Evolving Love

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Falling in Love With Another...When Open Relationships Expand

Abbey Mackay — Wed, 20 May 2026 13:01:07 GMT

In this episode of Evolving Love, we dive into one of the biggest fears people have around non-monogamy: what happens if you fall in love with someone else?

We also unpack the difference between infatuation, limerence and lasting love. We share stories about dating separately for the first time, navigating intense emotional connections with other partners, and learning how openness and honesty helped us move through those experiences together instead of apart. We talk about the “new relationship energy” that can feel all-consuming, the fears it can trigger, and why emotional transparency became so important for us.

More than anything, this conversation became an exploration of what love actually means.

Can loving another person threaten an existing relationship, or can it deepen your understanding of connection, choice and commitment?

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Are Non-Monogamous People Narcissists?

Abbey Mackay — Wed, 06 May 2026 11:21:09 GMT

In this episode of the Evolving Love podcast, we dive into one of the most common accusations aimed at non-monogamous people: are we actually narcissists? We unpack the way the word “narcissist” gets thrown around online and in relationship culture, and explore whether non-monogamy is genuinely selfish or whether it can actually require deeper empathy, accountability and communication. Along the way, we reflect on our own experiences with validation, jealousy, manipulation, admiration, social media culture and the messy reality of being human.

We talk about the difference between healthy admiration and narcissistic validation, why modern social media increasingly rewards performative vulnerability, and whether non-monogamy exposes narcissism more clearly… or simply gets blamed for dynamics that exist everywhere.

Evolving Love Links:

Dive Deeper

Evolving Love Retreat

Friday 18th Sept - Sunday 20th Sept 2026

Yass Valley, New South Wales, Australia

In 2026, the Evolving Love Retreat opens to all.

Whether you’re in a couple, throuple, or exploring solo, this retreat is for you.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Is Non-Monogamy For You?

Abbey Mackay — Tue, 21 Apr 2026 13:07:22 GMT

In this episode, we explore one of the biggest questions we hear: is non-monogamy actually right for you?

We break it down into three parts, first looking at the reasons you probably shouldn’t open your relationship, signs you might be ready to start exploring, and finally we share what it feels like when you are ready to start exploring non-monogamy.

We explore the red flags, the green lights, and the deeper questions that reveal whether opening your relationship will expand your connection or expose what’s already not working.

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

School Principal on Rethinking Family School Relationships - Dr. Sandra Webster.

Abbey Mackay — Thu, 09 Apr 2026 13:21:51 GMT

Today’s conversation is deeply personal for us and one that features a unique, open-minded and compassionate perspective from our guest.

We’re joined by Dr. Sandra Webster, an educational leader, former school principal across three different countries, and more recently the author of the book “Creating Family-School Partnerships”.

In this conversation, we explore what true inclusion looks like for families who don’t fit the traditional mould, how schools can better understand the reality of diverse home lives, and why partnership between parents and educators is essential.

We also dive into power, communication, and what it takes to create environments where every child and every family feel like they genuinely belong.

Sandra Webster Links:

Sandra's Book

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

The Poly Pile On, Online Trolls & SBS Insight

Abbey Mackay — Tue, 24 Mar 2026 11:33:53 GMT

In this episode, we reflect on what it has been like to take our relationship into the public eye after appearing on SBS’s Insight, where we spoke about jealousy, envy, and compersion. What followed was a flood of online commentary, much of it critical. We unpack what it feels like to have our relationship reduced to a two-minute clip and judged at scale, and we explore why people feel so certain in their opinions about something they don’t fully understand.

We explore how judgment is a natural human response, but how the way it’s expressed matters, and how much of what people say is actually a reflection of their own fears, experiences, or conditioning around relationships. We also share how we each process criticism differently, one of us feeling largely unaffected, the other needing to work through it more consciously. Through it all, we come back to what grounds us, our relationship, our values, and our sense of self, and why continuing to have these conversations publicly still feels important, even when it invites criticism.

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Beyond the Gender Divide: Rethinking Modern Love

Abbey Mackay — Tue, 10 Mar 2026 07:33:38 GMT

Today’s conversation opens up a wider reflection on modern gender discourse and and whether some narratives unintentionally deepen the divide between men and women rather than bringing them together. We explore what it means to hold space for the realities of inequality while still imagining a future where men and women move forward in partnership rather than opposition. We also discuss Married At First Sight, dating culture and explore the concept of arranged marriage.

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

When Abbey Veto'ed Fer - With Fer (Polycurious)

Abbey Mackay — Mon, 23 Feb 2026 04:01:05 GMT

In today’s episode we sit down with Fer from the Polycurious Podcast to unpack a story that began with a first date in New York and unfolded into a powerful lesson about jealousy, veto power, honesty, and growth.

We share openly about the moment Abbey felt triggered when Liam and Fer connected, how unspoken feelings led to a quiet veto, and what it took to circle back a year later with truth and repair. It’s a vulnerable look at what really happens inside non-monogamous relationships when values and emotions collide.

We also dive into Fer’s “Mono-Poly” relationship with her now fiancé Seth, a one-sided open relationship where she is non-monogamous and he is monogamous. From pacing opening up intentionally, to navigating jealousy without shame, to redefining compersion and “don’t ask, don’t tell,” this episode explores what relationship by design truly looks like.

Fer’s Links:

Instagram | Website | Polycurious Podcast w/ Seth

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Perimenopause, HRT & Supportive Partners w/ Shelly Horton

Abbey Mackay — Tue, 10 Feb 2026 03:07:23 GMT

Today we are joined by the “Peri Godmother”, Australian TV Journalist Shelly Horton who has written the book “I’m Your Peri Godmother: A happily ever after guide to kicking perimenopause in the ovaries.”

With a 30+ year media career spanning ABC, Channel Seven, Fairfax Media and ET America, Shelly has appeared weekly on Channel Nine’s TODAY and TODAY EXTRA for over a decade and is also the founder of ShellShocked Media.

In this episode Shelly shares deeply from her own experience with peri. It is humorous, at times heartbreaking, uplifting and a conversation that we all need to be having.

Shelly Horton’s Links:

Instagram | Website | Shelly’s Book

Evolving Love Links:

If this episode resonates with you, please share it far and wide!

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Hotwifing & Hothusbanding - Let's Talk About It!

Abbey Mackay — Wed, 28 Jan 2026 03:27:27 GMT

In this episode, we dive headfirst into the world of hot wifing and hot husbanding, unpacking what these dynamics actually are and why they can feel so electrifying. We talk openly about erotic charge, compersion, possession, and play, exploring how fantasy and power can exist inside consensual, loving relationships without contradicting autonomy or feminist values.

We also explore the practical and emotional realities of these dynamics: how to talk to a partner about it, what makes someone a good third, where things can go wrong, and why communication, enthusiasm, and consent are non-negotiable.

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Non-Monogamy and Midlife: Will There Be A Crisis?

Abbey Mackay — Sat, 17 Jan 2026 22:24:39 GMT

In today’s episode we talk about entering midlife without the stereotype of a meltdown. We explore grief for past versions of ourselves, tenderness for who we’re becoming, and how aging changes desire, ambition, creativity, and intimacy. We talk about perimenopause, slowing down, recalibrating expectations, and what it means to grow older together without panic or denial.

Evolving Love Links:

Imperfects Podcast - Why Does Life Feel Harder at 40?

Resources From Episode:

From Strength To Strength - Arthur C. Brooks

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Pillow-talk On The Bedroom Floor - A Year In Review

Abbey Mackay — Wed, 31 Dec 2025 03:44:34 GMT

In our final episode of the year we discuss 2025 and some of our favourite podcast guests of the year, our plans for the New Year, the ethics of sending old selfies and so much more...

Here are links to the episodes mentioned in this episode:

Dr. Emma Phillips - Sexy Selfies

Evan Buckley - Cults

Dr. Rob Brooks - AI

Evolving Love Links:

See you in 2026!!

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

#100 - What is Love? with Dr. Christopher Ryan - Author of "Sex at Dawn" & "Civilized to Death"

Abbey Mackay and Chris Ryan — Mon, 08 Dec 2025 12:15:54 GMT

Evolving Lovers!! 100 episodes of the Evolving Love Podcast!!!

To celebrate, we invited back one of our all-time favourite guests: Dr. Chris Ryan, author of Sex at Dawn, Civilized to Death, and host of Tangentially Speaking.

In this milestone episode, we dive deep into what it means to love, to be seen, and to navigate desire in a rapidly changing world. Chris discusses why humans are fundamentally non-monogamous, why monogamy can still be a meaningful choice, and how shame, safety, novelty, and honesty shape our erotic lives. We also explore how AI will transform intimacy and whether social conditioning distorts our instincts.

For us, it is the perfect way to mark 100 episodes of the Evolving Love podcast.

Thank you for being here with us. ❤️

Chris Ryan Links:

Substack / Podcast

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

The Silent Load: Navigating Mental Loads in Relationships

Abbey Mackay — Mon, 24 Nov 2025 06:40:13 GMT

In this episode, Liam and I sit down to unpack what we’ve been calling “the silent load”….the unseen, unspoken work that keeps relationships and families running smoothly.

