Do you remember your dreams? Or do you simply awaken in the morning knowing that you dreamed but have no idea what it was about? Then, there are those dreams you can’t forget…ever. They stick with us and at times when we have a flash of a vision, we wonder if that was a fragment of memory from something that actually happened to us in our waking hours or was it from our dreamscape? Even in our sleep we dream and feel as if we are “awake” and moving consciously through our world. In our dreams, our consciousness continues to create and interact with dream figures and objects of our nether world just as if we were awake. We “wake up” in the morning and then transition into a different reality–one we call the “real world.”

Too often, we only remember fragments of our dreams. “What did that mean?” you ask yourself. Some people have great dream recall and with practice we can all have better recall of our dream world. This takes conscious intention and a routine that facilitates that recall. Keeping a notepad and pen by your bedside helps so that you can jot down what you recall immediately upon awakening. Don’t speak or get up because that wakefulness seems to erase our ability to recall our dreams. If you can keep your eyes closed, that is even better. Don’t worry about writing grammatically correct sentences. Just single words can help.

If we are lucky to remember our dreams or at least fragments of it, we feel as if we are informed somehow by our nighttime wanderings. Perhaps the dream experience might hold some vital information or solutions for our waking lives. Many discoveries and lyrics to songs have emerged from these nighttime wanderings.

Waking consciousness is just as obscure as our dreaming consciousness. We behave in ways that we don’t quite understand. We have feelings and reactions that seem to just come out of nowhere. What if we could unravel the origins of those moments and behaviors? Would we be able to discard what doesn’t work for us and evolve into a newer self?

We search to understand ourselves and others, trying to make sense of what is going on within us. What if we could AWAKEN enough to begin questioning ourselves? Often when we ask questions, we work hard to find the answers, but in this quest to AWAKEN, the answers are not as important as diving into the question itself. What other questions arise from asking the first question?

Answers are not that important in this exercise. The value is in the process of asking the question for it leads to additional questions that will help awaken us out of our waking sleep.

Following are some good questions to get you started. See what other questions arise from each as you ask yourself. I’ve provided a few examples:

* Who am I? (as a female, a sister, a friend, a lover, a mom, etc)

* Can I be Me? (Which “me”? Are there different aspects of “Me”?)

* What do I want? (Why do I want that? Will it make my life better? Who taught me that it is desirable to have?)

* Where will I go?

* Who will go with me?

* Why was I born?

* Do I have a purpose?

* Why do I react the way that I do?

* Why do certain situations make me feel the way that I do?

* How can I prepare for what lies ahead?

* What am I missing?

* Am I missing anything?

* How can I reach my highest potential?

* Are there tools that I can learn to help me to evolve and uncover the authentic Self that lies within?

* What would it mean for me to live from my AWAKENED SELF?

Although we generally don’t ask these questions of our dream world, if we were to do so, our dreams could lead us to creative and satisfying solutions that we know came from our own inner wisdom. For example, explore the people and objects in your dreams. You put them there because it’s your dream. When we dream of people we’ve known, do we dream of them because we miss them? Or is there a deeper meaning to be discovered?

If we look at the people and objects that we’ve inserted into our dreams, by seeing them as metaphors or symbols that represent something about us, we are one step closer to hearing our inner voice. What do they represent? What are their characteristics? How are you similar to people that you placed in your dream? How are they acting in the dream? How is your current behavior (or feelings, attitude) similar to that? We dive deep into our psyche to find meaning.

Being conscious that our dream is a dream while we are still physically asleep is a characteristic of lucid dreaming. We wake up in our dream—we are conscious and aware that we are in a dream—yet we remain physically asleep. We are lucid because our awareness is similar to our waking state and it is what we refer to as being conscious.

Being lucid in your dreams allows you to work within a different reality where the rules of how the world works bends and we discover that time and space no longer constrict our abilities to know things and to be comfortable in the world. We can travel anywhere instantly, even to other planets or into outer space, cruising the galaxy. We can travel to different realities and meet up with people who we know have died and have conversations with them. We can fly. We can shape shift. We are super beings.

