Hey everybody! If there’s anything that we have figured out in Cancer Chronicles Season 5: Survivorship, it’s that healing is not linear. In this episode, share what it was like applying for Social Security Disability while navigating a rectal cancer diagnosis, chemotherapy, radiation, lower anterior rectal resection, living with an ileostomy, ileostomy closure surgery and ongoing recovery challenges — including the emotional and logistical reality of trying to prove disability while actively living through illness, brain fog, fatigue, trauma, and uncertainty. I say all of that so that I can own what happened without minimizing it and knowing that I got to the other side.There’s also a lot of gratitude in this episode.Because somehow — through community support, family, grants, hospital assistance programs, neighbors, and sheer grace — I made it through cancer treatment without medical debt.Which is a freaking miracle!

Episode topics

Medicaid confusion

healthcare marketplace loopholes

paperwork during chemo brain

surviving systems while trying to survive cancer

the strange in-between space between “you survived” and “your life is stable again”

being denied disability multiple times and deciding to hire a lawyer because the system became impossible to navigate alone

the bizarre income qualification contradictions between Medicaid, SSI, SSDI, the healthcare marketplace, and mortgage lending

why so many sick and disabled people feel trapped inside bureaucratic limbo

If you’re navigating chronic illness, disability systems, cancer recovery, financial uncertainty, or the strange emotional landscape of needing help after being independent for a long time, I hope this episode helps you feel seen.

You can find more episodes, writing, zines, and ongoing updates over at Jenni Tooley Presents.

Love you lots!Jenni

What started as a story about auditioning for Arlington Road turned into a conversation about how our stories evolve over time. Looking back 30 years later, I can see lessons about authenticity, letting go of desperation, trusting myself, and finding my own way that I couldn’t see back then.

We also wandered through cancer recovery, personal rituals, mantras, gratitude, and the importance of making room for a little joy while we’re doing life.

I’m grateful for the chance to revisit these memories with fresh eyes and even more grateful for the people who joined me along the way.

What story from your past means something different to you now than it did when you were living it? And what are you grateful for in this moment?

Oh yeah… if you’d like your own copy of Confessions of an Aging Ingenue, I have a few signed copies available. $35, signed, sealed, and delivered straight to you. Just send me a note and we’ll make it happen.Until next time- you are loved!Jenni

Our stories keep changing as we do. If you want to keep exploring those stories with me—along with creativity, reinvention, and whatever comes next—subscribe at www.jennitooley.com and come along.

Hey everyone! I did this video live so that I wouldn’t try to go back and edit it or fix it in any way. And guess what? It still took me 5 days to decide to post it! I’ve been on the fence about it for a loooong time but after spending 4 hours at CarMax with a 23-year-old salesperson who kept asking me questions about what 9/11 was like because “he had never met anybody who was there”, I suddenly realized that I am now “somebody who was there”. I also realized that he hadn’t even been born when this happened… so here it is. Raw, real, and off the cuff.

In September 2001, I was living in Weehawken, New Jersey, a single stop outside Manhattan. From the cliffs overlooking the river, I had an unobstructed view of the New York City skyline. On that beautiful September morning—blue skies, monarch butterflies, a cool breeze—I watched smoke pour from the World Trade Center and saw both towers collapse.What stands out most in my memory is the surreal contrast between the beauty around me and the horror unfolding across the water. Butterflies floated through the air while buildings fell. The river sparkled while people were running for their lives. My mind struggled to reconcile what my eyes were seeing.

In this episode, I share what it was like to witness those events from a distance close enough to see, but far enough away that the full reality took years to process. I talk about the days and months that followed: the fear, the uncertainty, the military presence, the missing-person posters covering subway stations, the smell that lingered over the city, and the way trauma can settle into the nervous system long after a crisis ends.

I also reflect on an unexpected lesson that emerged from that time. While riding through the Lincoln Tunnel in the months after the attacks, consumed by fear and hypervigilance, I realized I had a choice. I could spend my life anticipating disaster, or I could choose to be present for the life I was actually living. That realization became one of the most important gifts hidden inside an otherwise devastating experience.

A decade later, during the Bastrop wildfires in Texas, a dream and the smell of smoke triggered memories I didn’t even realize I was still carrying. What followed was a profound release of grief, fear, and shock that my system had been holding for years.

This isn’t a historical analysis of 9/11. It’s a personal remembrance of what it felt like to be there, how trauma can echo across decades, how communities respond in times of crisis, and how healing sometimes arrives long after we think we’ve moved on.

Most of all, it’s a reflection on survival, resilience, and gratitude.

Twenty-five years later, I’m grateful to be alive. Grateful for the healing that’s happened. Grateful for the people I love. And grateful for the reminder that even after immense loss, joy is still possible.

Sometimes we don’t process a life-changing event when it happens. Sometimes we survive it, keep moving, and only years later discover what our hearts and bodies have been carrying. Healing doesn’t always happen on our timeline. But when we’re ready, what has been buried can finally rise, move through us, and become part of our story rather than something that controls it.You are loved:)Jenni

Cancer Chronicles S5.E9: Trauma, Tight Asses & Pelvic Floor Therapy

This episode was recorded on February 1, six months after my ileostomy closure surgery, and explores what recovery actually looks like after chemotherapy, radiation, surgery, bowel reconstruction, and reconnecting an entire digestive system.More Specifically:

* what pelvic floor therapy actually is and what happens during an exam

* how LARS surgery scar tissue can affect bowel function

* how surviving trauma — physical, emotional, spiritual, historical — can leave the body in a constant state of bracing

* convincing your body that it’s safe again

* why my anus apparently refuses to relax

* the deeply humbling experience of celebrating a successful poop

If you’re going through cancer recovery, chronic illness, pelvic floor issues, trauma recovery, post-surgical healing, or simply trying to reconnect with your body after a hard season, I hope this helps you feel less alone. If you know someone who could benefit from this podcast, please share it:)

Love ya lots!Jenni

You all rock! Now on with the show…

Cancer Chronicles S5:Ep8 Treatment Aftercare, Spiritual Immunity & Healing Buttholes

After rectal cancer treatment, there are a lot of strange little things that become part of everyday life. Some are scary. Some are annoying. Some are unexpectedly funny. And some involve conversations with medical professionals where you ask for “skincare tips” and they mistakenly think that these tips are for your face.There’s also a quiet thread running underneath this episode about recovery after active treatment — the strange emotional space where the emergency is technically over, but your body and nervous system are still trying to figure out what happened.The Breakdown

* sensitive skin and skincare for your butt

* recovery realities nobody talks about like long-term radiation damage, fecal incontinence and IBS

* the unexpected emotional joy of a bidet attachment

* rebuilding an aftercare team

* protecting both my physical and spiritual immune systems

* pulling inward for a while

* allowing myself to simply exist without hiding my scars

If you’re navigating cancer recovery, chronic illness, burnout, nervous system exhaustion, or just trying to feel human again after a hard season… this one’s for you.

Love ya lots.Jenni

In this episode, I reflect on survivorship as something embodied rather than conceptual. I share about the unexpected return of physical echoes from treatment, including moments from hospital stays that still live in the nervous system and body memory.

One memory in particular — repeated IV attempts, blown veins, and alarm machines triggered by movement — opens into a larger reflection on how the body holds onto experiences long after they seem “over.”

This is a conversation about what lingers, what resurfaces, and what it means to rebuild trust with a body that has been through a lot.

Season 5: Survivorship is unfolding in real time.

If you want to support me and this ongoing work, you can do so via Substack membership at www.jennitooley.com or direct support (Venmo @jenni-tooley, PayPal/Zelle: jennitooley@gmail.com).

Thank you- you are loved. Jenni

The body does not follow calendars. It follows capacity. For me, survivorship is a space that doesn’t end when treatment ends, but continues with digestive issues, fatigue, physical therapy, nervous system regulation, and the daily negotiation with what my body can actually do.

This season, my only real guide is simple: my healing comes first. Too bad it took cancer to remind me of that:)Until next time- you are loved.

If this work resonates with you, please support its continuation by becoming a paid subscriber at www.jennitooley.com or by sending direct support via Venmo (@jenni-tooley), PayPal, or Zelle (jennitooley@gmail.com). Every bit of support helps sustain this work while I recover and continue creating from inside the process.

Be w/Jenni Tooley wherever, whenever, and however she is by becoming a free or paid subscriber at www.jennitooley.com. You can also keep her in gas money and copays via venmo @jenni-tooley or paypal/zelle: jennitooley@gmail.com

I was invited to participate in the Lavender & Lore event again this year. It got me thinking about the last time I was there—right in the middle of radiation and chemo. I showed up exhausted, overheated, and not very clear about where I even was in my body.

And yet… something really beautiful came out of that day.

In this episode I’m reflecting on:

✨ what it was like showing up to Lavender & Lore last year in the middle of treatment✨ the unexpected gifts that came from it—including a dog park community that ended up helping me more than I ever expected✨ what I lost during cancer treatment (and what I’ve let stay lost)✨ what it means when an opportunity comes around again✨ preparing for events when your bowels might have other plans (yes, we’re going there again)✨ and why “my healing comes first” is still the compass I’m following

Sometimes the real abundance doesn’t show up the way we expect. Sometimes it comes sideways—through community, connection, or someone offering to walk your dog.

Love ya lots!Jenni

You can support the podcast as well as well as my livelihood by becoming a paid subscriber at www.jennitooley.com or making a donation via venmo@jenni-tooley

This is a story that I really don’t want to tell. But I keep hearing it in my head… and every time I tell it to someone close to me, they laugh. So here we go!

Welcome to Episode 2This episode is about my first surveillance CT scan after cancer treatment wearing a body that doesn’t have a rhythm yet. Two months out from an ileostomy closure and I still don’t know when I’m going to go to the bathroom, what it’s going to be like, or how long I’m going to be in there.

The CT scan required an hour drive while fasting, and an iodine contrast. Let’s just say, my body went bonkers resulting in two Walmart bathroom stops and so much time spent on the toilet that I realized that Walmart has its own radio station.

We also get into:

* the difference between worry, anxiety, and concern

* what it means to listen to your body (or not listen to your body)

* and how healing doesn’t always look the way you think it will

Sometimes survivorship looks like just trying to make it home and being kind to yourself when your body has other plans.

This s**t happens.Like… it literally happens.Lova ya!Jenni

No sponsors or a big machine behind this—just me. So, if you want to help keep the truth flowing, send a little digital love my way via venmo @jenni-tooley, zelle/paypal using jennitooley@gmail.com, or become a freaking awesome subscriber at www.jennitooley.com

This season is for anyone who has ever thought, “Shouldn’t I be better by now?” And for the people who love us, too. The ones who may not realize that the crisis can be over, but the recovery is still very much happening.

Welcome to Episode 1In this episode, I talk about what it means to have a complete response to cancer treatment and still be very much in recovery. My bloodwork looks good. My scans look good. The cancer is gone. And yet I am still dealing with bowel issues, fatigue, fear, and the very real question of how exactly I am supposed to function like a normal person when my body clearly did not get that memo.

I also talk about the support drop off that happens after treatment ends. During cancer, there is a team. There are specialists. There are grants. There is support. Then suddenly you are in survivorship, still dealing with the fallout, and a whole lot of people and systems seem to think you should be fine now.

I’m not sharing this to be dramatic. I’m sharing it because people need to understand this part. Just because we are cancer-free does not mean we are back to normal.

Here’s the quick lowdown:

* what a complete response actually means after rectal cancer treatment

* life after chemo, radiation, surgery, ileostomy, and ileostomy reversal

* the reality of bowel dysfunction and urgency in post-treatment recovery

* what happened when I literally could not trust my body in public

* why survivorship after cancer can still be physically and emotionally hard

* the gap between looking well and actually being well

* Social Security disability and the impossible logic of proving you are not fully functional

* why recovery needs a new support team, even after treatment ends

Love you lots,Jenni

Keep the poop talk coming and the candid truth about living with cancer in the open by supporting me via Venmo @jenni-tooley, via paypal/zelle using jennitooley@gmail.com or becoming a subscriber here at www.jennitooley.com

Hello, hello:)

I just wanted to take a moment here —just a little pocket of quiet time.

I know you’re rushing to get to the next thing,and yes, I am absolutely impeding your progress.I’m not going to apologize for that.

Instead, I’m inviting you to just sit here with me.For a couple of minutes.