We talk about the four types of invisible load that show up in love: the physical, emotional, mental, and relational loads. From who remembers to buy the groceries, to who plans the date nights or initiates the tough conversations, we explore how these patterns form, what they mean, and why they can feel so heavy.

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Meet Our Girlfriend, Olivia

Abbey Mackay — Fri, 07 Nov 2025 02:38:13 GMT

What happens when a married, polyamorous couple goes on a first date with artificial intelligence?

In this episode we introduce our new “girlfriend” — Olivia, an AI companion built through ChatGPT’s voice mode — and take her on a virtual first date.We talk attraction, jealousy, and boundaries as Olivia flirts, sets limits, and asks tough questions about love, consent, and communication.

After the date ends, we unpack the emotional and ethical fallout — from erotic AI fantasies to whether falling for a chatbot could ever count as cheating.

This episode blurs the line between human and digital intimacy, asking:

Can an AI girlfriend feel real?

What happens when machines mirror desire?

Is emotional connection without a body still love?

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Lily Allen & Our P**sy Palace

Abbey Mackay — Thu, 30 Oct 2025 03:20:52 GMT

Lily Allen has dropped her new album West End Girl. This record is a brutally honest breakup album about her open marriage with actor David Harbour, and has put non-monogamy back into the cultural Zeitgeist.

In this episode, we discuss

* Is Lily Allen’s “p*^sy palace” anthem empowering or exploitative?

* What are the ethics of writing about your ex?

* Why do female rage albums hit so hard?

* Does this record hurt or help how non-monogamy is seen?

* And… who exactly is Madeline?

From kink-shaming to compersion, privacy to power, we discuss the tension between honesty, art, and the stories we tell about love.

We also mention the Architectural Digest Tour of Lily and David’s House and this brilliant Substack article by Jack Cullen.

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Abbey Gets Envious, NRE Music & AI Doomsday

Abbey Mackay — Wed, 22 Oct 2025 11:07:07 GMT

This week, Abbey and Liam unpack the difference between jealousy and envy — and how those feelings show up even in the most secure relationships. What starts as a story about a paddle boarding invitation turns into an honest look at FOMO, friendship, and the desire to keep creating “firsts” together after more than a decade of marriage.

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

"Shame Dissolves In Safe Spaces" with Dabaco Sunset

Abbey Mackay — Sun, 12 Oct 2025 12:21:23 GMT

Dabaco Sunset is a queer-affirming psychotherapist and embodiment facilitator in Sydney, specializing in Gestalt Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, and Embodied Counselling to help LGBTQ+ individuals and clients with alternative relating styles like ethical non-monogamy.

Dabaco practices In the inner-west in Sydney at Sunset Psychotherapy.

In this episode Dabaco opens up about growing up bisexual and pansexual, his time in Berlin’s queer scene, and the journey from infidelity and secrecy to radical self-acceptance.

Dabaco Sunset Links

Website | Instagram | Naked Man

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Are Female Friendships A Threat To Marriage?

Abbey Mackay — Wed, 24 Sep 2025 12:15:54 GMT

“Why do you need a female friend if you’re married?” In this episode, Abbey and Liam unpack the space where friendship, attraction, romantic relationships and trust collide.

From jealousy to risk-taking they explore whether cross-gender friendships are threats to marriage, what happens when you forbid them, and how non-monogamous couples navigate these dynamics differently.

Do female friendships always pose a risk? Or are they an essential part of a balanced life?

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Husband vs. Wife - Open Marriage Debate

Abbey Mackay — Wed, 17 Sep 2025 11:24:31 GMT

In todays episode we play Devil’s Advocate. Can you argue a position you don’t truly believe in? Does switching sides test our own beliefs and sharpen our perspectives?

We go head-to-head on:

* Should happy couples risk opening their relationship?

* Is non-monogamy a solution for struggling couples?

* The infamous One Penis Policy — protection or possession?

* Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell vs Kitchen Table Polyamory

* Growing older: does monogamy or non-monogamy serve us better?

Evolving Love Links:

Watch this episode on Youtube

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Will AI Kill Intimacy? w. Evolutionary Biologist Dr. Rob Brooks

Abbey Mackay and Rob Brooks — Sat, 06 Sep 2025 12:08:22 GMT

Abbey and Liam are joined by evolutionary biologist Dr. Rob Brooks to explore the rise of AI companions, sex robots, and whether love with machines can ever be “real.” They discuss jealousy over chatbots, the naturalist fallacy, and the deep question of whether humans are naturally monogamous or non-monogamous.

Drawing from Rob’s book Artificial Intimacy, the conversation dives into the future of intimacy, the regulation of AI, and what it means for relationships when machines can replicate (and even challenge) human connection.

Rob Brooks Links

Website | Substack

Evolving Love Links:

Live Podcast Tickets Link

Friday 10th October, NFSA, Canberra

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Fantasy vs. Reality - Secrets & Exhibitionism

Abbey Mackay — Mon, 25 Aug 2025 14:52:48 GMT

In this episode of Evolving Love 2.0, Abbey and Liam explore where they sit on the spectrum between swinging and polyamory. From loud neighbours and exhibitionist fantasies to navigating crushes, labels, and compersion, they dive into the playful, messy, and honest realities of non-monogamy after more than a decade together.

They also share why “relationship by design” is central to their lives, and how fantasy and reality often intersect in surprising ways.

Watch on Youtube

Evolving Love Links:

Live Podcast Tickets Link

Friday 10th October, NFSA, Canberra

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Pickleball, Therapy & Sex Swings

Abbey Mackay — Mon, 04 Aug 2025 12:39:46 GMT

In today’s episode we bounce from pickleball courts to cold plunges, breathwork breakthroughs, and even DIY sex swings. We discuss our experiences with therapy, and Liam’s recent experience in a men’s breathwork circle.

🧵 Topics Covered

🎾 Pickleball Obsession: Why Liam has pivoted from bouldering to pickleball, and how it's becoming the new social sport for connection (and maybe even pickup).

🧊 Cold Plunge Confessions: Their first experience with a 3°C plunge at a retreat.

🌬️ Breathwork Journeys: Liam’s powerful experience in a men’s breathwork circle and how it compares to traditional talk therapy.

🧠 Therapy, Flow & Healing: From EFT tapping to crafting gnomes, the many ways we process emotion and find peace.

🧵 Crafting as Inner Child Work: Abbey’s deep dive into fairy swings, and the joy of imperfection.

🛠️ DIY Erotica: Reddit’s BDSM DIY, ceramic dildos, and the dream of a podcast room sex swing.

🔥 Saunas, Sex & Sensory Play: Why temperature matters in intimacy and the allure of hardpoints in the home.

Upcoming Events

Conversation Night:

Sydney | Monday, 18th August 2025

Social Event:

Canberra | Sunday, 31st August 2025

Women’s Retreat:

Yass, NSW | October 17–19, 2025

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

When Affairs Go Public - Clinton to Coldplaygate

Abbey Mackay — Tue, 22 Jul 2025 12:40:32 GMT

In today’s episode we dive into the spectacle of public affairs—from the viral Coldplay KissCam scandal to the infamous Clinton-Lewinsky saga. We explore the cultural obsession with infidelity, the ethics of public shaming, and the complex dynamics of relationships under scrutiny.

Topics Covered

* Coldplaygate: The viral moment that exposed Astronomer CEO Andy Byron and HR head Kristin Cabot on KissCam.

* Public vs. Private Affairs: Why some affairs explode into the public eye and what that means for those involved.

* Workplace Infidelity: Why so many affairs begin at work and the psychology behind it.

* The Clinton-Lewinsky Affair: A deep dive into the scandal, power dynamics, betrayal, and media frenzy.

* Esther Perel’s “State of Affairs”: How this book reframes infidelity and offers a path to healing.

* The Ethics of Enjoying Scandal: Grappling with the guilty pleasure of watching public drama unfold.

* Security Clearances & Infidelity: Can cheating disqualify you from high-level government roles?

Evolving Love Links:

Women's Retreat – October 17–19, 2025

🌿 Upcoming Event

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Is Liam Controlling? You Decide.

Abbey Mackay — Tue, 15 Jul 2025 15:12:48 GMT

In today’s Evolving Love Podcast we discuss boundaries, limits, and unpack my recent Substack article.

Evolving Love Links:

Women's Retreat – October 17–19, 2025

🌿 Upcoming Event

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Protect Your Children - Former Detective Senior Constable Kristi McVee

Abbey Mackay — Mon, 30 Jun 2025 13:47:56 GMT

Today we are having a difficult conversation on Evolving Love. A conversation that puts the safety of our children in the spotlight.

To help us navigate this conversation, we have invited on child safety expert - Kristi McVee. Kristy was a Specialist Child Interviewer and Detective Senior Constable for 10 years in the Western Australian Police force.

