Rock bottom isn’t rehab.Rock bottom is death.

I sat down with Melissa, a mother who lost her daughter, Angel, to a cocaine overdose in 2023. Not fentanyl. Not opioids. Cocaine.

This conversation is not polished grief. It’s lived grief. The kind that still shows up when the phone rings. The kind that lives in autopsy reports, sibling dynamics, harm reduction decisions, and the quiet after chaos ends.

We talk about what families are told they’re supposed to do versus what actually helps. We talk about stimulant overdoses, why Narcan doesn’t always work, and the damage caused when love is mistaken for enabling.

If you’re a parent loving someone in active use, or carrying the weight of loss, this episode is for you. Not to fix you. Not to motivate you. Just to tell the truth out loud.

You’re not wrong for loving them.And you’re not weak for still grieving.

🎧 Listen on all podcast platformsThis episode of Do What You Can Live With is available wherever you get your podcasts. This podcast ranks #6 for harm reduction in 2026

📺 Watch the full video version on YouTubeI’ve linked the YouTube episode below if you want to see the full, uncut video conversation.

Watch on YouTube Here

Content note: This episode discusses overdose, child loss, and grief.

We cover:

* The myth of “rock bottom” and why families pay the price

* Cocaine and stimulant overdoses without opioids

* Why Narcan does not reverse stimulant overdoses

* Harm reduction, MAT, and what families deserve to know

* Loving your child without abandoning yourself

If this episode helped you feel less alone, you’re welcome here. Share it if it feels right. Sit with it if that’s all you can do today.

I also share a story from yesterday that still feels unreal: taking my daughter — almost two years in recovery — and her children to the Magic Kingdom. Watching her run around with her son, sober and present, reminded me why letting go mattered more than forcing my plans onto her.

If you are drowning right now, scared of losing your child, or feel like you can’t survive another day of chaos, this episode is for you.

What we talk about:

Parenting from fear vs clarity

The breaking point that forced me to surrender

What radical acceptance actually looks like

Why bringing up rehab every day made things worse

How I stopped reacting and started listening

Letting go of the fantasy timeline of recovery

Why self-abandonment is so common in parents

How I rebuilt trust with my daughter

A real exercise you can do tonight to start shifting your own patterns

Resources mentioned:

My book: Do What You Can Live WithAmazon link: https://a.co/d/1pnyKll

Free resources for families: brandimac.com

Share your story or ask a question:Email: brandi@brandimac.com

YouTube video of this episode:Here

If this episode helped you:

Please leave a rating or review. It helps other families find this support when they’re searching in the darkest moments.

It cracked open something in me that I thought was long gone.

Empathy.

As a kid, I had it. I was it. I cared deeply, felt everything, wanted to help everyone.But after years of abuse, of surviving and hardening and shutting down, I turned cold.Stone cold.No warmth. No softness. Just survival.

And I hated who I was.

I hated the way I moved through the world. I hated how numb I had become.There were years where the self-loathing was so loud, I honestly didn’t want to be here.The only reason I didn’t end my life?Because I knew my girls would end up with their dad.

And I couldn’t let that happen.They mattered more than taking the pain away.

But when I learned of my daughter’s addiction. When I really understood the depth of it…it wrecked me.Brought me to the floor.Not with anger.With guilt.

Because I knew, deep down, that I contributed to her pain.I didn’t cause her addiction. But I contributed to the wounds that led her down that path.

And that? That’s a kind of grief no one prepares you for.

It’s one thing to be humbled.It’s another thing to be shattered by your own reflection, to see all the ways your best intentions still left cracks in your child’s foundation.

But somewhere in that hell, something happened.

Empathy came back.

It came through sitting in the dark, not trying to fix it, not trying to run.It came through meeting my daughter where she was, even in active use.It came through not turning away from pain…hers or mine.

And I’ll say something that might sound messed up to people who haven’t lived it:

If I had to go through it all over again…to regain that kind of empathy…I would.

Not because I enjoyed it.Not because I’m grateful for trauma.But because something in me came back to life that I thought was dead forever.

I just wish my kids didn’t have to carry the scars.That part breaks me every day.

But I believe something now that I didn’t back then:

You can go through the worst kind of hell—and come out either numb and bitter,or broken open and awake.

