The List of Five

Dare to Do the Right Thing, Not the Easy Thing

They have a front row seat.

Our children and grandchildren see us up close. They tend to see most everything. When I was a young father, I read a story regarding this that really caused me to think.

The author wrote about fishing trip he experienced, as a boy, that helped shape his character. His family had a cabin in New Hampshire overlooking a lake, where he and his dad sometimes fished. One particular trip took place the night before bass season opened.

Under the moon lit sky, the boy and his dad sat in their boat casting the shiny silver lure and then reeling it back in, again and again. At one point the boy cast and almost immediately after hitting the water, he felt a tug. The fish began to run and the boy slowly reeled until the fish was near the boat. The boy and his dad pulled the big fish out of the water and into the boat. It was a bass.

His dad struck a match and asked the boy for the time. The boy glanced at his watch and saw that it was 10:00 PM.

“Son, bass season is not open yet. You’ll have to throw him back in the water.” “But dad! the boy exclaimed, ‘it’s the biggest fish I’ve ever caught.’” His dad replied, “Son, it’s not bass season yet.”

The boy grew up and never did catch a bass quite that big. However, he never forgot that evening when he saw his dad do the right thing even when no one was looking.

Howard G. Hendricks, a former professor at Dallas Theological Seminary, once said, “You impress people from a distance. You impact people from up close.”

What are my children (or grandchildren) experiencing as they see me up close?

* Do my children see that I take no short-cuts, even when others do?

* Do my children see me do the right thing? Or, do they hear me say “Don’t tell your grandparents” or “Don’t worry. Everybody does it.”

* Do my children see me put the fish back?

The good news: What your children and grandchildren see up close impacts them. If you really want to impact them for good, do the right thing. Do the right thing even when the issue may seem small and insignificant. Each time you do what you know is honorable, godly, or right you are impacting these children (and others) for good.

Maybe years later, they will remember a moment, a situation, or a challenge that will help them do the right thing. Perhaps they remember how you handled it. It could be they will be inspired to do the same.

(Note: I have long forgotten the source of the fish story above. The wording may be the exact wording in the magazine I read.)

If You Could See Through Another’s Eyes

It was a Saturday morning. My dad asked me if I wanted to go to the new library, the Pleasant Grove Branch of the Dallas Public Library. I had never been to a library before, other than the small library at our school.

Little did I know, I was about to enter a different world.

I looked through the shelves in the children’s library. I picked up a book, flipped through the pages and put it back. Then I came to a section labeled “biographies.” On the cover of each book were names I recognized. Abraham Lincoln. Babe Ruth. Thomas Edison. Amelia Earhart. Helen Keller. Clara Barton. Thomas Jefferson. There were books about so many people.

That day, I checked out five or six books, all biographies. I was captivated by these stories and spent hours getting lost in the lives of these people. My love for biographies has continued to this day.

Sometimes you and I can get bogged down in our own story. We can get overly focused on our pain, our discomforts, or even our quest for happiness. It’s not that these are unimportant. Rather, our lives can be reduced to our own experiences and our own opinions until we pay attention to little else.

Yet, it can be so helpful to be able to look at life through the eyes of another.

Robert Caro has written four volumes of his biography series of former President Lyndon Baines Johnson. (He is working on the fifth volume.) In his book, Working: Researching, Interviewing, Writing, Caro writes about going to LBJ’s childhood home with Samuel Johnson, LBJ’s brother. (The United States Park Service allowed them special access to the home.) They went into the small dining room where Lyndon Johnson ate meals with his father and siblings. Caro asked Samuel Johnson to sit at the table like he would as a boy. He then asked Johnson to talk about the meals as he remembered them.

Rather than sit at the table, Caro stood to the side, trying to imagine these meals as he saw them through the eyes of Samuel Johnson (p. 106-107).

What if you and I were to imagine living in another’s world?

* What was it like during the depression, for my daddy, in Granite, Oklahoma, to join his dad, mother, and two brothers for supper? What did he hear? How did he feel?

* What is it like for my grandchild’s friend, a sixth grader, to experience her parents’ divorce? What questions does she have? How does she feel?

* What is it like to lose your job and to be told, “We don’t need you anymore”? (My friend in North Alabama heard these very words one morning after working in a plant for over 20 years.)

Every day our stories are being lived out. What are others experiencing in my presence?

* What is it like to experience my friendship or to experience me in my family?

* Do I bring care, joy, or energy to my family or friends?

* Do others find me to be on edge, picky, and easily offended?

* Do others find me to be a blessing and even encouraging?

The Janitor With a Mission

There are some people who, regardless of the work they do, never forget their mission. Charles Clark inspires me. (I love the following video and story by Steve Hartman.)

When Ministry is Painful (Especially for Ministers and Other Church Leaders)

A stranger comes into town.

On Sunday, he and his entire family come into the assembly of your congregation. People are welcoming and friendly. The visiting family, who has recently moved into your community, seems pleasant. They soon begin to get involved in the life of the congregation.

Twenty-four months later, everything seems very different. You have been unfairly criticized and attacked by this family. Their e-mails point out your flaws and accuse you of impure motives. Their remarks feel deeply personal and are hurtful. Yes, this is just one family, but this has become a very, difficult situation to live with.

Ministry can be painful - very painful. Ministers know how deep this pain can be. You may feel betrayed or wronged in some way (2 Corinthians 7:5). Perhaps you read a post on social media that sickens you. It was written by someone in your church. There is a venom and a spirit in these words that violate everything you have been preaching for the last few years. You wonder if you are doing any good in your ministry.

Paul experienced in his ministry the following (2 Corinthians):

* Suffering 1:5-6

* Distress 1:6

* Hardships 1:8

* Living under great pressure 1:8

* Despairing of life 1:8

* Feeling the sentence of death 1:9

* Deadly peril 1:10

You might read these words and think, “Why would anyone want to serve as a minister?” Paul even says, “Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches” (11:28).

So what does a minister do?

Some rely on one or more of the following: their intelligence, their training, their experience, their gifts, their network, etc. Yes, these may offer some help.

Ultimately however, we are called to rely on God (1:9). Our “comfort” abounds in Christ. Note that comfort in II Corinthians really isn’t about our ease, painlessness, or lack of inconvenience.

Rather, this English word, in the days of John Wycliff, was used in a way that was closely connected with its root, the Latin word fortis, which means brave, strong, or courageous. (See Nigel Watson’s fine commentary on 2 Corinthians)

So what does a minister do when things get rough? You depend on God’s comfort.

* God’s comfort will keep you focused on your hope.

* God’s comfort will give you stamina.

* God’s comfort will give you courage.

* God’s comfort will give you backbone.

Ministry can be hard - very hard. Yet, God is faithful and will see us through. God will give us his comfort.

Etcetera (Viewing, Listening, Reading)

* Adam Grant interviews James Clear (author of Atomic Habits) on his podcast “Work Life.” This is an excellent interview!

* See this episode from Russell Moore’s podcast entitled “Russell’s Desert Island Bookshelf.” A wonderful way to get acquainted with some very good books.

* Ray Ortlund has written a very helpful little study guide on the Psalms. I am using the book, Psalms: Real Help for Real Life each morning in July. (The video resource that comes with this is excellent as well.)

* I am reading Robert A. Caro’s book, Working: Researching, Interviewing, Writing. I have long been fascinated by how people work.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee.

Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

The List of Five

The Key to Living a Beautiful Life

On occasion, I have been with a Christ-follower who leaves me thinking, “I want to be like this person!” At other times, an entire community of Christ-followers has left me inspired and encouraged. The gospel-centered life displays a beauty that is compelling.

I appreciate the following words written by Biola University President, Barry H. Corey (“The Ethos of Biola as a Confessionally Centered University” April 20, 2018).

Holding to our center with resolve does not mean we area harsher or meaner or more competitive. Quite the opposite. Holding firmly to our center frees us to be more loving and generous as we share in the glorious wholeness of a gospel-centered life.

I am not saying that by being centered we have no boundaries. We do. By boundaries, I mean we have clear theological perimeters. These doctrinal statements are our boundaries, but our well is God’s Word, or Christ as God’s Word made flesh. . . . We should be here because within our boundaries we love the beautiful vision for life our center calls us to.

I was in my twenties, serving as a minister for a small church in middle Tennessee. We had no church building but instead leased a former convenience store on the edge of town. On a good Sunday, we might have 70 people. I was a young man, a young husband, and a young minister with so much to learn.

Yet, in this little church, I did learn that Jesus could redeem the brokenness in our lives. There were sweet moments when I saw some of these people display a certain beauty, living in ways that reflected love and generosity to others. There were also moments when we seemed to display our unredeemed brokenness. Those occasions were not pretty and could be such an unpleasant sight.

Only Jesus can make us into a people who display a gospel-centered beauty. Corey reminds us of the importance of the “center” of the Gospel. In fact, holding to this center actually frees us to be more loving and generous as we engage one another in the world.

We are called to hold to the very center of our faith, Jesus, who died, was buried and rose again. This center will stand the test of time. As we cling to the center, we are called to live out our faith before the world.

Today, as you and I begin our day:

* May we hold to the center, and have the clarity to see where we are enslaved to our flesh, captivated by an idol, or seduced by the world. Know that these enslavements will bring us down (Romans 6:17).

* May we become more loving and generous with others.

* May we drink deep from the “well.” May we believe that only Jesus will give us life and quench our thirst (Ps. 143:6 and 145:16).

Don’t Listen to These Internal Voices

Sometimes, we listen to the wrong internal voices. These voices can fill your mind with doubt, anxiety, and confusion. You may repeat internally, again and again, what was said to you years ago.

Consider some of the following voices from within:

* “I am not attractive enough. My husband has made some very critical remarks about my body and appearance. I can’t get his words out of my mind.”

* “If only I had been given a few breaks like my friend, I would have a much more fulfilling life. I guess I am doomed to never really experiencing joy.”

* “I probably can’t do it. I have trouble following through. I’m not very smart. I don’t learn new things very easily.”

* “I’m stupid. My ex-husband told me for years that I don’t get it. I guess there is something wrong with me.”

These voices can fill you with you with self-doubt and self-loathing. I think about the young wife and mother who looks beaten down and defeated. Her husband is highly impressed with himself even as he criticizes his wife, almost daily. In many ways he communicates that she just doesn’t measure up.

Meanwhile, hear these encouraging words from the one who knows our true value:

* You are dearly loved and cherished by God, now and for the rest of your life (Col. 3:12).

* You are valuable to God. You were just as valuable to him when you are a child as you are now. Your value has not diminished as you age.

* You are precious to God. Yes, right now.

3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. (1 Peter 3:3-4 - NLT)

You and I are worth far more than we might ever imagine. These internal voices do not reflect or determine our worth.

What counts is the value given to us by God.

The Daddy I Want to Be

We were on vacation and passing through Cherokee, North Carolina. Our two children were small and we had just stopped at a park to eat a picnic lunch. We were at a picnic table eating when we heard a loud commotion from across the park.

A man was standing at a picnic table where his family was seated. He was obviously upset and was screaming at one of the children. Everyone in the park seemed to freeze for a moment. Heads turned from the various tables toward this screaming daddy. I don’t know what happened. I don’t know why he was so upset with his child. I can only imagine how humiliating this moment might have been for this boy. I knew that I never wanted to be this kind of daddy.

Charlotte and I have two grown daughters.  We also have a terrific son-in-law who is more like a son to us.

I have learned much about being a daddy.  I have also become more aware that I still have much to learn.  

One of the most powerful ways a father impacts his children is through the way he treats his wife, their mother.  These impressionable children have a front row seat to witness how a Christian father values and cherishes their mother.

Yet, some boys and girls grow up seeing their daddy do the following:

* They hear their daddy talk to their mother in a way that is condescending and dismissive.

* They hear their daddy speak to their mother as if she lacked intelligence.

* They witness their daddy attempt use the children to manipulate their mother.

* They hear their daddy call their mother demeaning names.

* They see their daddy laugh as he makes fun of their mother.  He excuses his small, juvenile humor as “just joking.”

* They witness their daddy treat their mother as if she had little worth or value.

These behaviors are not Christ-honoring. They are not even manly.  These behaviors reveal a father who is actually very weak, insecure, and self-absorbed. Some of these men continue to be little boys in adult bodies. They are small and immature.

On the other hand, there are many, many men who are very serious about living as godly men before their spouses and children. They (along with their spouses) are a precious gift to their children.

With these daddies, children have the following rich experiences:

* They hear their daddy speak to their mother with tenderness and affection.  He obviously cherishes her.

* They see their daddy live as a servant toward their mother instead of being self-absorbed.  He obviously has a servant heart toward her.

* They see their daddy build up and affirm their mother.  He obviously looks for what is good in her.

* They overhear their daddy speak of their mother with great value.  He obviously esteems her.

This is the kind of daddy I want to be.  What about you? Whether a dad or mom, we have a rich opportunity to make a kingdom difference.

Five Minutes of Pure Joy with Tim Keller (Especially for ministers and other church leaders)

Etcetera (Watching and Reading)

Don’t miss this wonderful video (2:33) which is a powerful reminder of the importance of appreciation. It could be that someone near you and me needs a good dose of appreciation

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee.

Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

The Friend Who Helps You Finish

I love this powerful story (CNN):

It’s an image that encapsulates the power of friendship through adversity: Kevin Sinfield, a legendary figure in the sport of rugby league, stops short of the finish line of a marathon to gather Rob Burrow, his friend and former teammate, into his arms.

The poignant moment came at the end of the inaugural Rob Burrow Leeds Marathon on Sunday and the pair received cheers from those spectating when they crossed the line together.

Burrow, who played for England and Leeds Rhinos alongside Sinfield, was diagnosed with the degenerative condition motor neuron disease (MND) in 2019.

Friendship matters. It really matters.

Yet, the importance of friendship is not about having particular friends who might enhance your sense of significance or importance.

Rather, a real friend can help you get across the finish line. A real friend can help you finish well.

What friend is helping you get across the finish line?

* Perhaps it is that friend who encourages you to keep going even when you feel like quitting.

* Perhaps it is that friend who reminds you of your value when your shortcomings and failures seem to linger in your mind.

* Perhaps it is that friend who comes alongside you when you feel overwhelmed by your job, your husband’s illness, or the disappointing behavior of one of your children.

* Perhaps it is that friend who continues to text, call, and suggest lunch or coffee. You may especially appreciate the friend who initiates such contact.

On the other hand, who are you helping to cross the finish line?

Who needs your friendship? Who needs your help, your encouragement, and your support? Who might you text or call today? What if you were to initiate a time for coffee or lunch with another person?

What if you were to take a small step today toward simply being a friend to another?

Three Questions for Reflection

What do you do?

My “day job” is with Harding School of Theology, a 65 year old seminary in Memphis, Tn. I serve as vice-president of the school (since January 2014) which means that my work is basically administrative.

In addition to this administrative work, I also spend a lot of time with ministers. (Previously, I spent many years serving in congregational ministry.) This can range from sharing a cup of coffee with someone to talk about life/ministry to a more formal role, such as a mentor or coach. This contact may be a late afternoon phone call, a Zoom conversation, or an in-person meeting. I also lead a mentoring group for ministers. I find great joy in supporting and encouraging ministers, other church leaders, and Christ-followers in general.

What are you learning?

Right now, I have three particular interests. Much of my reading and thinking revolves around these areas:

* I have a real interest in shepherding. I am not talking about pastor/elder roles in particular but rather the powerful, influential role one can have in the life of another person. How can a person pass on the best of what she or he has been learning?

* I have a strong interest in wisdom. What does it mean to grow in wisdom? How can a person finish strong and finish well? How can a person continue to be vibrant in his/her thinking, maintain a strong curiosity about the world/life, and have a relatively cheerful spirit. Contrast this to the person who stops learning, loses any sense of curiosity, and is a difficult, unpleasant person?

* I am also interested in learning how to be a more effective mentor and coach. (Technically, these are two different roles.) How can a person come alongside another and in some way help make that person better?

What brings you joy?

* As a Christ-follower, there is a sense in which I am experiencing joy through my relationship/experience with Christ. I have learned that experiencing this joy does not mean the elimination of pain, sorrow, or disappointment (Philippians 2:17). There is a joy that comes from the Spirit that can transcend these difficult emotions (Galatians 5:22-23).

* I also receive a certain kind of joy from everyday moments of life. Examples might include a vacation with my wife, being with our four grandchildren, the first cup of coffee in the morning, eating most anything that is cinnamon flavored, talking with a long-time friend by phone etc.

Recently, Charlotte and I met Dale and Dana Robinson for dinner. (Dale served as a minister for many years in Chicago, St. Louis, and Indianapolis.) We had not seen them in quite a long time. We were in graduate school (ACU) together and they were passing through Memphis. We spend several hours talking about life and ministry in a Memphis BBQ place. I experienced much joy from being with these friends.

How would you answer these questions? I would love to hear your response either by e-mail (jmartin9669@gmail.com) or by commenting on this post.

These Are the “Good Ol’ Days”

Someone said that regardless of age, people have a tendency to look back to earlier years and long for the “good ol’ days.” For some of us, our memories of those years might focus on happier or simpler times:

* The real music that happened long ago when I was in my twenties.

* The real life that happened when churches were full and the singing was robust.

* The real joy that happened when our children were young and innocent.

Of course there is nothing wrong with appreciating music, art, or travel that took place long ago. You and I may look back and joyfully relive the days when our children were young. Nothing is wrong with missing certain cultural aspects of life that might seem scarce or even non-existent at this point. Nostalgia has its place.

At the same time, we do live today. At this very moment, we may be creating the “good ol’ days” for our children and even grandchildren.

* Today, we can bring one another joy. You and I can offer a pleasant word to someone or a smile to a clerk in a store.

* Today, we can laugh and play with our children or grandchildren. We can even laugh at our own blunders and perhaps take ourselves less seriously.

* Today, we can learn. While at the gym this week, I watched part of a fascinating film, Wild Isles, with David Attenborough. This is a short film series that features animals, the sea, grasslands and ponds on the British Isles. I found great joy in watching the camera work as it focused on God’s creation.

Seth Godin went on to say in a recent interview with Tim Ferris:

Approaching it with a positive, energetic attitude probably will make your experience of the world better than girding yourself by being a pessimist and maybe getting what you’re hoping for. So I find myself coming back frequently, particularly in the last bunch of years when there’s been so much doom and gloom to this idea that we get to pick our attitude. And in fact, it’s the only thing each of us truly gets to pick.

There is much about life that you and I have no control over. However, perhaps we can make these present days the “good ol’ days” for our family and others whom we love.

Your wife may be ill. You may have financial problems. Perhaps you are disappointed in a few choices made by your daughter or son. Nevertheless, we can make the most of these days.

You and I can choose to trust God each day. We can choose to live with gratitude. We can choose to smile and savor even the smallest moment of joy.

Yesterday is gone but God is still present, active, and at work in our lives today. We bless others when we look for what is good, what is right, and what is joyful about today.

I suspect the end result will likely be even more gratitude.

Tim Keller: What We Can Learn (Especially for Ministers and Church Leaders)

Decades ago, a group of young ministers sat in a living room waiting for our meeting to begin. Our friend and mentor, Lynn Anderson, was leading a mentoring group. That day, he wanted us to hear the recording of a question and answer session that took place at a new church plant in New York City. The questions appeared to be from new Christians and non-Christians.

I remember being impressed with this minister’s response to each question. This New York City minister modeled something rich in this recording. He was:

* Even-handed. There was a certain humility in his answers.

* Gracious. He seemed so patient and kind to those who asked questions.

* Thoughtful. He referred to various writers and thinkers, both from long ago and more recent.

* Gospel-centered. He referred to Jesus and showed how he was connected to the question that had been asked.

Later I learned that the speaker was Tim Keller. Since then, for many years, I have read his books and listened to his messages, presentations, interviews, etc.

After his recent death (May 19, 2023), a number of people have spoken and written about his influence. See these two podcasts - “Remembering Tim Keller” (Christianity Today) and “Tim Keller’s Heavenly Hope”(Russell Moore). See below for more resources.

Etcetera (Listening and Reading)

* Regarding Tim Keller, his recent death and his ministry. See “Tim Keller Practiced the Grace that He Preached” (Christianity Today). Also see David Brook’s piece, “What Tim Keller Taught Me About Joy” (The New York Times). You might enjoy Michael Luo’s article, “The Far-Seeing Faith of Tim Keller” (The New Yorker). Daniel Silliman wrote “Died: Tim Keller, New York City Pastor Who Modeled Winsome Witness” (Christianity Today). Finally, see this obituary, “The Rev. Timothy Keller, Pioneering Manhattan Evangelist, Dies at 72” (The New York Times).

* I recently started reading (again) The Autobiography of George Muller. This is such and inspiring book as we watch Muller learn to trust God.

* I just finished Susan Neiman’s book, Why Grow Up?: Subversive Thoughts for an Infantile Age. The book is pretty dense and not the easiest read, but I did come away with a few nuggets.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee.

Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

When You Wonder if You Are Good Enough

Perhaps you, like me, have wondered about this at times. Am I enough as I attempt to be a parent to my two daughters?

Anne Lamott speaks of how eventually we have to let our children grow up:

They have to find their own ways and their own answers. You can’t run alongside your grown children with sunscreen and ChapStick on their hero’s journey. You have to release them. It’s disrespectful not to.

David Zahl, in his book Seculosity, suggests that this tendency on the part of parents may have more to do with our own issues.

The most overt, and probably most damaging expression of the secularity of parenting occurs when parents lean on their children for their enoughness.

For some, a child’s acceptance into an elite college may help the parents finally feel like they are enough. After all, “My child got into this particular college.” This may be the same parent who either hovers over them or attempts to bulldoze any obstacle that might be in their child’s path.

Of course, there are parents who refuse to hover or bulldoze. They understand that a child’s failure can actually help develop resilience. Yes, it is tough to see your child strike out in the game. It is even tougher when your child seems to be in a batting slump and strikes out again and again.

Yet, this child may be learning resilience in the process. She may learn that she isn’t fragile and can do hard things.

We parents, in our insecurity, often worry. We may worry, not so much about our child, but what other parents might think about us. What if they think that in some way we do not measure up as parents? Perhaps the even deeper fear, David Zahl suggests, is that others might think we don’t measure up as people.

The truth is, you have no control over what another person might think of you. In fact, a parent may eventually learn that all of the hovering and bulldozing really doesn’t work:

* Your children are not more likely to turn out right if you are tense, stressed, and stay on them all the time.

* Your children are not more likely to turn out right if you spend your time and energy comparing yourself to the parenting of others.

* Your children are not more likely to turn out right if you are the “perfect” parent. We may be committed to our children but there are no perfect parents.

Rather, the best thing we can do is to rest in Christ and fiercely love our children. The good news is that we are enough in Christ and this does not depend on how our children might turn out.

God loves you deeply even though there are days when you fall short as a parent. Your enoughness is not based on whether or not you function well as a parent today. It is based on God’s love.

Your enoughness as a parent is a gift from God through Jesus Christ. You ARE enough.

How Did I Become Me?

Two stories.

First, I remember one particular evening at the United Parcel Service hub in Dallas. A group of us were about to begin loading delivery trucks in preparation for delivery the next day. Before the shift began, an executive who had just moved from New Jersey wanted to meet with our group. He was well dressed, in his mid-forties, and very articulate. At one point, I said something to him that came out wrong. He said nothing but looked at me for a few moments. I felt embarrassed and all of my old insecurities seemed to bubble up in that moment.

Second, I recall sitting at my in-law’s dining room table in Florence, Alabama. I was reading about various seminaries, trying to decide where I might go to school. My father-in-law walked into the room. He looked me in the eye and said he was confident that I was capable of doing most anything. His genuine expression of confidence took me aback.

Both of these events are a part of my story.

If you were to describe how you become you, what would you say?

For example:

* How did you become so tender-hearted? Did you grow up with tender-hearted, compassionate parents? Or, did the Lord have to soften a very hard heart over time?

* How did you become so cynical? Were you hurt and disappointed by someone you trusted and loved deeply? Was this a “Christian” person? Was this a church leader who spoke one way behind a live microphone on Sunday morning but then was curt, rude, and a bully in an elders’ meeting?

* How did you become so loving? Was this self-giving love modeled for you at home? Did your mom or dad show you again and again what it means to demonstrate a fierce love for you?

* How did you become so insecure? Did someone in your early years laugh, mock, or belittle you? Were you told that you just don’t measure up?

I have been thinking about the question: “How did I become me?” While I had particular influences, my life cannot be summed up in blaming others. Nor, do I want to naively think that somehow I am self-made.

How did I become me?

* My past sins, immature choices, selfish endeavors were factors - I look back at my life and can see many choices I regret. I am thankful that God in his grace accepted my repentance and washed away my sins with his abundant forgiveness.

* Wonderful, godly women and men helped shape me - My mother/dad as well as Charlotte’s parents were important. Friends like Steve Codara, Doug Kirkland, Bill Petty, and many others came alongside me. Mentors helped shape me. There were people such as Lynn Anderson, Charles Coil, and Ken Dye. When we lived in Waco, I would periodically drive to Ft. Worth to have lunch with attorney and former minister, John Allen Chalk. We talked about life and ministry. All of these people made me better because of their encouragement.

* God’s saving grace has forgiven me and continues to shape me - I became me through the work of God in my life. Not only has he forgiven me but he continues to make me into the person he has called me to be. God has redeemed my brokenness and has given me the very life of Jesus. This has made such a difference in my marriage and in my life as a parent.

What about you? How did you become you?

Four Reasons You Can Be Encouraged Today

Yet I still belong to you;    you hold my right hand.24 You guide me with your counsel,    leading me to a glorious destiny.25 Whom have I in heaven but you?    I desire you more than anything on earth.26 My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,    but God remains the strength of my heart;    he is mine forever. (Ps. 73:23-26)

God gives you security.  “You hold me by my right hand.”  The world calls you to place your security in your financial investments, your youth, your physical beauty, or your job title. Yet, you and I can actually find our security with God. He holds your hand and will not abandon you.

Consider those times when, like me, you’ve awakened at 3:00 AM, full of anxiety.  “Oh my goodness, what am I going to do about _____?”  Yet, God is present with you.

God gives you direction.  “You guide me with your counsel.”  God will give you guidance, direction, and wisdom.  It is not up to you to figure out life on your own.  God is with you.

God gives you destiny.  “... leading me to a glorious destiny.”  No matter what you might experience in this life, ultimately things are going to be all right.  There will be resurrection and a new tomorrow.  When it seems like there are no options, remember that you have a destiny that is a gift of God.

God gives you strength.  “God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.” You may become discouraged and disheartened.  You may be overwhelmed by all of the obstacles you are facing.  But God will give you strength to navigate through the hard days and nights.

Do you need to hear this today? I do.

You Can Take a Step Forward in Your Leadership (Especially for Ministers and Church Leaders)

A group of people (perhaps ministers and/or elders) meet together.

They are discussing a particular project. Some have deeply held opinions and emotions. At some point, the meeting seems to go off the rails. A few tempers flare. Someone makes a cutting remark insinuating that a minister’s motive is impure. This person continues to speak while the others in the room remain quiet. No one seems to have this minister’s back. It is a pretty awful experience.

Yet, such meetings could be quite different. A few questions seem important:

* Is it possible for those of us who serve as ministers/elders to bring a less anxious presence into most any gathering? I don’t mean a “less anxious presence” as a technique to use with people. Rather, this is an authentic way of being present and not allowing your anxiety or the anxiety of others to govern your behavior.

* How do we cultivate the real spirit of leadership? How can those of us in churches encourage others to lead instead of discouraging them from leading?

* What do we do when our own brokenness seems to get in the way? Often, this brokenness is displayed in the works of the flesh. You begin to see in ministers/elders such things as, “. . . hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division. . .” (Galatians 5:20). Yet, far too often there is no repentance of these behaviors. Instead some make excuses (“That’s just the way he is”) or they remain silent about the misbehavior, not even acknowledging that what was just experienced was wrong and not of God.

* How can we allow the fruit of the Spirit to thrive in our leadership? Can others be in our presence and sense God’s presence? Does the fruit of the Spirit seem to permeate our conversations? “. . . love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control . . .” (Galatians 5:22).

Many ministers/church leaders are good people who display the fruit of the Spirit in their leadership. Yet, others have diminished their credibility and influence by allowing their brokenness to run rampant, damaging individuals and relationships.

As a result, others may not remember the redeemed self of a particular minister (or elder). Instead, they may remember how they were manipulated, hurt, and disillusioned by that person’s own brokenness.

So where do you begin as a minister? Begin with yourself.

* Are you allowing other godly people to mentor or shepherd you?

* Are you accountable to a group of believers who will help you in your spiritual journey?

* Are you bringing your redeemed self to your minister group or elder group? Are you being fully present with others in full surrender to what the Spirit wishes to do in your life?

Etcetera - Listening and Reading

* I have been reading Philip Yancey’s excellent memoir, Where the Light Fell. This is a wonderful memoir!

* This week, I have also been reading David Zahn’s very fine book, Seculosity: How Career, Parenting, Technology, Food, Politics, and Romance Became Our New Religion and What to do About It.

* An interesting article by Surgeon General Vivek H. Murthy on loneliness - “We Have Become a Lonely Nation. It’s Time to Fix That.” I found his own transparency regarding this very interesting.

* I like this Tim Keller quote:

The mark of the godly man is he likes to change. The mark of the godly man is he says, 'Lord, show me where I should change, and I'll do it. Show me where I should obey, even where it's hard, and I'll do it. (June 4, 2015)

* Recently, I have been listening again to many of Gordon Lightfoot’s songs that I first heard in the 1970s. Canadian Singer/songwriter Gordon Lightfoot passed away on May 1, 2023. Lightfoot sang hits such as Canadian Railroad Trilogy and The Wreck of Edmund Fitzgerald. Bob Dylan referred to Lightfoot as the “greatest living song writer.”

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee.

Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

“I Can’t Believe You Dropped the Ball”

It was a Thursday, about 7:00 PM in the evening. I had just watched my 6th grade grandson play a baseball game. It took place at a baseball complex in which a number of games were played at the same time.

After the game, I began walking to my car. Ahead of me was a boy, maybe ten years old, and his dad. He was in his baseball uniform and apparently his game too had just ended. As I came closer to the boy and his dad, I overheard their conversation.

The father said, “I can’t you believe you dropped the ball!”

The boy groaned, dropped his head, and burst into tears. “Dad, why do you have to be so critical?”

I ached for this boy. In this moment, he needed reassurance and encouragement. He had apparently dropped a ball in front of everyone. Yet, this was a moment for a hug from his dad not a reminder that he had failed. Instead, his dad emphasized the boy’s mistake.

“I can’t believe you dropped the ball.”

You and I make mistakes. We blunder, communicate poorly, miss the deadline, under perform, etc. I recall “dropping the ball” so many times in school.

* I took the test and didn’t do very well.

* I raised my hand to answer the question but gave the wrong answer.

* I was supposed to run a particular route in football practice and went the wrong way.

Again and again, I have dropped the ball.

Yet, I have continued to do this as an adult. I’ve said the wrong thing to my wife, my children, and others. At times, I thought I had things under control only to drop the ball again.

Contrast this to what I recently experienced. I was invited by my third grade grandson, Lincoln, to accompany him to the All Pro Dads breakfast at his school early one morning. At this breakfast, each dad stood before the entire group and expressed to his son or daughter (or grandchild) why he was proud of them. It was a powerful moment.

Thank God he does not greet us at the end of the day saying, “I can’t believe you dropped the ball.” Instead, our God forgives, cleanses, and washes us. No matter what, he loves and cherishes us.

If you’ve recently “dropped the ball” know that today is a new day. Our Father meets us after a hard day or week, not to remind us that once again we failed, but that he loves and cherishes us. He is with us.

When Your “Engine Light” is On

I was about 20 years old. I was on my way home from work at UPS (Dallas) and the “check engine” light came on in my car. I was on Stemmon’s Expressway (I-35) and it was late at night. I saw the warning light but decided to drive on. Foolishly, I drove all the way to my parents’ home.

By the time I arrived home, smoke was pouring out of the engine. There was a strong burning smell and I knew I was in trouble. A few days later, the mechanic in the shop gave me an estimated cost of repair. Because I kept driving, ignoring the warning light, this repair was going to cost even more.

Occasionally, as you and I attempt to navigate life, we may experience certain warnings. Consider some of these warning lights. They all point to the need to check the “engine.”

* You are on edge, irritable, and regularly snap at your spouse and children. At the same time, you act very different when you are at church. You tend to be kind, thoughtful, and gentle with others. Your spouse and children notice that you seem to change when you are around the people from church.

* You have withdrawn from others. Perhaps this includes your friends and even your spouse.

* You have lost your appetite for the Word of God. Perhaps you rarely read God’s Word or even pray. At the same time, you may wonder why you have such an inner hunger.

* You may find that the sin in your life has become common and really doesn’t bother your conscience anymore. It seems to be your normal.

You may be busy, on the go, and very stressed. So you press the accelerator and just stay busy. Yet, when you are dry and empty, quite often it is your soul that needs attention.

This may begin with simply paying attention to the warning lights in your life. Perhaps these words from Peter Scazzero might be helpful. The following are some warnings:

More Than a Bucket of Balls

You and I often have the opportunity to make such a tremendous difference in the lives of our children and grandchildren. You and I may even have the opportunity to make a difference with people who are outside our family.

The story below from CBS newscaster Steve Hartman is a reminder to take advantage of the opportunity for investment.

God is With You (Really) (Especially for Ministers and Other Church Leaders)

Many ministers know what it is to be afraid, to be hesitant, to feel inadequate, to wonder about the future, or to feel like an imposter. Are any of these familiar to you?

I have been reading Psalm 46 using The Paraclete Psalter (A Book of Daily Prayer). I love the following paragraph (p. 104):

Where God is, there is no reason to fear. And, since God is “with us” (v. 7) and within us, there is no place to fear. In just a few short verses, the psalmist effectively pulls the sharp teeth from all human anxiety. What real threat exist exists that is able to subdue the faith of those whose “refuge and strength” is God? “Be still, and know that I am God.”

To any minister who is reading these words:

* God is with you, release your fear to him.

* God is with you, give your anxiety to him.

* God is with you, claim his refuge and strength as your own.

Sometimes we may try to hold tightly to anything that feels safe, secure, and predictable. What God invites us to do is to open our eyes, release our grip, and trust that he will not walk away.

Easy? Not always. Powerful? Absolutely.

God is with you and me.

Etcetera: Reading and Listening

* Kate Bowler’s interview of John Swinton on “The Art of Presence” was excellent. Swinton is a mental health nurse and a practical

* Recently I heard an interview with Beth Moore on a podcast entitled The Whole Person Revolution. This particular episode is entitled, “The Joy of Friendship.” Very good. This is published by Comment Magazine.

* See Tim Keller’s excellent article, Lemonade on the Porch: The Gospel in a Post-Christendom Society. This piece (part 1) is about sharing the Gospel in the West.

* Some of you may enjoy the discussion between Mark Batterson and Cary Nieuwhof regarding Batterson’s writing process. See Nieuwhof’s podcast here.

* I am slowly reading N. T. Wright’s book The Day The Revolution Began: Reconsidering the Meaning of Jesus’s Crucifixion. I have actually had this book for several years, but am just now reading it.

Do you have a friend who might enjoy these Encouragement Notes? Why not share them with a friend? Just click on the button below.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee.

Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

“I’m Out of Next Times”

What do you do when there are no more “do-overs?”

Recently I listened to a conversation between Kate Bowler and NPR broadcaster, Mary Louise Kelly in which they discussed her memoir regarding raising children and trying to have a career. I then listened to an excellent interview with NPR broadcaster Scott Simon in which he interviews Mary Louise Kelly regarding the same memoir. In her book, Kelly discusses the challenge of anchoring the national news and managing a family with two sons.

She spoke of the tendency to think she will do differently next time. Kelly said she realized at one point that “I’m out of next times.”

I have been thinking about this phrase, “I’m out of next times.” Eventually, for you and me, there comes a time when “I’m out of next times.” There will be a time when there are no more do-overs.

I want to focus on the opportunity I have today, not what I hope I will do next time.

Today here are a few things I want to do:

* I want to send my child a note of encouragement.

* I want to tell my spouse that I love her.

* I want to communicate to a friend how important our friendship is to me.

* I want to say “yes” to an opportunity to serve.

What about you?

One day, you and I will run out of next times. We will run out of do-overs. However, today, we can take action. Today we do what is loving, right, and thoughtful.

What do you need to say or do, today?

Doing the right thing today may make all the difference in the world!

What is the Truest Thing About You?

For some the center of life may be one of the following:

* The center of life might be one’s work. This person may talk non-stop about successes, projects, deals, promotions, etc. without ever asking you or anyone else about your work or life. Maybe this person is enamored with her job title and the importance some might associate with it. Yet, long-time friends may wonder how this person became so arrogant and self-absorbed.

* The center of life could be a person’s body. This person may wrestle with the changes in the body that might come with age. Some may feel less like a complete man or woman with age and desperately try to turn back the clock. As this person turns 30, 40, 50, or even 60 years of age, the focus may be on what is lacking and deficient. The focus may be on what is sagging, larger, smaller, and has more wrinkles.

“What happened to my attractive self? My athletic self? My energetic self?” I remember well the woman who angrily approached me at church one Sunday morning and expressed a frustration. She then said, “Don’t you know I was young once?”

* The center of life could be a person’s social media presence. This person may post regularly focusing on a wonderful, attractive, successful life. Some of these posts almost seem to scream, “Look at me and my amazing life!” Meanwhile, close friends know this family is actually in turmoil.

* Finally, for some the center of life may be a person’s wounds. A person’s identity may be shaped around a divorce, the bad behavior of a son/daughter, a bankruptcy, or the failure of a business venture. For some, conversations may seem to always return to one’s wounds. Are these real and even devastating? Absolutely. Yet, our wounds do not have to become the center of who we are.

For years, I thought I was one step away from being happy and fulfilled. If only I could have that one thing I seemed to be lacking. I remember graduating with my Doctor of Ministry degree. Still feeling dissatisfaction, I told my wife, Charlotte, a few days later that I might look into law school. She looked at me as if I had lost my mind.

I remember her response:

“When are we going to finally be happy?” she said. (“We” meant me.)

I was looking everywhere for happiness except the one thing that could make me whole. I needed to focus on my reconciliation to God through Jesus. He was redeeming me in all of my broken places. Only he could quench my thirst for fulfillment.

Basically, what is at the very center of my life is this conviction:

Jesus loves me, this I know.

When this conviction is the truest thing about me, it cannot be lost, diminished or taken away. You may be aging and you see your body diminishing. You may wrestle with a heart issue or cancer. You may even have a husband or wife walk away from you.

Yet, at the center of your life and mine, Jesus promises, “I will never leave you or forsake you.”

Today, know that your worth and value are found in him, not in academic degrees, fancy job titles, or your financial worth.

At the center of your existence, know that you are just right. And by the power of the Spirit, you and I can love God and others in a way that is also just right.

This is good news!

Becoming the Parent Your Child Needs

The following are a few suggestions for preparing yourself to serve your children as their parents. Your children may be small or they may be adults with mortgages. You never stop being a parent. Note the following:

* Pay attention to the conversations of your children. Good parents are intentional listeners. As you drive your child and her friends to the ball game, notice what they are they talking about. What seems to matter to them? 

* Minister to your children from the inner person. Far too many parents almost rely solely on activities, projects, and experiences. Yet, at the core of what it means to be a parent, your children need a mother/dad who is on a serious pursuit to become more Christ-like.

* Fill up your tank! Be devoted to daily prayer. Pray for your children each day. Read the Scriptures every day. You and I desperately need the wisdom and Spirit filled words that are found in Scripture.

* Model lived wisdom before your children. These children may be involved in youth group activities. Yet, what is especially critical is that they see real wisdom modeled by their parents. I heard a twelve year old boy say regarding his dad, “I look at the way he makes decisions in his own life. He really wants to please God. This shapes his decisions.”

* Live in the face of death.  You model what it means to live between your baptism and your death. What do others remember when they hear you tell your story?

My Texas friend Larry said it well the other day. Recently, he was in a small group where various members of the group had known one another 30-40 years. In this group they told their stories. He said that it never fails that after someone has told their story that someone else says, “I never knew that.”

When we are raising our children, there will be much that goes on in life that our children may not be fully aware of until years later. You may hear them say, “I never knew that.”

Yet, they can know this:

* My mom/dad began every morning praying for me and reading the Bible.

* My mom/dad wanted me to love God and serve him above everything else.

* My mom/dad showed me what it looks like to be a woman/man who deeply loves God and has kingdom values.

We All Need a Shepherd (Especially for Ministers and Other Church Leaders)

It rained hard that night as I drove from Pulaski, Tn. to Columbia, Tn. on U.S. Route 31. I was on my to the hospital to be with a young woman and her family as she was dying of cancer. She was not expected to live through the night. I was 26, near her age, and was preaching for a small church in Pulaski.

As I got off the elevator, I learned that she had just died in her room. I waited in a nearby waiting room with much of the family. Finally a nurse approached me and asked if I was their minister. She then said, “You probably want to take them to the chapel.” She gathered the family and asked them to join me in the chapel.

I waited outside the door of the small chapel while it filled up with family members. I had no idea what I was supposed to do or say at this point. I was scared to death.

Inside the chapel, I saw a large, open Bible on a stand. I picked up the Bible and saw that it was open to the 23rd Psalm. I read the Psalm aloud to the group, prayed, and hugged members of the family. After having decades to think about this, I might do the same thing again.

Yet, it is not just family members who have just lost a 26 year old daughter and sister to cancer who need to hear the words of this Psalm. Ministers and other church leaders need to hear these words as well.

“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want” — This wonderful God is a shepherd to ever minister and every church leader. He makes sure you have what you need.

Shepherding/ministry is not about your limitations meeting the hard problems of the “sheep.” 

Rather, shepherding/ministry is God’s inexhaustible abundance meeting the unending, hard problems of the sheep.  God’s abundance allows you to pay attention, serve, and move on, trusting that God is at work in their lives - and yours.

“The Lord is my shepherd” - He leads us to green pastures and provides the water we need.

“He refreshes my soul” - You and I can trust in him. This wonderful shepherd is not wondering why we have not done more. He is not making demands that we complete more on our “to do” list. This shepherd is our provider who is sustaining us, refreshing us, and providing what we need. “He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart . . .” (Isa. 40:11).

Before you as a minister or church leader can minister or shepherd others, you are called to allow yourself to be loved, held, and shepherded by the good shepherd himself.

The Lord is my shepherd!

Etcetera (Listening and Reading)

* I recently listened to a very good podcast in which Russell Moore interviews Christopher Watkins regarding his new book, Biblical Critical Theory: How the Bible's Unfolding Story Makes Sense of Modern Life and Culture. (Thanks Eric Gentry for making me aware of this book.) I found this discussion very interesting. Also you might enjoy, Elves, Boomers, and Influencers: What We’re Reading, again from Russell Moore.

* I have been reading Phillip Yancey’s wonderful memoir, Where the Light Fell: A Memoir. Yancey has been one of my favorite authors for many years.

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

The List of Five

Are You Willing to Ask?

“May I ask your advice regarding a problem?”

For some, asking this question may be very difficult. Simply asking this question to another might cause some of us to feel vulnerable and exposed. Old insecurities may get in the way.

Many of us are willing to help others. However, some of us may be reluctant to ask for help. It often takes a genuine humility to ask another for help or advice.

Jerod Mayo is a former NFL player (New England Patriots), a former executive with United Health Group, and presently an assistant coach with the Patriots.

Recently I read an article in Forbes, written by Gautam Mukunda, a research fellow at the Center for Public Leadership at Harvard Kennedy School. He writes about Jerod Mayo and his willingness to grow and learn by asking for advice:

Jerod finds it easy to acquire extraordinary mentors – from Bill Belichick to hedge fund titan Seth Klarman. Why? He’s willing to do something most people aren’t – go up to them and ask for advice. Even though research suggests that asking for advice is one of the most effective ways to build a relationship, most people are reluctant to do it. It makes them feel vulnerable and weak. It makes them, in other words, uncomfortable. And they don’t have the discipline to overcome that discomfort.

Am I willing to ask for advice? Or, does my self-consciousness keep me from asking for help?

Yet, by refusing to put myself in a place where I am vulnerable and uncomfortable, I may be standing in the way of my growth.

Consider the following from a podcast interview Mayo did on World Reimagined:

We all start as rookies but not all of us become champions, and what differentiates the two? It may be the desire to never stop learning, and never stop leveling up. Am I willing to do this even though it might make me feel uncomfortable?

So what questions are you asking at this point in your life? Here are a few questions I have asked others:

* How do you grow in wisdom as you age? What has been most helpful to you as you seek to grow in wisdom instead of merely getting older?

* How do you know what or who to invest in, instead of just accumulating more interests, experiences, and tidbits of information?

* What is it that my children (and grandchildren) most need from me?

You probably have other questions which you are pondering. Think about five people whom you know. What is the question you would like to ask each person? How might that person’s answer or reflection help you in some way?

Do You Elevate Others?

"It’s easier to be better when we are around you."

These words were spoken by New York Times columnist David Brooks to Judy Woodruff after she anchored the PBS nightly news for the last time, on December 30, after 25 years.

"It’s easier to be better when we are around you." What a significant tribute!

As I reflect upon my own life, I would like to think it is easier for others to be better when they are around me. I desire the following:

* I want to be a gracious person, building another up instead of tearing that person down.

* I want to be a person who is fully present in my conversations. I don’t want to have a conversation and the person leave the room remembering that I was constantly looking at my phone.

* I want to leave my ego at the door. I would like to be unassuming and without pretension. Perhaps you, like me, have had conversations with others who talk non-stop about themselves, their projects, their opinions, etc. without ever asking a single question. In my best moments, I hope that I focus on the value of the person I am with.

“If I Couldn’t Handle Not Being Good at Something . . . “

I love the following quote from Gerald Hodges, a former high school student at Arlington (Texas) Seguin High School:

If I couldn’t handle not being good at something then how could I consider myself a successful person?

He said this explaining to Steve Hartman of CBS why he joined his high school swim team, even though he didn’t know how to swim. See the video below:

This is such a good reminder!

Pay Attention to These Four Basics (Especially for Ministers and Other Church Leaders)

I knocked on the door to the motel room. The door led to the outside. It was mid-morning.

I was there to pick up a guest preacher who had been preaching at a nearby church over the weekend. The previous evening, I met him at this church. I explained that I was a young minister just starting out and would value the opportunity to spend time with him over coffee. I wanted to ask this experienced, older minister a few questions regarding ministry.

The door opened and my acquaintance stood at the door with one hand holding a handkerchief, covering one eye. As I stood in the doorway, he removed his hand and the handkerchief from the eye he had been covering.

“Excuse me, but would you mind looking into my eye to see if you see anything that might cause it to be so irritated?” I looked carefully, thinking he must have a sliver of something lodged in his eye causing this irritation. However, I saw nothing.

He went back inside his room, washed his eye with eye drops and experienced almost immediate relief. We then went to a coffee shop and talked for about an hour.

Before we had conversation, we had to deal with the basics. The man had something in his eye and that needed to be addressed.

You and I may wish to talk with the elders or others in the congregation about our ideas, our theology, our proposals, etc. However, we have to be attentive to the basics first. These basics are a bare minimum. Ignore these and congregational ministry will probably be more difficult. The following are four basics regarding life and ministry:

* Follow through. If you tell the elders that you will take care of a situation, do it. Follow through on what you say you will do.

* Respond to communication. When others call you, text you, or e-mail you, it is critical that you respond. You can lose credibility and good will quickly by ignoring texts, e-mails, and phone calls from those within your church.

* Be easy to get along with. Don’t be the person who has the reputation for being overly-sensitive, prickly, and difficult. As much as it is in your control, get along with others.

* Show a genuine interest in others, regardless of their age, education, etc. Make a serious attempt to learn the names of people within your congregation. Show an interest in what matters to them. Ask about the soccer game, the art lessons, the band concert, etc. Your genuine interest makes a difference.

Etcetera: Listening and Reading

* For more information about Jerod Mayo see “He’s Bill Belichick 2.0’: Could Jerod Mayo become the next Patriots coach?” in The Athletic, March 2023. (Chad Graff). Also see Gautam Mukunda’s excellent interview on World Reimagined (podcast).

* I listened to Adam Grant’s interview on Rethinking with incoming Dartmouth President, Sian Beilock. See “The science of performing under pressure with Sian Beilock.”

* Recently listened to David Allen’s interview with Daniel Levitin author of The Organized Mind. At the end of the podcast, he talks about the importance of “self-management.” Some resist structure in their lives but is self-management structure that can give us freedom.

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

(The “Quiet House,” — Laity Lodge)

The List of Five

Take Care of the Soul

Someone told me the “Quiet House” was remote. It certainly was! I neither saw or heard another person from the time I checked in until I checked out a few days later.

The Quiet House is owned by Laity Lodge, located deep in the Texas Hill Country, on the banks of the Frio River. The small house is surrounded by the trees and foliage common to that area. Each morning, I was greeted by deer, standing about a dozen yards from the front door.

The surroundings were beautiful and quiet. It was very quiet.

I felt very restless at first. I immediately began to second guess my decision to be there. Perhaps some of this restlessness was due, in part, to the pace at which I was living. After all, I was a minister - busy and often feeling behind. Now, I was experiencing a few days of solitude. Only later would I realize how important this solitude was for my mind and soul.

Soon, I began to enjoy the quiet stillness of the surroundings. I took hikes, watched deer, and read. I wrote in my journal.

There were two books I read and pondered. I finished reading Ian Cron’s book, Jesus, My Father, The CIA, and Me. The other book I read was Matt Murray’s, The Father and The Son: My Father’s Journey into the Monastic Life. I found this on a small bookshelf in the Quiet House. Each one of these books was helpful as I was trying to get more clarity on my relationship with my dad.

I am grateful for these few days.

This time helped me realize how much I needed to care for my soul. Rather than moving from one active moment to the next, I needed time where I was still and silent before God.

Today, the early morning hours are an important time in which I care for my soul. Before I focus on the activity of the day and my to-do list, I want to consider my life before God.

Yet, there are days when the early morning hours are particularly challenging. There are days when it is hard for me to start the day focused on God. There are other days when this seems easier.

The most important thing for me you and me is to simply start. Start praying. Start reading a passage of Scripture. Start pondering a thought about God.

At the very least, you and I can start.

Some Hear You and Others Really Listen

Not long ago, I read a very good article about NFL quarterback Jalen Hurts and his willingness to grow and learn. (The article is by Bruce Feldman in The Athletic “What Jalen Hurts has shown for years that sets him apart from his peers.”) In the article, Feldman refers to a quote from Hurts back when he was still a player at Oklahoma:

“Some people hear you, and some people listen. I listen and I apply it to my learning. I pull from different people, and that makes me better and that makes me wise. You’d think I’m the only person that’s ever played for Coach Saban by how I act. Maybe I’m just one that listened. I learned and I added more to my repertoire, and now I’m here at Oklahoma learning all these different things from Coach Riley, far more as a player but also as a person. The story is far from over.”

I love this line: “Some people hear you and some people listen.”

Some people hear you. They look around while you talk. They look at their phone. You may have the sense that this person is not fully present.

Then there are those who really listen. They are present and engaged. In the conversation, you feel as if this person was fully present.

I also like this line from Hurts. “I listen and I apply it to my learning.” This is helpful. Do I listen to another and then apply this to what I am in the process of learning?

*One practice that has helped me in listening is to show up prepared to write something down. Often, I will use the Notes app on my phone to make notes. On other occasions, I will show up with an ink pen and notebook. As I write this, I am looking at three pages of notes from conversations, readings, etc.

Give Your Kids a Precious Gift

Most parents I know really love and are devoted to their children.

Yet, sometimes fear can get the best of us as parents. We can fear that our kids are not experiencing a life that is comparable to their friends. Children may come home from school and talk about what their friends did on Spring Break. “They went on an amazing vacation!” You and your family went nowhere. Should we have planned a trip?

Or, kids may talk about other parents and how amazing they are. “They gave their kids a phone a long time ago, mom!”

As a parent you can become anxious. You may wonder, “Is my child missing out on what is fun? Is my child not experiencing the best life?”

Before you know it, you begin to spend money you don’t have in an attempt to create a better life for your children.

Yet, if you want to give your kids something really valuable consider the following:

1. Give your kids a dad and mom who respects their spouse - both in private and in public. What a valuable gift!

2. Give your kids a dad and mom who prays for them. If you are not praying for them, who is?

3. Give your kids a dad and mom who seek God above all else in life.

4. Give your kids a dad and mom whose example is worthy of imitation, instead of someone whose example they are having to overcome.

5. Give your kids a dad and mom who are more concerned about character and an having a godly influence than the appearance of success.

6. Give your kids a dad and mom whose life is genuine instead of deceptive.

7. Give your kids a dad and mom who live as a faithful spouse to the other. There is no justification for cheating— ever.

The Emotional Expense of Ministry (Especially for Ministers and other Church Leaders)

Recently I heard Kate Bowler (Duke University) express the following:

We have a lot of people in this community who are called into very emotionally expensive professions. They’re teachers and social workers and health care workers.

There are certain professions that are emotionally expensive. My wife, Charlotte, taught public school (primarily lower grades) for many years. She is a certified reading specialist but has also taught a variety of grades in the classroom. This is important work, challenging work, and yes, “emotionally expensive” work. Any teacher who deeply cares about their children will learn that there is a tremendous amount of emotion required.

Anyone who dares to serve as a minister in a congregation will also find out that this work is emotionally expensive. Is it ever!

Ministry to and with a congregation often brings joy and satisfaction. However, it also brings heartache, disappointment, and tears. Many ministers speak of a loss of confidence, burnout, depression, and loneliness.

The funerals alone are emotionally expensive. My first funeral was for a 26 year old woman who died of cancer. (At the time, I was about the same age.) Then there were the funerals for babies, teenagers, young fathers, and young mothers. I have done funerals for those who died by suicide, car wrecks, cancer, etc. I have done funerals for strangers and for very close friends. Sometimes the death was expected. On other occasions, family and friends experienced the shock of unexpected and sudden death of a loved one.

What I have just described is not unusual for any minister who serves long enough. Again, this work is emotionally expensive for most any minister.

Self-care is important and even critical to being emotionally healthy. However, such care does not exempt a minister from the emotional rigor that often comes with dealing with human beings.

A few suggestions:

* Acknowledge the emotional rigor of particular seasons of ministry. Nothing is accomplished by denying the difficulty of a particular season. You do not exemplify strength by acting as if none of this really impacts you emotionally.

* Ministry is done is a “body.” Your body has to be cared for and given attention in order to best navigate these challenges. Know that ignoring the care of your body will ultimately lead you down a dead end street.