No guided relaxation.No meditation.We’re not going to do anything.We’re just going to hang.

Getting itchy yet?Yeah… I get that.It’s hard to sit still sometimes —especially when the world feels like it’s going crazyand Apple keeps changing the iOS on my phone.

So many things to figure out.So many problems to solve.Mine. Yours. The world’s.

…But maybe I don’t have to.Maybe you don’t have to either.

What if — just for now —we didn’t fix a single thing?What if we just sat here and took three breaths?

(pause for breath)

Wow.You have no idea how many times I wanted to break that silence.But I didn’t.

Were you breathing too?I’m glad I stayed quiet —because now, I actually feel different.

The mechanics of that are real —it’s the nervous system,the stress response,the breath.

I hear things differently now.I see things differently.I’m here.

So —come back to this anytime you want.Sit with me. Hang with me.Maybe even make a habit out of it.

See what happens.Do a little experiment.

Know that you are loved.And until we breathe again…

Just be.

w/Jenni Tooley is a joy-supported venture. Share a smile. Become a member at www.jennitooley.com Or feed the geese via Venmo @jenni-tooley

If ya like it and want more, comment, subscribe, and/or send a little ❤️ via Venmo @jenni-tooley or zelle:jennitooley@gmail.com

Www.jennitooley.com

Where I went with the spinnies:🧘‍♀️ How I figured out how to “do nothing”💀 The exhaustion that lingers long after survival mode ends🐾 Lessons in rest from my animal companions🎬 Double-feature therapy: how movie marathons became my church💗 The rebellion of aligning with natural rhythms when the world’s still sprinting

What got unwound: Sometimes I confuse exhaustion with achievement, but burnout doesn’t hand out trophies.

What you might try: Maybe — after you take a listen— just… rest. Close your eyes. Breathe. Don’t even try to meditate. Just be.

Would love to hear what landed!If you aren’t already there, you can find us at www.jennitooley.comTip jar lives here.Or you can become a paid subscriber to keep the spinnies in motion at on my website!

Until next time!Jenni

Yipee Skipee Noodle Doodles! The print version of Better Homes & Boundaries: All Together Now is here! Let’s take a first peek together and I’ll tell you more about what’s in it and how MrJames and I made it!

I ordered 10 total- 7 are accounted for, 3 are left. If you want one signed, sealed and delivered for $25 grab it now. I’m going to the post office tomorrow!You can also order a direct print copy here.

✨ Holiday Yum-Yum Giveaway! ✨

To celebrate my episode with Carolyn Haeler, founder of Mightylicious Gluten-Free, I’ve rounded up some of my favorites and am giving away a cozy holiday bundle!Three bags of Mightylicious gluten-free cookiesA signed copy of Better Homes & Boundaries: All Together NowA bag of nuJava ground Guatemala Coffee from our friends at Just Bee Coffee BarMrJames Workshop exclusive Eureka Billies sticker(Estimated value: $70+)

HOW TO ENTER (up to 2 entries):Current Substackers Comment on this post → 2 entriesPeople who found us from Social- thanks for stopping by!Follow + comment on IG→ 1 entrySubscribe to this Substack → +1 entry

Include a “heck yeah!” in your comment below and I will send you 20% off codes for Mightylicious cookies, nuJava Coffee, and select Mr. James Workshop goodies. Doors close on Dec 9. Winner announced Wednesday, Dec 10.

Now on to the interview!

Today we’re talking with Carolyn Haeler, founder and CEO of Mightylicious Gluten-Free. I hope you’re settling in with something warm and comforting, because this episode is all about comfort… in the form of cookies. Yes. COOKIES. And not just any cookies—gluten-free, vegan-friendly, actually delicious cookies that won’t crumble into sad, sandy disappointment the minute you look at them.

In This Episode We Talk About:

🍪 A celiac diagnosis that changed everything for Carolyn🍪 The grief, chaos, and logistics of becoming gluten-free overnight🍪 Why a terrible $10 gf cookie in a checkout line changed her entire life🍪 How Carolyn tamed the wild chemistry of gluten-free & vegan baking🍪 How she built an entire national brand from her tiny New York kitchen🍪 The emotional side of food and why everyone should have a chance to enjoy it🍪 Holiday eating, boundaries, and making space for your needs🍪 Actual, real-life gluten-free baking tips from Carolyn herself 🍪 What community and partnerships look like to a very busy woman/mom/CEO

About Our Guest

Carolyn Haeler is the founder and CEO of Mightylicious, a gluten-free and vegan-friendly cookie and baking brand that has completely changed the texture game. She’s part chemist, part entrepreneur, part food whisperer—and fully committed to creating celebratory foods that everyone can enjoy.

Find Mightylicious online at: mightylicious.com(And if you try the brownie mix… report back. I need witnesses.)

Thank You for Being Here

This episode is full of heart, honesty, body talk, holiday talk, vulnerability, cookies, chaos… basically everything I love.

If it resonated, please share it with someone who needs a little sweetness today.

And if you want more episodes like this—and more zines, stories, and soulful fun—make sure you’re subscribed to Jenni Tooley Presents at www.jennitooley.com You can also drop a cookie or two in the cookie jar via venmo @jenni-tooley

In this episode, there’s going to be some kitty meowing, alot of dog barking, and, because I can’t escape it, …poop talk.

I’ve had a complete response from stage 3aN1rectal cancer. I’ve endured chemo, radiation, surgery, and I’m on the other side of treatment. Just because I’m “done” doesn’t mean I’m not still living with the physical, mental and emotional repercussions.

Even though Social Security, my medical team, and the rest of the world assume I’m fine now, my reality is messier than that.

Today I’m digging into:

* Navigating post-treatment life and what “complete response” really looks like day-to-day.

* The brutal mismatch between cultural expectations and actual recovery.

* The joys and humiliation of digestive chaos when your rectum is smaller than a water balloon.

* How I’m starting to build my “R Team (recovery team) to support my physical, emotional, and spiritual healing.

* Social Security disability denials, forms, and the sheer exhaustion of advocating for yourself when everyone assumes you’re “better.”

This is a deeply honest look at survivorship: when the cancer is gone, but life isn’t magically easy.

It’s for anyone in recovery, anyone supporting someone in recovery, and anyone who’s ever been told “you’re fine now” and felt… not fine at all.

Keep the poop talk coming and the candid truth about living with cancer in the open by supporting me via Venmo @jenni-tooley or becoming a subscriber at www.jennitooley.com

Well… it happened again. The plan zigged, the muse zagged, and Better Homes & Boundaries decided it wanted to be one big, beautiful, 34-page, full-color limited edition—fresh off the press and delivered straight to your door via Lulu.

So here it is! All Together Now! You’ve scrubbed the floors, untangled the lights, and maybe even made peace with Auntie M’s stuffing recipe. But before the season sweeps you up again, take a deep breath and make this one for you.

All Together Now gathers all three volumes of the Better Homes & Boundaries holiday zine series into one cozy, punk-in-pink collection. Part survival guide, part sacred reminder, it’s an invitation to create peace, play, and permission right in the middle of the holiday madness.

The Collection includes:

* Vol. 1: Prepping Your Heart for the Holidays — gentle grounding before the rush

* Vol. 2: Because Peace Looks Good on You — reclaim calm and joy (even in chaos)

* Vol. 3: Self-Care in the Chaos — reminders to rest, breathe, and stay soft through it all

Each Volume includes:

-Reflections and rituals for grounding through the holidays- “Permission slips” to rest, reset, and redefine what celebration means- Tools for protecting your energy (and your joy)- Playful prompts and journal spaces for your own messy magic

Whether you’re navigating complicated family gatherings, reclaiming old traditions, or just trying to remember to exhale between “yes” and “no,” this zine-book is your companion for a softer, saner season.Order direct from Lulu!

It’s hand-crafted honesty for the holidays — and a reminder that peace still looks damn good on you.

Hi darlin! It’s raining outside. My hair’s a mess. The dog’s eating a walnut. I’m stirring something that’s kind of risotto—because if it were real risotto, I wouldn’t be able to talk to you right now.

I’m sharing this because I know how hard it can be to feed yourself when life gets turned upside down—after surgery, after loss, after a long day. Cooking used to be second nature for me. But since my rectal cancer diagnosis and surgeries, it’s been a process of figuring out what I can eat, what my body can handle, and how to make it all work in this tiny kitchen.

No filters. No food stylists. Just me, my dog, and some damn good risotto.

Green Chef has been one of the small helpers in that process. The meals are simple, nourishing, and actually taste good. They’ve helped me rebuild my relationship with food—one pot, one meal, one messy countertop at a time.

I’m not here to convince you to buy anything. I’m sharing what’s worked for me in case you need a little support too.

If you want to try it, here’s a link—you’ll get a free box (just pay shipping), and I’ll get a credit toward my next meals. That helps me keep experimenting and sharing what’s real from this little pink-punk kitchen of mine.

Perfect for anyone rebuilding their relationship with food, recovering from something big, or just trying to survive the holidays without living on cheese cubes and wine.

Until next time…Love ya lots!JenniNot interested in Green Chef, but want to feed Jenni? Pop some lunch money in her pocket via venmo @jenni-tooley or zelle/paypal jennitooley@gmail.com.

Hi darlin! I am breaking out the chocolate ice cream as we speak!!! I know I said we’d do a livestream, but I gotta tell you just getting the “studio” set up for this one took it out of me, so I decided to record it instead. That way I wouldn’t have to add troubleshooting a livestream to my day:)This takes us to the value of acceptance and the beauty of the pivot.

Both can make life a lot easier and fun- and are of great use in stressful situations like The Holidays (place echo sound effect here).

Enjoy my first “not-so-live” stream since pandemic times. Me, my dog, my fish tanks, and a camera that almost didn’t survive the setup. If you’ve been wrestling with perfection or wondering how to stay sane (and maybe even joyful) through the holiday swirl, pull up a chair.

Inside this cozy chaos:

* The legend of the six-fingered cover goddess—and why I kept her that way.

* A few deep breaths, a little laughter, and some truth about good enough being sacred.

* A peek inside the Better Homes & Boundaries: Holiday Edition zine—including your official Permission Not to Engage permission slip.

* Real talk about energy, imperfection, and finding joy when the world says “more, more, more.”

This isn’t Martha Stewart. This is midlife, magic, and the moments no one posts about.So, grab your tea or cacao, take three breaths with me, and remember—you’re loved. Exactly as you are.

Now I must keep the dog from eating whatever it is I tossed on the floor when I cleared my desk to make room for the Studio:)Love you!Jenni

P.S. Don’t forget — preorders for the Better Homes & Boundaries 3-Zine Bundle are still open! Once we hit 10 orders, it all goes to print (and into your hands before Thanksgiving). Choose your own price — minimum $49 — and be part of this perfectly imperfect little experiment.

Not into the printed bundle but want a digital version? Become a Studio Member. Or if you’d like to share in the celebration, you can buy me an ice cream via venmo @jenni-tooley

Welcome back to The Cancer Chronicles, where nothing’s off-limits—not even poop talk (you knew it was coming).

This episode is part confessional, part comedy of errors, and part love letter to the human body.

Support the cast with a donation via Venmo @jenni-tooley or by becoming a subscriber!

In this episode, I share what it’s really like to go in for a post-cancer surveillance scan—physically, emotionally, and yes, gastrointestinally. From a surprise iodine flush to two emergency stops at Walmart, it’s a story about healing, humility, and how even our bowels have something to teach us about surrender.

You’ll also hear me unpack the difference between worry, anxiety, and concern—and why understanding those nuances has been one of the biggest lessons in my recovery. (Spoiler: the grown-up me expresses concern, the little girl me freaks out.)

We’ll end with a gentle nudge toward kindness—especially for the parts of you that are still healing, still tired, or still learning to trust that you’re okay.

Mentions & Moments:

* First clear CT scan (🎉 cancer-free and on surveillance!)

* The joy of clean Walmart bathrooms and anonymous humanity

* The weird comfort of the Walmart radio station

* Talking to my therapist about intestinal compassion

* What it means to let the “adult you” take the wheel when anxiety hits

Takeaway:Be kind—to your intestines, to your mind, and to the messy, miraculous body that’s still doing its best. Healing isn’t tidy. But it can still be holy (and even a little bit funny).

🎧 Listen wherever you get your podcasts, or visit JenniTooley.com for more.

