Alan Stevenson turns saving shots with his back into an art form, Turf Moor is invaded by second half balloons, and then we settle into the Denis Smith show. Already booked, he maims a stray striker before limping from the carnage, convincing Mr. McNally of his innocence. Yet Smith will soon see his red card, and not in the way you are expecting… And we have a golden post-match interview from Alan Durban to dissect too.

Just when you think it can’t get any better, we head for a submerged Shay and the further misadventures of Malcolm Allison in what is a footballing equivalent of the Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau. These are the days when random kids could enjoy playtime on a patch of land behind the goal while Joe Corrigan is desperately trying to keep his side afloat. Meanwhile, somebody has pinched half of the roof of the main stand. It wasn’t Romark, who weaves his magic in the Halifax dressing room.

Steven Scragg & Dave Bowler revel in the golden age of the FA Cup.

If Mick then watches our second game, he will be only too delighted that he escaped the clutches of Maine Road, Malcolm Allison and Romark. Liverpool play well, Manchester City’s defence don’t - they really don’t - and hilarity ensues.

The Tottenham Hotspur commercial department pull out all the stops to welcome back Brian Moore and The Big Match. We are treated to a glorious bit of route one football from Glenn Hoddle, there’s a new entry into Kenny Burns corner, a remarkable miss from Garry Birtles and Ricky Villa goes into the headmaster’s office as Terry Yorath advises him to stick an exercise book down his trousers.

In a bonus, we also dissect Aston Villa’s trip to a half finished Molineux, Andy Gray coming up against his old employers and desperate to put one past them and then wring the neck of a celebration. Does he manage it? Catch up with the action here.

17-year-old Billy O’Rourke mans the Burnley goal and finds himself elevated to the YBTAHOAB Hall of Fame by the end of the game, which you can watch here.

Live from Selhurst Park, viewed from the comfort of the B&Q Memorial dugouts, Steven Scragg and Dave Bowler swoon at the sartorial elegance of these two London sides and marvel at John Burridge’s countless cunning methods of ensuring that he hogs the limelight. You can do likewise here.

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It’s a trip to the City Ground to see Brian Clough’s men still basking in the glow of that win over Malmo just four months earlier, though the goalscorer that night, Trevor Francis, is still busy playing in the NASL and hasn’t returned to his City Ground duties.

Within the game itself, we take the season’s first trip to Kenny Burns corner, and marvel at the days before health and safety, when fans were allowed to sit inside a stand that was still only half constructed and with a load of scaffolding teetering precariously above them.

Steven Scragg and Dave Bowler don their hard hats and high-vis jackets to take in the game.

Steven Scragg and Dave Bowler see how he gets on, and round up the rest of the day’s action in the First Division.

You can watch the game here.

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Starting out at The Dell for Southampton against Manchester United, the key feature of the game was set to be Ray Wilkins’ debut for United after his summer move from Chelsea. But for Saints supporters, there was to be a first look at Charlie George, nine months after he had switched from Derby County.

Steven Scragg and Dave Bowler take you through the action at The Dell, the idiosyncracies of watching football in 1979/80, Manchester City’s transfer dealings, and the events of the first Saturday of the season. You can watch the game here.

Suspend your disbelief, forget all that you know, and join us on football’s Christmas Eve as we speculate on just what Santa might have in his sack for us all in the season ahead.

In our opening paragraph to these supplementary teachings, we must, of course, start with the Charity Shield, played between the reigning champions, Liverpool, and the holders of the FA Cup, Arsenal, at a sun kissed Wembley Stadium.

Look for an extraordinary numbers of substitutes, Don Howe in the shortest shorts known to man, Sammy Nelson taking the top off a chafe scar, David Johnson sending out a message to the season ahead and the final sighting of Phil Thompson’s frankly ill-advised perm.

Steven Scragg and Dave Bowler are your guides, and you can catch up with the game itself here.