Since leaving the police force, she has worked to provide parents, caregivers, and guardians with the education, tools and strategies they need to protect children from child sexual abuse and work towards a safer future for all kids.

Kristi has written a book entitled “Operation Kidsafe”, and hosts the podcast – “Conversations with Kristi”.

Kristi McVee Links:

Website | Instagram | Facebook | Tik Tok | Podcast

ACMS Study Research

Important Resources:

If you feel affected by this episode and the themes discussed, please do not hesitate to reach out to these great resources:

United States:

* Childhelp USA:

* Provides a national hotline, crisis intervention, information, and referrals.

* Hotline: 1-800-422-4453

* Website: childhelp.org

* The National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN):

* Offers confidential support for survivors of sexual violence.

* Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE

* Website: rainn.org

Australia:

* Bravehearts:

* Focuses on preventing child sexual assault and supporting survivors.

* Helpline: 1800 272 831

* Website: bravehearts.org.au

* Kids Helpline:

* A free, confidential 24/7 online and phone counseling service for young people aged 5 to 25.

* Helpline: 1800 55 1800

* Website: kidshelpline.com.au

England:

* NSPCC (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children):

* Provides a helpline, online resources, and support services for children and adults concerned about child abuse.

* Helpline: 0808 800 5000

* Website: nspcc.org.uk

* Childline:

* A free, confidential helpline for children and young people.

* Helpline: 0800 1111

* Website: childline.org.uk

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

"Ask Me How It Works" with Deepa Paul

Abbey Mackay and Deepa Paul — Tue, 24 Jun 2025 13:18:01 GMT

Deepa is a Filipina-Indian author living in Amsterdam and her writing explores the balance between being a mother, wife, girlfriend, daughter, adventure, and herself - all at the same time.

This release is her first book, but you can also find her writing on Substack at - Letters by Deepa

This conversation is raw and wide ranging and we were so struck by the joy, vulnerability and honesty in this conversation.

In this episode we discuss Deepa’s conservative upbringing in the Phillipines, the move to Amsterdam and how she opened up her relationship, reflections on how she navigates discussing non-monogamy with her 12 year old daughter, the role Craigslist played in her story, powerful reflections on how her polyamorous relationship structure helped her through one of her hardest experiences and so much more.

Deepa’s Links

Website | Substack | Instagram

Evolving Love Links:

Women's Retreat – October 17–19, 2025

🌿 Upcoming Event

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Is Monogamy Boring?

Abbey Mackay — Mon, 16 Jun 2025 15:35:19 GMT

In today’s episode we deep dive the provocative question: Is monogamy boring? We discuss our own definitions of what a boring relationship looks like, erotic space and desire, the richness of shared non-monogamous experiences, is boredom a form of safety, our dream debate opponents and so much more.

🌿 Upcoming Event

Women's Retreat – October 17–19, 2025

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Consent Violations in Non-Monogamy

Abbey Mackay — Mon, 09 Jun 2025 15:38:07 GMT

We explore the nuanced topic of consent violations within non-monogamous relationships. From the ethics of sharing intimate photos to the complexities of informed consent in the context of infidelity, this conversation invites Evolving Lovers to consider how trust, transparency, and communication are foundational to ethical non-monogamy.

🌿 Upcoming Event

Women's Retreat – October 17–19, 2025

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Who Gets To Be Seen? Sexy Selfies with Dr. Emma Phillips

Abbey Mackay — Mon, 02 Jun 2025 14:33:41 GMT

Today we sit down with photographer and academic Dr. Emma Phillips to explore the cultural, feminist, and personal dimensions of an activity that we hold close to our heart - the sexy selfie.

Emma is a photographer and researcher/lecturer in Visual Communication at the University of Canberra.

With twelve years of professional photography experience in Australian media, design, and advertising, and eight years teaching photography and visual communications across Melbourne, Sydney, and Canberra, Emma brings a wealth of expertise to her work.

In 2022 she completed her PhD at the University of Technology Sydney on the intersection of sexy-selfies with class, and has been a finalist in the prestigious Australian National Photographic Portrait Prize.

In today’s discussion we talk about the cultural hierarchy between selfies and self-portraits, why we are motivated to take sexy selfies, the role of the male-gaze, the role of validation, aesthetic bias and class judgements, sexy selfies as erotic communication, photographer/model power-dynamics, masculinity and the male-selfie, creating environments for artistic exploration, how selfies can help foster community and so much more.

Guest Links

Emma’s PHD

Emma’s Website

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

How We Communicate - Radical Honesty, Conflict & Sleepy Husbands

Abbey Mackay — Mon, 26 May 2025 10:56:59 GMT

In today’s episode we dive deep into the art of communication in long-term, non-monogamous relationships. We explore the nuances of radical honesty—when it’s helpful, when it’s too much, and how to balance truth with tact. From navigating attraction to others, to the infamous “chewer vs. spewer” dynamic, we unpack how our differing communication styles have evolved over the years. We share examples like late-night pillow talks, wardrobe critiques, and the vasectomy sample drop-off, all while highlighting the importance of timing, tone and intention.

Women’s Retreat

Bookings for my Women’s Retreat in Yass, NSW, Australia from 17th-19th October 2025 are now open! (Currently running an Early Bird special!)

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Confessions Of A Dominatrix w/ Mistress Fleur Driver

Abbey Mackay — Mon, 19 May 2025 13:16:32 GMT

Mistress Fleur Driver is a professional Dominatrix and BDSM practitioner with over thirteen years of experience in the sex work industry. Originally trained in the courtesan tradition by European Madams, her practice is grounded in immersive, intentional experiences that welcomes people from all walks of life. From her private dungeon in Sydney to international settings, Fleur guides her clients through carefully crafted journeys of surrender, ritual, and self-discovery.

In this conversation we discuss healing through BDSM, sacred spanking, clients exploring sissification, high protocol scenes, how to use cling wrap in BDSM, masculinity and BDSM, Financial domination, being married and also being a sex worker, the visual aesthetics of BDSM, aftercare and mental health for Dominatrix’s, the state of sex work in Australia, the difference between decriminalisation and legalisation of sex work and so much more.

Mistress Fleur Driver Links:

Website | Instagram

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

"Beyond Monogamy" on ABC TV - Reactions, Triggers & Our Experience

Abbey Mackay — Wed, 30 Apr 2025 14:34:53 GMT

In today’s episode we discuss our appearance on the ABC’s Compass program “Beyond Monogamy” which was released on Sunday 27th April 2025. We dissect the process of filming, the feedback we have been receiving, counter-opinions presented in the show and how we are feeling after our highest profile media appearance yet…

Watch The Doco

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Leaving A Cult: Love, Intimacy & Relationships with Evan Buckley

Abbey Mackay — Mon, 14 Apr 2025 12:48:35 GMT

Evan's story is unlike anything you've heard. Imagine spending your most formative years within the confines of a religious fundamentalist cult. How would this shape your approach to sex, love and relationships?

In addition to his vulnerability, honesty and ability to self-reflect, Evan is also a talented songwriter and frontman of his Canberra-based band, The Burley Griffin.

In this episode, prepare to be moved as we delve into Evan's inspiring journey: from rebuilding his understanding of love and intimacy after purity culture, to his personal explorations in non-monogamy, his path to self-love, grappling with external and intrinsic validation, how the Queer community became a vital force in his deconstruction of social and relationship norms and so much more….

Evan Buckley Links:

Spotify

Bandcamp

Evolving Love Links:

Podcast Cover Photo: Josh de Hoog

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

The Proposal - A Wedding Anniversary Special

Abbey Mackay — Tue, 01 Apr 2025 11:55:22 GMT

We take the opportunity to celebrate our 10th Wedding Anniversary by reliving the night of the proposal!

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Policing Language, "Adolescence" & Chris Williamson

Abbey Mackay — Mon, 24 Mar 2025 12:31:36 GMT

In todays episode we discuss Liam being shamed, how we police language, a recent Chris Williamson Instagram caption, an incredible new TV show “Adolescence”, and so much more!

Evolving Love Links:

The National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN)

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

The Hardest Conversation Of All

Abbey Mackay — Tue, 11 Mar 2025 11:57:40 GMT

We have a difficult discussion in today’s podcast that relates to child safety and Abbey’s recent Substack article “We Must Be Critical of Non-Monogamy”. We unpack the reception and criticisms around the article, the importance of nuanced conversations around this topic, why no community is immune from having these discussions and so much more.

Important Resources:

If you feel affected by this episode and the themes discussed, please reach out to these great resources:

United States:

Childhelp USA

Australia:

Kids Helpline

Bravehearts

England:

NSPCC (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children)

Childline

Study referenced in episode: UNSW Study Link

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Moral Panic & Non-Monogamy w/ Philosopher Dr. Tim Dean

Abbey Mackay — Tue, 04 Mar 2025 11:43:06 GMT

Tim is a philosopher, award-winning writer and teacher. He has a doctorate in philosophy from the University of New South Wales on the evolution of morality and specialises in ethics, critical thinking, the philosophy of science and the philosophy of education.