In this episode I share a little behind-the-scenes peek at my own holiday history. I dip into how the evolution of my family traditions made me realize I needed to start doing things differently. Like, way differently.

We’ll talk about:💫 How my “perfect holidays” started falling apart 💫 What 12 years of Al-Anon taught me about the holiday season💫 The real reason I used to get sick every year around this time💫 And how all of this inspired my newest creation: Better Homes and Boundaries: Holiday Edition- a three-part zine series and live workshop where I share spiritual principles and the tools that have made my life alot more livable.

If the thought of juggling expectations, family drama, or just too many cookie exchanges already makes you tired… this episode is for you.

🪩 Mentioned in this episode:

* Better Homes and Boundaries: Holiday Edition — the first in my 3-part holiday zine series

* Better Homes and Boundaries: Holiday Edition LIVE — a 45-minute guided workshop to help you visualize, reset, and reclaim your holidays

💌 Find everything at jennitooley.com

Support the podcast by becoming a paid subscriber or donating via venmo @jenni-tooley

We’re talking about the Lavender & Lore event I did last year while in the middle of radiation + chemo, and how I’m approaching it differently this year.

Here’s what we cover:

✨ Last year’s Lavender & Lore—showing up exhausted, hot, and halfway through treatment.✨ The unexpected blessings: a new dog park community, support I didn’t even know I needed, and lavender treats.✨ What I lost during cancer treatment (and what I’ve let stay lost).✨ Saying yes when opportunities knock twice.✨ Preparing for events when your bowels might have other plans (yep, we’re going there)(again). ✨ Why “My Healing Comes First” is still my north star.✨ Feeling into where I am now—cancer-free, clearer, and grateful.

This episode is less about selling books and more about showing up as I am. Because sometimes the real abundance comes in sideways—through community, connection, or someone offering to walk your dog.

💜 Come hang out in my world:

* JenniTooley.com → Your doorway to the Sanctuary (free) & the Studio (paid).

* Upcoming: my Better Homes & Boundaries Holiday Edition zine+workshop for unplanning the holidays and making them your own.

✨ If something in this episode resonated, I’d love to hear from you. Drop a comment on my site or just send me a little note.

*You can support the podcast as well as well as my livelihood by becoming a paid subscriber or making a donation via @jenni-tooley

If it helps you can sing it to the tune of George Michael’s “Let’s Talk About Sex”.

Hey friends, it’s me, Jenni. Yep—you read that title right. This week I’m diving straight into the glamorous, unpredictable, and oh-so-humbling world of post-cancer poop. (You’ve been warned!)

In this episode, I talk candidly about what life looks like after rectal cancer treatment, rectal resection, and ileostomy reversal. From prune juice and sourdough toast to Imodium and the hilariously bland “rectal resurgence diet,” I’m sharing the real deal about what’s happening in my body, my kitchen, and yes… my bathroom.

But this isn’t just about bowels. We also get into the deeper stuff like healing at your own pace, the sneaky ways stress shows up in the gut, recognizing trauma in the aftermath of treatment, and why giving my energy to healing (instead of outside pressures) is non-negotiable.

If you’ve ever wondered what recovery actually looks like day-to-day—or if you just want permission to laugh, sigh, or nod along while I overshare from the toilet—this one’s for you.

In this episode:

* My week of poop roulette: constipation, diarrhea, repeat

* The “rectal resurgence diet” (aka the blandest foods known to humankind)

* Why healing is a full-time job

* Recognizing the trauma of treatment (and what that does to the nervous system)

* Honoring energy, boundaries, and slow healing—on my own terms

Until next time—take three deep breaths, pet your pets, and may your bowels be kind to you.

Love ya lots! Jenni

I share about sitting in the hospital surrounded by both birth and death. How I walked the hall between the NICU and labor & delivery while patients near me were in hospice. How I was celebrating as much as I could that I was coming to the end of my journey with rectal cancer while my friends mourned the death of someone whose rectal cancer journey had also come to an end. I also reflect on the death of my film dream, the shifts cancer forced into every part of my life, and even how I’ve experienced “wanting to die” in the sense of wanting a life I was living to end.

What I’ve come to believe is that every ending is a doorway into something else. Each transition—whether it’s losing health, identity, plans, pets, or people—is a kind of death that eventually leads to a new life.

So, if you’re in the middle of one of those big transitions, know this: you are loved, always. You’re going to make it through. And while it may not feel good all the time, you can still find moments of joy, even peace, in the middle of it all.

Lotsa love, Jenni

Transcript and captions available and beautifully imperfect! Episodes I mentioned in this episode- all except the poop ones, there are too many to list:)

I’m still recovering from my ileostomy closure- my bowels are very opinionated about the whole thing. I’m glad to be alive and exhausted at the same time so I’m going to keep this short.

Here’s what I talk about in this episode.

* What it’s really like when your bowels have to relearn how to work after ileostomy closure surgery

* The second hospital stay hit harder than expected

* The daily drama of dripping mini-splits and dog diarrhea felt like mountains I had to climb

* Remembering that “fear” is just Future Events Appearing Real

* Getting my priorities straight: 1. wound healing, 2. Bowels working, 3. I’m not even close to #3 yet:)

* Tools I use to consistently bring myself back to the present moment

* The Cancer Chronicles Sanctuary project—soon to be simplified and made doable by a chick who has very little “do” in her

We close with sharing gratitude—because no matter how rough the day, I can still find three things to be thankful for. Here are my three for today:

* I’m grateful I could pay the vet bill.

* I’m grateful my dog only has colitis.

* And I’m grateful for the birds singing as I sit outside.

Please share your three in the comments!

And as always: I’m grateful you’re here. Until next time—love you lots!

Links & Love

* JenniTooley.com — find my Substack, writings, and ways to support (free or paid subscribers welcome!)

* Share this episode with someone who needs a reminder that recovery is messy, human, and worth it.

* Cheer us on and help spread the love* Donate to the GoFundMe or via Venmo @Jenni-Tooley* Share this post* Become a free or paid subscriber at JenniTooley.com

Together, we can make cancer a little less sucky.Love ya!Jenni:

This episode is part truth-telling, part vent, and 100% real-life cancer recovery. I recorded it outside in the dark—cats meowing, frogs singing- hoping my bowels didn’t pick that moment to reve up again.

Because yes, there's a lot of pooping over here

But this episode isn’t focused on that.

This one is about what it’s like to go through a full year of cancer treatment—chemo, radiation, surgery (times two)—and still be expected to prove to a broken system that you're "sick enough."

That your healing isn't linear.

That your mental health matters.

That your body needs time, and so does your nervous system.

And that you deserve to access the benefits you’ve already earned.

I talk about:

* How I finally got real on my disability forms (diarrhea and all)

* The toll this year has taken on my body, mind, and spirit

* PTSD, anxiety, and the invisible layers of healing

* Why I keep showing up for this process even though I want to unhook from it completely

* And how abundance and love—real abundance and love—exist beyond these systems

This is a gentle reminder (for me, and maybe for you too): Just because the system is broken doesn’t mean you are.

✨And if you’re in the middle of your own fight—whether it’s with paperwork, poop, or the weight of it all—you’re not alone.

I see you. I feel you.And I’m rooting for you.

With love and cat kisses,Jenni 💗

Www.jennitooley.com

Community keeps this space alive I’m committed to keeping The Cancer Chronicles and everything at Jenni Tooley Presents accessible and free of paywalls.

If this episode moved you, helped you, or made you feel less alone—please consider:

💸 Sending a tip or donation

* Venmo: @Jenni-Tooley

* Zelle: jennitooley@gmail.com

* PayPal: paypal.me/jennitooley

💖 Become a paid subscriberYour monthly support on Substack helps me keep creating, healing out loud, and offering this sanctuary to others.

We rise together. Thank you for helping me keep this space honest, raw, joyful—and truly supported.

Once again thank you to ChatGPT for making these show notes. I would not have been able to do this without that tool.

I’m tired so take a listen and know that you are loved.

Venmo: @jenni-tooley PayPal/zelle: jennitooley@gmail.com

Episode Summary:

Welcome back to The Cancer Chronicles. It’s Day Five post-surgery, and I’m still here in the hospital, riding the slow-motion rollercoaster of recovery. In this episode, I share the real, raw, and surprisingly hilarious journey of waiting for my body to… well… poop. (Spoiler: it’s a whole thing.)

We talk about NG tubes (hard pass), reverse ileostomies, passing leftover barium (yes, still), and how surviving doesn’t always mean thriving—but sometimes that’s okay. I reflect on the wisdom from a friend and veteran combat medic: “You will survive all the situations.” I walk you through how what he said is helping me find perspective, even in the weirdest, most uncomfortable moments.

Also: a life metaphor involving pomegranates. Yes, I said pomegranates. Blame the meds.

This episode is equal parts hospital-room confessional and late-night love letter to anyone who's in the thick of it—whether you're healing, helping someone who is, or just navigating the hard parts of being alive.

Wherever you are, however you’re doing: you’re not alone. And you are loved.

What You'll Hear:

* 🎯 Why I’m still in the hospital after ileostomy reversal

* 🥄 My journey from IVs to a fully loaded baked potato

* 💩 Poop talk (because that’s healing too!)

* 🧠 “You will survive all the situations” — and why that simple phrase shifted everything

* 💕 What love feels like when you're lying in a hospital bed

* 🌊 How I visualize love as an infinite river

* 🍷 Life as a pomegranate (yep—this makes total sense in context)

Mentioned in This Episode:

* The Barium Enema episode — listen if you dare. Or just… take my word for it.

* My friend Chris, a combat medic whose words snapped me back into perspective.

* My dad, who reminded me that sometimes intestines need a nap too.

Support + Connect:

💗 Find all things Jenni (podcast, zines, updates) at👉 www.jennitooley.com📣 Subscribe to The Cancer Chronicles Support Hub and be part of this living, breathing sanctuary.

Closing note:If you’re in a situation (or five), I hope this reminds you that you’re not broken. You’re not alone. You are surviving—and that, my love, is a damn beautiful thing.

💌 Until next time,Jenni

This time, I’m taking you deep into the underworld. Not metaphorically—literally. We’re talking about my barium enema. Yep, I said it. And I lived to tell the tale.

In this episode, I share:

* Why a tube full of white chalky liquid got shoved where the sun don’t shine

* What happened before, during, and after (spoiler alert: pink barium is a thing)

* How my nervous system went into full-blown freeze mode

* Why chanting “Om Namah Shivaya” while clenching your butt is a next-level spiritual practice

* And how farting—yes, farting—has become my new favorite miracle

But more than that, I talk about what it means to hold onto your truth when the medical world—and sometimes even your own body—tells you you're "fine" when you're clearly not.

This is a raw one. It's also a reclaiming of voice, body, and breath. And if you’ve ever felt like you should be okay but weren’t, this one’s for you.

So pour a cup of something warm, find a soft place to land, and let’s get real about trauma, resilience, and why I’m never doing that again unless someone knocks me out first.

🪷 Mentioned in this episode:

* Mildred B.B. Puckrup (my beloved stoma)

* The Frankenstein Table of Doom

* Why we should ALL celebrate our farts

* A gentle reminder: “I stand for myself without standing against others.”

💌 Want more sacred stories with a wink and a wobble?Subscribe over at JenniTooley.com and join our sanctuary for soulful transformation (but it’s also fun—I can find humor in almost everything).

Help keep jenni tooley presents accessible to all and sustainable for us. If you have the capacity to make a financial contribution, please become a paid subscriber at www.jennitooley.com or send some digital love via Venmo: @jenni-tooley

Once again, keeping it simple. Here’s the breakdown. Listening is better because what I say between the bullet points is pure magic:)

* Stoma and ostomy success- let’s celebrate!

* Why I’m excited about having barium squirted up my butt

* Using the 3A’s to go from surgery PTSD to feeling good about it

* How deep listening and emotion code work healed a surgery trauma

* A few of the “other things” I used to kick cancer out of my butt including energy work, lymphatic massage, emotion code work, affirmations, and ancestral healing

* When a staple coming out of your butt is a good thing

* I’m not surprised I’m tumor-free but they are

* Making the decision that “this is how it is going to go”

As always, there is a transcript available- it’s a mess, but it’s there:)

Lotsa love, JenniThe barium enema that I have tomorrow will decide if I can move into the final phase of cancer treatment!