Etcetera (Listening and Reading)

* I recently read Ray Blount’s Elders at the Gate. This is an excellent book that gives a vision for growing and maturing as a shepherd, instead of just being content to grow older.

* Just listened to Beth Moore’s memoir, All My Knotted-Up Life. This is a very good book which captured my attention and thinking.

* I have been reading Paul Tripp’s excellent book Reactivity: How the Gospel Transforms Our Actions and Reactions. Could be helpful for anyone working with a congregation in this culture of outrage.

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

The List of Five

Sunday, BBQ, and an Ordinary Day

All Sunday morning, I had looked forward to eating BBQ for lunch. We pulled in front of the Underwood’s BBQ at 7828 Lake June Road in Dallas. This was the 60s.

Our family had just left church in Southeast Dallas. Yet, this was no ordinary Sunday for our family. Today, we were going out to eat.

Now this was rare for our family. But then, most families in our modest church didn’t go out to eat on Sunday. We were not poor but we had very little discretionary money. After all, we kids were going to a small Christian school nearby. (This would later become Dallas Christian School.) The tuition took most of my mother’s paycheck.

We went into Underwood’s BBQ and each got our trays, as this was cafeteria style. We were lined up, sliding our trays along the metal railing as we selected our food. My dad was first in line. My mother said to my sister, my brother, and me, “Everybody get water and no desert. We have desert at home.” My mother, who loved to cook, baked deserts several times a week. Yet, we were now walking by the strawberry shortcake, the lemon icebox pie, and the apple pie. I remember thinking, “Rich kids probably get desert every time they come here.”

This was many years ago. I have no idea how many BBQ joints and BBQ restaurants I have been to since then. Yet, this one place is etched into my memory.

Now think about today.

There may be nothing about today that makes it different from any other day. Yet, when God is at work, no day can be taken for granted. Who knows how God might use this seemingly ordinary day? After all, consider Psalm 118:24 (NLT):

This is the day the Lord has made.    We will rejoice and be glad in it.

The Lord has made this day. Will we steward (or manage) our day well? Will you and I honor God today?

* What if you were to be intentional today by sending an encouraging text to your grown children?

* What if you honored God by praying for someone who really needs your prayer today?

* What if you were to thank someone who has richly blessed your life?

It could be, that years later, some person will remember this as a significant day because of a blessing received from you. Even if they don’t remember this day, perhaps God will use you to work behind the scenes to do something that matters. What if the hand of God were to move favorably toward someone today because you prayed for them?

Let Us Learn to be Gracious

Charlotte, myself, and our two small girls were coming into town from vacation.

It was Sunday evening and our church was scheduled to have a meal that evening at the church building. Instead of immediately going home, we decided to stop by the church and join our friends for the remainder of the meal. Charlotte mentioned that we had nothing to bring. Typically when we had church dinners, we would bring enough food for our family and then some extra. I said something like, “It’s no big deal. Let’s just stop by for a few minutes.”

We walked into the room where everyone was finishing their meal. A lady looked at us, laughed, and then said in a loud voice, “Well here are the Martin’s and they haven’t brought any food.” I still remember what it feels like when someone chooses to not be gracious.

Today, if you decide to be gracious, you will have made an important decision about your day.

Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone (Colossians 4:3 -NLT)

Gracious people have a way of bringing beauty and joy to most any situation. I was around a gracious person recently and was reminded of this. He has a way of communicating warmth, value, and always seems genuinely glad to be in the presence of the one whom he is with.

Gracious people focus on the comfort and joy of another.

Gracious people put others at ease.

Gracious people have a way of looking for what is good and right.

Gracious people bring energy and life into a conversation or a process.

I could name some of the gracious people whom I have known. They have a way of making the day better. They have a way of making me better.

Of course there are people who are not gracious. They focus on their rights, getting their way, and taking as much as they can - even at the expense of others. Some have a heightened sense of self-importance. They will quickly tell you about their important job, role, career, etc. They are often focused on what they want and will say and do most anything to get it!

I want to thank God for every single gracious person he has brought into my life. I am better for knowing these people.

I do want to live as a gracious person, remembering that every person I encounter today has been created in the image of God.

Where do you begin?

* Be slow about calling attention to the blunder and mistake of another. Do I really need to highlight someone’s mistake for everyone to see? Is this particular blunder worth embarrassing or even humiliating another person?

A few years ago, Charlotte taught at an Orthodox Jewish school in Memphis. She taught students each afternoon, along with a number of other non-Jewish teachers. One day I went to the school to give Charlotte something she had forgotten. I said “hello” to her principal, who was standing in the hallway. I initiated a handshake. She shook my hand and smiled. Later, she laughed and told Charlotte that we had shaken hands in the hallway. Charlotte said, “I’m confused. As an Orthodox Jew, aren’t you supposed to refrain from shaking hands with someone who is not your husband?” The principal graciously replied, “Your husband didn’t know that. In our culture, it would have been far worse to embarrass him publicly.”

* Be deliberate about expressing gratitude to someone else (perhaps the clerk at Lowe’s; a trainee at Starbucks; a Bible school teacher at church, etc.) What about expressing gratitude to a spouse? What if I were to thank my parents or my children?

* Consider how you might defer to someone else’s wishes. For example, for lunch, why not go to the restaurant your friend prefers. This doesn’t mean you don’t express your preference if asked. However, if you sense your friend would really like to go to lunch at a particular place, why not go there and even be gracious about it?

Spiritual Mentoring Might Begin Here

Spiritual mentioning often begins with three key questions (Walter Wright, Mentoring, pp. 2-3)

* What is the most important thing in life to you? (Your Character)

* Projecting yourself to the end of your life, what do you want to be known for? (Your Legacy)

* At this stage of your journey, what do you need to learn next? (Your Present Life)

These are three very important questions. Consider the following:

* Your Character - What is the most important thing in life to you? Your external life, your practices, and your habits say so much about you and your character. Is your character aligned with your practices and daily life?

* Your Legacy - What are you going to be known for? What do you want to be known for? I know of a man who would like for others to perceive him as a good man. However, many people experience him as pompous, full of self-importance, and very self-centered. The question is, “Is your legacy going to be something you would be like to be known for?”

* Your Present Life - What do you need to learn next? This may mean you need to put your phone and social media habits aside. Instead, consider the next step you need to take in order to become the kind of person you want to be.

Seek Maturity in Your Relationships (Especially for ministers and other church leaders)

Not long ago, I heard my friend, Dr. Evertt Huffard, speak on the importance of ministers/church leaders being people who can get along with others. Some ministers may have a good education and ministry skills which can be very helpful. Yet, getting along with others is critical.

In a congregation, a minister can allow immaturity to really get in the way of healthy functioning. Our immaturity can interfere with our ministry.

Immature behaviors include:

* Reacting instead of responding. Some ministers impulsively react out of raw emotion instead of thinking through the best way to respond to a particular situation.

* Manipulating others instead of respecting the congregation enough to work through things together. Manipulation shows up when a minister or church leader lives by the adage, “It’s easier to get forgiveness than permission.”

* Blaming others when things go wrong instead of taking responsibility. There are ministers and elders who find it very difficult to say, “I was wrong” or “I handled this situation poorly.”

* Sabotaging someone with whom you differ instead of being upfront and honest. A meeting is scheduled in which an elder is going to propose a project that is very important to him. Suppose the immature minister or elder, before the meeting, approaches the other ministers/elders, one-by-one, in an attempt to sabotage this process. Is this what we wish to model before the church?

One of the best things ministers and other church leaders can do for a congregation is to model what it means to seek maturity in Christ. That maturity ought to be reflected in the way we treat people.

Etcetera: Listening and Reading

* I have been enjoying Malcolm Guite’s reflections on the Psalms. See David’s Crown.

* One of the newsletters I enjoy is Liam Byrnes’ —The Lectio Letter.

* I listened to Kate Bowler’s interview with Beth Moore and really enjoyed this. Much of the discussion dealt with Moores’ new memoir.

* I continue to read Collin Hansen’s wonderful book Timothy Keller: His Spiritual and Intellectual Formation. Such a great book!

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

The List of Five

Tremble With Gratitude

There are precious moments when a family is together and they remember the stories that are important to them. Often these stories may be about family members who have died and yet the stories still live.

Wendall Berry wrote in his book, Leavings:

I tremble with gratitude

for my children and their children

who take pleasure in one another.

At our dinners together, the dead

enter and pass among us

in living love and in memory.

And so the young are taught.

Berry speaks of family dinners when those who have passed on are remembered. The stories may be funny or even inspiring. These stories may speak of a quality of a family member that we treasure.

Recently I’ve told stories about the following people:

* My dad Jim Martin (Lived in Dallas and passed away in December 2013)

* My grandmother, Iris Martin (Formerly taught at Harding Academy in Searcy, Ark.)

* Charlotte’s dad, Charles Coil (Longtime minister who lived in Florence, Ala.)

* My friend and mentor, Lynn Anderson (Founder of HopeNetwork Ministries)

* My friend Bill Petty (Longtime professor of finance at Baylor University)

Of the people whom I have just mentioned, only Bill Petty is still living. I am encouraged by telling stories about those who have invested in my life. As I tell these stories, my children and grandchildren hear what I really value.

Recently, our grandson Brody (age 12 and in the 6th grade) was baptized. This was a very special moment for him! It was also a special moment for me as well. This occurred on a Wednesday evening with several families present who have meant so much to him, his brother Lincoln, and his mother, Christine. In particular, I appreciated several men who have modeled, for Brody and Lincoln, what it means to be a godly man.

Consider a few people who have been significant in your own life. What is a story or encouraging moment that comes to mind as you think about those who have invested in you? What is a significant moment as you think about this person? Was it an encouraging or inspiring word or gesture?

Remembering and even telling some of these stories may even cause you to “tremble with gratitude.”

My Soul At Night

What do you think about during the evening or at night?

You may be in conversation with your children or your spouse. Perhaps you help your child with a project. Perhaps you watch television or read a book, and finally go to sleep. On other evenings, you may have a social engagement, a church meeting, or a school function.

Yet perhaps during the night you awaken and think. You worry about the challenges ahead. As your mind races ahead to the dreaded meeting, the upcoming doctor’s appointment, or the implications of your daughter’s decision, you ask “What if?” At night, fear can be so stark, vivid, and terrorizing.

At night:

* I can get lost in my memories of relationships in the past. Perhaps I focus on the people I deeply miss due to death, divorce, or simply time passing.

* I can get lost in my wounds, sins, and betrayals in the past. I can rehearse over and over my mistakes, my blunders and my failures. Or, I may relive again the hurtful words or action someone took toward my loved one.

* I can get lost as I imagine the future. I can think of nights when I sat in the empty theater of my mind imagining what awful things might happen in the future. The future can look uncertain at best and terrifying at its worst.

Yet, there is another way to navigate the night. Consider Psalm 63: 6-8:

On my bed I remember you;    I think of you through the watches of the night.Because you are my help,    I sing in the shadow of your wings.I cling to you;    your right hand upholds me.

I have found that I can think of God in the night. Some nights I have turned to this very Psalm and have focused my mind on God and his promises. He really is my help - and yours.

I don’t have to allow my fear, anxiety, and worry to take over and escalate my emotions. Instead, I can cling to God, remembering that my life is not about being sufficiently strong but in trusting his promises.

What is helpful to me in the night:

* I sometimes read the Psalms looking for words, phrases, etc. that describe the character and might of God.

* Recently I read passages that spoke about God doing the impossible.

* Sometimes, I will write in my journal. I focus on something good for which I am grateful.

* I can pray at night. Sometimes, I may not feel like praying but I have found that my prayers matter and remind me that I am dependent on him not myself.

Going Through the Motions

Do you ever just go through the motions? If you are like many of us, you may experience this at times. Your heart or mind doesn’t seem to be connected with your action. You perform the action but it may seem empty of any real meaning or purpose. Of course, I don’t want to spend my life just going through the motions.

Yet, it is possible that “going through the motions” can be a way to jump start a habit, practice, or even creativity.

Recently Austin Kleon wrote the following:

“Going through the motions” is often thought of as a bad thing, but it is the artist’s great secret for getting started.

As I wrote in Steal Like an Artist:

If we just start going through the motions, if we strum a guitar, or shuffle sticky notes around a conference table, or start kneading clay, the motion kickstarts our brain into thinking.

Get your pen moving, and something will come out. (It might be trash, but it will be something.)

Again, “going through the motions” may be a way jump start a habit, a practice, or even our creativity.

For example, you may not be motivated to read your Bible. Yet, what if you were to begin by first “going through the motions”? That is, what if the night before, you placed your Bible at the very spot where you normally drink your first cup of coffee. Perhaps you even place a bookmark at the passage you intend to read in the morning. You might plan to read a short/brief passage. These are beginning points. These are small steps that you are using to begin to make some progress. In the morning, begin to read your Bible, even if you don’t feel inspired or motivated to do so.

Sometimes we may wait too long for inspiration or motivation. When you begin your practice, your heart may not be in it. However, at least you have begun. You have made a start.

As a minister for a congregation, I went through a season when I did not feel motivated to visit church members who happened to be in the hospital. At times, I would put it off while waiting for the motivation. What helped was to at least write the task on my calendar. I would make the notation that I planned to visit a certain hospital at a particular time. This at least helped me get started. Of course, later on, I was typically delighted that I had visited that person.

What about you? What has helped you do the next right thing when you did not feel particularly motivated or inspired?

What Helps Us Continue (Especially for Ministers and Other Church Leaders - Part 2 of 2)

Not long ago, in preparation for a presentation at the annual HopeNetwork retreat, I talked with a number of ministers from across the country. I asked them what practices or habits have contributed to their decision to continue serving. In Encouragement Note #75, I mentioned several of these. The following are additional practices/habits these ministers mentioned.

Marriage/family

* One person spoke of his wife as a “chief encourager” during this time. Another said, “My marriage has been my saving grace.”

* One minister acknowledged the value of having a spouse who is experiencing some level of contentment in the congregation.

* Another minister spoke of the encouragement given by his mom, dad, and children. 

God/Jesus  

* One minister said, “I kept coming back to Jesus.” 

* Several spoke of going back to their calling and sense of vocation.  “I just have this sense that this is what I am supposed to do.”

* Another minister focused on the suffering of Jesus and now wants to be faithful in his ministry during a time in which he has suffered.  

* Still another minister did a lot of reading about Israel in exile and desired to be faithful at a time in which he too felt like an exile.   

* Finally, a minister said, “It helps to have a wholesome humility that relates to my ministry. This is God’s work (not my own).  I want to be faithful to these people as God is faithful.”

Focusing on What Gives Joy

* One minister began to focus and spend time doing the things in ministry that seemed to give great joy.  For example, this minister realized that he actually found great joy in the process of preparing the Sunday morning message.  

* One minister said that even though this had been a difficult time, “I still like what I do.”   

Late night readings - “Most of my anxiety and negative thinking comes at night.  There are certain books I keep by my bed to read when I begin to head in that direction.  These readings remind me that I am not alone and there is help.”  Another person spoke of subscribing to Audible books and listening to books completely unrelated to ministry. 

Sabbath - “I made sure I took a sabbath rest each week.  I don’t go to the office that day and I don’t mess with sermons.  I finally took a sabbatical after being at this church for a number of years.  This was so helpful, that I now look for ways to create “min-sabbaticals” during times like the Christmas holidays.”

Therapists, mentors, coaches, spiritual directors, etc. - I was impressed at the number of ministers who told me they had seen a therapist. Still others mentioned working with coaches, spiritual directors, and mentors.

Physical activity - Working out, walking, running etc.  One minister said, “My wife and I walk every day.”  One minister said that due to physical limitations he could no longer do the workouts he did at one time.  However, he does some exercises given to him by a physical therapist.  

Keep going file   

* “For a long time, I have kept a keep going file.  Every encouraging note, comment, letter that I receive goes in this file.”

* “I will write in my journal a happy thing that I enjoyed that particular week.” 

Choosing to love the congregation  One minister said that the preachers he knows who have stayed really love their churches.  He went on to say, “These preachers feel like they are supported and have a voice in the leadership.” 

Reading history and biographies - One minister spoke of investing a lot of time in readying history and biographies. This person said, “I began to realize that ministry has always been hard for a lot of people.”

Etcetera (Listening and Reading

* I have already mentioned this book but I am really enjoying Collin Hansen’s fine book, Timothy Keller: His Spiritual and Intellectual Formation. So interesting!

* Now this is interesting. Reasons why many parents across America are waiting until their children are at least in the eight grade before letting them have a smartphone. See Wait Until Eight.

* Poet Malcolm Guite in Church Times reflects upon his visit to America.

* Now this was interesting. “How 9 of the World's Most Innovative Schools Ignite Children's Love for Learning” (Medium, Dec. 17, 2022).

* I think I’ve mentioned this before but I really enjoy the journal Common Good. Most of the journals I read are online. However, I do subscribe to the print version of this. The theme of most recent issue is “Marriage, Children, Church, The Future.”

* I love this story!

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

Today is the Day to Care

I want the people who matter most to me to know that I care.

When we lived in Waco, Texas I received a call one day from a person who asked to meet with me, along with her spouse. They wanted to meet for counseling, to talk about the difficulties in their marriage. I met with this couple and they talked at length about what was unpleasant and dissatisfying. As they unpacked their grievances, they showed very little emotion. They did not seem particularly angry or distressed.

I met with this couple every other week for about three months. Each time, they would lodge another complaint toward the other and still there was almost no emotion expressed. Finally, one day something occurred to me.

They have stopped caring. Both had become apathetic toward one another. They had little emotion left and seemingly no will to change.

As I think about my own relationships today, I never want to stop caring. I want to care deeply! I care about my spouse. I care about my children and grandchildren. I care about my friends.

I may feel sad, perplexed, or frustrated at times in my relationships. Or, I may feel encouraged and fully loved at other times. However, I never want to become apathetic toward the people who matter most to me.

Perhaps the challenge is to consistently show these people by my words and behavior that I genuinely care.

Simon Sinek once said,

It doesn’t matter when we start.

It doesn’t matter where we start.

All that matters is that we start.

Today, think about your spouse, your children, and your friends. As you think about each of these people, consider the following:

* What person could use an encouraging text message from you today?

* What person needs to hear you invite them to lunch?

* What person needs to hear your voice on the phone speaking a few affirming words?

Maybe one of the best things you and I can do today is to again show someone through our words or behavior that we really care. What matters is that we start.

What Influences You?

So much that happens in this life is out of our control. At the same time, you and I can be intentional about what might influence us.

For example, consider the choices we make each day. We cannot control everything but we can be intentional about the following:

What will my input be? What will I feed my mind? I can choose to put into my mind God’s word, good thoughts, beauty, etc. I can think about what is good, right and just. I can focus on all for which I can be grateful. I can read good books, listen to music, and speak with those who tend to inspire and elevate. I can think about or tell stories that are inspiriting.

Or, I can spend much time reading negative, cynical remarks and comments on social media. I can regularly put into my mind what is negative, critical and cynical.

What will I choose my input to be?

What will my associations be? Who am I spending time with? I want to spend time with people who love God and are focused on serving him. I want to be with people who are positive and who live with thankfulness to God. I want to be with a few people who laugh regularly, particularly at themselves.

I don’t want to spend too much time with self-absorbed people or those who are focused on purchasing the next toy or trinket. I don’t want to spend too much time with those who see to worship their own self-importance.

What will my environment be? What surroundings will I choose? I don’t want to constantly be staring at my phone, particularly when there is another person in the room. I want to be fully present with other’s. I want to be present and engaged with others in the room.

My input. My associations. My environment. These are all important influences in my life and yours. It helps me to think about each of these and then consider the choices I am making.

I realize there is much in life, that you and I cannot control. However, we can be intentional about our input, our associations, and our environment.

Perhaps today, I can do something on purpose to elevate and enhance what might influence me. I would like for my influences to help me reach higher, persevere, and love God to the fullest.

Your Age, Your Time, and Longing for the New

I recently heard English poet Malcom Guite quote a wonderful poem written by Edmund Waller. Edmund Waller (born 1606 and died 1687) was an English poet and politician who was a Member of Parliament between 1624 and 1687.

The seas are quiet when the winds give o'er;So calm are we when passions are no more.For then we know how vain it was to boastOf fleeting things, so certain to be lost.Clouds of affection from our younger eyesConceal that emptiness which age descries.The soul's dark cottage, batter'd and decay'd,Lets in new light through chinks that Time hath made:Stronger by weakness, wiser men becomeAs they draw near to their eternal home.Leaving the old, both worlds at once they viewThat stand upon the threshold of the new.

The poem is entitled “Old Age.” However, I actually think these lines may speak to many people regardless of age. Everyone of us age and get older. There is a point, however, in which we will “stand upon the threshold of the new.”

Perhaps this is a good reminder that our flesh wants to focus on “getting old.” Some of us complain that we are no longer in our 30s or 40’s or 50s. Yet, all of us in Christ are moving toward the “threshold of the new.” This is good news!

What Helps Us Continue (Especially for Ministers and Other Church Leaders - Part 1 of 2)

It is true that in recent years, a number of ministers have left “full-time” congregational ministry. This has only intensified since the pandemic. There are a variety of reasons for this that have been discussed and written about in other places.

Not long ago, in preparation for a presentation at the annual HopeNetwork retreat, I talked with a number of ministers from across the country who serve in various full-time ministry roles in their churches. I asked them what practices or habits have contributed to their decision to continue serving. These ministers noted that the last three years has been very difficult for them and at times very discouraging. Nevertheless, they continue to serve their churches.

I will share a few of their habits below and then will do the same in the next Encouragement Note.

A number of ministers acknowledged the following practices:

* A Part of a Healthy Group of Fellow Ministers - A number of these ministers said that being a part of a group of healthy ministers has been significant.

* One person spoke of his Zoom group. These ministers in this group met once per month to work on being a “less anxious presence.”

* Another spoke of being a part of a group of ministers who met by Zoom weekly with a therapist. They each had about 20 minutes to talk about whatever they wished. This therapist would respond.  There was something about hearing other ministers talk that made them feel less alone.

* Another minister has a small group of ministers with whom he connects with every week. It has been difficult as several in the group left ministry in the last three years. Yet this group has encouraged him greatly.  Without this group, he is not sure he could have stayed.

* Practicing the Spiritual Disciplines -  Some spoke of their time focusing on the spiritual disciplines.  

* One minister said he focused more on the Psalms.  

* Another minister spoke of how important these daily disciplines are to him.    

* Changing the focus  - Several ministers spoke about intentionally adjusting or changing their focus.

* One person said, “I began focusing less on my resentments and more on my own response to what was happening in our church and around me.”  Another spoke of cultivating a spirit of gratitude and contentment instead of focusing on grievances.  

* One minister talked about focusing on the grace of God and the power of God.  

* One Arkansas minister spoke of reading an article by Lynn Anderson in which he said that a minister really has little credibility until he has been with a church for about seven years.  This really helped him with his thinking and expectations.

* Finally, a Memphis minister spoke of the need to “cultivate and protect” joy!

* Cultivating and Nourishing Friendships - A number of ministers spoke of the tremendous value of having healthy friendships.

* One minister meets regularly (Zoom) with a group of friends who went through seminary together. They are intentional about encouraging one another in these calls.

* One minister spoke of working with a church that was in the same town in which his dad preached. His dad, however, served another congregation.  At the time, he was a very young youth minister.  His dad and another more experienced preacher invited this youth minister to meet with them weekly for lunch.  He said that these two were healthy ministers but they spoke openly of their problems in the churches they served.  It helped him to see that these two had served for a long time, had problems, and yet did not quit.

* Another minister spoke of surrounding himself with healthy people who he can talk with instead of isolating himself when he is down. 

* One minister said that his friendships were the nucleus of his mental health.

Etcetera: Reading/Listening

* I found this article, “29 Lessons from Owning a Bookstore” by Ryan Holiday interesting. Maybe I was drawn to this because of the digital age and the closing of numerous physical bookstores in recent years.

* You might enjoy Thomas Oppong’s piece “30 Tiny Habits to Improve Your Life Without Really Trying.”

* I regularly browse through the Regent College Bookstore site (Vancouver, B.C.) For a number of years, during the summer, I audited courses at Regent. (See the Regent Audio tab. These audios are past lectures, classes, etc.)

* If you have not read Tim Keller’s “The Decline and Renewal of the American Church,” I highly recommend this. (This is the extended version with footnotes.)

* An interesting TED talk (interview) by Anjali Sud, CEO of Vimeo, entitled “How Great Leaders Take on Uncertainty.” At one point, she speaks of admonishing managers within her organization to care. (See 15:59 on the video) “If we just care, a lot of things get easier.”

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

Refresh and Recharge

I love the following, written by Billy Oppenheimer (December 11). It speaks to how we might better work and focus.

In a twelve-year stretch, the legendary college basketball coach John Wooden won ten NCAA championships. In that period, his teams won a record 88 consecutive games and seven championships. So thinking Wooden would find it impressive, a young go-getter once said to Wooden that he was plugged into his job 24/7/365. Wooden asked, “How much coffee does it take to do that?”

Wooden was interested in sustainable high performance. So he wasn’t always plugged into his job. “During practices, two hours each day, I expected total and absolute concentration and participation,” he wrote, “However, once practice was over, basketball was over.”

He told his players—outside those two hours—to not think about basketball, to stay away from the weight room, to concentrate on things unrelated to basketball. “I felt it important to refresh and recharge oneself, not to be so consumed with basketball that it becomes a chore.”

Wooden’s wife Nellie said that because he left basketball on the basketball court, she could never “tell if [John] had a good day or a bad day at practice. [He] left it behind at the office.

There is something valuable about not always working. When someone is attempting to do serious thinking or problem solving, doing something besides directly working on the concern can actually be very helpful.

I recall feeling stuck at times, trying to figure out a solution to a dilemma I was facing. I would eventually move on to go on to do other things. Often, later in the day, a thought would occur to me while I was exercising, having coffee with a friend, watching a game, or even while in the shower. The answers to some problems do not necessarily come by bearing down and staring them in the face.

This doesn’t just speak to work concerns. I remember some occasions when I have been uncertain as to how to handle a difficult conversation with a friend or acquaintance. Then later, while I was doing something completely unrelated, it would occur to me how I might handle the situation.

This is a reminder to me to continue the practices that tend to refresh me. Exercise. Reading something non-work related. Walking. Talking with a friend or family member regarding something non-work related. These matter.

What are the practices that tend to refresh you?

I’ve Slept In A Foxhole

I recently listened to a podcast in which the host, a former U.S. Marine and a medal of honor recipient, interviews General James Mattis.

When General Mattis, an esteemed and decorated former military general, showed up to record a podcast at the historic Willard Hotel, the host apologized. The chair wasn’t exactly comfortable, the table was wobbly, and the microphone set up seemed awkward. “I’ve slept in a foxhole,” General Mattis replied. “I’ve been in tougher circumstances than a hotel room in Washington, D.C.—this is no problem at all.”

“I’ve slept in a foxhole.”

When you and I are someone’s guest at a coffee shop, at lunch or even in someone’s home or office, the situation is not always ideal. Perhaps the coffee is not very good. Maybe the lunch doesn’t consist of our favorite foods. The home or office temperature may be too warm or too cold.

Yet, I don’t have to let these circumstances dampen the conversation that is taking place. I can still be fully present and engaged. After all, this probably isn’t the first time I have been in a situation in which the circumstances were less than ideal.

“I’ve slept in a foxhole.”

What matters is the conversation and that I be fully present in that moment. Will I behave in a way that is gracious and not allow the inconvenience or less than desirable surroundings to become my focal point?

Looking back, I hope I focused on the other person and not the surroundings that did not suit me.

Fresh Start 2023

You might enjoy the video below. This is a message that I preached at the very beginning of this new year, 2023. The text is Isaiah 41:8-10.

Notice particularly verse 10, an encouraging word from God to Israel, as they were in exile. It is also an encouraging word to you and me:

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.    Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.I will strengthen you and help you.    I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Suggestions for a New Year (Especially for ministers and church leaders)

"Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity."  (James Clear - June 4, 2020)

1. What kind of person do you want to be?  The answer to this question will help you formulate your habits, your practices, and your day.

2. Think small.  If you want to be a particular kind of person, be intentional about incorporating small habits and practices into your daily life.  They matter!

3. Focus on your gratitude instead of your grievances.  Yes, there may be a time to vocalize a grievance. However, I want live out of my gratitude to God instead of living in reaction to my grievances.  

4. Know that your attitude is critical.  As someone has said, “Life is about 10% of what happens to you and about 90% of how you respond to it.”  Your attitude is more important than your connections, your intellect, your insight, etc.  Your attitude will make an incredible difference in your ministry.  So much of ministry is about how you respond to what actually happens, instead of being resentful of your circumstances.

5. This is a great time to get out of ruts and create new habits. This can give you renewed energy.  If you want to be a person who has renewed energy, make sure your habits reflect reflect such a commitment.  (Your eating, sleep, exercise, etc.)

6. Explore. — what a wonderful time to get to know a city, a new small town, a new coffee shop, etc.

7. Read.  Listen to podcasts.  Watch videos.  But don’t just read, listen, or watch the same materials as your friends.  Broaden the authors/subjects selected. Pay attention to authors/resource persons who bring value but may be different from those many of your peers are paying attention to.

8. Prepare to experience some great moments this year.  Prepare to experience some very hard moments this year.  Develop habits/practices/systems that will help you have stamina during the hard times.  Know that many in your congregation are also going through hard times. You might ask, “What’s it like to experience unexpected job loss, depression, unwanted divorce, cancer, etc.?   

9. Dare to ask for help.  It might be a friend, a shepherd, a mentor, a coach, a therapist, a spiritual director. 

10. Trust God. He has you in the palm of his hand.

Etcetera (Reading and Listening)

* If you enjoy the writings of Dallas Willard, you will probably enjoy Seeking God, a wonderful book by Trevor Hudson. Hudson was a longtime friend of Willard and has captured the thinking and wisdom of Dallas Willard within these pages.

* Listened to an excellent sermon by Jon Tyson (Church of the City New York) entitled “God Comes Where He’s Wanted.”

* Also heard Cary Nieuwhof’s interview of James Clear on the “Backstory Behind Atomic Habits.” This is much more than a review of the book. Clear has much to say regarding habit formation, his approach to focus, etc.

* Don’t miss this video! The kids from Hopkins, Minnesota. Oh my!

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

This is the first Encouragement Note of 2023. Thank you for subscribing and for reading. About this time each year, I reflect on the previous year and consider what challenges or opportunities might be next. Writing this Encouragement Note has been helpful with this.

When Insecurities Get in the Way

It really is important to pay attention to those from whom you can learn. Recently, I read Quincy Jones’ new book, 12 Notes On Life and Creativity. Jones is a well known musician, songwriter, composer, arranger, and film/television producer.

At one point, he said, “An ego really is an over-dressed insecurity.” That phrase got my attention.

An over-dressed insecurity.

Have you seen egos that seem to be “over-dressed insecurities?”

* I think of the young business person who did not graduate from college. He always felt a sense of inferiority because he had no college degree. He rarely passed up an opportunity to mention how unnecessary college is for business success. For example, he would sometimes point to a CEO, whose business was in trouble, and comment “All that education sure isn’t doing him any good right now!”

* A woman in her late 70s seemed to have real difficulty accepting her age. She often appeared arrogant as she communicated to others her superior knowledge about various subjects and some of the important people she knew. As she went to great lengths to communicate this knowledge, it became apparent that she was actually masking much insecurity.

* Several young couples get together socially on a regular basis. One couple is more financially affluent than the others. When the couples get together, the conversation invariably becomes focused on the affluent couple’s exotic trip, their luxury car, or their presence at an exclusive gathering. At times, they almost seem to be uncomfortable if they are not the center of attention.

You and I are probably aware of some of our own insecurities. Our egos can take over and we might deal with these insecurities by “over-dressing” them. As a result, some of us can even come across as egotistical, arrogant, and wrapped up in ourselves.

Ultimately, however, real security doesn’t come by trying to hide insecurities or attempting to create a particular persona or impression with someone else.

As Christ-followers, our real security is found in Christ, who is able to make us whole and mend our broken places. Our identity and sense of worth are found in him and the worth he has given each one of us.

Finding our identity in Christ can relieve you and me of much self-imposed pressure. We don’t have to posture and position ourselves so that we always appear to come out on top. Sometimes, this reveals itself in a tendency to always appear that we “get it” while others who are lacking just don’t understand. Instead, you and I can rest in Christ, knowing that our true identity and security are never truly threatened.

When our children were very small, I used to whisper to them, particularly just before bedtime, “You are just right.” I have since whispered the same message to each one of our grandchildren.

May we begin this New Year knowing that when our identity is in Christ, “You are just right.” Is this something you need to hear today?

As You Look Ahead

The head football coach and I were standing on the parking lot of the high school. I told him that a minister in town spoke highly of him. This particular minister works with an inner-city church. This football coach went on to tell me how much he respected this minister. “He is all about street-level faith.”

“Street-level faith” is a good way of describing what Christ-followers practice as we attempt to navigate daily life. We do this, not compartmentalizing life into various segments, but learning to live with faith in the ordinary mundane moments.

Every New Year, some people set goals, look ahead, etc. Others don’t do this at all. Speaking only for myself, I have found the New Year to be a good time to pause. It is also been a time in which I have made adjustments to my life.

Today, as I pause, I am committed to the following:

I want to exam my life.

* What is a habit or tendency in my life that needs to change?

* If I were to take God seriously regarding what God wants me to do, what is my next step?

* What kind of person, husband (wife), father (mother), single, etc. would I like to be twelve months from now?

I want to begin the New Year seeking wisdom.

Wisdom is not trying to get more “likes” on Facebook or Instagram. (After all, the capability to do this on Facebook did not even begin until 2009.) Wisdom has been around much, much longer. Wisdom is knowledge that is lived out and tested. We ask God for wisdom and trust that he will give us what we need (James 1:5). Wisdom is a part of street-level faith which results in the good life (James 3:13, 17-18).

I want to remember that God is with me.

God is with me as I attempt to walk with him. Note in particular the following verse (Isa. 41:10):

So do not fear, for I am with you;    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.I will strengthen you and help you;    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Beautiful People Do Not Just Happen

I love this quote by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross from her book, Death: The Final Stage of Growth.

I first read these words in Scott Sauls’ book Beautiful People Don’t Just Happen: How God Redeems Regret, Hurt, and Fear In The Making of Better Humans. Sauls, a long time minister in Nashville, speaks of his own experience with regret, hurt, and fear. He also discusses his battle with depression and anxiety. This is an excellent book which I plan to read a second time.

On Sunday mornings, some Christians in church buildings may appear to be well put together, fully capable, and generally doing all the right things in the right way. Yet, if we were to scratch below the surface, we might see that many of their lives are far messier than what they appear.

While this book acknowledges that we are unfinished, it points the way to becoming a people who are “on the mend.”

Note some of the following quotes from the book:

We are not home yet. That’s the hard news. The hopeful news is that Home awaits.

Every person you meet is fighting a hard, hidden battle.

No matter how hard we try to make it so, this present world refuses to be our paradise. We cannot make heaven happen for ourselves because heaven can only be given and received. When we accept and receive this truth, the revival of our hearts is made more possible.

Five Vital Behaviors (Especially for Ministers and Other Church Leaders)

* Pay attention to your own spiritual transformation. Are you and I in the process of becoming more Jesus-like? While we have certainly not arrived, are we taking the spiritual transformation journey seriously?

* Deal with your issues. It is critical that you and I deal with our baggage, our habits and our negative tendencies. It is especially important that we choose to address the issues in our lives that have really never been dealt with in light of who we are in Christ.

* Do at least some work that is important to your co-workers or to the people to whom you are accountable. A minister might say, “I am doing what I think is most important.” Yet, is there at least some room for a few things that others might believe to be important?

A few years ago, I was in a lunch conversation with a good friend, who has been in a key management role in his company for many years. He told me about a conversation with a young man who was experiencing a difficult relationship with his manager. My friend told him to do two things that he knew his manager wanted done. He said, “You are frustrated with your manager. I hear you. You are not getting what you want or need from him. Yet, the relationship does not get better as you ignore what he wants you to do. Why not start by doing a few things your manager says are important to him. Just do a couple of things you know he wants you to do. Then talk with him about about what you need.” There is something here that might be helpful when a minister considers how to work with elders.

* Follow through. This simply means that if you promise to do something, you do it. If you promise to follow up with a text or e-mail, this is what you do. If you say, “I will get back with you to let you know when I am available for lunch,” this is what you do. Am I a person who follows through on what I say?

* Speak the language of the church. There is a particular language (often academic) that is spoken in a seminary. I recall a Sunday morning in which I was visiting a congregation in our area. A young seminary student went to the podium and gave a brief talk just before the Lord’s Supper. He talked about a “pericope” in the Gospel of Luke. (This refers to a section of a text, usually in the Gospels.)

This was a congregation of hard-working people. They were intelligent but many were not college graduates and none of them had attended a seminary. I suspect that few, if anyone, knew what the word “pericope” meant. Again, the problem was not their intelligence. Many have jobs that require a technical language that might baffle most anyone else not trained in that particular line of work. Yet, it is important that we speak the language that most people in these congregations can grasp. It is important that we not assume they understand our technical language.

Etcetera: Reading and Listening

* Note the book mentioned above, Scott Sauls’ fine work, Beautiful People Just Don’t Happen. This well written book was such a good read!

* I listened to Quincy Jones’ book on creativity, 12 Notes on Life and Creativity. This was a very good and practical audio book.

* Recently I read a journal article which got my attention. “Too Reluctant to Reach Out: Receiving Social Support Is More Positive Than Expressers Expect” (Psychological Science, Vol 33, 2022, pp. 13-1312) by James A. Dungan, David M. Munguia Gomez and Nicholas Epley. What really got my attention in the article is that often when we attempt to express support and encouragement, we are too pessimistic about the good that such a gesture will actually do. These gestures, according to this journal article, do far more good than we might expect.

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

The List of Five

What You Might Become

I was a young husband, father, and a discouraged minister. I felt insecure and inadequate in a variety of ways. About this same time, I stumbled upon the following story:

There was once a sculptor who worked hard with hammer and chisel on a large block of marble. A little child who was watching him saw nothing more than large and small pieces of stone falling away left and right. He had no idea what was happening. But when the boy returned to the studio a few weeks later, he saw, to his surprise, a large, powerful lion sitting in the place where the marble had stood. With great excitement, the boy ran to the sculptor and said, “Sir, tell me, how did you know there was a lion in the marble?” (Henri Nouwen, Clowning in Rome, p. 87)

At first, this boy only saw a block of marble. Later, he saw a lion.

There is a sense in which you and I are a piece of marble that God is working on. He is carving and shaping, so that we might become what we never imagined.

It could be that as you and I look in the mirror today, we might only see marble. Yet one day we might see a lion!

Our lives are more significant than we might think.

* Beware of giving up on your personal transformation into the image of Jesus. Do you look in the mirror, see who you are, and say “This is just the way I am?” Do you slump into your recliner, shrug your shoulders, and passively settle? Or, do you ask God to shape you into the kind of husband/wife or father/mother that he desires you to be?

* Beware of seeing life as basically a human potential project. Rather, it is based on the transformative work of God and what he desires for us to be. As you and I yield to him, he forms and shapes us into the kind of people we could not be without him.

* Beware of viewing life as primarily a self-improvement project. With God at work, and the power of the Holy Spirit within you and me, this is the opportunity for transformation. You are a work in progress (2 Cor. 3:18).

Our lives are based on our willingness to yield to the one who molds and shapes us into becoming a lion for him. Who knows what we will become as God continues to transform us for his honor! 2023 is not just another year for self-improvement. This is a year to see, in your life, the transformative work of God! You can become a more Christ-like man/woman, husband/wife, or father/mother.

What Kind of Friend Are You?

A good marriage is one in which each spouse secretly thinks he or she got the better deal, and this is true also of our friendships.

I love this quote by Anne Lamont (See Shane Parish, Brain Food, #499, November 20, 2022). There is much truth here. Whether in marriage or friendship, our relationships are blessed when we each think we got the better deal.

Consider your own friendships.

Do you take the initiative with friends? Some friendships seem to be “one-way.” That is, one friend typically takes the initiative while the other person typically receives.

* Do you call your friends? Or, do they typically call you? Do you depend upon them to call you and then complain at times because you rarely hear from them?

* Do you call your friends at times other than when you need them to listen to you vent or to help you work through a problem?

* Do you ask your friends questions about their lives and work? Or do you find yourself talking on and on about your life, your problems, your vacation, etc. while you ask few, if any, questions about your friends’ lives?

* Do you take the initiative to plan a time to get together or is this typically another’s initiative?

Suppose you were to make a list of ten people whom you count as friends. What if you were to begin the New Year by texting each person, simply telling them how much you appreciate them and how you value their friendship? What if you called one of these people on the telephone, particularly someone with whom you rarely talk?

When You Feel Silly

At times, you may not be at your best.

A few years ago, I met one of our Harding School of Theology (Memphis) students at an area Chinese restaurant. John would graduate in a few weeks and then move from Memphis to another part of the country where he would serve a congregation as its minister.

We sat down in a booth and I looked at the menu. I quickly decided to order sesame chicken. The waiter turned to me and for some reason I told him that I wanted almond chicken. A few minutes later, the waiter brought our food.

I looked at the plate and said, “This is almond chicken, isn’t it?” He said, “Yes.” I then said, “I really wanted cashew chicken.” As soon ask I said this, I knew that I still was not getting it right.

Ten minutes earlier, I had decided to order sesame chicken. Then I mistakenly ordered almond chicken. Now, I mistakenly (again) told him I wanted cashew chicken.

I couldn’t believe what I had just said. “I’m so sorry. All along I wanted sesame chicken. I know I said almond chicken, earlier, and then cashew chicken, just now, but what I really want is sesame chicken.”

The waiter was very patient and gracious. “No problem at all, I will take this almond chicken back and bring you sesame chicken.”

I had never changed what I intended to order. Yet, my words did not reflect this. The right words were not coming out of my mouth.

I felt a little silly and embarrassed. Yet, I know that most of us have similar moments. Regardless of our intentions, we have difficulty getting it right.

What helps me on days like this:

* I don’t have to take myself so seriously. In fact, it often helps if I can laugh at myself.

* When I make a mistake, I can put others at ease with a smile instead of cringing or getting tense because I made a silly blunder.

* My mistakes do not define me or reflect my worth before the Lord.

* I don’t have to have a perfect day in order to have a significant day. Very few of us are 100% during each moment of the day. I can still live a significant life on an imperfect day.

How Much Memory is Enough? (Especially for Ministers and Other Church Leaders)

Margaret Marcuson has written an article entitled “How Much Memory is Enough?” (See her newsletter, November 17, 2022). Note the following:

"Without sufficient memory we are lost; with too much we are captive."  I found this quote from Jon Meacham in a file ("Southern Stand," Garden & Gun, April/May 2020--yes, it’s a real magazine, and it’s great!). I remember when I first read it I immediately thought of church. Memory and how we use it matters for church life.Even if churches forget the past, it still affects their life together. They can trip over the unrecognized boulders. They don’t talk about the failures, the fights, the flawed leaders. Those secrets lie underground, sapping energy. Likewise, churches also forget the strengths and successes of the past that can help them forge the future. They aren’t in touch with the natural abilities they have, past ministries that might hint at future possibilities--not to recreate but to inspire creativity. Instead, they frantically look around to see what other churches are doing that they can imitate, and get lost in pretending to be something they are not.  

Perhaps, at times, a church can have too little memory. Sometimes we may forget.

* We can forget to deal with lingering problems, allowing them to continue and fester.

* We can forget to address the ongoing misbehavior of a church leader. Far too many people have avoided this by saying, “Let’s just let it work itself out.” Avoidance is usually not the answer.

* We can forget to deal with the undependable Bible class teacher. Week after week, children are in her classroom by themselves waiting on this chronically late teacher (sometimes 10-15 minutes late). Yet no one holds her accountable. (Her sister-in-law is married to one of the elders.)

* Sometimes, a minister can forget that God has been working through the congregation long before this minister arrived. God will be working through this congregation long after this minister leaves.

Yet, perhaps at times, a church can have too much memory.

* A teenager in the church is involved in reckless behavior. This young person grows up, has a great family, and a good job. Yet, twenty-five years later when someone suggests that he serve as the church treasurer, several bring up this incident of teenage reckless behavior.

* A mission team that is supported by the congregation comes apart. There are accusations, bitter words, and the team returns to the USA. A decade later, other missionaries supported by the congregation feel as if they are treated with suspicion and distrust, even though the incident with the mission team took place many years earlier.

It is true that we can have too little memory or too much memory. Yet, we do need a memory that will sustain our faith. In the Lord’s Supper and baptism, we remember. When we read Scripture, we remember.

We might also remember the following:

* We might remember to express appreciation to those who serve our churches. If your preacher is working hard, serving faithfully, praying daily, and loving the people well, you have a real jewel! Don’t take such a person for granted.

* We might remember the stories of Scripture which can sustain us in our faith. One of the most important disciplines for any minister (actually, any Christian) is to simply read the Bible, looking for what God wants us to hear (and obey).

Etcetera (Reading and Listening)

* Recently read Paul David Tripp’s excellent book, Reactivity, which is all about the use of social media among Christians. I love his emphasis on selflessness, limits, and dignity.

* Recently listened to this podcast by Greg McKeown, “The 85% Rule.” Very good.

* Russell Moore interviews Tim Keller regarding his new book Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I?

* Recently read The Gravity of Joy by Angela Gorrell. The author tells the story of the three recent deaths in her family at a time in which she had begun a study on “joy” at Yale University.

* Just read “Text Your Friends. It Matters More Than You Think” in The New York Times (July 11, 2022).

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

Pay Attention to What Matters

The little girl above is my granddaughter, Elsie. I have no trouble paying attention to her. Like my three grandsons, she is very important to me. When she wants my attention, I notice.

Occasionally I read Rob Walker’s, “The Art of Noticing.” Each time I read this newsletter, I am reminded again of the importance of noticing something or someone.

I was in the 7th grade and Mrs. Cummings was attempting to teach. At the same time, some of us were talking and distracting others. We were making it very difficult for her to teach. Finally, in sheer exasperation, she slammed her book on her desk and yelled, “Pay Attention!”

Decades later, I still need to be reminded to pay attention to what matters most.

For many years, I preached each Sunday, serving various congregations as their preacher. Unfortunately, sometimes, I paid far too much attention to the negative words of a few critics.

Of course, I am not above the criticism of others. However, there are occasionally a few people in churches who seem to function as the regular critics. Regular critics can sometimes express their criticism in ways that feel very personal and discouraging.

Eventually I became aware that I was spending way too much time and energy trying to please such critics. At the same time, I was often not giving enough attention to those who had much to offer.

Consider the value of paying attention to the following people:

* Pay attention to the wise - you and have much to gain from them.

* Pay attention to those whom you might serve - this is such an opportunity to learn and grow as you give yourself in service to another.

* Pay attention to those whom God has placed in your life to build you up - listen especially to your mentors, coaches, and encouragers.

* Pay attention to the people who are life giving - often these people can bring refreshment and life when you are in their presence.

* Pay attention to those who might see the subject at hand in a different way - they are not necessarily your critics simply because they have a different point of view. In fact, they may help to sharpen your thinking.

Most importantly, pay attention to what God is doing in your life. I love the following words of Elisabeth Elliot:

If you dwell on your own feelings about things rather than dwelling on the faithfulness, the love, and the mercy of God, then you’re likely to have a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Our feelings are very fleeting and ephemeral, aren’t they? We can’t dwell on them for five minutes at a time. But dwelling on the love, faithfulness, and mercy of God is always safe.

Get Prepared for What is Next

A few years ago, my friend Dale Robinson reminded me of a wonderful quote by Lynn Anderson (longtime minister and mentor):

The depth of your preparation will have a direct impact on the longevity and impact of your ministry.

I love this quote! Preparation really does matter. Preparation matters for anyone contemplating marriage or attempting to rear a child. Whether you are thinking about your personal finances, your work, or the upcoming year, preparation matters. It certainly matters as you consider your ministry. It matters whether you are preaching, teaching a class, or about to have a difficult conversation with an individual.

Yet, sometimes we get stuck, passively waiting for things to get better.

* If only . . .

* Life is really going to be good when . . . finally happens.

* If I could just get a break, life would be so good

You may know people who passively wait each year for something good to happen or for their problems to go away. Yet, what if you and I prayed and trusted God, while we prepared for the future?

The depth of our preparation really does matter as we consider the intentional impact of our lives.

* What kind of person would you like to become in the next 24 months? What might you do to prepare yourself?

* What kind of husband/wife would you like to become in the next 24 months? What is one small step that could help move you in that direction?

* What kind of father/mother (or even grandparent) would you like to become in the next 24 months? What is one small change you could make this week that would move you a bit closer to becoming that kind of person?

Do People Energize You or Exhaust You?

I was visiting with a fellow minister one day. That particular day, we both had been with a number of people at a large gathering.

I told him, “All of these people and all of these conversations. I am exhausted!”

My friend then said, “All of these people and all of these conversations. I am energized!”

We both had experienced a similar day. However, what left me exhausted left him energized.

In a conversation with Susan Cain, Simon Sinek gives a simple but helpful analogy in describing the extrovert and the introvert. Sinek uses the analogy of coins.

The extrovert wakes up in the morning with no coins. At every interaction with another person, the extrovert gains a coin. At the end of the day this person feels rich!

In contrast, the introvert wakes up every morning with five coins and with every interaction this person spends a coin. At the end of the day, this person feels exhausted.

Can you relate to this?

Sinek says this is important because it relates to one’s energy. For example, as an introvert himself, he can do public speaking because while he is speaking on stage, he connects with one person at a time. Yet, when he walks off the stage, he is “absolutely shattered” as if he had gone for an hour long run.

I relate to this. While I love being with people, as an introvert, these interactions impact my energy level. In the mornings, after spending time in prayer, reading Scripture, praying, etc., my energy level is high. Or to use the analogy, I have five coins early in the morning. However, a conversation, especially an intense conversation, takes a coin. A difficult meeting usually takes another coin. By the end of the day, I am spent!

This may be helpful as you consider how to manage your energy each day.

* As someone who tends to be more of an extrovert, you probably need to be intentional about scheduling enough time with people. In some ways, being with people may be like fuel for you. You become energized by various conversations, meetings, and encounters with others.

* However, as someone who tends to be more of an introvert, you might be intentional about not scheduling too many intense conversations and meetings during the day. If I foresee these to be intense, I typically avoid scheduling them back-to-back.

Of course, these are generalizations and may not hold true for every person. Yet, I have learned to be intentional about scheduling my time, due to the impact on my energy level. Perhaps this will be helpful to you.

When You Are Weary (Especially for Ministers and other Church Leaders)

Gordon MacDonald tells of a time when as a child he was traveling with his family on a dusty, deserted road in Canada. It was late, and the family had been traveling the entire day. They were lost, tired, and were becoming irritable with one another. They could not find a motel, and the few cabins they did see, had “No Vacancy” signs in the window. The trip had begun with excitement, but all of that had worn away as they pushed ahead thinking that down the road somewhere there had to be a place to sleep. MacDonald continues by saying:

I have often recalled the feelings and frustration of that late-night, dark-road experience whenever my life seemed to momentarily turn into a mindless or spirit less journey crammed with events (not experiences) and contacts (not relationships). In such confounding periods, my sense is that one feels like my family did that night in Canada. Where is all of this going? What does it mean? And, how will I know when the destination has been reached? Why has this exciting trip suddenly turned into a wearisome journey? Where will I find tranquility again?  Restoring Your Spiritual Passion, pp. 7-8

Can you relate to this?

There are times when life has left me feeling tired and weary. These feelings are not the result of one incident or disappointment. Rather, weariness seems to be the result of numerous difficult situations stacked on top of one another.  The compilation of these situations over time can be draining and exhausting.

Prolonged weariness can leave one feeling tired and depleted. If you are like many, you may even come to a place where you finally become numb to what is happening in your life.

During times when I feel particularly weary, I have found it helpful to re-visit my purpose for being alive and getting out of bed in the morning.

Focusing again on the purpose for my life, my family, and my work can help bring clarity and lift the fog. As a part of this, I sometimes reflect on the various ways God has worked in my life and express gratitude to him for his faithfulness.  

The following are a few realities I try to keep in mind during such times:

1.  I have absolutely no control over so much of what happens in life. I can’t control the decisions and choices that others make.  Often life is very hard and can be confusing.  Yet, I desire to make choices and decisions that will bring God pleasure.

2. I can choose my attitude, my outlook, and the direction of my life. Yes, this can be hard. However, in the power of the Spirit, I can take the next right step today.

3.  I need to trust God.  God is never weary or depleted.  He does not begin his day discouraged. Even in my confusion, frustration, and anger, I want to hold on to him.

4.  I need to be proactive instead of passive.  Stephen Covey encourages us to “choose with the end in mind.” Clarify your life’s mission. He suggests that we write eulogies that we would want our friends to read at our funeral.  Proactive people step into life while passive people spend their lives waiting for something to happen.

I would love to hear what you do when you are weary. Please consider leaving a comment below.

Etcetera - (Reading and Listening)

* Listened to Russell Moore’s interview with Tim Keller on “forgiveness.” Note Keller’s most recent book, Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I? Very good!

* This podcast by Greg McKeown is excellent and very helpful. See: “The #1 Way to Remove Resistance in Your Day.” Wonderful comments on the importance of “empathy.”

* See this very good interview. Cary Nieuwhof interviews Patrick Lencioni.

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

(Sorry - There is no podcast/audio available for this issue due to a technical problem.)

The List of Five

What Might Keep Me From Showing Up

For many of us, the answer to this question might be summed up with the following words:

* My Fear

* My Anger

* My Pride

Yet, we may be closing ourselves off from much of life as a result of these lingering emotions. My anger, fear, and pride can keep me “bottled up” and cut off from being fully present with others. These emotions can also prevent me from experiencing real joy in the moment. Perhaps these linger due to some threat, wound, or hurt from the past. For me, these are sometimes related to futile coping mechanisms for dealing with old wounds and inadequacies. (Do you relate to this?)

These emotions may be linked to a particular wound. That divorce. That lost job opportunity. That humiliating moment with my boss. That awful elders’ meeting. We can get stuck in a never ending loop as we replay these moments over and over again in our minds.

I recall a conversation that took place years ago, with a mentor whom I greatly admired. He told me that at the time, I seemed “closed off” emotionally. Regrettably, I immediately denied this instead of asking for more clarity from my friend. Actually, he was correct. I had allowed my fear, anger, and pride to erect an emotional wall around me. At that point in my life, I’m not even sure I was conscious of doing this.