How can we have more lucid dreams? During the day we can ask ourselves, “Am I asleep?” Doing this habitually, when you enter your dream world when you sleep, you will likely ask that same question again. That is the time when you can “wake up” and become lucid in your sleep. Another tactic is to notice anomalies that only happen in your dreams. For me, one recurring anomaly in my dreams is that when I try to turn on lights by flipping the switch, no lights work. If I can question, “Is the electricity off?” I may have a chance to realize I’m in a dream and then do what I most enjoy in my lucid dreams…I fly! Another cue is that I find it almost impossible to read in my dreams and if I do, the words keep changing. I remember one dream when I looked up at a theatre marquee, and the title of the movies being shown keep moving and changing so I couldn’t read it. It was almost like an electronic theatre marquee but it was the old fashioned type with letters inserted to form the words. I was aware enough in my dream to recognize, “I’m in a dream!” So of course, I ran down the street trying to fly! It was great!

In a sense, we are beckoned to Awaken to both of these worlds—our dream world and our world when we are physically awake. To awaken to the messages of our dreams teaches us that these symbolic messages of the unconscious can inform us in a way that lead to creative solutions, greater happiness, and more peace in our lives.

To Awaken to our daily reality would teach us to make more conscious choices that result in the kind of reality that we desire because we have come to understand the impact that being unaware has had on our lives.

As we learn more about the cartography of the psyche, we use consciousness to determine how the pieces of the puzzle fit together. We “see” that there are factors that impact the reality that we experience and we begin to use our tools to reshape our perceptions, which in turn, impact our attitudes. These changes in perception and attitude help us create realities that are closer to our desires.

We begin to trust our choices in the world because we are aware that too often we are reacting instead of responding to situations. Reactions are knee-jerk habitual behaviors, while responses are thought out with conscious awareness. We learn that our unconscious behaviors are often distortions or perceptions that are fueled by our past experiences or pain or trauma. They fueled our emotional reactions and prevented us from consciously responding to subsequent situations that are similar.

We learn to be, rather than compulsively applying definitions to our experiences. You know this one…”You know those people! They’re all like that!” We learn to appreciate and take in what is happening in the moment, the NOW, allowing us to see the world as through the eyes of a child—untainted and unencumbered. We stop applying our stories to what is happening and realize that the soul cages that we live in are not locked. We need only to open the door. The handle is on the inside.

Music Credit Acknowledgment:

https://uppbeat.io/t/rahul-popawala/north-indian-alleys

Somehow, that always gave me a feeling that if there was anything that I was not really happy about in the past year that we were closing out, that that part of our lives would not follow me forward into the new year if I thoughtfully sorted out the wheat from the chaff. I could count my blessings for the lessons I’d learned from whatever occurred because I knew I had grown somehow.

If I consciously examine my life as I close out the old year, I can mindfully choose what I want to take with me and what I want to let go of…well… then I’ve done something good for myself.

Today we are on the cusp of that time once again, at least according to the Gregorian calendar. It’s not Chinese New Year, but it is a new year. It’s a time when we can look back and learn from so much that has gone by during that time. It’s a time for us to take the time so that when we enter into 2025 mindfully, we have our eyes wide open. I don’t think this refers to any of the political drama that we may have witnessed or the tragedies that unfolded over the year, but that we take a personal look at our lives and what we are creating and living out.

Some things I think about are basic discoveries that I’ve made about myself that I would like to alter or evolve. This has to do with little tendencies that I may have to focus on the negative when there’s so much positive around me. When I focus on the negative, my whole world is colored by that mood, those thoughts and those emotions, so why do I do it? Habit. Peer reflexive habit. If there’s one thing I hope that I am learning, it is that when I do act out of habit rather than consciously, that I catch myself and correct myself at that point. It’s a goal anyway.

So what do I want to leave behind? This is a great time to contemplate that.

The best part about looking forward, however, has to do with what I can hope to create in the new year! What is most exciting about this time of year for me is that now I can focus on the future and imagine and visualize what I want to create in the coming year. I don’t want to think about the things I don’t want to carry forward with me into 2025 nor do I want to focus on any fears that I may have that I may inadvertently manifest in the coming year. I want to focus on creating what I want and need.

So this time allows me to dream big and challenge myself to grow in many ways. Whether that is creating music, art, making new friends, having new adventures, reading new books, learning new skills, trying new foods, or anything to challenge myself to grow, I’m grateful to have this opportunity to actively create my world. Who will I want to share my world with? Those that brought me down or those who lift me up? Do I want to just live the same old routine life or do I want to create new adventures and experiences? It’s all a choice.

I’m excited for it to happen. How about you? What will you create for the coming year? What will you leave behind?