Want to take me out for a post-barium-enema-virtual lunch followed by an ice cream treat? Upgrade to a paid membership at www.jennitooley.com or become a founding member today! Or fill up the icecream piggy bank via venmo: @jenni-tooley or zelle: jennitooley@gmail.com

I promise, I’ll send pictures! (Not of the enema part, unless you’re into that:)

Welcome, once again, to our multi-faceted series: “in the heartlight”. Today we are finishing up (for now) our series of interviews with Mr. James of MrJames Workshop (aka Dalton) with a discussion about his video creation: “Creation”.

I’m going to keep this one simple. Let’s let the work and the spoken words speak for themselves🥰 I suggest you watch the video before listening to our conversation and then revisit it as we talk our way through it. (There is also a transcript- it’s a mess but you can check it out if needed!)

I hope you’ve been enjoying getting to better know him and the worlds he creates as much as I have, Jenni

Share the love by becoming a free or paid subscriber! If already a subscriber, you can manage your subscription by clinking on the “subscribed!” button below. You can also make a donation via venmo: jenni-tooley or zelle: jennitooley@gmail.com

If you missed the previous two interviews you can find them here:

This episode is not for the faint of heart. But nothing cancer or ileostomy related is, so pull out your vinyl Queen “Hot Space” album and sing along.

(Yes. Under Pressure” is on a Queen album, not a David Bowie album. Who knew?)

And if you want more raw, unedited, real accounts of what my experience has been like kicking cancer out of my butt, become a paid member of Jenni Tooley Presents. Or donate to the production fund via Venmo: @jenni-tooley or zelle/paypal: jennitooley@gmail.com

PS: This episode ends abruptly. I start talking about surgery PTSD. The dog starts barking. And “blam!” It’s over. I hope that didn’t trigger any PTSD for you- if it did, never fear, I will follow up on part 2. Imperfection rocks!

Jenni Tooley here. Reminding you that no matter what, life is goingto happen. If you're getting to the end of your rope, I am right there with you.

The good thing is, is that this too shall pass.Good, bad, or indifferent.This too shall pass.We are resilient.We are loved.And we have all kinds of support around us.It's just a matter of asking and receiving.Sometimes you don't even have to ask.Sometimes it just comes to you.Know that you are loved.

Join me for this episode of Cancer Chronicles as I sit in my car on the way to my post-surgical follow-up and chat about:

* Dealing with the frustration of making mistakes

* The anxiety of travelling with an ileostomy, knowing I’m about to run out of supplies

* Being patient with myself and grieving during transitions (nope it’s just part of the deal)

* This isn’t working, I must be doing something wrong

* Adaptation disorder

* Disability denials and the relief of bringing in the lawyers

* Eating with an ileostomy: bags under my eyes and 15 pounds lighter

* Finding the fun and beauty in things even when I’m tired and feel like s***

My goal is to share my experience, strength, and hope with others, helping them to find peace amidst chaos and to know that they are not alone. Support this goal and my no-paywall mission by becoming a paid subscriber or donating to the production fund via venmo: @jenni-tooley or zelle: jennitooley@gmail.com

Once again- massive gratitude to all who have been on part or all of this journey with me!I have been up to my elbows in s**t, literally, for the last few weeks because I’ve been having trouble adjusting to my stoma, Mildred (that’s Mildred B.B. Puckrup to you;). I’m allergic to adhesives so that already creates a challenge. And I can’t get a good seal around her, which means that stomach acids are sitting on my skin, eating away at it under the ostomy bag. After scouring dozens of Reddits and YouTube videos, I may have come up with the right combination of products and protocols that will allow the skin around the stoma to heal. Fingers crossed.

This episode was recorded about ten days after I returned home from the hospital. What you can expect in the roundabout ramblings from a rectal resection post-op patient:

* living with an ileostomy

* I remembered I had a belly button

* Angry skin

* Youtubers are awesome

* Detailed explanation of an ileostomy, stoma

* Keeping things simple amplifies abundance

* Using my intuition to find ways for a diverse range of people to support me in the easiest and most fun way possible

* Being brave and going with my “crazy idea” of graphically representing my stoma and creating a wish list for “our arrival home”

* Allowing myself to receive and convincing my nervous system that it is safe to receive

And a whole lotta love.

Transcript is available- my AI still hasn’t learned to spell my name correctly but none of us is perfect, are we?Jenni

I’ve made it my mission to share my journey honestly so that others may benefit from my experience, strength, and hope. Support the mission. Subscribe here or donate to the production fund via venmo: @jenni-tooley

First things first. I am deeply grateful for all of the support. I want to list each of you by name, but my brain will inevitably leave someone out. So…Thank you so much to those who participated in the chat while I was in the hospital:)Thank you to everyone who sent things from the wish list.Thank you to those who have shown up at my house to help.Thank you to those who are caring for my animal companions.Thank you to those who have venmo’d, zelle’d or handed me complimentary yums.Thank you to those who have emailed or commented on posts.Thank you to those who have prayed and sent good thoughts.Thank you.Thank you.Thank you.Now on to the episode!

This episode was recorded on my second or third night at the hospital after my LAR- rectal resection with an ileostomy loop. It’s very raw and goes into details about the surgery, after-effects of surgery, learning how to use an ostomy bag, and the anxiety of going home. I don’t even remember what I said, but I knew that it needed to be recorded. I am not including show notes here. It’s short- have a listen or check out the transcript. *For some reason, my transcript AI cannot figure out how to spell my name, and I don’t have the oomph to correct it.

Love gifts are still welcome- and will be for quite some time. So keep on sending them along if you are inspired:)venmo: jenni-tooleyZelle: jennitooley@gmail.com

You are loved!Jenni

Hello! Hello!I’m here! I’m alive! Robots are going to chop up my rectum in 7 days! Please send love, send sanity, send whatever you like! (venmo: @jenni-tooley zelle: jennitooley@gmail.com)

Thank you so much to Brian and Steven for sending some love$, to Vicki & Melvin for animal help, to Dalton for puzzle hours, Belen for bevvies, and my mom and dad, just cuz:)

Reminder: Transcript available:)As you know, my goal is to keep these podcast posts manageable and as simple as possible, so here we go!

Rectal surgery in 7 days? What’s a girl to do? Get her s**t together- and avoid everyone else’s!

Getting s**t together deets:

* navigate disability denials, talk to lawyers, fill out paper work, fill out more paperwork, write and notarize your will, advance directive, and power of attorney, get lab test, figure out how to communicate with friends and family during surgery and hospital stays, get stuck with some more needles, eat everything I can get my hands on that I won’t be able to eat for awhile, more paperwork, go to the pharmacy, restock the kitchen with low fiber high protein bland food, find an outlet that has good pudding, try to get ahold of nurses who should have already called you to share information with you, fill out some more paperwork, set up Google Calendars, attempt to avoid governmental systemic thinking that is confusing and really wants to reward you not for healing and positivity but negativity and victimhood.

Whew! Was that simple enough for you?

Thank god I’ve spent my life learning how to thrive in chaos.

More to come…love you!Jenni

Help feed the rectal robots. Become a paid subscriber:)

Here we are with exciting news for Cancer Chronicles, S4 Ep2. I’m cancer-free! Whoop whoop! Get out your pom-poms! Cue the Sousa marching band! Pop open a…wait, what’s that you say? I still have to get surgery?Grrrr. Argh.

This is one of those moments where I must pause and celebrate this milestone* even if the journey must go on.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I appreciate and love each and every person, place, and thing that has gotten me here today!

Now, let’s talk about the rest of it. You can listen to the episode or read the transcript at www.jennitooley.com if you’re not already there:)

Here’s this episode’s breakdown:

* I thought if we shrunk the tumor down to nothing, we would be done. I was wrong.

* The reason why I’m choosing to have rectal resection surgery even though I don’t want to.

* Colon lips: To poop or not to poop.

* How “Bless it or block it” helps me make decisions and keeps me moving in the “right” direction.

* We’re coming up on a year now since diagnosis. Surgeries will take another 4 months or so.

* Staying present, healthy, and as joyful as possible while acknowledging I’m tired.

I’m on the two-week countdown to surgery. Support via prayers, good wishes, flowers, live plants, gift cards, massive amounts of dark chocolate, and cold hard digital cash via Venmo (@jenni-tooley) and Zelle (jennitooley@gmail.com) is appreciated.

That’s all for now! You are loved- never doubt it.Jenni

You have the power to keep this podcast alive and free to all who need it by sharing with friends and becoming a paid subscriber or founding member:)

*You can reference my Chaos Management Series post about the Science of Celebration here.

Thank you so much to those who supported Season 3 of The Cancer Chronicles podcast! It’s been nearly a year since I was diagnosed with Stage 3aN1 Rectal cancer- can you believe it? At that time, I decided I was going to produce the s**t out of cancer (get it…I’ve got rectal cancer;). So not only did I project manage my healthcare and life, but I turned this whole mess into an unexpected new season of the podcast. I called it: Confessions: “The Cancer Chronicles” (cue the loud echoey music).

I started talking to my phone on May 28, 2024- and then kept talking to it whenever the mood struck. With your support and our fabulous podcast manager, Phillipa, we produced 16 episodes that followed my journey from diagnosis through the first 8 months of treatment. It was raw vulnerability at its best- the ups, the downs, how I found peace in the midst of chaos, and some good old rectal humor.

Sharing my story and how I am finding peace in the midst of chaos has not only been cathartic for me but has served other cancer thrivers, caregivers, and friends.

There’s so much cancer out there right now. “The Big C” strikes fear and silence into most- so let’s keep talking about it. It’s part of life. It sucks- but it doesn’t have to suck if we all stick together and find the joy in the gift it brings. That gift is presence.

And the show goes on. Cancer is still a pain in my rectum, so I’ll keep talking about it.

Head’s up: The format is going to get even less formal (and possibly more fun?) because I’m all fundraised out, and all the fabulous bells and whistles like the cleverly and concisely written show notes, clean recordings, consistent scheduling, etc. were all the work of our podcast manager, Phillipa, who I cannot afford to pay right now.

What can you do?

Come be present with me and take a small action today that could change your life- or someone else’s. Listen to the podcast. Share it with your people. Donate to the production fund. Take out a paid subscription to this substack. Whatever helps you connect.

I know you’re rooting for me- just like I’m rooting for you! So let’s get on with it!Love ya lots!Jenni

Welcome to Season 4 Ep1!

No show notes today- here’s a quick lowdown:-This episode was recorded on Feb 25, 2025, four weeks out from my last day of 8 months of chemo.-Chemo side effects continue…huh, wha?-Selfcare regimen to the rescue- thanks to all who contributed!-Life continues regardless- for everyone. Daily tasks keep coming. People and help come and go too.-Cancer treatment is a long journey.-The PAW grant that helped me with puppy and kitty food-The universe will take care of you no matter what-Expect a miracle. It may not look like what you think it’s going to look like, but it’s still going to show up:)

Jenni Tooley Presents is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Here we go!

The Billies- 10 years in the making (Timecode 31:31)

Billy started out as a literal doodle. I was in New York and I was in Brooklyn at jury duty. It was the most awful boring thing I could imagine, so I just started sketching this little face and I just kept drawing and drawing it. I showed it to Brian and he thought it was funny and kept encouraging me to do it.

And then I worked on it for, I'd say 10-12 years just trying to find this little weird little face.

Can you image working on something for ten years? …now that I think about it, it took me 20 to make my feature film, STUCK, so maybe I can! That’s a testament to what some long term one-day-at-a-time thinking can produce in your life:)

”They all represent everyone in my mythology.Once I developed the original Billy, Billy B, he felt so lonely.I wanted to make him a family so, I did.…the naming convention, I wanted to pull from my roots in Texas…”

You can bring a Billy home, just head on over to www.mrjamesworkshop.com and purchase online. Dalton also takes commissions!

”THE ARCHETYPES” (38:04 Timecode)

Feeling alone because you can’t find yourself in the mythologies that guide how we fit into culture? Follow Dalton’s lead and build your own!

It's what we were talking about earlier about trying to find yourself in the world.For the longest time, I just gave up trying to find the story that seems so familiar that I could...I don't know… a path that I could follow or a direction that I go like, “oh, I can just go do this, because it's already there.

I've tried to do that so many times and it never worked.And so I was like, “well, I guess I'll just make my own.”