Not long ago, I was in a conversation with a friend in another city. At one point, he said, “I guess the leaves on the trees in Memphis are very beautiful right now.” Embarrassingly, I said “I don’t know.” I honestly wasn’t aware if the leaves on the trees were displaying their typical fall beauty. At the time, I was preoccupied by worry and fear regarding a particular problem I was grappling with.

What I would like to do each morning is to choose to be intentional with the day instead of resorting to some of these emotions that can keep me stuck.

For example, I would like to begin each day with the following affirmations:

* Today, I acknowledge that I am very important to God. I may not be important to other people. But to God, I am very significant. I am deeply loved and cherished by God himself. Throughout the Bible, God makes clear that you and I really do matter to him.

* Today, I will look for the extraordinary in my everyday activities. I can learn to pay attention to nature, to the voices of children, to the books I read, or to the simple ordinary moments in the coffee shop. I can listen and observe. God’s mighty hand can be often be seen in these everyday moments.

* Today, I can savor the beauty of this day. Perhaps I need to turn off the television news and walk through a park. In spite of the discouraging news, God’s everyday beauty remains. After all, “The heavens declare the glory of God, the skies proclaim the work of his hands” (Ps. 19:1).

Perhaps it is just me who needs to hear this today. Yet, I suspect not. Perhaps you, like me, can get “bogged down” in some very negative emotions. If we are not careful, we stop showing up in the moment and with those who matter most to us.

What is Your Story of Encouragement?

I have been blessed with several important encouragers in my life.

* One person paid a lot of attention to me at a time when my confidence was very, very low. He was intentional about pointing out my skills, abilities, and good qualities that he saw.

* My father-in-law, Charles Coil, communicated to me at some critical moments, his great confidence in me. Decades later, I vividly recall moments when he said that I could do more with my life than I realized. The focus of these conversations was always about serving the Lord.

* Another encourager, Lynn Anderson, once reminded me, as a young husband, to be more attentive to my wife Charlotte. We talked about the specifics of what this might look like. What a difference this made!

I would love to hear about one or more of your encouragers. What did this person do or say that was so meaningful to you? Please leave a comment below.

Be the One Who Gives Help and Hope

First - You and I can choose to be more helpful than critical.

Someone may have a word of criticism regarding an idea, a project, or a pattern of thinking. At times, a differing point of view can help sharpen our focus and provide a clearer sense of direction.

Then of course, there are people who almost seem to relish their role as a regular critic. These people regularly find fault and seem to always be critiquing. From their point of view almost everyone and everything seem to be lacking in some way:

* You can name someone and the regular critic will tell you what is wrong with her. In fact, the regular critic may seem to focus on the flaws of most anyone you mention. I have left conversations feeling pretty flat after being told that the people whom I just mentioned (and happen to admire) do not measure up.

* You can name a restaurant you like and the regular critic will tell you how it just doesn’t measure up to the place he likes. “That’s nothing! If you want BBQ, you ought to go to our favorite place. It’s much better than where you went.”

* You can name a vacation spot you enjoyed and the regular critic might say, “That’s nice. However, if you really want a great vacation, you need to go where we went.” Again, your destination just doesn’t measure up.

Typically, the regular critic has a way of deflating the life out of most any story. Again and again, the regular critic critiques various people, places, or situations and finds them lacking. They don’t measure up to the critic’s standards.

Yet, I would rather be known for being helpful and encouraging than being a person who deflates most any conversation with a critical word.

Second -You and I can be more hopeful than cynical.

Spend enough time with the cynic and you may feel like quitting. The cynic removes hope. I was a young minister and had a conversation with an older member about the condition of our congregation. He pointed out the various ways in which our congregation was flawed. He basically said there was no real hope for the future. At one point he even said, “Jim, most of the really gifted, sharp people who were a part of this congregation have left. No one is here but losers.”

For this young minister, that conversation was pretty devastating.

I don’t want to be a cynic. I want to be a person who gives hope and life, communicating value to others.

Finally.

There are people who spread negativity everywhere they go. They have a way of focusing on everyone’s flaws and shortcomings. They see the holes in most every dream and aspiration.

Yet, there is something refreshing about someone who smiles and speaks a hopeful word about the past, present, or future.

Each day you and I impact someone. Do my words, demeanor, and tone help move that person forward?

Be the one who gives help and hope.

Street Smarts for Ministry (Especially for Ministers and Other Church Leaders)

A few years ago, I began compiling a list of “Street Smarts” for ministry. These are truths I have learned about ministry both by experience and by observing others. If you are a minister and/or church leader, you may identify with some of these. You can probably add to this list:

* Deal with the “elephants” in the room. They may be present for years without anyone naming or acknowledging them.

* There are usually, at least, two sides to the story you just heard. Beware of quickly assuming you know the story because you spent time talking with one person.

* Listening well is incredibly important. Consider the words, the tone, and the emotions you are hearing.

* Many congregations and church leaders underestimate how much effort they need to put into communicating clearly. It is often far better to over-communicate than to under-communicate and make faulty assumptions.

* Trust is everything. If they no longer trust you, your ministry is probably over. Trust can take a long time to build but can be destroyed very quickly.

* Avoid hard discussions when a group is very tired. A meeting agenda can be far too ambitious. A sermon or class can be far too detailed and tedious. Know what your group can probably handle given their energy level.

* Pay now or pay later. You can’t avoid dealing with the difficult. Sometimes those who want to avoid the difficult will say, “It will work itself out.” Yet, some problems only get worse and more complex when they are avoided.

Ministry is not about how smart you are. It is not how edgy you can speak. Ultimately, ministry is rooted in your own discipleship to Jesus.

You probably have other important “Street Smarts” that are not listed here. I invite you to leave one in the comment box below.

Etcetera (Reading and Listening)

* Did you happen to listen to the conversation between Carey Niehoff and Nancy Duarte? This one made me think. Consider this subtitle: Nancy Duarte Outlines “4 Trends in Communication for Public Speakers and Preachers, the Power of Curation and What She Learned from Coaching Apple and Steve Jobs.”

* From Mere Orthodoxy, Tim Keller has written a very good piece entitled, “How Should Christians Speak in Public.”

* Consider listening to author Greg McKeown’s podcast, “One Habit to Change Every Aspect of Your Life.” (I listened to this twice.)

* I am reading Rich Villodas’ excellent book, Good and Beautiful and Kind: Becoming Whole in a Fractured World. I recently listened to him in an interview regarding trauma on the podcast, “The Place We Find Ourselves.” You might enjoy this.

* Don’t miss the following video! It may brighten your day. For 30 years, Robert Moore directed a high school choral group in Ponca City, Oklahoma. Watch for a few minutes (3:58) as his former students express gratitude.

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

Who Needs a Harsh Critic When You Can Look in the Mirror?

Some of us are much harder on ourselves than we would ever be on other people. For example, you may know what it is to “put yourself out there” and mess up.

* You are in conversation with someone and later realize you called him by the wrong name for the last 15 minutes.

* You are an elementary school teacher and realize that you misspelled two words on a document to be signed by parents.

* You are speaking to a group in a rural community and you refer to a “red” John Deere tractor. (They are historically a green/yellow combination.) Yes, I did this.

* You introduce yourself to a family at church. You ask if they are visiting. They tell you they have been members of that church for a number of years. I’ve done this too.

Of course when you make mistakes, you may feel embarrassed or silly.

Yet, everybody makes mistakes! Even the perfectionist is not perfect. We all blunder. Some of us, when we do something well, might slightly acknowledge to ourselves, “That was good.” However, when we mess up, we may kick ourselves again and again for such a blunder.

Maybe you even stare at yourself in the mirror and mutter something like, “You idiot!” Who needs a harsh critic when you and I basically function in the same way when we look in the mirror?

Yet, what if you and handled our mistakes differently?

* What if I was as gracious to myself as the Father is toward me when I mess up?

* What if I was as gentle to myself as I would be toward another person who made the same blunder?

* What if I could see the person in the mirror as a precious child of God, created in his image?

Maybe today, I could be just a bit more gentle and gracious to myself - even when I make a mistake.

The Value of Your Time

Poet and author Annie Dillard (The Writing Life) has said regarding the value of a schedule:

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour, and that one, is what we are doing. A schedule defends from chaos and whim. It is a net for catching days.

I could begin my day like this:

* I could skip my morning time in Scripture and prayer.

* I could read a number of negative, snarky comments on a Facebook post (or sarcastic, obnoxious tweets on Twitter).

* I could rehearse my encounter with the guy who irritated me by what he said. I could replay this over and over in my mind.

* I could start the day by complaining.

At times, when I have begun my day this way, I arrive at the office tense and a bit irritable. This has a way of being a negative cloud that impacts the whole day.

I have been thinking about this quote by Annie Dillard. So how do I spend my days? I sleep, work, exercise, and spend time with other people.

Yet what if you and I began our day with intention? At my best, this is how I prefer to begin my day:

* I begin my day reading the Word of God and praying about the day.

* I read something that is encouraging, positive, and life giving.

* I write in my journal.

* I stretch, drink water, enjoy a cup of coffee, and eat something which will provide fuel for my morning.

When I begin my day this way, I feel energized and ready for the day. My mind is not bogged down with anger and resentment but gratitude. My head is clearer and I have more mental and physical energy.

You may have another rhythm for your morning. Regardless, you and I can be intentional about the way we begin the day. It does make a difference.

One Question that Could Be Important for You Today

Lately, I have been thinking about one particular question:

Am I actually doing something about this (problem, concern, challenge) right now?

For example you may be thinking:

* I really ought to do something about my finances. I am not sure where our money (home finances) is going.

* I really need to start exercising. One day, I am going to get into shape.

* I really need to start reading more. I just need to find the time.

* There are some long-time friends I really need to check on. I’m really bad about keeping up with people.

Some of us may go for years like this, never really doing anything about some of our challenges. Perhaps it would help to ask, “Am I doing something about this right now?”

What if you were to simply start — even if it seems very, very small.

* Regarding my finances: What if I began today simply logging all of my spending for the day? Yes, it may be small but it is a start.

* Do I keep talking about my need for exercise? What if I were to start small? Maybe I could stretch - just for 10 minutes. What if I were to walk to the end of the block and back?

* What about reading? What if I were to set a timer and just read for 10 minutes today?

* Are there long-time friends who I need to contact? What if I sent a text to two friends today, simply saying: “I have been thinking about you today. Just want to say hello. I have good memories of times together.”

Perhaps these suggestions do not sound like much. However, this is a start. You are actually doing something about this today. Make progress today and then deal with tomorrow. Far too often we complicate things and end up doing nothing.

Today — you and I can make progress

Will You Help Me With This? (Especially for ministers and other church leaders)

I can always tell when I am neglecting my life-giving habits. There are certain habits and practices that help me feel alive and give me energy. Some of these include: exercise, reading, being with my grandchildren, writing, watching sports, etc. I can tell a real difference when I am in rhythm, doing these things.

I would love to know what some of your practices are that help you feel alive and give you energy. I really think others would value knowing this as well.

Will you leave a comment here? Just click on the comment button below. (You may enjoy not only leaving a comment but reading the comments that have been left.)

Etcetera - Reading and Listening Resources

* Hear Guy Raz interview Greg McKeown, author of Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less and Effortless: Make it Easier to do What Matters Most.

* Reading Rich Villosdas book, Good and Beautiful and King: Becoming Whole in a Fractured World. Just started the book but am enjoying it.

* If you need something to brighten your day (2:38):

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

The Simple Act of Building Another Up

My eight year old grandson, Lincoln, and I stepped into Kroger to buy a few items. Lincoln stood in the check-out line holding a package of frozen slice and bake cookies. The picture on the package showed the cookies with the figure of a pumpkin on each one.

The self-checkout machine was being monitored by an African-American lady in her 60s. Lincoln showed her the package of cookies. She smiled and said, “Please let me know if these are good!”

It was obvious that this momentary interaction with a eight-year old had brightened her day. Sometimes, it doesn’t take much. Perhaps the encouragement so many of us need might actually be brief and simple.

I came across this wonderful quote from an e-mail from Immanuel Nashville church:

Truett Cathy (founder of Chick-fil-A) was fond of saying, “How can you tell if someone needs encouragement?” His answer was, “they are breathing.”

The e-mail went on to talk about the importance of encouragement as found in Eph. 4:29-32. Note the following (NLT):

Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

Could it be that most every human being needs encouragement in some form? What if we focus not so much on receiving encouragement this week but on giving encouragement?

Consider the following:

* You and I can say what is good and helpful to another. Perhaps this alone will brighten someone’s day.

* You and I can refuse negativity. We can refuse to speak words to another that reflects bitterness, rage, and anger. We can avoid speaking harshly to another. The absence of these attitudes might be very refreshing to another.

* You and I can be kind and gracious to another. Kindness can brighten most anyone’s day.

Today, so many conversations seem to be caustic and harsh. Our words present an opportunity to embody the very life of Jesus into our conversations.

I love these final words of encouragement in the e-mail from Immanuel Nashville:

Dear family and friends, let’s be grace-giving, hope-building, faith-daring encouragers today. It’s not difficult, and it costs nothing. Start with one person today.

Today:

* What is something good and helpful that might encourage one of your co-workers?

* What can I say, today, to a family member or friend that is kind and gracious?

Making and Keeping Friends — As “Grown-ups!”

“Grown-ups” or adults certainly need friends. These may be friends we talk with only occasionally. They may be friends we go out to dinner with. These may be friends we’ve known for many years, or only for a short time.

As I think about some of our very dear friends, they are in places such as Memphis, Waco, Abilene, Dallas, Florence (Ala.), Searcy (Ark.) and other locations across the country. These people matter to me.

As a young adult, I really underestimated the importance of adult friendships. I don’t think I really understood the importance of my own friends and what they contributed to my life. I eventually realized these friendships were not just enjoyable but significant for my own well being.

Recently, I read “How to Make, Keep Friends, in Adulthood” by Catherine Pearson (The New York Times, October 21, 2022). She addresses the loneliness that so many of us feel and our longing for friendship. The following are a few takeaways:

* Pearson suggests that “you really have to try and put yourself out there” for many friendships to happen. Contrast this to the belief that friendship must always be “organic.” Rather than putting themselves out there, some people passively wait for an organic friendship to somehow occur. The research says that those who hold to such a view are often much lonelier.

* She suggests that if you really try to connect with someone you are less likely to be rejected than you might think. In other words, the probably of rejection is not near as high as some people think.

* She says that “when people assume that others like them, they become warmer, friendlier and more open.” We become even more likable.

* The quality most people value in a friend is “ego support.” That is, people tend to value someone who makes them feel like they matter.

* Finally, Pearson believes it is important to communicate to others how much we like and value them. According to some research, just texting a friend can be more meaningful than many of us might think.

In the article, she refers to Dr. Marisa Franco, a psychologist who studies friendship. Dr. Franco took a trip in which she tested some assumptions about friendship.

Dr. Franco assumed, for instance, that people would like her. And she reminded herself that people in transition — like those who’ve recently moved, gone through a breakup or who are traveling — tend to be more open to making new friends.

Franco’s research is a reminder to consider the various people who are going through some sort of transition. Perhaps you and I could encourage someone simply by taking the initiative to be a friend.

Sometimes we may become discouraged because we would like to be friends with a particular person and yet, we seem to be making no progress toward that end. Yet, friendship can’t be imposed or assumed. It is a gift we give and receive, sometimes from people we expect and sometimes from people we do not expect.

Know this, there are people who would love to have a friend like you.

Today:

* Consider writing a short text to two people whom you could like to encourage. If you are not sure what to say, consider this: “I have been thinking about you today. I appreciate our many years of friendship. Thank you for making a positive difference in my life.”

* Show an interest in a few people whom you would like to bless today. You might begin by showing some interest in them asking something like, “What has been the best thing about your day?”

Put Great Food in Your Brain!

When I was growing up, eating dinner at our house was a pretty big deal. Dinner always took place at the kitchen table. Typically, my mother cooked a meal that even included desert.

She did, however, get a bit aggravated whenever one of her three children came to the table and said, “I’m not hungry.” She knew we had eaten so many snacks after school we were no longer hungry. These snacks might have included, hot dogs, candy, cookies, leftover desert from the day before, etc.

Some of us seem to fill our minds with brain junk food. This might include some of the following:

* Negative unwholesome thoughts (may result in bitterness, rage, anger, and unwholesome talk)

* Frustration and thoughts surrounding this (may result in personal attacks, insults, accusations, etc.)

* Fear and the “What if’s” that often accompany fearful thinking (may result in depression, anxiety, and sleepless nights)

What if instead, I focus on the following thoughts:

* I might think about how I might speak graciously (Col. 4:6)

* I might consider how I can genuinely show care to another person (I Thess. 2:8)

* I might desire to speak/behave with wisdom and make the most of whatever opportunity might be before me (Eph. 5:15-16)

* I might focus on building another person up (Eph. 4:29)

When I look for what is good, right, honorable, and positive, I come away with more gratitude and more energy.

Today:

* Can you think of ways to put less junk food in your brain? Spend less time on certain social media sites?

* Is there a book or other resource that you could greatly impact the positive food you could add to your brain?

If You Want to Be an Excellent Minister (or any other kind of church leader)

Some of the best ministers I know avoid behaviors that are immature and un-Christlike. Any minister who wishes to experience genuine joy and effectiveness in ministry should avoid the following:

* Immature/irresponsible behavior. When church leaders are irresponsible in what they say or how they act, they are basically wasting their influence and the credibility they might otherwise have.

* Attempting to lead beyond your competence. As a church leader, you can get into trouble by pretending you always know what to do. Others actually put more confidence in us when we are willing to learn, grow, and develop.

* Using manipulation to get your way. A minister can attempt to manipulate favorite elders or groups within a congregation in order to get his way. Some even play upon the good heartedness of other church leaders by appealing to the old adage, “It is easier to get forgiveness than get permission.” Resorting to self-serving manipulation is no way to model Christ-like behavior.

* Relating to others in a thoughtless and rude manner. Far too many church leaders have made remarks in a moment of anger that were curt and abrupt. Some have even resorted to a cheap laugh at another’s expense. Mature ministers will consider whether or not this is how we wish to form and shape the church. 

You and I are called to do our ministry in a manner worthy of our calling. After all, our aim is to please God. We “speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the Gospel. We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts” (I Thess. 2:4). We understand our high calling and refuse to resort to any manner that is beneath this calling.

The challenge:

* Will I respond to others with mature and responsible behavior instead of immature, irresponsible behavior?

* Will I continue learning, even acknowledging that someone else may know more about the subject than me?

* Will I be straightforward and above board, not resorting to manipulation in order to get my way?

* Will I relate to others in a genuine, transparent manner when relating to another?

Etcetera - Listening and Reading

* See this interesting article, “Audiobooks: Every Minute Counts” in Public Books (October 5, 2022).

* Been listening to “Gelka - Eau Rouge pt. 1” as I write. Very good!

* Read Catherine Pearson’s, “How to Make, and Keep, Friends in Adulthood” in The New York Times, October 1, 2022.

* I have been reading Edward De Bono’s, Six Thinking Hats (1985). This is not a new book but it is a book I wish I had read a long time ago. Very helpful!

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

The List of Five

Navigating the Egos

My friend spoke of an upcoming business trip. In the conversation, he talked about having to “navigate the egos” on this particular trip.

Perhaps you can relate to this. You may know that whenever you deal with particular people or group, you will have to “navigate the egos.”

Consider the following situations in which the ego of another may get in the way:

* One person’s ego may be associated with her visibility in the community due to her job. She loves to be recognized and treated as special.

* Another person’s ego may be associated with financial affluence. This person may find a way, in most any conversation, to bring up his latest extravagant purchase.

* Still another person’s ego may be associated with his social network. He may regularly communicate to you how busy he is and the important people with whom he is interacting. “See how important I am!” seems to be the constant message.

Years ago, my father-in-law was hosting a fund raising dinner at the school where he served as president. A few days after the dinner, he received an angry note from a dinner guest. The person was angry because he and his wife had not been seated at the head table.

Hear the following by T.S. Eliot in “The Cocktail Party” (1949):

Half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don’t mean to do harm - but the harm does not interest them. Or they do not see it, or they justify it because they are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves.

I want to make sure that my own ego is not a part of the problem. I want to make sure that my ego is in check. I don’t want to think too much of myself, nor do I want to think too little of myself. Far too many of us use the word “just” as we speak of our vocation. “I’m just a school teacher” or “I’m just a preacher.”

My worth is found from having been created in the image of God. It is not found in a job title, a corporate role, or my affluence (or lack of it).

The following may help put our own ego challenges in perspective:

* The self-declared importance or perceived importance of another person does not have any bearing on our own significance. At times, those with the inflated egos can leave others reeling in the dust with a sense of inadequacy. Yet, our worth is not determined by comparing ourselves with another.

* Jesus said that the greatest in the kingdom is not someone who appears to be important in this world. Rather, the greatest is the person who is a servant (Mark 10:45). This is not the way to greatness, serving in the kingdom is greatness.

* “In the kingdom of God, service is not a stepping stone to nobility, it is nobility, the only kind of nobility that is recognized.” ( T.W. Manson, The Church’s Ministry, 1948)

You and I have far more to gain in Christ than in having others treat us as if we are special or important. Our worth and value comes from him!

You Belong Here

My friend, Tim, communicated an important truth to his Bible class at the university. He wanted to encourage his students. He told them that even though they might have a bad day or do poorly on a test, this is where they belong. “You belong here,” he emphasized.

Sometimes you may wonder where you actually belong. I remember walking with Charlotte one evening in the little downtown area of McGregor, Texas. We came to a large furniture store that had been there for many years. Unfortunately, that evening, it was already closed for the day. We both stood there on the sidewalk, looking through the plate glass window at the furniture inside.

Perhaps you’ve been to a church where you felt as if you were on the outside looking in. You just couldn’t break through. You could see that many people seemed to have close friendships and enjoyed being with one another. However, you found it hard to break through. You may have felt as if you were on the outside of a large plate glass window, looking in.

I don’t know how long you have been reading these “Encouragement Notes” but may I suggest that you really do belong here. You may be doing very well. Or, you may be discouraged and disheartened. Yet, I’m glad you are here and want you to know that you really do belong.

Encouragement is not just for those who are struggling or feel weak in some way. Rather, another’s encouragement can have a way of building us up and giving us support and confidence for the day (I Thessalonians 5:11). It can help build us up as we attempt to live out Christ’s desire for our lives. Most of all, Christ-centered encouragement is an attempt to treat another person with value, as one created in God’s image.

Who might especially be blessed by your encouragement today?

Learn to Handle Hard Things Well

Sometimes life is hard.

Does this describe your life today? If it does, let me encourage you to hang on. You are not alone.

1. Maybe you don’t know what to do with that particular child. You love her/him. However, sometimes you feel like you are losing your mind! At times, you get very discouraged. You may even wonder if you are not a failure as a parent. It doesn’t seem like your friends are having these problems.

2. Maybe you don’t know what to do with your marriage. You love your husband/wife. Yet, sometimes life together can be so hard. You look at the pictures on Facebook or Instagram and it seems like everyone is having a great life but you.

3. Maybe you don’t know what to do with your life. You want a life of joy. You love the Lord and attempt to make choices that please him. However, in this season of life, you are struggling.

Do you relate to any of the situations above? To struggle does not mean that you are inadequate Christian, a bad person, or a person who is failing.

Know this:

1. You are not alone. All of those smiling pictures on Facebook and Instagram were taken at a single point in time. The pictures do not show what the rest of their life is like. You are not seeing them when they disagree, are angry, or are not getting along. The pictures probably do not show you what they look like when they are discouraged. Yet, many of these people will tell you that they too struggle at times just like you.

2. God is with you. He will never leave you or forsake you (Heb. 13:5-6). He will stand by your side and give you strength (2 Tim. 4:17). His presence enables us to navigate life.

Sometimes life is hard. Yet, we can passively wait on life to get easier. Or, we can learn to do hard things well. We do this not on our own but by the grace of God and in the power of the Spirit.

Again, you and I are not alone. God is faithful and will be with you and me — through it all.

When You Wonder About Your Significance (Especially for ministers and other church leaders)

If you are a minister, you may know what it is to feel insignificant. You may wonder if your work really matters. You may compare yourself to other ministers and come away feeling inadequate.

Some people believe that ministers have great value if one or more of the following factors are true:

1.  If other churches or christian colleges are asking this minister to speak at their congregations or at particular lectureships, seminars, etc.

2.  If well known congregations are asking this minister to consider joining their ministry staff.

3.  If this minister has a much larger salary compared to other ministers who serve in the same role.

4.  If this minister has a large social media platform that seems to attract the attention of many.

5.  If this minister is well known throughout the region or the nation and seems to have a “following.”  

6.  If this minister, who has served a smaller congregation begins preaching for a larger congregation that is highly visible.  Suddenly this minister may be perceived to be “important.”

What about a minister who serves and none of the above is true?

How do ministers respond when they believe they have little value compared to other ministers?

* Some ministers become critics.  They may regularly critique and find fault with other ministers. They may spend much energy dismissing whatever might be associated with more visible ministers. For some, this may be like the person who didn’t get invited to the party and dealt with it by saying “I didn’t want to go to the party anyway.”  

* Still other ministers become self-critics. They conclude there must be something wrong with themselves. They reflect on themselves and see failure and inadequacies. They may even lose their self confidence.

* What if a minister chose a different path? What if a minister chose to pursue wisdom? This is a slow but solid way to approach ministry. This challenges us to grow from within instead of being preoccupied with perceived visible signs of success found in another.

Ultimately, one’s validation as a Christian minister comes from the Father.  It is his “well done” that matters.  It is his “well done” that validates us as human beings and Christian ministers. This validation can help us feel comfortable in our own skin.  

Far too many ministers approach ministry like tourists on the tour bus who are quickly getting off the bus, taking pictures with their phone and getting back on the bus on the way to the next destination.

Ministers are to be pilgrims who are here to experience life fully and deeply, growing in wisdom along the way. Others will see your life, hear your teachings, and learn how to live. (See Jay Kim, Analog Christian, p. 71)

Your importance and value before God is not determined by the standards we so often use to measure one another.  

Rather, God values each one of us and by his grace, we will receive a well done.

Etcetera (Includes Reading and Listening Resources)

* I recently went to that Harding University Bible Lectureship. Saw lots of friends, ministers, and others who have added so much value to my life. I was so encouraged by the ministers around the nation who continue to serve — even in hard times.

* I enjoy listening to theologian Russell Moore. See his “First Word” seminar, a weekly podcast.

* See David Brooks, “The Crisis of Men and Boys” in The New York Times, September 29, 2022.

* I would love to hear from you if something in this Encouragement Note was particularly helpful. jmartin9669@gmail.com

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

The List of Five

When Ordinary People, Like Us, Are Called to be Brave

Life is often hard. You and I know this. Yet, the challenge for us typically lies in the specifics. When are you and I challenged to be brave?

* Facing incredible pressures at work and and yet wanting to navigate these pressures in a Christ-like manner.

* Starting the day each morning with chronic pain and attempting to go about your day without complaining, even though it is very hard.

* Loving your adult child even when his/her behavior breaks your heart.

* Dealing with aching loneliness and grief after your husband’s death, even though most people around you don’t seem to understand.

* Continuing to serve the congregation as a minister even though you feel burned out and exhausted by it all.

When I reflect on particular years of my life, there have been some times when I have been so discouraged — deeply discouraged. Sometimes this discouragement occurred in times of disappointment with a particular person, at other times it was a challenge in the congregation I happened to serve. During some of these times I would be filled with self-doubt. On more than one occasion I said aloud, “What’s the use?”

The following quote from British theologian and historian, Sarah C. Williams, has been very meaningful to me. She writes these words after the tragic loss of her child (Perfectly Human, p. 80).

Courage is not the absence of fear and despair; it is the capacity to move forward confidently trusting the maker of the heavens to cover us with the shadow of his mighty hand even if the sky should fall.

Bravery is not about flexing your muscles or speaking with great bravado. Rather, bravery is the capacity to keep on going, even when it might seem impossible. After all, our power is not in ourselves but in Christ (Phil. 3:10-11). Our sufficiency is in him. Paul says that he has even learned a real contentment in him (Phil. 4:10-14).

As Paul reflects on his ministry and its challenges he says that we are like “. . . fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves” (2 Corinthians 4:7).

Now at times, he certainly experienced trouble:

8 We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. 9 We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. 10 Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.

11 Yes, we live under constant danger of death because we serve Jesus, so that the life of Jesus will be evident in our dying bodies. 12 So we live in the face of death, but this has resulted in eternal life for you. (2 Corinthians 4:8-12)

Yet, Paul continued to serve, trusting in God who raised the Lord Jesus. He affirms what God has done in Christ and our future hope in him that lasts forever. As a result, he can say “That is why we never give up” (2 Corinthians 4:16 NLT).

You and I can move ahead by depending upon a bravery given to us by God. He enables us to move forward as we confidently trust in him to supply us with the stamina we need.

* Are you overwhelmed by financial stress? Today, he will enable you to move forward.

* Are you discouraged by the behavior of one of your children? Today, he will enable you to move forward.

* Are you dealing with someone who is speaking badly of you, damaging your relationships with others whom you deeply care about? Today, he will enable you to move forward.

* Are you tired and exhausted from serving the congregation, with its many difficult issues? Today, he will enable you to move forward.

A Simple Tool That Can Make a Huge Difference

Sometimes you may not know what to do. Yet, if you are like many of us, you may continue to approach the problem in the same way again and again, getting the same futile results.

I was frustrated with one of our children. So what did I do? I raised my voice and began to explain and explain and explain some more. The result? Nothing really changed.

When a similar situation happened again, I did the same thing. Explain, explain, and explain some more. Finally Charlotte said, “I don’t think this is working very well.” Of course, she was exactly right!

On another occasion, I was scheduled to make a presentation in the elders’ meeting. I made my presentation and waited for their response. They were silent and just stared at me. So — I continued explaining and explaining assuming that they just needed more information.

It may be helpful to process these various situations instead of simply repeating our approach each time. A reflective practice, either done by yourself or with another person, can be very helpful toward becoming more effective in these conversations. You and I might ask the following questions:

* What worked? On one occasion, I made a presentation to a group of elders that seemed to fall flat until I showed a short video of the proposal. It occurred to me later that what they needed was not more explanation but the capacity to picture or envision what I was talking about.

* What didn’t work? I used way too much information and explanation. (This sounds like a reoccurring theme, doesn’t it?)

* What might I do differently next time? I could ask a few questions of these people instead of overwhelming them with information and explanation. Or, perhaps I could give them a few examples of how life might work better. Maybe I could communicate how this particular project actually connects with some important values these people already hold.

If You Want Significant Growth Pay Attention to Your Interior Life

We played basketball that day and the game was intense. We were all in our 20s and occasionally played half-court games together. That day, we were playing on a cement court. At one point, during this game, I remember landing on my feet and feeling a sharp pain in my left knee.

The next day, I called my doctor and he sent me to an orthopedic surgeon. I came in for my appointment and they took numerous x-rays. Eventually, the doctor came in with the results of the x-rays and began to explain what he saw. I had torn a ligament that could only be repaired by surgery.

As I looked at my knee, everything appeared normal, except for the swelling. Yet, this swelling and the x-rays told my doctor there was something wrong within the knee.

In some ways this serves as a metaphor for my own life. My exterior world may look pretty normal. Yet, further examination may reveal much about my interior world - my spiritual health.

If my interior world were to be examined what would be revealed?

* Are there “hidden” behaviors that have cost you the respect of your spouse or your co-workers?

* Is there a contempt for certain people that needs to be brought before the Lord?

* Would my heart reveal a rationalization for ungodly behavior because I have been hurt by another?

* Is there a behavior of mine that I have rationalized because it is “just the way I am.”

I was in conversation with a church leader. The person mentioned the name of a minister who had served churches for a number of years. He went on to mention some of the fine qualities of this minister. He then said, “Of course, he’s got quite a temper.” He went on to describe relationships that had been wrecked and an influence that had been diminished due to his temper. It really matters whether or not we deal with our interior world - our attitudes, our behaviors, and our rationalizations.

A Few Next Steps

* Before critiquing others, I need to first examine my own life. What is there in my interior life that needs attention?

* Are there regular themes that keep coming up and perhaps are communicated to me by my spouse or friends? (i.e. - my lack of follow through, my tendency to over-commit, my curt behavior in meetings, etc.)

* What is one small thing I could do to move forward in the area that really needs attention?

Consider These Words (Especially for ministers and other church leaders) (1 of 2)

1. Preaching– So many preachers will tell you that it is difficult to preach in this culture. At the same time, many people long for a sense of direction and purpose. This is such a challenge. Let us appreciate and encourage any preacher who takes this challenge seriously. This is not easy.

2. Spiritual formation - Every book, podcast, video, social media all serve to form us in some way. The question is, “What am I becoming?” or “What are we becoming?” Are we intentional about what we are being shaped to be or are we just allowing the forces around us to shape us as they will?

3.  Emotional maturity – (Ed Friedman and many others)  Learn to function in a way that is not emotionally reactive to people in our congregations.  One challenge I faced as a minister was avoiding being enmeshed with some people so that I lose my voice or cut myself off from those who were different from me.

The challenges was in learning to (a) Stay connected (b) Remain calm and (c) Get very clear about what I believe and what is important to me.

4.  Family/marriage – How well were you prepared for what you would deal with as a ministry family? Am I (as a minister or elder) investing in my marriage? Is this a marriage that models joy or are we simply enduring one another while we rear our children and serve this church?

5.  Loneliness and isolation – Seems like this is pretty common for ministers at one time or another.  I have talked with very few ministers who at one time or another have not faced loneliness and isolation. At such times, it can be tempting - very tempting - to look for emotional get-aways (these can come in the form of an affair, pornography, drugs/alcohol, etc.) These are never solutions. Rather they typically lead a person into an even larger or deeper pit.

Etcetera - Thoughts/Reading/Listening

I watched this story below. A community rallies to help two boys. I was teary-eyed at the end. With so much apathy and chaos in the world, this was refreshing.

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

Hard Work? - Yes - But Don’t Forget This Essential

Sometimes you may wonder if your effort really matters. I’ve certainly wondered this at times.

I served as a minister for almost four decades before moving to Memphis almost nine years ago to work with Harding School of Theology. The previous twenty years were spent serving a congregation in Waco, Texas.

Throughout these years, I always had a list. Usually, I had multiple lists. I had a list of people to see, of tasks to be done, and people to call. Yet, sometimes even my best efforts felt small and inadequate.

I worked hard as a minister. Sometimes I could see results. Sometimes I could not. Yet, I learned, I was also called to wait. Far too often I was ready to work hard but showed less enthusiasm about waiting for the Lord. After all, sometimes the fruit of this labor ( as a parent, as a faithful Christian in business, or as a minister) may not be apparent for years or even in your lifetime.

Parenting requires a lot of waiting. Ministry requires a lot of waiting. Serving the Lord requires a lot of waiting.

So, we labor and wait.

Author, Austin Kleon wrote the following recently:

Labor and wait, I thought, sounds like the writing process.

You write something, then you put it in the drawer and wait until tomorrow to pull it out and see if it’s any good.

You put together a book proposal, then you send it out and wait to see if anybody buys it.

You finish a draft of your manuscript, then you email it to your editor and wait to see what they think.

You publish a book, and you wait to see if anybody reads it.

This also sounds like the life of a believer who desires to be faithful in making a kingdom difference. We labor and wait.

* Are you a parent? You labor and wait. You love, give, serve, encourage, correct, guide, etc. Then, you wait. You may see the fruit of your labor - you may not.

* Are you a Christian woman/man in business? You labor and wait. You seek to be salt, leaven, and light in your business and to make a real kingdom difference. You may see the fruit of your labor - you may not.

* Are you a minister? You labor and wait. You do your best to serve the church. You may see the fruit of your labor - you may not.

We labor — that is, we love, serve, and obey. We may see results in our lifetime or we may not. Remember Hebrews 11? These people lived by faith. They labored and then they waited. So many of them died, not seeing the promises come to pass in their lifetime (11:13). Yet, we wait today with hope because God is faithful.

As a man, a father, and a minister, I can reflect on my life and ask, “Did I do any good?” Yet, this is not the question. A better question is, “Am I willing to labor and wait?”

Kleon refers to the words of Henry Longfellow from the close of “A Psalm of Life” written after the death of his wife.

Let us, then, be up and doing,With a heart for any fate;Still achieving, still pursuing,Learn to labor and to wait.

This Can Help You Make Even Better Decisions

We were in a meeting and I spoke. What I said was mostly negative. Later, I regretted being so negative.

The facilitator had been doing a good job moving the conversation along. But, I had allowed my inward frustrations to bubble up and come out with some very negative statements.

I had wasted an important moment to make a positive difference.

Author Austin Kleon said that one of the most important questions we can ask regarding most any decision is: “Will this enlarge me or diminish me?” (Austin Kleon, February 5, 2022)

Have you ever handled a situation poorly and then realized that your behavior was really beneath you? There are behaviors and actions that have a way of diminishing us. They do nothing to form and shape us into a godly people. For example, there are two attitudes I can express that sometimes leave me feeling diminished and uninspired:

* Complaining. Some of us tend to focus on the inadequacies and shortcomings of whatever situation is in front of us. As a result, we complain, complain, and complain some more.

* Negativity. You may find yourself focusing on the negative. “That won’t work.” “I don’t like that.” “We can’t do that.” You and I may focus on what is lacking or what doesn’t measure up. For example, perhaps you visit friends who have just purchased a house. You come away focusing on the inadequacy and the shortcomings of your own house.

When I complain a lot or am primarily focused on the negative, I often feel disappointed in my behavior. I’m not thinking aspirational thoughts. I’m not thinking about the impact of my words or actions. Instead, I focus on what is wrong.

Yet, our minds, hearts, and thinking can be enlarged by the way we think or speak. We may even find that we experience a fresh energy.

* You saw a customer speak to a clerk rudely, leaving her in tears. You spoke kindly to the clerk acknowledging the customer’s poor behavior. You felt good that you had validated the way the woman felt and lifted her spirits.

* You tried to encourage a little boy, the child of a single mom, who was playing in his first baseball game. He seemed to listen to every word you said.

* You read a book which captured your heart and mind. You were sad to see it end. You felt enriched after having read it.

* You took a trip to another country. You saw how other people lived, what they ate, and how they lived. The experience was enriching.

Bottom line: What does my presence bring to another? Would that person say that I basically complain and gripe a lot? Or would that person say that he/she is encouraged or enriched by my presence?

When You Long to Go Home

Sometimes, I long to be a boy again.

I grew up in one house in southeast Dallas and lived there through my childhood. We lived on Alhambra street in a red brick house, just down the street from the KSKY radio station tower.

My memories of that house and that neighborhood are still very clear and important to me. Yet, today, I can’t find that home or even attempt to recreate it. So much has changed. The setting. The neighborhood.

Those days were a bit simpler. Pre-Internet. Pre-cell phone. Pre-computer. Things seemed safer and more secure. Yes, this was another time.

I can’t go home again. My father and mother are both deceased. My brother is not a little boy but a man living near DFW Airport. My sister is no little girl but a mother and grandmother with her own life. The home I remember is one that I cannot find again — at least right now. (I first began to think about this after reading Lynn Anderson’s fine book, Longing for a Homeland.)

However, it is true. Many of us yearn or long for home.

Yet, I will go home. I am one heartbeat away from going home to live in the presence of God forever. You and I may talk about this home, what it is like, etc. but for now, just know that being at home with God is the place where everything is just right.

In the meantime — you and I may experience difficulty, struggle, and pain. But this is not my destiny. I don’t have to be preoccupied with what I want to buy, experience, or do. I don’t have to create the ultimate life. Knowing that I am going home, gives me perspective.

Maybe this is what I need today. What about you?

What I Wish More Church Members Knew About Their Minister (Especially for ministers and other church leaders)

I was thinking recently about some of the wonderful ministers I know. These people, for a variety of reasons, often describe their ministries over the last two and half years (since the beginning of COVID-March 2020) as “very hard” or “exhausting.” The following are the thoughts of one minister (me). Perhaps you will resonate with at least a few of these.

I wish more church members knew the difficulty of their minister’s work. Now of course, I am not suggesting that ministers are the only people who work hard. Of course not! Yet, most of the ministers I know do work very hard.  When I was a young minister, I remember hearing the old line about preachers working one hour a week. (Seemed like each person who told me this tired old line thought it was still funny.) I realized, at some point, that some of these people really had no idea what I was doing all week.  

I wish more church members knew the cost of their hurtful and frustrating remarks. Yes, a minister ought to have a tender heart and thick skin. At the same time, this does not give church members permission to be rude or passive-aggressive in what they say.

We were seconds away from beginning our morning service.  I was standing at the front of our auditorium, about to welcome the church, when a lady in the third pew said aloud to me “I am so angry with you!”  I was not expecting this.  I paused for a few moments to collect my wits.  Her comment spoken at that moment, felt like someone had let the air out of my spirit for the morning.  

I wish more church members knew how difficult it is to preach week after week.  Someone asked me a few years ago, “Jim, how do you come up with new and fresh material each week?”  Whatever he saw in my preaching reflected many hours of prayer, paying attention to the congregation and culture, reading, and intentional personal growth.  It takes a lot of work to preach week after week. Most preachers I know do not quickly put together a message for Sunday. To preach for any length of time takes far more work than some might realize.

I wish more church members knew that their minister probably needs encouragement.  In many congregations, there are people who are generally very encouraging to their preacher. Yet, many of us (including some elders) may underestimate just how important this is. 

Sometimes preachers can become overwhelmed by the number of troubled people, those in crisis, and others with chronic issues who make up a congregation. On top of this are funerals and weddings. Add to this, those few in the congregation who have are the regular critics. (Author Steve Cuss refers to them as the “usual suspects.”)  

Yet, in far too many congregations, the people who love their preacher and appreciate his ministry remain silent.  They don’t criticize.  They don’t praise.  They say absolutely nothing.   If you appreciate the person who is preaching to your church each week, encouragement in some form can mean so much. Again, these people often need more encouragement than we may realize.

Listening and Reading Resources

* I listened to an excellent interview as David French and Curtis Chang as they interview Dr. Karen Swallow Prior. She speaks about social media and its impact on reading among other things.

* I may have already mentioned this book but just in case I haven’t, I am reading Stuck: Why Clergy are Alienated from Their Calling, Congregation, and Career . . . and What to Do about it. The authors are two sociologists, Todd W. Ferguson and Josh Packard.

* Have listened to about half of historian David McCullough’s fine book The Greater Journey: Americans in Paris. I don’t know if it is his voice or his storytelling ability but I always enjoy hearing his audio books.

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

The List of Five

Dare to Bring Your Empty Hands

I was in middle school in a small Christian school. Many of us had been together since the very early grades. A girl who had been in our class moved away to another state. The following year, she wrote a letter to the class. A teacher read it aloud. In her letter, she mentioned how much she missed ”everyone” naming more than a few classmates.

I remember feeling embarrassed and exposed when the letter ended and my name was not mentioned. Of course, being a self-conscious and insecure adolescent has a way of heightening the importance of even the smallest event. (Please don’t read this thinking I have moved past all self-consciousness and insecurity. I haven’t.)

On that day, I was focused on my name - on hearing my name.

My name has evolved. My birth certificate says that my name is “James.” As a child, both at home and at school, I was called “Jimmy.“ At some point early in college, my name became “Jim.” Yet, today on most personal legal documents, I sign “James.” One day when I die, the name on my headstone in the cemetery will probably be “James.”

Your name is known by the living God. You are precious to him. He has the most intimate knowledge of your life, even down to knowing how many hairs are on your head (Mt. 10:30).

He says to his people (Isaiah 41:10):

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

He knows your name, your thoughts, your feelings, and yes, all that you have said or done. Yet, even with full knowledge of who you are, he still desires a close, intimate relationship with you, through his son Jesus. To each one of us, he still says, “Come” (John 6:35).

Maybe it is just me, but at times, I have shown more concern as to what others might think about me than what God might think about me. Can you relate to this?

I may want others to know that I am worth knowing. Examples:

* I may perceive myself as important. Look at my title. Look at my network. Look at my important job.

* I may perceive myself as someone who ought to be noticed in some way. For some people this means hoping that others might see them as attractive, handsome, youthful, desirable, etc.

* I may perceive myself as successful. Look at my salary, my car, my house. Look at the neighborhood we live in. Look at what I’ve done in my life and where I’ve been.

Perhaps this is our attempt to stay in control and create the image we want. Yet, this way of managing our lives is typically a dead-end street.

What if instead, we looked to God as the source of the nourishment and life that we need? Know this:

* God carries you in his arms and holds you close to his heart (Isa. 40:11). Just listen to the affection he has for you! God is with you! God wants your empty hands.

* God will give strength to you and me when we are weary and will bless us in our weakness (Isa. 40:28-29). Unlike myself, he is not stressed or tired. Don’t try to prove how strong you are! God wants your empty hands.

* God encourages us not to fear. He will help us and uphold us (Isa. 41:13). God wants your empty hands.

Sometimes, very early in the morning, I hold my empty, outstretched hands in front of me as I pray. This is a reminder to me that I have no room for pride in approaching God but am completely dependent on his provision. Yet, this awareness is exactly what God wants from me — and you.

How Do You Deal With Challenges?

I watched at the way this leader functioned with the group. Instead of inspiring confidence, he created more anxiety. He had a nervous laugh that often came out at inappropriate times. If there was a problem that needed to be addressed, his language sometimes escalated the situation. He regularly referred to various organizational problems as “disasters” or “tragedies.” This only served to heighten the anxiety of the group.

Meanwhile, I watched as another person led a group. He had a calming effect on the group and led these people in effective problem solving. He listened well, inspired hope, and was very effective.

“Why is it that certain people seem to naturally inspire confidence, loyalty, and hard work, while others (who may have just as much vision and smarts) stumble, again and again?” Warren Bennis and Robert J. Thomas asked this question in their article, “Crucibles of Leadership” (Harvard Business Review - 2002). They concluded that the answer was found in how these leaders dealt with extreme physical or psychological challenges. Bennis and Thomas observed:

One of the most reliable indicators and predictors of true leadership is an individual’s ability to find meaning in negative events and to learn from even the most trying circumstances. Put another way, the skills required to conquer adversity and emerge stronger and more committed than ever are the same ones that make for extraordinary leaders.

Whether we perceive ourselves to be leaders or not, we need to be aware of how we tend to deal with adversity.

How do we respond to these life challenges?

* Physical/health challenges (chronic pain, a debilitating illness)

* Marital challenges (deception, affairs, perhaps the commitment on the part of one or both spouses is waning)

* Financial challenges (job loss, living above our means, poor investments)

* Emotional challenges (depression, intense anxiety)

* Spiritual challenges (deep wounds from a church quarrel, an unexpected death)

Will we respond with faith? Will we develop the grit, stamina, and perseverance that comes from trusting God in the middle of these challenges?

When facing adversity:

* Bring the adversity before God in prayer naming the problem and honestly expressing it’s impact on you.

How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? (Psalm 13:1-2)

* Yes, pray for relief. But let us also pray that we might allow this adversity to form us into God-like people.

* Let us trust in God’s “unfailing love” (Ps. 13:5) Our adversity does not change God’s character. His unfailing love is still present.

* Know that the Lord’s goodness will ultimately prevail. We can praise him for his goodness (Ps. 13:5-6).

I suspect you know everything I have just mentioned. There is no “secret” to dealing with adversity or challenges. Rather, we need to go back to what we might know and allow our souls to be shaped by this God-centered perspective.

A Moment That Inspires Me to Be Kind

Did you see the video of the Little League pitcher who hit an opposing batter in the head with a pitch? This took place at the Little League Southwest Regional Championship in Waco, Texas. The 12 year old batter, Isaiah Jarvis was hit by a baseball in the head, leaving him lying on the ground. The pitcher, Kaiden Shelton, was clearly shaken.

Isaiah was apparently ok and made his way to first base to the applause of the crowd. Then seeing that Kaiden was shaken, Isaiah left first base and made his way to the pitcher’s mound. He hugged this opposing player and attempted to console him. They appeared together the next morning in an interview on CNN:

"I wanted to go over there and spread God's love and make sure that he's OK, and make sure that he knows that I'm OK and that I'll be OK," Isaiah told CNN Wednesday morning, appearing on "New Day" alongside Kaiden.

"Hey, you're doing great," Isaiah said in a video that's gained widespread attention as strangers everywhere have praised the young man's show of sportsmanship.

"It felt like he cared," Kaiden said when asked about Isaiah's hug. "I also cared about him, and that just showed that baseball is sportsmanship -- there's a lot of sportsmanship in baseball.”

You might watch this video (below) even if you have already seen the actual scene from the game. In this video, both players talk about the moment.

The video went viral. I think there is something in us that longs to see goodness in most any form. On that day, it was in the form of sportsmanship.

Perhaps this is a reminder to not pass up opportunities for kindness. This week, we may just have such an opportunity.

Our Present Opportunity (especially for ministers and other church leaders)

Frederick Buechner died recently. Buechner, a prolific author, was someone whom I read regularly as a young minister. I first became acquainted with Buchner’s work many years ago at a preaching conference where a speaker read from Buechner’s book Telling the Truth (p. 23):

The preacher pulls the little cord that turns on the lectern light and deals out his note cards like a riverboat gambler. The stakes have never been higher. Two minutes from now he may have lost his listeners completely to their own thoughts, but at this minute he has them in the palm of his hand. The silence in the shabby church is deafening because everybody is listening to it. Everybody is listening including even himself. Everybody knows the kinds of things he has told them before and not told them, but who knows what this time, out of the silence, he will tell them?

The quote is a reminder that the preaching moment matters.

If you preach, you are in some way attempting to help people discover or re-discover God. (Even if you are not a “preacher” but you are a Christ-follower, the same is true.)

At times, the preacher may feel sluggish and tired, but the preaching moment matters. There are times when the preacher may feel discouraged and down. Even then the preaching moment matters.

My nourishment will probably not come from the next great idea about church or the story that is sure to get a laugh.

Maybe the very best thing I can do, when I don’t have much “left in my tank” is to sink my roots deep into Scripture or another resource that will point me to God. My nourishment will come as I sink my roots down into the character, goodness, and grace of God and quietly remain there. (As my good friend, Mike, recently noted, more ministers need to return to the writings of people like Eugene Peterson.)

Right now, we can keep on discovering God and his son Jesus Christ. Then as we preach or teach, we help those whom we serve, discover this same God.

Reading and Listening Resources

* I recently finished reading Jay Kim’s book, Analog Christian: Cultivating Contentment, Resilience, and Wisdom in the Digital Age. The book is a refreshing call to life with the fruit of the Spirit.

* I am also listening to David McCullough’s book (audio) The Greater Journey: Americans in Paris. What a wonderful book!

* Scott Sauls has written an excellent article, “Some Indispensable Things I’ve Learned From Tim Keller,” (June 19, 2020).

* Be sure to read the outstanding article by David Brooks on Frederick Buechner. See “The Man Who Found His Inner Depths” in The New York Times, August 18, 2022.

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

The List of Five

Feeling Weak? This can be is a Game-Changer

I recently saw a 2019 tweet from Beth Moore that got my attention. She wrote:

The weakest person praying is stronger than the mightiest one who’s not.

You may believe, at times, that you are a weak, blundering, child of God. Yet, when you pray, you may actually be stronger than the smug, self-assured person who does not pray.

I was a young minister in Pulaski, Tennessee serving a small “store-front” church on Minor Hill Highway. This little group met in a former convenience store. Now, in a matter of about 42 months, I had graduated from a state university, moved from Dallas to Alabama, married, studied at a Bible college for a few years, and began preaching in a small town in middle Tennessee.

Just years earlier, I had no intention of serving as a minister or preaching anywhere. Fast forward, I was now was serving this congregation as its “preacher.”

One woman in the church, Mary Cordell, had a great influence on both Charlotte and myself. In casual conversation, she spoke often about her prayer life. She talked about God and how he had answered so many prayers in her life. I sensed this woman, several decades older than me, had a far greater daily dependence on God than me.

I never forgot these conversations. I realized that in prayer, I had great resources from God available to me and the congregation. I began to treasure verses like Psalm 121:1-2

I lift up my eyes to the mountains - where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

After a few years in Pulaski, we moved to Texas so that I could go to seminary. Yet, I continued to think about these conversations with this woman. She helped awaken me to the gift of being able to pray to a good, powerful, and faithful God!

When you reflect upon your faith, you may see in yourself everything that is lacking. You may see weakness, inadequacy and smallness. You may see your blunders and inconsistencies. You may focus on your immaturity and failure to have grown beyond where you are. Does this sound familiar? (Do I ever relate!)

Yet, Jesus sees you through very different eyes. You are his child and he welcomes your prayer and mine. He wants our dependance.

His invitation to you and me? Come. “The Spirit and the bride say, “Come!” And let the one who hears say, “Come!” Let the one who is thirsty come; and let the one who wishes take the free gift of the water of life” (Revelation 22:17)

One Thing You Don’t Want to Miss

Do you ever feel as if you are missing out?

If you spend enough time scrolling through social media sites, such as Facebook or Instagram, you may be convinced that you really are missing out. In a matter of seconds, you see pictures of a couple vacationing in Paris. You scroll down and see a family enjoying an unbelievable trip to an exotic beach. You may see pictures of engagements, happy weddings, amazing food in expensive restaurants, or a stay in a hotel with a stunning view of New York. And then, just before you turn off your phone, you look at one last picture - your smiling friend and her new luxury car. You may feel as if you are missing out.

Some may fear they are missing out on what others are experiencing and conclude they are missing something fundamental in their lives.

Much has been said about the fear of missing out that is present in this culture. In an article entitled, “How to Deal With FOMO in Your Life,” author, Elizabeth Scott writes:

The fear of missing out refers to the feeling or perception that others are having more fun, living better lives, or experiencing better things than you are. . . . It is often exacerbated by social media sites like Instagram and Facebook.

Scott goes on to explain,

FOMO is not just the sense that there might be better things that you could be doing at this moment, but it is the feeling that you are missing out on something fundamentally important that others are experiencing right now.

Yet, Jesus’ value is so great and his life is so satisfying that you and I can know we are experiencing the ultimate - his life. If we have that life, we can know we may not possess something others may have, but we are not missing the ultimate.

Charlotte and I sat with a couple in their living room. She was on the couch and invited us to join her. He sat in a nearby chair. They had called us earlier and asked us to come to their house. Now, they seemed quiet - very quiet.

Finally, she began to speak. “The doctor has discovered cancer in my body. This cancer is very advanced.”

Then she said, “I want you to pray for me, that I may not miss anything that God wants to do through me in this cancer.” Of course, she wanted to have her good health again. Of course she wanted to be well. However, her main concern was that she might not miss out on what God, through his grace, might do through her for his glory.

What is it that you really, really don’t want to miss?