You can ignore it.You can deny your role.You can keep yourself frozen in shame and anger.

Or you can say:This hurt like hell. But I’m going to grow from it. I’m going to learn to love people better than I ever did before. Even strangers. Even people I used to judge.

That’s what healing looks like for me.

It’s not about pretending I’m whole.It’s about becoming someone I can finally look at in the mirror and not completely hate.

I still live with regret.So much regret.

But I can’t go back.

What I can do is make damn sure the future looks different.For my daughters.For my grandchildren.For the people I now choose to see, to understand, to love because I finally remembered how.

And maybe, just maybe…that was divine intervention.

Even if it came disguised as pain.

—Brandi MacNo shame. Just truth. And the kind of healing that starts when you stop running from your story.

If this story touched something in you-you're not alone. I’d love to hear your story, too. Feel free to hit reply or share this with someone who might need it.We heal louder when we stop hiding.

If you’ve ever felt like no one talks about the hard stuff—you're in the right place.I write, speak, and advocate for families navigating addiction, trauma, and healing.

👉 Explore free tools, guides, and raw stories at brandimac.com/families👉 Subscribe to Prescribed Chaos for real talk that doesn’t sugarcoat a damn thing.

No shame. Just truth. And healing, one hard conversation at a time.

I built my site as a real-time survival kit for families like ours. If you need more than words, start here: brandimac.com

00:00 Introduction and Background on Sobriety

03:00 The Journey of Addiction: Drugs of Choice

05:17 Understanding Fentanyl: The Hidden Dangers

08:04 Impact of Drug Use on Family Relationships

11:02 The Struggles of Recovery and Healing 1

3:47 Medicated Assisted Treatment: A New Perspective 1

9:57 The Importance of Proper Dosing in Treatment

34:22 Navigating Detox and Medication Management

37:01 Experiences in Treatment Facilities

40:55 Therapeutic Approaches and Their Impact

45:50 Finding Connection Amidst Isolation

49:07 Challenges of Reintegration After Treatment

49:15 Lessons Learned in Sobriety

55:52 Supporting Loved Ones Struggling with Addiction

To contact Brandi Mac you can email: brandimac.creator@gmail.com

Brandi Mac (Host) is an Acute Care Nurse Practitioner, and mother of an adult child in recovery from substance use disorder. 

Dr. Taylor Nichols, a certified addiction physician and ER doctor, discusses his journey from working in the emergency department to specializing in addiction medicine. He shares his experiences of seeing the broken healthcare system and the harm it causes to people who use drugs. Dr. Nichols emphasizes the importance of harm reduction and reducing stigma in healthcare. He also addresses misconceptions about medications like Suboxone and buprenorphine and provides insights into managing pain in patients with opioid use disorder. In this part of the conversation, Dr. Taylor Nichols discusses the process of tapering off opioids, specifically focusing on the use of buprenorphine and the medications Sublicade and Brixadi.

 He explains how buprenorphine works to replace opioids in the brain and reduce withdrawal symptoms. Dr. Nichols also discusses the challenges of tapering off fentanyl and the importance of finding the right dose of buprenorphine to effectively manage withdrawal. She highlights the Bernese method as an alternative approach to tapering and explains the differences between Sublicade and Brixadi. Additionally, Dr. Nichols addresses the concerns of families and loved ones of individuals with substance use disorder, emphasizing the importance of supporting the individual's goals and providing them with evidence-based treatment options.

Dr. Nichols TikTok: Click Here

Dr. Nichols Website: Click Here

Recovery Reform Podcast by Dr. Nichols and McCauley Sexton: Click Here

Recovery Reform YouTube Channel: Click Here

Article: Naloxone to Buprenorphine

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Background
03:46 Harm Reduction and Stigma
10:38 Respecting Autonomy and Challenging Stigma
14:46 Debunking Misconceptions about Naloxone and Buprenorphine
18:23 Physician Fear and the Opioid Crackdown
25:16 The Functionality of Naloxone in Suboxone
32:54 The Ceiling Effect of Buprenorphine
36:26 Managing Pain in Patients with Opioid Use Disorder
38:25 Understanding the Role of Buprenorphine
41:21 Managing Withdrawal Symptoms
44:04 Long-Acting Injectable Buprenorphine
50:43 Comparing Sublicade and Brixadi
55:27 Supporting Individuals and Families
01:02:16 Empowering Individuals to Make Decisions

Brandi Mac discusses her journey as a mother of a child with substance use disorder and her own healing process. She talks about the challenges of navigating her daughter's recovery and the impact it has had on their relationship. Brandi also shares her experience with perimenopause and the importance of addressing hormonal imbalances. She emphasizes the need for families to take ownership of their role in addiction and the importance of therapy and self-care.