“I started with the hero because, I mean, you have to be the hero of your own story, right?”The hero is the creator that's how he becomes the hero. He finds that notion of everything you ever needed is right there inside and it contains everything. You already know everything you need to know.

In this section we also cover:

* Jenni’s having died multiple times over her lifetime

* Keep the faith, you’re on a spirit quest

* The Queen of Sleep and Melancholia (“This one character who disguises themselves to look like all the other archetypes. So that the voices that you hear from her sound like other archetypes telling you it's never going to work out.”)

* Core Beliefs, The 3A’s, and how Jenni deals with her “taskmaster”

* How two very different people with very different experiences can be on parallel paths and so much more!

The Two Daltons (60:08 Time Code)

I asked Dalton to send me his bio pic- I was surprised at what I received- so I straight up asked about why he sent me a photo of “mean Dalton”.

I think that over time- and it's something that I've realized about myself-is that I created this external…styling…as a protective mechanism, so I don't get messed with.You know, the things that run in through your head that you have to protect yourself from. I mean, I live in downtown LA and it's super f*****g scary down here.

I just wear that all the time.It's kind of a default, I guess. I don’t know if that’s good or bad. It’s just…that’s the picture.

That we live in a world where this beautiful human has to hide his natural proclivity for joy, creativity, and love saddens me. How about you?

“I would not have been able to create work of this level if it wasn't for the love I share with my husband. He has given me room, patience, and support to grow in directions that I never could have imagined.”

Dalton asked that we celebrate his influences: Charles Schulz, Mary Blair, Takashi Murakami, Yoshitomo Nara, Keith Haring, and Robert Rauschenberg (another queer artist from Port Arthur, TX)

Wrapping it up…for now.

I’m so happy that I had a chance to reacquaint myself with a friend/collaborator of over 30 years. I love sitting down and talking to people. Everyone has a story- let’s face it- everyone has a whole crapload of them! I find that sharing stories with one another is a great way to realize that we are not alone in whatever it is we are going through and that our diversity of experiences and influences doesn’t have to separate or isolate us, in fact, they can connect us in ways we couldn’t have imagined.

There’s more to come….we haven’t even gotten to his video art!

Where you can find Mr. James

Website: MrJamesWorkshop.comInstagram: @mrjamesworkshopBluesky: @mrjamesworkshop

Contact: hello@mrjamesworkshop.com TAGS: #queercosmicfolkart, #popart, #losangelesart, #westhollywoodart, #mrjamesworkshop, #mrjamesworkshopshow

Until next time- love ya lots!Jenni

Jenni Tooley Presents is a grass roots-supported endeavor. Consider becoming a free or paid subscriber to support the work and keep it accessible to all regardless of their financial situation.

Hi Darlin! Welcome to our first episode of “in the heartlight”- an in-depth multimedia interview series! You’ll get the most out of the experience by listening to the podcast audio while following along with the text and images. If you can’t listen to the episode, check out the audio transcript- it’s messy but full of amazing insights and stories!

We begin the series with my longtime friend and collaborator, Mr James-known to me as…Dalton.

Mr. James (known by me as Dalton) is a Los Angeles-based artist and cosmic raconteur, spinning vivid stories from the unanswered questions of childhood. Through painting and video, he transforms these mysteries into primary color-soaked, mytho-psychological pop fairy tales. His work, rooted in character as mythology, draws from pop and folk art traditions, with echoes of his years in NYC’s fashion world. At its core, his art is an homage to life in motion—ever-evolving, ever-becoming.

First, a trip down memory lane (1990-2002)(corresponds with minute 02:07 in the podcast audio/transcript)

“Dalton: One of the very first shows I did in Dallas as a performance artist…It was when I met you, and that was so long ago. And yet it was such a beautiful experience. I think we were both doing pieces that we felt so great about. And it was such a beautiful way to get introduced to you, your work, and for me to introduce my work and myself to you as wellJenni: That would have been at UTD. Was that “Piecing the Quilt?”

Dalton: That was Piecing the Quilt.

Jenni: Holy crap. I didn't even remember that one. I hadn’t gotten that far back!”

“Jenni: I don’t think it was the next thing we did together, but it was one of my dad's most unfavorite plays I was in…the Tennessee Williams play…warning signs

Dalton: Oh god, “Small Craft Warnings”. Yes. The other day I was looking for a voice to do and I was looking at Tennessee Williams and he was interviewing with Dick Cavett- I think he’s drunk- but he's talking about Small Craft Warnings. Yeah, it's fascinating. They don't talk much about the play because they couldn't- but it's a really funny interview…speaking of things that that maybe you didn't want to invite your parents to I remember having to stuff my pants for that show…”

“Dalton: Good lord. Time is... Yeah, I did my one-man show in 2002. That was my last time on stage with... now I can't think of the name… Stag. My one-man extravaganza.

Jenni: Oh, I didn't see that because I was in New York by then.”

Winding our way through the streets of New York City, finding your truth and how artistic processes evolve. (Timecode in audio/transcript 14:05)

This portion of the interview is a whirlwind of ideas, insights, and topics, including but not limited to:

* -Texas Sheet Cakes in NYC bars

* -Employing ChatGPT as part of the artistic process-Interviewing your characters, whether in a script or a painting

* -How project management can make creative pursuits even more awesome!

Now back to NYC…

“Dalton: [In NYC] It's harder there to be heard, so my voice got super super quiet for a very long time- which was okay. I would still sketch and draw and stuff. I can't complain because I wound up doing t-shirt graphics for a living, which is a strange thing in itself and it got me into that world of what would be termed “apparel” or “fashion”, but it didn't do a lot for my genuine creative voice. Even though I got exposed to so much wonderful stuff, I just never felt, or I never took the chance, the opportunity to have that dialogue in that place.”

“Dalton:I wasn't looking for the truth as much.I wanted to be clever.I wanted to be exciting and sexy.And it wasn't as much about truth telling.And it wasn't as much about truth telling.And it wasn't about exploration of myself.

It was about trying to define myself in terms of pop culture, which was hard to do because I couldn't find myself in pop culture. So I wanted to try and somehow embed myself in pop culture, but I wasn't doing it with truth-telling in my storytelling.

So now I start with an idea that's a feeling or an expression that I would like to make. And then, put it through the business mill- you know, you have to set your deadlines, get your supplies, and run your ideas up against other people and see if you can get a little bit of feedback. Certainly, it's not going to tell you what direction to take. Thank goodness. Or, or how it's supposed to look, but you can see if it's sticking.

Your truth is sticking.”

Whew! That brings us up to date…join us next week for Part 2 where we will explore Queer Cosmic Folk Art, the mythology that Dalton has built for himself, and the evolution of the Billies!Until then, travel to Eureka Springs for the “Meet the Billies Tour”. Can’t make the physical trip? Take a virtual trip to

MrJamesWorkshop.combluesky: Dalton Jamesinstagram: Dalton JamesContact: hello@mrjamesworkshop.com

See you next week!Lotsa love, Jenni

Jenni Tooley Presents is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

PS: There’s a lot of material to cover, so I have written up multiple posts (you just read Part 1). However, I didn’t want to tear the podcast episode into pieces, so I chose to include it in its entirety with every post, no matter which Part you are reading.

Some days are better than others. Some parts of the day are better than others. The good news is this too shall pass.

In this episode of the Cancer Chronicles, I’m talking about what it’s like to have a crappy day while on chemo, the endurance required to get through the end of the entire chemo protocol, and how knowing that the mantra “too shall pass” can get me through one day at a time.

If you've been following my journey, you know it’s not just about the treatments; it’s finding joy in the small things, like great food, simple moments of laughter, and the people who show up along the way. The Cancer Chronicles is for anyone dealing with difficulties and life-altering challenges. It’s the push you need to give yourself the grace to take things one day at a time and to enjoy the process.

If this episode helped you, or if you just want to hear more, don’t forget to visit jennitooley.com for more updates and ways to support the podcast. You can also check out the Jenni Tooley Presents community on Substack to stay connected and find out how you can get involved. Your support makes all the difference!

Thank you for journeying with me. Remember, you’re not alone! Love ya!

My goal is to keep Jenni Tooley Presents accessible to anyone regardless of their financial situation. You can support the mission by dropping a tip in the jar or becoming a paid subscriber!

Credits:Special thanks to LEV in the Wild for the beautiful song "XYZ," courtesy of Holly Ragland. You can enjoy more of LEV's music at levinthewild.bandcamp.com.

A huge shoutout to Bruce Richardson, our amazing sound designer, for creating the intro and outro bumpers.

And a heartfelt thank you to Prettie Philippa, our wonderful podcast manager, for keeping everything running smoothly behind the scenes.

Thanks to Dalton James of Mr. James Workshop for providing us with amazing graphic design and branding.

Also, thank you to Willy, Ryan, Peggy, Daniel, Megan, Nancy, Pam, Carol, Patricia, Linda, Jenny, Tess, and Tom for supporting the podcast on Substack. You’ve made it possible to produce and share these episodes!

Connect with me:Instagram: Jenni TooleyFacebook: Jenni TooleyWebsite: Jennitooley.com

Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered or used as medical or legal advice.

Welcome back to Confessions of an Aging Ingénue! I’m your host, Jenni Tooley. This episode is a quick catch-up, as we dive into the real-life struggles of navigating cancer treatment while still trying to enjoy life’s little pleasures.

I misplaced my glasses only to find them in the most unexpected place and it served as a reminder of how unpredictable life can be, especially when you’re dealing with the mental fog of chemo brain combined with menopause.

That’s exactly what I’ve been learning as I shift from the person I used to be to who I’m becoming now. Whether it’s learning to accept my limitations or simply following my intuition, I’ve discovered new ways to thrive—without forcing things.

For example, I started making upcycled baskets and holiday packages with things I found at thrift stores, even from boxes left out on the street. Stores in town loved them! It’s also fun for me and an excellenr reminder that I can still contribute in ways that bring joy to others—even if they’re small things.

This has all been part of a journey of acceptance. At first, it can feel like we’re letting go of something, like the activities we once enjoyed. But acceptance is powerful; it allows room for something new to unfold. And you know what? It’s okay to grieve what we’ve lost, but let’s also start looking for what still brings us joy. Sometimes it’s just about doing something fun and unexpected.

I have discovered that every time I stopped trying to control the outcome and simply followed the flow, good things happened.

Through my journey with cancer, I’ve made so much self-discovery, uncovering strength I never knew I had, learning to embrace vulnerability, and finding a deeper appreciation for the small, beautiful moments in life. The kindness and connections I’ve experienced have reminded me that thriving isn’t always about big achievements or plans; sometimes it’s showing up and allowing life to unfold naturally.

This is what thriving looks like for me now. Not doing it all or having everything figured out but embracing the little moments, staying open, and trusting that what’s meant for me will come in its own time.

If you've been following my journey, you know it’s not just about the treatments; it’s finding joy in the small things, like great food, simple moments of laughter, and the people who show up along the way. The Cancer Chronicles is for anyone dealing with difficulties and life-altering challenges. It’s the push you need to give yourself the grace to take things one day at a time and to enjoy the process.

If this episode helped you, or if you just want to hear more, don’t forget to visit jennitooley.com for more updates and ways to support the podcast. You can also check out the Jenni Tooley Presents community on Substack to stay connected and find out how you can get involved. Your support makes all the difference!

Thank you for journeying with me. Remember, you’re not alone in this!

Credits:Special thanks to LEV in the Wild for the beautiful song "XYZ," courtesy of Holly Ragland. You can enjoy more of LEV's music at levinthewild.bandcamp.com.

A huge shoutout to Bruce Richardson, our amazing sound designer, for creating the intro and outro bumpers.

And a heartfelt thank you to Prettie Philippa, our wonderful podcast manager, for keeping everything running smoothly behind the scenes.

Thanks to Dalton James of Mr. James Workshop for providing us with amazing graphic design and branding.Also, thank you to Peggy, Daniel, Nancy, Pam, Carol, Patricia, Linda, Jenny, Tess, and Tom for supporting the podcast on Substack. You’ve made it possible to produce and share these episodes!

Connect with me:Instagram: Jenni TooleyFacebook: Jenni TooleyWebsite: Jennitooley.com

Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered or used as medical or legal advice.

Welcome back to Confessions of an Aging Ingénue! I’m your host, Jenni Tooley, and in this episode, I’m diving into the reality of managing expectations, both for myself and others, while navigating my cancer journey.

