In this installment we present tales of abduction experiences in past-lives, featuring

* Stone Age visitors, and

* The abductions of famous poets.

Warning: Not suitable for listeners averse to alternate realities or the humor impaired.

Brought to you by Offworld Cruises. The abduction experience of a lifetime tailored to your budget.

Offworld Cruises background …

IN THIS INSTALLMENT we present Misunderstanding God, featuring:

* - motes and beams,

* - a call to missions,

* - misquoting scripture,

* - the real meaning of karma, and

* - a lesson in tolerance.

Brought to you by Christanonymous: religion without a******s butting in.

In this installment we celebrate leprechauns and St. Patrick’s Day, featuring

* cheesy Irish movies,

* Leprechaun humor,

* green beer,

* the green rivers of Chicago,

* and a green beer hangover.

Warning: Not suitable for listeners averse to Irish jokes or the humor impaired.

Brought to you by Clovereefer: The luck of the Irish with infused with the joy of THC

In this installment we present Transhumanity, featuring:

Overhelpful chatbots,

Malfunctioning bio implants,

Implant shaming,

Implant envy, and

Genealogy

Warning: Not suitable for listeners averse to technological innovation or the humor impaired.Warning: Some sexual content and graphic language.Brought to you by Brainbot for those times you need the words you’re not smart enough to think of on your own

Brainbot background music by Timothy Kulig

In this installment we present a Vampire Valentine, featuring vampire puppy love, vampire romance, a sexist vampire valentine, a romantic vampire cruise, and a vampire valentines hangover.

Warning: Not suitable for listeners averse to bodily fluid exchange or the humor impaired.

Brought to you by Bloody Kisses. A little sweetness to add joy to the life beyond.

Bloody Kisses background music by Audio Coffee and Clavier Music

IN THIS INSTALLMENT WE PRESENT A Tough Nut to Crack, featuring

• a favor for a friend,

• a friend who deserves no favors,

• a nonstop drive from Austin to Oklahoma City,

• an awkward and unenlightening encounter, and

• skeptical police.

Warning: Not suitable for listeners averse to alien encounters or the humor impaired.

Brought to you by: Abduction Recovery

Abduction recovery music by Peter Barbaix

In this installment we present Resolutions, featuring

a moment of maturity,

cross purpose resolutions,

bribery resolutions,

corporate resolutions, and

belated resolutions.

Warning: Not suitable for listeners averse to taking responsibility or the humor impaired.

Brought to you by Regretaway for those unfortunate promises that sounded good when you made them.

Regretaway background music by Vera Miller

1. a new spin on Elf,

2. the angel Clarence screws up,

3. rethinking Santa’s competency defense,

4. the fourth ghost of Christmas, and

5. the little divorce lawyer around the corner.

Warning: Not suitable for listeners averse to holiday cheer or the humor impaired.

Brought to you by InstaNoel. Christmas in a can for not so festive occasions.

InstaNoel background music by Calvin Clavier

In this installment we explore well known proverbs and aphorisms, featuring penny wise and pound foolish, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, your attitude not your aptitude will determine your altitude, beggars can’t be choosers, and leading a horse to water.

Warning: Not suitable for listeners averse to wiseacres or the humor impaired.

Brought to you by Drownital. When you need to tune out those not-so helpful platitudes.

Drownital background music by Sergei Parkin.

In this installment we feature No Thanks for Thanksgiving, featuring Turkey Lives Matter, a holiday surprise, gratitude one upsmanship, the worst holiday casserole ever, and a passel of pissed-off gobblers.

Warning: Not suitable for listeners averse to family gatherings or the humor impaired.

Brought to you by RockGobbler. Because turkey lives matter. And so do plants.

Episode List:

Last Minute Reprieve

The Never-Ending Nightmare

Gratitude

Change of Plans

Turkey Shoot

RockGobbler ad music courtesy of Mikhail Smusev on Pixabay

In this installment we present the adventures of Nick St. Bohr, quantological detective, featuring a detective who solves spooky cases at a distance, a smoking hot client, a missing husband, dozens of suspects, and one unhappy client.

Warning: Not suitable for listeners averse to quantum phenomena or the humor impaired.

Brought to you by Quanta Clean, with new improved quantum foam for those hard to get indeterminate messes.

QuantaClean ad music by Zakhar Valaha on Pixabay

In this installment we feature an homage to H.P. Lovecraft, featuring monstrous tenants, exotic expeditions, stoned spirits, and eldritch elder ones.

Warning: Not suitable for listeners averse to creepy crawlies or the humor impaired.

Brought to you by: Ritual-Z, when youth trumps the age and wisdom of the old ones.