A useful exercise to solidify this process is to write all this down, put a date on it and put it somewhere safe so you can reread it again at any future point to see if you are on track or not. Make a list of those things that you want to leave behind that no longer serve you. Ask yourself, “What lessons did I learn from that experience?” Then make a corresponding list of those things that you do want to create for the coming year. You can even take out some art tools and draw images about what you are leaving behind and what you are wanting to create. Take this time for yourself as we move into the new year. And have a great New Year…dream big…be safe and create a mindset that serves you.

Namaste 🙏🏼

Dr. Sharon

Music Credit Acknowledgment:

https://uppbeat.io/t/rahul-popawala/north-indian-alleys

Today, when people couple up, the chores and responsibilities of running a household tend to be more evenly divided, negotiating who will do what and who is most prepared to tackle any particular task. The healthy path to deciding who can and will do what is to have the conversation about it. Simple enough…yet, how many today openly discuss these issues so that there is some clarity in the maintenance aspects of a partnership? Too often we find that when it comes down to day to day living, we fall into the old standard patterns of gendered female and male division of labor roles. How do we rise above unconscious adherence to gender roles and break free from habitual patterns that don’t fit our unique lives and situations? How did we get here in the first place?

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There are so many perspectives from which we can explore this idea. Social forces of the day, gender expectations of the era, whether we grew up in a religious household and depending on the religion, we learned that certain behaviors were taboo. Then there is peer pressure, family, cultural and societal expectations slapped onto each of us without consideration for our unique personalities. But that’s not all. There are also forces that impact how we see the world and therefore the behaviors we deem as representative of who we believe that we are. We label ourselves as having certain qualities and not others, and consequently paint ourselves into a corner where we may find it difficult to be spontaneous or flexible because “we aren’t that kind of person.”

How do we come to adopt the characteristics, mindset, behaviors and perspectives that we have? We might say that we were born this way, or we made a conscious decision along the way that we adopted a particular way of being. Either way, are we conscious, aware and awake to “who we are”? And do we stick to these ways of being even when the situation demands for flexibility in our responses? What if we took the conscious step towards unmasking ourselves, taking the time to examine what fits and what doesn’t fit us anymore. What worked in the past may not work today. Remember, the only constant in life is change. When we become aware of patterns of behavior that don’t seem to truly reflect the Self that we are trying to unfold, how can we change? Can we come to a place of acceptance and balance for what may be one-sided in our personalities?

Awareness helps. Carl Jung described the collective unconscious, that part of the unconscious that we all have in common because we are all humans and have inherited the patterns of behaviors that we would describe as typically human. We are not like cats or dogs, but our similarity to other humans cannot be refuted. On some level we are all capable of what we witness in others behaviorally.

Jung described our human propensities as collective in nature, similar to our human physical form. One need only observe the vast differences in appearances and behaviors, but we can all recognize them as being typically human. Jung called this our psychoid inheritance. I would refer to them as a variation on “memes,” perhaps—they are stereotypical behaviors that fit a word or two that characterize a particular way of being. For example, a “worry wart” or “control freak” bring certain images to mind, complete with behaviors, emotions, and ways of thinking that fits the pattern. If we want our authentic Self to emerge, it would help if we can step back and observe ourselves. You may be surprised that you too are acting-out these patterns unconsciously, especially when we are stressed or feel backed-up against a wall.

So archetypes are typical human patterns of behavior awaiting activation that are stereotypical in humans. You’ve seen it and experienced it throughout your life. The archetype is not activated until the circumstances constellate as such to call forth the archetypal pattern to life. An archetype is a predisposed way of being, patterns of behavior that we expect to encounter at some point in our lives.

Think of being a young child. We looked forward to becoming a teenager. Then as a teenager we couldn’t wait to cross the threshold into adulthood. What did we hold in our imaginations about what it would be like when we advanced to that stage of life, inherent with the behaviors and actions that we all tend to expect from people in those stages? These stereotypical patterns of behavior relate to the roles we assume. For example, there are typical roles we may assume in life such as becoming an employee for the first time, advancing to become a manager, becoming a girlfriend or boyfriend, a husband or wife, widow or widower. What will it be like? How will we feel, act and respond?