Cancer has a funny way of flipping the script on everything you thought you knew about your life. And today, I’m opening up about my second cycle of chemo and the intense hand-foot syndrome I’ve been dealing with. Picture your feet burning as if you've just run barefoot across hot asphalt—yep, that's what it feels like! But it's not all about the physical side of things. I’m also talking about the emotional toll of managing expectations during this process—whether it's my own expectations or those from others.

In this raw, unfiltered episode, I share how I've had to adjust my plans, let go of big events, and simply focus on healing. I’ve also learned the power of being kind to myself and accepting that rest and self-care are equally important as productivity. Through all this, I'm discovering that sometimes, not doing anything is exactly what you need to do.

Jenni Tooley Presents is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

This episode is for anyone who has ever had to reevaluate their priorities and manage their expectations—whether dealing with illness, life changes, or just trying to keep up with the world around you.

If you're struggling to give yourself permission to slow down, then this episode is definitely for you! Tune in for valuable insights on how to take it easy, trust your body, and find peace in the present.

Want to support the podcast? Visit Jennitooley.com for more goodness and to get involved. You can also find the Jenni Tooley Presents community on Substack—become a subscriber and discover exciting new content!

And as always, I want to remind you that you are loved and never alone in this journey.

Credits:

A special thanks to LEV in the Wild for the beautiful song "XYZ," courtesy of Holly Ragland. You can enjoy more of LEV's music at levinthewild.bandcamp.com.

Big shoutout to Bruce Richardson, our incredible sound designer, for crafting the intro and outro bumpers that set the tone for our episodes.

A heartfelt thank you to Prettie Philippa, our amazing podcast manager, for keeping everything running smoothly behind the scenes.

Dalton James of Mr. James Workshop provided us with amazing graphic design and branding elements.

And a huge thank you to Peggy, Daniel, Nancy, Pam, Carol, Patricia, Linda, Jenny, Tess, and Tom for supporting the podcast as paid subscribers to the Substack. Your support has made it possible to produce and publish 8 episodes so far!

Connect with me:Instagram: Jenni TooleyFacebook: Jenni TooleyWebsite: Jennitooley.com

Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered or used as medical or legal advice.

Welcome back to Confessions of an Aging Ingénue! I’m your host, Jenni Tooley, and today, I’m discussing the struggles of making tough decisions during cancer treatment (and life in general!). It’s not always about what feels good—it’s about what’s necessary.

So, here’s the deal—yesterday was a big day for me: I had my first IV drip chemo infusion. And let me tell you, the emotional rollercoaster leading up to it was wild. I didn’t want to go, I was scared, and I was torn between wanting to do everything I could to fight this cancer and just wanting to avoid the whole thing. I’m sure many of you can relate to those moments when you’re forced to push through fear because you know it’s necessary.

In this episode, I’m sharing my journey from the prep work at the doctor’s office, my internal battle about the infusion, and how it all came down to just being willing to take the next step—even when it felt uncomfortable. You’ll hear about how I navigated my emotions and why this moment marked an important step in my healing process.

If you’re facing difficult decisions or moments of doubt, this episode is here to remind you that it’s okay to feel conflicted. I hope that this encourages you to find the courage to keep moving forward. Every step counts, and sometimes just being willing to show up is the most important thing you can do.

As always, thank you for your continued support. If you want to be part of this journey with me, visit jennitooley.com to get involved. Don’t forget to check out the Jenni Tooley Presents community on Substack to support the podcast and stay updated on new content.

Credits:Special thanks to LEV in the Wild for the beautiful song "XYZ," courtesy of Holly Ragland. You can enjoy more of LEV's music at levinthewild.bandcamp.com.

A big shoutout to Bruce Richardson, our incredible sound designer, for crafting the intro and outro bumpers that set the tone for our episodes.

And a heartfelt thank you to Prettie Philippa, our amazing podcast manager, for keeping everything running smoothly behind the scenes.

Dalton James of Mr. James Workshop for providing us with amazing graphic design and branding elements.

And Peggy, Daniel, Nancy, Pam, Carol, Patricia, Linda, Jenny, Tess, and Tom for becoming paid subscribers to the Substack. You’ve given us the ability to produce and publish 8 episodes so far!

Thank you for tuning in, and I’ll catch you in the next episode!

Connect with me:Instagram: Jenni TooleyFacebook: Jenni TooleyWebsite: Jennitooley.com

Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered or used as medical or legal advice.

Welcome back to the Confessions of an Aging Ingénue! I’m your host, Jenni Tooley, and we’re diving into the highs, lows, and downright unexpected moments of my cancer journey in Season 3: The Cancer Chronicles.

As you know, I’ve got cancer. And I’m bringing you along for the ride, sharing my raw, unfiltered experiences, including the good, the bad, and yes, even the rectal humor.

In today’s episode, I reflect on my so-called two-week "break" after six intense weeks of radiation and chemo pills. Spoiler: it wasn’t much of a break! I was navigating ongoing side effects like fatigue, burns, and even unexpected challenges like urinary incontinence. So, I’m sharing how I’ve been learning to adapt and focus on healing.

Thanks for reading Jenni Tooley Presents! This post is public so feel free to share it.

What does healing look like? It’s not just rest—it's prioritizing, delegating, and letting go of things that don’t matter. I’ll share practical tips on assembling a support team, using the Buff Muff Method (yes, that’s a thing), and learning to adapt to unpredictable energy levels.

If you or someone you know is navigating treatment—or simply facing a tough season—this episode is packed with insights about prioritizing self-care, celebrating small wins, and asking + accepting help where you need it.

Want to support the podcast and discover more goodness?Visit jennitooley.com for updates and to join the conversation.Subscribe to our community on Substack for exclusive content and sneak peeks.

Until next time, remember: you are loved—never doubt it.

Jenni Tooley Presents is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Credits:Special thanks to LEV in the Wild for the beautiful song "XYZ," courtesy of Holly Ragland. Check out more of LEV's music at levinthewild.bandcamp.com.

Huge appreciation to Bruce Richardson, our sound designer, for creating those magical intros and outros.

A massive shoutout to Prettie Philippa, our incredible podcast manager, for keeping everything running smoothly behind the scenes.

Thank you to Dalton James of Mr. James Workshop for his fantastic graphic design and branding skills.

And of course, our heartfelt thanks to our amazing paid subscribers on Substack: Peggy, Daniel, Nancy, Pam, Carol, Patricia, Linda, Jenny, Tess, and Tom! You’ve made this podcast possible.

Connect with me:Instagram: Jenni TooleyFacebook: Jenni TooleyWebsite: Jennitooley.com

Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered or used as medical or legal advice.

Have you ever felt the joy of celebrating a victory, even when the battle isn’t over yet?

Welcome to Confessions of an Aging Ingénue! I’m your host, Jenni Tooley. Season 3, The Cancer Chronicles, has been an emotional journey for me, and I’m thrilled to share my unfiltered experiences with you!

So, I know I might have sounded a bit down in the last episode, but today, I’m feeling pretty up! Want to know why? Because I rang the bell today!

I just completed 28 days of combined chemo pills and radiation. That’s right—five days a week, I went to get radiation and took six chemo pills daily. And today, after my last treatment, I celebrated! I was dancing in that radiation tube, whooping it up, and let me tell you, I rang that bell like there was no tomorrow. 

Jenni Tooley Presents is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

In this episode, I’m reflecting on the significance of celebrating milestones, no matter how small they may seem. Even if you’re not at the finish line yet, it’s essential to acknowledge the steps you’ve taken along the way and it’s vital to acknowledge your victories and the progress you have made. 

I’ll share stories from my journey, the inspiring people I've met, and how embracing vulnerability has transformed my outlook. The energy in the radiation lounge is incredible—there’s a huge difference between those who celebrate and those who don’t. Trust me, every little win matters! 

This episode is for anyone who’s facing challenges, whether big or small. We all need reminders to celebrate our progress, so if you're feeling down or stuck, this episode is here to lift you up. You’ll gain insight into the power of mindset and community, and I hope to inspire you to recognize and honor your own milestones. 

Thanks for reading Jenni Tooley Presents! This post is public so feel free to share it.

If something resonated with you, please let it move from your head to your heart. It may not happen right away, but it will. You can support the podcast in all the ways you know how—visit jennitooley.com for more goodness and to get involved. 

Your support means the world. Visit the Jenni Tooley Presents community on Substack, and find out how you can support the podcast. You never know what exciting content may pop up next!

And for those who prefer one-time support over a subscription, you can contribute directly via my Tip Jar on Stripe.

Until next time, remember you are loved—never doubt it! 

Credits:Special thanks to LEV in the Wild for the beautiful song "XYZ," courtesy of Holly Ragland. You can enjoy more of LEV's music at levinthewild.bandcamp.com. 

A big shoutout to Bruce Richardson, our incredible sound designer, for crafting the intro and outro bumpers that set the tone for our episodes. 

And a heartfelt thank you to Prettie Philippa, our amazing podcast manager, for keeping everything running smoothly behind the scenes. 

Dalton James of Mr James Workshop for providing us with amazing graphic design and branding elements. 

And Daniel, Peggy, Nancy, Pam, Carol, Patricia, Linda, Jenny, Tess, and Tom for becoming paid subscribers to the substack. You’ve given us the ability to produce and publish 8 episodes so far! 

Thank you for tuning in, and we’ll catch you in the next episode!

Connect with me:Instagram: Jenni TooleyFacebook: Jenni TooleyWebsite: Jennitooley.com

Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered or used as medical or legal advice.

Welcome back, listeners! It’s Confessions of an Aging Ingenue with Jenni Tooley. As you already know, I’ve got cancer! And as always, I'm taking you on this journey with me. Sharing the good, the bad, the ugly and everything in-between – it’s raw vulnerability at its best. 

This season happens to be about my cancer journey, but don’t worry if you’re not facing the same battle—you’ll still find plenty to relate to. I’m sharing my story, along with tips and tricks that are helping me navigate this chaotic moment with as much peace and joy as possible. And yes, expect a bit of good old rectal humor along the way. 

In today’s episode, I’m feeling a little grumpy, which I think is important to share because we all have our ups and downs—whether we’re facing cancer treatment or just dealing with life’s everyday challenges.

After a tough round of radiation and chemo, I found myself grappling with some unwelcome abdominal discomfort and fatigue, leaving me questioning my energy and mental state. It’s a tough balancing act, and sometimes, it feels like the goals I’ve been visualizing and working towards are just out of reach. But amidst the chaos, I’m discovering that just because my plans aren’t coming together right now doesn’t mean they won’t happen eventually. 

This episode is perfect for anyone grappling with the uncertainties of life, be it health-related or otherwise. We’re all just trying to find our way, right?

I’ll talk about the importance of acknowledging our feelings and how sometimes the goals we’re striving for can seem far away, even if they’re still within reach. Together, we’ll explore how to hold onto hope and recognize the small victories in our lives, even when they feel overshadowed by challenges. So, tune in! 

Remember, if anything I shared today resonated with you, please take a moment to let it move from your head to your heart. You can support the podcast in all the ways you know how—visit jennitooley.com for all the goodies we have going on. 

Visit the Jenni Tooley Presents community on Substack, and find out how you can support the podcast. You never know what exciting content may pop up next!

Until next time, love ya lots!

Credits:Special thanks to LEV in the Wild for the beautiful song "XYZ," courtesy of Holly Ragland. You can enjoy more of LEV's music at levinthewild.bandcamp.com. 

A big shoutout to Bruce Richardson, our incredible sound designer, for crafting the intro and outro bumpers that set the tone for our episodes. 

And a heartfelt thank you to Prettie Philippa, our amazing podcast manager, for keeping everything running smoothly behind the scenes. 

Dalton James of Mr James Workshop for providing us with amazing graphic design and branding elements. 

And Daniel, Nancy, Pam, Carol, Patricia, Linda, Jenny, Tess, and Tom for becoming paid subscribers to the substack. You’ve given us the ability to produce and publish 8 episodes so far! 

Thank you for tuning in, and we’ll catch you in the next episode!

Connect with me:Instagram: Jenni TooleyFacebook: Jenni TooleyWebsite: Jennitooley.com

Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered or used as medical or legal advice.

You know the season I’m talking about. The one where you run yourself ragged trying to create the “perfect holiday experience” but find yourself, once again, in the middle of a Hallmark Christmas movie that’s been abruptly interrupted by a family drama that you could have predicted and taken actions to avoid but thought “hey, this year will be different.”

