children’s Hospital.

https://www.yogacalm.org/

Dr. Becky Bailey – Conscience Discipline

Searching for a better way to teach or parent children? Dr. Becky Bailey explores the concepts behind the life-changing discipline model called Conscious Discipline®.
http://www.ConsciousDiscipline.com
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8j3gF1dh_t4

Welcome to CASEL, the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning. Our mission is to help make evidence-based social and emotional learning (SEL) an integral part of education from preschool through high school. CASEL and our broad network of collaborators are working together to turn momentum for SEL into a national movement.

https://casel.org/

The Aspen Institute is a nonpartisan forum for v

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

1.29 Love Addiction & Relationships with Dr. Alexandra Katehakis

A.D. Virelle — Sat, 29 Dec 2018 17:00:00 GMT

When most people think of addictions, they only think it can be substance abuse, like alcohol or drugs. However, it very common to be addicted to the thrill and excitement one gets from sexual or romantic relationships. And this addiction can be as damaging to a person, their life and their family. Love addiction, which is a "bed fellow" of co-dependency, strikes many people and is not well understood. Listen as Amee interviews Dr. Alexandra Katehakis, a nationally-recognized expert in the field of sex and love addiction, and learn how a preoccupation with finding Mr. or Ms. Right can actually be a warning sign of a deeper concern.

The Center for Healthy Sex www.centerforhealthysex.com
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous https://slaafws.org/
Co-Dependents Anonymous http://coda.org/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

1.28 Healing Trauma in Our Body

A.D. Virelle — Mon, 17 Dec 2018 20:00:00 GMT

Amee brings Karine Bell, a licensed Somatic Experience therapist, to talk about her work with mothers and how she helps them break the inter-generational chain of trauma.

Karine is a somatic educator, embodiment specialist, researcher, anthropologist, contemplative practices practitioner and teacher. This episode introduced the somatic experience modality as a way of treating and healing from the grief, anger, and other stress responses mothers may have if they had an adverse childhood and want to excel at motherhood.

https://www.karinebell.com/
https://www.karinebell.com/podcast/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

1.27 Childhood Trauma and Our Health

A.D. Virelle — Sat, 01 Dec 2018 19:00:00 GMT

On this episode, Amee speaks with Veronique Mead,a family physician and assistant professor who changed careers looking for a better understanding and more effective tools for working with chronic illness.

On her website www.chronicillnessstudies.com, she has collected and shared the abundance of new research showing how adverse life events increase risk for sensitivity to infections, toxins, and other environmental stressors that increase risk and trigger onset of chronic disease.

Through sharing Amee's own experience and rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis, this episode shares the latest research that shows risk factors for autoimmune and other chronic diseases, as well as how life events are part of that risk, and explains why it's not in your head.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

1.26 Adult Children of Emotionally-Immature Parents with Dr. Lindsay Gibson

A.D. Virelle — Sat, 17 Nov 2018 18:00:00 GMT

Noted author and therapist, Dr. Lindsay Gibson, is back to talk with Amee about life as an adult who had emotionally-immature parents. When a child is in an environment that is leaving them starved of the emotional connections they need to develop properly, they find ways to survive. However, these survival mechanisms or adaptions to the environment become the norm and carry through into our adult life. Without developing self-awareness and understanding the types of parents we had and the environment we grew up in, we are apt to continue to relive or recreate our conditions over and over again.

Listen as Amee and Lindsay talk about the types of coping styles children develop and how they influence us as adults in parenting, romantic relationships and life in general.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

1.25 Narcissism: The Life of the Mascot Child

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 04 Nov 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Even before being verbal, a child can sense what he or she needs to do in order to receive the attention they need from their mother. And in the case of a narcissistic family dynamic, it is not unusual that the youngest benefits from watching the negative consequences of their older siblings actions and so they adopt the role of being the "court jester" in order to diffuse the tension in the room. Listen as guest Michelle Piper and Ameé talk about how the Mascot child evolves and what challenges lie ahead of them as an adult and parent.

Resources:

www.narcissisticmother.com

www.michellepiper.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

1.24 Understanding The Teenage Brain

A.D. Virelle — Sat, 27 Oct 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Ameé and Jax Anderson, the "Psykotherapist", tackle the confusing and frustrating realm of the teenage brain. What started as a topic to talk about bringing a reluctant child into therapy evolved into a much larger discussion of what is really going in the brain during the incredibly important years between 12 to 25 years old. This is a must-listen episode for parents of teens who are struggling to understand how to improve their relationships. It is also another eye-opening look at how our own childhood and the parenting we received may have influenced our actions and behaviors as adults.