For me, it is the life than goes far beyond existing. It is the life offered by Jesus, a life that is full, whole, and complete (John 6: 25-58). This life means you never have to settle.

A Key to Becoming Who You Want to Be

James Clear wrote in Atomic Habits: “Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.”

So what kind of person do I want to become?

* A devoted follower of Jesus?

* A Christ-like father or mother?

* A person who finishes this life well?

The small actions matter.

Small actions can add to the formation of the kind of person I want to become. For example, I really want to finish well. Far too many people do well in their early adult years or middle adult years, only to fizzle out later or make a series of poor choices. One woman said regarding her mother. “All her life she taught us to be a certain kind of person. Her children are grown and she has grandchildren. Yet, she now is living the kind of life she warned us against when we were younger.”

If I want to finish well, this means I make the “little decisions” that are in line with who I want to be.

* Are my social media habits (what I read and what I post) in line with who I say I want to be?

* Does my attitude, whether displayed at church or at the Home Depot return counter, reflect the kind of person I want to become?

* Am I investing time and energy toward becoming this kind of person or do I tend to be passive, assuming this formation will just happen?

Ten or fifteen years from now, what kind of woman or man do you want to be? What would you like to model before your children and grandchildren? What legacy do you wish to leave with them?

Consequently, today matters:

* Take the small step. It matters. For example, if you want to be a more gracious person, take a small step. Today, handle some situation in a way that you think fits someone who is becoming gracious.

* Now consider other conversations or situations that you will encounter. How would a gracious handle each one of these? What is a small step you might take in each situation?

How to Trust God Even When You Are Anxious (Especially for ministers and church leaders)

I was particularly nervous that Sunday morning.  I had been preaching for a congregation in Waco, Texas, for about a year. At the conclusion of the sermon that morning, I would make a difficult announcement to the church.

I had learned days before that I had a large tumor on my spine.  I was to have surgery in the middle of June (1994).  The surgery meant opening my chest.  Never having had surgery before, all of this was a new experience.  The doctor thought the tumor was benign. Nevertheless, because of the location of the tumor, there would be a neurosurgeon present in addition to the general surgeon.  I was nervous.

That Sunday morning, I told the congregation I was about to have surgery and that, according to the surgeon, I would be recovering most of the summer. I would not be preaching or even be present at church for six or seven weeks. 

I then said:

I am cautiously optimistic and scared to death.

I told the congregation I would appreciate their prayers. I spoke of trusting God and leaving this in God’s hands.

The church was so encouraging and supportive.  That morning, they prayed for us and communicated their love for our family.

Meanwhile, a former minister was present that morning and heard my announcement.  During lunch, he called our home and asked if we could meet that afternoon. I did not know him well but he was older and I assumed he simply wanted to pray for me. Later in the afternoon, I met with him and was taken aback by what he said:

You shouldn’t have told the church that you were “scared to death.”  They must not know this.  They need to hear that you trust God.

I told him that I do trust God!  I trust that he will be with me through this whole ordeal.  Nevertheless, my emotions are raw and yes, I am afraid and nervous.  Yet, I do trust God.

Days later, I had the surgery and yes, the tumor was benign. Nevertheless, I learned much about trusting God even when my emotions were raw.

As believers, we learn that we can trust God regardless of our emotional state. We can trust God even when there are obstacles and hurdles. We can trust his goodness, his power, and his wisdom!

Courage is not about putting on a brave face or pretending that nothing fazes you.  Courage is daring to trust God, even when your emotions tell you otherwise. Most ministers I know experience really tough seasons. Through it all, we are challenged to trust God.

Right now, in your ministry, where do you need to trust God? I love the closing words of Habakkuk (3:17-19) as he reminds us all that God is larger than our problems. Again, he is a good, loving, wise, God who has us in the palm of his hand:

Though the fig tree does not bud    and there are no grapes on the vines,though the olive crop fails    and the fields produce no food,though there are no sheep in the pen    and no cattle in the stalls,18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord,    I will be joyful in God my Savior.

19 The Sovereign Lord is my strength;    he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,    he enables me to tread on the heights.

Reading and Listening

* David Brooks wrote “How to Find Out Who You Are” in The New York Times, July 28, 2022. Very thoughtful piece worth reading.

* See the article, “Reading Better” by Shane Parish. Perhaps one value of this article is that it challenged me to think about how I read.

* Cary Nieuwhof and Rich Villodas had an interesting conversation (podcast) regarding the “new exodus in church attendance” and other issues. Church leaders in particular might benefit from this.

* Had a wonderful lunch last week with a friend who mentioned the influence of Francis Schaffer on his life. This week I have been thinking about his influence on my own life, particularly when I was in college. I love this quote from No Little People:

“The central problem of our age is not liberalism or modernism, nor the old Roman Catholicism or the new Roman Catholicism, nor the threat of communism, nor even the threat of rationalism and the monolithic consensus which surrounds us. All these are dangerous but not the primary threat. The real problem is this: the church of the Lord Jesus Christ, individually corporately, tending to do the Lord’s work in the power of the flesh rather than of the Spirit. The central problem is always in the midst of the people of God, not in the circumstances surrounding them.”

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

The List of Five

Critical Step: Continue to Learn into the Future

Early one morning, I was about to meet an older, more experienced minister for breakfast. He was a guest speaker at a ministry conference in a nearby city.

I was a young husband, father, and minister. I had met this person briefly and he was gracious enough to spend this early morning hour with me. I had carefully thought through a few questions that I wanted to ask.

You and I may be most alive when we continue to be curious about God, life, and other people. We may be most alive when we are learning. We can ask questions. We can listen. We can think.

As a young minister, I knew I had much to learn. Every sermon series, every family crisis, and every discussion reminded me there was more to learn. Often, I learned that an issue or subject was far more complicated than I previously thought.

In those early years, I began a practice of intentionally learning from others. I would ask for a conversation, perhaps coffee or lunch, and come prepared with questions. These conversation partners included business people, community leaders, a social worker, a school teacher, a professor, a coach, and many ministers. What I learned through these conversations has been invaluable.

The following are a few examples of these men and women:

* Spoke to a retired dean and college professor. I wanted to learn how this person approached life and work. I was particularly interested in how he remained cheerful, well into retirement.

* Spoke to an older businessperson who at one time experienced a great degree of success and notoriety. However, as a young man, he made a series of poor choices that cost him greatly. He admonished me to have different priorities than his. He shared with me how he had lost his way.

* Spoke to a labor union representative in an area of the country that was severely impacted by economic woes. He spoke of the effect of this hardship on people. One of his union members had been arrested for breaking into a house and stealing. The man stole meat from a freezer to feed his family. He had lost his job and felt desperate.

* Spoke with an older couple regarding an issue with one of our children. Their children were grown and they even had grandchildren. We asked them numerous questions regarding navigating the middle-school and high-school years.

Today, I still continue this practice, though not quite as frequently. No matter the age, you and I can continue learning. Yes, we have learned some valuable lessons, however it is important that we continue to learn. Regardless of age or life’s work, we can learn by simply being intentional and humble. For me, this practice has been a critical step toward staying fully alive.

Is there one person in your life from whom you could learn something of value?

Make Your Morning a Time of Intention

Early each morning, I begin my day with coffee, my Bible, and prayer. Yes, there are other practices which I find helpful, however, time in my Bible and prayer are the two most important. And - of course coffee! (Often Peet’s Major Dickson’s blend)

The following are five things I attempt to do each day. Each day . . .

* . . . I want to be intentional about the object of my attention. Am I fully present with others or am I glued to my phone? Sometimes I give far too much attention to things that do not matter. Can you relate to this?

* . . . I want to make someone else’s day better by my presence or my words.

* . . . I want help lighten someone else’s load. Perhaps I can look for a practical opportunity to be helpful.

* . . . I want to brighten someone’s day with a smile. Life is often hard and a smile can make someone’s day brighter.

* . . . I want to encourage another. So many people experience road blocks, obstacles, and various challenges. Some feel very alone. A word of encouragement can be significant.

What would you add? You may have a very different list. If we were having coffee this morning, I would love to see your list.

Choose to Become More Gracious

If you want to stand out in this world, try becoming a more gracious person.

Across the culture, you can find angry, outraged people. Some may seem ready to cut you off because you don’t agree with them.

In contrast, a gracious person embodies the grace of God. These are not the people who with their snarky comments put down others. These are not the people who seem to always find fault.

Rather, these are people who live out the beauty of grace. They embody grace.

Gracious. Perhaps this word might be reserved for people who recognize they have been given much. Such people approach others much like God in Jesus - full of grace and truth. 

So what is a gracious person?

* A gracious person is slow to take credit and quick to lavish praise.  This person looks for opportunities to affirm and bless.  He lavishes praise on those who are often taken for granted.  A gracious person is slow to remind others of his own success.  

* A gracious person never seeks to embarrass another.  Humiliating another is not in this person's vocabulary.  She does not say something to embarrass another and then try to escape responsibility by saying, "I was only joking."  A gracious person receives no pleasure in seeing someone else squirm in discomfort or embarrassment. 

* A gracious person thanks others regularly.  Are there several people you need to thank today? Is there someone you could thank by e-mail, a phone call, or even in person?

* A gracious person doesn't monopolize the conversation.  Do you tend to go on and on with your story?  Or, do you spend time and energy asking another questions and expressing interest in that person’s life? If you are in conversation for an hour, does this time reflect a healthy give and take or is it dominated by your own voice?

I once witnessed a group in conversation. A facilitator was present, in part to make sure that no person dominated the conversation. I noticed one man who appeared to be unhappy. Often, he dominated conversations but with the facilitator present, he was not allowed to do so.  

* A gracious person doesn't play "one-upmanship."  ("That's nothing.  You should have seen what I did!")  A gracious person is not threatened by the attention someone else is getting.

* A gracious person pays attention to people.  Sometimes people come away from such conversations saying, "He made me feel like I was such an important person.”  

* A gracious person desires to say what is appropriate.  She doesn’t feel compelled to express a momentary thought or impulse.  There is no redeeming value in emptying one's mind of whatever fleeting thought has landed at the moment.

* A gracious person looks out for the comfort of others.  "Would you like a cup of coffee?  What about a Coke?  Can I get you a newspaper while I'm out?" 

* A gracious person understands that he is not indispensable.  Some people desire constant attention.  They have a way of steering most any conversation toward themselves.  Yet, there is humility in realizing that you are dispensable.

* A gracious person constantly points out the good she sees.   Maybe you are visiting a friend who lives in another city.  Instead of pointing out the inadequacies of your friend's community, you call attention to what is good.  "This cafe has outstanding peach pie!"  "I just love the fountains in this city."  Gracious people look for good wherever it might be found.

Christian people are to speak and embody grace. Some people have been put off by Christians who speak of God’s grace and then treat others with an ungracious spirit.  Grace makes people gracious, not mean.  When Christians are mean-spirited or rude and manipulate people, their profession of grace carries little credibility with others. 

On the other hand, gracious people model a life that is compelling and attractive. What is an upcoming situation in which you would like to model graciousness?

Street Smarts (Especially for ministers or church leaders) - Part 2 of 2

* Early on in a ministry with a congregation, get to know the strengths of the congregation.  Ask various people in the congregation, “What are the strengths of this group?  What does this church do well?”  Ask:  “What is important to this congregation” Learn what these people seem to value.

* Be curious.  Be genuinely interested in these people and the story of this congregation.  How did they come to know Jesus? What is the story of their faith journey?

* Know that upon entering a congregation, people will often tell you various details about their lives.  They may not bring up these details again.  “Yes, we moved here after my divorce” or “My husband died suddenly two years ago.”  Listen intently and later make notes.  Otherwise, these details may become a blur within a short time.

* Credibility has to be earned.  A seminary degree may sometimes help get you in the door.  Credibility, however, has to be earned through serving and loving these people.  Pray that God will help you see opportunities to do this in practical ways with the congregation. Know that it takes time to earn credibility with a congregation but through foolish, sinful behavior this can be lost quickly.

* Be down to earth in preaching/teaching. Many people will appreciate this. Say something that is helpful or encouraging. Beware of using seminary language (words that only people who go to seminary would know). Work on clarity. It can be frustrating for people to leave church on Sunday morning not sure about what the preacher was saying. Finally, know that many people will more likely listen to what you have to say if you demonstrate a willingness to “get your hands dirty” through practical service.

Reading and Listening Resources

* For several weeks, I have been reading Colin Powell’s book on leadership, It Worked for Me. An interesting book in which Powell reflects on his career and principals he has learned.

* Stephen R. Holmes and Jonathan Woods (St. Mary’s College, University of St. Andrews), “Andrew Fuller’s Soham Farewell Sermons: Context and Text” in Baptist Quarterly 2020, Vol. 51, No 1, 2-16.

I love his remarks regarding ministry:

This is a great work and requires great power, great love, great patience! . . . He must have great love he that will undertake to carry on this work must have to carry it on in spite of oceans of ingratitude. . . . Yes, he must have the resolution not to forsake his work.

3. Finally, I love this video from Steve Hartman. A blind boy’s dream:

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

The List of Five

This is why we are here

I once served as the minister for a small church in Carbon, Texas about an hour from Abilene. This was a farming community, composed of acres and acres of peanuts. Each Sunday, Charlotte and I would drive an hour to this church, stay all day, and then drive back to the Abilene area that evening.

At the time, I was in seminary at Abilene Christian University and was taking a class under Dr. Paul Faulkner (picture below). This was a counseling class and I really looked forward to each class meeting. Dr. Faulkner had been a minister and now was a professor and a marriage and family therapist. He loved ministers and loved the church.

One day, I approached him after class with a problem. A young couple at church had asked me to preach a graveside service for their baby who had died. However, in doing so, I would miss a scheduled test. As I told him about the situation, his eyes become teary. He said, "This is why we are here. You can take the test another day."

I never forgot that moment.

“This is why we are here.”

Maybe this is something you and I need to remember as we consider how we treat our spouse, our children, and our friends.

“This is why we are here.”

How do we speak to one another when we are at home with a spouse and/or with our children? Do our words and tone convey that we value one another? Maybe we need to remember why we are here.

How do we treat one another within our congregations? Are we loving and gracious? Do we give one another the benefit of the doubt? Maybe we need to remember why we are here.

How do we behave when no one is looking? Are we more concerned about our character or the image we would like to project? Do we live holy lives? Do we live a life worth imitating? Maybe we need to remember why we are here.

I remember that moment with Dr. Faulkner. He provided clarity for me. Decades later, I have not forgotten his words.

“This is why we are here.”

Perhaps one of the best things we can do as we begin a new week is to make sure our behavior is an accurate reflection of our purpose. I want to remember why we are here.

The “Hand of the Lord” can give you stability

You are walking into a room and stumble. Perhaps you have been walking on a tile floor and the room you have just entered is carpeted. Your foot catches on the carpet and you stumble in front of everyone. For a moment you feel silly.

Sometimes when we stumble in life, we might feel silly, frustrated, or even discouraged. For example:

* A young mother feels overcommitted and yet doesn’t know how to change the pace of her life.

* A person in his late 70s feels as if he no longer has a place. As someone said to me, “I’m not sure others even want to hear what I am thinking.”

* The exhausted minister is not sure he has the stamina, energy, or desire to continue serving the congregation in that particular role.

* A woman has put so much effort into her marriage. Yet, her effort seems to be met with apathy by her husband. Feeling defeated, she says, “What’s the use?”

Do any of these sound familiar to you?

I love these words from Ezra 7:27-28:

Praise be to the Lord, the God of our ancestors, who has put it into the king’s heart to bring honor to the house of the Lord in Jerusalem in this way and who has extended his good favor to me before the king and his advisers and all the king’s powerful officials. Because the hand of the Lord my God was on me, I took courage and gathered leaders from Israel to go up with me.

The Lord’s presence can give you and me the courage to move forward. Courage is not about finally mustering up the gumption to move ahead. Rather, it is about recognizing that God is with you as you take the next right step in your life. His hand is on you as you do what is right in your marriage, with your children, in your work, and in your congregation.

Navigating life is not totally dependent on you. His hand is on you and will steady you. He will enable you.

Finally, a prayer for anyone who might be discouraged:

O God, almighty and merciful, you heal the broken-hearted, and turn the sadness of the sorrowful to joy, Let your fatherly goodness be upon all whom you have made. Remember in pity all those who are this day destitute, homeless, elderly, infirm, or forgotten. Bless the multitude of your poor. Lift up those who are cast down. Mightily befriend innocent sufferers, and sanctify to them the endurance of their wrongs. Cheer with hope all who are discouraged and downcast, and by your heavenly grace persevere from falling those whose poverty tempts them to sin. Though they be troubled on every side, suffer them not to be distressed; though they are perplexed, save them from despair. Grant this, O Lord, for the love of him who for our sakes became poor, your Son our Savior Jesus Christ. Amen. (Book of Common Prayer, pp. 663-664)

Trust God - (period)

A number of you mentioned to me how much you appreciated the Ernie Johnson video in Encouragement Note #60. (Ernie Johnson is the long-time host of “Inside the NBA”) I want to include one more video. These nine minutes of self-reflection are inspiring. You may find this helpful as you reflection on the condition and direction of you own life.

Street Smarts (Especially for ministers or church leaders) - Part 1 of 2

* Are you serving a congregation as a minister or a leader in some way? Know that you are dear to Jesus. Even if no one else acknowledges the worth and value of your ministry, Jesus does. You and your ministry matter.

* A minister may have a sterling theological education and exceptional ministry gifts. This person may be networked, knowing many people perceived to be important. However, there is nothing more important than staying needy before the Lord, recognizing our absolute dependance on Him.

* As a minister, in a very hard church situation, I asked - “How do I keep doing this?” The good news: “God will provide.” His powerful indwelling presence will enable and empower you to serve through hard times. And — if you serve a church long enough, you will know hard times.

* Preaching doesn’t have to be loud, demonstrative, or theatrical. However, there must be something that demonstrates that in some way you have a fire in your belly. In some way, you are preaching as if this is critical for others to hear. No cavalier attitude but passion!

* Some of the calmest people I know are under great pressure. Yes, ministry can be hard. However, these people tend to have a deep reliance on God. They also are able to navigate in anxious, troubled waters without taking on the anxiety of others. They manage themselves.

If this particular encouragement note is helpful to you in a specific way, I would love to hear from you - jmartin9669@gmail.com.

Reading and Listening Resources

* “If You Are Looking For Valuable Lessons On Life, Read Biographies” by Thomas Oppong, Medium, June 29, 2022. Very good.

* I am presently reading STUCK: Why Clergy Are Alienated from Their Calling, Congregation, and Career…and What to Do about It by sociologists Todd W. Ferguson and Josh Packard. An insightful book.

* “After COVID: Unhappiness Is Worse Among Single and Non-Religious Americans” from the Institute for Family Studies, June 29, 2022. (Thanks to Kelly Roberts for this reference.)

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

Welcome to this Encouragement Note. If something is helpful to you, I would love to hear from you (jmartin9669@gmail.com).

The List of Five

When Fear Gets in the Way (a few suggestions for dealing with our fears)

At times, most people I know (including myself) wrestle with fear. Yet, repeatedly the Bible says, “Do not be afraid.”  

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  (Isa. 41:10)

Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning.” (Ex. 20:20)

But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. (Isa. 43:1)

Because of my fear, I have sometimes overreacted in situations with my children. On occasions, I have allowed fear to cause me to be self-protective with my wife.  Fear has even been a part of my ministry.  As a result, God sometimes seemed smaller than what I was fearing.

Fear can get in the way of our future. Some people allow fear to cause them to seek perfectionism. Nothing is ever quite good enough.  Still others allow their fear to lead them to procrastinate.  

You may have seen what fear can do in congregations. Fear can cause church leaders to be intimidated by some who are loud and self-assured. In the meantime we might become timid, uncertain, and insecure. Fear prompts knee-jerk reactions instead of maintaining a cool head and thoughtfully pursuing a course of action. Fear may move us toward appeasement instead of a good solution.  It has a way of shifting the focus away from God whose forever presence was meant to instill courage and hope.

Consider some possible fears:

* Fearful of losing control and humiliating myself.

* Fearful of having to make a decision and being wrong.

* Fearful of having to depend on God and yet not quite sure what God is going to do.

* Fearful of being alone, of having my spouse abandon me for someone else.

* Fearful of being seen as incompetent.

* Fearful of failing and then looking silly.

* Fearful of communicating my genuine concerns and then having these dismissed as “none issues.”

* Fearful of speaking out and having no one to back me. 

As a young minister, I feared the anger and disapproval of others. At some point, I realized this was a dead-end street. After all, in a congregation, someone in the congregation typically doesn’t like something. I had to learn how to mature and grow up in terms how I functioned with others.

A few suggestions for dealing with your fears:

* Admit your fear. Confess to God that a particular situation has caused you to be fearful.

* Read Scripture, particularly texts that remind you of how large, majestic, and powerful God really is.

* Consider the times in your life when God has shown his faithfulness. Thank God for these faith building moments which have the capacity to increase your trust in him.

* Pray that you might dare to trust God, even though your problem is not resolved.

Unscripted Moments (Learn to pay attention to the subtle work of God)

As I drove across north Mississippi on highway 72, I was gripped by a compelling audio book. From Memphis to north Alabama, I listened to Ernie Johnson Jr’s book, Unscripted: The Unpredictable Moments That Make Life Extraordinary. Johnson, the father of six (four of whom are adopted), is the host of TNT’s, “Inside the NBA.” The audio book is spoken by Ernie Johnson Jr., himself.

During portions of this book, I was teary-eyed. The book is both moving and inspiring.

* Regarding a job, Johnson said “Your job is what you do, not who you are.”

* He told the story of “Michael,” a three year old boy who couldn’t walk or speak. His wife Cheryl encountered this child in a Romanian orphanage in 1991. The boy had been abandoned in a park as a baby. She and Ernie talked about the possibility of adopting him and acknowledged there would be difficult challenges. The nurse in the orphanage said, “Don’t take this boy. He’s no good.” Johnson responded with these words: “Well bring him home!” They adopted him only to then learn that he had Muscular Dystrophy.

* He spoke of a high school basketball coach, Phil Bollier, who worked to make Michael a part of his team. He thought his team could learn much from Michael about the importance of making real effort. Michael enabled Bollier to teach students in his classes about the importance of loving one another and that everyone has value.

* Throughout the book, he spoke of the importance of going “unscripted.” This includes being willing to do the unplanned and the unpredictable, as you learn to trust God.

* Finally, Ernie Johnson spoke of his own battle with cancer, discovered in 2003. He talked about the words a technician told him that meant so much: “You may have cancer but cancer doesn’t have you.” He learned to “trust God - period.” This would become his personal mantra.

I have included this book in this Encouragement Note primarily because of what Johnson says about “blackberry moments.” This was a family term that originated from a time when Johnson was eight years old, playing little league baseball.

The other team was at bat and a ball was hit over a chain link fence. Several of Johnson’s teammates began looking for the ball. However, they discovered several blackberry bushes filled with luscious blackberries. They stopped looking for the ball and ate the blackberries. Through the years, the family has talked about “blackberry moments,” the unexpected but sweet moments in life that we all need to savor. These are moments in which God seems to work through and even orchestrate the unexpected.

Do I have my eyes open for those unscripted blackberry moments? Instead of totally focusing on my challenges, could I savor the blackberry moments? Could it be that many of these moments actually reflect the subtle work of God?

* Can I savor a spur of the moment coffee time with a colleague?

* Can I savor a pleasant conversation I experienced at the grocery store?

* Can I savor a kind gesture by one of my co-workers?

Note to Self (time well spent with this 10 minute video)

I have already mentioned sportscaster Ernie Johnson. You might enjoy this excellent video which was recently shown on CBS Morning. Johnson reads his letter to his “younger self.” This is excellent!

Regarding his cancer, he wrote to his younger self, “Medicines and surgery may fix you but it is your faith, your family, and your friends who will sustain you.”

What would you write to your younger self? What would you want your younger self to know about life, marriage, a job, etc.? What would you say to your younger self about challenges and discouragements?

I encourage you to watch this beautiful video.

The Big Surprise for Me (Especially for ministers and church leaders)

It was Friday evening and I was getting ready to board a plane for a flight from Seattle to Austin. The plane was scheduled to leave at 7:00 PM but was late. Most everyone waiting to board was standing. Many of these passengers had most likely put in a full day’s work and were now getting ready for a long flight.

There was one guy in the crowd who stood out. He was talking and laughing and entertaining those around him.

He was dressed in an open collar shirt, in what appeared to be a very nice suit. He was tan, in his 50’s, and seemed very confident. I also perceived that he was doing well financially.

I watched him for a few minutes as he talked to those around him. He seemed full of himself and I decided I didn’t like him. Just like that? Yes, just like that.

Group A was called. (This was Southwest Airline. We were boarding in groups of three — groups A, B, and C). I boarded the plane and found an aisle seat near the front. Apparently, this flight was almost full. As other passengers boarded, they continued to walk by the row where I was sitting, avoiding the vacant middle seat. Maybe this middle seat might just remain empty for this flight.

A few minutes later, he came down the aisle. Yes, the obnoxious guy who had been entertaining the large group of passengers moments ago. He stopped when he got to my seat. 

“Mind if I sit here?” 

“Sure!” (Not quite sincere)

Inside I thought, good grief, I am going to have to listen to this guy all the way to Austin!  

Minutes later, the plane took off.  The guy in the middle seat looked at me and asked where I was going and what I did for a living.  I figured that once I told him I was a minister, this would end all conversation. I told him that I lived in Waco and was a minister for a church there.  He then said, “You are a minister?  Wow.  You make such a difference!”

He told me that his life had been a mess and then he begun going to a church in Austin. His whole life changed as he encountered Jesus. Now he was a part of a recovery group for recovering alcoholics.

He talked about the difference the Lord had made in his life.  Of course, I had to quietly talk to the Lord about my own pathetic, immature attitude in a situation that may have been a divine appointment.

Perhaps this was a “blackberry moment.”

Reading and Listening

* I am enjoying a book by Dan Reiland, “Leadership Alone Isn’t Enough: 40 Devotions to Strengthen Your Soul.” A wonderful book for ministers/church leaders in particular.

* Alan Noble has written a concise but excellent article entitle Friendship and Belonging in Middle Age.

* Joanne Woolway Grenfell has written a very fine article on one of the prayers of Josephine Butler (1828-1906). This particular prayer was written to her husband.

* See Julie Beck’s article in the Atlantic, “The Six Forces that Fuel Friendship,(June 10, 2022).

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

The List of Five

(Unsplash - Priscilla Du Preez)

What is the Conversation You Are Avoiding?

He had a real scare in the hospital emergency room. Fortunately doctors managed to stabilize him. There appeared to be some kind of heart issue. Days later, he was released from the hospital.

Some time afterward, I inquired about his health. I assumed he had been under the care of a doctor, perhaps a cardiologist, to address whatever was wrong. I was not expecting this reply:

“I never went to the doctor after getting out of the hospital. I’m not interested in hearing what he has to say. He’s going to tell me to eat better, lose weight, and exercise more. Who wants to hear that?”

Yet, the problem with his health was still present. He chose, however, to avoid the conversation with the doctor who would talk with him about life changes he would need to make.

Some of us may attempt to navigate life by avoiding certain conversations:

* The struggling student who refuses to ask her professor for help.

* The married couple who avoid discussing certain topics regarding their marriage.

* The parents who ignore serious warning signs in their teenage son’s behavior. Instead they choose to say, “He’s a good kid. It will all work out.”

Will you and I really move forward by avoiding critical conversations? Maybe these conversations might make a significant difference? Could we actually be limiting our growth by not addressing the very issue that has long given us problems?

Consider the following conversation questions:

* What is the conversation I need to have with God? (Have I been far more worried about my image than whether or not my life is pleasing to God?)

* What is the conversation I need to have with my spouse? (Do I simply need to put aside my pride and apologize?)

* What is the conversation I need to have with my children? (Might they be confused by the way I have compartmentalized my life?)

Can you point to a particular conversation that you have been avoiding? Or, can you point to a potential conversation that could be a game changer for you?

An Important Question that Could Make a Significant Difference in Your Life

Remember when someone asked you a question about life, marriage, or children that really made you think? Pondering a great question can cause you to think and perhaps even behave differently.

One question I have been asking myself lately is this: “What kind of person do I want to be in 24 months?”

Now of course, there is nothing magical about 24 months. However, I am conscious of time passing in my life — even the next 24 months.  Being aware of time passing can bring some perspective to decisions I make this week — even today.

Today matters.

Your attitude. Your decisions. Your choices.

What kind of man (or woman) will you be in 24 months? You will be probably be the sum total of your attitude, your decisions, and your choices.

This question is one that I am living with right now. As I fast forward my life to June 2024, what kind of person would I like to be at that point? If this is to be a reality, what do I need to do intentionally today, tomorrow, or the next day?

As I think about the kind of person I want to be, these words by Thomas Aquinas offer some clarity (Book of Common Prayer):

Give me, O Lord, a steadfast heart, which no unworthy thought can drag down; an unconquered heart, which no tribulation can wear out; an upright heart, which no unworthy purpose can tempt aside. Bestow upon me understanding to know you, diligence to seek you, wisdom to find you, and faithfulness that finally may embrace you.

Finally, consider this wonderful quote from poet Jane Kenyon (thanks to Austin Kleon for this reference):

Be a good steward of your gifts. Protect your time. Feed your inner life. Avoid too much noise. Read good books, have good sentences in your ears. Be by yourself as often as you can. Walk. Take the phone off the hook. Work regular hours.

This question can be a difference maker. What kind of person do you want to be in 24 months? The honesty and clarity with which I answer this question could make a huge difference in the everyday decisions I make today and tomorrow.

Three Simple Phrases That Can Make A Big Difference

Lately I have been reading a little book by Rod Wilson entitled, Thank You. I’m Sorry. Tell Me More.: How to Change the World with 3 Sacred Sayings. Wilson is a psychologist and former president of Regent College in Vancouver, B.C.

I mention this book because it has helped me become more conscious of the power of these important phrases in my own life. The wisdom in this book is refreshing. This is the kind of book whose importance could be easily overlooked. This is not a simplistic book but rather a way of functioning each day that can bring life and healing to relationships. The application fits marriages, families, work settings, and church life.

From a paragraph on the back cover:

In this collection of short, story-driven readings, learn how ingratitude, stubbornness, and disconnection destroy relationships, and take note of the habits and attitudes that give life and show love. Saying “Thank you” reveals that we recognize the way others impact us. The phrase “I’m sorry” acknowledges the way we impact others. When we say, “Tell me more,” we affirm the way we impact each other.

Wilson acknowledges that much of the culture is focused on entitlement, victimization, and individualism.

As a result:

Some may rarely, if ever, say “Thank you.” (After all, if you are entitled to something, why would you say, “Thank you?”)

Some may rarely, if ever, say “I’m sorry.” (After all, if you are used to saying “It’s not my fault,” why would you say, “I’m sorry?”)

Some may rarely, if ever, say “Tell me more.” (After all, if your story is more significant than anyone else’s, why would you say, “Tell me more?”)

This book invites us instead to a refreshing kind of life.

* We say “Thank you,” communicating our genuine gratitude to someone.

* We say “I’m sorry,” communicating our sincere remorse for what we said or did.

* We say “Tell me more,” communicating that we really care about another’s life and story.

As I read the book, I thought about my own life and relationships. At times I am way too slow with these responses.

What about you? As a mom, dad, husband, wife - these responses, coupled with the attitudes they reflect, may do wonders to refresh the atmosphere of any home.

(Church leaders/ministers - It is easy to underestimate the importance of this in the life of a church. When ministers and other church leaders model the attitudes these phrases reflect, a powerful opportunity to do good is present.)

What You Can Expect (Especially for Ministers/Church Leaders)

When I began preaching, I didn’t know what to expect. At the same time, I did have some expectations. In the first year or two, I was puzzled. I thought that everyone wanted to live right, they wanted to hear what the Bible said, and they really cared about the congregation and its ministry.

I know. That is pretty naive. A closer reading of the Old Testament, the ministry of Jesus, or the ministry of Paul could have given me a better set of expectations. Nevertheless, these were mine.

I have been thinking lately about some of the realistic expectations you and I can have about our ministries with these congregations:

* You can expect God to be with you in your ministry. No matter what, he is a faithful presence (2 Tim. 4:16-18).

* You can expect to encounter sin. It will be present in the community, in the congregation, and, yes, in the minister (2 Tim. 2:22).

* You can expect to wrestle with discouragement at times. Some discouragement may come due to the sin of others. At times discouragement may be present due to weariness. No wonder Paul encourages us to “Keep your head in all situations, endure hardship” (4:5).

* You can expect a broken heart. My first funeral was for a 26 year old woman who died of cancer. Later, I was in the emergency room with a young couple immediately after they learned of the death of their baby in a car accident. You will have a front row seat to unbelievable tragedy.

* You can expect to face opposition at times (2 Tim. 2:25-26; 4:14-15). Ministry can bring about deep wounds from such opposition. You may be challenged to live as a “wounded healer” without becoming bitter and cynical.

* You can expect to experience joy. The birth of babies. Baptisms. Repentance and life change.

* You can expect to hear the tender stories of people in your congregation. They will often tell you what they will rarely if ever, tell anyone else. These stories are sacred ground.

Finally, I love these words by Jessica Hooten Wilson (from a tweet - 5.27.2022) This is so fitting for all of us who would follow Jesus as his disciples:

Don’t be afraid to be who God has called you to be—it may be someone hated; it may be someone anonymous. You may lose in the eyes of the world, but you will be rewarded when our Lord calls your name, 'Well done, my beloved one.'

Reading and Listening Resources

* David Brooks has written an excellent article, “The Southern Baptist Moral Meltdown” in the New York Times, May 26, 2022.

* Been listening to Mary Lattimore’s Hundreds of Days as I study. Stumbled upon this a few months ago and keep going back. (See the sample of her music within this article.)

* Almost finished with Twyla Tharp’s fine book, The Creative Habit: Learn It And Use It For Life. Has really made me think about the creative process.

* Also reading Mark Sayers book, A Non-Anxious Presence: How a Changing and Complex World will Create a Remnant of Renewed Christian Leaders regarding this moment in our culture.

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

The List of Five

What Am I Like to Be With?

Suppose you were to stand on a balcony overlooking a small living room. In the room are six people in conversation. One chair in the room is off to the side and empty. From a distance, you watch yourself enter the room and pull up the empty chair to join the group. You sit down and moments later you are part of the conversation.

What if you were given the precious gift of seeing how you actually interact with others. Maybe you began to sense anxiety in this conversation. From the balcony, you see how you react as you experience this anxiety.

I think about my own response to anxiety:

* There have been times when my voice got louder and more agitated as I responded to others.

* At times, I basically shut down as the anxiety increased.

* On other occasions, my tone became curt and abrupt.

You and I interact with various groups. Our marriages. Our children. Our interaction with people at work. At times we interact with groups at church.

Three helpful questions:

* How do I manage myself? (Do I bring more anxiety to some conversations?)

* Am I self-aware enough to see how my functioning actually impacts others?

* Does my tone tend to have a calming effect or do I sometimes escalate a situation even more?

When You Need to Hear Something Good

One of the best things you can do daily, is to acknowledge something good. Yes, you see problems but you also look for and acknowledge the good things.

If we are not careful, you and I could totally focus on what is wrong:

* My spouse (his sickness, her depression, his/her financial mistake)

* My kids (the energy it takes to raise them)

* My church (the frustration with some of these people)

* My job (I’m being underpaid for what I am doing)

When we lived in Waco, Tx., I would regularly go to lunch with my friend, “Jay.” Typically, over a plate of Mexican food, we talked about our lives, our work, and our children. My friend is an astute businessman who doesn’t ignore or minimize problems. Yet, he would regularly finish his remarks with, “But the good news is . . .”

The good news may be that the company is projected to have an outstanding fourth quarter. Or, the good news may be that a new employee starts on Monday. Or, the good news may be that we are about to go on vacation. My friend clearly acknowledged “the good news” in most any conversation.

What if I talked about the “good news” today?

* “This is wonderful coffee.”

* “What a great sandwich! I love the extra bacon.”

* “I love the way our church places so much emphasis on children.”

* “You did such a great job of making that presentation. Thank you for your effort.”

* “I love the care this company puts into the outside appearance of the building. The plants are so attractive.”

* “You did such a great job with the sermon. It must be challenging to preach every week. You do this well.”

* “This was a great meeting. Thank you for leading us so well.”

Finally:

* As my children begin their day, what if I were intentional about saying something good?

* As my spouse begins his/her day, what could I say that would be life-giving?

When You Wait for Life to Begin Tomorrow

(Unsplash - Harsh Darji)

Some people are going to get a lot done - tomorrow. You may know someone like this. This person has good intentions, yet the focus seems to be on tomorrow.

* Someday, I need to clean out the garage.

* Sooner or later, I will have to talk with our son about his behavior.

* Tomorrow, I will think about apologizing.

Tomorrow. Someday. Sooner or later.

Maybe we are waiting for perfect conditions. Maybe we think we will eventually get around to doing what we need to do.

So what do I need to say or do today?

* Maybe I need to apologize.

* Perhaps I need to tell a longtime friend how much he/she means to me.

* Maybe I need to send a text, encouraging someone who has been on my mind.

* I may need to check-in with one of my adult children to make sure she is ok.

What do you need to do today? I ask myself this question regularly.

I love this paragraph from Maria Popova’s writing:

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives,” Annie Dillard wrote in her timeless meditation on living with presence. “Lay hold of to-day’s task, and you will not need to depend so much upon to-morrow’s,” Seneca exhorted two millennia earlier as he offered the Stoic balance sheet for time spent, saved, and wasted, reminding us that “nothing is ours, except time.”

What I Want to Remember from a Valuable Relationship (Especially for Ministers and Church Leaders)

I have been thinking a lot this week about my friend, long-time minister and author, Lynn Anderson. For me (as well as for many others), he was a significant mentor and encourager.

I learned much from him about ministry, marriage, and becoming a Godly person. What I remember:

* His love for the Psalms. When he quoted or read the Psalms, I felt as if I was hearing something intimate between himself and God.

* His willingness to name the emotion he saw in me and even ask about it. He was also a man who expressed the emotion he felt, whether utter joy or tears.

* His deep devotion to his wife, Carolyn, and his children and grandchildren. He often told stories about all of these people, revealing his deep affection for them.

* His affection for other people he loved. So often, in conversation with him, he had a way of making me (and so many others) feel significant. As one person put it, he made everyone feel like they were his favorite. He made you feel as if you really mattered. Note the following from the Christian Chronicle:

Don McLaughlin, minister for North Atlanta Church of Christ in Georgia, wrote:

“Perhaps my favorite memory is the way he just wanted to know us. He didn’t want to test us, put us in our place, get us to like him, think like him, or be like him. He trusted Jesus for all of that. He just made you feel like you really mattered. I will always remember him for making me feel that someone like him thought I was worth getting to know.”

* His willingness to speak to difficult issues in another’s life. I remember a moment after lunch at the Pepperdine lectures when he encouraged me, as a young husband, to step up and be the husband I needed to be. I was so thankful for his clear but tender words as he spoke to me like a gentle father.

* His genuine love and affection for God. It was so obvious in conversation and when hearing him preach.

* His compassion. I remember a phone conversation with both him and Carolyn when our (Charlotte and myself) hearts were broken over some sad news in our family. We both knew exactly who we wanted to talk with. He not only listened well but could deeply feel the emotion that we felt.

* His captivating stories. He told stories about men and women who did something he admired. This could have been someone from long ago, a person he met in a church somewhere, one of his grandchildren, or an elder serving a church where he had just preached. So often these stories recognized something heroic or admirable in someone else.

* His investment in so many people. He invested in many people. I was just one of these. Years ago, I was in several of his mentoring groups. When I began to lead these groups, he communicated his confidence and his pleasure that I was doing this. At the same time, he continued to pour into me something that cause me to desire to grow and mature more.

* His willingness to simply pay attention to others. He paid attention to others who may have otherwise been overlooked. I love these words from Oklahoma minister, Mitch Wilburn:

“Lynn was a great, great preacher, but he might have been even better with people. He had the ability in a crowded room … to slow down, stop and make you feel like you were the only one in the room. Just like Jesus.”

Reading and Listening Resources

* See Mark Sayer’s podcast, Rebuilders. His recent episodes, “We Have Entered Into a New Phase” and “Institutions Versus Networks in the Grey Zone” are excellent.

* Enjoyed reading “How Ray Ortlund Became a Foster Father to a Generation of Church Planters.” (January 24, 2018)

* Lynn Anderson’s books have blessed me for years. These include They Smell Like Sheep and Longing for a Homeland.

* I listened to an excellent podcast. David French and Curtis Change interview Kara Powell of the Fuller Youth Institute on “Why Are Teens Growing More Anxious.”

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

The List of Five

When You Worry

It happened about 3:00 AM, in the middle of the night. I was worried about a situation involving one of our children. As you may have experienced in your own life, one worry often leads to another.

We begin to imagine the worst - “What if?”

In the middle of the night, the feared outcome may be serious, catastrophic, or disastrous. My thinking can shift from a present problem, to anxious striving, and then to the feared outcome.

As a result, I can become more focused on striving (usually accompanied by much anxiety!) instead of learning to walk by faith.

Anxious striving has a way of reminding us just how small we are and how large our problems seem to be. In the meantime, God might also seem small — too small for prayer and too small to lean on.

Notice for a moment the picture at the top of the page. Can you relate to these areas of worry?

* Things I worry about - I could share a long list of things I have worried about. These range from the serious to the sublime.

* Things that can happen - Sometimes, we might worry about things that are not even in the realm of possibility.

* Things that actually do happen - It helps me to see how small this is in the picture above. Compared to things that I actually worry about, the disastrous outcome is typically very small.

Overcommitted and Tired?

Many of us are burdened by the load we are carrying. Some may feel as if we, alone, are carrying the weight of our problems on our shoulders.  Yet, when we constantly feel such a burden, we are probably not going to be fresh and alive for the long haul.

In addition to our problems, part of what we may be carrying is emotional freight that doesn’t help. 

Some of us know what it is to be angry.  We resent what happened behind closed doors in a church meeting. We resent being treated unfairly, being underpaid, and hearing so many unkind words.

Some may begin to feel entitled or complacent. We feel like we deserve a life better than this. We may begin taking shortcuts. Maybe these are shortcuts to quick pleasure. These moments of quick pleasure are compartmentalized in our minds and become our secret. We rationalize that we deserve this illicit pleasure given all we’ve been through.  

Some know what it is to feel lonely. To not have real friends. To feel as if no one knows or understands what we are going through. To complicate things, some may realize that they have not invested in their marriages in earlier years, and so are not that close to their spouses.

What might help in staying fresh:

Invest in lifelong learning. Read.  Listen to good podcasts.  Take a class.  Do something that will help you grow. Singer Sheryl Crow recently commented on the young artists who admire her. She speaks of the importance of remaining interested, curious, and fearless.

It does mean a lot to me,” she went on, “because I hope at the end of the day, particularly the young women that look up to me can see that if you just keep going, and you stay interested and curious and fearless about what you’re experiencing and writing, that you can be around 30 years.

Invest in praying the Psalms.  For a season, I read five Psalms aloud each morning and used them to help me pray. I underlined every word that described a name of God, a characteristic of God, or something God did. This practice greatly enriched my prayer life and overall faith.

Consider how Jesus seemed to walk away from ministry at times in order to pray. He seemed to find it necessary to be alone with God. Perhaps if we were to pay more attention to this discipline, we might rise above the superficially that seems to grip so many of us.

Richard Foster wrote in Celebration of Discipline:

Superficiality is the curse of our age. The doctrine of instant satisfaction is a primary spiritual problem. The desperate need today is not for a greater number of intelligent people or gifted people but for deep people.

Invest in your own emotional health.   Deal with your emotions as Paul admonishes us, in Ephesians 4:3: “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” When we don’t deal with our emotions, this neglect will be seen in a variety of ways:

* We may become very demanding people.

* We may quickly leave when there is conflict.

* We may develop a pattern of manipulating others.

* We may become quick-tempered, exploding at times.

* We may live with the constant anxiety that we are going to lose the approval of others.

Invest in relationships.

* Give time and energy to your family. It is smart to put your family time on the calendar as an appointment.

* Surround yourself with a few people who add value to your life.  Who is it that adds energy, life, and vitality to your life?

* Cultivate healthy relationships outside the church.  Too many of us live in isolation. We are friendless and sometimes feel like we have no one with whom we can really talk or confide. This is how some of us get into trouble. It is important to nurture healthy friendships and remove the isolation.

We need to learn to rely on God. This may feel “weak” and cause you to feel vulnerable and exposed. Yet, to acknowledge that you need God actually points to your strength (2 Corinthians 1:8-9).

Would You Do This Tomorrow?

This was helpful! Austin Kleon refers to an article in which the author suggests an excellent question that one might ask before accepting an invitation: “Would I do this tomorrow?” At times, it is easy to say “yes” to an invitation that is six months away. However, if this invitation was for tomorrow, would I still say “yes?” (See also the article from Slate and from Medium.)

For many years, I filled my calendar with activities and meetings galore. Months ahead of time, I made various promises regarding speaking engagements, committee involvement, and being present at special events. Each promise, each time commitment, whether a year away or months away, would be entered into my calendar.

Often the week of the event would come and I would wonder, “What was I thinking, when I said yes to this request?”

* Sometimes I said “yes” so another would not be disappointed.

* Sometimes I said “yes” thinking that another would like me more.

* Sometimes I said “yes’ because having a calendar filled with numerous commitments made me feel worthwhile.

On the other hand, there may be some good reasons to say “yes.”

* Perhaps this will bless my spouse or my children.

* Perhaps this is a way to carry out God’s mission.

* Perhaps this is a way in which I can contribute and in some way serve another.

The idea is not to avoid saying “yes” to another’s request. Rather, it is to make an intentional commitment, keeping in mind costs and rewards. Perhaps one way to do this is to ask yourself, “If this were happening tomorrow, would I feel good about the commitment I am considering?”

Pay Attention to What Really Matters (Especially for Ministers and Other Church Leaders)

One of the great resources you and I have to offer any person or situation is our attention.

Yet, sometimes, we become distracted. We may have difficulty giving our full attention to what really matters and being fully present in the moment.  Many of us skim along the surface of most any experience, like a bass boat speeding down a river. We are in perpetual motion but our lives never get beyond the surface of the moment.

Consider what clamors for our attention:

* A text appears on your phone.

* You have a new e-mail message.

* The phone rings.

* You are invited to be a member of a committee.

* Your child is invited to be on a team.

* You see a new Tweet from someone who interests you.

* Your friend updates her Facebook or Instagram status and you want to respond.

* You watch television and are bombarded with advertisements.

Each day, somebody somewhere wants your attention.  If you are not intentional regarding the focus of your attention, you may rarely give your full attention to things that matter.

The following are some critical areas that are worthy of attention:

1.  Give attention to the creator God.  Be attentive to Scripture and what God reveals about his character and his expectations.  Be attentive to the story of God revealed in Scripture.

2.  Give attention to those who matter most.  Are you married?  Do you have children? Who are your closest friends?  Is there someone God has put into your life to encourage?  Consider who needs your full presence and undivided attention.  Are you investing in these people?  Or, are you passively waiting for them to take initiative toward you?

3.  Give attention to your own development.  Are you growing and developing personally, spiritually, or emotionally?  Are you growing and maturing in Christ?  Or, do you remain stuck in immaturity and old negative habits?

4.  Give attention to the maintenance of your life.  Are you practicing good self-care?  Are you feeding your soul so that you are nourished and strengthened on a regular basis? Are you taking care of your body?  Do you monitor your emotions?  Are you a good steward of the resources God has given you?

Listening and Reading Resources

* I have been listening to the audio version of Bob Goff’s excellent book, Undistracted: Capture Your Purpose, Rediscover Your Joy. Down to earth and inspiring.

* Ray Ortlund and Sam Allberry have now published season two of their excellent podcast, You’re Not Crazy. This is a great podcast series.

* See the excellent interview with Carey Nieuwhof interviewing Glen Packiam.

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

(Unsplash - Rosie Kerr)

The List of Five

I’m So Glad I Read This Again

I love the following few lines as Mary Oliver gives some simple instructions for living. These lines are from the poem, “Sometimes:”

Pay attention.Be astonished.Tell about it.

I almost missed the significance of these three lines the first time I read them. I’m glad I read them again! These simple lines are a reminder that navigating life, while challenging, can also be pretty basic.

* Pay Attention — Pay attention to things that matter. As a Christ-follower, this means paying attention to the words and desires of Jesus. I want to pay attention to the people in my life. I don’t want to be staring at the screen on my phone instead of being fully present with another person. Instead of formulating my response while another person is talking, I want to listen intently with my curiosity engaged.

* Be Astonished — I want to have a sense of wonder as I witness the beautiful character of God and his powerful actions. I do not want to lose the “wow!” that most naturally comes as one thinks, feels, and experiences the presence of God.

* Tell About It — Life was never meant to be lived within our own heads. There is something life-giving when we express to another how we have witnessed the wonder of God.

Today, I don’t want to be on auto-pilot and mindlessly miss the beauty around me. I do not want to be so busy that I am never really present with anyone. I want to pay attention to what matters. I want to still be astonished at the beauty and power of God.

We don’t suffer these days from any lack of communication, but rather from all the forces making us say things when we’ve got nothing much to say.

Gilles Deleuze

Sometimes, we may even feel compelled to give our opinions on various subjects when we may not really have much to say. Yet, what matters is not how much we talk, comment, or post. What matters is listening well and learning. What matters is being present and paying attention.

Four Investments that Could Be Life Changing

The recent article “How a Cancer Diagnosis Makes Jesus’ Death and Resurrection Mean More” by Tish Harrison Warren caught my attention. In the article, Tim Keller expresses the following thoughts regarding his cancer diagnosis:

My wife, Kathy, and I are fairly well known as being a team. In many ways, we are joined at the hip. Right after the cancer was diagnosed, we realized it wasn’t right to come to the end of our lives without improving our marriage in places where it could be better. There were some things that she felt that she could not talk to me about because I didn’t respond well and she had given up trying to do it. But now we’re finding breakthroughs and being able to talk about certain things and deal with them in a way we were never able to before.

You immediately look around at your children, your grandchildren and say, what are the things I want to say to them and do with them?

Then thirdly, writing. I’m asking, “What are some things I want to write about — notes in a bottle to the future church?”

The last thing is trying to encourage people. I want to be an encourager.

There is something about Keller’s words that bring clarity and perspective to life. Though he writes from New York City, his words can be helpful whether we live in a city, a suburb, or a small town.

When I was about forty years old (1993), Charlotte and I were living in Waco, Texas with our two young daughters. At one point, after several x-rays, a physician discovered a large tumor near the top of my spine. Days later, I sat in a surgeon’s office, scared to death. I listened as he told me he would be opening up my chest to remove this tumor. The tumor was benign but I was still scared. I called my friend, Dan Anders who ministered on the campus of Pepperdine University. He battled cancer for a long time. He said, “The first time you catch a whiff of your own mortality, it is terrifying.”

Perhaps Keller “caught a whiff of his own mortality” when he expressed the four things he wished to do with his time. What might our lives be like if we held to the same four commitments?

* What would say to your spouse if you knew this would be his/her last day?

* What might you say to your children if you knew you had little time to live? Is this something you need to be intentional about communicating right now?

* What would you like to say to the future church? What might you say on behalf of those whom you dearly love who will be a part of that church?

* Who would you intentionally seek to encourage?

We don’t have to wait until we have a serious disease in order to spend the remainder of our time wisely. Perhaps we can learn from Keller as he writes about these four desires for his own life.

I am grateful for this reminder to invest my life in a few things that matter most - cancer or no cancer.

When Leaving Isn’t The Answer

What does a person do with emotional pain? Many people simply leave.

They don’t necessarily leave physically. Rather, they leave emotionally.

Many have learned to respond to pain by withdrawing. When our granddaughter was still a toddler, she learned to play “hide and seek.” When it was her turn to hide, she would close her eyes, thinking that she was hidden from the sight of others as long as her eyes were closed.

Some of us have tried to deal with pain by going within. In essence, we closed our eyes thinking this was a safe place to hide.

While withdrawing may be one’s default for dealing with pain, it is not conducive to connecting emotionally with another person.  In fact, for family members and friends it can feel like the person has “gone away.”

When we leave one another emotionally, where do we go?

* Some of us just stay very, very busy.  We lose ourselves in our work.  Maybe we can stay so busy that we are not preoccupied with the pain and emptiness we feel.

* Some of us look for a way to medicate or numb our pain.  Alcohol.  Drugs.  Pornography. Some parents may lose themselves in their children to avoid addressing the painful issues of their marriages. Yet, this can be a way of not dealing with pain.

* Some of us retreat to a room within ourselves which may seem safe but actually serves to disconnect us from the people we love most.  This “cave” can be a place that might seem safe but it actually may expose us again to memories of earlier moments of shame, humiliation, and disappointment.

Early in our marriage, Charlotte would occasionally say to me, “Don’t go away.”  She wasn’t talking about physically leaving our family.  It had never occurred to me to leave our family and live elsewhere.

However, I would lose myself in my work, in my thoughts, and withdraw to a safe place in my mind that unfortunately excluded everyone else by virtue of my silence. What I eventually learned is that withdrawal into the self is actually futile.  Your mind can become a museum consisting of the relics of unresolved conflict, unprocessed wounds, and pain that was never acknowledged.

Many years later, I see the same behavior in others. Some are young men who have allowed themselves to become moody and emotionally unpredictable.  Others are men and women who have stored away decades of pain, hurt, and resentment.

Basically, this behavior changes by the grace of God.  This probably won’t happen overnight.  For many men, this may have been a default behavior for many years. However, rather than saying “that’s just the way I am,” Christians believe that God is powerful enough to break the chains of this futility.  Christians, through the power of the Spirit, deal with their lives instead of allowing their relationships to fall apart.

One place to begin might be in voicing to God, in a spirit of humility, what you are really thinking and what you are really feeling.  Trust that he is good and that his love for you is far greater than you can even imagine.

Being present in the moment can be painful at times. However, it is far better to stay connected, regardless of the pain, than to attempt to go it alone.

Ministry Survival #2 (Especially for Ministers and Other Church Leaders)

The following is from a list I created entitled “Ten Ways to Survive in the First Year of a Ministry with a Congregation.” If you are a new minister, this may be very helpful. If you are a seasoned, experienced minister, this can be helpful to review occasionally. This may be a reminder of some basics that you want to remember. (See part 1 in “Jim Martin’s Encouragement Note #55)

1.  Be interested in how God has been working in this church long before you began your ministry. Ask others,  “What do you love about this church?” or “What has been a high point for the church since you have been here?” This can be a humble reminder that the work of God does not begin with me and any ministry skill.

