Serious.

She inherited that from Pops.

Pops is over here with the stern face,

but there’s like a little joy in his face for his daughter getting it.

Again, full respect to the dads.

It must mean something great.

I get older.

I learn that.

I just wanted to give that shout out to you.

Keep doing your thing.

If you think about doing your thing, do it anyways.

It only benefits.

I mean,

we have research and proof over decades that prove that this is where you build

character.

So get that done.

All right.

It opened up my mind so much that once I re-connected with the core of my true self, I abruptly ditched yoga altogether. And in the end, it only cost me 3000 dollars. This story will bank on razor-like specifics because my Ashtanga teacher-training experience felt militaristic and specifically traumatic.

Reading this will introduce you to occupational Sanskrit, technical yoga principles, and light fitness jargon. These terms represent the polar opposite of the calming healing I thought might envelop me while learning Ashtanga.

This teacher training experience was a painful disaster that also led me straight into Pilates though. So as I unbox this particularly phony yoga praxis, join me while I mend an old injury with a real, superior physical practice like Pilates. Then discover why if physical healing and mobility is your aim, the suggestion that you “should do yoga” is wrong. You should do Reformer Pilates instead.

It’s Pronounced: Ah-sH-Tahn-guh

One Friday marked day one of Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga teacher intensive training. It was a short yoga session and meet-greet. The teacher, a bald lean and skinny white man grinned cheek to cheek as he checked in with his students. Shortish in height, he wore a plain tee hung around his clothes hanger collarbone that matched tones with his REI-purchased hiking shorts and sandals. You know the type—he might sleep in a tent only out in his backyard. The minimalist flow made me want to learn more at first.

I told him who I was—a trainer and athlete—and he retorted about how yoga might help my kettlebell swings. He then name-dropped himself in the same way your physician does at a fancy dinner, title-first. Only the teacher’s title was his Sanskrit name, “Adarsh.” Cool name. Not your Christian name, or any Christian name. But I figured he must have been gifted it and thus christened to teach Ashtanga which is laden with Sanskrit words. Great, I’ll call you “Sanskrit man.”

Saturday was intense. Three 75-minute Ashtanga yoga sessions with two of them back-to-back wherein the second was open to the public as we were expected to host. See, Ashtanga is an extremely physical form of yoga. There are handfuls of vinyasas, or bodyweight flows, of increasing difficulty. And for each one of the “moving meditation” flows—that’s what a vinyasa is—there are Sanskrit names. Your goal: to end and hold quality asana, or pose, while memorizing the philosophical Sanskrit pocket dictionary.

You do this (the flow and posture part) by focusing on your pranayama, or breath, and your gaze, which often is poised opposite of your head tilt. And it’s physical for sure but not nearly impossible. It isn’t as physically challenging as running a 10-minute mile for three miles or a full Bro Split deadlift and leg day workout. It’s more of a mental challenge and not a particularly challenging one in and of its own accord.

My neck, however, and my hip—the impetus for my yoga training—were fine mentally, but they were about to physically fold.

The Problem with Modern Yoga

Later on, I learned more about modern yoga history. See, Ashtanga, its use of Sanskrit, and deployment of Eastern philosophy is relatively young, maybe like 200 years old. Meanwhile the wisdom traditions and the Yoga Sutras date back millennia.

And in ancient Tibet and India, there certainly must have been a need for physical prowess probably in terms of tribal roles. Warriors, hunters, protectors, and explorers had to be physically endowed. But they cared nothing for curing sciatica or “postural deviations.” Why? These are modernity’s ills. And yoga seeks to solve these problems.

What did Yoga Sutras account for then? The mind. Sanskrit man’s snake oil wasn’t all useless. There was real venom there in the form of actual yoga. He regurgitated a lot but mentioned those ancient teachings of the mind being a drunken monkey. Yoga attempts to solve for this.

Sanskrit man’s mind was a lush gibbon though and his teachings were shabby, scattered, and trite. He panic lectured about meridians and I don’t think he really believed any of it. He talked about Chakras, the energy conduit which flows from sacrum to skull along the spine, through each of us if not otherwise blocked by the urbane world’s self-importance and Grind Culture's b******t tenets. SM then quipped how now we have graduated to get mandala tattoo tramp stamps if we wanted. Which would be hilarious if he weren’t teaching a practice that uses mandalas.