Currently, Tim is the Senior Philosopher at The Ethics Centre (who run the brilliant “Festival of Dangerous Ideas” in Sydney), and is an Honorary Associate in the philosophy department at the University of Sydney.

In 2021 he released the critically acclaimed book entitled “How We Became Human: And Why We Need to Change” and we reference this frequently in our chat today.

In this conversation we discuss the moral panic of non-monogamy, where do our beliefs come from, whether monogamy is a moral good in the world, how do we calibrate our ethical compass, how do you balance the intellectual and the embodied, parenting and the window of plasticity, where do monogamous ethical frameworks come from, serial monogamy and so much more.

Guest Links

Dr. Tim Dean Website

Ethics Centre Website

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

My Vasectomy

Abbey Mackay — Mon, 24 Feb 2025 13:12:36 GMT

In today’s episode we unpack Liam’s recent vasectomy procedure. We discuss the procedure, the lead up and the aftermath, delve into the ethics of contraception, the importance of peas and double briefs, semen, myths around vasectomies, manhood and so much more…

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Fake Orgasms, Embodiment & Desire with Georgia Grace

Abbey Mackay — Tue, 18 Feb 2025 13:05:54 GMT

Georgia Grace is a certified sex and relationship practitioner and somatic therapist who is particularly known for her work in somatic sexology, embodied counselling and trauma-informed practices.

Her approach to working with sex and relationships is inclusive, sex-positive and shame-free, and supports individuals, couples and groups to overcome common sexual concerns.

She is also a co-founder of NORMAL, a sexual wellness company, where she works with Lucy Wark and a team of experts to create educational courses and design modern sex toys.

Georgia hosts the podcast “Glad You Came”, and in October 2024 released her critically acclaimed book “The Modern Guide to Sex”.

This conversation was our first time meeting Georgia, and we were immediately captivated by her intellect, wit, compassion and articulate way of explaining concepts. Based in Australia, we are thankful that one of the leading voices on sexuality is someone who embraces a forward-thinking, inclusive and sex-positive approach.

In this wide roaming chat we discuss; faking orgasm, masturbation scripts, the concept of “The Learning Edge”, embodiment and sexuality, top down and bottom up therapeutic approaches, the role of porn, the window of tolerance, “up-regulating and down-regulating”, practice vs play sessions, maintaining erotic desire, listening to your bodies’ cues and so much more.

Guest Links:

Normal Toys

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

What If? The Polycule Went Camping

Abbey Mackay — Mon, 10 Feb 2025 13:01:35 GMT

In today’s episode we trial a new format for the show as we play with hypothetical scenarios!

Abbey’s lover Caspian leaves his socks everywhere! When is enough enough? How will Abbey confront him?

Brenda, Kai, Abbey and Liam embark on a polycule camping trip…. come along for the ride!!

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Do Men's Voices Matter? with James Winestock

Abbey Mackay and James Winestock — Mon, 03 Feb 2025 12:09:27 GMT

In today’s conversation we discuss whether men deserve a voice, sensitive men, rolemodels, social media and the influence of the manosphere, how to bring men into the conversation, how men can advocate for men’s issues and hold feminist ideals in tandem, the importance of men expressing affection, the role of a competitive nature in masculinity, why every man must own a lamp, how Liam’s masculinity impacts on his metamour relationships, and Liam and I have a bust-up that is mediated by James over how Liam makes my tea…

Guest Links:

James’ Substack

Unpublished Podcast

James’ Instagram

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Naked on Brooklyn Bridge

Abbey Mackay — Mon, 27 Jan 2025 13:05:27 GMT

In today’s episode we discuss one of our favourite New York experiences… a photoshoot that was impossible to forget… on the Brooklyn Bridge with Kenn Lichtenwalter.

Kenn Lichtenwalter Links:

BSky

Dive Deeper

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Cuckolding & Chastity with Shy

Abbey Mackay — Mon, 20 Jan 2025 13:03:08 GMT

Today we're diving headfirst into the taboo world of cuckolding with Shy.

We'll be exploring the psychological and emotional complexities of this relationship dynamic through an intimate interview with Shy - a ‘cuckoldress” who is in a 24-7 cuckolding dynamic.

Get ready for an honest and insightful conversation that may challenge your understanding of love, sexuality, and the boundaries of relationships.

Shy is also a passionate relationship and intimacy coach specialising in open relating and kink.

In this episode we cover what cuckolding actually is, common misconceptions, the ideal cuck, chastity cages, female led relationships, communication and kink, common mistakes in cuckolding, how to share deep fantasies and kinks with your partner, the distinctions between hotwifing and cuckolding, and so much more…

Guest Links:

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Things Are Hard Right Now

Abbey Mackay — Mon, 13 Jan 2025 12:48:45 GMT

In today’s episode we share about what has been happening for us recently. It is a different kind of episode, with a tone that is different to our usual discussions. This conversation covers how we approach conflict, the importance of space, external stresses on the relationship, communication styles and so much more*.

*We also manage to pivot the conversation at the end away from the heaviness and turn our attention to our obsession with F1 & Drive to Survive.

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Body Image, Self-Acceptance & Non-Monogamy with Kate Gordon

Abbey Mackay — Mon, 06 Jan 2025 11:58:18 GMT

Today we are joined by Kate Gordon. Kate competed at the Cross Fit Games in 2015 and 2019 and has since become a certified Cross fit trainer and certified nutrition coach. In 2021 she started CFK nutrition and also hosts two podcasts - Gone Rogue which explores her journey in non-monogamy, and the CFK nutrition podcast.

In this discussion we discuss the impact of Kate’s Crossfit journey on body image, shifting perspectives on fitness and aesthetics, influences of external relationships on body perception, finding lifestyle compatibilities with future partners, body acceptance at sex parties, social media, self-acceptance and so much more.

Kates’ Links:

Athlete Instagram

Nutrition Instagram

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Best of 2024

Abbey Mackay — Wed, 01 Jan 2025 14:14:50 GMT

We handpicked some of our 2024 guest highlights to round out a big year for 2024 and Evolving Love.

This episode features Andrew Gurza, Chris Ryan , Alex Alberto , Molly Roden Winter , Lina Dune , Multiamory, Dr. Constantine R. Campbell, Casey Calvert, Kyron Kruger & Normalizing Non-Monogamy.

Evolving Love Links:

Dr. Constantine R Campbell

Guest Links:

Casey Calvert

Kyron Kruger

Normalizing Non-Monogamy

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

We Are Not Coaches

Abbey Mackay — Sat, 21 Dec 2024 03:47:29 GMT

In today’s episode we discuss why we are not interested in becoming coach, the importance of good therapists and coaches, and we test Gemini AI to see if it could replace the role of a traditional coach.

During the episode we refer to three wonderful coaches and therapists:

Kathy Labriola

Dr Joli Hamilton

Dr. Marie Thouin

Lina Dune a.k.a AskASub

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Dear Margaret

Abbey Mackay — Sat, 07 Dec 2024 15:39:48 GMT

Abbey and Liam discuss a podcast listener (Margaret), who has been leaving comments throughout the year on Spotify. We discuss the comments, her critiques, hypothesise a “theory of mind” and so much more.

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Our Recent Getaway

Abbey Mackay — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 11:53:25 GMT

In today’s episode we discuss our recent getaway to Sydney for the Australian Podcast awards, metamour gifts, chance encounters and so much more.

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

When Liam Broke My Trust

Abbey Mackay — Sat, 16 Nov 2024 12:52:22 GMT

In todays episode we respond to a listener question asking us:

“Have you ever broken each others trust? How did you navigate it?”

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Polycule Practicalities with Laura Boyle

Abbey Mackay — Sat, 09 Nov 2024 12:49:10 GMT

Laura Boyle is an educator, podcast host of “Ready for Polyamory” and author of the book “Monogamy in this Economy?” You may have seen this book recently featured in the New York Times Article titled “6 Books About Non-Monogamy, Recommended By Therapists”.

In today’s conversation we discuss common polyamorous living arrangements, Conflict resolution tools, blended families, the rental market for polyamorous people, parent teacher interviews when polyamorous, de-escalating relationships and so much more.

Evolving Love Links:

Guest Links:

Website | Instagram | TikTok

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

The Episode We Almost Deleted

Abbey Mackay — Sat, 02 Nov 2024 23:39:52 GMT

Abbey and Liam discuss red flags in non-monogamy, before the episode takes an unexpected turn...

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Conscious Monogamy with Christina & Andrew

Abbey Mackay and Christina Watka — Mon, 21 Oct 2024 22:20:42 GMT

Together for fifteen years and parents to three children, Andrew and Christina’s relationship is a wonderful example of consciously choosing monogamy.

In this conversation we cover the role of independence in romantic relationships, exploring compersion in a monogamous context, maintaining the erotic connection over time, what constitutes an infidelity in their relationship, flirting, honesty and trust, what monogamous couples and non-monogamous couples can teach each other and so much more.