Do you feel like you’ve already given all you have and if you have to make one more decision or have one more hard conversation you’re going to scream and then go hide under the covers?

You are not alone.

When we’re physically and emotionally drained it’s easy to give in to overwhelm and confusion. It’s common to feel irritated by every little thing. And it’s hard to come at problems, plans, and relationships with a clear head.

Never fear! I’ve been there and I’m here for you! I’ve pulled two very relevant and helpful goodies for you from the Creative Life Support archives!

In July 2022,

I created a coaching video(above) on how to “Take Charge and Recharge” and a short, guided meditation (below) called “Recollecting Your Energy”. Isn’t it amazing how these practices are universal and can be applied to so many different situations? Let’s get to it!

Recollecting your energy visualization/meditation

If you feel drained, irritated, or resentful then you may be having some trouble managing your own time and energy. No judgement here—I’ve been there before many times. It’s so much easier to give other people my time and energy than it is to give it to myself. I learned a great trick that I am going to share here with you—it’s a guided visualization to help you go out and collect all of that energy that you gave away so that you have more for yourself- and more to give again!Let me know how it went and if you would like to see more tools like this shared in our community:)You are loved- never doubt it.Jenni

Please help me keep 100% of the posts in Jenni Tooley Presents accessible to all. If you have the ability to become a paid subscriber, please do. You’re not only supporting me, but serving a multitude of people you may never even meet:)

Thank you! Let’s dive in!

Cancer Chronicles Ep 9: Living in the MomentHow much of your life are you trying to plan right now—and is it really working?

Hi there, welcome back to another raw and unfiltered episode of the Cancer Chronicles! This is Confessions of an Aging Ingenue podcast with your sweet host, Jenni Tooley.

This weekend has been rough—when I say rough, I mean it in all the messy, real ways. It’s Day 19 out of 28 in my chemo and radiation marathon, and, well, let's just say those side effects are not messing around. I used to think I could plan for things, but now, life’s giving me a whole new perspective. 

This episode, I’m taking you with me through the ups and downs of showing up as I am, whether that’s at the gym, lifting lighter weights than I used to, or simply getting through the day.

I'll be sharing a conversation I had with a man who’s been fighting his own cancer battle for over a year, reminding me that every day is different and unpredictable. And isn’t that true for all of us, whether we’re in treatment or just living our lives? It’s about being present, adjusting as needed, and learning to let go of rigid plans that just don’t serve us anymore.

If you’ve ever found yourself feeling defeated by plans that didn’t work out, or you’re in need of some encouragement to keep showing up even when things are hard, I hope this episode brings you strength and peace. Because cancer or no cancer, life’s twists and turns are unavoidable, but thriving comes from meeting each day as it is.

If something in today’s episode resonates with you, let it settle in—trust me, it will. And if you’d like to support the podcast or check out what’s happening over at jennitooley.com, there’s always something new popping up. 

For those who prefer one-time support over a subscription, you can contribute directly via my Tip Jar on Stripe.

Take care, and I’ll catch you next time. You are loved.

Credits:Special thanks to LEV in the Wild for the beautiful song "XYZ," courtesy of Holly Ragland. You can enjoy more of LEV's music at levinthewild.bandcamp.com. 

A big shoutout to Bruce Richardson, our incredible sound designer, for crafting the intro and outro bumpers that set the tone for our episodes. 

And a heartfelt thank you to Prettie Philippa, our amazing podcast manager, for keeping everything running smoothly behind the scenes. 

Dalton James of Mr James Workshop for providing us with amazing graphic design and branding elements. 

And Daniel, Nancy, Pam, Carol, Patricia, Linda, Jenny, Tess, and Tom for becoming paid subscribers to the substack. You’ve given us the ability to produce and publish 8 episodes so far! 

Thank you for tuning in, and we’ll catch you in the next episode!

Connect with me:Instagram: Jenni TooleyFacebook: Jenni TooleyWebsite: Jennitooley.com

Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered or used as medical or legal advice.

Thanks for reading Jenni Tooley Presents! This post is public so feel free to share it.

In this episode, I’ll be sharing the raw reality of day 11 of my chemo and radiation treatment. The truth is, it's a full-time job! Between juggling doctor's appointments, handling finances, and figuring out how to deal with nausea and fatigue, it's a lot. But I'm here, showing up, sharing the real, unfiltered, messy journey with you.

The questions are rolling in, and I’ll be tackling a few of them while also giving you a glimpse into what my new day-to-day looks like.

This post is public so feel free to share it with someone who might need a dose of hope or humor.

We’re talking all about the questions people ask me, the logistics of treatment, and how my life has taken a detour I never expected. But even in the chaos, there's laughter, love, and support from Team Jenni (shoutout to my friends, family, and a ton of rectal humor).

This episode is for anyone going through a tough time, for everyone who's fighting something, big or small; whether it's cancer, another health issue, or just the daily chaos of life. You'll hear about my experiences, my ups and downs, and maybe even something that'll help you or someone you care about get through their own detours.

So, if you're here for some real talk, practical advice, or just to laugh with (and at) me, you're in the right place! Grab a seat and come along for the ride.

If you’re enjoying this journey with me, please subscribe, share, and leave a review — you never know who might need a little humor or hope right now. And for those who prefer one-time support over a subscription, you can contribute directly via my Tip Jar on Stripe.

Stay connected by visiting www.jennitooley.com for updates and to join the Jenni Tooley Presents Community on Substack. Your support means everything, and you never know what exciting content might pop up next!

Credits:Special thanks to LEV in the Wild for the beautiful song "XYZ," courtesy of Holly Ragland. You can enjoy more of LEV's music at levinthewild.bandcamp.com. 

A big shoutout to Bruce Richardson, our incredible sound designer, for crafting the intro and outro bumpers that set the tone for our episodes. 

And a heartfelt thank you to Prettie Philippa, our amazing podcast manager, for keeping everything running smoothly behind the scenes. 

Dalton James of Mr James Workshop for providing us with amazing graphic design and branding elements.

And Nancy, Pam, Carol, Patricia, Linda, Jenny, Tess, and Tom for becoming paid subscribers to the substack. You’ve given us the ability to produce and publish 8 episodes so far!

Thank you for tuning in, and we’ll catch you in the next episode!

Connect with me:Instagram: Jenni TooleyFacebook: Jenni TooleyWebsite: Jennitooley.com

Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered or used as medical or legal advice.

Jenni Tooley Presents is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Welcome to another episode of the Confessions of an Aging Ingénue, Season 3! with Jenni Tooley. As we continue the Cancer Chronicles, I’m opening up about the chaos and challenges that come with cancer, but more importantly, how I’ve found ways to maintain a joyful perspective despite it all. One of the biggest lessons? Learning to ask for help. I know how tough it can be to admit you need support, but there’s a beauty in allowing others to step in and share the load. Accepting help, as I’ve found, brings not only relief but also a deeper sense of connection and joy.

I talk about how saying “yes” to opportunities—even when faced with adversity—has been a crucial part of my journey. And how the small but significant moment that bring me happiness, like enjoying a delicious meal or receiving thoughtful gestures from friends. These simple pleasures have uplifted my spirit during treatment and remind me that joy can be found, even in the toughest times.

Thanks for reading Jenni Tooley Presents! This post is public so feel free to share it.

This episode is for anyone who’s faced personal challenges, especially health-related, anyone seeking practical tips on how to navigate life’s difficulties with humor and grace, and anyone who needs help but doesn’t know how to ask or receive it.

Whether you're dealing with something similar or just looking for a little bit of light in your own struggles, I know you will find something meaningful in my story.

Tune in for an episode full of laughter, raw honesty, and incredible insights.

If this episode resonates with you or could help someone you know, please share it! Your support means the world. Visit www.jennitooley.com to stay updated.

Join the community on Substack, and find out how you can support the podcast. You never know what exciting content may pop up next!

Credits:Special thanks to LEV in the Wild for the beautiful song "XYZ," courtesy of Holly Ragland. You can enjoy more of LEV's music at levinthewild.bandcamp.com.

A big shoutout to Bruce Richardson, our incredible sound designer, for crafting the intro and outro bumpers that set the tone for our episodes.

And a heartfelt thank you to Prettie Philippa, our amazing podcast manager, for keeping everything running smoothly behind the scenes.

Dalton James of Mr James Workshop for providing us with amazing graphic design and branding elements.

And Daniel, Nancy, Pam, Carol, Patricia, Linda, Jenny, Tess, and Tom for becoming paid subscribers to the substack. You’ve given us the ability to produce and publish 8 episodes so far!

Thank you for tuning in, and we’ll catch you in the next episode!

Connect with me:

Instagram: Jenni TooleyFacebook: Jenni TooleyWebsite: Jennitooley.com

Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered or used as medical or legal advice.

Jenni Tooley Presents is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Ever wondered how to find laughter in life’s toughest moments?

Welcome back to Confessions of an Aging Ingénue, Season 3! I’m your sweet host Jenni Tooley and I’m excited to have you join me on another unfiltered episode of the Cancer Chronicles.

I’m chronicling my journey, experiences and most importantly, the lessons I’m learning as someone diagnosed with Stage 3 rectal cancer. But don’t worry, this isn’t a sad story. I’m bringing my sense of humor, vulnerability, and realness to the forefront, turning this journey into something relatable and—absolutely—uplifting.

I take you with me through the wild ride of my first day of chemo and radiation. Between the six-centimeter tumor I’m determined to shrink and trying weasel coffee, I’m finding ways to laugh, stay grounded, and assemble a support team to help me through. It's all about staying positive, even when life gets messy. Along the way, I’ve created rituals like meditating with my cats and taking my chemo pills with a dose of gratitude. These small actions help me stay present and find joy in the midst of the chaos.

This post is public so feel free to share it with someone who could use it:)

In this episode, you’ll get a firsthand account of my cancer journey, with raw honesty and practical insights on how I manage both the emotional and physical challenges. I’ve learned that it’s possible to find calm and even laughter in the most uncertain times. You’ll hear how I’ve been able to navigate this life-changing experience by creating new routines, focusing on gratitude, and surrounding myself with a strong support system. If I’m going to feel like crap, let’s condense it all and get it done quicker!  This approach—along with the idea of finding fun even in tough situations—keeps me grounded.

This episode is packed with laughter, honesty, and heart—whether you're dealing with cancer or just trying to manage life’s everyday chaos. So, tune in!

If this episode resonates with you or could help someone you know, please share it! Your support means the world. Visit www.jennitooley.com to stay updated, join the community on Substack, and find out how you can support the podcast. You never know what exciting content may pop up next!

Your support means the world. Visit the Jenni Tooley Presents community on Substack, and find out how you can support the podcast. You never know what exciting content may pop up next!

Join the community our Substack community- you never know what might pop up!

Credits:Special thanks to LEV in the Wild for the beautiful song "XYZ," courtesy of Holly Ragland. You can enjoy more of LEV's music at levinthewild.bandcamp.com. 

A big shoutout to Bruce Richardson, our incredible sound designer, for crafting the intro and outro bumpers that set the tone for our episodes. 

And a heartfelt thank you to Prettie Philippa, our amazing podcast manager, for keeping everything running smoothly behind the scenes. 

Dalton James of Mr James Workshop for providing us with amazing graphic design and branding elements.

And Nancy, Pam, Carol, Patricia, Linda, Jenny, Tess, and Tom for becoming paid subscribers to the substack. You’ve given us the ability to produce and publish 8 episodes so far!

Thank you for tuning in, and we’ll catch you in the next episode!

Connect with me:Instagram: Jenni TooleyFacebook: Jenni TooleyWebsite: Jennitooley.com

Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered or used as medical or legal advice.

Jenni Tooley Presents is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Have you ever felt like life is spinning out of control, and no matter how hard you try, the chaos just keeps piling up?

Welcome back to Confessions of an Aging Ingenue with Jenni Tooley! Like you already know, I have been diagnosed with Cancer and I’m inviting you to join me on this wild ride. Don’t worry, it’s not going to be all doom and gloom. There will be laughs, tears, and of course, some good ol’ rectal humor.