Resources

https://www.psykotherapist.com/

https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

1.23 Narcissistic Mom: The Holiday Episode

A.D. Virelle — Fri, 19 Oct 2018 04:00:00 GMT

It's called the "preemptive strike" - that moment when your narcissistic mother or mother-in-law starts making plans for everyone for the holidays - in July - before you have had a chance to think about what you are going to do! Think this is crazy? If you have been involved in a narcissistic family dynamic, then you know that it is a fact of life. You also know that the holidays with a narcissistic parent is draining on you and everyone else, especially if there are children involved.

Listen as Michelle Piper and Ameé talk about how to survive the holidays with sanity and your relationships in tact.

Resources

www.narcissisticmother.com

www.michellepiper.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

1.22 How to NOT Eff Up Your Child Athlete

A.D. Virelle — Thu, 11 Oct 2018 04:00:00 GMT

There is little doubt that having your kids involved in a team-oriented activity, whether its band, the debate club or sports, can have a lasting and positive impact on their development, as well as provide critical skills that carry over into adulthood. However, over-zealous parents, abusive coaching, or forcing kids to play can all undermine whatever good you had hoped your child would gain by being an athlete. In fact, sports can be a major source of childhood trauma for kids with long-lasting negative impacts.

Listen to Amee and Jax Anderson, a former Division I basketball player and now therapist specializing in working with teens, talk about how parents DO hurt their kids through sports and how the whole experience can be done positively.

https://www.psykotherapist.com/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

1.21 Narcissim: The Life of The Lost Child

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 30 Sep 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Family therapist and coach, Michelle Piper is back to continue to discuss the narcissistic family and the roles children and adults take on for survival. In this episode, Michelle explains the role of the Lost Child to Amee and how a person may have been in this role on a long-term or even temporary basis from time to time. This is a great episode for developing some self-awareness around your own family, especially if there was any form of addiction involved or your family experienced a change in socio-economic conditions, such as job loss or divorce.

Resources

www.narcissisticmother.com

Co-Dependants Anonymous: http://coda.org/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

1.20 Understanding Your Kid at College

A.D. Virelle — Sat, 22 Sep 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Spurred on by (17) suicides in only two years on campus, Colorado State University wanted to do more to take care of the mental wellness needs of their students. Therefore, they reached out to the creators of ManTherapy.org for some help.

In this episode, Dr. Nathaan Demers returns to talk with Amee about what parents need to know about their kids and what the mental health challenges are for them once they head off for college. The statistics are sobering but the results of Grit Digital Health's platform, YouAtCollege.com, are encouraging.

https://gritdigitalhealth.com/https://youatcollege.com/https://you.colostate.edu/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

1.19 Broken Mom: Perinatal Mood Disorders

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 16 Sep 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Approximately 14-20% of all women suffer from some sort of perinatal mood disorder. Listen as Amee interviews Ann Smith, President of Postpartum Support International - a US-based organization established to increase awareness about the emotional changes women undergo during and after childbirth. In this episode, you will hear about the common symptoms for PMD, treatments that are available and where and when to get help.

http://www.postpartum.net/

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1.18 How To Raise Children Who Won't Have to Recover From Their Childhood with Pam Leo

A.D. Virelle — Fri, 24 Aug 2018 04:00:00 GMT

There is no doubt that Pam Leo has changed and affected literally thousands and thousands of lives in her decades of work teaching parents. She is a writer, speaker, educator and like me, an avid reader and learner.

Since the explosion of social media, Pam has gained additional "internet fame" with her quote "Let's raise children who won't have to recover from their childhoods." Spurred on by this very quote, Amee reached out to Pam Leo to see if she would sit down and talk about how exactly to do this.

Listen as the two of them discuss Pam's book, Connection Parenting and how we can all learn so much more about ourselves - even if we're not parents - by understanding more about how we were raised.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

1.17 Emotional Development From 0-12 Months

A.D. Virelle — Tue, 21 Aug 2018 04:00:00 GMT

This episode features Ayelet Marinovich. She is a pediatric speech-language pathologist, a singer, parent educator, theater person, storyteller, and partner. She is also the author of Understanding Your Baby: A Week-By-Week Development & Activity Guide For Playing With Your Baby From Birth to 12 Months. On this episode, she talks with Amee about activities a parent can do with their baby that supports positive emotional and other developmental milestones.