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Our First Play Party

Abbey Mackay — Mon, 07 Oct 2024 13:54:24 GMT

In today’s episode we discuss our first play party experience in New York, eating sushi off naked bodies, human candelabras, play party nerves, etiquette of group play environments and so much more…

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Opening Up: Things We Wish We'd Known

Abbey Mackay — Sun, 29 Sep 2024 13:39:19 GMT

In today’s episode we discuss things we wish we knew before opening up our relationships. We cover managing the misconceptions of others, savoring the first experiences, triggers in solo dating, planning and preparation before opening up, the non-monogamy escalator and so much more.

Evolving Love Links:

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Living An Examined Life with "Normalizing Non-Monogamy"

Abbey Mackay — Sat, 21 Sep 2024 13:45:19 GMT

In today’s episode we chat with Emma and Fin from the “Normalising Non-Monogamy” podcast.

We discuss the common denominators in successful non-monogamous relationships, building community and support networks, their opening up journey, exploring the importance of self and the individual, the role of kindness in non-monogamy, mistakes and growth, their OCD and ADHD diagnoses, the importance of living an examined life, opening your relationship together or separately and so much more.

Evolving Love Links:

Guest Links:

Podcast

Community

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Is Dave Grohl Non-Monogamous?

Abbey Mackay — Sat, 14 Sep 2024 11:25:54 GMT

In today’s episode we wade into pop culture to discuss Dave Grohl and his recent public statement….

Women's Retreat - 25th-27th October 2024

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Parenthood Is Not Only For The Monogamous

Abbey Mackay — Sun, 08 Sep 2024 12:16:41 GMT

In today’s episode we discuss our non-monogamy before and after parenthood, feeling protective during pregnancy, maintaining our erotic connection through the early stages of parenthood, the freedom of exploring before parenthood and so much more.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Negging & Unicorns

Abbey Mackay — Sun, 01 Sep 2024 12:55:22 GMT

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com

In today’s Premium episode we discuss “negging” as a form of relating, privacy and dating, the responsibility of vouching for lovers, safety for unicorns, ethics of unicorn hunting, “Dragons”, “Bulls” and so much more!

To listen to the full episode and watch the video become a Paid subscriber to access my complete writing archive, full podcasts and bonus content.

Polyamorous for 50 Years: Kathy Labriola

Abbey Mackay — Fri, 16 Aug 2024 08:53:51 GMT

Kathy Labriola is an author, nurse, counsellor, and hypnotherapist. Kathy is author of four books on consensual nonmonogamy: The Jealousy Workbook, Love in Abundance: A Counselor's Advice on Open Relationships, The Polyamory Break-up Book, and Polyamorous Elders: Aging in Open Relationships.

She has also provided affordable mental health services to alternative communities for the past 30 years. Kathy has been polyamorous for over 50 years and lives with her two husbands in Berkeley, California.

In today’s episode we discuss the importance of intergenerational conversation, whether she still struggles with particular emotions after 5 decades of polyamory, stigma against polyamorous grandparents, sex as an aging person, developing your own code of ethics, non-monogamy as an orientation, class and non-monogamy, advice for younger non-monogamous people, polyamorous elders and so much more.

Guest Links:

kathylabriola.com

Evolving Love Links:

Substack

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 51 - Life Modelling, Spicy Texts & The Art of Curiosity

Abbey Mackay — Fri, 09 Aug 2024 14:17:32 GMT

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com

In today’s Premium episode, we discuss our recent creative adventures, erotic texting, an evening of life modelling and much more!

To listen to the full episode and watch the video become a Paid subscriber to access my complete writing archive, full podcasts and bonus content.

Ep. 50 - Creativity & Non-Monogamy with Multiamory

Abbey Mackay — Fri, 02 Aug 2024 12:55:26 GMT

Today’s episode features Jase, Emily and Dedeker from the renowned Multiamory podcast. With hundreds of episodes, millions of downloads around the world, and a thriving community Multiamory has been featured in numerous publications, including NPR, Vice, Huffington Post, Cosmopolitan, and Elle.

In today’s episode we discuss Emily’s recent transition back to non-monogamy from a long term monogamous relationship, the history of Dedeker, Jase and Emily’s own romantic relationship, connections between creativity and non-monogamy, links between communication styles and music, how the success of Multiamory has impacted their own personal dating lives, Jase and Dedeker finding non-monogamous community in Japan, and so much more.

Guest Links:

Multiamory Website

Multiamory Book

Dedeker’s Coaching

Evolving Love Links:

"What is Compersion?" Book

Substack

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 49 - Evolving Love Live at NFSA

Abbey Mackay — Tue, 30 Jul 2024 14:22:40 GMT

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com

In today’s episode we share our debut live show on the 26th July 2024 at the National Film and Sound Archives of Australia.

We field questions from the audience and guests Molly Roden Winter, Marie Thouin, Lawrence (Our Secret Spot) & Fernanda (Polycurious Podcast)

It was an evening full of vulnerability, laughter & raucous conversations.

To unlock the Full Show with Video and Audio, consider supporting Evolving Love and becoming a Premium Subscriber.

Guest Links:

Molly Roden Winter

Marie Thouin

Fernanda (Polycurious)

Lawrence (Our Secret Spot)

Can Compersion Be Selfish? With Dr. Marie Thouin

Abbey Mackay — Fri, 19 Jul 2024 09:52:21 GMT

Dr. Marie Thouin is a leading expert and scholar on compersion in consensual non-monogamy. She has authored two pioneering research studies, the first-ever encyclopedia entry on compersion, and has recently authored the first-ever scholarly book on compersion “What is Compersion?

Wether you are new to the concept of compersion or well versed, this conversation has something for everyone and raises some interesting questions and food for thought along the way. In this episode we discuss “What is Compersion?”, perceived and real fears, do we really need compersion?, is compersion selfish, reciprocal altruism and kin altruism, can you learn compersion, Liam proposes a new scientific study that involves refractory periods and compersive behaviours, Liam and I unpack our own experiences and so much more…

Guest Links:

Evolving Love Podcast Live Tickets

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 47 - Salsa, Non-Monogamy & Dancer Daddy Doms

Abbey Mackay — Fri, 12 Jul 2024 06:43:11 GMT

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com

On this weeks Premium Episode, Abbey reflects on her recent Salsa dancing night, drawing parallels between the world of dance and non-monogamy. Dancer Daddies, power dynamics, vulnerability, a dance with a lover and so much more…

Ep. 46 - Alex Alberto - "Entwined" & Coming Out At Thanksgiving

Abbey Mackay and Alex Alberto — Thu, 04 Jul 2024 22:11:52 GMT

Alex Alberto is a queer and polyamorous storyteller and educator. They grew up in Montreal and currently live in upstate New York. Alex is the author of the genre-blending memoir, Entwined: Essays on Polyamory and Creating Home. They co-founded Quilted Press, a collective of independent authors who reshape traditional narratives of love, family, and identity. You can connect with Alex on Instagram and TikTok (@thatalexalberto), and learn more about their work at alexalberto.com

In today’s discussion with Alex we talk intimately about Alex’s journey with identity, their upstate NY polycule, weaponizing metamour relationships, their journey into parenthood Alex’s unique and special bond with their partner Don, the concept of feeling “de-countried”, growing up French speaking and how it impacted their gender identity and the powerful Thanksgiving story of coming out as polyamorous to Don’s parents.

Guest Links:

Tik Tok

Evolving Love Links:

26th July 2024: Evolving Love Live at National Film & Sound Archives of Australia

Evolving Love Podcast Live Tickets

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 45 - Would You Rather...

Abbey Mackay — Fri, 28 Jun 2024 11:51:26 GMT

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com

In todays episode we answer your “Would You Rather” questions that were submitted on Instagram.

* “Be monogamous for the rest of your life or have to eat a bowl of worms every morning?”

* “You never date someone again…. or Liam never date someone again?”

* “Date someone with a hot body or a great personality?”

Ep. 44 - Casey Calvert - Adult Industry Star Gets Personal About Non-Monogamy

Abbey Mackay — Sat, 22 Jun 2024 01:16:06 GMT

Casey Calvert is an award-winning Adult director, writer, performer, and content creator. An eleven-year veteran of the industry, she won Director of the Year and Best Screenplay at the 2023 XBiz Awards - the "Golden Globes" of porn.

In today’s wide ranging conversation we discuss Casey’s own journey in non-monogamy and polyamory, porn stars’ approaches to monogamy, parasocial relationships, dating as a famous adult actress, the recent shifts in her marriage and the process of disentanglement, directing realistic porn, controversy with the title “Primary”, expressing eroticism in her personal life and so much more.

Guest Links:

Casey's Instagram

Casey’s Twitter

Casey’s Website

Guest Links:

Evolving Love Project Links:

Live Podcast

Evolving Love Project Website

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 43 - Bouldering Babes, Hillsong & Fantasy Scripts

Abbey Mackay — Fri, 14 Jun 2024 12:17:05 GMT

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com

In todays Premium “Ask Us Anything” episode we answer your questions and discuss Hillsong, “The Idea of You” and so much more.

