And we are back… It has been a bit. I never intended to take a year off but life just continued to life. I’ve been navigating through a lot, but this episode has been sitting in my computer and the other day I said, “it is time.” This episode listens much more like 2 friends sitting in their living room having a conversation because that is exactly what we did. We had travel mics, you can hear her cat in the background, at one point Alexa chimed in and instead of editing all that out, I stuck with the theme of this podcast which is messy, raw and unedited; just like life. The audio is not the best but we worked with what we had and I feel this conversation may speak to many. Lauren is one of my best friends and an all around beautiful human being. She speaks about her mental health journey, talks about her experience in the modeling industry and what has helped her navigate through the chaos of the world. I cannot wait for you to listen to this episode!

The person I was a year ago and the person sitting here now? They feel like two completely different people. She’s still me, of course, but the growth I’ve experienced this year has been exponential—and let me tell you, growth isn’t always pretty. It’s been real—and by real, I mean wildly uncomfortable.

This year didn’t just challenge my definition of sitting with discomfort; it redefined it. And somewhere along the way, I learned how to be tender with myself in the middle of all the chaos. So here I am, with a whole lot of love and humility, sharing some of the lessons this year has handed me.

My intuition with this episode is just to give you a little peak into the ways the CPTSD can invade your life. Every! Single! Aspect of it! It’s invasive, it is distracting, it is loud and some days are really f*****g hard. Some days come with more intrusive thoughts than others. Some weeks one with more ideations than others. Some days one with stronger feelings of hopelessness and feeling isolated and alone. It is a journey that we have to learn how to navigate through and that’s why I am so grateful to Dani or created the Healing and CPTSD Foundation. She has created a hub for those of us living with CPTSD to go. A hub that includes community, support groups, tools, classes and the ability to show up exactly as you are share your lived experience with this disorder.

Please listen to this episode with an open mind and open heart. Share it with those you feel may benefit and check out the Healing and CPTSD Community Hub!

I don’t want to say too much about this episode, because you should really just go give it a listen! We dive into our journey’s, how the plant has been pivotal in our healing, the history and demonization of the plant and our favorites ways to garden. If you are new to this journey, curious or a regular gardener, this episode is for you!

A little about Jabria:

“Navigating the hazy world of cannabis can be overwhelming—I get it. I remember feeling lost, drowning in confusing information with no clear path. I wanted answers, clarity on where to find cannab*s and how to use it beyond the basics. The fear of being labeled a 'stoner' held me back, and I judged myself for my cannabis usage. I craved a community of like-minded individuals who understood the plant's power, even if the 'how' remained a mystery. Crafted Cannab*s emerged as the bridge between recreational and medicinal use—a space where I found my footing and canna confidence.”

Thank you for being so open and vulnerable, Jabria!

To all my listeners, thank you so much for continuing to support. It means so much to me. If you have been listening and this podcast has been beneficial or helpful for you, please leave a review, follow and share!

On this mini-episode I talk about how the nervous system creates its pathways and how we can crate new ones. It is through navigating through discomfort. This isn’t the kind of discomfort that leads to continued wounding and pain. It’s important that we identify the different kinds of discomfort. This is the kind of discomfort that leads to more peace, more regulation, more nervous system capacity. It’s the discomfort that leads to growth and healing. It is the discomfort that is so unfamiliar, yet so necessary.

Thank you for being here and for listening!

The thing is that, that’s not our responsibility. Love can be a healing force. Loving someone can be incredibly healing for them, but it can’t be the only healing force and other’s love for themselves or the desire to love themeless and heal for themselves (which then impacts the people around them) is one of the lasting drivers for doing the work.

As always, take what resonates and leave the rest. Thank you for listening and being part of the community!

This episode is pretty personal and vulnerable. It can be hard to admit the truth of your life sometimes. It can be painful to wrap your mind around what occurred and how that wasn’t the way it was supposed to be but it is the way that it is.

Reading bell hooks has helped me a lot when it comes to changing my perspective on what love really is. Love is an action. Sure, we can feel overwhelmed by the emotions that come along with love, but if you say you love someone and you turn around and harm them (sometimes we don’t mean to harm people, there is nuance here as always) then how can we learn what love really looks like and feels like. This has been something I struggled with most of my adult live up until a few years ago (and if I’m honest, I still deeply struggle with it from time to time). Let’s be realistic when you have spend over 32 years of your life being told that love is abuse and that people abuse you because they love you, it’s gonna cross some wires in your brain and body that are going to need a love of love, attention, compassion and work to rewire. So this is a micro moment of my thoughts on learning what love is as an adult when you grew up in an abusive home.

As always, take what resonates and leave the rest! I appreciate every single person who takes the time to listen to me!

In this episode we talk about Nykesha’s journey to the work she does today. Tips on how to raise anti-racist children, how this work affects her personally and so much more.

I’m honored to have her be my first guest. Make sure you give her a following on social media and subscribe to her Patreon. I can’t wait for you all to listen!

About Nykesha

Nykesha is a dedicated professional with over 15 years of experience serving children and families in both child services and education. With masters degrees in social work and psychology, throughout her career, she has worked to ensure the well-being and development of vulnerable populations. She is  a certified parent educator and doula, and has presented at multiple conferences, workshops, and online platforms on antiracist parenting and culturally responsive education. Nykesha is also married with two children, and maintains a  commitment to family and community which  drives her passion for creating equitable and supportive environments.

Where you can find her

Instagram

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Patreon

Give it a listen and let me know your thoughts!

If you listen to this podcast on apple or Spotify, I would absolutely love if you can take the time to give me a review! Thank you!

This episode has a somatic practice that help you to connect with and feel the more uncfomrotable emotions. The reality is that; our ability to feel the joyous and light-feeled emotions in life is directly correlated with our ability to feel our depths of grief and the shadowy emotions.

As always, take what resonates and leave the rest. I hope that you find something in this episode that resonates for you. Thank you for listening.

If you are someone who has a loved one who is in a situation like this, this may be beneficial for you. If you are someone who is in recovery or had experience with this, it also may be beneficial.

For the longest time, I thought I wouldn’t ever share this publicly because it is incredibly vulnerable and I know that once you put things on the internet, please feel entitled to have opinions to things you say even if you are just sharing your lived experience. Given how we continue to hear stories about DV and given the responses I see from people; it is so clear to me that so many people do not understand the nature and cycles of these relationships. I’ve done enough work to know that what people say have nothing to do with me, but please be so conscious of what you say to people around you regarding this topic as you NEVER know who ma be in an unsafe situation. Nobody knew accept for a few people who were close to me. Some people are very good at masking and hiding it. Part of what keeps people in the cycles, is shame. We see how people talk about us sriviros. We see how the abusers are almost already protected and defended.

This is my story, this is how I saved myself and what I have been doing to help heal. Thank you for being here and for listening.

Next week I will be sharing a written post on the impact of starting my day with a nervous system walk. This lead to me creating a Hot Girl Walk Playlist. I will be creating a monthly playlist. These playlists will range between 30 and 45 minutes and will take you on a journey with a warm up, brisker walking and a cool down. I wanted to give you something to encourage you to get up and out and move your body.

I hope this episode leaves you reflecting on your own journey and being able to give yourself more compassion, understanding and accountability. See you next week!

When we give ourselves space to grieve, we also give ourselves space to be messy, to be human, to experience the beauty of how love has had a place in out lives. I hope that this episode helps you to reflect on your own grief process.

So here we go!