2.  Follow through.  If you say, “Let’s have coffee or lunch”—follow through.  If you get texts/e-mails that call for an answer —follow through.  Be aware of the promises you are making—follow through.

3.  You don’t have to give an opinion or comment about every matter.  When someone criticizes a previous minister, you are not compelled to explain or defend.  Just listen.

4.  Be aware of the threats:  1. Your idealism  2. Your sense of inadequacy.  3. Your temptation to use distance to deal with intimidation. 4. Your loneliness. Some of us know what it is to feel lonely. We may know what it is to feel as if no one in the church knows what we are going through.

5. Pay attention to your spouse.  Adjusting to a new congregation can be hard.  Pay attention to the instincts of your spouse as you navigate your way through the congregation.

Reading/Listening

* I found this article, “29 Lessons from Owning a Bookstore” by Ryan Holiday interesting. Maybe I was drawn to this because of the digital age and the closing of numerous physical bookstores in recent years.

* I listened to Russell Moore interview Jonathan Haidt on the Russell Moore Show (his podcast). Very interesting.

* Have you read anything by Trevor Hudson? This week I have been reading portions of his Beyond Loneliness: The Gift of God’s Friendship. Consider this quote (p. 101):

Imagine the freedom we would have if we could live beyond fear - the freedom to be ourselves without any need to impress or perform, the freedom to relate to others honestly, openly, and non-defensively, the freedom to open our hearts to those who suffer and are desperate . . . above all, the freedom to surrender our lives fully to the intimate friendship that God passionately longs to have with each one of us.

* I love this quote from The Preacher’s Catechism by Lewis Allen. As he discusses three preaching priorities, he includes “We work with you for your joy:”

For your joy! These three words should send shock waves through every preacher. Our goal is to deepen the joy of our hearers in Jesus Christ. He is the pearl of great price, the bread of life, the splendor of heaven. Without finding our joy in him, we will shrivel up, just going through the motions as disciples. But if we discover that Jesus is so wonderful and glorious, we will live eagerly and boldly for him. Preaching which honors God and helps people is transparently humble and loving, and builds joy-filled confidence in Christ (pp. 63-64).

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

I know there are men and women whose lives are littered with poor decisions. However, there are also many young men and women who are following Jesus and living to honor him.

Hopefully something in the following “Encouragement Note” will brighten your day.

(Unsplash - Михаил Секацкий)

(The entire “Encouragement Note” is available as a podcast. See audio above)

The List of Five

There’s More Than What You Might See in the Mirror

In his book, Clowning in Rome (p. 87), Henri Nouwen tells the story of a sculptor whose studio was next door to the home of a little boy. One day a big flatbed truck pulled up to the studio and delivered an enormous block of marble. The big front doors to the studio opened and the marble was wheeled up into the studio. The little boy, playing in the front yard, followed the workers to see what would happen. Later, he watched as the sculptor took his hammer and chisel and began to chip away at the piece of stone. The boy eventually lost interest and went away.

Weeks later, the boy went back into the studio and to his amazement, he no longer saw a big chunk of stone, but saw in its final phase a beautifully carved lion. The boy was amazed and said, “How did you know that there was a lion in that marble?”

When you look in the mirror, what do you see? You might not see very much beyond plain, ordinary you. Or, you might see inadequacy and failure. You might see someone who has always felt “less than” others.

Others look in the mirror and see an attractive woman, a successful business person, or an affluent 40 year old. If this is all you see, you may become almost desperate for others to see that you are “more than” others.

Yet, when you yield to God and he works in your life, something beautiful is being formed. “But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand” (Isa. 64:8 ESV)

That beauty is never diminished by your age, wrinkles, weight, or size. That beauty transcends any failure in the past. What is being formed is more important than your education, your business accomplishments, or your financial worth. You don’t have to brag, boast, or attempt to manipulate the attention in the room.

God is shaping and forming you. In his eyes, you matter and you are significant.

So, go ahead and look in the mirror. But don’t be distracted by the superficial. In Christ, as God shapes and forms you, your beauty reflects the very character of God.

THAT is a good life!

If Someone Else Took Control of Your Life Right Now

James Clear, author of Atomic Habits writes a brief but useful newsletter each week. In a recent issue (March 31, 2022), he asked this question:

If someone took control of your life tomorrow, what’s the first thing they would change?

This one made me think.

Yet, allow me to edit this one for our purposes. Suppose your children were grown (they may be). Now suppose they were able to go back in time and make an adjustment in their dad or mom. What is the first thing they would change?

Some possibilities:

“I would take away my dad’s secret. His use of pornography almost destroyed our family.”

“I would change my parents’ marriage. I want them to cherish one another.”

“I would remove the worry from my mother’s life and replace it with a rich confidence in God’s care.”

“I would make my dad more attentive to my life in Jesus. I appreciate what I learned from him about baseball, business, etc. However, I really wish he had talked with me about his own faith in the Lord.”

“I would cause my parents to be fully present when we were children. I don’t think they have any idea how much time they spent staring at their screens, even when we (their children) were present.”

What would someone else change, if they had control of your (or my) life right now?

This is worth thinking about!

What Am I Doing Consistently?

When I was a young minister, there was little on my resume. I had graduated from college and seminary. However, I wasn’t sure what else to include. (I wasn’t sure that I should include on my resume, the years I worked part-time for UPS loading trucks.) Also, I didn’t want to “puff” the document and make it appear that I had done far more than I really had. Then, I would think about the words of others regarding a particular experience, “This will look good on your resume.”

Some of us may relish in our experiences, our training, our education, and our accomplishments. While these may add to our competency, they can become a source of pride.

Yet, one important concern for anyone attempting to navigate life is not “What have you done?” but rather, “What are you doing? What decisions are you making right now that might keep you moving in the right direction?”

Consider what you might be doing right now for your own growth and maturity:

* Are you becoming more Christ-like right now? Are you becoming a better husband/wife right now? Are you becoming a better man or woman right now?

* Are you focused on knowing God right now? Are you reading, thinking, and coming to know Scripture and God right now?

* Are you relating to others in a way that is mature and reflects who you are in Christ? Do you refuse to make excuses for your negativity, your critical spirit, and your refusal to forgive? Instead, are you intentional about relating to others in a way that reflects a commitment to grow into the image of Christ?

* Are you presently doing what you know God wants you to do as a disciple of Jesus? Or, do you rely on what you have already done?

If I take the teachings of Jesus seriously, what do I need to do now?

A lady was once asked if she would help in the pre-school class at her congregation. She replied, “No way — I’ve put in my time!” She apparently meant that since she used to teach the pre-school class a long time ago, she was certainly not going to help or teach again.

None of us have “put in our time” with Jesus. It matters what I do today as a husband, a father, and most of all, a follower of Jesus.

Ministry Survival #1 (Especially for Ministers and Other Church Leaders)

The following is from a list I created entitled “Ten Ways to Survive in the First Year of a Ministry with a Congregation.” If you are a new minister, this may be very helpful. If you are a seasoned, experienced minister, this can be helpful to review occasionally. This may be a reminder of some basics that you want to remember.

* Learn to love the congregation well. This is critical. Pray that God might give you the strength and capacity for this kind of loving.

* Know that when you begin to serve a congregation, many of these people are wondering, “Does this minister like us?” They will also be asking themselves, “Do I like this minister?” Also, “Does this minister have the skill to do this?” Respond to this, not by trying appear like-able or by trying to appear competent. Rather, respond with genuine authenticity.

* Build trust. Start by being trustworthy in your marriage and with your children. Be trustworthy with your words and actions. Know that building trust takes time.

* Appreciate the “honeymoon.” The honeymoon is what many, if not most, ministers experience when they first arrive to serve a congregation. It is actually the period of suspended judgement. These people are watching and waiting as they decide whether or not they like this minister. For best results, ministers should focus on #1, #2, and #3.

* Be intentional about getting to know them. Allow them the opportunity to get to know you. Start with their names. Children and adults notice when someone seems to know their name. Don’t use the worn out excuse, “I’m bad with names.” Make the effort. Write the name in your phone or on your notepad. Write down details about the person you would like to remember. Seriously, this is basic but it is also important.

(To be continued in “Jim Martin’s Encouragement Note #56)

Reading/Listening Resources

* Listened to Carey Nieuwhof interview Ann Voskamp regarding the power of vulnerability. Good for me to hear this. Also see Nieuwhof’s 57 “Pieces of Unsolicited Advice for Your Life and Leadership.”

* Heard an excellent podcast with historian John Dickson (“Undeceptions”) on “Science Wars.” Very helpful. Also, listened to Dickson’s outstanding interview with Tim Keller.

* I am listening to Cal Newport’s Deep Work. While I am very familiar with this book. listening to the audio has helped me think through my work habits again.

* I read read Liz Huntley’s book, More Than a Bird, given to me by friends in Montgomery, Ala. An excellent book! Her Ted Talk, “Be a Game-Changer,” is very good.

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

May the Lord provide you with encouragement in the words below.

The List of Five

You Offer More Than You Might Think

I knew a person who invested much time and energy at a particular company. She worked long hours and did thankless tasks that required much work. Yet, it seemed that she was regularly passed over for promotions for which she was qualified.

Finally, she left this company. In retrospect, she valued her time at the company and the relationships that were formed. She left, however, with a sense of disappointment.

Can you relate to this?

* Maybe you put much energy into a friendship or relationship that seemed to end in disappointment.

* Perhaps you put time and dedication into special training, only to see any future job possibilities fizzle out.

* You may have worked very hard, hoping that your efforts would be noticed and at least appreciated. Instead, not a word was ever said.

If you look around, you may see men and women who have extraordinary gifts. Maybe these are gifts you don’t have. Yet, you really have much to offer:

* Consider your life-long learning. Don’t underestimate how much you have learned at this point. Whether through formal or informal education, this is significant. Your eagerness to learn is actually a very important quality that you bring to any situation.

* Consider some of the intangibles in your life. Your honesty, graciousness, and willingness to think before you speak are all wonderful characteristics. Your loyalty to your spouse and your friends says so much about your character.

* Consider your relational qualities. Your willingness to listen and your capacity for relating to a wide variety of people is significant. Your love for others and your thoughtfulness makes most any group better. This love and thoughtfulness can be a way to savor relationships, instead of taking these for granted.

These are assets for navigating life. Some people may or may not recognize the value you bring. However, God can use qualities that may never be listed on a resume but may be significant in making a kingdom difference.

Know this:

* Your self-worth is given to you by God. It is not determined by the “likes” you receive on social media. No one else determines what you are really worth.

* Your contribution to a cause, a ministry, or task has not gone unnoticed by God. He recognizes your contribution even when others are silent.

* Your service is not the way to honor. Your service is honorable (Mk. 10:43-45).

Don’t Settle For a Facade When You Could Have a Real Life

I drove past a particular restaurant regularly. For a time, it looked very normal, until one day, I realized that the red brick exterior was only on the front of the building. As I looked at the side of the building and then the back, I realized this was just a metal building with a brick facade in the front.

It only appeared to be a brick building. The owner of the building went to much trouble and expense to create an illusion.

Some people grow up in families where the emphasis seems to be focused on appearance or creating an illusion. Yet, the illusion we attempt to create and the reality that exists, aren’t necessarily the same.

* Some may purchase a particular house or car to create an illusion of success.

* Some may spend money extravagantly hoping others will think they are financially successful.

* Some may try to create a veneer of faith while their children are young. Years later, the empty faith of mom and dad may become obvious to these children.

At some point, we may become aware of the facade in others or even in ourselves. When we discover the illusion in others, we feel disappointed or betrayed. When we discover this in ourselves, we may experience hopelessness or a sense of futility. As a result, we might become cynical and even bitter, wondering what really matters.

A few years ago, Federal authorities searched the home of a young couple. The home was located in an exclusive area in Dallas. The young husband worked for a national financial service company. He was now being indicted for fraud. When authorities entered the home, they knew something was wrong.

The house was basically empty. There was hardly anything inside the house. In one room was a mattress and a cardboard table where they ate their meals and watched television. The rest of the house was empty. Neighbors noticed that they never opened their window blinds or curtains.

Before moving to the area, the couple had sold everything they had to buy this house. Once they purchased the house, they could not afford furniture. Yet, they believed it was important for them to live at this location since it provided the appearance of success.

Instead of being focused on pretense and appearance, perhaps we might cling to the following:

* The reality of who you really are is more beautiful and precious than any facade you might construct. You were created in the image of the living God! There is a beauty and worth in this reality alone.

* True wisdom is not found in attempting to sound clever, smart, or insightful. Rather, true wisdom is displayed in a life well lived.

* Life was meant to be lived out of the center. I can tell when I am paying attention to the center of my life and when I am basically ignoring this.

* Any attempt to create a facade will ultimately fail. The goal of life is not in creating a certain impression in the minds of others. Rather, the goal is in becoming the kind of person you have been called by God to be.

The Most Important Friend a Person Could Ever Have

Right where we are this moment, in the midst of whatever loneliness we may be facing, God meets us and holds out a hand of friendship. At the heart of the Christian faith lies an extravagant, grace-filled, and mind-blowing offer. God passionately longs to be friends with us.― Trevor Hudson, Beyond Loneliness: The Gift of God's Friendship

We sat in a small office. He had just come out of a 28 day alcohol/drug rehab program. He had grown up in a Christian family and for a time attended a Christian school. Yet, his life had taken a detour. He had lost his job and his marriage was hanging by a thread.

He sat at a table in my office and began to read the Bible aloud. He was anxious and clearly was not finding comfort or encouragement in what he was reading. Finally, almost in exasperation, he said, “I just want to know what God wants me to do!”

I told him that the place to start was not in what God wanted him to do but in responding to what God had already done for him.

Trevor Hudson, a South African minister, is correct when he says, “God passionately longs to be friends with us.”

Jesus longs to abide or dwell in us. Yet he is also interested in the ordinary details of our lives. He is a friend, involved in the everyday details of living. As someone who loves us and abides in us is, he in our corner desiring our best.

Recently, I was in a store in the check-out line. As I approached the cashier, I looked at her and asked, “Well how is your day?” She almost appeared startled. She replied, “Why — I’m having a good day. Thanks very much for asking.” I then thought of all the times when I said nothing, mindlessly staring at my credit card, before slipping it into the machine. Now, a few seconds of acknowledging this total stranger had made a difference in her day.

We might just be amazed at God, who is aware and interested in the details of this life we are navigating. He holds out his hand of friendship.

10 Ways To Be More Effective From Your Front-Row Seat (Especially for Ministers & Church Leaders)

Ministers and other church leaders have a front row seat to the life of the congregation. Yet, what goes on within a congregation can be very challenging. The following might be helpful:

Ministry is not for the fainthearted or thin-skinned. Sometimes hurt people, will then hurt other people, including their ministers. Ministers are often wounded by the very people whom they love. Believe me, I know this is hard but God is faithful and will stand by us. May God give us the grace to withstand the pain and hurt of ministry.

Ministry may offer more joy than you might have dreamed and more pain that you ever imagined. Sometimes both joy and pain will occur on the same day. The joys can be many: a baptism, the birth of a child, watching the maturing of a young woman, or seeing a person practice forgiveness. Meanwhile, the pain can be intense. For example, a family who you have loved and served may leave your congregation. You hear them say they like another’s preaching better.

Ministry also gives you a front row seat to a lot of disruption, heartache, and sin. Yes, you will experience a lot of disappointment. Some of this may occur when those whom you counted on turn to sin instead of Jesus. Yet, look at Jesus, who can absorb our hurt and give us abundant life.

Ministry gives you a front row seat to so many people who are doing good. Throughout the nation, in congregations of all sizes, people can be found who are doing so much good, serving others, and giving their time unselfishly. This can range from volunteers in elementary schools who read to children, to dentists who give their time to provide dental care at little or no cost to a clinic in a low income area.

For the sake of your soul, your family, and the congregation, spend the necessary time, energy, and attention with the spiritual disciplines. Care for your own soul. If you are not caring for your own soul, how will you thrive? I love this line by Sinclair Ferguson regarding ministers: “At the end of the day it’s not where you are that matters, but who you’ve become, wherever you are.”

Care for your emotions. This can range from being aware of your own emotional tendencies to buttressing your emotional capacity through therapy. I have been to therapists at different times in my life. For the most part, these people have been very helpful.

Acknowledge the joy but also acknowledge the pain of ministry. To glibly say, “It’s all good!” in the face of what many ministers deal with, is not only unrealistic but may be very unhealthy.

It is important that you put yourself in a place where there is encouragement, hope, and joy. Stay connected to a few people who seem to choose joy instead of complaining and faultfinding. Most of us are impacted by those with whom we spend time.

Write it down. I love being in groups and gatherings where some of the most experienced, seasoned ministers are writing things down! So often they do this as others preach, teach, or make comments. There is so much that we can learn from one another.

Resources

* The gospel call invites us to apprentice ourselves to Jesus, become pilgrims along the compassionate way, and journey deeper together into the heart and life of God. In our contemporary setting, however, Christians often look more like bustling tourists than faithful pilgrims patiently engaged upon an eternal pilgrimage into Divine Love. Countless people today make periodic excursions into the spiritual supermarket in pursuit of a novel offer, but few seem willing to sign up as pilgrims in the lifelong adventure of discipleship.― Trevor Hudson, A Mile in My Shoes: Cultivating Compassion

* See Jari Roomer’s, “5 Habits To Learn 3X As Much From Every Book You Read” in Medium, January 31, 2022.

* See David Brooks, “The Secrets to Lasting Friendships” in The New York Times, March 24, 2022.

* If you like the quote from Trevor Hudson (above), you might enjoy his wonderful book, Discovering Our Spiritual Identity: Practices for God’s Beloved. One of his best.

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

(The picture below is from our recent trip to Fairhope, Alabama. Page and Palette Bookstore.)

The List of Five

It’s Your Move

We had been seated in an outdoor area.  The restaurant was very busy.  We ordered our food and were waiting on our pizza.  The people at the next table were inches away.  They apparently spoke no English.  We definitely spoke no German (their language).

Yet, it did not take an understanding of their language to know they were angry with each other.  We could not understand what they said but the hostile tone was clear. Each word seemed to be uttered in contempt. The tension was thick.

Later, I wondered what became of this couple. I wondered how they managed to get beyond this intense quarrel.

What does it take for a couple like this to make the first move toward problem solving and reconciliation?  Far too many of us stubbornly wait for the other person to go first.

* If only she would do what I want her to do, things would be good.

* It’s not my fault.

* She started it.

Contrast this with a willingness to make the first move.

We can make the first move by taking action.  Instead of being passive, we can be intentional. We can acknowledge that something is wrong and work through it. We can apologize, take action, and make amends.

We can make the first move by initiating. Instead of making passive-aggressive comments, denying that anything is wrong, or remaining silent, you and I could initiate something positive.

You and I can make the first move by focusing on this valuable relationship instead remaining stuck in our pride. We can choose to either protect our prideful self-interest or invest in this relationship.

Make the first move.

This is what Jesus did at the cross. He went first (Romans 5:8).

Bottom line:

* Stop procrastinating.  Start doing what you need to do.

* Stop blaming another for your lot in life. 

* Focus on what step you need to take.

People Who Make You Better

My dad grew up in a modest home in Oklahoma, the oldest son in a family who just got by financially.  I heard him say a number of times, “ My family didn’t have much but neither did anyone else!”

Their family was a part of a church in Granite.  W.D. Hockaday (1855 – 1944), one of the elders of their church, was very influential in his life.  His son, Don Hockaday Jr., preached at the church.  W.D. Hockaday owned a hardware store and was an encourager of many good works.  He helped found Cordell Christian College in 1907, with its first President being, J.N. Armstrong.  Hockaday’s sister was Sally Hockaday Benson, the wife of George S. Benson (later President of Harding University).  As a boy, my dad knew that Hockaday was a good and generous man.

My dad enjoyed telling one particular story about Hockaday that occurred during the Great Depression years.  Typically, Hockaday would pass out Christmas presents to all the children in town.  Children would line up in front of his store and wait their turn. Inside the store, Hockaday sat by a potbellied stove as each child passed by.  He gave them a paper sack with a few nuts, fruit, and a piece of candy.  For many of these children, including my dad, this would be the only Christmas present they would receive.

Fast forward many years later.  I remember leaving Bible class one rainy Wednesday evening.  Our family drove to a house on nearby Buckner Blvd. We knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer. Finally, a young family came to the door (the entire family).  My parents had brought a sack of groceries for the family.  They gave the father the key to our white Ford, what had been my mother’s car.  My parents were trying to help this young family, giving them groceries and loaning them a car.  As a young boy, I watched all of this closely.

On another occasion, when I was still in elementary school, a little girl came to live with us. Her mother was a single parent with five children. I don’t remember the details but her mother could no longer care for the children. Various people in the congregation took in these children. One little girl stayed with our family for a few weeks.  My parents responded with graciousness and generosity toward this young girl.

Later, I reflected on what my parents did on these occasions and how these moments might have impacted me.  I also thought about W.D. Hockaday who modeled generosity before my father, when he was a child, and now my father was modeling this before me.

Could God use a family like yours?  Absolutely.  Better yet, he may already be using your family to plant seeds of faith, love, and generosity into the hearts of your children.

What our children learn:

* They hear how we talk about the church. They can learn that the people who make up the church really do matter.

* They hear how we talk to our own parents. They can learn respect and appreciation.

* They hear how we talk to others in their presence and how we talk about them when they are not around. They can learn integrity.

* They hear and see how we respond to others in a time of need. They can learn compassion.

Believe What Is True

What we believe about ourselves, God, and life really do matter. It is possible to live for years and hold on to beliefs that are just not rooted in reality or the character of God. For example, some of us may believe the lies that diminish our worth and value. Some examples?

1.  You are not worth very much.  Years ago in Kansas City, I heard a drunken father in the house next door scream at his five-year-old.  He told her how worthless she was, using vile, degrading language.  Such a bully can do great damage even though he is speaking lies. The truth is that this girl was precious in the eyes of God, created in his image.  She was deeply loved by God. Yet, such words, heard as a child, can deeply wound.

2.  Your past mistakes disqualify you from God ever working through you.  The evil one might communicate thoughts indicating that no one has failed like you.

Yet, God’s grace is greater than any mistake you have ever made. It is greater than the offense that put you in jail, the affair, or the past drug issues. God’s forgiveness is larger than any failure in your past.  Through his powerful forgiveness and grace, God can redeem the brokenness in your life. It is possible to start over.

3.  You just don’t measure up.  It is amazing just how many put-downs some hear every day.  The source may be social media, one’s acquaintances, or even one’s own family. Perhaps some of this criticism comes from our own “inner critic.” The inner critic might say, “You are too old or too young.  You are not as smart, outgoing, or as attractive as others.”  Walk through any magazine display.  Everyone seems to have perfect skin, a perfect shape, a beautiful smile.  You may come away feeling plain, ordinary, too small or too large.  Yet, long ago when Israel was choosing a king, we were told that while others may focus on human appearance, God focuses on a person’s heart (I Samuel 16:7).

4.  Your life will never be significant.  This lie suggests that you are lacking in significance unlike those who serve as medical doctors, attorneys, professional football/basketball players, celebrities, etc.  You may think, “I am just a teacher, just a preacher, or just an hourly worker.”  Yet a significant life is not determined by your achievements or what you have acquired in life. Rather, a significant life is one in which we live in harmony with God.

The truth is far more attractive than any of the above.

* I really do matter to God.

* My past mistakes do not disqualify me from experiencing God’s grace and forgiveness.

* I am more concerned about living out of the reality of my life than creating any pretense about my life.

* I am significant as a child of God. My significance is not something I have achieved or acquired but is God-given.

Three Ways To Increase Your Effectiveness With Others

(Especially for Ministers and Church Leaders)

The following are three of the most important behaviors I have learned for working with a congregation of any size. I first heard these, many years ago, from Dr. Edwin Friedman in his post-graduate seminar in Bethesda, Maryland. Later, I would read more about them in two of his books: Generation to Generation and A Failure of Nerve.

Be a calm presence.  

There is often much anxiety in congregations.  Various people may have strong opinions and demand their way. Some may threaten to leave while others make demands or give ultimatums.  

Sometimes, a group of elders will attempt to pass off their own anxiety to a new minister in the congregation. More than one minister candidate has been told by the elders during the interview process, “We just want everybody to be happy.”

The minister may carry his own anxiety into his work. Or, this person may take on the anxiety of the congregation. Yet, it can be so helpful if this person can function as a non-anxious presence or is at least a less-anxious presence.  

Perhaps several families leave the congregation in one month with each family saying they are leaving because of the lack of resources for their small children.  In some congregations, there would immediate hand-wringing in the next elders’ meeting with someone demanding a quick fix. “We must do something immediately!”  A quick, rash decision is made and a hurried announcement is communicated on a Sunday morning.  Regardless, there may be push-back from the congregation.  Quick, rash decisions are not usually the way to deal with anxiety in a church.

Stay connected.

When a congregation experiences anxiety, church leaders might be tempted to disconnect emotionally from those with whom they are experiencing the greatest conflict.  If a minister has conflict with a particular elder or staff person, that minister may look for ways to disconnect with the elder/staff person, both physically and emotionally.  

The minister might even become embroiled in an anxious dispute with the elders in an us-versus-them conflict.  He may disconnect from them emotionally and then wonder why things are getting even worse.

It is important to stay emotionally connected, as much as possible with the people in your church, even those with whom you typically disagree. This doesn’t mean you have to be “close” friends.  However, one can take the initiative to prevent cut-offs and complete disconnections.

Have a position.

Staying connected with others does not mean you have to forfeit your opinions. Some ministers/elders attempt to ride the fence on most everything.  If cutting yourself off from the critics is on one end of a continuum, the other end might be those who attempt to be whatever any group in the church wants them to be. They attempt to avoid conflict at all costs.  

These efforts basically reflect that the church leader is willing to abandon any sense of leadership in order to avoid conflict.  In other words, he is willing to sacrifice progress over peace.  

It is far better to state where you are in your thinking while valuing everyone else in the congregation whether they hold your position or not.

Leadership is hard work.  It begins with learning to manage yourself.  These three behaviors are very important if a congregation is going to be able to make any progress. They have been very helpful to me.

Resources

* You might enjoy reading Dr. Jeremie Beller’ fine article in The Christian Chronicle (March 2022) entitled, “Preaching to be heard: Why it matters so much.” Excellent!

* See Thomas Oppong’s helpful piece “A Learning Secret: Write Things Down to Retain And Remember More,” March 7.

* “Americans are besieged by stress, poll finds” by Erika Edwards, March 10, 2022.

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

The List of Five

(Unsplash - Joshua Sortino)

Remember This When You Are Discouraged

Who is like you, Lord God Almighty? You, Lord, are mighty, and your faithfulness surrounds you. (Psalm 89:8)

Today, we trust in the mighty and faithful God! No human being, not even the most powerful among us, even comes close. The Lord Almighty, who we serve, makes even the most powerful on this earth seem small.

Today, we live as a people who bear the image of this Almighty God. Consequently, you really do matter, along with every other person you will encounter today.

Today, know that you are valuable before God. Others may forget your accomplishments. They may no longer value the way you served in the past, the contribution you made, or the experience you offer. Your value does not depend on how well others recognize that value. Your value is determined by God.

Today, we find our worth, our value, and our significance in God. God knows and remembers - even when others seem to forget.

Don’t Settle For Being Half-alive

Half-alive people can have a faith that never even comes close to doing anything remotely daring.

Half-alive people may talk repeatedly about their experience or formal education in an attempt to communicate self-importance, while in the meantime, giving those nearby a front row seat to their insecurity.

Half-alive people may insist on doing whatever might seem easiest and least difficult even if it means sacrificing what they claim to be important.

Half-alive people often perceive that the best days of their lives are behind them. They speak of themselves as being old not realizing that their worst enemy is not their biological age but their self pity.

Half-alive people have lost any sense of wholeheartedness. Instead they are passive and bland, lacking deep devotion and feeling/believing nothing very deeply.

Half-alive people can be found in church leadership roles, going through the motions of being in the role, and yet having lost what it means to be a disciple of Jesus.

Half-alive people often find a way to sabotage other’s lives through passive-aggressiveness. They douse another’s passion for the Gospel with their own cynicism.

You and I don’t have to settle for being half-alive! Wholehearted devotion to Jesus as Lord is possible.

Realizing this is half the battle.

If you have found something helpful in this Encouragement Note, why not share it with several people who could be blessed by this? Also, if you have found something particularly helpful, I would love to hear from you (jmartin9669@gmail.com).

Eight Realities I Wish I Had Learned Sooner (Particularly for ministers/church leaders)

* At the very heart of ministry is the critical need for a minister to tend to one’s own soul. Nothing is more important.

* I am a disciple of Jesus before I am a leader. (I appreciate hearing my friend Carson Reed say this.) Any church I serve needs for me to be serious follower of Jesus. I may be a minister, a preacher, an elder, etc. These roles come AFTER my primary identity as a disciple of Jesus.

* The place to begin in my own discipleship is my marriage and my life as a parent. If I neglect to be a disciple of Jesus at home, I am probably going to significantly limit my ministry outside my home. Being a disciple is not a role to be practiced in ministry. This is a life I am called to live wherever I am.

* The people to whom I preach may hear the same teaching and emphasis from another preacher. They may remember that the other preacher said it and not me. This does not have to be discouraging. Thank God for any reinforcement to the preaching/teaching I am attempting to do.

* The Internet can be such an incredible blessing or it can be a means to waste time. Lord, help me to know how to use this helpful tool.

* I should not assume that long-time church members know the Biblical story that is expressed throughout the Bible. Many people know bits and pieces of Scripture but do not know the larger narrative in the Bible.

* Adults in Bible classes need more than to have a truck load of content dumped at their feet for 50 minutes. So many of us could benefit by some content, some thoughtful, reflective questions and good application of Scripture.

* “Pay now or pay later.” Either do what needs to be done right now, or you will often find that later the situation may become far more complicated.

A Miracle Assist

Sometimes, it is helpful to stop and pay attention to something inspiring. I love this story about two boys, cancer, and a North Carolina basketball team. (It is only 3:28 long.) This inspiring story may stay with you the rest of the day!

Resources

* I listened to an excellent interview in the last few weeks. “Cary Nieuwhof: Why Burnout is Not Inevitable and How Pastors Can Avoid It.” See “The Stetzer ChurchLeaders Podcast.

* Listening to Arthur Brooks new book, From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life. An interesting read from a professor who grapples with the idea of “happiness.”

* Michael Thompson has written a brief article that I enjoyed, “To Stand Out Make Yourself Small,” Medium, February 14, 2022.

* I enjoyed listening to this 15 minute podcast: “Book Bite #1: You Get Around 4,000 Weeks on Earth. How Should You Spend Them?” This features Oliver Burkeman who recently wrote the book, 4,000 Weeks: Time Management For Mortals.

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

One evening, I called my friend “Bob.” We talked for a moment and then he said, “Let’s meet at Barnes and Noble (bookstore) in a few minutes.” We found a place to talk in the coffee shop area. He listened patiently as I poured out my frustrations.

That evening, he encouraged me. Regardless of how your week is going, I hope the following, “List of Five,” encourages you.

(Unsplash - Михаил Секацкий

The List of Five

The Person I Want to Be

What do you see when you look into the mirror?

Some may look into the mirror and get focused on perceived inadequacies, blunders, and a long history of messing up.

Yet, what if you were to look into the mirror and see the many ways you have impacted others for good? What if you were to consider those occasions in which you made a positive difference?

When some speak, their words seem judgmental, harsh, and condemning. Basically, “If you don’t see this my way, there is something wrong with you.” All around us, there seems to be so much intense anger and outrage. Yet, consider the number of men and women who might be refreshed and invigorated by your encouragement. The following words from Philemon 7 are important:

Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people.

What a powerful statement regarding the presence and words of another! So what about you and me?

* Could we pray for the kind of love that might give another joy and encouragement?

* What if this love were used by God to refresh the hearts of His people?

Perhaps what many of us need today are words that reflect patience, kindness, and graciousness. I want to be a person who gives others joy and encouragement. I want my love to refresh the hearts of others.

We can not control the way others speak or behave. However, you and I can be intentional in two areas:

* How we listen. What if I attempted to understand another before I speak a critical word regarding what that person said? Am I looking for a kernel of truth in another’s words?

* How we speak. What if I spoke to another with the conviction that this person was created in the image of God and is loved by Him? How might this impact my tone?

What if you and I were to each make a list of 5-10 people who need our encouragement? Family members. Co-workers. Church leaders. Someone who has taken on a new challenge. Someone who seems discouraged.

What if we were to pray and then take a small practical action to encourage? This can begin with an encouraging text message or e-mail that you might send someone this evening.

What may seem small can become mighty in the hands of God!

Avoid This Flaw and Your Friends Will Be Thankful

The flaw? Being a know-it-all.

Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella believes there are two types of people: know-it-alls and learn-it-alls.

The latter have a growth mindset, always striving to learn more and do better. Meanwhile, the know-it-all attempts to mask his/her insecurity by always knowing better, knowing more, or knowing more accurately.

You know these people. Consider their response to something you might say:

* “We ate at the most wonderful restaurant last night. Their fish is amazing!” The know-it-all says: “That’s nothing. If you really want the best fish around you need to go to Doc’s Seafood.”

* “Recently, I read a great book on child-rearing. It was so helpful.” The know-it-all responds: “Yea, that book is ok. However, if you want to read the most up-to-date information on rearing children, you need to read Dr. Joe Kid’s book on rearing children. There is no other book like this one!”

* “We loved visiting the new museum this week!” The know-it-all says: “That’s nice but if you really want to go to an amazing museum, you need to go to the new one in Atlanta.”

The know-it-alls have a way of diminishing the value of most anything you say.

Consider however, the learn-it-alls. These people are genuinely trying to learn. They are far more concerned with learning and growing, than appearing to know more than others. These people do not put their insecurity on display like the know-it-alls. Instead, they excel in the following:

* A learner is genuinely curious about what another has said or experienced.

* A learner listens well. He is more interested in fully hearing someone, instead of just waiting for that person to stop talking so he can begin to give his thoughts.

* A learner asks very good questions. Clarifying questions. Follow-up questions. Questions which invite another to elaborate or give an example of what is being said.

Bottom line: The know-it-all can absolutely drain the energy out of most any group. On the other hand, a learner can bring energy into a conversation. In fact, a learner can energize the individuals who make up a group.

Are you and I still learning? 

Don’t Underestimate the Power of Beauty in Your Life

The human soul is hungry for beauty… When we experience the Beautiful, there is a sense of homecoming. Some of our most wonderful memories are beautiful places where we felt immediately at home. We feel most alive in the presence of the Beautiful for it meets the needs of our soul. For a while the strains of struggle and endurance are relieved and our frailty is illuminated by a different light in which we come to glimpse behind the shudder of appearances and sure form of things.

(Irish poet John O’Donohue)

The coffee shop was small and the coffee was excellent! It was just down the street from the hotel where I was staying. I had flown through the night and was now in Zagreb, Croatia for Mladen Jovanovic’s funeral. Mladen was a dear friend and his ministry was supported by the Crestview Church in Waco, Texas where I preached for many years. Mladen often spoke about the beauty of Croatia. The day of his funeral, I rode with several men from Zagreb to Mladen’s burial place. It was incredibly beautiful (Donji Zagon near the town of Novi Vinodolski in Dalmatia, on Croatia’s Adriatic coast)!

“We feel most alive in the presence of the beautiful. . .”

Consider the beauty you have experienced. When have you felt most alive? Could it be that you and I need to be more intentional about placing ourselves before beauty?

For me some of these beautiful places might include:

* The presence of my grandchildren (Brody, Lincoln, Sully, Elsie)

* Listening to music that is beautiful. Maybe it is the performer(s). Maybe it is a particular song. In the presence of this beauty, I can be moved deeply.

* Standing on the sand in the evening, looking at the ocean which seems to stretch as far as the eye can see. I have many memories of gazing at this beauty, particularly on the Gulf Coast.

* Watching the birds in our backyard (humming birds, cardinals, and occasionally a large owl that sits on our fence.)

Fyodor Dostoyevsky wrote, “Beauty is the battlefield where God and Satan contend for the hearts of men.” Beauty is powerful and persuasive. When it touches the heart, it brings perspective—it can even inspire the heart to courage.

(Stuart Greaves, “Beholding the Beauty of Jesus” 3/18/20)

What about you? Where are your places of beauty? Do you need to be more intentional about finding places of beauty and enjoying these more? Meanwhile, we gaze at one who epitomizes beauty, God himself.

One thing I ask from the Lord,    this only do I seek:that I may dwell in the house of the Lord    all the days of my life,to gaze on the beauty of the Lord    and to seek him in his temple.

(Psalm 27:4)

Becoming a Much Better Listener

Recently I was on a Zoom call with a young man. At one time he and I were a part of the same congregation. In the course of the conversation, I asked if he could identify someone in his life who was an exceptional listener. He named a person from the congregation whom we both knew. Interestingly enough, this was the very person I had in mind.

Recently, I watched an excellent video entitled, “The Art of Generous Listening” by Krista Tippett. Tippett is known for her incredible interviews that are featured on her podcast, On Being. The following is a paraphrase of a few of her observations:

* We learn that listening is to be quiet while the other person says what they have to say until it’s time for me to have the opportunity to say what I have to say. But actually, listening is not about quiet. Being quiet is a side effect. Listening is about being actively present.

* Listening involves vulnerability. Yet, today we are so guarded and so clear about what we have to say. We know what we have to present and what we have to protect.

* In addition to listening well, is the art of asking better questions. In American life, we typically focus on answers and usually these are competing answers. In addition, some of our questions are really not just questions. Some questions are actually tools or weapons to incite someone, corner someone, catch someone or at least be entertaining.

Perhaps a place for all of us to begin is a genuine desire to be a good — a very good, listener.

Where do you need to begin?

This is the 50th issue of this Encouragement Note. I write this Encouragement note every other week in a effort to encourage someone like you. If you have not yet subscribed to receive this every other Monday morning by e-mail, I encourage you to do so.

Some of the Most Important Information You Might Hear (Particularly for Ministers/Church Leaders)

For years, I have suggested to younger ministers that when beginning a new congregational ministry, it is important to listen closely. These people in the congregation will tell you about themselves. They will often share details about their lives that they may not mention again. Some examples:

* “Our daughter ‘Emily’ has been a real challenge at times. However, since she got out of drug rehab last year, she has been like a different person. We are encouraged.”

* “We have been members at this congregation for over thirty years. We love this church though I can’t say we are really involved. By the way, you should probably know that our son is in prison.”

* “As you know, my husband is one of the elders at this church. He’s not one to say a lot about himself. However, I will tell you that I have never seen him so discouraged. A few people who have been our friends for many years made some accusations about his motives that hurt him deeply.”

* “We’ve been married twenty five years and have three children. We hit a rough patch about fifteen years ago. My husband and I were separated for awhile. He was on the road and got a little too close to one of his customers. He eventually quit that job. We are in a much better place now.”

Maybe you are not a new minister in a congregation or you may not even be a minister at all. Regardless, here are a few suggestions:

* When someone is telling you what happened, listen for the details. If you miss some of these details, don’t hesitate to ask the person to repeat what you missed. This often shows that you are listening intently.

* Listen to understand before you respond. If you don’t understand what was said, ask for clarity.

It is very important that we listen, really listen, to one another. Some conversations probably won’t be repeated. Sometimes people will reveal a few personal details they may never mention again.

Listening matters.

Resources

* I listen regularly to Steve Cuss’ podcast, Managing Leadership Anxiety. See this recent conversation with Cary Nieuwhof. Excellent!

* Also, Tod Bolsinger (author of Canoeing the Mountains and Resilience) was recently interviewed about the times in which we live. This conversation is very good. See “Forming Leadership Resilience.”

* Check out this brief (less than two minutes) video as Beth Comstock interviews Microsoft CEO, Satya Nadella, “Why you should be a learn-it-all not a know-it-all.”

* See this very fine article on “burnout.” “Burnt Out on Burnout: How to Cultivate a New Outlook on Stress for 2022” by Lauren Valenti, January 7, 2022.

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

I do know that some of the most profound prayers one might ever pray may sound rather simple. This prayer may come from the lips of a child, a man or woman who is discouraged, or a minister who doesn’t know what to do.

(Todd Trapani - Unsplash)

The List of Five

A Simple But Profound Three Word Prayer

Recently, I was reading the story of the Canaanite woman (Matthew 15:21-28). I was struck by the words of her prayer as she knelt before Jesus: “Lord, help me!”

Could this be your prayer as we begin this New Year?

* Are you a single mother, grappling with how to rear three children by yourself? — You may be praying, “Lord help me!”

* Are you deeply lonely, wondering what your future holds? — “Lord help me!”

* Are you a school teacher, exhausted from teaching during these difficult times? — “Lord help me!”

* Are you facing a strong temptation, fearful that you might yield? — “Lord help me!”

* Are you wrestling with depression, wondering when you are going to get out of this deep dark hole? — “Lord help me!”

* Are you a minister or church leader, discouraged by all that has gone on in your congregation during the pandemic? — “Lord help me!”

Of course, it could be that you are not in a crisis. Maybe you are just tired and exhausted from life. You too may wish to pray, “Lord help me!”

Like the Canaanite woman, Jesus hears you when you cry out to him. He hears you. He sees you. He affirms your persistent faith.

Know that even the simplest prayer of dependence, coming from you, matters deeply to God. “Lord, help me!”

An Action You Can Take That Will Make a Real Difference

Water began to drip from our living room ceiling. Right in the middle of our 2021 Christmas holidays! All of our children and grandchildren were present. Water was dripping from the ceiling, right under an upstairs bathroom. This set into motion conversations with the plumber, the insurance agent, the water damage crew, the “tile guy” and others. Then, of course, we had a nice size hole in our living room ceiling.

Ironically, as consuming as this was to Charlotte and me, you would never have known we had a problem if you were to drive down our street and view the exterior of our house. In fact, everything looked normal - from the outside.

In some respects, this is similar to what it means to be human. Most of us only see the exterior of another person. As you see the exterior of their lives, they may appear to be doing quite well. (“They just went on another big vacation!”) Yet, the interior of their lives may need a lot of attention. There may be “leaks” and other areas that need adjustment. Yet, far too many people worry more about their exterior appearance than what is going on within them internally. They may put more energy into creating a great selfie for Instagram than dealing with some of the mess within.

If you want to inspect the condition of your interior life, the following are a few good places to begin:

1. Your daily habits that help form and shape your soul.  Prayer, scripture reading, silence, and many, many other spiritual disciplines can be very helpful.  (See Adele Ahlberg Calhoun, Spiritual Disciplines Handbook: Practices that Transform Us, 2005)

2. Your relationships with others. Your spouse. Your children. Other family members. Your friends.

3. What you give your attention to. When water began leaking from our ceiling, I called a plumber quickly. I did not delay, thinking I would eventually get around to it. What or who needs your attention today?

4. What you are thinking or feeling right now. This is about self-awareness. Can you identify what is taking place within you? Are you sad? Angry? Feeling discouraged? It can be helpful to simply recognize what is going on within you.

5. The unhealthy and unholy distractions in your life. What are you giving your attention to that is unhealthy or unholy? It may be an attitude or a behavior that is wrong. What is it that you know you need to stop doing?

In your work or ministry, it is important to start with yourself and your own interior life. After that you can begin to examine the institutions you are a part of (your work, ministry, etc.)

Hear the words of Parker Palmer:

Everything in us cries out against it. That is why we externalize everything - it is far easier to deal with the exterior world. It is easier to spend your life manipulating an institution than dealing with your own soul. We make institutions sound complicated and hard and rigorous, but they are simplicity itself compared with our inner labyrinths. (cited in, Peter Scazzero, The Emotionally Healthy Leader, p. 51)

In the meantime, know that when you see your friend’s selfie on social media, there is more to that person’s life than what you are seeing at that moment.

Know that real change and strong character come from paying attention to your interior life. Pay attention to this and you are doing something significant in 2022.

Finally, the following four questions might be helpful as you reflect on your interior life:

* What do you tend to daydream about? What do you find yourself imagining?

* What did you learn last year (2021) that you wish to carry over to your walk with God this year (2022)?

* When you are tired, weary, or fatigued, do you have habits or tendencies that are really not very helpful? (For example, when tired, some people are on edge and tend to be curt and abrupt with their family and others. Not really helpful toward building healthy relationships.) What have you learned to do that is helpful?

* Six months from now, what kind of disciplines or practices do you want to have in place for the benefit of your interior life and your future?

I Don’t Want to Sound Weird But . . .

“I’m lonely.”

Many us may even feel embarrassed at acknowledging this. So says the excellent article by Susan Mettes, “The Riddle of Church Loneliness” that appeared recently in Christianity Today (November 2021, p. 45).

Maybe you have felt this at different times. I certainly have. The following are some conversations about loneliness I’ve had with others:

* The college student who is away from home for the first time.

* The person who is struggling with depression and wonders if there is anyone else who feels this way.

* The new family at church. People are friendly at this church but the family is having difficult breaking into social circles.

* The newly retired person who lived a work life where he/she felt needed and in demand. Now the need and demand seem to be gone. As one person told me, “My phone is not ringing. I’m not the person everyone is calling.”

* The single mother who works hard, is raising her three children and looking for a place to belong.

Susan Mettes writes:

Loneliness is the distress someone feels when their social connections don’t meet their need for emotional intimacy. So, it’s lack. It’s disappointment. It’s something we are conscious of, even when we don’t call it loneliness. Loneliness is the thirst that drives us to seek companionship - or, perhaps better, fellowship. Without fellowship, we go on needling others and seeking relief for that need. . . . Most people who feel lonely at least weekly say that it’s intense but not excruciating. However, of those who did feel lonely, about one in ten are suffering deeply, saying their loneliness is unbearable . . . .

If you have felt lonely, know that you are not weird or odd. If anything, this might simply indicate that you are fully alive and need connection with others.

In the meantime, be intentional with your life when you are in the presence of others. For example:

* Spend your day focused on loving God and loving others. You can do this as you teach school, coach a team, or sell a product.

* Play the long game instead of impulsively yielding to whatever might give a moment of pleasure.

* Invest your life in your spouse, children, friends, and others who would love to have your attention even for a few minutes. Jesus will use these moments.

* Brighten another’s day with your smile, your encouraging words, and your willingness to “roll up your sleeves” and help.

Does this solve loneliness? No. However, it might keep you from spending your life waiting for something to happen or desperately trying to get the attention of others. Instead, you are intentional with your presence with others, trusting Jesus to be at work.

You Can Do This (Especially for Ministers/Church Leaders)

Ministry is sometimes joyful, it is sometimes painful, but it is often very, very hard!

To all who serve as ministers (and any other Christ-followers who might be blessed by this):

* You matter. You are so dear to the Father.

* Your ministry matters. I know, sometimes you may wonder if it is not all in vain. For many, there have been deep disappointments and reasons to be discouraged. Yet, you may be doing far more good than you might ever know.

* Your God is with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.

I know that some shepherds go to great lengths to affirm and communicate appreciation to their ministers. Yet there are far too many churches where ministers work hard, serve faithfully, and there are few if any affirming words or words of appreciation. Just silence.

Ministers, know that the Father hears you, sees you, and is delighted with your faithful service.

As you continue to serve, hear these words from Rick and Kay Warren who said the following in a recent interview with Ed Stetzer:

“When you’re under severe stress,” said Rick, “when you’re in chronic chaos, which is what we’re in right now, set and stick with a simple routine…You need to remember that routine develops resilience, predictability creates stability in ministry and in life, structure creates steadiness.” 

Following a routine includes maintaining basic boundaries like not staying up or sleeping in late. Another important part of a routine is taking regular breaks, such as going on a walk. Kay said, “What we’re learning is that you’re actually more productive if you take several five-minute breaks during your day, rather than something that is all at one time…Just know that if you’re going to be sitting and doing something for a while, it’s so much better to get up.” She also emphasized the importance of good eating habits and exercise, noting that we are all individually responsible for our own decisions in these areas. 

If you enjoyed this issue of “Jim Martin’s Encouragement Note,” please pass this on to friends. Also, I would love to hear from you if you found something particularly helpful or meaningful to you (jmartin9669@gmail.com).

Resources

See Kathleen Smith, “Four Questions to Help You Grow Up” in Medium, January 2022.

Just finished listening to Cokie Roberts, We Are Our Mothers’ Daughters. An excellent book. Listened to the audio version and glad I did. Roberts narrates the book herself.

I’ve been reading Amanda Ripley’s High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out. Very helpful book.

See Kathleen Smith’s excellent article, 20 Questions for Growing in the New Year, January 7, 2022. Smith says much about the application of systems thinking even in the questions she raises.

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

Regardless, it is an opportunity to begin again. It is a great moment to revisit our purpose and passion for living. It is a time to be intentional about daily habits and practices.

I hope 2022 is a significant year for you, filled with God’s abiding presence, and guided by his purpose. May we live for his pleasure.

The List of Five

A Great Reminder for Anyone Who Might be Tired

Promise me you’ll always remember: you’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

Winnie-the-Pooh

* You are braver — than you believe (“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.” Isaiah 41:10)

* You are stronger — than you seem (“I will strengthen you and help you;” Isaiah 41:10)

* You are smarter — than you think (“I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your well-being like the waves of the sea.” Isaiah 48:17-18)

Do you need to be brave? God will give you courage. Do you need to be strong? God will give you strength. Do you need wisdom and understanding? God will help you.

If you are like me and so many others, you may feel tired as you begin this New Year. After all, this has been a tough few years for many, many people. Some may feel like giving up.

* What's the use in being married? This is just too hard.

* What’s the use in holding on to these moral standards? No one else seems to care.

* What’s the use in staying in this ministry role? These people are more concerned about their opinions than what Jesus says.

“What’s the use” you might say.

Yet, I encourage you to start this New Year with this good news:

* YOU are brave! God, through his Spirit, dwells in you and enables you to hold on and even thrive.

* YOU are strong! You may be worn out. Yet, God will give you strength beyond your own human strength. You can rely on God who will strengthen you.

* YOU are smart! Yet, God will give you wisdom that goes way beyond your intellect.

Begin the year believing that you were created in the very image of God. By the grace of God and in the power of his Spirit, you can navigate life even when it is hard. After all, your ability to persevere through life is not up to you.

God is with you. It doesn’t matter if you have excellent health or if you are dealing with a critical health issue. God is with you. Whether your problems seem minimal or massive, he is with you (Daniel 3:16-18).

New Year resolutions and goals may be helpful. What is essential, however, is that you and I stake our existence on the presence and activity of the Lord God in our lives. Do this you are off to a good beginning for this New Year.

What Are You Absolutely Committed To?

In the Harry Potter series, there is a scene where Rubeus Hagrid accompanies Harry Potter to the train station. Harry Potter wants to take a train to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy. Rubeus Hagrid hands Harry Potter his train ticket and says, “Here’s your ticket. Stick to it, Harry, that’s very important. Stick to your ticket.”

Harry looked at his ticket. It said that his train was leaving from platform 9 and 3/4. He could have assumed this was an error. He could have assumed the ticket meant platform 9. Instead, he chose to stick to his ticket. He and another family find platform 9 and 3/4 and he boards the train for Hogwarts.

He did what he was told. “Stick to your ticket.”

As 2022 begins, perhaps we need to be reminded to stick to our ticket. As we begin this New Year, we affirm again that Jesus is Lord. Others may choose a path that puts their own desires and wants first. We, however, are called to trust and follow the ways of Jesus. Consequently, we need to stick to our ticket!

2020-2021 were pandemic years. What now? We stick to our ticket! Regardless of what we might encounter in 2022, our primary allegiance is to the Lord Jesus.

Perhaps, it would be helpful to reflect on these four questions as we reflect on 2021 (credit to Sharon Hodde Miller). The words in brackets are my own responses to these questions:

* What did you learn about yourself this year? (I learned that my daily self-care is essential for living an intentional life.)

* What was the primary source of your anxiety this year? (My primary source of anxiety was in focusing too much on what I cannot control in the future.)

* What old rhythms from before the pandemic have you slipped back into? (At times, I once again read too much negative news.)

* How has God been faithful to you? (God has provided the energy I have needed to navigate through this season.)

What are your responses to these four questions?

Whether you are a business person, a minister, a school teacher or simply a mom or dad trying to rear your children, let us stick to the ticket.

Some of the Most Valuable Thinking You Might Do

Michael Hyatt suggests that there are three dimensions of our lives. There is “you as an individual, your relationships with others, and your "doing.” I find this helpful as I consider my own life.

Myself as an individual

* What is the status of my physical health? Do I need to attend to some aspect of my health that I have been neglecting?

* Am I getting enough exercise and sleep? What about my eating habits?

* Am I practicing good spiritual and emotional self-care?

My Relationships

* If married, what adjustments do I need to make with my attitude, my behavior, and my priorities?

* What might I do intentionally to bless my children or my grandchildren this year?

* Is there a friend with whom I want to re-connect with? Where would be a good place to begin?

My “Doing”

Frederick Buechner has said, “Vocation is the place where our deep gladness meets the world's deep need.”

* Are there aspects of my work in which I would like to grow and develop?

* As I think about my service to others in our church or community, is there some kind of equipping or training I need in order to serve in a particular area?

* What if I considered volunteering to serve my community in some way? Could this in some way allow me to grow and stretch beyond my usual work?

Hopefully, this is helpful. Right now, I am thinking about these three areas in my own life. For me, pondering these three areas often reveal a few gaps that need attention in the New Year.

Start Here: Get Clear About Your Identity

Early in our marriage, we lived in North Alabama. Our children were born in North Alabama. I look back at these years and remember so many good experiences.

Part of the culture in the state of Alabama is the intense rivalry of the two large universities, The University of Alabama and Auburn University. To describe this rivalry as “very intense” feels like an understatement. This rivalry goes on year around, culminated by the “Iron Bowl,” when the rivals play football each November.

We had moved from Abilene, Texas to Florence, Alabama where I served a church for almost eight years. Shortly after our move, a man in the congregation approached me one Sunday morning and said abruptly, “So who you for?” It was sort of like “once and for all, I have to know which side you are on!”

I answered, “Listen, we just moved here. I’m not for anybody!” Of course that was not a sufficient answer. The guy went on to say, “Well you are going to have to be for somebody!” Basically he wanted to know, “Are you one of us, or are you one of them?”

At the beginning of this New Year, it is important to remember who we are. The clear words of Mary in Luke 1:38 might be helpful. Mary said to the angel who appeared to her: “I am the Lord’s servant.” She then said, “May your word to me be fulfilled.”

At that point in her life, Mary was in a very stressful and intense situation. Yet, she declares her identity as the Lord’s servant. This identity determines who she is and what she does with her life. Clearly she has chosen who she is for!