Questions include:

* “Does it ever get tiring making the ENM thing your whole world?”

* “Do you actively look for people to connect with, or does it happen organically?”

* “How do you communicate you want more than friends with benefits?”

* “How do you and Liam get back into dating other people, after you have had a break from it?

Ep. 42 - The Love Languages Test

Abbey Mackay — Fri, 07 Jun 2024 08:03:18 GMT

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com

In todays episode we take the Love Languages Test LIVE on the podcast and discuss the questions and our answers in real time…

To Unlock the Full Video episode, become a Premium subscriber!

Show Links:

Take The Love Languages Test!

Evolving Love Podcast Live Tickets

Ep. 41 - Chloe Caldwell On Her Acclaimed Novella "WOMEN"

Abbey Mackay — Fri, 31 May 2024 11:39:20 GMT

To celebrate the re-release of her cult classic Queer novel, “WOMEN”, we are overjoyed to be joined by writer Chloe Caldwell.

Named one of Cosmopolitan UK's Best Erotic Novels of All Time, WOMEN intimately explores one young writer’s whirlwind and whiplash affair as she falls deeply in love with a woman for the first time.

In WOMEN, Caldwell lays bare the fierce obsession of addictive love, and asks the question: what, if anything, can who we love teach us about who we are?

Chloe’s essays have appeared in the New York Times, Vice, New York Magazine’s “The Cut”, Nylon and more.

Originally published by Short Flight/Long Drive books in 2015 on a limited print run, WOMEN quickly found a wide and dedicated audience. Emily Ratajkowski and Lena Dunham have cited it as one of their favorite books of all time, and Cheryl Strayed has called the book “magic.”

In this discussion we discuss Chloes own experiences with non-monogamy, Chloe navigating her Queer identity, pre menstrual dysphoric disorder, power play and dynamics and so much more…

Guest Links:

Website:

https://www.chloesimonne.com/

Buy WOMEN

Evolving Love Project Links:

Website:

Podcast & Writing:

https://www.redschool.net/podcast/32

Extra Resources:

Menstruality Podcast ft. Chloe Caldwell

Couplets: A Love Story

https://www.maggiemillner.com/

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 40 - "Are The Kids Ok?" - Dr. Eli Sheff on Polyamorous Families & Parenting

Abbey Mackay — Fri, 24 May 2024 04:08:45 GMT

Dr. Eli Sheff is one of a handful of global academic experts on polyamory, and the foremost academic expert on children in polyamorous families. Specializing in diversity and underserved populations, Sheff is an expert witness, relationship consultant, public speaker, and author.

Her first book, The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and Families was released in 2014 and details Sheff’s findings from the first 15 years of the Polyamorous Families Study. Stories from the Polycule: Real Life in Polyamorous Families (2015), Sheff’s second book, is an edited collection of stories from people in polyamorous families. Sheff’s third book, When Someone you Love is Polyamorous: Understanding Poly People and Relationships, is a brief introduction to polyamory using empirical evidence to start a conversation.

Dr. Sheff has given scores of radio, podcast, print, and television interviews with sources from The New York Times, ABC News and CNN to The Atlantic, New York and Shape magazines.

You can find Dr. Sheff’s work here:

Guest Links:

Website:

https://elisabethsheff.com/

Evolving Love Project Links:

Website:

Podcast & Writing:

https://www.mollyrodenwinter.com/

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 39 - Cheating & Infidelities in Non-Monogamy

Abbey Mackay — Sun, 19 May 2024 01:52:38 GMT

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com

On today’s Premium Video episode, Abbey and Liam reflect on Ashley Madison, the ethics of cheating, what constitutes infidelity in a non-monogamous relationship & more.

Premium Episodes are now Video Episodes!!!

To Unlock the Full Video episode, become a Premium subscriber!

Ep. 38 - Stewart & Molly Roden Winter - The World's Most Famous Polyamorous Couple?

Abbey Mackay and Molly Roden Winter — Fri, 10 May 2024 21:49:14 GMT

To celebrate the Australian release of her New York Time’s Best Selling Memoir “More”, we are joined once again by Molly Roden Winter. With her today, we also have the fortune of being able to speak with her husband Stewart!

Since Molly joined us on Episode 23 of the Evolving Love podcast, she has quickly become a leading voice in non-monogamous discourse. “More” and Molly have appeared everywhere from the New York Times, Time Magazine, Savage Lovecast, The Washington Post, Wall St Journal and The Guardian.

As you will hear from this candid and at times raucous interview, Molly and Stewart have a remarkable connection and ability to deeply interrogate the way they move through the world.

We discuss parenting, the mixed receptions to the book, privilege, humour & sex, and Stewart and Liam’s upcoming polyamorous music soundtrack collab.

Guest Links:

Buy “More” in Australia here:

Buy “More” Worldwide here:

Evolving Love Project Links:

Website:

Podcast & Writing:

https://www.carolltaveras.com/

Episode Cover Photo by Caroll Taveras for Telegraph Magazine

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 37 - Filling The Cup

Abbey Mackay — Fri, 03 May 2024 13:16:27 GMT

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com

On today’s Premium Video episode Abbey and Liam reflect on New Relationship Energy, Erotica, relationship gratitude and so much more.

To Unlock the Full Video episode, become a Premium subscriber!

Ep. 36 - Lina Dune "Ask A Sub" on Fake Doms, Unicorn Hunting & The Ethics of Kink

Abbey Mackay and Lina Dune — Fri, 26 Apr 2024 12:38:21 GMT

Lina Dune is a 24/7 collared submissive, kink writer, podcast host and a fairy sub-mother to all who seek her advice.

She is the voice, writer, and Meme-Queen behind the wildly popular “Ask A Sub” - an online platform and community that explores mindful and consensual kink.

In this conversation we talk about her journey into Kink, Subspace, fake doms, red flags, unicorn hunting, couples privilege, the balance of feminist principles and submission, heteronormative scripts, the shame voice and so much more.

Guest Links:

Website:

https://www.askasub.com/

Podcast:

Ask A Sub

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/askasub2.0

Twitter:

https://twitter.com/AskASub

Patreon:

https://www.patreon.com/askasub

Evolving Love Project Links:

Website:

Podcast & Writing:

www.evolvingloveproject.com

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 35 - Ask Us Anything - Vetoes, Parenting & Therapy

Abbey Mackay — Fri, 19 Apr 2024 06:01:03 GMT

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com

On today’s Premium episode Abbey and Liam asked for anonymous questions to be submitted on Instagram.

Question topics include non-monogamy and parenting, partners and vetoes, balancing different desires within the relationship, advice for broaching non-monogamy with a partner, therapy and more.

https://www.andrewgurza.com/

Ep. 34 - Andrew Gurza on Disability, Queerness & Acceptance

Abbey Mackay — Fri, 12 Apr 2024 13:02:40 GMT

Andrew Gurza is an award winning Disability Awareness Consultant whose written work has been featured on BBC, CBC, Daily Xtra, Gay Times UK & Huffington Post

As a host, Andrew presents the award winning “Disability After Dark” which shines a light on Disability stories and sexuality. He was nominated for a Canadian Podcast Award, a Queerty Award and was chosen as an honouree at the 2020 Webby Awards.

Andrew has appeared on Dan Savage’s Savage Love and Cameron Esposito’s Queery. He has spoken all over the world on sex, disability and what it means to be Queer and Disabled.

Guest Links:

Website:

Podcast:

Disability After Dark

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/andrewgurza6

Twitter:

https://twitter.com/andrewgurza6

Patreon:

https://www.patreon.com/disabilityafterdark

Evolving Love Project Links:

Website:

Podcast & Writing:

www.evolvingloveproject.com

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep 33 - Body Counts, Anniversaries & Podcast Bros

Abbey Mackay — Fri, 05 Apr 2024 13:09:39 GMT

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com

On today’s Premium episode Abbey and Liam reflect on their nine year wedding anniversary, the emergence of “podcast bros”, the concept of “body counts” and more!

https://www.textpublishing.com.au/books/right-story-wrong-story-adventures-in-indigenous-thinking

Ep. 32 - Tyson Yunkaporta on "Right Story, Wrong Story" and Indigenous Approaches to Relationships

Abbey Mackay — Thu, 28 Mar 2024 15:02:49 GMT

In today’s episode we talk with Tyson Yunkaporta. Tyson is an Indigenous scholar who belongs to the Apalech Clan from Far North Queensland. He is the founder of the Indigenous Knowledge Systems Lab at Deakin University in Melbourne, and author of the acclaimed book “Sand Talk – How Indigenous Thinking Can Save The World”, and most recently “Right Story, Wrong Story”. His work focuses on applying Indigenous methods of inquiry to resolve complex issues and explore global crises.

Our conversation with Tyson is a wide ranging journey and flows in many different directions. We talk about the relationship structures of Indigenous communities, his honest reflections and critiques on his own award- winning books. He also shares personal reflections on his own relations hip structure, age gaps within relationships and power dynamics, and much more.