We’ve all been through it. We might not have a clear memory of the experience, but the experience is imprinted on our psyches—what Jung called our psychoid inheritance. Similar to inheriting genes that express themselves to form our humanlike structure, we also inherit psychological “memes”—the archetypes that make our behaviors human. Ways of being. Stereotypical patterns of behavior that we all recognize, such as being the boss, a wife, a husband, a sister, a brother, a son, a daughter, a friend, a co-worker, an employee. The list goes on and on. There are as many archetypes as there are situations. How will we act when we take on a new role or advance in age to a new stage in life?

For now, think of all the new experiences you had after you were born and how much you learned in the process. An archetypal situation is one wherein you walk into it for the very first time in your life. You are a virgin in that respect. As a baby you learned to turn over, crawl, stand, walk and then to run. Each milestone was met with a fresh heart and you did your best to imitate what you had observed. One way that we learn is through our observations and unless we now look back at how we have adhered to typical patterns of behavior, we will not be able to reach what Jung called Individuation—that state of being wherein we have awakened and looked within and back at our lives to see how much of it was a conscious one. Did we just do what we were expected to do, sort of mindlessly going about our lives without having asked ourselves some hard questions about what we really wanted in life? Did we avoid situations because it didn’t fit our “image”? Have we pushed down different parts of ourselves because we wanted to fit in? Did we stifle our individuality because we wanted to fit in? Think of yourself and the experiences that you had when you found yourself in a brand new situation that you’d not encountered before in your life. How did you feel? How did you behave?

With awareness we can enter into situations and not get seduced by the archetypal expression of that role, but temper it with our true nature. I may have advanced to become a boss, but what type of boss will I be? Can I still be effective yet maintain my individual ways of interacting with those who were once my peers? That is the task of the Awakened Self in a new situation…to put on the garments and mask of the role perhaps, but to not wear such a rigid demeanor that we lose all sense of who we are when we are in that role.

~ Namaste

Dr. Sharon

Music Credit Acknowledgment:

https://uppbeat.io/t/rahul-popawala/north-indian-alleys

Thanks for reading The Awakened Self ! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Or are you able to take that split second and step back and observe the situation in order to experience it fully, without preset filters of protection? Are you able to rest in your awareness and allow the situation to unfold so that you can make an informed response? You know the difference. A response requires that we use our higher power of reasoning and thinking to fully take in the situation so that our words and behavior reflect a conscious response instead of an automatic reaction. Easy to say. Harder to do.

I think this year is an especially stressful time, given the uncertainty that we all face in the coming years, but the holiday season brings with it its own unique stressors. It’s a time that many look forward to, and to others, a sense of dread overshadows the air. Will we be able to gather with our families? How will everyone get along? Will there be family drama as we gather together again? Will we all fall into our usual scripts or family roles? What about presents? Yes or no? Can we afford the holiday expenditures and giving? How can we move through the season with less stress and more peacefulness?

There are proven methods that we can all use to achieve a calmer mind. The following ideas form a do-it-yourself paced path to train your mind to spend less time haunted by the past and beating ourselves up for what we “should have done,” ”should have said,” or wondering “why, why, why?” These methods can also calm your mind so that you don’t spend so much time worrying about the future. Planning our future is one thing, but worrying about it only causes our present time to be filled with anxiety and perhaps dread.

When we understand how consciousness works, we learn ways to tame it so that it doesn’t run away from us into the past or future. We learn that our current consciousness is formed throughout the process of living: our experiences, perspectives, biases, preferences, outlook and attitude all contribute to how we know the world today. How do those elements that form our consciousness grow and change over the years and is there a way for us to mindfully become aware of the content of our consciousness? Would this awareness help us to become more present in the moment so that we can feel more alive and in control of what goes on in our minds?

Labeling Experiences

As we grew from infancy, our vocabulary grew. Language allowed our species to advance and dominate the earth. Words help us categorize and label things, feelings, events, people and such, bringing a sense of continuity to our lives. The danger lies, however, in identifying with the words we use with the people, places, things, and events that we label.

We might remember something as “scary” or “extremely upsetting” that happened long ago, yet remains with us to this day. When we encounter something similar to it today, we tend to apply the same label to this new situation again even though that was in the past and this one is in your current experience. Along with the labeling we use, our physiology floods our brain and bodily systems with the reactionary chemical cocktail that translates into convincing you that this too is a scary situation. This is useful in some situations, but what happens when we apply our negative expectations to new situations because they are similar to past negative experiences? We are already primed to react as if we are actually being threatened again. This does not allow for a “fully experienced moment” because we have already determined that it is “scary” or “extremely upsetting” and we miss our chance to truly experience what is happening in that moment and engage in a response that is more current.