Perhaps we could begin the New Year by simply affirming who we are. “I am the Lord’s servant.” This identity gives perspective to any other identities we might have.

We are first servants of the Lord.

Only then can we talk about national, political, regional, or any other identities. When other identities come first, we may find ourselves focused more on “Who are you for?” than what pleases Jesus as Lord.

As Christian people, all other identities are to find their place in our primary identity as Christ-followers. So we can say with Mary, “I am the Lord’s servant.”

Thanks for reading these “Encouragement Notes.” If you know someone who might be blessed or encouraged by them, please share them. Almost every week, more subscribe. There is no cost.

Resources

* I read several biographies recently including The Chancellor, a biography of Angela Merkel, by Katie Marton. Also read, Cokie: A Life Well Lived, a biography of Cokie Roberts written by her husband Steven V. Roberts.

* See Austin Klenon’s interview with David Epstein, author of Range. I read the summary which included Kleon’s interesting preparation notes.

* During Christmas, we had some amazing cheese from Trader Joe’s (brought by our daughter Jamie from OKC). See Fomage Pave. Oh my goodness!

* Listening to H. Hunt, Playing Piano For Dad. This is also on Spotify. (Thanks to Austin Kleon). Also don’t miss Kleon’s “How to Make a Map of Your Mind.” I find this very interesting.

* You might enjoy the podcast featuring my friend Josh Kingcade (Edmond, Oklahoma). “Reading the Bible Responsibly.” Brief. Thoughtful. Practical. For some help regarding habits and practices, you might enjoy listening to this recent podcast. Excellent.

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

Sometimes life is full of surprises. At other times, it may be filled with the ordinary. Regardless, we are in need of the Lord’s strength and grace to navigate through it all. Hopefully the following is helpful.

The List of Five

One of the Best Gifts - Your Friendship

I met John years ago when I preached in Florence, Alabama. He would often come to church on Sunday evenings by himself. John was in his late 40s, a short man with closely cropped red hair and a ruddy complexion. He had a great smile. On these Sunday evenings, he would often say something kind to me about the sermon.

John was a high school basketball referee. We would frequently talk about some of the recent games he had officiated.

Then he seemed to almost vanish.

He was gone for months. I didn’t have his phone number, but I finally located his address. Late one afternoon, I stopped by his house. He answered the door and greeted me with that same familiar smile.

He nervously said, “I’ve been in jail. I hope you don’t think I’m a bad person. I wrote some hot checks - again.”

I was a young minister in my mid-twenties. I didn’t understand why John seemed to be stuck in an endless cycle of writing bad checks and then going to jail. I never gave him money and certainly didn’t want to enable him. Yet, neither did I want to abandon him.

A few months later, I visited with him again, this time at the Lauderdale County Jail. He was in a large area with a number of other prisoners. I was on the other side of the bars in an area where we could talk. He came near to where I was standing and said, “Well Jim, I did it again.”

I really felt for John. At the time, I didn’t know what to say and certainly didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to say about God. I was young and inexperienced. However, I knew he needed a friend.

It has been many years since I last saw John. Yet, I learned so much during that period of time. One of the best things I learned was the value of simply being a friend to someone in trouble.

During the holidays, you and I may see relatives and acquaintances we haven’t see in quite sometime. You may learn of someone’s job loss, a person’s battle with cancer, or a distant relative’s painful divorce. You may not know what to say or do.

Yet, one of the greatest gifts you and I could give to another is our friendship. Perhaps the following might make a difference:

* I could follow up a conversation by simply showing interest regarding something the person mentioned such as a job interview or a medical issue.

* I could send a text or a note acknowledging the conversation we had after lunch that day and communicate that I have been praying for that person (assuming this to be true).

* I could do something that might be practical and helpful to another. Showing a genuine interest and paying attention to another really matters.

Regardless of how I might follow up, behaving as a friend can be very significant to someone. This may just be one of the most significant ways that God might work through you and me.

Moments that Made Me Cringe

I have said and done some of the dumbest things! I’m not talking about anything immoral, illegal, or unethical. Rather, this falls under the category of dumb!

I was a young minister and was teaching a Bible class at church. That morning the class met in a room with shiny, newly waxed, linoleum floors. About 35 people were seated in standard metal folding chairs in a very large circle. At one point, I stood, turned my chair around, and leaned on the back of the chair as I taught. Suddenly, this chair, on this slippery waxed floor, slid out from under me. I landed flat on my back, staring at the ceiling. I could hear an explosion of laughter. Finally, I got up, sat in the chair and laughed with everyone else. Good grief!

On another occasion, I was a guest preacher for a small church in west Texas. As I walked through their building on Saturday, I noticed there was no water in the baptistry. It had apparently been a long time since it had been filled. I was a young self-assured minister, far too certain about many of my opinions. I made some kind flippant remark about a church that didn’t even have water in its baptistry!

So—hours later, some of the church members began to fill it up. They let water run into that baptistry through much of the night.

I preached on Sunday morning. On Sunday evening, people came from several nearby churches. The congregation planned to host a pot luck dinner for everyone after the service. This would take place in their fellowship room, located just below the auditorium.

As I was preaching that evening, I suddenly heard a loud gurgling sound in the baptistry behind me. I didn’t turn around to look but did see some of the local people rush down the stairs to the room below. The bottom of the baptistry had split and water was rushing into the fellowship room, where the meal was to be served.

Later, I cringed as I thought about how these sweet people tried to be accommodating after my earlier remark.

These stories remind me to not take myself too seriously. No matter who we are, we remain human. Our worthiness and value are gifts from God, not determined by how well we perform throughout life. For most of us, we will probably have some silly moments. Yet, our identity is in God and our competency is found in him.

Beautiful Commitment

In a culture that doesn’t seem to value commitments, it might be worthwhile to remember an article that Lewis Smedes wrote decades ago entitled “Controlling the Unpredictable: The Power of Promising” in Christianity Today, December 1, 2002 (originally written January 21, 1983).

Smedes wrote:

When you make a promise, you tie yourself to other persons by unseen fibers of loyalty. You agree to stick with people you are stuck with. When everything else tells them they can count on nothing, they can count on you. When they do not have the faintest notion of what in the world is going on around them, they will know that you are going to be there with them. You have created a small sanctuary of trust within the jungle of unpredictability: you have made a promise you intend to keep.

What might bless and encourage another:

* To be a friend who keeps his/her promise to another.

* To be a married person who keeps his promise, even when no one else is looking.

* To be a business person who honors a promise to employees, vendors, or customers.

Not only does such promise keeping bless another but we become more like God. We are not ruled by our emotions or our fleshly desires. Rather, we keep our promises, to God and to one another. Again, Smedes wrote:

“. . . a promise, then, is the human essence of freedom after the style of God - it is your freedom to be there with someone even though you cannot tell what ‘being there’ is going to be like for you.”

Ending 2021 and Beginning 2022

I write this encouragement note every other week. Today, I am thinking about how helpful it can be to intentionally look for moments of joy, particularly as we close out the year.

The last few years have been difficult for so many of us as we attempted to navigate life in this pandemic. Many of us may feel tired and exhausted. Yet, it may be more important than ever that we choose to look for the moments of joy in our lives. Some of these may seem small - even insignificant. However, focusing on such joy can be an important part of our resilience.

What might some of these be for you this year?

* Was there a moment of joy that you experienced with a friend?

* Was there a moment of joy that you shared with your spouse, your child, or your grandchild?

* Was there a moment of joy that you experienced as you walked through a park or witnessed a magnificent sunrise?

Even in hard times, the Father continues to give his good gifts. With this perspective, we can consider how to be intentional as we begin the New Year.

You might consider Gordon MacDonald’s work, Ordering Your Private World, written in the 1980s. The book has been around for awhile, but it still offers much. MacDonald suggests that there are five sectors that need attention if we are going to have a healthy interior life:

* Sector One: Motivation

* Sector Two: Use of Time

* Sector Three: Wisdom and Knowledge

* Sector Four: Spiritual Strength

* Sector Five: Restoration

I find this helpful as I consider the attention I need to give particular areas of my life for this coming year.

May my interior life be a place where the rich presence of Christ can live, so that his beauty might be displayed in my life. Consider these lines from Jon Tyson, in his book, A Creative Minority, p. 13:

We need a vision that is not based on a fear of a godless future, or a longing for an idolized past, but a rich presence in our own time that inspires the beauty and possibility of Christ’s church.

Whatever you do as you approach the New Year, don’t minimize the ordinary moments. I love these lines from Brother Lawerence’s, The Practice of the Presence of God:

Life up your heart to Him during your meals and in company; the least little remembrance will always be the most pleasing to Him. One need not cry out very loudly; He is nearer to us than we think.

Take Away:

* We are approaching the New Year. Jesus is Lord and our past does not define 2022.

* This New Year may have a few spectacular moments but for most of us there will be plenty of ordinary moments that nevertheless are significant.

* As we look to the New Year, may our presence in the world become a beautiful reflection of Jesus himself.

Thanks for reading Jim Martin's Encouragement Note! Subscribe for free to receive new posts every other Monday morning.

Resources

* Diane Coutu, “How Resilience Works” in Harvard Business Review, May 2002. See this quote: “Resilience is neither ethically good nor bad. It is merely the skill and the capacity to be robust under conditions of enormous stress and change.”

* Lewis B. Smedes, “Controlling the Unpredictable - The Power of Promising” in Christianity Today, December 1, 2002. (Originally appeared January 21, 1983)

* I just finished a fine little book by Jon Tyson and Heather Grizzle, A Creative Minority, 2016. A short, succinct book on what the church is called to be today.

* Also read Kelli B. Trujillo’s fine interview of Jon Tyson entitle “Jon Tyson: Run into the Controversy,” in Christianity Today, Fall 2020.

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

(For those of you who are new, this encouragement note is published every other Monday morning. The sole intent is to encourage.)

(Unsplash - Artur Aldyrkhanov)

The List of Five

What I Do Not Regret

If I could start over, there are some situations I would like to handle differently. However, there are many decisions for which I have no regrets. The following are some of these:

* The time spent reading Bible stories and praying with our children.

* Reading good books that fed my mind and heart.

* Apologizing to that elder decades ago for my wrongful attitude instead of continuing to justify myself.

* Choosing to do what was right in the face of various temptations.

* Moving to a house in another school district so that our younger daughter could go to a smaller school which fit her better.

* Serving as a minister for over four decades. Yes, there was much pain but certainly much joy as well.

* Time spent in prayer for my family, people within the congregations I served, and for numerous “impossible” situations.

* Asking thoughtful questions about life, marriage, and parenting from those who were ahead of me in these areas. I am thankful for their willingness to share their habits, successes, and shortcomings.

* Time spent playing with our grandchildren. This is an investment that will last.

* Words, gestures of encouragement, and affirmation focused on others.

If This Were No Ordinary Day

Steve Jobs once said, “If today were the last day of your life, would you want to do what you are about to do today?” Simply asking this question before the day begins can help bring clarity.

So what would you do (or not do) if you knew this was the final day of your life?

I would tell my wife, my adult children (including my son-in-law), and my grandchildren that I loved them and cherished them.

I would like to be with them on my final day. I would like to smile at them and see them smile. I would like to experience a moment of joy with each one.

If I knew this were the last day of my life, I suspect I would have clarity about what I would not do. I doubt that I would worry about a future meeting, getting an upgrade on my phone, or what car I want to buy next. I probably would not mindlessly surf the Internet.

More than anything, I hope I would act with courage on my last day. Ambrose Redmoon said: “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” (Lance Witt, Replenish, p. 118)

I want to spend the day focusing on what is important, rather than surrendering to my fears.

This might be helpful:

* Today, focus on what you know is important, instead of worrying about the uncertainties of the future.

* Clarity and courage come as you focus on following Jesus today. Seek to align your activities in your exterior world with what you believe is important in your interior world.

* Feed your capacity to remain calm by meditating on God’s love, power, and presence through his Spirit. These are powerful resources!

What Makes You Feel Worthwhile?

“Strangely, some of us respond to feeling exhausted and overwhelmed by vowing to work even harder and longer. It doesn’t help that our culture glorifies burnout as a measure of success and self-worth. The implicit message is that if we aren’t perpetually exhausted, we must not be doing enough.”― Greg McKeown, Effortless: Make It Easy to Get the Right Things Done

Our culture often glorifies the person who is exhausted and works unbelievable hours. We may have conversations with some who seem to almost boast about their rigorous schedule. Some may even find delight in saying that they are “covered up” at work. Paul Tripp has written:

You can say “no” to anxiety because God’s presence and grace mean that you are never left to the limits of your own resources.

Two suggestions:

* Give something valuable to another. Give them your full presence in a conversation, allowing them to experience you instead of mainly hearing about your accomplishments and activities. As a Christ-follower, you are allowing them to experience Christ-in-you.

* If you want to really bless another, model something more than exhaustion. Why not model for them what a tired person does to rest, refresh, and renew himself/herself in the Lord?

Ministers: What Did We Sign Up For?

Ministry is not for the fainthearted or the thinned skinned. You get a front row seat to lots of pain, sin, and brokenness. You also get a front row seat to good works, moments of joy and God working through his church.

Serving congregations or people in any fashion, can be very painful. You get a front row seat to it all:

* The slow death of a cancer patient.

* The brokenness of a person whose spirit has been crushed by a self-centered, narcissistic spouse.

* The hurtful, demoralizing comment made by the domineering church leader who attempts to bully any human being in his way.

* The hard heartedness of one who refuses to forgive, while in the meantime relishing in Christ’s forgiveness for herself.

* The complacency and worldliness of certain church members.

Ministry is often hard. However, in the midst of these difficulties, we can learn to rely on God (2 Cor. 1:9).

Ministry also carries with it great joy.

* A congregation feeds and loves on hundreds of refugees from Afghanistan.

* A Christian family adopts two little girls.

* A family is baptized and is now experiencing a new community in Christ.

These joys are very real and have a way of refreshing our spirits.

Both pain and joy come to anyone who would serve a church. I don’t know what you “signed up for.” I do know the joy may be far greater than you might have imagined. The joy of ministry can be satisfying and sweet. However, you will also experience the pain of ministry. The pain can be far more intense than you ever imagined. In fact, you might wonder if you are able to endure this. (Note Paul’s line - “We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure.” 2 Cor. 1:8.)

What might be helpful:

* Rely on the Lord not on your ministry skill, expertise, or experience. The Lord can get you through the pain and will put the joy into perspective.

* Have a few healthy friends who also serve the Lord in congregations. Support and encourage one another in times of pain and joy.

* “Paying attention to my soul and my life with Jesus results in being less preoccupied with the stresses and pressures of ministry. Having a healthy soul may not change my outward circumstances, but it makes my heart soft toward people in spite of my circumstances.” (Lance Witt, Replenish, p. 170)

God calls for us to be a community for broken people. The church’s message matters a great deal, for the truth it proclaims is the precious, eternal message of the gospel. But the church’s “life together,” as Dietrich Bonhoeffer called it, matters just as much, for such a community is proof that the gospel still has power to transform people’s lives, to heal divisions and to provide a sense of belonging for rootless people. (Gerald L. Sittser, Water from a Deep Well, p. 69)

Resources

Stephen Miller, How to Become Calm in America, WSJ, November 15, 2021.

Tim Keller, “The Decline and Renewal of the American Church: Part 1 - The Decline of the Mainline.” (This is part 1 in a series of 4 articles.)

Don Hebbard, Healing Hurting Churches, 2021. I am about halfway through this book. It is very good and helpful.

I am slowly reading Gerald L. Sittser’s Water from a Deep Well. This is a rich book dealing with the history of spirituality. I read a few pages or an entire chapter each morning.

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

The List of Five

(Unsplash - Timothy Eberly)

When is The Last Time You Felt Thirteen?

Writer Jon Acuff recently produced a podcast with the above title. He spoke about occasions when we may have felt silly or out of place. These are times when we may have felt thirteen years old again.

While in college, I was working an evening shift with UPS (United Parcel Service). An executive with the company was present. He had just begun working with the Dallas center after having moved from New Jersey. He called a brief meeting, in the middle of a shift, of those who worked in our section of the plant. We had all been either loading or unloading UPS trucks. Meanwhile, he was impeccably dressed in a tailored dark suit and white shirt. He was well spoken as he addressed our group regarding some company news. He then proceeded to pass out new company t-shirts. At one point, in an attempt to be funny, I said something to him in front of the group. Whatever I said fell flat. He said nothing but appeared to be puzzled by what I said. I felt thirteen again.

Years later, I was a very young minister full of energy and ideas but also had numerous insecurities and feelings of inadequacy. On one occasion, I was in Abilene, Texas at a gathering of ministers and other church leaders from across the country. While there, I attended a reception in the home of the dean of the Bible department. I went to this reception with a friend who was also a minister.

Inside, various small groups consisting of ministers and academics were enjoying conversation. Some talked about a recent book published or a new ministry role. I recall thinking, “They all know one another and are doing important things - all of them except me.” I felt thirteen again.

Sometime time later, I realized I had not seen my friend since we had arrived at the home. Finally, I went outside to see if his car was still there. My friend was sitting on the curb - alone. I asked him if he was ok. He said, “Yes, I just feel so out of place in such gatherings.” I was surprised. My friend seemed so confident and self assured. “How could he feel out of place?”

Looking back at that moment, I realized I was not the only one who felt thirteen again.

Can you relate to this? Like many of us, there may be times when you may feel thirteen again.

Perhaps the following might be helpful:

* First, you don’t have to allow these feelings to determine who you really are. This is one moment in time.

* You might write down the following, “Right now I feel thirteen because . . . “ Then list a few of the reasons as to why you might feel this way. Sometimes, simply writing it down can give clarity.

* You may find this to be a good occasion to remind yourself that you are called, and your competency and sense of adequacy come from Jesus.

Ten Important Truths About Life That I’ve Learned From Others

* Mary Cordell - The importance of praying throughout the day. She believed that prayer was critical conversation with the living God. She would often mention what or whom she was praying for.

* Hugh Campbell - He served as principal and football coach at our school. One day he asked me if I was planning to play football. I told him that I wasn’t because I wanted to buy a car. He said, “You only have one opportunity to do some things in life. You are going to always have a car.” At the time, I foolishly ignored his advice, but have never forgotten it.

* Lynn Anderson - He spoke of how the Psalms can help shape a person into becoming a God-hungry man or woman. He seemed to know intimately both the Psalms and the heart of God.

* Tom Olbricht - He asked questions like: “What is the heart of Scripture? What is the heart of the Old Testament or the New Testament?” Spending time focusing on what is at the heart of it all, was incredibly helpful.

* Charlotte Martin - At times, I saw her intentionally do good, express kindness, and love persons who had mistreated her in some way. She modeled the love of Jesus in this way.

* Charles Coil - I saw him, in a variety of settings, communicate value to people whom others might not have seen as valuable.

* Gordon MacDonald - Spoke of the need to “order your private world.” This had implications for my life personally, for our family, and for my work as a minister. He spoke of the importance of being attentive to the inner life.

* Liz Ziegler - Upon learning that she had advanced cancer, she said, “I want to honor God with this. I feel so compelled to glorify him by the way I handle this.”

* Landon Saunders - Just days before we got married, I heard one of the most passionate sermons I’ve ever heard as he pled for all of us to be “about the Father’s business.”

* Bill Petty - He spoke often of the importance of being a person of joy, particularly as one works with others.

What I Wish I Had Known Before I Was Thirty

* That so many of the worries and concerns I had in high school would be long forgotten in just a few years.

* How quickly my children would be grown and out on their own.

* The importance of developing and sustaining long-term, even life-long, friendships.

* That the angst and worry I had regarding various ministry opportunities was often unnecessary, futile, and distracting.

* How silly and pointless my petty jealousies really were.

* The importance of paying attention to the “little things” in the lives of others.

* That addressing my family dynamic and dysfunctions early on would help my marriage, my life as a father, and my work as a minister.

* The value of self-care, including the practice of the spiritual disciplines, habits of good mental health, and staying in physical shape.

* How my insecurities would get in the way of my marriage as well as my ministry.

* The importance of speaking words of blessing and encouragement to others.

Ministry and Life are Often Hard

A hair dresser was discussing what 2020-2021 had been like for her business. She said, “Almost every single one of my clients has talked about how difficult the pandemic has been for them. Depression. Isolation. Loneliness.”

The political election, racial injustice and the pandemic (with its quarrels over masks and vaccines) have been difficult. These and other concerns have been at the forefront of conflicts in churches across the nation.

During this time, some ministers left their churches for other vocations. Many who continue to serve describe themselves as tired, worn out, spent, and exhausted.

This is a reality.

Ministry is often hard - and sometimes very hard.

A few suggestions:

* It is critical that a minister create a routine so that each day there is abundant spiritual nourishment.

* It is so important to give attention to healthy friendships. Friendships may be one of the best antidotes to isolation and loneliness.

* It is vital to care for your body. So many of us learned during this pandemic that a walk, a run, or a workout each day can do wonders for your mood and sense of well being.

The difficulty of ministry does not mean that something is inherently wrong with you as a minister or your particular congregation. I once spoke with a woman who was very troubled about her marriage. Finally, at one point she said, “If marriage is a good thing to do, how come it is so hard?” As she elaborated on her question, I realized that she had assumed that if marriage was good, it really shouldn’t be difficult. The truth is, most any family relationship can be very difficult at times, both marriage and parenting. Yet, difficulty does not mean it is futile, dysfunctional, or a mistake.

There are sometimes seasons of ministry which may be difficult, even agonizing. Perhaps the more important question is, “How will I respond?”

Paul speaks about “the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers” (2 Corinthians 1:8-11).

Take Away:

* How do you feel? Under great pressure? Far beyond your ability to endure?

* How will you respond? Will you rely on God?

* Can you look back and see how God has already been at work? Will you ask him to deliver you again?

* Will you set your heart on the one who is with each one of us? Will you trust that he will continue to deliver you and me in answer to our prayers and the prayers of others?

Resources

* You might enjoy this podcast. I recently did this with Jon Wood (Director of the Waldron Center for Entrepreneurship and Family Business, Harding University) and his graduate assistant Tyler Roth. Much of this has to do with replenishing the soul.

* Jon Tyson’s podcast (pastor of Church of the City New York) “Intentional Family” is very good. This is a ten week series. (I have listened to about half of these)

* See Tim Keller’s new podcast, “How to Reach the West Again.”

* Jon Tyson recently preached “The Way of Jesus: The Way of Prayer.” Very good!

* See Ryan Holliday’s “Work, Family, Scene: You Can Only Pick Two.” This article made me think.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

I was in college and on my way home from work. That night, I happened to be driving my dad’s car, as mine was in the shop. No damage done, but it sure scared me.

Sometimes things seem to be out of control. Hopefully, the following will be helpful, as you and I attempt to navigate our lives.

The List of Five

What’s It Like to Be a Different Person?

“What has motivated me for so many years to be a writer is the question: What does it feel like to be a different person?” (Elizabeth Strout, WSJ, Sat/Sun, Oct 16-17, 2021, p. 6.)

What does it feel like to look at life and various situations through the eyes of another?

* What does it feel like to be a part of a congregation as a single mother with young children? What is it like to walk into a Sunday morning assembly wondering if you will have anyone to sit with?

* What does it feel like to be in your 70s or 80s? How will you feel when some no longer see you as a person of value due to your age? What would it be like for others to perceive you as irrelevant and outdated?

* What does it feel like to be married but unable to have children? What is Mother’s day like?

* What does it feel like to be a part of a congregation on Sunday morning and yet you feel as if you have no friends there?

* What does if feel like to be abandoned by your spouse?

I love Elizabeth Strout’s question. “What does it feel like to be a different person?” Maybe we could bless another person in at least attempting to understand what it might feel like to be someone else.

We have lived in several different locations during our married life including: Dallas, Texas; Florence, Alabama; Kansas City, Missouri; Waco, Texas; and Memphis, Tennessee. There are many wonderful people in each of these places. I want to remember that we all have a variety of backgrounds, experiences, assumptions, and beliefs. Consequently, it can be helpful to at least consider, “What does it feel like to be that person?”

Sometimes, while preparing for a difficult meeting, I will look in the mirror. A person in this upcoming meeting is about to see this same image of myself and make certain assumptions. Likewise, I’m sure I make particular assumptions as I look at another. We are all different and perhaps we will not fully understand each other. However, we can certainly attempt to be people who relate to others with empathy. This alone could help change the tone of at least some of our conversations.

Welcome to all of you who are new readers! This “Encouragement Note” is published every other Monday morning. There is “The List of Five” in each issue. I intend for each one of these to be brief, to the point, and hopefully in some way encourage. Typically, the last of the five are resources.

When You Forget Who You Are

Recently, coach Ed Orgeron resigned as head football coach at LSU as the result of both personal misbehavior. Two years ago, his team won the national championship (January 13, 2020). He was on top of the world and now, just a few years later, he has lost his job. One writer said, “He lost track of who he was.”

When I lose track of who I am, I am likely to forget my purpose and mission. While serving as a minister, I had numerous conversations with men and women whose own misbehavior had wrecked their lives. So many said, “I just don’t know what happened.”

Years ago, we lived in Kansas City, Missouri. I was serving a church and we were going through a difficult season. In the process, I felt depleted of significant emotional and physical energy. I felt as if I were in a deep hole and could not get out. I began to see a therapist and received help that made a huge difference. He was a person of faith and conversations were very much tied to my life before God. Seeing this therapist was probably one of the best things I have ever done as an adult. In many ways, he reminded me of my identity again.

You and I can become sluggish, preoccupied with everything in our lives that does not work, satisfy or bring joy.

What if we put our energy, passion, and intentionality into living as followers of Jesus in our work, marriage, and within a community of believers? The following might be a start for the day:

* Today, what if I did excellent work for the glory of God? Recently, I had the opportunity to speak to a business class at Harding University. I was asked to speak about leadership. As I looked at these students, I thought about the good they will do as they leave the university and do their work. It was obvious, after just one hour, that a number of them had a real kingdom mindset.

* Today, what if I loved my spouse, children, and others with a self-giving love? Refuse to let the flesh entice you to exchange the self-giving love of Jesus for a self-centered existence with your family.

* Today, what if I lived as a person fully devoted to the ways of Jesus? You are being formed and shaped into someone who is Christ-like and who is learning to die to self.

Suppose we were make our way into an arena with hundreds of other people for a basketball game. We find our seats. The band begins to play. A nice aroma is coming from the concession stand. There are announcements made over the public address system, and people are dressed in their team sweatshirts and ball caps. There may be much noise and movement. Yet, suppose there is never an actual game? Most of us would not say that we had really experienced basketball.

Meanwhile, one can be in a church assembly each week and completely forget our identity. We can be numb, lethargic, and mind-less as we slump in a pew with our minds and hears far, far way. Yet, we may think that somehow because we are in a church building with familiar songs, words, order etc. that we have actually experienced the transformative, dynamic presence of God among his people.

Could it be that we have set our sight too low and that our aim is off?

Could it be that you and I have forgotten who we are?

What if you and I were to be very intentional about aiming for the very heart of God’s will? Maybe we would have a clear sense of mission and purpose.

Ron Washington is the third base, infield coach for the Atlanta Braves. A few years ago, he was interviewed about how he helps young players develop their baseball skills. He said, “It’s hard to do it right continuously. It’s easy to do it wrong . . . Young kids today when they think they’ve got something, they’ve not as focused on it anymore.”

This statement really caught my attention because I suspect this is true in life for many adults. Sometimes, we think we’ve got something down and we just lose focus. We no longer learn or grow because we’ve got it. Maybe we need to ask simple but important questions like, “What would my life look like today if I took Jesus seriously?”

I am asking this right now as I think about the next chapter of my life.

The Laughter That Heals

She sat in the back seat as Charlotte and I drove to a church building. We were all going to a small country church building outside of Florence, Alabama to attend the funeral of a parent of one of our friends from church. As we drove to the funeral, the young woman in the back seat was telling us about her family. She was the only child of a couple and she had grown up in another congregation in the county.

She told us about her father. There was hesitation and pain in her voice as she talked about him. She then told us about a demeaning name that he called her. She had struggled with her weight as an adolescent and he teased her about this. Her father at times would refer to her as “lard bucket.”

I was stunned.

Charlotte was sitting in the front seat. She turned around and began to affirm this young woman, telling her that she did not like this insulting name used by her father. She replied by saying, “Oh, he was just joking.” Joking?

There is humor that can humiliate, shame, and destroy another’s sense of self-worth. It can leave a deep wound. This happens of course while the perpetuator hides behind the childish defense that she/he was “just joking.” In other words, “I’m not responsible for what I said or how you feel. I get a pass.”

However, there is humor that gives life, that blesses, and has a way of making the heart glad. This kind of humor can bond others through mutual enjoyment. Some may laugh at themselves or a funny story. Such humor is never at another’s expense.

Years ago, Charlotte and I knew a young woman who had the practice of clipping cartoons from newspapers, magazines, and most any source she could find. She posted many of these on her refrigerator. She explained that she needed to laugh. I think she was on to something good.

Maybe you and I can be people who spread joy and laughter. Now wouldn’t this be refreshing?

Follow Jesus but Refuse to Accept Average

But God inflames the soul with a burning craving for absolute purity. One burns for complete innocency and holiness of personal life. No man can look on God and live, live in his own faults, live in the shadow of the least self-deceit, live in harm toward His least creatures, whether man or bird or beast or creeping thing. The blinding purity of God in Christ, how captivating, how alluring, how compelling it is! The pure in heart shall see God? More, they who see God shall cry out to become pure in heart, even as He is pure, with all the energy of their souls. (Thomas Kelly, A Testament of Devotion, p. 65)

Ministers, elders, and other church leaders sometimes get bogged down in the muck and mire of “doing church.” At times, we may completely forget the mission and purpose for even being a church.

Ministry can become focused on the next meeting, hours on social media, and paying endless attention to the structure and organization of the church. While some of it may be necessary, “doing church” is not what keeps us alive as God’s people, or as a congregation.

It is critical that ministers, elders, and other church leaders regroup, recalibrate, and recenter. Only when the living God is at the center of our existence individually and collectively will we lead and preach with fire in our bellies! Only then will both our words and our lives be compelling.

I don’t know about you, but I find that most folks don’t expect to dazzled at church every Sunday. Nor, are they simply wanting to be novel. Rather, what so many people in congregations simply want is life — the life that is found through Jesus.

As a minister and/or a church leader, or any other beliver, may you and I not be distracted or discouraged.

Resources

* From the podcast, Undeceptions (John Dickson), here is an excellent conversation regarding the significance of friendship. You can find the transcript here.

* I am reading Jon Tyson’s book, Beautiful Resistance. Tyson, a pastor in New York City, writes about being the people of God in a secular world. Very thoughtful.

* James Clear wrote the following in his October 28, 2021 newsletter. I really like this!

"Your time is better spent championing good ideas than tearing down bad ones. 

The best thing that can happen to a bad idea is that it is forgotten. The best thing that can happen to a good idea is that it is shared. 

Feed the good ideas and let bad ideas die of starvation."

* Reading Water from a Deep Well: Christian Spirituality From Early Martyrs to Modern Missionaries by Gerald L. Sittser (2020). I haven’t finished this book yet but what I have read has been excellent!

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

Hopefully, you will find something in the following “List of Five” that is helpful.

The List of Five

Make Progress

Sometimes, what we believe about ourselves can really set us back. These include such beliefs as:

* I am not very smart. (Why should I raise my hand and ask a question? What if some see that I am not as smart as others in the room?)

* I always mess up. (What’s wrong with me?)

* I am always in “second place.” (Forget that dream! I could never do that!)

* Others don’t think I have that much to offer. (Everyone else has so much more to offer than me.)

The truth? You and I are God’s beloved. We are loved by the Lord (2 Thessalonians 2:13). We are seen by him and not forgotten. He will sustain us and care for us (I Peter 5:7).

How do we move forward? Christian people begin with the belief that God is greater than our problems, our discouragements, and our impossibilities.

Our mighty God is with us, for us, ahead of us, and behind us!

It is God who enables us, along with you, to stand firm for Christ. He has commissioned us, and he has identified us as his own by placing the Holy Spirit in our hearts as the first installment that guarantees everything he has promised us. (2 Corinthians 1:21-22 NLT)

So where to begin?

* Start - Take a practical step. Know that God enables you and you can take a single, practical step. For example, take ten minutes to thank God for what you have done recently that was good and right. Don’t wade off into the waters where you focus on how you could have done better. Focus on what you have done right for someone or how have you blessed someone.

Maybe you were frustrated as you returned an item to Home Depot. You were frustrated but by the grace of God you handled this incident with graciousness and patience. Celebrate this!

* Stop - Stop doing what you know is wrong. God will enable you and empower you through his Spirit. We often do not change overnight. However, you and I can be intentional about fleeing from particular behaviors, attitudes, practices, etc.

Yes, there is more to change than this. However, this is a great way to begin.

Rear Your Children with Intention

What do you wish you had known before having children? I certainly had a lot to learn. Perhaps the following might have been a good beginning:

Give your children one of the best gifts a child could ever have. Give them parents who love God and one another. If a husband and wife love and cherish one another, they give their children a precious gift.  

Children watch their parents closely.  Some parents mistakenly think their kids do not overhear their unkind words or see them roll their eyes in disgust. Yet, they have a front row seat to witness the way their daddy treats their mother and the way their mother treats their daddy.  

Children also see the tenderness their mom and dad express toward one another. They see them cherish each other and as a result experience a kind of security.

A person might travel away from home on business.  He might be tempted to engage in behavior that is unwise or even immoral. He might think, “Well at least my kids will never know what I did.” Yet, he is becoming someone different because of the choices he made while on the road.  Our choices will either build or deteriorate our character and our kids will be affected either positively or negatively based on those choices. After all, our choices shape our character. Our good character (or lack of it) is a factor in shaping our children.

If you are going to be a parent, be ready to practice self-denial. When the baby cries in the night, who feels like getting up to check on him?  Selfishly, a parent would just as soon stay in bed and ignore the cry.  Yet, a loving parent will get up and deal with the baby’s needs.  Why? Because this is what loving, unselfish parents do.  

Allow parenting to motivate you to grow in emotional and spiritual maturity. Children are going to be immature.  After all, they are children.  However, it is important that mom and dad grow up if they haven’t already.  When parents are stuck in their own immaturity, these children are really at a disadvantage.  It is difficult for children to rise above the maturity level of their parents.

Give children your undivided attention.  One of the best things a parent can do is to put the phone down and give a child your full attention.  When I am constantly texting, tweeting, posting, checking e-mail etc., my children are not getting my full attention.  One teacher told me of a program that was held at the elementary school.  Most of the children performed in the program.  The teachers stood near the stage during the program and were amazed by how many parents were on their phones instead of watching their children perform.  Simply putting the phone away and paying attention to our children can be a rich gift.

Qualities of Anyone Serious About Moving Toward Wholeness

Becoming more Christlike, is not something for the faint of heart. However, it is for anyone who is serious about wanting to live a full and complete life in Christ. The image below originated from Peter Scazzero, author of Emotionally Healthy Discipleship. I find this image helpful as I think about the transformed life.

As you look at the image above, which characteristic under “Brokenness” would you like to move beyond? Which characteristic under “Wholeness” would you like to grow in?

When You’ve Been Given a Sacred Trust

Recently, I returned to Waco, Texas for the funeral of a very good friend. I wrote a post about this on social media when I returned.

In a way, it felt kind of odd. I was back in the same building, standing behind the same podium where I preached for 20 years. While there have been some upgrades in the building, much of it looks the same. In many ways this was home, the place where we reared their children.

For 20 years, I served a single congregation in that city. I still care deeply about the congregation and the people there. This was not employment as much it was a part of my vocation or service.

At this funeral, I saw men and women with whom I interacted in some way during those years. I remembered many conversations with these people in which I attempted to point the way to Jesus. This is true whether the conversations were about marriage, discouragement, or sickness.

There are ministers (and many others) across the country who can identify with these words. Yet, the last two years have been particularly difficult for many ministers.

There are some who are choosing to leave the congregations they are serving and do something else, either for a season or permanently. No judgement here. These people have served for a time and can serve the Lord in other ways and still receive his pleasure.

However, if we continue to serve congregations, let us do so with honor. Good habits and disciplines can help. Perhaps nothing is as helpful as continuing to serve while you maintain close contact and conversation with healthy friends.

Returning to that church building, with many in that congregation present for this funeral, reminded me of the sacred trust that I shared with that congregation for 20 years.

This sacred trust matters. To honor this trust before these people can positively impact these people for a long, long time. To breach this sacred trust can do incredible damage to these people and their children. Dishonorable behavior by ministers or other church leaders can have negative implications for many years.

No matter what you might do in your vocation, the trust that others place in you matters. Whether you are a minister, a teacher, a business person, or a stay at home mom, it is critical that you and I take seriously the trust that others have placed in us.

This trust is sacred.

* May God bless you with the energy and resilience you need.

* May he hold you in the palm of his hand.

* May the Father sustain you, even when you are tired and weary.

Resources

* “How to Learn Pretty Much Anything” by Mattias Pilhede.

* Just finished John Mark Comer’s new book, Live No Lies. This is a good book that is making me think. (Lots of footnotes!)

* Recently I heard Anthony Ray Hinton speak at the “Birmingham Racial Unity Leadership Summit.” His words were so compelling. See The Son Does Shine: How I Found Life, Freedom, and Justice by Anthony Ray Hinton.

* I love the brief video below (2.44). A wonderful story about leadership by example. I love the simple line, “There are no unimportant jobs.”

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

The List of Five

(Noah Silliman - Unsplash)

This Will Help You Be Ready For The Day

Sometimes, you can be alone with God and come away feeling refreshed. At other times, it may simply be a part of your discipline or spiritual habit. Nevertheless, just being in the presence of God is good.

Notice how Jesus was intentional about this:

Right then, Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go ahead to the other side of the lake while he dismissed the crowds. When he sent them away, he went up onto a mountain by himself to pray. Evening came and he was alone. (Matthew 14:22-23)

This kind of discipline can be very helpful.

* We listen to the one voice that matters most. We pause before listening to other voices including those on social media.

* We thank God for what he is doing in our lives. You and I remember that we regularly experience tremendous abundance. This is far better than only focusing on our scarcity.

* We allow these moments to clarify what is really important today, instead of just trudging through a to-do list. (I have found this to be so important and helpful!)

* We may find that creating the time and discipline to be alone with God can help us become more fully present to God, others, and the world.

I love this quote by David Benner, (Soulful Spirituality, p. 10):

A busy life of striving to be a good Christian can also very easily sabotage genuine presence to oneself, to others, and to God. Being present requires inner stillness, and good Christians can easily have lives that are so full that there is no space for the cultivation of stillness. . . . Being fully present to God requires that we learn to be fully present to others and to ourselves, and this requires stillness, silence, and solitude—dimensions of spiritual practice that are easily overlooked if you are focusing more on the external dimensions of religious practice.

Consider How to Pay Closer Attention

You cannot pay attention to everyone at the same time.  However, you can pay attention to someone, one person at a time.  

Yet, so many of us are distracted by the noise and the voices which clamor for our attention. We can use our technology to further complicate this, as we constantly check our phones. According to one study, the average person touches his/her phone 2,600 times a day. 

We live in a culture where we are always communicating with people and yet have difficulty really connecting with others.  We may be more skilled at using Facebook than we are at looking into the face of another.

You and I may have a powerful ministry today through the disciplined, intentional practice of paying attention to another, one person at a time.   

Practically:

1. The spiritual discipline of solitude can help one to gain clarity that is necessary for paying attention to others.  Solitude can help us realize just how many voices are clamoring for attention.  Solitude can also help us hear the one voice that needs our attention. 

2. Consider a few questions in advance that you might want to ask a person whom you will be with.

3. Listen, attempting to understand not only the content of a conversation but the emotions that seem to be present in what that person says.

Refuse to Die Before Your Death

Michael Kors wrote regarding his life: “The magic of life is (being) experienced but still curious. I’m proud of my age but I still feel like I started last week. You want to be the elder statesman and Peter Pan at the same time” (“Michael Kors On the Best Hamburgers and the Secret to Eternal Youth” in The Wall Street Journal, August 14-15, 2021).

Some people seem to cultivate their curiosity through much of their life. Others get into a rut and passively live out their days on this earth. They seem to almost die before their death!

Other people gain numerous experiences but long ago lost any sense of curiosity. While they have accumulated many experiences, they don’t seem to process or learn from them. They ask few if any questions. Consequently they exist with little wonder or curiosity.

The following are a few practices that have been helpful to me:

* Telling make-believe stories to my children and now, my grandchildren. I tell them stories that I make up about the magic cookie factory at the top of the tree in our backyard. Or, I tell them about the day that Brody, Lincoln, Sully, and Elsie went to visit with the queen. I use my imagination and make these stories up.

* Reading biographies, autobiographies, and memoirs.

* Being outside and looking at the grass, trees, flowers, etc. and paying attention to details. What sounds do I hear? What do I see? What do I smell?

Stay Fresh for the Long Haul

I read this wonderful text, 2 Corinthians 2:14, regarding ministry and wondered, “Paul, how can you use the word triumphal to these people? After all, the church at Corinth had so many problems!

But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ’s triumphal procession and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere.

He describes these believers who were marching as captives, as triumphal.

Ministry today can be very, very difficult.  I have been doing this for over forty years, and I don’t believe it has ever been more difficult and challenging. 

Many of you know the tension of trying to lead an existing, established congregation in this particular setting.  Western culture and congregations as well, have experienced gigantic cultural shifts. Some of the leadership tools that used to work may no longer be effective. Many of us have had to retool.  All of this is exhausting!

If a minister is going to stay fresh for the long haul, this person will need to be very intentional about this. To this day, this is a very important part of my own life and ministry.

Taking steps to remain fresh and alive is important for at least two reasons:

First, far too many ministers crash and burn.  Some have experienced many disappointments and too many discouraging meetings. If you serve for any length of time, some of these are bound to happen. I certainly have memories of a number of heart-breaking moments and exasperating situations. 

It is critical that we be very serious and intentional regarding the kinds of spiritual disciplines that can help guard our hearts and refresh our spirits.

Second, it is possible to eventually become stale, both in our thinking and in our relationships. Some stop reading and thinking. In addition, some of us know what it is to feel lonely.  To feel as if no one in the church knows what we are going through or dealing with.  You may feel, at times, friendless.

Yet, in spite of it all, serving a congregation is such an honorable and noble service to God.  Whether young or old, we are a part of something that matters into eternity.  We are a part of the mission of God that can fill our hearts with purpose and put fire in our bellies!

Interview

I recently watched this excellent interview with John Mark Comer (pastor in Portland, Oregon) and New York Times columnist David Brooks. This is the video of the podcast series that coincides with Comer’s new upcoming book, Live No Lies.

Resources

* I have been reading Carl Trueman’s The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self. This book has really helped me think.

* Read Carson Reed’s article on Mosaic, “Developing Resilience.” Very good! (Siburt Institute)

* Bobby Powers, “This Is (By Far) the Best Way to Remember What You Read in Books” September 16, 2021. This is interesting.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

(Joshua Earle - Unsplash)

The List of Five

Your Best Thinking or Your Worst Fears?

Kathleen Smith has written a very helpful article entitled, “Four Questions to Help You Turn Off Your Anxious Autopilot.” This article is based on four helpful questions one might ask when dealing with anxiety.

* If you’re not paying attention to your anxiety, what will happen?

Some of us, when anxious, cut off those whom we blame for the anxiety. Or, we might focus on the “what if’s” instead of being present to deal with the situation as it is today.

* How would you like to be more responsible for yourself today?

Smith makes several suggestions. One of these is the willingness to have an important conversation, “even if it makes you nervous.” (I cringe when I think of the times I have put off a significant conversation simply because I was anxious and dreaded the conversation.)

* How would you like to be less responsible for others today?

One suggestion is to simply allow others to be anxious. Contrast this with the desire to fix someone or to assume that we must remove their anxiety. She also suggests that one can take less responsibility for others by simply sharing your own thinking instead of trying to convince others that you are right.

* What would be the evidence that you were functioning less anxiously?

Finally, she gives several examples of how a person might function less anxiously. For instance, one can follow “your best thinking, even if it requires some discomfort.” This is far better than reacting to another’s anxiety or allowing your own anxiety to determine your course of action.

Kathleen Smith makes a wonderful comment at the end of the article:

The hard part is embracing (or at least tolerating) the stress of taking yourself off autopilot. Over time, people learn that this discomfort is manageable. Because nothing beats the relief of living life guided by your best thinking instead of your worst fears.

This Week’s Hope

The 20th anniversary of 9/11, coupled with the many other crises, can easily leave most anyone feeling overwhelmed. These times are so difficult to comprehend and can bring about a sense of hopelessness and futility. Yet, Scripture breaks through and reminds us that our hope remains.

A few words from Psalm 31:

We find refuge in the Lord.  “In the Lord, I have taken refuge. . . “ (31:1)  “. . . be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me.”  (31:2). 

We find mercy in the Lord.  “Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief.  My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak.” (31:9-10)

We find strength and hope in the Lord. (31:24)

Mary Churchill, Winston Churchill’s daughter, wrote the following in her diary during WWII as she observed people in London ( Erik Larson, The Splendid and the Vile, pp. 236-237):

I cannot find words to describe my feelings about it. I only know I am moved to a greater and wider realization of the suffering war brings. I only know that I have learnt more about human suffering & anxiety than ever before.

O God, be with the homeless and anxious

I have seen so many worried & sad & lost expressions— & a great deal of courage & optimism & good sense.

You may at times experience sadness and a loss of direction. At other times, you may experience courage and optimism.  Regardless, our hope is in the Lord.

Desiring Help as a Strength

I was in my professor’s office. There were stacks of papers and books throughout the office. I had driven from our home in Florence, Ala. to Memphis (3 hours) to turn in a paper that was due (yes, this is prior to e-mail). I gave the paper to Dr. Slate and walked to the door to leave. I realized that I didn’t have my car keys. We both began looking for my keys throughout his office. At one point, he was on his hands and knees on the floor of his office looking for these keys. Suddenly, I had an unpleasant thought. I had stopped by the restroom before walking into his office. Surely I didn’t leave them there. . . .

I excused myself and raced down the stairs to the restroom. Sure enough, my keys were next to the sink. Embarrassed, I went back to Dr. Phil Slate’s office and sheepishly told him where I had found them. That was decades ago.

Not long ago, I had lunch with this same professor who has long been retired. I hoped he had long ago forgotten this!

Yet, that day, when I lost my keys, I needed his help.

About fifteen years ago, I was at the Dallas-Fort Worth Airport preparing to fly to Memphis. I was on a tram which would take me to the terminal where the plane would depart. As the tram moved along, a lady standing nearby said to me, “I haven’t flown in forty years. I’m eighty years old and richly blessed.”  She said, “I’ll bet you don’t meet many people in their eighties who brag about their age.”

Then, a few minutes later she said, “I hope I’m not intruding, Sir.”  I thought she probably wanted to ask me something about the airport.  She went on to say, “Your shoe is untied.”  She then said, “I didn’t want you to fall.”  I smiled and said to this older woman who was looking out for my welfare, “I need all the help I can get.”

Whether looking for lost keys or being informed of a loose shoestring, I need the help of others. As I think about my life and work, I have been very dependent on the help of others.

* I have sometimes needed the help of someone who believed in me, especially when I started to doubt myself.

* At times, I have been blessed by simply hearing another person speak words of hope instead of cynicism and futility.

* On a number of occasions, I have valued the help of someone whose thinking and perspective helped me become a better person.

* I have been inspired and encouraged to live as a disciple of Jesus by others who were serious about living the transformed life.

Some of us believe that to ask for help is a sign of weakness, or in some sense a reflection of inadequacy. Instead, it is a sign that you are serious about your growth, your development, and your commitment to maturing.

Maybe, it is time to ask.

Where Important Things Happen

Can Important Things Happen in Unimportant Places?  (I first heard this question from my friend Harold Shank.)

When I look in the mirror, I see ordinary.  I have spent many years serving in congregations that I perceived to be ordinary.  Almost eight years in Florence, Ala.  Three years in Kansas City, Missouri.  Twenty years in Waco, Texas.  I served as a minister in these ordinary congregations in ordinary communities.  These were good years and good congregations. However, on occasion I would hear about seemingly important congregations in important places and would tell myself, “It must be nice to be doing important things in important congregations.” 

Important was elsewhere.  Important was someone else.

Can important things happen in unimportant places?  Yes! Important things can happen in villages, towns, and cities. However, important is not based on location. Important can simply mean that your work (at home or the office) honors God and is an expression of your love for God and others.

It could be that your life and work (and mine) is far more important than we might think.

Resources

* Cary Nieuwhof’s recent podcast conversation with John Mark Comer was excellent! See: “Why We Believe Lies About Freedom, Sex, Truth, and Culture . . .” Much of this was centered on Comer’s new book, Live No Lies. (Thank you Brett C.)

* I recently read a nice piece, “Learn to Stop Making Sense” by Christian Bergman, September 9, 2021. (The Centre for Faith and Life)

* See this interesting article by Gabriel Robare, “On Handwriting: The Value of Slow Words and Slow Thoughts” in the Princetonian, September 7, 2021.

* An excellent article in the Wall Street Journal, “A Day of Grief and Human Glory” by Peggy Noonan, September 9, 2021. This article is her reflection on the 20th anniversary of 9/11.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

The List of Five

Worry, Anxiety, and a Very Helpful Tool

What do you do with your worry? Unfortunately, at times I have given worry a front row seat in my mind. Then, at 3:00 AM, I awaken and rehearse the “What ifs?” which only adds fuel to the worry. (I am all too familiar with this!) For others, worry and anxiety may spill over into relationships. As a result, words may be sharp and curt. We may blame others for our problems or project our anger onto them.

I heard Steve Cuss refer to a tool that he found helpful and recommended to his listeners. He suggested processing a situation with these three questions:

* What is yours to carry?

* What is theirs to carry?

* What is God’s to carry?

Perhaps you are worried or anxious about a family member, a work project, or a church situation.

What is yours to carry? What is your role, your job, or your responsibility in this situation? Your task may be to manage your own emotions and behavior instead of reacting. Or, your task may be to speak in a calm voice even though the people around you are highly anxious.

What is theirs to carry? A particular decision may belong to others. You are not responsible for someone else’s feelings or functioning. You are responsible for how you behave and how you function. This is a reminder that at times we may worry about things for which we have absolutely no control.

What is God’s to carry? What is completely in God’s hands? I have found passages such as Philippians 4:4-9 both helpful and encouraging.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

God is near. He is present! As a Christ-follower, I can present my requests to God, believing that his presence matters.

The following might be helpful as you and I grapple with difficulties:

* Pray for clarity regarding the situation, the conflict or the mess. Take charge of your own behavior and your own functioning in this situation.

* Take a blank piece of paper (or blank document on a screen) and write down the three questions from Steve Cuss (above). This tool can help in processing the problem as you get clear about what you are and are not responsible for.

This tool has really helped me, particularly when I have felt completely overwhelmed by a particular problem. Perhaps you will find this helpful.

The Church of the Second Chance

In her novel, Saint Maybe, Anne Tyler writes about seventeen year old Ian Bedloe who felt tremendous guilt after the suicide of his older brother. He and his brother Danny had an argument and later that same night his brother was killed in a car crash. Ian believed that he was responsible for the death of his older brother and the eventual suicide of Danny’s grief stricken widow.

Ian was walking down a street in his community one day and saw this compelling sign in front of a church building: “The Church of the Second Chance.” Much of the book centers on Ian’s life after he became a part of this church.  

There is something about this sign that is so appealing to me. Perhaps it simply reminds me of my own need for God’s grace.

Years ago, while living in North Alabama, I attended a Alcoholics Anonymous meeting with a friend who was a member of this group. Part of the evening included a special celebration of this friend’s sobriety for one year. I recall this evening in particular because it was the first time I had actually heard someone introduce themselves this way: “Hi, my name is Mark and I am an alcoholic.”

As I think about the “Church of the Second Chance,” it reminds me of my own need to self-identify as one who badly need the Lord and his grace. I seriously need the daily encouragement that can only be found in the Lord.

Today, I want to acknowledge to God that I am undone, sinful, full of pride, and in desperate need for him. “God have mercy on me, a sinner” (Luke 18:13).

Hear the words of Michael Quoist:

Deliver me from my mind; it is full of itself, of its ideas, its opinions; it cannot carry on a dialogue, as no words reach it but its own. (Prayers, p. 113)

This humility before God might even carry over to how I relate to my spouse, my parents or children, and to co-workers. It could be that this humility might set a refreshing tone for how I relate to another.

Take Away:

* It is tempting to keep a long list of slights, offenses, and hurts that others have inflicted. They can occupy way too much space in your mind, which will rob you of joy and energy.

* I am at my best when I remember that all that I have and all that I am is a gift of God’s grace. Remembering this has a way of humbling me.

You Were Meant to Grow

Over time, we can take on habits that are not good or helpful and may even be destructive.  For example, some people become complacent.  Because of past efforts, they may think they have “put in their time.”  They become lazy and self-absorbed. 

Yet, Christian people are not called to complacency because no matter what we do in our vocation, we serve the Lord. You may be a coach, a teacher, an executive, or a minister. You serve the Lord. Even a “retired” person is to serve the Lord. You are in Jesus’ service or ministry.

Henri Nowen reminds us in The Living Reminder that “Ministry is service in the name of the Lord” (p. 12).

Dr. Bill Kirk, was a Christian psychologist who lived for many years in Dallas.  He and his wife Virginia moved to Waco, Tx. while I was a minister there.  Bill was about 76 years old.  One day I was in my office at the church building. The receptionist called and said, “Dr. Kirk is here and would like to talk with you.”  Bill came into my office, sat down, and said, “I don’t want to take up a lot of time but I really enjoyed that sermon yesterday and was wondering where I could do more reading along the same line.”  I gave him the title of a book and he said he would order the book. 

As he left, I wondered, “How can I continue to learn and grow like him? How can I be fully alive like Bill when I am 76 years old?  Will I still smile like he does?  Will I continue to read and learn like he does?”

A few years later, I wrote the following to help give direction to my own desire to continue growing.

Step Forward – Start now, take a step forward.  Some people procrastinate, putting off what they know they need to address. They may be waiting on more information, more knowledge, or more expertise. Yet, it is important to simply start.  We begin to stretch by starting.

Step Away – Take time to think, read and reflect.  When there is no self-reflection, there may be little self-awareness. As a result, a person may ignore his/her past which may actually be influencing the present.  Perhaps I need to consider my own functioning and attempt to evaluate how much of this is a carry over or a reaction to my past.

Step Up --Take responsibility for your own behavior.  Stepping up might be just be owning our behavior.  “You know, I was on edge in that meeting last week.  I know I spoke abruptly, acting as if my point of view was all that mattered.  I’m sorry.”  Stepping up is to acknowledge that our recent behavior may not have been right. We take responsibility for what we do.  Mature leaders refuse to blame others.  While some may point the finger at other people, the mature leader is looking at how she/he might have contributed to this.  

Step Back - Take a step back to keep your perspective.  Maybe you’ve had a difficult conversation with a co-worker that didn’t seem to go well. Then you learn that she had a heartbreaking conversation last night with her teenage son. The intensity of last night’s conversation seems to be spilling over into this conversation at work. Consider your own life! Take a step back to see if what might be taking place in your emotions is impacting how you are handling other situations right now.

Start the Week with a Commitment to Manage Yourself

I was in Denver, boarding a plane about to leave. Passengers were getting settled in their seats. At one point, a man across the aisle from me, announced to us all in a loud voice that he was not happy.  “I’m not comfortable!  I’m just not comfortable!”  He had brought a very large bag onto the plane and put it under the seat in front of him.  Consequently he had no room for his feet.

Even though there were several hundred total strangers on board this aircraft, he felt compelled to let us all know that he was not comfortable!  Perhaps you know people like this.  They want everyone around them to know how they feel at most any moment. These people can impact the mood and functioning of the entire group. One person in a family, a business, or a church can manage to garner much of the attention of the group. When this person is present, there seems to be drama.

Healthy people seem to have some awareness about their impact on others. The following questions may be helpful as you think about your family, your work, or your presence with friends:

* How do I actually function as a member of a group?

* How do others experience my presence?  

* Would others describe me as being a team player or would they say that I tend to function as a lone ranger? 

* How do I behave when there is a conflict within the group? 

* Am I quick tempered or do I tend to avoid dealing with conflict. 

* Do I become anxious about the approval of others?

* How do I actually function as a leader?  Do I tend to lead with anxiety or would others describe me as a less anxious presence? What am I like as a marriage partner? What am I like to work with?

Healthy leaders learn to manage their emotions and their behavior. Unhealthy leaders burn relational bridges, turn conversations into challenges, and heap frustration and anger on one another.

Managing yourself is not about working more hours or trying harder, but taking responsibility for one’s own behavior.  For example, a person who is managing himself well does not engage in blaming and projecting onto others blame and fault.  Nor does this person shrug his shoulders in resignation concluding that this is the fault of another.

Meanwhile, you may know others who, when present in a conversation, seem to add energy and life to the room.  They engage with others in a manner that builds and encourages.  They often bring a calmness into the room through their less anxious presence.  

For just under eight years, I preached in Florence, Alabama.  One Sunday evening, my in-laws were present.  I was preaching a sermon and was agitated as I preached it. Earlier I had read a book that disturbed me.

After church, my father-in-law, who had preached for many years, approached me. He said, “I agree with most of what you said in your sermon.  But let me talk to you about something.  Jim, when you preach and you are obviously upset and anxious, we all become upset and anxious.  We take our cues from you.”  There is a way to address difficult subjects in a manner that communicates that even though the subject is important, I am calm and God is still in control.  

Likewise, children take their emotional cues from their parents. In the congregation, how I manage myself as a minister, an elder, or any other kind of influencer matters.  People in the congregation will take their cues from their leaders.   

Whether you are a business person, a minister, a teacher or are in any other kind of leader, how you manage yourself matters.

Takeaway

Consider the relationships that most concern you at the moment. Perhaps it is your marriage, your relationship with one of your children, or your relationship with an someone in your church. How might you best manage yourself, your behavior and actions?

Resources

* Just listened to Carey Nieuwhof’s excellent podcast interview with Jennifer Kolari. This was very helpful! In the interview, she explains her CALM technique for dealing with conflict. The transcript is here.

The CALM method is a way of deep listening using language, compassion and empathy literally as medicine. It will soothe and calm AND bring both participants in the conversation into brain-heart coherence.

Here’s a brief outline of the framework:C – CONNECTA – AFFECTL – LISTENM – MIRROR

* Recently read “Why Do We Shout When We Argue? Lack of Confidence” by Vanessa Bohns in The Wall Street Journal, Saturday/Sunday, August 21-22, 2021. I was intrigued by this particular line - “Research shows that we are overconfident in our beliefs but under-confident about being heard. So we compensate by being loud.”

* See Elizabeth Oldfield’s interview (The Sacred podcast) with Conservative MP for Penistone and Stocksbridge Miriam Cates. 18/08/2021 I found this to be so interesting.

* See David Fisher’s, The 21st Century Pastor. Rich images of ministry. (Thank you Matt Snowden)

* (Image above is from: Unsplash - Mukul Wadhwa)

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

(Leonel Heisenberg - Unsplash - Charleston, S.C)

The List of Five

How Do I Receive Another’s Question?

I have listened to at least five different podcast interviews in the last few months featuring Chris Bosh, a former NBA star (13 years) and a two-time NBA champion. The interviews were about his NBA career and his new book, Letters to a Young Athlete.

The people interviewing Bosh could have been very intimidated. After all, Bosh had quite a career. Recently his #1 jersey was retired by the Miami Heat. He has been selected for the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame Class of 2021.

I have been impressed with Bosh’s graciousness on these podcasts as his interviewers often know very little about basketball (such as the podcast with author Tim Ferriss). Tim Ferriss candidly admitted that he knew very little.

Tim Ferriss: All right, the four. This is where I’m really going to embarrass myself. Here we go, so I’m going to make a confession. I was reading through the research. I was reading about your bio. I was watching videos. And I thought to myself, this might as well be in Greek. I can’t even begin to imagine what these terms mean, half of them. So I went to the people are going to love this. So I went to Wikipedia and I looked up basketball. I was like, let’s just start there. And just to be clear, I do watch basketball. I appreciate — I mean, I clearly don’t follow it very well. But I can appreciate the athleticism, I understand what a three-point shot is. I understand what a jump shot is, layup, slam dunk, et cetera. Some of these terms I actually do know.

But I realized that I did not know the positions whatsoever. And so I just want to read something and then we can dive in. This is from the Wikipedia entry on basketball, folks. Yes, feel free to laugh.

All right. First of all, I do know this, five players on each side, it turns out. All right, so the five players on each side fall into five playing positions. The tallest player is usually the center. The second tallest and strongest, the power forward. A slightly shorter but more agile player is the small forward. And the shortest players or the best ball handlers are the shooting guard and the point guard, who implement the coach’s game plan by managing the execution of offense and defensive plays (player positioning).

Informally, players may play three on three, two on two, one on one. Then I’ll just add this because I was like, “What? Really?” Invented in 1891 by a Canadian-American gym teacher, James Naismith — 

Chris Bosh: Naismith, yeah.

I am impressed by the way Bosh answers. He doesn’t answer with a sense of self importance or the presumption that he is doing his interviewer a favor by appearing on the podcast. Instead, he cheerfully answers the questions, patiently explaining some aspect of basketball that he knows the host is not familiar with.

Bosh seems to put the interviewer at ease. He creates a safe environment, which is one of the best environments for learning.

Have you ever wanted to ask a question but you hesitated because it seemed elementary? Or, perhaps you did not ask the question because you assumed that everyone else knew the answer. (Maybe I am the only one who has done this.)

Perhaps you have hesitated to ask a question because you have heard someone respond to someone else’s question with, “You don’t know what that is?”

Sometimes it can difficult to ask questions about the basics. In fact, it can be difficult to be a beginner.

Two takeaways:

* I want to put others at ease when I communicate and when I receive their questions.

* I want to create a safe environment where others can ask questions that may seem elementary and yet not fear that their question might be judged as silly.

Years ago, I taught a Wednesday evening Bible class at our church. Afterward, a woman approached me to ask a question. Bible classes were new to her. She had not grown up going to church. She said, “I have some questions about the Bible. For example, how come no one in the Bible has a last name? They talk about John, James, or Mary but never mention their last names.” We talked about this for a few minutes. I thought about how much courage it must have taken for her to ask such a question at a church where so many seemed to know much about the Bible.

In that conversation, my response (including my facial response and tone) was critical if she (or anyone else) would continue to ask such questions, even those that might seem elementary.

What Do I Do With These Children?

The following are ten thoughts about rearing children. Perhaps some of these will be helpful. Please keep in mind that I am still learning.

* Be gentle with yourself as a parent. Rearing a child is the hardest work I have ever done.

* Know that being a parent means that you will probably experience great joy. However, this also means you will probably experience some pain - sooner or later.

* Children (regardless of age) need your attention. Yet, some children may feel as if they must compete for attention with their parents’ phone, social media, etc. Undivided attention given to our children is an important gift.

* Parents who focus on getting their children to like them are traveling down a dead-end street. Focus on loving them and giving them what they need.

* Pray for them - regardless of their age. If mom, dad, grandparents are not praying for them, who is?

* Know that children can be wounded - deeply wounded by words that are mean, cruel, demeaning, etc. This doesn’t go away by saying immediately afterward “I was just joking.”

* Your love for your wife/husband deeply blesses your children.

* Encourage your children. Look for what they are doing that is right and good. This doesn’t mean you don’t correct them or deal with misbehavior. However, you can always give hope.

* Your children may think for awhile that you know most everything. After awhile, they may think you know very, very little. Know that neither one resembles reality. Yes, you have learned many things. However, it is also true that you (hopefully) continue to learn.

* Focus on giving them what they absolutely need from you. Be careful about wasting your words and life on things that don’t really matter.

What Helped Keep Me Alive

I served a church in Kansas City, Missouri for just under three years in the early 1990s. We loved living in this beautiful city! Saturdays were often spent exploring a different part of the city or a nearby town. At the same time, this was a very difficult period of time for me as a minister. Unfortunately, the challenges of my ministry often left me discouraged and flat.

Looking back, I am so grateful for ways in which I grew and developed while serving this congregation in Kansas City. While staying alive emotionally and spiritually were real challenges, there were certain things I did which helped sustain me.

* Regular breakfasts with a new friend, a police captain with the Kansas City Police Department. (He was not a part of our congregation.) I learned so much about the city from these conversations.

* Regular lunches with my friend and fellow minister Chris Bullard. Chris introduced me to so many authors and books in the area of spiritual disciplines. Even now, I look on my bookshelf and see books that I purchased from Steel’s Used Books after a lunch with Chris.

* Time spent with a Christian therapist which helped me learn to function much better than I had been previously. This was incredibly helpful!

* Auditing numerous classes at Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. From these classes, rich relationships with several professors were formed.

* Regularly spending time in different environments in order to learn.

* Drinking coffee with a local rabbi who was very generous with his time. This was a time to ask questions and listen.

* Doing my work in coffee shops in various parts of the city. This was an opportunity to listen and pay attention to new environments.

* Spending my lunch hour, one day a week for ten weeks, at the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art listening to community lectures on the history of western art. The presenter was engaging, resourceful and told stories that made this history come alive.

Many years later, I still need to be intentional about my growth and learning, regardless of my age and experience. Paying attention to my growth has helped me navigate the various chapters of my life. j

The Kindness of Strangers

I was particularly drawn to the video above as a child speaks about the meaning of kindness from a “stranger.”

I include this video because we live in such a hostile climate. Shootings, fights, and endless quarreling are almost everyday occurrences. So much of this is captured live on video for all to see. Meanwhile, conversations between those of opposing political parties can hardly take place without questioning motives.

I watched this video several times. There is something so refreshing about kindness. In this story, it is the simple kindness of a stranger.

Perhaps through you and me, this could multiply.

Resources

* Just read Andy Couch’s “After the K-Shaped Recovery” (May 17, 2021). Thoughtful in a difficult time.

* I recently read “The Secret to Building Resilience” from the Harvard Business Review. The authors are Rob Cross, Karen Dillon, and Danna Greenberg. (January 29, 2021). This is a very helpful article as the authors discuss how to bounce back from setbacks.

* Just started reading Peter Scazzero’s Emotionally Healthy Discipleship. I have read most of Scazzero’s books. They have blessed me!

* If you are a parent needing a word of encouragement, see Raising Kids In A Time Such As This. This is a powerful article about the opportunities facing us as we raise children today. (Thanks to Charlotte for pointing me to this.)

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

The List of Five

(Charleston, SC by Andrew Kelly - Unsplash)

Your Refreshment May Be One Decision Away

Charlotte and I just returned from vacation. Most of the time, we were in Charleston, South Carolina but we also spent a day in Savannah, Georgia. After a very intense year in which travel was severely limited (due to COVID-19), this was a refreshing break. We spent almost a week looking at the sights, enjoying food and coffee, and the sounds, smells, and sights all around us.

What do you do for your health, renewal, and sanity?

* Some may need to take time off. You don’t have to spend a lot of money or travel far away. Do what works for you, given the finances and time available. Regardless of where you go or what you might do, this time off can be very helpful for your own refreshment. (Of course, some leaders may have particular reasons which make it difficult to take time off. See Carey Nieuwhof, “5 Signs You are a Leader Who Needs to be Needed (Why You Never Get a Break)”)

* Some may need to spend time with friends, family members, and others who enrich, encourage, and energize. Consider the people who add these rich qualities to your life?

* Some may need to seek out particular resource people. A spiritual director, a counselor, a coach, or a mentor can be incredibly helpful. Who are a few resource people whom you might find helpful?

* Some may need to be more intentional about reading books that are life giving and listening to podcasts that encourage. What authors or podcasts are sources of life and hope for you?

For several months, I have been working with an “idea” notebook. Each day, I write brief entries of various thoughts and ideas. The entries are relatively brief. The idea might be something I heard on the news. The thought might have occurred after a conversation at lunch. Perhaps one of the entires is an intriguing title of a new book. Every few days, I review several pages in this notebook. Most of the time, these entries help prime my thinking.

Whatever you need to do for your own refreshment, it is important take the next step. Take action! Do this for yourself. Do this to bless others. Do this for the glory of God.

Invest in a Foundation that Will Make a Practical Difference

The commencement address was compelling. Jimmy Dunne, a Notre Dame alumnus, who serves on the Board of Directors for the university, spoke at the Notre Dame Commencement in May 2021.  Dunne is a co-founder of Sandler O’Neill, which became the largest independent full-service investment banking firm in NYC.

The firm’s offices were located in the World Trade Center South Tower, on the 104th floor. On September 11, 2001, 83 people went to work. At 9:03 AM (EST), the first plane struck.  66 of those 83 employees never went home.  The employees who died that day had 76 children.   

Dunne was committed to doing what was right for the families who lost a father or mother on that horrific day. His decisive action provided care for the families of deceased employees by continuing to pay, for a time, their salaries, health care, and yearly bonuses. He created a college scholarship fund for children who lost a parent. Many children received full tuition from the Sandler O’Neill Assistance Foundation enabling them to attend colleges and universities across the country, including Notre Dame.

When asked why he and others at the firm made the commitment to these employees’ families, Dunne said:

We believed that what we did would echo for a hundred years in the families of our people, their kids and their grandkids. We knew how we conducted ourselves in those first few hours and days would define who we really were and what we stood for. If we were not honorable, then we stood for nothing.

Dunne’s parents were people of faith.  They instilled in him the importance of doing what is right.  Dunne’s memories included seeing his father on his knees in prayer.

In this commencement address, Dunne describes what he was thinking shortly after 9/11: 

Normally I would have gone straight to my two partners I knew best, but we had lost them, too.  The question was, How do we recover? . . . and more than that, What can we do for those families left behind? 

At such moments, there isn’t time to reflect and figure out what you believe. All you have is your foundation, and you’re about to find out if it’s a good one. If you can get through, it’s going to be on the strength of what you have already. How we conducted ourselves would define who we were and what we stood for. If we were not honorable, then we stood for nothing.

Like the foundation of a house, your own foundation makes an incredible difference. Don’t let go of your foundation! In Psalm 73, the writer says that at one point, he almost gave up. It was in the sanctuary that he gained his perspective. He remembered his foundation. God had given him gifts, such as security (73:23), direction (73:24), destiny (73:24b), and strength (73:26). These gifts are ours as well.  These four gifts can keep you encouraged.

Five Useful Questions

Seth Godin has written a very fine piece entitled “Five Useful Questions.” The following are the five questions and his comments. My comments are in brackets.

What’s the hard part? Which part of your work, if it suddenly got much better, would have the biggest impact on the outcome you seek? (A few months ago, I entered blocks of time on my calendar to address the hard parts of my work. This practice has been very helpful, not only with productivity, but in addressing issues of avoidance.)

How are you spending your time? If we took a look at your calendar, how much time is spent reacting or responding to incoming (requests, etc), how much is under your control, and how much is focused on the hard part? (I spend far too much time reacting to various situations that pop up throughout the day such as unexpected e-mails.)

What do you need to know? What are the skills that you don’t have that would make your work more effective? (I would like to have more skill in communicating the mission of our organization in terms that are clearer to the average person.)

What is the scary part? Which outcomes or interactions are you trying to avoid thinking about or interacting with? Why? (The outcome I avoid thinking about is the possibility of running out of time, especially due to my own procrastination.)

Is it worth it? After looking at your four answers to these questions, you might have a better idea of what it will take for your project to reach its potential. Does the outcome of the project–for those you serve and for you–justify what it will take to get it there? (Yes, even reflecting on these four questions give me clarity as to the importance of my life in Christ, as well as my ministry.)

Letters to My Younger Self (as a young minister)

Recently, I thought about what I would like to say to a younger version of myself, if I could share what I have learned. What would I say to my 25 year old self, a young minister in the late 1970s? At the time we were living in a small town in middle Tennessee. I was the minister for a small church that met in what was at one time a convenience store. Charlotte was teaching school in another nearby town. As a young rookie minister, I was trying to figure out what I needed to do in my ministry. Now, decades later, this in part is what I would like to say to my younger self:

Dear Jim,

You graduated from the university (a business degree) and then the small Bible college you attended. (You have not gone to seminary yet.) Now you are serving your first congregation. You are experiencing a lot of change. You and Charlotte live in the small town of Pulaski, Tn. This is long way from Dallas, Texas where you grew up. This is a very different culture than what you are familiar with. You are newly married and both of you are learning to make adjustments.

This congregation has given you the opportunity to experience various aspects of ministry. Some of this has been very hard. All of it has been interesting:

* You have had hard conversations with some members of the congregation about race. In a very difficult church meeting, you spoke up due to some ugly, sinful racist attitudes that were present. You spoke up even though you were terrified internally.

* You experienced the power of an older brother’s kindness and his understanding of how to connect with people. He took you throughout the community introducing you to so many, many people. You learned much from him.

* You preached your first funeral, a 26 year old woman who died of cancer. She was baptized only weeks before her death.

* You began to realize how little you really knew about the Bible and ministry in particular.

As you continue to serve the congregation, I want to encourage you not to be discouraged. God is with you and will give you the resources you need. Use your sense of inadequacy as an opportunity to learn greater dependance on God. In the meantime, as a young minister, be humble and continue to learn. Cherish your young marriage. Make space in your life for joy.

Be patient with these people in the congregation. There is joy and there is pain in serving these people. Yet, years later, you will realize the extraordinary patience they had with you.

Finally, write it down. Write down your thoughts, insights, ideas, etc. Keep a journal. One day you will be glad to have a record of the names, places, and details about your life and ministry.

Remember that God is good and will never leave you or forsake you.

An Older Jim

Resources

* See this excellent report (pdf) on Resilience from The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology.

* Don’t miss Seth Godin’s excellent blog post “Five Useful Questions” from June 14, 2021. (Referred to in #3 above)

* While in Savannah, Charlotte and I saw Flannery O’Conner’s (March 25, 1925 – August 3, 1964) childhood home. Unfortunately, it was closed so we could not tour it. We did get to tour The Cathedral of St. John the Baptist while in Savannah. This church was where O’Conner attended as a child, just steps away from her home. Today, as I thought about O’Conner, I read “A Good Man is Hard to Find,” one of her short stories.

* I’m not sure why this interests me, but it does. See “10 Famous Writers and Their Desk Setups” by Aigner Loren Wilson (July 15, 2021).

* Recently read Winn Collier’s biography of Eugene Peterson, A Burning in My Bones. Also read Jason Riley’s biography of Thomas Sowell, Maverick. One a minister and the other an economist. Both biographies are well written.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

I allowed fear to cause me to hesitate. Unfortunately, I often did this. I let fear win.

Consider the following list of five. Hopefully, one of these will be helpful as we attempt to live on the other side of fear.

The List of Five

The Best Time to Deal With Your Fear

We all have some fear. I certainly do. Do you ever let fear keep you from trying something new? Maybe you are afraid that what you do will only be average at best. Maybe you are afraid that what is in front of you is just too hard.

* Maybe you would like to learn something new.

* Perhaps you have considered writing a book.

* Maybe you would like to learn a new sport, a new language, or take an art class

* You might have thought about asking an acquaintance to lunch but for some reason you hesitate.

* Maybe you have considered enhancing your computer skills.

If you are like some of us, as soon as you consider some of these, you allow fear to enter in.

* What if I can’t do this thing?

* What if I don’t do this very well?

* What if I am too old?

* What if I am too young?

* What if I’m not smart enough?

* What if I attempt this and end up looking silly?

* What if it is too late?

Jon Acuff suggests that the best time to begin doing something which calls for one to be brave is right now. (See Jon Acuff’s book, Soundtracks)

Fear will tell you that it is too late, too hard, or too involved.

So today, if you were brave, what would you do? Could you take one step toward what you really want to do?

The best day to start something new is always today because it is the only day you’ve got. (Jon Acuff)

Five Principles That Are Worth Our Attention

Recently, I was listening to a podcast in which the person being interviewed said that he kept a card in his pocket with five principles that are important to him.

Have you considered some of the principles that are important to you?

Know that while you have learned much in the past, it is imperative that you continue to learn into the future. Yes, you and I have learned something. There is no reason to deny this. However, no matter how old we get it is important we continue to learn. Consequently, we need to be humble as we think and talk about God, Scripture, and life.

The following are a few principles that are important to me. I don’t have these on a card in my pocket. Nevertheless, I do consider these to be important:

* Ask others very good questions and then listen deeply to their response.

* Pay attention when you are in another’s presence.

* Take a small step to move forward. Yes, it may be small but is still a step forward.

* Love the God of the Scriptures. Pray that God will help you to be fully alive to his will and his ways.

* Surround yourself with people who inspire, encourage, and who in some way make you want to be a better man/woman.

Do More of This and Less of That

I regularly listen to Laura Vanderkam’s podcast, “Before Breakfast.” Recently she talked about “Less or More” (May 25, 2021). She asked, “What would you like less of, or more of, and what can you do to make these adjustments? How would you edit your life so that you could have less of some things and more of other things?”

She suggests making two different lists. One list is what you would like less of and the other list is what you would like more of. For example, I might say that I want to spend less time doing the following:

* Watching television.

* Looking at social media.

* Focusing on relatively unimportant tasks at work.

* Checking my texts/e-mails during the workday.

Could I take a small step that in some way might reduce the time I spend with one or more of these?

Suppose I want to spend more time on the following:

* Reading my Bible in the early morning hours and thinking about my day.

* Talking to friends on the phone and practicing what Greg McKeown calls “deep listening.” (See resources below).

* Connecting with family members.

* Being flexible about certain things instead of rigidly thinking that everything has to be a certain way.

If I am going to look at less social media, how will I do this? I find it helpful to set a timer (15-20 minutes) knowing that I will move on to something else at the ringing of that timer. On the other hand, if I want to spend more time talking with friends on the phone, I might start by calling a longtime friend on my way home from work (about a 25 minute trip). I do this about twice a week usually limiting the conversation to 20-25 minutes. Having such a plan has enabled me talk to friends more often because I now have a system.

So how about you? What would you like to do less? What would you like to do more?

The Moment

He was a drummer in a North Alabama band. Many of his weekends were spent in bars at the Alabama-Tennessee state line. One late Saturday night, he was driving home on a highway just outside of Florence, Alabama. He had a car accident and was killed. He might have been eighteen years old.

On Sunday his parents called, requesting that I officiate at the funeral. I was about 27 years old. The funeral took place in a small frame church building in Lauderdale County, Alabama.

I remember some of the people as they entered the church building. So many appeared to be in their late teens or early twenties. Some appeared to be intoxicated or under the influence of a drug. Others seemed to have a hollow, empty look in their eyes.

I didn’t know what to say. I looked at the crowd. I looked at this boy’s parents. As I thought about the moment, it reminded me that what I was doing in that funeral was important — really important. God was at work and in that moment, he was at work through me.

A few years ago, I was at lunch with a man who at one time was a well known and much admired minister. In the 1960s and early 1970s, he often spoke before large crowds throughout the United States. Since then, he had long left congregational ministry and for decades had been working in another profession. I asked him that day at lunch, “After serving congregations for many years, is there anything about congregational ministry that you miss?” He said, “I miss the opportunity to serve so many people during times of crisis - sicknesses, funerals, etc.” What he missed were moments of pastoral ministry with individuals and families.

This reminds me to be grateful. I want to thank God for the privilege of serving him in whatever moment and whatever capacity He might make available. God is at work and we will never fully know how much good has been done through the way we served.

Resources

* So where do we begin in becoming a less anxious presence? “We start by learning to see the anxiety in ourselves and in the systems around us” (p. 79). See The Leader’s Journey, Jim Herrington, Trisha Taylor, and R. Robert Creech, Baker Academic, 2020-Second Edition.

* I just finished “Singing stories together: Relationship and storytelling as resources or resilience in the book of Psalms” by Rebecca Poe Hays from Biblical and Theological Visions of Resilience (White and Cook, Routledge, 2021.) Very good.

* See the excellent podcast interview - Cary Nieuwhof interviews Greg McKeown (June, 2021). Love the discussion about deep listening in which one listens for clarity.

* If you enjoy this newsletter, won’t you consider sharing it with a friend who might enjoy this? Almost every month, there are new subscriptions. So many of these are friends of readers. Thanks!

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

I don’t want my complaining to blind me from an opportunity that might be right in front of me.

The List of Five

What is Our Opportunity?

We were on our way back to the Pepperdine University campus. I had just eaten lunch with Lynn Anderson, a longtime minister, friend, and mentor. He asked about my family and specifically about our marriage. I expressed frustration with my own behavior. In many ways, I was too passive regarding some very practical areas of marriage and doing my share of the work around our house. I expressed that I was aware of passivity being an issue in several men in our extended family.

I was driving the rental car and we were just about to turn onto the campus. He looked at me intently and said, “Do you know that by choosing to be a different kind of man, you have an opportunity to impact several generations in your family?”

That conversation took place decades ago. However, I have not forgotten these words. After all, he was telling me that this could be a day of opportunity.

What about you? Could it be that by taking just the right step - even a seemingly small step - you could move forward in the right direction? Could it be that this is the day of opportunity?

“So then, let’s work for the good of all whenever we have an opportunity, and especially for those in the household of faith.” - Galatians 6:10 (CEB)

A Day Wasted or A Day Invested?

Maybe, this week, you have already done or said something that was very meaningful to someone else. Could it be that you are not yet aware of this?

James Boswell (1740-1795) is best known as the author of what some consider the greatest biography written in English:  The Life of Samuel Johnson. 

He was the eldest child of Alexander and Euphemia Boswell.  As a young boy he began to exhibit signs of depression similar to what had affected generations of his family.  He also developed some troubling physical symptoms, such as night fears and extreme timidity.  

Boswell often referred to a very special day in his childhood when his father took him fishing.  The day was fixed in his mind and he often reflected on the things that his father had taught him on this day.  After hearing Boswell refer to this day on a number of occasions, someone decided to check the journals that Boswell’s father had been keeping to see what had been said about that trip from the perspective of a parent.  Turning to that date in this journal, the reader found that only one sentence had been entered.  “Gone fishing today with my son: a day wasted.”

A day wasted?

It was only wasted in the mind of the father. However, in the mind of his son, it was such a special day!

Perhaps you and I might look at any given day and conclude that not much happened that day. Yet, in the mind of someone we encouraged, spent time with, or spoke to, it may have been a very significant day.

Consider what might be done on an ordinary day:

* You might intentionally call someone by name who may be surprised that you even know her name.

* You might send a text acknowledging a birthday, someone’s surgery scheduled for that day, or an anticipated meeting.

* You might speak with someone who typically considers himself to be an unimportant person or even a “nobody.”

(The story regarding James Boswell originated from Gordon MacDonald.)

Ten Desires for 2021

Recently, I wrote down ten statements that I am reading each day. Some of these reflect challenges. Others simply affirm what is important to me right now.

* For me to say “no” is not to reject someone. Saying “no” is not mean, thoughtless, or bad. In fact, it may reflect that I am putting more care and energy into what I have already said “yes” to.

* I want to be clear about what my foundation really is. What is my interior world built on? What do I want to pass on to my children and grandchildren?

* My gratitude to God and my thankfulness to others are very important. After all, I am not entitled to anything. Expressing a “thank you” and a word of gratitude to God are important when I pray. I also want to express my thankfulness to others more regularly.

* I want to saturate myself in Scripture. As I read and ponder God’s word, may my adoration of Him only increase!

* I do not want to hide behind my perceived limitations. Far too often, I have allowed these preconceived limitations to cause hesitation instead of moving forward toward a new opportunity.

* The attitude I choose is important. My attitude impacts the way I feel, my outlook, and the emotional atmosphere between myself and others.

* I do not want to become overly focused on my physical age. Life has its seasons. I had some opportunities when was I was younger that I might not have again. However, I would rather focus on the opportunities I now have. I want to focus on how I can grow, learn, and mature all of my life.

* Even taking a small step forward is progress. What is a small step I need to take?

* May I dare step up to what is hard and challenging if this is in line with my purpose and God’s work.

* I want to choose life and hope instead of complaining.

Are You Responsible for Others, or Responsible to Others?

The following quote by Kathleen Smith is particularly useful for ministers, church leaders, and their spouses:

Feeling and acting responsible for others often reflects our struggle to tolerate another person’s distress. When we sense anxiety in others, a quick way to calm ourselves down is to calm others. To manage emotions, thoughts, and behaviors that do not belong to us.

How do you get caught up in feeling and acting responsible for others? When you pick the restaurant, do you need everyone to enjoy their food? Do you avoid bringing up an important topic in your marriage, because it makes your spouse anxious? Do you reassure your child, “It’s going to be okay,” before you hear their thinking about a challenge?

When our actions are more about alleviating anxiety than relating to one another, we don’t give people the space to express their thinking or show us their capabilities.  It’s also easy to get locked into relationship patterns that can drain the fun out of a friendship, snuff out the creativity in a work partnership, or eliminate intimacy in a marriage.   

Being responsible to others is about expressing your own maturity. It’s about knowing your own thinking, embodying that thinking, and sometimes sharing that thinking with others. It is about directing self, rather than directing others. But here’s the tricky part— it also requires you to alleviate anxiety (or simply sit with it) in a different way than over-functioning. 

Note the contrast that is in the blue box above. Now consider the application for ministers and church leaders.

Being responsible for others can look like:

* Struggling to tolerate distress in the elders or the congregation. “Something must be wrong or everyone would be happy with me.” Such a perspective focuses on the futile attempt of trying to keep everyone happy.

* Directing or reassuring the congregation in order to calm yourself down. In some congregations, the sermon may appear to direct and reassure the congregation when actually, it is being used to have a calming effect on the preacher. Instead of being a calm presence, emotionally connected with the church, and clear about one’s own perspective, the preacher attempts to use the sermon to reassure the group so the preacher can feel better.

* Insisting that people borrow your thinking instead of using their own. Perhaps the minister presents an idea to the elder group. However, instead of helping the elders in their thinking, it is presented as “either you support me fully in my ideas or I will conclude that you must be like others in the church who are narrow, traditionalistic, and holding us back.”

Being responsible to others can look like:

* Attempting to calm yourself down when you are in an elders’ meeting and the tension is high. You focus on how you are feeling and what is going on within you.

* Being curious about the other person’s thinking. Perhaps as a church leader, someone approaches you who is very upset with something in the church. You might be tempted to either cut this person off or say something to placate him or her. Instead, you respond with genuine curiosity. “Can you help me understand how you arrived at your thinking?”

* Directing yourself in the relationship based on your own best thinking. In other words, instead of allowing your emotions to rule the day, think through what is taking place in the dynamic of the relationship and what might be your best response.

Resources

God moves in mysterious ways. A refreshing story in which we are reminded of the the beauty of gratitude and connection. (Length is 2:57)

* See the excellent article by Dr. Kathleen Smith, “Are You Responsible for Others, or Responsible to others?” June 4, 2021.

* Read the 2021 Praxis Community Letter by Dave Blanchard. See also “The Rule of Life for Redemptive Entrepreneurs.” I love what so many of these businesses and initiatives are doing.

* I keep up with what Australian John Dickson writes. See his excellent new book, Bullies and Saints: An Honest Look at Good and Evil of Christian History. Also see his podcast, “Undeceptions.”

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

The List of Five

What is Your Ideal Week?

(Christine Roy - Upsplash)

The words were simple. The sentence was short. But did it ever make me think! Rich Litvin wrote in his May 15, 2021 e-mail about the importance of asking a very important question as one begins a new week.

How can I create a week that makes me feel alive?

The question is helpful because it can be tempting (for me at least) to passively wait to see what the new week will bring, instead of taking intentional action.

This particular question invites us to become deliberative about the kind of week we would like to experience. Of course, ultimately, you cannot control your week. Sometimes opportunities to serve come unexpectedly. Sometimes problems seem to appear without any advance warning.

However, you and I can be intentional as we schedule our time and attention. The following have been very helpful practices for me:

* I can schedule what makes my soul feel alive. Do I have a routine each day for caring for my soul? For me, this is a morning routine that takes place prior to checking e-mail, social media, etc. This is a time when I read Scripture, pray, and engage with other spiritual disciplines.

* I can schedule what might make my mind feel alive. I want to read something that I enjoy, that brings me pleasure or interests me.

* I can schedule what might give me energy. I can be intentional about exercise, a walk, working out, etc.

* I can schedule time with those who give me energy and help me feel alive. I want to schedule time to be with people who encourage and bless me. In the meantime, I want to limit the amount of time I spend with people who regularly gripe, complain, and drain the life out of me.

When You Need to Remove a Wall

Mark Sayers, in Rebuilders: Essential Leadership Postures 2021, speaks of reading Julian Jackson’s biography of Charles de Gaulle entitled De Gaulle. At one point, he appeared before a cheering crowd. Charles de Gaulle later did some self-reflection on that moment:

I realized then that General de Gaulle had become a living legend, that they had formed a certain image of him. There was a person named de Gaulle who existed in other people's minds and was really a separate personality from myself. From that day on I would have to reckon with this man, this General de Gaulle. As General de Gaulle, I became almost his prisoner.

Some of us may be tempted to spend a great deal of time and attention toward creating a particular image. Yet, inwardly we know, there is a huge gap between this image and reality. As a result, we might project a protective relational wall between ourselves and others. (This is a real temptation for many ministers.) We want to control what others see and how they might perceive us.

The cost of this wall, however, is great. There is no real transparency. After all, you are trying to control what another sees. This also prevents us from being fully present with another, because we are guarded with what another might see.

Years ago, an older minister, whom I respected a great deal, told me that I seemed to have such a wall up in my life. (Of course I immediately felt defensive, misunderstood, etc.) The truth? He was right.

I certainly did not change overnight. However, I realized this wall could prevent me from ever becoming the kind of transparent man, husband, father, and minister that I wanted to be. It has been helpful is to continually keep the following question before me:

Where am I finding my identity?

If my identity is found in a life that is self-constructed, I will miss one of the great blessings that could be mine - an identity found in Jesus Christ.

How to Avoid Irrelevance

Brene Brown, in a conversation with Patrice Gordon (Daring to Lead podcast, May 10, 2021), spoke about one of the biggest “shame triggers” that a person can experience at work — the fear of irrelevance. This fear typically brings up one’s defenses which prevents learning and being curious. As a result, it prevents change and growth in leadership. Ultimately, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The fear of irrelevance.

You may have seen or experienced this when you or someone was passed over for a promotion.

You may have seen or experienced this when the company hired someone much younger than you and seemed to forget your knowledge and experience.

You may have seen or experienced this when a congregation decided to accept the ideas of a less experienced, less seasoned minister instead of what a more experienced person recommended.

Of course, non of us wants to feel as if we don’t measure up. Yet, if we are not careful, we can become defensive and overly focus on how others perceive us.

The tool that has been so helpful to me can best be expressed like this:

I have learned and continue to learn.

Yes, I have learned a lot. I have studied and read. As a part of my learning, I have gained experience. Sure, I have earned several academic degrees and I am grateful for what I learned as a result of this study.

Yet, I cannot assume that I have sufficient knowledge to carry me through. Nor can I assume that my resume and experience are sufficient for the future.

Yes, I have learned but must keep learning. Both are necessary.

* You and I have learned. Of course you have knowledge. In fact, you may be highly knowledgable. No doubt you have learned much from years of experience. No need to deny this. Whether others recognize or appreciate this, you have something to offer because of what you have learned.

* You and I need to continue learning. Continuing to learn can energize, stimulate creativity and enable you to lead. A commitment to learn can keep us fresh and also humble. It will also keep us from becoming irrelevant.

Ministry Thoughts

I never intended to become a minister.  I went to a state university and earned a degree in business.  During college, I began working for United Parcel Service and eventually even drove a UPS truck in downtown Dallas.  

After making some significant changes in my life, I returned to school and considered serving a church in some way. (I am leaving out much detail but God was definitely at work during these years.) I began preaching for a little storefront church in middle Tennessee.  I learned some stark, profound lessons about life as I interacted with people such as:

* Joe, who had suffered brain damage from a bicycle fall when he was a child. He sometimes interrupted my sermons with abrupt questions and comments. With Joe, I learned something about the importance of having patience and mercy.

* Susie, whose husband, a former deputy sheriff, had committed suicide. I recall listening to her as she told this story. She was, in those days, the single mother of two small children.

* Jane, a young woman in her late 20s who was diagnosed with cancer and subsequently died.  It was during her fierce battle with cancer that she became a Christian.

Some years later I began working with a congregation in North Alabama. Many of us, in this young congregation, discovered the wonderful grace of God together.  Time and time again I would see a sparkle in the eyes of men and women who had discovered that the gospel really was good news. These included:

* John, who went to a Christian school and turned to alcohol for much of his life, causing severe damage to his family.

* Katherine, who sat outside our auditorium one Sunday evening, depressed and despondent.  She was an alcoholic who looked many years older than she was.  That evening, she had been drinking and felt tremendous shame.  She said she wasn’t worthy to come into the assembly.  She sat in a folding chair, weeping, with her hands clutching her purse, which I later learned contained a handgun.

* Harry, who never missed a church service nor did he miss his nightly smoke of marijuana.

I served these people as a minister and friend. By then, I had graduated from seminary, but I also learned much from these people. These people gave me an education that went far beyond the classroom, as valuable as that was.

You and I can gain such an education by simply paying attention to people. However, this calls for humility and a willingness to learn.

Resources

* Michael Quoist, a French priest in Paris, wrote a fine book entitled, Prayers, (1963) which has blessed me. See if you related to the following entitle “The Telephone:”

I have just hung up; why did he telephone? I don’t know . . . Oh! I get it . . .

I talked a lot and listened very little.

Forgive me, Lord; it was a monologue and not a dialogue. I explained my idea and did not get his;

Since I didn’t listen, I learned nothing, Since I didn’t listen, I didn’t help, Since I didn’t listen, we didn’t commune.

Forgive me, Lord, for we were connected, and now we are cut off.

* Peter Scazzero wrote a very helpful book entitled Daily Office: Remembering God’s Presence Throughout the Day (2008). I love the words of this particular prayer (p. 21):

Jesus, I am so grateful that you understand what it is like to feel pressure from the expectations of others. It can feel crushing at times. Lord, help me to love others well, while at the same time, remain faithful to you. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

The List of Five

What Do You Expect in 2021?

For those of us who missed attending funerals and weddings, experienced sickness, or lost a job, we might especially be greatly relieved that 2020 is finally over. We would like to think that 2021 will be much better. Yet, maybe it is possible to have expectations about 2021 which are unrealistic and just not that helpful.

Pessimism - “Good grief! Another crummy year with these stupid masks and this crazy virus.”

Optimism - “It’s all good.”

Yet, it is possible to have better expectations about the New Year

Realism with Hope - “Life may be challenging and hard. However, God is at work in us and all around us!”

He continues to hold us in the palm of his hand, even in the darkest of days. He gives us resilience now, and hope into the future far beyond what the eye can see. This is a call to live by faith in God. This life of faith may be hard and may even include suffering. However, God is faithful to his promises and calls us to depend on him.

Of course, so much of what might happen in 2021 is out of our control. However, we can begin the New Year with the following commitments:

* You and I can seek first the kingdom of heaven. This, in many ways, will bring clarity to our year.

* You and I can consider what kind of person we would like to be 24 - 36 months from now. What kind of person do I wish to become?

* You and I can align at least some of our time each day around actions that will help us become the kind of person we desire to be. We can have daily habits and activities that are in line with becoming such a person.

Where might you begin with this?

Choose Habits that Will Undergird Your Life When You are Stressed

What habits will be a part of your life in 2021? These habits can bring value to our lives over time. A year like 2020 really heightened the importance of such habits for my self-care and resilience. Some of my own habits include the following:

* Each morning, I read my Bible and pray. I highlight phrases, words, etc. that have great meaning to me in the moment. My prayer is typically for my day at work and always includes my children and grandchildren.

* I write in my journal three mornings out of five. I no longer pay attention to writing coherent paragraphs. I am much more concerned with writing down my problems, the situations bringing me stress and even anxiety.

* Five mornings a week, I exercise on our elliptical machine at home, as well as workout with weights, stretching, etc. This is so important for me in dealing with stress. It also positively impacts my outlook on life and my energy level.

* Each morning, I pay attention to my mood. Am I up or down? Am I leaving for work feeling anxious or am I excited about the day? I find it very helpful to simply be aware of what is happening inside me.

* Each morning, I also try to be conscious of how I am feeling and where I might be experiencing any anxiety. I address this to God in prayer but I also want to be aware of how I am about to function as I begin my day. It is important to me to live out of my thinking and faith, instead of my anxiety. (See the excellent questions in this fine article by Kathleen Smith)

* About three days a week, I read a book that in some way nourishes me. In addition, I listen to various podcasts and read articles that in some way help me bring more value to others.

There are other habits that I could mention. However, the ones mentioned are particularly important to me.

Don’t Self-Limiting Beliefs Define Your Year

At the beginning of a new year, I consciously reflect on my life including the previous year and the upcoming year. I find it helpful to consider my self-limiting beliefs. After all, what you and I believe about life, ourselves, and our possibilities impact how we will function in 2021.

Self-limiting beliefs are what we often carry into our families, our work, etc. These self-limiting beliefs are false but we bring them along like baggage that always seems to be with us. They may come from our own self-perception or they might originate in the words of others. They may even be false beliefs that we have learned from our family of origin or the culture. These self-limiting beliefs are lies that imprison many of us. Do any of the following sound familiar?

* I can’t learn.

* I’m not very smart.

* I’m too old. There was a time when I was productive and was fully alive. No more.

* I’m too young. One day, I will experience real life but right now I’m too young.

* I would be living a significant life if I had more money. Since I don’t have much money, I can’t really do anything significant.

* I am not a significant minister. I have never spoken at a national gathering. No one “important” is even aware of my ministry. After all, I serve a small church in an out of the way place.

So many of us bring this baggage into our adult lives, discounting who we are, and the value we bring to others.

The truth is that our identity is found in Christ, not in self-limiting beliefs we have carried into our lives as adults. Because of our identity in him, we are capable of far more than we might imagine. Because of this identity, we can know that we are deeply loved by the Father.

What You and I Model Matters

I love these words by James Clear:

Modeling a behavior is stronger than telling someone to act differently.

Kids imitate the habits of their parents. Teammates match the competitive energy of one another. Employees learn to manage like their supervisor.

Be the standard and others will raise their standards.

(James Clear 3-2-1 Thursday, December 24)

As I read these words, I think about the importance of living an authentic, godly life and ministry. Years ago, when I was a minister in Waco, Tx., I asked an older, former minister, “What can I do to get the congregation to pray more?” At first, his reply startled me. He said, “Stop trying to do something to them. Just be a person of prayer and see what happens.”

He wasn’t telling me that there was nothing I could do to help them become a people of prayer. Rather, he wanted me to know that the place to begin was in authentically modeling such prayer in my own life.

Eight of My Favorite Podcasts

Managing Leadership Anxiety - Steve Cuss This is an excellent podcast. Typically, various Christian leaders are interviewed. Very helpful for any person attempting to deal with chronic anxiety both in oneself and in an organization.

Undeceptions - John Dickson Dickson is an Australian scholar who advocates for Christianity in a skeptical world. This podcast is well done! Dickson always makes me think.

Akimbo - Seth Godin. Seth Godin is a thinker who I find refreshing. Godin is unpredictable, practical, and very atune to the culture.

The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast - Cary Nieuwhof. I don’t listen to this every week. However, I am aware of the guest or the subject matter each week. Some very helpful conversations.

How I Work - Amantha Imber. She is an organizational psychologist who gives many practical suggestions for navigating work today. I find her to be very helpful.

Signposts - Russell Moore. Moore is a theologian whose thoughtful commentary on issues within the culture have helped me think. One example of this is his recent excellent conversation with Dr. Francis Collins, Director of the National Institute of Health.

Before Breakfast - Laura Vanderkam. These podcasts both deal with how a person might work. Each podcast is relatively short but offers helpful practical tips. I regularly take away something helpful.

Espresso and Earl Grey - Sam Chan and Sam Wen. Both are self described as “Two Asian Australians.” Dr. Sam Chan is a medical doctor and also has earned a Ph.D in theology. Sam Wen works at a local independent bookstore. I have found these 20 minute conversations to be helpful and stimulating.

This is just a sample. I have not included sermon podcasts, a number of ministry podcasts, and a few more general interest podcasts. Of course, if you know of podcasts that you recommend as “musts” please let me know.

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

I hope you find the following list of five encouraging or even helpful:

The List of Five

What Kind of Person Was I Meant to Be?

Some years ago, I spoke to two different groups of women in the Gatesville Correctional Facility in Gatesville, Texas. I had been asked to speak that day as a part of their educational curriculum.   The teacher of these two classes asked me to speak on “family.”  I agreed to come but then then later thought, “What am I going to say about family to these women who are in prison?” I wrestled with what might be appropriate or even helpful.  Finally, it occurred to me, to acknowledge the brokenness of us all and then discuss what God’s original intention might have been. I encouraged these women to think about the way a family was always meant to be – regardless of what they might have actually experienced.

Years later, I find it helpful to pay attention to God’s original design for my life, as reflected in his character and as it is revealed in Scripture.

What kind of person was I meant to be?

What kind of husband/wife was I meant to be?

What kind of father/mother was I meant to be?

These three questions have been very helpful to me — practically. The answer I give to these questions can help me move forward intentionally, each day.

My work today is with Harding School of Theology in Memphis. For many years, I served congregations as a minister. Yet, my ministry in a school or congregation does not exempt me from having to grapple with my character and God’s intention for my life.

What was I meant to be? If I continue to have my present attitude and make the choices that I am making, what kind of person will I ultimately be in a few years? What am I becoming?

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. (Rom. 12:1-2 from The Message)

Acknowledge the Losses While You Cherish What is Good

Both boys were seated on the second row in this large, urban congregation where I was a guest preacher that Sunday morning.  During the sermon, I spoke about God’s desire that we treasure him.  I gave each boy, neither of whom I knew, some money.  One boy received a nickel, and the other was given a five-dollar bill.  I emphasized that we do not value everything equally.  In this case, one would value a five-dollar bill much more than a nickel.   With a chuckle, I told the audience that after the assembly I might not see the boy with the nickel again but that I would be looking for the kid with my five-dollar bill!

Yes, we experience and acknowledge real losses. Divorce. Sickness. Financial failure. Death. As you read this, perhaps these losses are not words on a page but are a part of your own story. These losses are felt deeply and it is important that we acknowledge these.

This is also the time, however, to cherish our treasure. Those of us who feel tired, defeated, and exhausted may need to remember again, that we have a treasure in God that the events of 2020 cannot touch!

We also experience good, every single day. For example, consider these good moments:

* The sight of a vacation picture which brings back such joyful memories.

* The taste of chocolate chip cookies, a few moments after baking.

* The voice of a dear friend who you called today.

* The aroma of the first cup of coffee in the morning.

* The sound of children laughing.

We cling to our treasure, God himself. At the same time, we look for these precious gifts from God that may seem common and ordinary but add so much joy to our day.

Every good gift, every perfect gift, comes from above. These gifts come down from the Father, the creator of the heavenly lights, in whose character there is no change at all. (James 1:17 - CEB)

Focus on What You Can Control

Being a leader is not easy. It doesn’t matter whether you lead a business, teach elementary school, attempt to manage your home, or perhaps help lead a congregation. Margaret Marcuson, in her excellent book, Leaders Who Last, writes:

“When leaders can combine a clear sense of themselves with a wise understanding of human relationships, ministry can prosper…Being a church leader is never easy, but it is easier when you focus on what you can control: yourself and your response to others.”

Now that is a way to make real progress! So often leaders get focused on others. They ask, “How do I keep everyone else calm?” Sometimes we want to rush in and fix these people so that everything will be better. Ministers can get overly focused on calming their elders or the congregation. Mothers and dads can get overly focused on calming their children, etc.

Remember that the most powerful thing you can do is to focus on yourselves and your response to others. In other words, focus on your own functioning. This is something I come back to again and again. In the words of Dr. Charles Siburt, “Manage yourself!”

Deal With the Noise Through Solitude and Silence

Right now, there is a lot of noise in our nation. Voices are loud and certain. Much of this is expressed on social media. Sometimes, it seems that those who spend a lot of time on social media also deal with even more anxiety, perhaps due to the noise.

I have found this reminder by Henri Nowen helpful for remembering that solitude and silence may be more important now than ever.

(Henri Nowen, Out of Solitude, p. 21-22)

To live a Christian life means to live in the world without being of it. It is in solitude that this inner freedom can grow. Jesus went to a lonely place to pray, that is, to grow in the awareness that all the power he had was given to him; that all the words he spoke came from his Father; and that all the works he did were not really his but the works of the One who had sent him. . .

A life without a lonely place, that is, a life without a quiet center easily becomes destructive. When we cling to the results of our actions as our only way of self-identification, then we become possessive and defensive and tend to look at our fellow human beings more as enemies to be kept at a distance than as friends with whom we share the gifts of life. . . . In solitude we become aware that our worth is not the same as our usefulness.

Resources

Barry Davret, “How a Note-Taking System Can Make You Look Like the Smartest Person in the Room” Medium, November 11, 2019. I found this very helpful. I take notes on much of what I read, as well as webinars and some podcasts.

Lately, I have been reading articles from Medium. It is sort of a one stop for a variety of subjects. You might this helpful.

Recently, I have listened to this song (below) again and again, especially when I am thinking or just being still. Enjoy. (Elijah Bossenbroek, “I Give Up”)

Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful.

Below, the picture below was taken recently early one morning. Charlotte and I were staying in a little cabin overlooking Lake Hamilton, just outside Hot Springs, Arkansas. I’m ready to go back!

Each issue offers “The List of Five.”

The List of Five

A Prayer for Sunday Nights

(Take away: One can feel alone, and yet God reminds us of his forever presence through his Spirit)

Tonight, Lord, I am alone.

Little by little the sounds died down in the church,

The people went away,

And I came home, Alone.

Sunday nights. . . . When I was growing up, our family went to the Pleasant Grove Church of Christ in southeast Dallas. We were at church every Sunday evening. Afterward, we would typically go home from church to eat leftovers from lunch and watch television.

Later, after I began preaching, I would learn just how lonely Sunday nights can be.

When we first married, I preached at a congregation about an hour away from where we lived in North Alabama. When we finally got home on Sunday evening, I often felt down and discouraged. Sometimes I didn’t know why. Other times, I would rehearse a rude comment made by someone after Bible class that morning or a perceived failure I had experienced in preaching. Many ministers and other church leaders know what it is to feel very blue, down, depressed, etc. on Sunday night. Many can probably relate to the lines in the prayer above.

This poem, “The Priest: A Prayer on Sunday Night” was written by a French priest, Michel Quoist (b. 1921—d. 1997). This poem is from Quoist’s first book, Prayers, published in France in 1954. He writes this poem specifically about the priest, who unmarried, goes home alone each Sunday evening. However, many ministers, regardless of marital status, have experienced feeling very much alone as they attempt to carry out their ministries in their congregations.

Perhaps you (whether you are a minister, businessperson, parent, etc.) can relate to these lines:

It’s hard to always give without trying to receive.

It’s hard to seek out others and to be, oneself, unsought.

It’s hard to suffer from the sins of others, and yet be obliged to hear and bear them.

It’s hard to be told secrets, and be unable to share them.

It’s hard to carry others and never, even for a moment, be carried.

It’s hard to sustain the feeble and never be able to lean on one who is strong.

It’s hard to be alone.

Maybe one of the best things one can do is to be intentional about friendships. Simply having a friend to call, contact, and walk with occasionally can be so helpful. But Christ-followers also keep in mind the promise of God that he will never leave us or forsake us (Mt. 28:20; Heb. 13:5). In fact, the indwelling Spirit is God’s forever presence in our lives (Jn. 14:15-17). Christian people can feel very alone — but there is one who promises that we are never alone.

If you love me, show it by doing what I’ve told you. I will talk to the Father, and he’ll provide you another Friend so that you will always have someone with you. This Friend is the Spirit of Truth. The godless world can’t take him in because it doesn’t have eyes to see him, doesn’t know what to look for. But you know him already because he has been staying with you, and will even be in you!

(Jn. 14:15-17 - The Message)

When You Feel Weary

(Take away: life can leave a person feeling tired and weary. Yet, we can be intentional about our own self-care)

Gordon MacDonald tells of a time when as a child he was traveling with his family on a dusty deserted road in Canada. It was late, and the family had been traveling the entire day. They were lost, tired, and becoming irritable with one another. They could not find a motel, and the few cabins they did see had “No Vacancy” signs in the window. The trip had begun with excitement but all of that had worn away as they pushed ahead thinking that down the road somewhere, there had to be a place to sleep. McDonald writes:

I have often recalled the feelings and frustrations of that late-night, dark-road experience whenever my life seemed to momentarily turn into a mindless or spiritless journey crammed with events (not experiences) and contacts (not relationships). In such confounding periods my sense is that one feels like my family did that night in Canada. Where is all of this going? What does it mean? And, how will I know when the destination has been reached? Why has this exciting trip suddenly turned into a wearisome journey? Where will I find tranquility again? (Gordon MacDonald, Restoring Your Spiritual Passion, pp. 7-8)

Finally, they located a cabin. On the horizon they saw a sign that read, “Weary Travelers Welcome, Vacancy.”

Soon our family is in a small cabin. Our irritabilities are quickly dispelled; we lie down to rest, and soon we are asleep. The weariness of that day that had deflated our enthusiasm for a vacation trip drains away in the nighttime hours. The next morning parents and children will rise again, the prospects and the passion for a continued journey brighter than ever. The night is forgotten. (MacDonald, Restoring Your Spiritual Passion, p. 219-220)

So what might add value to your ministry (whether on staff with a church, a businessperson, a school teacher, etc.)? What can be helpful when you are tired and weary?

* Stay connected with a few life-giving friends. You know who they are. You feel better just for having talked with them. Who do you need to call today?

* Pay attention to your body. My body needs sleep, exercise, and a healthy diet. In a highly anxious time, this is critical. I also need to pay attention to my body because this is typically where anxiety shows up. Steve Cuss, in Managing Leadership Anxiety, says “Anxiety generally starts in either a racing mind, a spinning heart, or a tightening gut” (p. 42).

* Focus on today. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow is in the future. Take the next right step, today. Sometimes you and I can get overly focused on the obstacles that are frustrating or on the exasperating behavior of others. In the midst of this, we can become completely overwhelmed. Lay one brick at a time. You can only control how YOU might lay the next brick.

* Be kind and gracious to yourself. “If being hard on yourself was going to work, it would have worked by now” (Jamie Smart, The Little Book of Clarity).

Some of us are so hard on ourselves. The judgement and critiques are in and these often come from our own hearts. No matter what we do, we condemn ourselves for not being enough. Then the same old accusatory messages begin to come. “What’s wrong with you?” or “I need to try harder.” Perhaps one of the best things we could do is to simply be as kind to ourselves as we might be to another person.

With the loving mercy of our God,    a new day from heaven will dawn upon us.It will shine on those who live in darkness,    in the shadow of death.It will guide us into the path of peace.

(Lk. 1:78-79 - New Century Version

Ask Better Questions

(Take away: there are certain questions that can give us energy as opposed to the questions which are often depleting and draining )

Some people spend much of their time and energy, blaming and complaining. There were seasons of my life in which I blamed and complained far too much. I blamed the elders, the congregation, the economy, the community, etc. Sometimes I would complain. Far too often, I blamed and complained, usually to my wife.

A few years ago, I read QBQ: The Question Behind the Question by John G. Miller. In this little book, I began to think about the importance of asking questions that gave me energy, invited personal accountability, and which helped with my maturing. Basically, they were questions like the ones below. Notice how these questions are framed. Today, when I am tempted to blame or complain, I try to remember the power of reframing these concerns.

“What can I do to improve this situation?” (p. 23)

“How can I adapt to the changing world?" (p. 31)

“How can I better understand you?” (p. 32)

“What can I help move the project forward?” (p. 46)

“What can I do right now?” (p. 83)

“How can I make a difference today?” (p. 83)

“What can I do to show that I care?” (p. 102)

Where To Invest For More Resilience

(Take away: I can’t over emphasize the importance of developing resilience. Take note of the three suggestions below)

This happened on Wednesday of last week. A road crew had been doing its work and someone decided to park a piece of heavy equipment in front of our mailbox. Later he returned and accidentally demolished our mailbox within seconds. There are days when I have felt like this at the end of the day. Wiped out.

Life can be exhausting! Right now — these last three months have been exhausting. I have been paying more attention to my own resilience. How will I move on? How will I bounce back? One morning, as I got out of bed and began my day, I noticed I was feeling more anxious than normal. Watching too much media had not helped (COVID-19 deaths, racism, injustice, and riots in American cities.) For me the question is, “how do I nurture my own capacity for resilience?”

(The following comes from an article by Chris Adams and Matt Bloom, “Flourishing in Ministry: Wellbeing at Work in Helping Professions” in the Journal of Psychology and Christianity 2017, Vol. 36, No. 3, 254-259). Also see this website - WorkWell.

If you are in business, a minister, or in any high-stress profession, it is important to develop your capacity for resilience. Resilience is the capacity to push on in spite of setbacks, to push on in spite of hitting a wall, and to push on in spite of discouragements. Adams and Bloom suggest three important resilience capacities:

Self-awareness - “the capacity to step back from the flow of life to notice what we are feeling, thinking, and doing.” Self-awareness is to be aware of what is happening within you so that you are not simply infecting other people with your anxiety or allowing the anxiety of others to infect you.

Self-reflectivity - “the ability to examine and think about our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, especially in terms of whether or not they are appropriate, good, helpful, or otherwise positive for ourselves, other people, and the world around us.” We reflect on how we responded and whether or not it was helpful or not so helpful.

Self-control - “this is our capacity to change things in ourselves and the world around us.” We make a decision to be a less anxious or calm presence. We decide how we are going to show up with other people.

I have found this very, very helpful in my work, ministry, and relationships. Perhaps this will be helpful to you.

Remember What Counts

(Take away: there are numerous ways in which the church may be called to respond to the racial crisis. This needs to begin by remembering our identity in Christ)

What a year! - 2020

A deadly virus. 112,000 deaths (at this writing) in the USA alone (thousands of these in nursing homes). Weeks and weeks of being quarantined (though many continued to work in hospitals, grocery stores, etc.) Many of us watched this story each day as the virus spread across the nation.

There are other stories. The shooting of a young African-American man on a neighborhood street in Georgia, in broad daylight. A horrible scene in Minnesota with a 46 year old African-American man, George Floyd, being murdered by police. All of this is so wrong and inexcusable on so many levels.

The killings that took place in Georgia and Minnesota are not new. However, these are on video.

Today, there are protests in cities throughout the nation (actually, throughout the world). In many cities there are riots with chaos, destruction, violence, and death.

May God help us all!

Christian people remember their baptisms. In my baptism, I surrendered to Jesus. I became a Christ-follower. He is Lord. He is the one in whom I am to find my identity and in whom I am to surrender in obedience.

The two greatest commandments tell us to love God and love neighbor. Yet, these are also the two commandments that often give us so much difficulty.

We are called to love God (instead of the seductive idols we are so attracted to).

We are called to love our neighbor (instead of seeing some people as objects for which we may use, abuse, discard, or have little regard for).

We are called to love the Lord our God and to love every person created in his image. No child, no man, no woman, is someone who can simply be seen as an object.

One thing we can’t do. We cannot simply look the other way. Jesus taught us this long ago.

In congregations, what really matters right now is remembering who we are and who we've been called to be. Seeking to please others will only leave us prideful, confused, and a sinful mess.

May God have mercy on us all.

Each Friday/Saturday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other church leaders as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

Jim Martin serves as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find him at God-Hungry.org. His e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful.

Each issue offers “The List of Five.”

The List of Five

What you are learning right now may be so significant

(Take away: As challenging as this pandemic has been for us all, perhaps there are some things learned which may prove to add value to our lives for many years.)

Recently, I have been thinking about the various decades of my life. For me, my 60s has been the hardest, most challenging of any decade. Disappointments and unforeseen challenges can add up. Of course each of us has a story and may experience intense challenges early, middle, or late in life. A person can be reduced to being bitter, and cynical. Or, one can learn to take a different path. For me, this path has been about investing in what brings me energy and joy, so that in some way I am living out of the overflow of my life. All of this is rooted in the very life of God, experienced through Jesus (John 10:10).

Lately, I have particularly mindful of what I have learned during this pandemic. I have become even more convicted regarding the critical need for intentional self-care. For me this includes: attention to particular spiritual disciplines; exercise; being outside each day; contacting life-giving friends just to check-in; laughing; watching minimal news; reading books that feed my mind/heart, etc. Attentiveness to this self-care has been a real priority for me right now.

I asked a few friends what they were learning during this world-wide pandemic. Note the reflections below. They are excellent!

Greg Dowell (Associate Minister, Central Church of Christ, Amarillo, Tx.)

I have been reminded that I’m a human being.  I’m going through this crisis like everyone else.  Too often I try to care for others during difficult times and I neglect myself.  When my rhythms get off track, I continually find myself ministering from a place of emptiness.  That can be exhausting.  Being intentional about carving out time for prayer, relationships, exercise, family, play and rest allows me to personally deal with this the crisis at hand.  And it’s the best gift I can give to others.

Becky Burroughs (Outreach Minister, Highland Oaks Church of Christ, Dallas, Tx.— most importantly - my sister)

I learned about the power of my thoughts.  When my thoughts are negative, I feel fearful, anxious and sad.  I become stuck.

When I focus on opportunity, I feel curious and hopeful.  I become productive, creative, and imaginative.

Bottom line:  as go my thoughts, so go my feelings and then my actions.  Reminds me of Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Dusty Rush (Campus Church, Norcross, Ga.)

I have been learning that a deep, spiritual relationship with God does not flourish in isolation. This is the opposite of what I once believed. I tried to practice disciplines that silenced the world so that I could hear God…which can be valuable. But I never learned to listen for God in others…to imagine that love experienced in community is what relationship with God is, because God is a community of love - Father, Son, and Spirit.

Shon Smith (Naperville Church of Christ, Naperville, IL.)

I have learned to be more observant of my thought life. Thoughts about past failures or future uncertainties often loop in my mind. If I do not recognize and deal with them, they keep me from being fully present. I have found journaling and going on long walks to be a great outlet for dealing with those self-sabotaging thoughts. 

Dr. Bill Petty (Professor of Finance - Retired, Baylor University)

I have come to value margin in my life all the more.  Previously, I kept my daily life so full.  I now have more time to reflect on how I want to finish well as I approach 78 years of age.  I have mentally moved from activities to having more time for affirming others.

Help for Developing Resilience

(Take away: There are practices available for anyone who wishes to grow in the capacity to be resilient. These practices may be life changing!)

Tod Bolsinger has written a helpful new book, Leadership for a Time of Pandemic: Practicing Resilience (available in Kindle form and of this writing is only $3.99). This book is actually a preview of a much more thorough book which will be available later in the year (2020).

This is particularly interesting to me because of the word “resilience.” I want the capacity to bounce back, to recover, to continue on, even after disappointments and challenges. Only in the last few years have I really begun to appreciate the importance of this.

Part of the book description on Amazon includes the following:

For decades, Tod Bolsinger has helped leaders learn to adapt to a rapidly changing world that seminary training had not prepared them for. Now he has provided a unique resource applying some of his key insights to the current global crisis. Leadership for a Time of Pandemic draws from Tod's popular book Canoeing the Mountains to describe the basics of adaptive leadership in uncharted territory. Then, in a preview of his forthcoming book Tempered Resilience: How Leaders Are Formed in the Crucible of Change, he focuses on how to create a rule of life in order to stay resilient.This brief, timely book is an ideal resource for leadership teams to explore together. Christian leaders in any context will find wisdom and encouragement to provide the kind of resilient leadership that has never been so necessary.

Bolsinger appeals to Christian leaders to begin doing or practicing what will enable us to become more resilient. This is more than what one might be thinking or praying about. Rather, he invites the reader to consider practices that could make a great difference. “Practices, then, are not about learning intellectual concepts but about developing bodily capacity. Practices create a kind of spiritual muscle memory, training us to respond to a crisis and resistance like it is second nature.” (Kindle Location 282)

Two of these practices include “listening” and “looking.” (Bolsinger gives examples of disciplines for each one of these practices). I find this encouraging because these practices are within our reach as Christ-followers and Christian leaders. The practices of listening intently and learning to pay attention to others are significant!

Consider the following:

“Listening turns the attention of a leader to other people’s pain points instead of our own institutional survival or grand projects. Listening helps us focus our energy, build momentum, and strive to make a genuine difference.” (Location 381)

“The key attribute for being a good adaptive leader is the ability to resist default reactions to crises and instead to pause to see the issue at hand in all of its complexity.” (Location 472)

Bolsinger concludes by telling the reader of his own growth as a resilient leader: “Part of what had changed my mind and prepared me to lead my team over the following weeks were the practices in this ebook: Listening and looking: Attuning and adapting.” (Location 517)

Add Value to Your Leadership and Influence

(Take away: Note what leaders did who led during periods of intense crisis. We can learn much from these people.)

Nancy Koehn is a business historian at Harvard Business School. Several years ago, she wrote a book, Forged in Crisis: The Making of Five Courageous Leaders, which made a significant impression on me and gave me clarity for my leadership. Recently, she was featured in a webinar in which she discusses practical leadership lessons learned from Ernest Shackleton, Abraham Lincoln, and Frederick Douglas. (I encourage you to watch the video of this webinar below).

Some of these insights and encouragements include:

* We are currently living through the defining moment of our generation.

* Get comfortable with the uncertainty.

* Frame the stakes for your team.

* Communication is key.

* Taking care of one another is essential now more than ever.

(See Caroline Wright, Five Key Insights on Leading Courageously During a Crisis, April 30, 2020)

Encouragement You May Find Helpful

(Take away: Being a congregation during this time of pandemic is challenging. Yet, congregations are also learning much about what it means to be God’s people.)

Recently James Nored interviewed Dr. Lynn Anderson regarding “Shepherding Through the Current Crisis.” This interview took place in the form of a class (hosted by Austin Graduate School of Theology). Participants were from several different countries. I loved this interview!

Lynn Anderson said, “God-hungry people are not looking for a new building or bells and whistles attached to a program. They are looking for engagement with others, they are looking for acceptance, they are looking for connection, they are looking for community, they are looking for hope. . . This is the essence of what is there when you get the trappings stripped away. It is the first several centuries of the church.”

Resources

Seven Spectacular Libraries You Can Explore From Your Living Room. Very interesting.

Do you read “GatesNotes”? (the blog of Bill Gates) Typically I discover books that were previously unknown to me.

Some of you might enjoy Alan Jacob’s (author/Baylor University professor) newsletter Snakes and Ladders.

Don’t miss these stunning photographs - Winners of the 2020 BigPicture Natural World Photography Competition.

"Boxing is a poor man’s sport. It’s a sport that demands your outright respect. Most people look at boxing or any contact sport and say, “Wow, I couldn’t do that,” because they don’t possess the thing inside of us that makes us go through pain. It takes something to activate that. That’s what separates fighters from other people."

— Sugar Ray Leonard (See Daniel McGinn, “Life’s Work: An Interview with Sugar Ray Leonard,” Harvard Business Review, January - February 2020.)

Each Friday/Saturday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other church leaders as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

Jim Martin serves as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find him at God-Hungry.org. His e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what was encouraging or helpful.

Before publishing this Encouragement Note, I read through it one last time and asked, “Will those who read this really find it helpful and encouraging?”

Each issue offers “The List of Five.”

The List of Five

Add Value to Your Day by Getting Clear About Your Purpose

(Take away: Being intentional about your purpose and the practical implications for your life, marriage, parenting, work/career, etc. can provide great clarity for taking the next right step)

It was 3:00 AM, I was 19 years old, and working all night in a fast-food hamburger place (Jack-in-the-Box). I was alone. There were no customers and typically the early morning hours were pretty quiet. This particular morning, I was not only alone but felt lonely. I was a freshman in college. I felt very disconnected and lacking any real direction in my life. My emptiness was not only due to uncertainties about the future, career, direction in life, etc. but the “why” or purpose of my life. I was missing a clear “why.”

Recently, my friend Clark Morris of William Jewel College (Liberty, Missouri) shared with me the following thoughts:

In February we hosted our annual event where we award our top Achievement award to deserving alumni.  One of those achievers, Dr. Rev. Vernon Percy Howard who is a civil rights champion encouraged our students to “KNOW YOUR WHY”.  I’ve thought this is a good time as our operational and financial challenges abound to reflect on WHY we believe in what we do and how we can offer hope and optimism to our colleagues, students, funders, and other community members.  For them to understand that we know our why, our purpose, our reason gives them a chance to share in our optimism and hope for the future, even when that future is different than we had once imagined. (Clark Morris - Vice President for Advancement - William Jewel College)

Maybe one of the most valuable things we could do right now is to review our “why.”

* What is my purpose for being alive?

* What is the “why” behind my marriage?

* What is the purpose for which I am rearing my children?

* What is the mission and purpose of my business/work/profession?

* What is the reason for the existence of our congregation? What does a “win” look like?

As I review my “why” or purpose, I then consider the practical implications for this purpose in each dimension of my life. I have learned that when I feel stuck, bored, dull, or floundering in any one of these areas, getting clear about my “why” often brings great clarity for taking the next right step.

The power of such reflection is in linking these purposes with what you are actually doing each day. What are you doing that links to your “why”?

Get Clear About Your Keystone Habits

(Take away: Certain bedrock or keystone habits can be very significant to your own growth and formation)

Do you have a place where you regularly meet God? Do you have a place that is special or even sacred to you?

For some it might be sitting on the porch of a cabin in the mountains of Colorado. For others, it might be walking along the beach early in the morning, long before others have awakened.

For me, it is at a table where Charlotte and I have eaten most of our meals for the last 37 years. This table has been with us in Florence, Ala.; Kansas City, Mo.; and Waco, Tex. This table is now in our kitchen in Memphis, Tn.

I remember, decades ago, when both of our girls were sitting in their high chairs at this table. I remember eating meals with family and friends at this table. I remember both laughter and long conversations at this table.

For 37 years, this table has also been the place where I start my day very early in the morning. It was the table where I read my Bible, prayed, and wrote in my journal. It was the table where I spoke to God of my joys and where I cried out to God on behalf of our children and those in our congregation.

Now, it is still the table where I regularly meet God. It is the table where I drink coffee and read my Bible. It is the table where I write in my journal. It is the table where I often pray - for our children, grandchildren, and others.

In many respects, this is a place where I practice some of my “keystone” habits.

I enjoyed Charles Duhigg’s book, The Power of Habit, and I listen to his podcast “How To!” regularly. In his book, he uses the term “keystone habit” which I find very helpful.

“Small wins are exactly what they sound like, and are part of how keystone habits create widespread changes. A huge body of research has shown that small wins have enormous power, an influence disproportionate to the accomplishments of the victories themselves.” (Charles Duhigg, The Power of Habit)

What are your keystone habits? What daily habits are nurturing for you? Some of my morning keystone habits include the following:

* Reading my Bible (four chapters - two in the OT, one Psalm, and one NT chapter)

* Praying

* Reading something that feeds my soul.

* Journaling. Some entries are long and some very brief.

* Reflecting on the three big “rocks” that I plan to work on this day. (Many of us have “to do” lists filled with many items. However, I want to focus my time on two to three big rocks that could make a big difference. I have found Gary Keller, The ONE Thing very helpful.)

Not every single morning looks like this. However, there are components of these in what I do every morning.

It doesn’t matter if your habits do not look like mine. However, I do believe it is helpful to at least identify the habits that breath life into your mind and soul. What are these for you?

The Power of Being Intentional With Encouragement

(Take away: you and I can make a lasting, positive mark in someone’s life through intentional encouragement. See what this might look like)

I was a student at the University of North Texas earning a degree in business. I was home and decided to visit a congregation nearby. That Sunday morning I met James Long, who would significantly encourage me at such an impressionable time in my life. James, (see the picture below - far right) was the owner of a retail business in the Dallas area. The first time I met him, he introduced himself and gripped my hand with his firm handshake. This man, with his large black glasses and ever-present cowboy boots, deeply loved the Lord. He also cared deeply about people who did not know Jesus.

James consistently and specifically affirmed the good in me. He payed attention to my behavior and actions. A year or so later, I was asked to speak to the congregation for about ten minutes. After the service was over and most everyone had left, we sat together on the front row in that empty auditorium. He put his arm around me and told me that I had done some things well and that in time, I would improve even more. He spoke words of blessing and affirmation. His encouragement was a tender moment that I will always remember.

Perhaps there has been no better encourager than Barnabas, whose encouragement was significant in the early church.

Remember some of the ways he encouraged others?

* He encouraged others by expressing his Lordship-faith through sacrificial giving (Acts 4:32-37).  He is later described as a “good man and full of the Holy Spirit.”  He has spent a year with the Antioch church.  He gave his money, his time, and his credibility. He later returned to Antioch (Acts 14:22) “…strengthening the disciples and encouraging them to remain true to the faith.”

* He encouraged others by taking risks (Acts 9:27-31). Risked his credibility and his reputation.  Barnabas stood up for Paul. 

* He encouraged others by paying attention to the presence and work of God in the people around him (Acts 11:19-24).  Consider what was said about Barnabas, “When he arrived and saw the evidence of the grace of God, he was glad and encouraged them all to remain true to the Lord with all their hearts.” 

* He encouraged others by his commitment to a person who needed a second chance (Acts 15:35-40). He encouraged John Mark who had disappointed them by abandoning them during the a ministry trip.  Barnabas wanted to give him another chance, though Paul believed this is a mistake.  Later, Paul apparently gained confidence in him again and requested Mark’s presence while he was in prison saying, “He is helpful to me in my ministry” (2 Timothy 4:11).

So what does it look like to encourage? The following is a place to begin:

* Encouragement is not a “one size fits all.” We encourage another when we pay attention to what might build up that particular person, whatever that might be.

* Encouragement is more powerful when it is specific. We encourage when we point out and affirm something specifically good in another person or done well by that person.

* Encouragement for another may be found in one’s actions which for some may be more significant than words. We can encourage through both actions and words.

But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet. For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him. Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. (I Thessalonians 5:8-11)

Be Calm and Yet You Will Feel the Emotions

(Take away: We can choose to be a calm presence where we are. However, that doesn’t reflect the absence of feeling but the decision to self-regulate what we feel)

Calmness matters. Being a non-anxious presence (or at least a less anxious presence) certainly helps. Being a calm presence can be enormous in such an anxious time like this. Calmness allows all of us to think better and to respond to challenges instead of simply reacting. Yet, calmness does not mean that you do not feel various emotions.

Dr. Marc Brackett of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence has on his website a very useful tool called “RULER.” RULER is an acronym for the five skills of emotional intelligence:

Recognizing emotions in oneself and othersUnderstanding the causes and consequences of emotionsLabeling emotions with a nuanced vocabularyExpressing emotions in accordance with cultural norms and social contextRegulating emotions with helpful strategies

Being a calm presence does not mean that you do not feel emotions such as anxiety, worry, frustration, anger, etc. It does mean that you attempt to regulate these emotions.

I can pay attention to my own emotions, even as I seek to be a calmer presence among others. Such a presence will help us think better (instead of reacting) and bring clarity into difficult situations. In contrast, spewing my anxiety all over others has a way of ratcheting up the anxiety in those around me. You and I still feel fear, discouragement, anxiety, etc. However we self-regulate these feelings. That is, we attempt to manage our emotions that can be disruptive and impulsive. Through this self-awareness and by the power of the Spirit, we choose to be a calmer presence among others.

The following video features Dr. Carl Williamson who was formerly a church planter in New Jersey and now teaching Bible (discipleship and church planting) at Harding University. In this video, Carl (a Harding School of Theology graduate) reflects on his ministry during Hurricane Sandy (2012). Notice at 24:26 as he discusses his own emotions, as he and others dealt with Hurricane Sandy relief work. This is a wonderful example of someone who attempted to be a helpful presence and yet paid close attention to his own emotions.

In the Meantime, Some Good News

(Take away: Below are comments by a few ministers who are highlighting some of the good that has taken place in the life of their church during this season of COVID-19)

Jeff Cary - (Idalou, Tx. - just outside of Lubbock) I have built questions into each sermon that ask the kids/teens to provide feedback in the chat comments of Facebook live. Others interact with me during the sermon, but these times of our kids and teens having a voice have been special.

We now have a routine that when people log into our Facebook Live broadcast, they add in the chat box things they are thankful for as they are greeting everyone. It has been a great way to sustain our sense of togetherness rooted in a common faith.

Bob Chisholm - (Dallas, Tx.) Prior to the Corona health crisis there already was a group of people in our church, and in all churches, who were sheltered in place.  We sometimes refer to them as homebound or shut-in.  Since most of our Sunday morning Bible classes, as well as 33 of our Small Groups, and the Tuesday Ladies Class are now being Zoomed, these elderly brothers and sisters have been tuning in.   One of our elders pointed out how sad it would be to take this connection away from them by ending this technological link when we are past Covid-19 and our “need” to stream.  So, there is now conversation about how to install cameras in strategic places, giving this special part of our spiritual family a way to continue their connection.

Adam Noles - (Poplar Bluff, Mo.) One of our young families, who I know has a lot on their plates right now (2 jobs + 11-year old twins + schooling from home + caring for elderly parents), took some roses to a older couple in our church who cannot get out. 

The wife/mother of a new family at church has been considering baptism. I believe the situation with the virus led to her reaching out to discuss it. 

Kevin Owen - (Lebanon, Tn.) On Easter Sunday weekend our Children’s ministry team put together bags filled with Easter eggs and other goodies for the kids.  Our young families drove through and were handed bags by our “Easter bunny” and volunteers wearing gloves. As they slowly drove through our ministers were spaced out and we applauded and said kind words to them.  It was a kind of reverse parade.  I was not prepared for the emotional response both from ministers and young families as we saw people for the first time in weeks.   Many of the families drove out into the parking lot, rolled down windows being careful to keep proper distances and talked. Their kids were waving to one another speaking kind encouraging words.  It was clear we love one another and miss each other very much.  While so much has changed our love for one another has only grown stronger.  

Our congregation like most is working hard to make sure we are calling our members every week.   Our 12 elders are calling, texting and emailing. Our Life group leaders, Bible class teachers and ministry leaders are calling their various constituency’s.  What’s really neat is now the people in the pews are starting to call us.  I got a call from a man in his mid-eighties whose wife is struggling with dementia.  He called me, the preacher, just to ask how are you doing?  Can I help you?  I believe God is doing a good work in this good mans heart.

Allan Stanglin (Amarillo, Tx.) I'm doing two of these 15-20 minute podcasts per week. On Tuesdays I bring in another minister or someone from our church family with some expertise in a certain area. I had a long-time homeschool mom give everybody tips on helping their kids with online school. I brought in a professional therapist to talk about dealing with social distancing as someone who lives alone and as families. I brought in a doctor to dispel fears and dispense helpful suggestions. On Thursdays we do "A Passage and Prayer" in which one of our elders shares a passage of Scripture that is especially meaningful to him right now and a prayer for the congregation. 

Smith Hopkins (Memphis, Tn.) One of our members has facilitated an online talent show on her Facebook feed. Friends, church members, and (lots of) children have submitted videos of themselves sharing unique gifts in ordinary settings. There have been dance numbers, cooking, songs, piano, and parodies, and more. With each entry, she overwhelms with encouragement. For her, everyone is a winner (but especially the kids).

Resources

* You might enjoy this video recording of this recent webinar with Dr. Ron Heifetz of the Harvard Kennedy School. This webinar is in the McKinsey leadership series: “Leadership in a Crisis” with Dr Ron Heifetz. (Heifetz is an excellent and helpful resource).

* Don’t miss this article from Praxis. “Leading Beyond the Blizzard: Why Every Organization Is Now a Startup” by Andy Crouch, Kurt Keilhacker, and Dave Blanchard. I had the pleasure of being on a Zoom call recently with a group of 25 young business persons and Dave Blanchard. (Thanks to my son-in-law, Calvin Kiburz, for the invitation.) I was very impressed with the entire group.

* I always look forward to Tim Spivey’s “Stream of Consciousness” that he posts on many Fridays. Invariably I come away with a resource or thought that is helpful. I love this quote in his most recent post. - “Humility is perfect quietness of heart. It is to expect nothing, to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me, and when I am blamed or despised. It is to have a blessed home in the Lord, where I can go in and shut the door, and kneel to my Father in secret, and am at peace as in a deep sea of calmness, when all around and above is trouble.”― Andrew Murray

* Tons of closed museums are posting videos of virtual visits. Check out two of these The Van Gogh Museum and The Louvre. (Thanks to Open Culture and Austin Kleon for this.)

Each Friday/Saturday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other church leaders as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

Jim Martin serves as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find him at God-Hungry.org. His e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful.

Many of us are just trying to navigate life in a whirlwind of challenges. Hopefully, in some way this issue will provide encouragement and help.

Each issue offers “The List of Five.”

The List of Five

How to remain fully alive all your life

(Take away: 5 characteristics of lifelong learners)

* He was a longtime New Testament professor at a Christian university. For many years he taught undergraduate Bible classes.  He was always a student and a scholar who never stopped learning and growing.  This day would be no exception. 

As the chapel program began, a young undergraduate walked to the lectern to "make a talk."  The old professor did what was his custom each day in chapel.  He opened his notebook and began to take notes of the young man’s talk. 

One day, a colleague asked him about this habit.  The old professor explained that he wanted to learn and grow.  He said "I never know when I might learn something.  So I want to be ready to write it down."

What are some characteristics of people who are lifelong learners?

A. Lifelong learners intend to grow, develop, and keep on learning.  Much learning is done "on purpose."  We are at an advantage when we desire to learn and intend to learn.

B. Lifelong learners know that there are many, many ways to learn.  For example, I have learned much from reading.  I can point to a number of biographies and other books that have been important in my growth and development.  We also learn from the people around us, such as friends and co-workers. These people have occasionally asked me important questions that have caused me to think about my life and the way I minister.

C. Lifelong learners are humble.  It is understandable that one would be willing to learn from leading experts, top professors, and prolific authors.  However, am I willing to learn from one of my peers?  Am I willing to learn from one who has less experience or formal education?  Am I willing to learn from someone who is younger?  Am I willing to learn from one whom I have helped mentor?  Humility is to acknowledge that I may know very little about a particular area of life or work and I am willing to listen.  Humility means that I could be wrong about something. 

D.  Lifelong learners have learned and are learning.  There is nothing arrogant about acknowledging that I have learned something.  I have lived, thought, and studied for a number of years and I have learned a few things about life and ministry.  At the same time, I continue to learn.

E.  Lifelong learners maintain a healthy curiosity about life, God, and the things that matter most.  So often men and women lose any sense of curiosity and settle for self-imposed ruts.  On the other hand, those who remain curious are often willing to try something different. (I have noticed this in people who seem to always be growing, regardless of their age.)  Perhaps I listen to music I don’t normally listen to. Maybe I watch a television program about a part of the world about which I know nothing.  I might take a different route home from work just to observe what I typically do not see.  At the restaurant, perhaps I could order something different than what I might typically order.  Making such choices can nurture my curiosity and zest for life.

What’s Trust Got to Do With It?

(Take away: 5 qualities that build trust)

Years ago, I was teaching a Wednesday evening class at our church. The class was about to begin.  A woman was still talking as I attempted to start the class.  I said something about her to the group, thinking it would be funny. Everyone laughed. Well, almost everyone.  She did not laugh.  In fact, the next day she called me and wanted to visit for a few minutes.  My words had hurt her. They brought up memories of earlier humiliations in her life.  Last evening, in front of everyone, her minister had embarrassed and humiliated her. Of course, I felt awful when I realized how hurtful my actions had been. My judgement had been poor and on some level I had broken trust.

Some level of trust is important and even critical in our various relationships.

* A friendship.

* A business relationship (employee/employer as well as relationships with vendors, customers, client/patients and colleagues).

* A marriage (note some of the trust-breakers including pornography, secret relationships with other and infidelity).

* A congregation.

If you are in relationship with anyone for any length of time, people will typically come to know if you are trustworthy. They will know if you are a person who honors his/her word. They will know whether you tend to reveal what others have told you in confidence. They will know whether or not you are safe. They will know whether or not you really care. They will know.

A few observations about trust in congregations.

One preacher said to me many years ago: “Jim, if these people trust you, they will often give you the benefit of the doubt. If these people trust you, they are likely to assume the best. However, if these people don’t trust you, then it really doesn’t matter what you do. They will often assume the worst.” Trust between a minister and the elders in a congregation is critical. Trust involves another’s perception of both a minister’s intent and competency. Do they perceive that this minister’s heart is in the right place? Do they perceive that this minister is competent?

The best thing a minister can do is to be trustworthy before the elders and the congregation. After all, if the elders or the congregation cease to trust the minister, that person’s ministry with that congregation is severely damaged and perhaps has come to an end. Constant withdrawals eventually bankrupt the trust account in a ministry.

Of course, I realize that some people have unreal expectations for both a minister and the elders. Yet, trustworthiness is really not about meeting some ridiculous standard of perfection. We do ministers (and the congregations they serve) a dis-service when we put them on a pedestal. (Likewise, we ministers do no one any favor when we try to minister from a pedestal.) Yet, a congregation can appreciate, esteem, and respect their minister without putting this person on a pedestal. Ministers, however, have to take responsibility for their own trust-building behavior. Consider these important trust questions:

* Can I trust this minister with my thoughts and ideas, with my spouse or with anything else that is valuable to me?

* Is this minister serious about being Christ-like? Does this minister have a vibrant faith or is this just a career choice?

* How large is the gap between this person’s public self and this person’s private life?

Consider these five questions that are important for most any relationship.

* Do we share the same values? Do I put a premium on my own spiritual formation? Ultimately, my trustworthiness comes out of a character that is being formed and shaped by God.

* Do I have genuine concern for others? Look for themes and patterns in your life that need to be addressed. For example, if the minister is passive aggressive with the elders and congregation, he probably shouldn’t be surprised if his credibility begins to erode.

* Am I competent? Or, do I tend to reply on manipulation, deception, and promoting my image. (See Peter Scazzero - The Emotionally Healthy Leader)

* Am I accountable? Who am I accountable to? Do I welcome this? Or, am I the person who thinks everyone else ought to be accountable but me?

* Do I have integrity? What am I like online, on the phone, when I text, etc. Who am I when no one is looking?

What You and I Can Become During This Virus

(Take away: 6 positive characteristics you and I can develop during the COVID-19 virus)

Perhaps it might be helpful for us to think about the way we want to show up at home and with others (even virtually). A few possibilities.

* You and I can be people of hope. Certainly, this is rooted in the story of what God has done, and is doing, in the world through Jesus. Could I be a person who communicates hope instead of despair to others?

* You and I can be intentional about finding joy each day. We can look for even the smallest moments of joy. Acknowledging these to one another can bless and encourage.

* You and I can communicate calmness. After all, your spouse and children will take their cues from you. Screaming and yelling will only heighten the anxiety that we already feel. This doesn’t mean that we don’t acknowledge or even absorb some of the anxiety of others. However, a calm presence can really impact a family.

* You and I can be adaptable. Everything does not have to be perfect. My perfectionism doesn’t have to rule the day. (Is this really the time, in this current climate, to fuss at him/her for not yet calling the house painter?) Adaptability means that we give one another space. We hold lightly some of our expectations and preferences. Sometimes, we just have to adapt and move on.

* You and I can be thankful. At a time in which the COVID-19 virus has completely disrupted our lives, choosing to be grateful for specific blessings can be huge. Yet, it is far easier to focus on scarcity and on what we are lacking.

* You and I can look out for others. It is so easy to focus on oneself and how you are being inconvenienced. I have found it helpful to call friends whom I have not talked to in quite awhile. This, along with sending notes of encouragement to others, has helped me get my mind off myself.

This virus and its impact upon the world and our lives personally is huge. This is the moment to be intentional and for us to show up to others in ways that are helpful and life-giving.

“Be a non-anxious presence. Even if you zoned out during your pastoral care class in seminary, you probably heard this one phrase. That’s because showing up calm, emotionally present, and free from anxiety engenders trust and provides the right kind of care in any crisis, from papercut to pandemic. For caregivers to show up non-anxiously means managing our own feelings, so we neither try to flee the situation nor flood it with our own emotions or anxieties. People will borrow our calm and compassion to assist them in reducing their own anxieties.” (Helen R. Campbell-Reed, “10 Guidelines for Pastoral Care During the Coronavirus Outbreak,” Christian Century, March 10, 2020).

Invest in What Matters

(Take away: 5 important investments that might make a significant difference in your life.)

I was nervous. I was having lunch for the first time with a former minister whom I had recently met. He worked as an attorney in a city a few hours from where we lived. Upon arriving at his location, he suggested that we eat in his office so that we might have more time to visit. He had ordered sandwiches. For almost two hours, we talked about life, ministry, challenges, etc. I was especially interested in how he was investing his time and energy for his own growth. I learned much that day. The lunch meeting was a blessing.

For years, I have been thinking about how I can invest my attention, time, and energy so that I can stay fresh and finish well. The following are a few investments that are important to me:

* Investing in my soul. Some of the disciplines I find helpful include Scripture reading, prayer, silence, journaling, reading books that nurture me, early morning time alone with God, etc.

* Investing in relationships. This list would include my wife, children, grandchildren, etc. I especially want to invest in relationships that are life-giving.

* Investing in emotional health. This includes being self-aware and acknowledging my emotions.

* Investing in life-long learning. I am intentional about my growth which can occur by trying to maintain my curiosity about life, other people, God, the Bible, etc.

* Investing in my health. Exercise and paying attention to my overall health impacts other areas of life as well.

The following video features Steve Hartman of CBS News. One way I invest in my own emotional health is by watching wonderful stories of kindness such as this video. You might consider watching some or all of these stories. For example, note the second story about a kind school bus driver in Dallas named Curtis Jenkins. A young boy in foster care said regarding this bus driver, “He’s the father I always wanted.”

Resources

* You might enjoy some of Steve Hartman’s other videos, including his “Kindness 101 class” for children.

* Some of you will enjoy Dr. Nathan Guy’s videos in the series “A Light in the Darkness.”

* See this fine article by Helen R. Campbell-Reed, “10 Guidelines for Pastoral Care During the Coronavirus Outbreak,” Christian Century, March 10, 2020.

* “The closer we feel toward someone, the less likely we are to listen carefully to them. It’s called the closeness-communication bias and, over time, it can strain, and even end, relationships.” Kate Murphy, “You’re Not Listening. Here’s Why” in The New York Times, February, 11, 2020.

Each Friday/Saturday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other church leaders as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

Jim Martin serves as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find him at God-Hungry.org. His e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what was encouraging or helpful.

What I write is intended to be helpful or encouraging to you. You will have to be the judge as to whether or not this is happening. Each “Encouragement Note” contains thoughts, quotes, and suggestions. At times, I will simply communicate what I have read or a podcast I heard.

I see myself as ordinary. As I write, I particularly have in mind other ordinary people - perhaps like you. If we were in the same room, the following is what I might share with you today. Many of us are just trying to navigate life in a whirlwind of challenges.

Each issue offers “The List of Five.” Maybe you will find a take-away that is encouraging or helpful. (In case you missed it, you just might enjoy the 2:28 audio clip above.)

The List of Five

* Are you focused on where you are lacking or are you focused on the opportunity to live a significant life?

What about you? Some people act as if they are disqualified from living a significant life.

* I’m too young

* I’m too old

* I don’t have enough education

* I don’t have an important job with a prestigious title

* I don’t make enough money

* I’ve made too many mistakes

* I’m retired

There are, of course, those who believe they will never live a significant life because they are ordinary. The truth is that God can and will use you - even you.

For years, I spent far too much time and energy focused on where I was lacking. For some reason, I felt like I just wasn’t good enough. I attempted to compensate by constantly trying to prove myself. Always taking another class, earning another academic degree, attending more conferences, etc. The problem is that I was attempting to fill a deep hole that I perceived to be within myself and consequently my ministry. Yet, I avoided dealing with the more profound and unsettling question:

Why do I feel like I am not good enough?

It was very self-defeating. Even today, I still have to stay on top of this. Do you relate to this at all? I suspect many of us do.

A few suggestions:

* Pray that God will use you to bless another person today. (Why not consider making a short list of who those people might be?)

* Be intentional about looking for even the smallest opportunity to do good. Leave the results to God. You be the one to initiate a smile, a conversation, send an encouraging text, etc. You be the one to do good.

* Forget the disqualifications that you impose upon yourself (such as those in the list above). Sometimes these are based on fear and timidity. You are cherished by God and he will use you far beyond what you might imagine.

* Start. What is the next right step that you could take?

* What Gracious People Do

Gracious.

Now I like this word.

Like you, however, I have been around some people for whom the word “gracious” doesn’t seem to fit.

It was a busy evening. This particular church was attempting to feed a lot of people. Volunteers had been working in the kitchen in their church building throughout the day to prepare for a big crowd that evening. Other volunteers had come the day before after purchasing food at the local Sam’s. Here were lots of people working together. Again, all were volunteers.

One couple came through the line. He complained because his portion was smaller than what he wanted. The person serving apologized and explained that they were trying to give small portions of this particular dish because they wanted to make sure that everyone got some before they ran out. The man was visibly displeased and muttered something about the volunteers needing to do a better job of planning. No thank you. No gratitude.

That is not graciousness.

On the other hand, I have known gracious people. For example, I witnessed one gracious man interact with people many times in social settings. He would never humiliate, embarrass, or in any way communicate displeasure over something like the above example. He spent his time thanking people and expressing gratitude to them for the work they had done. At such dinners, he often wandered through the kitchen complimenting people and thanking each person for their service.

Graciousness is reserved for people who recognize that they are privileged to receive what they have been given. Or as Fred Craddock once said, “The final act of grace is graciousness.”  

A few characteristics of a gracious person:

A gracious person is slow to take credit and quick to lavish praise.

A gracious person never seeks to embarrass another. Humiliating another is not in this person’s vocabulary. (Please don’t say something that humiliates another and then try to escape responsibility by saying, “I was only joking.”)

A gracious person is regularly thanking others. Do you go through an entire day without thanking another?

A gracious person doesn’t monopolize the conversation. This person recognizes that others have something to offer.

A gracious person doesn’t try to play one-upmanship. (“That’s nothing, you should have seen what I did!”)

A gracious person pays attention to other people. Sometimes people come away from such conversations saying, “He made me feel like I was the most important person at that moment.”

A gracious person desires to say what is appropriate. There is no redeeming value in emptying one’s mind of whatever fleeting thought has happened to land at the moment.

A gracious person looks out for the comfort of others.

A gracious person looks for the good. Maybe you are visiting a friend who lives in another place. Instead of pointing out the inadequacies of your friend’s community, you are constantly finding things that are good. “This cafe has outstanding peach pie! That was delicious.” “I just love the way you have planted your garden. It is beautiful!”

In so many of us, there is a genuine hunger to experience the beauty of graciousness. After all, this is nothing more than grace lived out. And — that grace originates in the heart of God.

* Thinking About . . .

* I am thinking about just how busy your life might be. This may be true especially if you have young children who are at home. Baseball, soccer, basketball, football, music lessons, theater practice, etc. On and on it goes. So many families are absolutely exhausted. There is little time to think deeply, feel deeply, or to just be present. As a result, we frantically work to keep up the pace while our souls are malnourished, our bodies tired, and our minds on “auto.”

* Look at the next three months of your calendar. Consider the ball games, the concerts involving the kids, the trips on their behalf. Think about the energy it might take to live at this pace. (Of course it is tempting to think that raw energy, adrenaline, and lots of coffee will get us through this.) The following questions might be helpful as you reflect upon the commitments on your calendar:

* What is scheduled that will nourish my soul?

* What is on my calendar that might restore my body?

* Are there habits in place that will refresh my mind?

* Do I have in place on my calendar opportunities for rest?

* Am I intentional about replenishing my emotions? If I am in a season that is difficult and challenging, am I intentional about scheduling something - even something that seems small, that will be a positive moment for me emotionally?

The Lord is my strength and shield.    I trust him with all my heart.He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.    I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.

The Lord gives his people strength.    He is a safe fortress for his anointed king. (Psalm 28:7-8)

* Learn to Listen

Years ago, Dr. Paul Faulkner talked with our class about the “neglected curriculum.” Basically, these were concepts and skills that people need but are not often taught. One piece of this neglected curriculum was “listening.” He told us that speech in its various forms are discussed and taught at school. However, it was his experience that one rarely learns how to listen. Nor, is listening “taught.” Later as I reflected upon what he said, I realized that I really wasn’t a good listener.

Recently, I read Kate Murphy’s book, You’re Not Listening. (See the excellent quotes below from chapter 12). I enjoyed the book and certainly grew from reading it. I want to be a better listener.

“Open, honest and exploratory questioning and the genuine curiosity and careful listening it presupposes can not only bring about greater clarity of what is on someone else’s mind it is also the very basis of intimacy. The questions can be as simple as “What did you learn today?.” Another good one might be, “What was the best part and what was the worst part of your day.” The more you know about and understand where someone is coming from the closer you feel to them whether they are loved ones or strangers.”

“Good listeners are good questioners. Inquiry reinforces listening and vice versa because you have to listen to ask an appropriate and relevant question. And then as a consequence of posing the question you are invested in listening to the answer. Moreover asking genuinely curious and openhearted questions makes for more meaningful and revelatory conversations not to mention prevents misunderstandings. This in turn makes narratives more interesting, engaging, and even sympathetic which is the basis for forming sincere and secure relationships.”

She goes on to say, “What is love but listening to and wanting to be a part of another’s evolving story. It is true of all relationships, romantic and platonic. Listening to a stranger is possibly one of the kindest, most generous things you can do. People who make an effort to listen and respond in ways that support instead of shift the conversation end up collecting stories, the way other people might collect stamps, shells, or coins. The result is that they tend to have something interesting to contribute to almost any discussion.”

(JM) This is helpful. Good listeners ask questions which help to support and bring out more. A question might ask for clarity. “What was that like?” or “What happened next?” On the other hand, some appear to listen but their comments shift from responding to what the person was saying to actually bringing attention to themselves. “That’s nothing. You should have seen what happened to us when we went on vacation last year.”

God is our refuge and strength,    always ready to help in times of trouble.So we will not fear when earthquakes come    and the mountains crumble into the sea. (Psalm 46:1-2, NLT)

On March 2, we had a new granddaughter, Elsie Maye, born to our daughter Jamie (and our son-in-law, Cal) who live in Oklahoma City. The second day of her life, I held her in the hospital room and quietly prayed for her. Days later, on March 13, my mother, Polly Martin died. She was 95 and lived in the Dallas area. I had been with her just a few days earlier. The last thing I did with her was to hold her hand and pray. I said to her, referring to her future, “Mama, its going to be all right.” She is now with the Lord.

In this birth and in this death, we are thanking God.

* Resources

* Nir Eyal on putting every single activity he does in his calendar. See also his post “Learn How To Avoid Distraction In A World That Is Full of It.” First heard him on Amantha Imber’s podcast.

* You may want to check out Maura Level Thomas’ article “10 Strategies for Managing Stress in the Workplace.” Note also her excellent info graphic in the same article.

* “Narcissism makes us less human. Eventually the masks meant to protect ourselves and ease the ache of our longings become the only faces we know” (Chuck Degroat, When Narcissism Comes to Church). See his website here.

* I recently become acquainted with Arthur Boers’ book, Living Into Focus. The subtitle is “Choosing what matters in an age of distractions.” (Forward by Eugene Peterson) I particularly appreciate his discussion of the six aspects of how technology affects us. These are: attention, limits, engagement, relationships, time, and space. His discussion in each of these areas is very good - pp. 73-74.

* I just spent a few hours re-reading parts of The Mission of God’s People by Christopher J. H. Wright. I read this book a number of years ago and was very impressed. Wright is an Old Testament scholar and an excellent communicator. This book is helpful and very “readable.” If you want to do further reading on the mission of God, you might also enjoy The Gospel of Our King by Bruce Riley Ashford and Heath A. Thomas (published 2019).

Each Friday/Saturday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other church leaders as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

Jim Martin serves as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find him at God-Hungry.org. His e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write.

I see myself as ordinary. As I write, I particularly have in mind other ordinary people - perhaps like you. In fact, if we were in the same room, the following is what I might share with you today. I am writing because I value who you are as a church leader, a business person, or simply as a follower of Jesus. Many of us are just trying to navigate life in a whirlwind of challenges.

Each issue will offer “The List of Five.” Maybe you will find a take-away that is encouraging or helpful. (In case you missed it, you just might enjoy the two minute fifty second audio clip above.)

The List of Five

These five have been on my mind during the last two weeks. Hopefully, at least one of these will be encouraging and/or helpful.

1. Study those who invest their lives well. This principle is valuable for men, women, mothers, fathers, ministers, church leaders, business people and others who are simply trying to navigate life. I have been positively impacted by various people who have navigated the following areas well:

* Emotional maturity. I know people who bring calmness and clarity into most any situation they are in. Whether in a meeting or conversation, they manage to keep from taking on the emotional anxiety around them. They invest well in their own emotional maturity. They seem to react very little or allow their own internal anxieties to control them.

Yet, when we don’t pay attention to our own emotional maturity, we may generate anxiety that will spread and even escalate the anxiety of others. “. . . if leaders neglect taking time to resolve issues, to plan, to understand each other’s thinking, or get themselves into anxious patterns, their relationships will generate unresolved anxiety that cannot help but spread throughout the congregation” (Roberta M. Gilbert, Extraordinary Leadership, p. 21)

Consider making your own list of five people who model emotional maturity. These are people who regularly bring a non-anxious presence to various situations.

* Spiritual growth. Who do you know who are normal, ordinary men and women and who nurture their souls well? Perhaps these are people who have tended to their own souls much like a gardener tends a beautiful garden.

I think for example of Liz Ziegler (Waco) who learned that she had cancer. She had nurtured her own soul for decades. Now her concern, upon learning this news, was that God might be glorified in her cancer. Perhaps nurturing spirituality involves ordinary, otherwise non-impressive service of some kind. Doing this kind of service is an investment in our own Christ-likeness. Note the list of ordinary people Eric Gentry mentions near the conclusion of a recent sermon in Memphis. (See the audio below at 19:00 time):

* Relationships. Think about the relationships within your own family. I was in the office of a friend. He had a child in college and one in high school. At the time, my own children were much younger. We had been visiting in his office and were about to leave for lunch. His wife called and they talked briefly for a few minutes. He asked a specific question about each child, indicating that he knew exactly what was going on in each child’s life. I was impressed with how well connected he seemed to be to each of them. I wanted to be that kind of father.

Can you think of people in your life who really seem to invest well in their relationships? Perhaps they are intentional about connecting with others.

* Soul Care

“Often, symptoms of soul neglect include self-absorption, shame, apathy, toxic anger, physical fatigue, isolation, stronger temptation to sin, drivenness, feelings of desperation, panic, insecurity, callousness, a judgmental attitude, cynicism and lack of desire for God.

Some symptoms of soul health would be love, joy, compassion, giving and receiving grace, generosity of spirit, peace, ability to trust, discernment, humility, creativity, vision, balance and focus. Even our energy for work emerges naturally from the overflow of a deepening life with God.” (Mindy Caliguire, Discovering Soul Care, p. 14)

2. “The World Needs Less of Your Opinion and More of Your Help.” (Carey Nieuwhof) I saw this posted recently and immediately connected with this sentence. If you pay attention to social media, you will find plenty of opinion and outrage. Instead, why not focus on how you might be more helpful to others? What if we spent less time and energy expressing outrage and more time being helpful to one another?

One of the most valuable gifts that we can give to another is our willingness and availability to help or bless in some way. Some possibilities:

* Offer a co-worker a hot cup of coffee.

* Send an interesting article or post to an acquaintance who has a similar interest.

* Help that person who is attempting to move all those boxes to the other office.

* Pick up a piece of trash from the parking lot at work or church.

* Text a business acquaintance or someone from church to just say “hello.”

* Send someone a picture of a mouth-watering dessert just because you know that seeing this would bring that person delight.

* Choose to smile at ordinary people doing their everyday jobs, even when you don’t feel like it.

* Give a genuine compliment to a person whom you might otherwise be tempted to take for granted.

Encouragement is not just about what others do for you but it is also what you might do for others. This kind of helpfulness not only blesses others but serves to shape us into becoming more Christ-like. Am I helping others in practical, hands-on ways?

3. Ministers/Church leaders/Church folks — you may be doing more good than you think! For example, showing up at funerals, weddings, and other special events can be a way of forming a first time connection with another or reconnecting with someone again. These events are often far more significant than we might think. It is not necessary so say anything profound or memorable. Simply being present and engaged in this moment can be so significant to another.

An older couple had just become a part of our congregation. The husband was a writer and had been much of his life. One day, I preached and he met me in our foyer afterward. He expressed appreciation for that particular sermon. He then told me about his son, an officer in the United States Marines who had been killed in Vietnam during the war in June 1968. He told me of the day in which he learned his son had died. The minister from his church came by and told him that “God has planted another flower.” That certainly wasn’t helpful. Others made unhelpful comments as well.

A few days later, he and his wife were at the funeral home for the visitation. People were in line to express their sympathy to them. He then said:

“I looked up and my old fishing buddy came in. He was wearing his bibbed overalls just like he did most of the time. He walked up to me and said, ‘I come to grieve with you.’ For the rest of the night, he stood close to me not saying a word. His presence was so comforting.”

Simply being present is a very important gift that one can give to another.

Likewise, don’t underestimate the good that you can do just by visiting someone in the hospital, going to a wedding, watching a friend’s child play a sport, etc. Your presence and engagement with others during these times can be such a blessing. As you think about the coming weeks, is there an event or occasion in which your presence might be important?

4. Manage your own functioning as a leader. (Including your functioning as a mother, father, business person, teacher, minister, etc.) The following video isn’t new but is is certainly good! Anyone who leads people would do well to listen to this 6 minute 44 second video. The message may be helpful to attempting to lead others in a family, church, or business. The focus is on learning to manage yourself (as opposed to managing other people or attempting to make others “happy.”)

If you wish to read something from Edwin Friedman, you might begin with his book, A Failure of Nerve. Perhaps a more “user-friendly” book with some of the same principles is Leaders Who Last by Margaret J. Marcuson.

5. Resources

* Second Half of Life Spirituality. Excellent presentation by Morris Dirks at the Bridgetown Church, Portland, Oregon. The presentation deals with getting ready for the second half of life. Very good for those of us in this season of life. Maybe even more important to listen if you are not yet in this season.

* Recently read a review of You’re Not Listening by Kate Murphy. I have now listened to much of this excellent book. Quotes like this got my interest:

“We like to think social media has broadened our horizons, giving us access to voices we would never previously have heard, but the way we engage with these voices is very superficial. ‘It’s hard to concentrate on the real world when you’re preoccupied with the virtual one,’ she writes, arguing in passing that journalists’ fondness for picking out and quoting Twitter and Facebook posts . . .”

* Consider this Beth Moore tweet posted recently. I read this a number of times. This made me think. "We need revival so badly. A return to the simplicity of wholehearted devotion to Christ. We're being seduced to negotiate, placate, dominate and manipulate to feed a need for self-importance that will never get full. All this wanting to be wanted just makes us feel more unwanted."

She then wrote, "God wants us."

* The brilliant physicist and Noble Prize winner, Richard Feynman, on dealing with the expectations of others: 

"You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accomplish.  I have no responsibility to be like they expect me to be. It's their mistake, not my failing." (Richard P. Feynman, Surely You’re Joking Mr. Feynman) (Thanks to James Clear for this reference.)

Each Friday/Saturday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other church leaders as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

Jim Martin serves as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find him at God-Hungry.org. His e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com.