In that space is our power to choose our response.

In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

Viktor E. Frankl

I’m a latecomer to the wisdom of Viktor E. Frankl, an Austrian neurologist, psychiatrist, philosopher, author, and Holocaust survivor.

He was the founder of logotherapy, a school of psychotherapy that describes a search for a life’s meaning as the central human motivational force. A prolific writer, one of the most frequently cited of his works is the autobiographical Man’s Search for Meaning, a global best-selling book, based on his experiences in various Nazi concentration camps. It is an extraordinary read.

The W.R.I.T.E.R : My unconventional writing life is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

But it is his book Yes to Life, In Spite of Everything that has influenced me most profoundly. The title alone has immense power and significance. In it, Frankl states: The question can no longer be “What can I expect from life?” but can now only be “What does life expect of me?” Quite incredible questions when you look more deeply into his life and consider the roots of its content.

Now, I’m no knowledgable philosopher, nor a psychology expert. So I want to be clear that this essay is not an academic appreciation of Frankl and his methods.

But what I am is a human interested in understanding my purpose. I’m a bibliophile with an inexhaustible interest in learning. I’m also someone who has, unthinkingly until recently, followed the route of expecting things from life.

Whilst I don’t come from a privileged background, neither have I experienced true hardship or tragedy, yet I still had expectations of life — as did the vast majority of people around me. I was a young adult in the 80s and 90s, I felt I was, somehow, entitled — to a job, a home, a car, holidays - you get the picture.

It was very materially focused and I was very singularly driven. I was engaged with worthy causes but not deeply committed to them. It was the era when Corporate Social Responsibility was the newly competitive element in business branding and personal credit flowed freely funding an (in the long term) unsupportable lifestyle.

But living life with that mindset caused me problems — in relationships, in my mental health, financially - through poor decision-making and bad choices, and in my ability to stay on track when things didn’t go my way. I was ‘entitled’ after all - so why wouldn’t it work out as I wanted..? I was always chasing something, the next thing, life was a competitive existence.

Then, it all fell apart. Big Time. And for a long period I wasn’t in a good place at all.

So falling back on my natural comfort source — books — through reading and research I tried to identify and understand what was the cause of my dis-ease with life. Deep down I think I knew that one of the biggest problems was that I didn’t truly have self-respect or self-belief. Confident and even successful on the surface, below the waterline I was, let’s be honest, a Hot Mess.

Turning fifty, I had one of those epiphanies that changes everything when I found the book The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. I’ve written about the experience in my essay How Writing Saved Me.

It was through the magnificently simple Morning Pages that I was able to open up and explore myself. They were the catalyst to finding Frankl and his work, and the key to gradually unlocking the Me beneath the learned behaviours, societal conditioning, and the herd-follower mentality.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

Viktor E. Frankl

Over the last five years, I’ve taken many different paths to find out how I could live a better more respectful, and responsible life. Not all of them were fruitful, and often I’d find myself slipping back into old habits. I’m a definite work in progress, and will always be to some degree.

But, I have gradually found more of what works to help me be happier, healthier and a contributor to, rather than simply a consumer of, life. Most recently I was introduced to the concept of Human Design, and it felt like coming home.

I saw myself in my profile, and why things hadn’t worked in the past made a lot more sense. Turns out, I’m a Mental Projector. Intuitively, the expression of my character type — in all its flaws and genius — fitted with how my life had played out.

If you would like to know more about the background and concept of Human Design and get your own chart the JOVIAN ARCHIVE, the first and official site of the work of Ra Uru Hu, founder of The Human Design System is a good place to start.

I’m still learning and exploring the concept, but I’ve already made small adjustments in my daily life and the difference has been significant and positive. I’m looking forward to where it's inviting me to explore, it feels like an interesting path alongside other re-explorations of faith and spirituality.

No one solution, faith, or system can define us, nor should it, but the new understandings we gain of ourselves and how we can best interact with and participate in life enables us to live more fully and more authentically.

And, for me, that’s about finding the space between.

As writers and creators, we are often ‘encouraged’ to follow certain formulas, methods or styles. But I believe fervently in writing what comes, what needs to be written, that we shouldn’t edit as we go, all that can come later. Our words should flow without judgment, we should allow the raw and wild to spill out onto the page. Let go of expectation, be uncluttered by self-judgement, shut out the noise of life’s demands and clear the creative channels by making space in our homes, hearts, heads and schedules.

What will you make space for this year to allow the words to flow?

The W.R.I.T.E.R : My unconventional writing life is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.