Resources: www.strengthinwords.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

1.16 Narcissism and Understanding The Golden and The Hero Child

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 12 Aug 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Living in a narcissistic family system means that you likely had a role placed on you by your narcissistic parent. Or, depending on circumstances, the roles may have been switched around. In any case, this role has carried on with you throughout your life and has influenced you in ways you may not have ever known. It's likely shaped your business relationships, your romantic relationships, and your friendships. Amee and Michell Piper get together again to discuss in this episode who the Golden Child and the Hero Child were and what challenges these children have as adults. Resources:www.narcissisticmother.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

1.15 Broken Moms: Emotionally-Immature Mom with Dr. Lindsay Gibson

A.D. Virelle — Sun, 05 Aug 2018 04:00:00 GMT

In this episode, Amee speaks with Dr. Lindsay Gibson, the author of "Adult Children of Emotionally-Immature Parents" about life with this type of parent and what happens to you as an adult. About the Book (From New Harbinger Publications) "If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent's behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life. In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents' emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you'll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life." Resources: http://www.drlindsaygibson.com/ http://www.tidewaterwomen.com/insights/well-being Buy The Book: https://amzn.to/2AKFhvG

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1.14 A How-To Guide For Choosing A Therapist

A.D. Virelle — Thu, 02 Aug 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Deciding to start working with a counselor or therapist can be one of the most important and life-changing decisions you'll make. But with some of the stigma around mental health and "shrinks", people are too afraid to ask questions. Listen as Amee speaks with her personal therapist, Althea Brandis, and they talk about why therapy is important, how to find someone, what the differences are between mental health professionals, and what the whole process is really like.Resources:http://www.cascadeviewcs.com/Online Therapy Resources: Betterhelp.com/onebrokenmom

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1.13 Men Have Feelings Too Apparently

A.D. Virelle — Tue, 31 Jul 2018 04:00:00 GMT

In this episode, Amee talks with Dr. Nathaan Demers. He is the VP & Director of Clinical Programs at Grit Digital Health, the team behind ManTherapy.org. Grit Digital Health is a business comprised of specialists in behavioral health, wellness, technology and marketing communications. In the world of mental health, they are doing work transcending barriers like stigmas and creating access points to allow people to get the support they need when they need it."Working aged men (25-54 years old) account for the largest number of suicide deaths in the U.S. These men are also the least likely to receive any kind of support. They don't talk about it with their friends. They don't share with their family. And they sure as heck don't seek professional treatment. They are the victims of problematic thinking that says mental health disorders are unmanly signs of weakness."Resources:www.mantherapy.orghttps://gritdigitalhealth.com/https://cactusinc.com/

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1.11 Broken Moms: Millennial Mom

A.D. Virelle — Fri, 27 Jul 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Meet Aminah Haghighi. She has a podcast called Unapparenthood -- a weekly program that tells the true stories about pregnancy, parenthood, and entrepreneurship for first time, millennial parents.Aminah and Amee talk about what it was like to grow up with a narcissistic mother, have a partner who is also dealing with the impacts of childhood-related traumas, and their hopefulness of a better future for themselves and their new baby. Amee and Aminah also touch on the myth of the "Entitled" Millennial vilified in media today and what might actually be going on in this generation's minds. https://unapparenthood.com/ Betterhelp.com/onebrokenmom

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1.10 What Are Our Daughters Trying To Tell Us?

A.D. Virelle — Mon, 23 Jul 2018 04:00:00 GMT

With suicide in teen girls rising in the United States, understanding and connecting with our daughters is more important than ever these days. Amee brings on to One Broken Mom Mallory Grimste, a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in working with teen girls to talk about what our daughters are thinking about these days. This is a Teen Safe episode so that parents and teens can listen together. For more information, visit Mallory's page at mallorygrimste.com/onebrokenmom

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1.9 Broken Moms: The Narcissistic Mom

A.D. Virelle — Wed, 18 Jul 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Growing up with a self-centered mother is not only painful and confusing during childhood but it will also impact how you choose people to be around as an adult. Listen to Michelle Piper, a therapist who specializes in treating survivors of narcissistic families, talk about the impact of Narcissistic Moms on our lives.Michelle Piper has a practice based out of San Diego, California and also manages her www.narcissisticmother.com website, where she offers advice and understanding of the narcissism spectrum and how to live with the narcissist in our lives. Listen as Amee and Michelle discuss why first knowing if you grew up with a narcissistic mother can be the key to unlocking all of the other troubles you may be experiencing in all aspects of your life and how to start your recovery.

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1.12 The Toxic Power of "I Love You" in a Co-Dependent Relationship

A.D. Virelle — Mon, 16 Jul 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Moving on from a co-dependent relationship can be extremely hard, especially if both partners are telling each other they love them. While they might feel like it's love, unfortunately, it's a weakened version and without understanding how a person really defines love, they can feel trapped and unable to let go. Listen to Amee share her experience with co-dependency, how therapists describe that type of a relationship, and how "I love you" can keep you from moving on.