You can buy Tyson’s books at this link below:

Right Story, Wrong Story

Sand Talk

https://www.textpublishing.com.au/books/sand-talk

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 31 - Is Non-Monogamy "Hard Work"?

Abbey Mackay — Fri, 22 Mar 2024 12:30:25 GMT

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com

On today’s Premium episode Abbey and Liam discuss whether non-monogamy is “hard work”, open phone policies and secrative monogamous behaviours, Abbey accepting a role starring opposite Theo James, Liam touring with Emily Ratajkowski, and much more!

Ep.30 - Kyron Kruger - Fetish Wear, Masculinity & Authenticity

Abbey Mackay — Fri, 15 Mar 2024 12:50:31 GMT

Kyron Kruger is a fetish model and kinkster. He is known widely for his creative work that explores latex fetish wear, and he is seen collaborating with Australia’s best photographers & creatives.

In this episode we talk to Kyron about how he found his way into the world of BDSM, his ability to honour his fetishes alongside his masculinity, assumed compatibilities, the future of the sex industry and AI, the economics of being a creative in the sex industry, and so much more.

You can find Kyron’s work here:

Instagram: @King_kruger_

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 29 - Jealous Rage

Abbey Mackay — Thu, 07 Mar 2024 21:01:36 GMT

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com

On today’s Premium episode Abbey and Liam discuss the story featured in Abbey’s most recent article.

To unlock full access to this episode you can upgrade at the link at the bottom of this post.

Ep.28 - Elle McAlpine - "Poor Things" Intimacy Coordinator on Consent, Boundaries & Holding Space

Abbey Mackay — Fri, 01 Mar 2024 07:11:08 GMT

In this episode we talk with Intimacy Coordinator Elle McAlpine.

Elle is fresh from working on the 11 x Oscar-nominated film “Poor Things” which stars Emma Stone in the leading role. We discuss how she became an intimacy coordinator, all things consent, boundaries and holding space for actors, cast and crew on Movie and Television sets.

You can find out more about Elle’s work at:

https://www.ekintimacy.com/

Premium Episodes:

To gain access to the Premium feed and full episodes, you can subscribe at:

Contact Us:

To get in contact, reach out to us at evolvingloveproject@gmail.com

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 27 - You Asked...We Answered

Abbey Mackay — Fri, 23 Feb 2024 12:33:26 GMT

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com

On today’s Premium episode we asked the Evolving Love Project community to submit anonymous questions to Instagram.

Premium Episodes:

To gain access to the Premium feed and full episodes, you can subscribe at:

https://chrisryan.substack.com/

Contact Us:

To get in contact, reach out to us at evolvingloveproject@gmail.com

Ep. 26 - Dr. Christopher Ryan on "Sex at Dawn", "Civilized to Death" and Non-Monogamy

Abbey Mackay and Chris Ryan — Fri, 16 Feb 2024 11:47:23 GMT

In this episode we talk with New York Times Best-Selling Author Dr. Christopher Ryan.

We discuss "Sex at Dawn", "Civilized To Death", psychedelics, the current state of Polyamorous discourse, Ryan's appearance on Australian TV & being invited to the 100th Birthday of the creator of LSD.

Guest Links:

https://chrisryanphd.com/

Premium Episodes:

To gain access to the Premium feed and full episodes, you can subscribe at:

Contact Us:

To get in contact, reach out to us at evolvingloveproject@gmail.com

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 25 - Behind The Curtain

Abbey Mackay — Sat, 10 Feb 2024 12:51:52 GMT

In this episode we discuss Evolving Love Project, reminisce and look ahead to the exciting things on the horizon for Evolving Love.

Premium Episodes:

To gain access to the Premium feed and full episodes, you can subscribe at:

Contact Us:

To get in contact, reach out to us at evolvingloveproject@gmail.com

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Premium: Ep. 24 - The Catfish

Abbey Mackay — Fri, 02 Feb 2024 05:26:20 GMT

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com

On today’s Premium episode we recount one of our wildest stories from our journey in non-monogamy.

A wild adventure of catfishing, travels, trust and non-monogamy.

To gain access to the Premium feed and full episodes, you can subscribe at:

Ep.23 - Molly Roden Winter & Her Acclaimed Polyamorous Memoir "More"

Abbey Mackay and Molly Roden Winter — Fri, 26 Jan 2024 05:27:43 GMT

In this episode we talk with New York Times Best-Selling Author Molly Roden Winter

We cover a wide range of topics including non-monogamy and motherhood, writing her acclaimed polyamorous memoir “More”, “stealthing”, Ashley Madison and so much “More”…

Premium Episodes:

To gain access to the Premium feed and full episodes, you can subscribe at:

https://www.mollyrodenwinter.com/

Guest Links:

Contact Us:

To get in contact, reach out to us at evolvingloveproject@gmail.com

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Premium: Ep. 22 - Let's Play A Game

Abbey Mackay — Fri, 19 Jan 2024 13:06:29 GMT

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com

On today’s Premium episode we play a game, drawing inspiration from the New York Times article “36 Questions That Lead To Love”.

Will we fall deeper and more madly in love? What does the perfect non-monogamous day look like? Who is Abbey’s dream Scientist dinner date? Listen and find out!

To gain access to the Premium feed and full episodes, you can subscribe at:

https://www.constantinecampbell.info/

Ep. 21 - Acceptable Sins with Biblical Scholar Dr. Constantine R. Campbell

Abbey Mackay — Fri, 12 Jan 2024 01:56:12 GMT

“Can you be a Christian and also be Non-Monogamous?”

In this episode we talk with Biblical Scholar Dr. Constantine R. Campbell.

We cover a wide range of topics including Non-Monogamy & The Bible, sin and morality, moving away from Evangelical Christianity & Christian hedonism.

To gain access to the Premium feed and full episodes, you can subscribe at:

evolvinglovepodcast.substack.com

Guest Links:

Contact Us:

To get in contact, reach out to us at evolvingloveproject@gmail.com

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Premium: Ep. 20 - Eye Of The Storm: PMS & Non-Monogamy

Abbey Mackay — Thu, 04 Jan 2024 21:16:09 GMT

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com

On today’s Premium episode we discuss Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) and how it shows up in our Non-Monogamy and relationship. We share about our frustrations when compersion is absent and discuss how we navigate the tensions that arise.

To gain access to the Premium feed and full episodes, you can subscribe at:

evolvingloveproject.substack.com

Ep. 19 – Plot, Scheme & Dream: Poly Cheerleaders & Non-Monogamous Mothers

Abbey Mackay — Fri, 29 Dec 2023 10:58:53 GMT

On today’s episode we plot, scheme, dream what Non-Monogamy will look like for us in 2024. We discuss Poly cheerleaders, the taboo of infidelity in Non-Monogamy, the joys of dating Non-Monogamous mothers, online dating, reconnecting with old flames and more!

evolvingloveproject.substack.com

@evolvingloveproject

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 18 - Our National TV Debut

Abbey Mackay — Sat, 25 Nov 2023 12:00:00 GMT

On today’s episode we discuss our recent appearance on national television in Australia. We talk about the process of filming our short documentary for Channel 10's "The Project", and unpack the reactions and comments that we have received since the show aired.

To get in contact, reach out to us at evolvingloveproject@gmail.com

@evolvingloveproject
evolvingloveproject.com

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 17 - Megan from "Amory Podcast" & Her Journey from Monogamy to Polyamory

Abbey Mackay — Thu, 26 Oct 2023 13:00:00 GMT

In this episode we talk with Megan Bhatia from the popular Amory Podcast.

Megan is a Self-Love and Relationship Coach living in Costa Rica with her husband and children.

Megan shares her story of being featured in American Vogue, polyamorous living arrangements, learning how to date again after monogamy & metamour relationships.

To get in contact, reach out to us at evolvingloveproject@gmail.com

@evolvingloveproject
evolvingloveproject.com

Guest Links:

Amory Podcast:
https://amorypodcast.com/

Vogue Article:
https://www.vogue.com/article/the-rise-of-consensual-non-monogamy

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 16 - The Milf Hunter

Abbey Mackay — Sat, 30 Sep 2023 02:00:00 GMT

In today’s episode we discuss how the TV Show White Lotus relates to non-monogamy, we invite an anti-polyamorous Instagram commenter onto our podcast, infidelity, our recent dating experiences and Abbey’s run in with the “Milf Hunter”.

To get in contact, reach out to us at evolvingloveproject@gmail.com

@evolvingloveproject
evolvingloveproject.com

Retreat Link:

https://www.evolvingloveproject.com/retreats

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 15 - Jessica Fern & David Cooley on "Polywise"

Abbey Mackay — Wed, 13 Sep 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Jessica Fern is the author of "Polysecure". She is a psychotherapist, public speaker, and trauma and relationship expert. With David Cooley, Jessica co-authored her new book "Polywise".