Takeaways

• Loving someone with substance use disorder is incredibly challenging and requires ongoing support and understanding.
• Healing and rebuilding trust in the family after addiction takes time and effort from all members.
• Addressing hormonal imbalances, such as those experienced during perimenopause, can have a significant impact on mental health and overall well-being.
• Families need to take ownership of their role in addiction and work on their own healing and growth.
• Therapy and self-care are essential for both individuals struggling with addiction and their loved ones.

Resources are available on my website : Resources Here

TikTok: The_original_brandi_mac

Email: Collateraldamagesucks@gmail.com

Email us @ collateraldamagesucks@gmail.com

Resources and website https://www.brandimac.com/

Thank you for sticking around. 

https://www.brandimac.com/

This episode I talk about what it was like having our daughter in active drug use home for Thanksgiving for the first time in 5 years. The day even included family pictures. Those who may be new here my daughter is 23 and struggles substance use disorder. She is an IV drug user and we have been raising our grandson since his first birthday. I also talk about the potential for opening a treatment facility. 

Thank you for listening and please download and leave a review so we can get this episode out to more people. 

If you want to learn more about the story there is a playlist called "Sam Davis and Marc" on my Tiktok profile when this all started. 

Brandi Mac Tiktok TikTok Link

Melissa's TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@the.real.melissa

Brandi Mac's TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@the_original_brandi_mac

Go fund me Go fund me for funeral expenses

If you love the podcast please leave a review and follow!

Dr. Stacy Murphy Navigating Addiction

Dr. Stacy Murphy TikTok

If you are in need of resources check out The Apathetic Journey

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You can follow all of Brandi Mac's social media accounts at Brandi Mac's Website

Recovery and Awareness shirts Stop The Stigma Apparel

If you have been impacted by the "Florida Shuffle" or had an experience with a "body broker" I would love to hear your story!!!

Article: https://www.justice.gov/usao-sdfl/pr/owner-sentenced-more-27-years-prison-multi-million-dollar-health-care-fraud-and-money

PBS: https://www.pbs.org/video/sci-body-brokering-rampant-in-addiction-rehab-industry-1665520234/

Body Brokers Movie: Body Brokers Movie

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As always I appreciate all of your reviews which will start being shared in the monthly newsletter.

Brandi Mac TikTok: Brandi Mac TikTok

Email the podcast @ collateraldamagesucks@gmail.com

Sponsor: The Apathetic Journey- All Things Addiction for families

AA/NA online meetings: https://aa-intergroup.org/meetings/

Smart Recovery: https://meetings.smartrecovery.org/meetings/

Brandi Mac TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@the_original_brandi_mac

Interested in being on the podcast? Email us @ collateraldamagesucks@gmail.com

Join email list to be notified when a new episode drops @https://collateral-damage-podcast-with-brandi-mac.ck.page/f6a9af5a50

 This episode includes some bread crumbs on the TikTok creator being interviewed for our first interview series. I talk about being naive in the beginning of this journey #motherofanaddict, when some in the harm reduction tried to cancel me. Also end the show with some honest and truthful advice. 

Thank you to each of you who have followed my podcast, we are in the top 100 on Apple for mental health in the US. 

Alanon link: Al-anon meetings

What I am currently reading :How to Change your mind by Michael Pollan

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@the_original_brandi_mac

If you are interested in being on the show please email the show at:

collateraldamagesucks@gmail.com

I am looking for those in recovery, loved ones, those in active use, therapists, rehab owners and any other area that involves addiction and recovery. 

Follow me on TikTok: Brandi Mac's TikTok

Instagram: Brandi Mac's Instagram