Ritual-Z background music by Oliver Dee

In this installment we send up superstitions, featuring Vaprognostication, misfortune, recursive misfortune, urban legends, and a final cautionary tale.

Warning: Not suitable for listeners averse to good sense or the humor impaired.

Brought to you by New Improved Shinolatol. Protection from misfortune waiting to happen. To you. A product of White Cat Enterprises.

Shinolatol background music by CyberwaveOrchestra

In this installment we feature I Was Abducted by Aliens in a Former Life, the first installment in a new series featuring strange lights, conspiracies, gestalt, and mysterious visitors from beyond.

Warning: Not suitable for listeners skeptical about life beyond our planet. Or the humor impaired.

Brought to you by: Abduction Recovery and Past Life Discount Warehouse

In this installment we feature the Wind Eggs take on Soap Operas, featuring nurses in love, romance in the OR, grieving relatives, recurring characters, and amnesia.

Warning: Not suitable for listeners who take their soaps seriously or the humor implaired.

Brought to you by LoveSubs, when you’re tired of friends and family asking why you’re still single.

In this installment we feature Old Time Religion featuring new churches in town, doctrinal and dietetic differences, church splits, missions, and more church splits.

Warning: Not suitable for listeners averse to diet conscious faith or the humor implied.

Brought to you by FaithFood because we know hunger isn’t always spiritual. In six faithful flavors.

The evangelist at this revival segued (which means lost their train of thought and wandered into another topic, much as Donald Trump does every two minutes) to the Beatles. And then to the song “Back in the USSR” which, according to him “glorified mother Russia and their communist atheist agenda.”

For those of you who don’t know the song (which should be nobody still alive), it’s a spoof of the Beach Boy’s California rock with lyrics such as:

The Ukraine girls really knock me out They leave the West behind And Moscow girls make me sing and shout That Georgia's always on My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my mind

Anyone current with music would’ve known that, but evangelicals’ view of hip music was composer Ralph Carmichael and Up With People. But the best part of the sermon, at least to my friend, was the line, “Believers, we need more Christian songs like ‘Oklahoma Hills.’”

In retrospect, I don’t know if my friend personally heard the sermon, heard it from a friend who heard the sermon, or passed on an apocryphal tale, but my experience with the bizarre claims made by evangelists made the story credible.

I’ll get to the punchline in a moment

Skip to ten years later, during my first marriage. My wife convinced me we should sign up as Amway distributors. It was understandable. We were pregnant, had just moved to East Lansing so I could become a TA at Michigan State, and we were broke. But the six-circles sales pitch and expensive soap products didn’t prepare me for entrance into a right wing cult that would help inspire the MAGA movement forty years later.

Our upline (the Amway term for the chain of people who fed products to distributers at increasingly higher prices, collected our money, and delivered the profits back upline after taking their share of the take) pressured us into attending a rally. The first of many, increasingly expensive, rallies where they would pry us loose of even more money for motivational books and tapes.

At this rally we were handed a songbook, and a music director led us in songs just like at revival. One of the songs was “This Land Is Your Land.” When we started singing I started laughing. All I could think about was that sermon about the Beatles and “Oklahoma Hills.”

The Punchline

(for those who didn’t see it coming)

Both songs were written by Woody Guthrie and Woody Guthrie would have never approved of the evangelist’s or Amway’s message. Nor would they have approved of his. Woody Guthrie was a socialist and anti-fascist. He’s the guy who fought for the rights of working people. And he hated Donald’s father, Fred Trump, for the same reasons he would have hated Donald. Both men were bullies who exploited everyone they came into contact with.

But this is typical of many MAGATS. They see the surface and never explore the underlying reality. So, I thought, with the Democratic National Convention starting Monday, I would reintroduce Woody to Donald and unwrap the reigning Republican candidate for a closer look.

It’s a familiar look, but suitable for a campaign ad.

Warning: Not suitable for the humor impaired or listeners in denial about their denial.

In this episode Wind Eggs offers Pulp Noir, a series of whodunits and whodidnts featuring murder, (organ chord) mystery, mayhem, missed opportunities and melancholy.

Warning: Not suitable for helicopter parents or the humor impaired.


Brought you by Iron Lung Cigarettes

brought to you by Saguaro prickly pear snacks.

In this installment we celebrate the Fourth of July with five tales of fireworks, festivities, baseball, and indigestion.

Warning: Not suitable for people who pay attention to trigger warnings or the humor impaired.

Host Phillip T. Stephens takes you an a science fiction fantasy featuring action, terror, thrills, chills, weed humor and alien invasion. Sponsored by Mary Jane's Munchies, allowing you to stay home and get zoned.