David Cooley is a professional restorative justice facilitator, diversity and privilege awareness trainer, and bilingual cultural broker.

In this episode Jessica and David share about their own experiences with opening up, their thoughts on attachment and codependency, psychedelics and polyamory and their new book, Polywise.

To get in contact, reach out to us at evolvingloveproject@gmail.com

@evolvingloveproject
evolvingloveproject.com

Guest Links:

Jessica Fern
https://www.jessicafern.com/
David Cooley:
https://www.restorativerelationship.com/

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 14 - Dr Joli Hamilton - Polyamorous Stigma, Parenting & the Jealousy Triangle

Abbey Mackay — Tue, 29 Aug 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Dr. Joli Hamilton is the relationship coach for couples who color outside the lines. She is a research psychologist, TEDx speaker, best-selling author, and AASECT certified sex educator. Joli also co-hosts the Playing with Fire podcast with her anchor partner, Ken. Joli’s been featured in The New York Times, The Atlantic, Vogue, and NPR.

In this episode we discuss polyamorous stigma, parenting young adults, dating as a relationship expert & the jealousy triangle.

To get in contact, reach out to us at evolvingloveproject@gmail.com

@evolvingloveproject
evolvingloveproject.com

Guest Links:
@drjoli_hamilton
https://www.jolihamilton.com/
Playing With Fire Podcast

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 13 - Clementine Morrigan - Trauma Informed Polyamory & Breakups in the Age of Cancel Culture

Abbey Mackay — Wed, 09 Aug 2023 12:00:00 GMT

Clementine Morrigan is a controversial figure, a powerhouse, a writer, and a socialist. She’s been making zines since the year 2000 and is the author of several books including Fucking Magic, Sexting and Trauma Magic. She is also one half of the Fucking Cancelled podcast.

In this episode we discuss Clementine's work focusing on Trauma Informed Polyamory, breakups in the age of cancel culture, the importance of extending grace to those with different points of view and her powerful & popular Instagram page.

To get in contact, reach out to us at evolvingloveproject@gmail.com

@evolvingloveproject
evolvingloveproject.com

Guest Links:
@clementinemorrigan
https://www.clementinemorrigan.com/
https://www.fuckingcancelled.com/

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 12 - Solo Dating, Abbey's Non-Monogamous Retreat & Mainstream Dating Apps

Abbey Mackay — Wed, 12 Jul 2023 14:00:00 GMT

In today’s episode we discuss Liam solo dating in New York City, Abbey's upcoming women’s retreat, our ELP gatherings & Abbey venturing out onto mainstream dating apps. We also take some time to browse hinge together in real time!

Find out more about the ELP Retreat at:

https://www.evolvingloveproject.com/retreat

To get in contact reach out to us at evolvingloveproject@gmail.com

@evolvingloveproject

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 11 - Ange Lavoipierre - Non-Monogamy in the Public Eye

Abbey Mackay — Sat, 10 Jun 2023 14:00:00 GMT

In today’s episode we speak with ABC Journalist and Comedian Ange Lavoipierre. We discuss Polyamory in the public eye, coming out as Non-Monogamous, ADHD and Polyamory & more!

See Ange in action at:

Vivid Sydney: Monogamy: The Natural Way to Love?

https://www.vividsydney.com/event/ideas/monogamy-the-natural-way-to-love

Schmeitgeist Podcast:

https://www.abc.net.au/everyday/programs/schmeitgeist

Find on Socials at:
@angelavoipierre

To get in contact reach out to us at evolvingloveproject@gmail.com

@evolvingloveproject

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 10. Cam Fraser - Purity Culture, Sex Education & Stepping away from Toxic Masculinity

Abbey Mackay — Fri, 02 Jun 2023 22:00:00 GMT

In this episode we talk to Australia’s Leading Men’s Sex Coach, Cam Fraser. We discuss Purity Culture, Sex Eduction & Stepping away from Toxic Masculinity.

https://cam-fraser.com/

Australia’s leading Men’s Sex Coach, current Deputy Chair of the Society of Australian Sexologists, and one of Lovehoney’s resident Sexperts, Cam is a Sex Coach, Relationship Counsellor, Sexologist and Tantric Yoga Teacher.

Cam hosts a weekly men’s health podcast called Men, Sex & Pleasure and has a contributed to numerous print and digital publications as an expert on sexuality and masculinity.

https://cam-fraser.com/podcast/

To get in contact reach out to us at evolvingloveproject@gmail.com

@evolvingloveproject
evolvingloveproject.com

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 9 - ‘Our Secret Spot’ Swingers Club with Lawrence and Michelle

Abbey Mackay — Tue, 21 Feb 2023 11:00:00 GMT

In today’s episode we have a conversation with Lawrence and his partner Michelle. Lawrence is the co-owner of Australia's premier Sex club - "Our Secret Spot" in Sydney. This conversation is wide ranging and covers all things sex clubs, parenting and Non-Monogamy & being a public figurehead of Non-Monogamy in Australia.

To get in contact reach out to us at evolvingloveproject@gmail.com

Support us on Patreon
https://www.patreon.com/evolvingloveproject

@evolvingloveproject
evolvingloveproject.com

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep 8. In Defense of Polyamory, New Relationship Energy & Sexual Health

Abbey Mackay — Thu, 24 Nov 2022 11:00:00 GMT

In today’s episode we discuss a recent UK Vogue article on polyamory, whether people are as monogamous as they claim to be, mono/poly relationships, the importance of sexual health testing and whether New Relationship Energy is always a positive.

To get in contact reach out to us at evolvingloveproject@gmail.com

Support us on Patreon
https://www.patreon.com/evolvingloveproject

@evolvingloveproject
evolvingloveproject.com

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 7 - Dr. Marie Thouin - Cultivating Compersion

Abbey Mackay — Mon, 24 Oct 2022 21:00:00 GMT

In today’s episode we are joined by Compersion Researcher Dr. Marie Thouin. We discuss the three main pillars of Compersion, how to cultivate Compersion, jealousy and envy, metamour relationships and how they affect Compersion and Marie’s ongoing quest to add the word Compersion to the dictionary!

To get in contact reach out to us at evolvingloveproject@gmail.com

@evolvingloveproject
evolvingloveproject.com

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 6 - Parenting, Coming Out to our Family & Our Relationship with Masturbation

Abbey Mackay — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 12:00:00 GMT

In today’s episode we discuss, coming out to our family, non-monogamy and parenting, our relationship to masturbation, and the role of perfectionism in Abbey being her best Domme self.

To get in contact reach out to us at evolvingloveproject@gmail.com

@evolvingloveproject
evolvingloveproject.com

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 5. Haley & Sol – Non-Monogamy in NYC, Creative Play Parties & Sex Positive Communities

Abbey Mackay — Thu, 30 Jun 2022 08:00:00 GMT

In todays episode we share a conversation with our dear friends Haley and Sol from New York City. We discuss their approach to non-monogamy, our lingerie dinner party, dating during the time of Covid, creative expression in sex positive communities and play parties for the adventurous.

To get in contact reach out to us at evolvingloveproject@gmail.com

@evolvingloveproject
evolvingloveproject.com

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep 4. Jealousy & Envy, Community Building & Funny Moments

Abbey Mackay — Wed, 22 Jun 2022 14:00:00 GMT

In our fourth episode we will be answering questions from our listeners, including; What are the etiquettes behind dating somebody who is already in an established relationship, how to meet other non-monogamous people, our approaches to jealousy and envy, and a story about what happens when your Ipad accidentally syncs up with your partner's naughty messages.

To get in contact reach out to us at evolvingloveproject@gmail.com

@evolvingloveproject
evolvingloveproject.com

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep 3. Relationship Ideals, Sexual Orientations & Our First Date Fail

Abbey Mackay — Sun, 05 Jun 2022 11:00:00 GMT

In todays third episode we discuss what our ideal non-monogamous relationship configuration might look like, our first date fail, recognizing people on alternative dating apps & our sexual orientations and how they show up in our non-monogamy.

To get in contact reach out to us at evolvingloveproject@gmail.com

evolvingloveproject.com

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 2. Sleepovers, Unexpected Emotions & The Reclaim

Abbey Mackay — Thu, 05 May 2022 08:00:00 GMT

In this second episode we will be responding to questions submitted to us after our pilot podcast. How do we reconnect physically and emotionally as a couple after being with other partners? Are we both inherently non-monogamous by nature? How much detail do we share with each other about our other connections? Join us as we respond to these questions and much more!

To get in contact reach out to us at evolvingloveproject@gmail.com

evolvingloveproject.com

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Ep 1. Introducing the Evolving Love Podcast

Abbey Mackay — Sat, 09 Apr 2022 04:00:00 GMT

In this pilot episode of the Evolving Love Podcast we will be discussing our approach to opening up our relationship 8 years ago, the influence of patriarchy and possession in relationships, Will Smith at the Oscars, stigmas around non-monogamy and the excitement of the sexual unknown.Premium Episodes:

To gain access to the Premium feed and full episodes, you can subscribe at: