Fork in Chopsticks

Not sure how the filmmaker arrived at that title, but I remember holding no objections. I was just amazed that the short film was made at all. Still amazed! On my old personal website, the page for the movie looked like this:

The editor of the story on East of the Web created a great logline for it:

Kung fu dubbee and would-be actress, Ally gets one last chance.

As far as audio recommendations go for this round, I have become a huge fan of the Acquired podcast:

These are very longform — seems like four hours is their norm nowadays. And often even longer; I just finished listening to the trio of episodes on Google, so that’s twelve hours. And they blew right by.

All right — one last thing.

I lied! This will not be the final episode of Spoken into the Ether, as there will be another next month.

So you’re not done with me yet. Until next time!

I don’t write scifi stories too often — in fact, this might be the only one. And of all the short fiction I have written, this is the one that got the briefest attention of Hollywood (millisecond). That plus the story itself awaits you.

As for my audio recommendation, I recently discovered the Literature and History Podcast. It’s been going on since 2016, so I’m very late to the game, but the beauty of a project like this is that it’s completely evergreen — after all, Doug Metzger’s podcast deals with classics like the Iliad and the Bible. Incredibly researched, superbly narrated (what a voice!), and hilariously sung (he writes a comic song for each episode), I’m not even on the 20th episode and can’t wait to get caught up.

The story I’m reading for this episode is OJ adjacent — the protagonist isn’t right in the head, and there is indeed violence. It involves a television director, a sub shop, and unrequited love…though obsession is probably a better descriptor.

For my audiobook recommendation, my Philip Roth journey continues. The Great American Novel is one of his lesser known works, but not only does James Daniels narrate the hell out of it (he must assay at least twenty distinct characters, possibly thirty), the novel is 100% about baseball. The 2026 season’s opening day is just weeks away; for once, my timing is right on!

The fourth episode of this podcast featured a jettisoned chapter from my first novel; this is its sibling, the second of two deleted chapters now resurrected. It’s a domestic tale, involving a chef who grew a beard while his wife was out of town. Hilarity does not ensue.

On the audiobook front, I’ve been on a Philip Roth kick, and the kicking continues! Portnoy's Complaint, read by Ron Silver.

I love that the cover says it’s directed by Philip Roth. What does that mean? I can only imagine Philip told Ron how to read the book, though I doubt Ron needed much help because he was such a great actor. It’s yet another fantastic reading by him. Be warned, this book is still quite raunchy even by today's standards, or maybe especially by today's standards. For me personally, it overstayed its welcome about 80% of the way through, but it ends strongly and I must say, I can’t remember the last time I laughed so much listening to a book. No question it’ll offend many, many people, but I enjoyed it immensely.

The thing that stands out with this story is that it’s written in the second person — the “you” voice. Which I have often called a bastardized “I” voice, because that’s its eventual function, to put you into the story so you see it from my point of view.

Here’s the lovely cover that my story appeared in.

InterText was one of the first online lit magazines. It ran from 1991 to 2004! Holy cow, that is like a hundred years in internet time.

And speaking of time, it’s recommendation time! Another Philip Roth classic, The Plot Against America, read once again by Ron Silver.

I wish I didn’t have to say this is timely reading/listening, but it is. A miniseries was made by HBO and shown during the pandemic, which I have not seen, but I think the book will be more than enough.

Here’s the very first one:

It premiered in 2004, and this story you are about to hear, “The Lost Diaries of a Cro-Magnon Man,” was written right around that time. So credit where credit’s due — thank you, GEICO Caveman! Also, thank you to Michael, who accepted this story for In Posse Review.

For this episode, my audiobook recommendation is not for a book but for a narrator — Grover Gardner. For the last few months, I’ve been listening to The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich, by William L. Shirer. It’s more than 57 hours long, and I have five hours to go. Gardner read this book, and he’s also read all of Robert A. Caro’s LBJ books (I’ve listened to the first two). At this point, it’s not crazy to measure this man’s reading in days instead of hours.

That is the Alpha Tau chapter of Phi Kappa Tau, which still exists today at 106 The Knoll, Ithaca, New York, and indeed it was my first house, as my formative years were spent in an apartment complex. And the reason why I read the essay first is because this short story is all about my fraternity experience. Animal House it was not — not even close!

Two milestones of note, one of which Substack celebrated in a very Substack way:

And the other:

Thank you, dear readers and listeners! I’m actually kind of shocked that there have been a thousand downloads (1002, to be exact, as of this moment). My hope was we’d get there by the end of the series, so these are some very sweet metrics.

And on the subject of podcasts, if you haven’t listened to Kevin Stroud’s The History of English Podcast, you are in for a treat. I have listened to all 186 (and some bonus episodes, too) and eagerly await his next one.

* Bird Figurine

* 1950

* Confessions of My Wart, Which Is on My Right Foot, Second Toe

I don’t have a picture for the third story, but maybe that’s for the best. Does anyone really want to see a photo of a wart, even if it’s a talking wart? Maybe especially if it’s a talking wart…

My audiobook recommendation for this episode is Demi Moore’s memoir Inside Out.

I still can’t get over just how young she was when she was in the iconic movies of my youth, such as St. Elmo’s Fire (just 23!). Perhaps it’s her husky voice, but she’s always seemed older than her actual years. As the book nears its end, Demi’s emotions become almost palpable. She’s never been one of my favorite actresses, but after listening, I can tell you that my esteem for her has never been higher.

Anyway, this is what I consider this episode to be — a DVD extra equivalent for my first novel, Everything Asian. Initially it was the second chapter, featuring a wayward mother and daughter team of shoplifters who ran into the Kim family. As you can imagine, hijinks ensue. This chapter was ultimately jettisoned, but now it lives on here on my Substack. I hope you enjoy it.

And now an extra of that DVD extra — the graphic below comes from an essay I wrote for The New York Times back in 2009, which you can see features a boy showing a pagoda to a customer. It is, believe it or not, a pagoda music box! The novel still has one, too, at the end of the first chapter, and it has a nonfiction counterpart. Confused? I think I am, too…

For this episode’s recommendation of an audiobook, I’d like to highlight the narrator Julia Whelan. She sometimes reads for The New York Times, and her performance of Taffy Brodesser-Akner’s essay on Val Kilmer back in 2020 is not to be missed.

When I first saw this illustration in print, I found it rather frightening and didn’t quite understand why Chloe had taken this dark path. But then I thought about this story from the mother’s point of view and it made startling sense. Before this art, I thought my story was mostly funny, but Chloe made me realize it’s actually mostly scary. But also funny! They go hand in hand, always.

Since I mentioned those excellent Philip Roth audiobooks last time, I’m thinking I’ll keep suggesting other audiobooks. I’m listening to Kaveh Akbar’s Martyr! right now, and although I’m only halfway through, I have zero reservations recommending it. Well, maybe not zero…0.5?

My biggest complaint is that when the book veers off the central story (where protagonist Cyrus talks with the dying painter/performance artist at the Brooklyn Museum), which it does just about every other chapter, I wish these ancillary parts hewed closer to the main narrative. I’m sure they will, eventually and retrospectively, but it’s a bit of a slow burn. And speaking of burning, I couldn’t help but recall the Seinfeld episode “The Burning” when the book begins, because that’s almost exactly the situation that Akbar depicts, where Cyrus is acting in front of medical students with a disease. Thankfully it isn’t Kramer’s gonorrhea, but I found the echo odd!

Huge, huge props to Arian Moayed, the narrator. I loved him in You Hurt My Feelings, and his portrayal of different voices, accents, and genders is masterful here.

p.s. I have finished Martyr! since writing the text above. My recommendation remains in place — I think the last chapter of the book could’ve been tighter, but it’s a remarkably well written work overall, especially for a first-time novelist. I have noticed upon reading reader reactions is that there is some uncertainly regarding the ending. I don’t want to spoil this, but there is no spoiler tag in Substack, so I’ll write my opinion in ROT-13, a rudimentary encryption method. You can simply go to rot13.com and paste the following to decrypt it.

Ur qvrf. V’z fhecevfrq guvf vf rira n cbvag bs qvfphffvba. Vg vfa’g rknpgyl pyrne whfg jura ur fgnegf qlvat, ohg ng bar cbvag va gur svany puncgre:

“Plehf jnvgrq, naq va uvf jnvgvat orpnzr vapernfvatyl njner bs ubj ubg gur tebhaq unq tbggra haqre uvf srrg.”

Plehf vf fvggvat bhgfvqr va gur pbyq ba gur orapu. Ur vf rkcrevrapvat ulcbgurezvn. Naq gura nyzbfg ng gur raq:

“Oruvaq gurz, n terng oynpx fgnyyvba, gjvpr gur fvmr bs gur erfg, jvgu na vyyhzvangrq evqre tevccvat gur ervaf qerffrq va n ybat oynpx pybnx.”

Guvf vf gur fnzr ubefr/evqre gung unf svtherq vagb gur abiry frireny gvzrf — uvf hapyr Nenfu, Bexvqru’f cnvagvat — fvtavslvat qrngu. Vg’f fb ba gur abfr gung Plehf fnlf gb Mrr, “Ernyyl?”

Gura: “Gur tbyqra yvtug penpxvat guebhtu gur tebhaq unq tngurerq vagb n infg naq qrrc cbby, jnez naq thetyvat nofragyl yvxr na hanggraqrq vasnag.”

Naq gur svany yvar bs gur abiry: “Nebhaq gurz, oveqf naq oevtug oybffbzf qebccrq yvxr svfgf bs fabj sebz gur fxl.”

Gur orqynz Plehf vf rkcrevrapvat vf uvf qrngu. V pna’g frr gur obbx raqvat nal bgure jnl ohg uvz qlvat, fvapr gung’f jung ur’f jnagrq fvapr gur ortvaavat bs gur abiry.

On a slightly related topic, I have an audiobook recommendation: Philip Roth’s Goodbye, Columbus, his first book. There are two versions of this audiobook; the one I’ve listened to is the older one. Your local library may have it — the cover looks like this (via NYPL):

According to Audiofile, John Rubinstein narrates the titular novella. It’s a fantastic performance. Because I’m a petty listener, I’m always on the lookout for mispronunciations. The only miscue: U of Illinois’s Fighting Illini, which he pronounces as ill-ee-nye (should be ill-lie-nie). 😊

This was the second Roth I listened to. The first was American Pastoral, which also has two versions. I listened to the older one (NYPL, take two):

Narrated by Ron Silver, who recently passed away. I remember him from Reversal of Fortune, where he played the lawyer Alan Dershowitz. Petty mispronunciations: Booton (boon-ton, should be Boon-en), and Goethel (go-ethel, should be Gah-thal).

Listening to this later work of Roth’s in comparison to his first was an interesting experience. I found Goodbye, Columbus to be superior in every way — American Pastoral has this strange framing device where the story of the main character, Seymour “The Swede” Levov, is constructed by Roth’s alter ego, Nathan Zuckerman, you could say in real time. It’s a unique way to execute the plot, in a way giving Roth/Zuckerman absolute control over the character, but that also results in a kind of narrative vacuum. Because we know the story is being constructed, everything that happens feels less important than it should be — it’s all made up anyway, so who cares? Of course, every novel is a made-up story by the writer…so it’s kind of metafiction-y, what Roth is doing. For me, this hurt the book more than it helped.

One thing for sure, Roth’s dialogue was on point from the very beginning of his career. My favorite part of Goodbye, Columbus was Leo Patimkin’s monologue, where he details his exploits as a light bulb salesman. His speech goes on for pages, but I couldn’t get enough of it, and found it better than anything I encountered in American Pastoral.

Which made me wonder about my own career as a novelist — have I improved from my first book (Everything Asian, 2009) to my latest (Lines, 2024), on a purely writing level? Fifteen years is not a long time, but not short, either. I think my plotting skills may have gotten more complex, but honestly, I don’t think I’ve become a better writer, line for line, per se. That seems like bad news, but maybe not. At least I don’t think I’m getting any worse!

To celebrate this grand occasion, I’ve decided to put out the first of a dozen of my short stories in audio form. It’s titled “The Suitcase,” and it was published in 2015 by The Margins, the magazine run by the Asian American Writers Workshop. The best way to do this was through here, Substack, via their podcast wing. I’ve decided to call the podcast Spoken into the Ether, because that’s literally what I’ve done. The hope is that the bits and bytes will make their way to actual human ears.

I hope to put out an episode a month. Fingers crossed I can abide by my very not-so-grand ambitions!