Modern yogis tattoo mandalas, chakras, and other signals to yoga practice all the time. The unabashed-skinned Sanskrit man mocks you because you don’t keep up with your kriya. But SM is blissfully unaware he is unaware of his earthbound limitations.

When my neck started to relentlessly cramp after our first headstand, I grew suspect of Sanskrit man’s teaching. He regurgitated the teaching of an actual smart guy, Dr. Kelly Starrett, the father of modern mobility, and maybe thought no one noticed. I think Sanskrit Man was a Crossfitter in his Westernized life. He wanted to be like Starrett, the “Supple Leopard,” whose scholarship coined mobility praxis. SM wanted maybe to etch his name into modern movement into yoga—he, the Inebriated Orangutan.

To test him, I decided I would no longer tough out my neck pain going on day 5. I waited until another bad class was over and I asked him for help.

It’s Pronounced: Puh-La-TeeZ

Where I fell out of faith with Yoga, Pilates caught my fall. My Olympian friend had been a Reformer advocate. When we trained, he’d throw me on the contraption and destroy my muscles before we’d Olympic lift or get underneath the barbell for compound sets. Each movement mimicked a strength training move leading to a meta where my core was Herculean. And I looked amazing at the beach. With my newly rocked core stronger than ever, I could lift more overall and my strength-to-weight ratio skyrocketed. It was training with Reformer Pilates that changed my life.

My pain began to quell and mobility rose. My core was strong because of Pilates, and both my friend's and my injured bodies seemed to heal with passing time. Ten years later my Reformer-less training, while stronger than ever during active competition, was breaking down a little. Heavy lifting, overuse from round-kicking the heavy bags, and distance running wore my hip down. Now, turning to yoga, I needed Sanskrit Man to sprinkle some of the genius insider biomechanical knowledge of my Olympic buddy on me. Now was the time to be a real teacher.

I told SM my neck was under new constant tension. And he blankly stared back at me as if I was really speaking a dead language. I tried to be humble and open against his hollowness. That’s what I thought.

I dismissed him as a charlatan and left. I was not enough of a yogi, nor maybe a sycophantic acolyte at the altar of Ashtanga. Maybe when I told him I lived a life of kickboxing and strength training and he responded, “wow, brutal,” he wasn’t filled with a teacher’s excitement viewing me as a fun project. No, instead his monkey mind was three sheets to the wind by intimidation. As I told my fellow student-trainers what happened, they understood, and I left feeling great about my decision, though my neck, hip, and pocketbook throbbed from attrition.

Pilates saves my body. Today its Reformer exercise is popular once again. Martial Arts and dance satisfy the definition of mind-body control and connection, but you perform them not only because they’re physical. You are told Yoga is purely or mostly physical. Instead, it turns out Pilates is the realest—it claims only to be physical, and then you exercise and heal. It is the greatest physical mind-body mobility training there is in and of itself and by definition. You should try it.

The Key Takeaways

Yoga is amazing rejuvenation and a constant practice. All the many yogas are like this gigantic tree with roots described in the aphorisms of Yoga Sutra, which are millennia old. From these roots, some main posture-less yogas grow into a strong trunk. Like a real tree, hundreds of years of growth sprouted into yogas that favored meditation alone. Then later, postures. Later, movement was featured. Then heat. So on. “Yoga” is this living and evolving organic lifestyle that's distilled into pieces.

Those pieces heal and help. Yoga is amazing for centering your mind, evolving away from desire and suffering over many years of daily practice. Yoga is praxis for real.

It’s just promoted for quicker gains. Which, maybe without the promise of fast gains, yoga never evolves in our injured, infirmed, and urbane world. But it’s only partly physical. Teachers should be attentive to serve students’ minds first then their bodies. Neuromuscular efficiency is the base for all movement anyways. It literally starts in your brain.

Reformer is physical. It involves movement patterns and rehabilitation. It is challenging and rewarding. There is nothing pretentious about it. Because you are working under control and alignment, your mind is working hard. Neuroplasticity enhances movement.

FAQ

* Is all yoga ineffective?

* Good yoga teaches breath control, meditation. Physical yoga classes often fall short.

* Why does Pilates work better for injury rehab?

* Biomechanical focus, muscular education, strength through full range of motion.

* Can Pilates replace strength training?

* It complements strength training, aiding recovery and control but doesn’t entirely replace heavy lifting or sports-specific drills.