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1.8 - What Parents Need to Know About Teens & Bullying with Jax Anderson

A.D. Virelle — Fri, 06 Jul 2018 04:00:00 GMT

According to our friends at the US Department of Health and Human Services who run a website called StopBullying.gov, it’s estimated that about 20% of our kids are being bullied and less than half the time, they are not telling an adult. Listen to Amee & Jax's talk about what parents need to understand about teen bullying and learn about a strategy Jax has developed to help diffuse a bully called "Sarcasm & Confusion."

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1.7 - Tips For Strengthening Your Relationship With Your Teen

A.D. Virelle — Mon, 02 Jul 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Meet Jax Anderson, the "Psyko Therapist", while she talks with Amee about different strategies for parents to use to help better understand the teenage mind. For example, how embracing your inner dork can be used to help teach your kids to add humor to their lives or how being the one to diffuse an emotional situation can help them understand how to have better interpersonal relationships as they grow.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com

1.6 - Against Medical Advice: A Personal Story About Teen Suicide Attempts

A.D. Virelle — Sat, 30 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Suicide in teenage girls is sadly rising in the U.S. In fact, in less than (1) year, Amee and her kids would experience teen suicide (3) times, not including her daughter's own consideration. In this episode, Amee shares her family's story, providing an inside look at what it's like to be confronted with the fact that your own child might be having more problems than you know and how to change your own way of thinking and relating to them so that you, as a parent, can bridge a gap that could save their lives.

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1.5 - (5) Signs That Your Child Might Benefit From Counseling

A.D. Virelle — Thu, 28 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Special Guest, Dr. Janet Birkey, talks with Amee and share the (5) signs parents should pay attention to with their kids that might mean they need some extra attention. Links: https://birkeycounselingandcoaching.com/how-to-talk-to-your-child-about-depression/

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1.4 - Henry's Story & The Mom Left Behind

A.D. Virelle — Fri, 22 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Henry's disappearance in December of 2017 struck a chord throughout the community of Snohomish, Washington and brought thousands together to search for him.

When his body was found in the Snohomish River in late January, the unimaginable was confirmed - Henry had killed himself.

Henry Groeneveld was a soft-spoken beloved man who had been a dedicated rural postal carrier for decades. He had never shown any signs of depression or suicidal thoughts. He was an active member of the community and a familiar face to many. But after an incident at the post office with his supervisor left particularly rattled and upset, Henry came home that morning briefly and then walked out of the door, leaving his personal items behind on the kitchen table and was gone.

In this interview with his daughter, Liz Dickson, we learn more about this man and how the experience changed her in profound ways. The history of Henry's life is telling in many ways in terms of understanding the "why" but what is also important, is hearing how a stay-at-home mom with three children of her own, had to shift gears for two months in order to hold vigil over the search of her father. And what she has done after to heal the trauma for herself and her kids after dealing with such a devastating situation and loss.

We also discuss how hard it is to get media coverage and law enforcement support for suspected suicide victims. Today, Liz administers a Facebook group called Letters for Henry that reminds people of Henry's legacy of kindness for everyone and how important it is to reach out to people around us and check in on their well-being.

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1.2 - Broken Beyond Repair

A.D. Virelle — Fri, 25 May 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Each year, it is estimated that 3x as many women attempt suicide than men. And suicide remains one of our culture's taboo topics. When one considers, however, that twice as many people die at their own hands than from homicide in the United States, then it's time we start talking about it.In this episode, we meet two men who share their story of living with a broken mom who ultimately could not go on. Links:www.ameequiriconi.com National Suicide Lifeline https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

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1.3 - When You Might Not Be the Hero You Thought

A.D. Virelle — Fri, 25 May 2018 04:00:00 GMT

It is oftentimes more easy to judge and label other people than to take an honest look at ourselves. In this episode, Amee presents her non-TEDx Seattle talk about how superheroes & do-gooders may be hurting themselves and not even know it. Links:Contact me through www.ameequiriconi.com for sponsorship opportunities or to suggest topics, questions and/or guest ideas. http://www.drcraigmalkin.com/the-narcissism-test

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1.1 - One Broken Mom Introduction

A.D. Virelle — Wed, 16 May 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Host Amee Quiriconi shares with you her story of how she became a broken mom - a woman unknowingly shouldering burdens from her own childhood and casting them onto her own kids.One Broken Mom is a podcast series that will touch on topics of the history of parents & parenting, science, and psychology as well as poignant interviews with 'real people' as well as experts. Let Amee, in her own words, tell you what you can expect from her show.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit advirelle.substack.com