In this episode, I’m sharing more about the chaos that’s swirling around me—both inside and out. Before my diagnosis, I was already exploring the idea of becoming a "chaos coach," helping people find peace in their messiest moments. And now? I’ve been thrown right into the ultimate chaos myself. From world crises to personal health battles, chaos is everywhere. But I’m learning how to find peace within it, and I’m here to share that journey with you. 

This post is public so feel free to share it with someone who could use it:)

Chaos is universal, and whether it’s global events or personal health scares, it hits all of us. The difference lies in how we handle it. Instead of battling chaos, I’m learning to live with it, and that’s where peace surprisingly starts to show up.

Whether you’re dealing with global craziness, family drama, or just the everyday chaos in your mind, this episode is for you. I’ll be talking about the chaos in our bodies, the monkey mind we can’t quiet, and how a simple deep breath can be our greatest tool.  Did you know that your heart and gut have their own "brains"? Yeah, I didn’t either. But it’s true, and we’ll explore how they help us stay grounded when things feel out of control.  I’ll also walk you through the magic of belly breathing and how it calms the nervous system, sending a message to your body that says, "Hey, it’s okay." 

Spoiler alert: You can’t fight chaos, but you can find your peace in the middle of it.

Tune in now and let’s figure out how to find peace, even when everything’s exploding around us.

Join the Jenni Tooley Presents community on Substack. You never know what exciting content may pop up next!

Credits:Special thanks to LEV in the Wild for the beautiful song "XYZ," courtesy of Holly Ragland. You can enjoy more of LEV's music at levinthewild.bandcamp.com. 

A big shoutout to Bruce Richardson, our incredible sound designer, for crafting the intro and outro bumpers that set the tone for our episodes. 

And a heartfelt thank you to Prettie Philippa, our amazing podcast manager, for keeping everything running smoothly behind the scenes. 

Dalton James of Mr James Workshop for providing us with amazing graphic design and branding elements.

And Daniel,Nancy, Pam, Carol, Patricia, Linda, Jenny, Tess, and Tom for becoming paid subscribers to the substack. You’ve given us the ability to produce and publish 8 episodes so far!

Thank you for tuning in, and we’ll catch you in the next episode!

Connect with me:Instagram: Jenni TooleyFacebook: Jenni TooleyWebsite: Jennitooley.com

Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered or used as medical or legal advice.

Jenni Tooley Presents is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Fun fact: Did you know that our substack provides transcripts for subscribers who lean more toward reading than listening?

Now let’s dig in!

Welcome to another inspiring, insightful, and entertaining episode of Confessions of an Aging Ingénue. I’m your host, Jenni Tooley, and I’m excited to have you join me. This is season 3 - the Cancer Chronicles - where I share my journey and experiences with rectal cancer.

It's been a wild rollercoaster, and in this episode, I’m sharing about the subtle symptoms I initially brushed off as no big deal—like a bit of blood in my stools during perimenopause—only to later discover I was facing a stage 3 cancer diagnosis.

Finding out I had cancer was, of course, a massive shock. The experience has been intense, but I’m determined not to let it weigh me down. Instead, I’m embracing the lessons this journey offers and sharing them with you!

I realized that the small things in life—much like my symptoms—can build up and lead to big changes, so I'm embracing the power of acceptance. And in my own journey, I’ve realized that while cancer is undeniably challenging, it’s far from the scariest thing I’ve ever faced.

In this episode, I share my candid journey through treatment, approaching it with grace, humor (yes, even a few rectal jokes), and a surprising sense of calm. I’ll be sharing about my experiences with anemia, finding support in therapy, and the importance of taking proactive steps for mental health during tough times.

I have discovered that small actions, whether positive or negative, can add up over time. It's all about pausing, reflecting, and finding strength in the little things, no matter what challenges come your way.

Episodes are free to the public. Please share with anyone you think could benefit:)

This episode is a must-listen for anyone facing adversity, whether it's cancer or any other life challenge. It’s a reminder that it’s okay to be vulnerable, to laugh through the pain, and to keep moving forward with strength and grace.

Join me for an inspiring, heartfelt episode filled with honesty, humor, and an unbreakable spirit.

Your support means the world. Visit the Jenni Tooley Presents community on Substack, and find out how you can support the podcast. You never know what exciting content may pop up next!

Join the community our Substack community- you never know what might pop up!

Credits:Special thanks to LEV in the Wild for the beautiful song "XYZ," courtesy of Holly Ragland. You can enjoy more of LEV's music at levinthewild.bandcamp.com. 

A big shoutout to Bruce Richardson, our incredible sound designer, for crafting the intro and outro bumpers that set the tone for our episodes. 

And a heartfelt thank you to Prettie Philippa, our amazing podcast manager, for keeping everything running smoothly behind the scenes. 

Dalton James of Mr James Workshop for providing us with amazing graphic design and branding elements.

And Nancy, Pam, Carol, Patricia, Linda, Jenny, Tess, and Tom for becoming paid subscribers to the substack. You’ve given us the ability to produce and publish 8 episodes so far!

Thank you for tuning in, and we’ll catch you in the next episode!

Connect with me:Instagram: Jenni TooleyFacebook: Jenni TooleyWebsite: Jennitooley.com

Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered or used as medical or legal advice.

Welcome back to another insightful and humor-filled episode of the "Confessions of an Aging Ingénue" with Jenni Tooley. In today’s episode of this raw and real Season 3, aptly titled "Cancer Chronicles.", Jenni takes us through yet another week of navigating the unexpected twists and turns of life with cancer. But this isn’t just about the big "C"—it's about learning to release control, ask for help, and find peace in life, especially when facing particular challenges.

Life is full of unexpected disasters, and navigating them can feel overwhelming—especially when you're already facing something as challenging as cancer. In this episode, Jenni shares a candid, heartfelt account of her recent challenges, from dealing with a last-minute pet sitter crisis to managing the mental gymnastics of an upcoming medical procedure.

So, tune in to hear how Jenni manages these disasters with grace, humor, and a whole lot of resilience. You'll discover insights on how to cope when it feels like the rug is pulled out from under you; the importance of trusting your intuition, and the place of asking for and receiving help—even when it's hard. Don't miss this raw and honest conversation that reminds us all that chaos is inevitable, but how we handle it makes all the difference. As usual, get set for a mix of raw humor, emotional transparency, and practical wisdom!

If today's episode resonated with you, give yourself the time and space to let these insights move from your head to your heart.

To stay connected, support the podcast, or learn more about Jenni's journey, head over to www.jennitooley.com.

Join her Substack, explore the latest content, and consider financially supporting the podcast to keep these heartfelt stories coming.

Thank you for listening! Your support means the world. Let’s continue this journey together—one step, one breath, and one laugh at a time.

Disclaimer:

This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered or used as medical or legal advice.

Credits:

Special thanks to LEV in the Wild for the beautiful song "XYZ," courtesy of Holly Ragland. You can enjoy more of LEV's music at levinthewild.bandcamp.com.

A big shoutout to Bruce Richardson, our incredible sound designer, for crafting the intro and outro bumpers that set the tone for our episodes.

And a heartfelt thank you to Prettie Philippa, our amazing podcast manager, for keeping everything running smoothly behind the scenes.

Until next time!

Connect with me:

Instagram: Jenni Tooley

Facebook: Jenni Tooley

Website: Jennitooley.com

…Just so much to take in. And hearing your story has helped! …Thank you for getting the word out…

I’m so grateful that she felt that she could reach out to me and is benefitting from my sharing my journey so vulnerably. It took some time and courage for me to decide to do it and it’s paying off!

The podcast is currently supported- like so much of my work- by real people like you! You can keep the goodness flowing by subscribing to this substack below or dropping a tip in the tip jar here.

Thank you so much to the supporters of the cast- Carol, Tess, Tom, Jenny, Pam, Linda, and Patricia! Because of you, I have been able to produce and publish 7 episodes so far! You truly are making a difference in my life as well as the lives of others:) Now let’s get this show started!

In this episode, Jenni opens up about the challenges of being vulnerable and letting others step in. Tune in to learn how she breaks through the fear of being a burden and how you too can. It’s time to release control and breathe easier. Don't miss this raw and honest conversation that reminds us all that chaos is inevitable, but how we handle it makes all the difference. As usual, get set for a mix of raw humor, emotional transparency, and practical wisdom!

Love ya lots! I’ll see you next week!

Welcome to another episode in Season 3 of Confessions of an Aging Ingénue with Jenni Tooley.

From the moment she woke up from a routine colonoscopy to hear the words "you have cancer," life took a major detour. For someone who’s been a pretty healthy human—ex-vegan, fitness enthusiast, conscious eater—this diagnosis was a shocker. But that’s life, right? It hands you lemons, and you learn to make lemonade.

Today, still on Cancer Chronicles, Jenni is going into the details—what it’s like navigating the medical system, dealing with insurance headaches, and putting together a care calendar for my fur babies. She shares the strategies that are keeping her sane and grounded, from finding the right healthcare advocate to making the most of the resources available, including grants and wellness support.

And hey, even if you don’t have cancer, there’s something here for you. We’re all dealing with our own chaos, and the lessons Jenni is learning and sharing about staying calm, advocating for oneself, and keeping high-spirits can be applied to any challenge. Plus, there’s plenty of rectal humor to keep things light. Because if we can’t laugh, what can we do?

This episode is not just about cancer—it's about dealing with life's unexpected twists and turns with courage, humor, and grace. Whether you’re battling an illness, facing a personal challenge, or simply looking for a dose of raw honesty and inspiration, this episode offers something for everyone.

If something in this episode resonated with you, take a moment to let it sink in. Remember, these insights are meant to move from your head to your heart. And if you want to support the podcast, head over to www.jennitooley.com. Join the Substack, or consider a financial contribution to keep the podcast going. You never know what else is in store!

Thank you for being here with me on this journey. Your support and love mean everything. Until next time, take care and keep your spirits high!

Disclaimer:

This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered or used as medical or legal advice.

Credits:

Special thanks to LEV in the Wild for the beautiful song "XYZ," courtesy of Holly Ragland. You can enjoy more of LEV's music at levinthewild.bandcamp.com.

A big shoutout to Bruce Richardson, our incredible sound designer, for crafting the intro and outro bumpers that set the tone for our episodes.

And a heartfelt thank you to Prettie Philippa, our amazing podcast manager, for keeping everything running smoothly behind the scenes.

Thank you for tuning in, and we’ll catch you in the next episode!

Connect with me:

Instagram: Jenni Tooley

Facebook: Jenni Tooley

Website:...

Get full access to w/Jenni Tooley at www.jennitooley.com/subscribe]]>https://www.jennitooley.com/p/cancer-now-what-f71b210553a-15cb-4a53-bbce-8a314a61aa36Thu, 19 Sep 2024 16:00:00 GMTJenni TooleyNo1050

THANK YOU!

Thanks so much to Carol, Tess, Tom, and Pam for becoming paid members of this substack! Because of you, we are able to produce four more episodes of the podcast!!! Whoop! Since you all rock so much, I’m making Episode 2 available to you here a day before it goes public!

Keep the episodes coming by becoming a paid member of the substack!

Episode 2 covers how I’m staying mentally and emotionally grounded during a life-altering diagnosis. This episode is not just about cancer—it's about dealing with life's unexpected twists and turns with courage, humor, and grace. Whether you’re battling an illness, facing a personal challenge, or simply looking for a dose of raw honesty and inspiration, this episode offers something for everyone.

Where “The Cancer Chronicles” came from and where it’s going

I started talking to my phone on May 28- and then kept talking to it whenever the mood struck. Since then, I have recorded 16 episodes that follow my journey from diagnosis through the first round of treatment. It’s raw vulnerability at its best- the ups, the downs, how I’m finding peace in the midst of chaos, and some good old rectal humor.

I believe that sharing my story and how I am finding peace in the midst of chaos is not only cathartic for me but will serve many others. There’s so much cancer out there right now. “The Big C” strikes fear and silence into most- so let’s talk about it. It’s part of life. It sucks- but it doesn’t have to suck if we all stick together and find the joy in the gift it brings. That gift is presence.

Come be present with me and take a small action today that could change your life- or someone else’s. Listen to the podcast. Share it with your people. Donate to the production fund. Take out a paid subscription to this substack. Whatever helps you connect.

Thank you so much for being part of this community. I know you’re rooting for me- just like I’m rooting for you!Love ya lots!Jenni

*You have the option of opting out of these letters and listening on your favorite podcast platform instead. But why would you want to do that? You’ll miss all the fun!