Too often we identify the things or situations with labels formed in our past. Although these labels are helpful, they also limit our thinking. In his book No Boundary, Ken Wilber described how the words we use make up the maps of our lives. The words we use may describe things for us, but they are not the things themselves. They are simply the names and labels that we’ve used to identify things and situations. They form a belief system that we apply unconsciously to our encounters. We must remember, however, that the map is not the territory.

The territory is simply labeled by the mapmaker–-us. For example, think of any names or labels others have used to describe what they think or feel about you. Are they all accurate? Are some of them demeaning? Does this imply that those descriptions are the truth? Too often, we feel that our beliefs and labels are the truth. Again, the map is not the territory. We need to exercise mindfulness and awareness of the present moment to awaken our consciousness to a higher level.

The hologram can help us to understand the nature of consciousness and thought. All “realities” are there, enfolded and waiting to unfold. When focusing upon one aspect of reality, other realities “fall away”. Yet if we are to reconsider and peer once again into the possibilities awaiting discovery, our previous notions of a situation or reality can be broadened to include all that comes to us. We don’t have to cling to one interpretation or the other. This gives us the opportunity to just see “what is.”

Our pre-set responses to the world have to do with the assumptions that we hold about the world. We expect certain outcomes or we apply particular definitions to events, feelings, or actions. We have good and bad categories that we apply, therefore some things are seen as being favorable to our lives while others are marked as unacceptable. Human experience is a process rather than a stagnant entity. By allowing ourselves to let go of what our ego is trying to convince us of, we are able to come into full contact with all that is. When we do not apply the preset labels to life, we are more able to appreciate the fullness of each moment. We take it in as it is, not as we have believed it to be. We enter situations with an open mind and heart.

Growing Our Awareness

John Welwood wrote, “If you ask yourself how you are feeling right now, the first sense you may have is ‘I don’t know. I’m not sure.’…Learn how to follow and stay with what is still unclear in our felt experience…let it unfold and reveal itself to us. A felt sense is a wider way our body holds or ‘knows’ many aspects of a situation all at once—subverbally, holistically, intuitively. It is concretely felt—in the body—as a sense—something not yet cognitively clear or distinct. It is not yet clear because it contains many aspects of the situation –it needs to be ‘unpacked’ or ‘unfolded.’ Contacting and unfolding the wider felt sense of a situation we are in often leads to important therapeutic changes.”

Quantum physicists tell us that what we see as our “real” world is but the unfolded reality that we have formed. Our reality is based upon the ideas we hold about what is so and how the world works. The potential for other “realities” exist within the enfolded order. There are always many possible interpretations or viewpoints in any given situation. The enfolded reality contains all those possibilities. The unfolded reality is the one we settle upon as being OUR reality.

Mindfulness meditation helps us achieve a greater expanse of conscious awareness by allowing the enfolded realities to reveal themselves in a process of unfolding. Instead of jumping to conclusions, we rest in awareness and allow the reality to unfold. When we don’t apply our own “storylines” or expectations to situations, we allow for the situation to become. Can you see how this alone can alleviate stress that we are feeling?

Jack Kornfield reminds us, “When you meditate…you take all the ego energy and are drawn to some inner place which then stimulates the unconscious. States beyond the ego suddenly arise. The mental training (of meditation) emphasizes…the factor of mindfulness that arises in relation to mental feelings, experiences, without getting caught (up) by them. As that mindfulness grows, it also has the function of deepening samadhi which is not just the samadhi of withdrawal, but samadhi of being very present in daily life moment to moment. Samadhi is a state of equanimity where the intellect goes beyond its normal function of discrimination. This in turn, loosens one from his or her physical body. If mindfulness or awareness is cultivated first, then the mind becomes prepared in a natural way for more difficult exposure to the unconscious.”

In Journey of the Heart, Welwood wrote, “The practice of mindfulness meditation…involves sitting straight, following the breath, and letting thoughts come and go, without trying to control them or direct them in more pleasant directions. As soon as we give up control and let ourselves be in this way, the confusion of churning thoughts and feelings may become more noticeable. When we observe our thoughts we are able to get at what is driving us. We get an intimate sense of the areas of our life where we are afraid, fixated, or grasping too tightly. Meditation provides an opportunity to let this confusion arise and be there, rather than, as therapy does, trying to sort out the confusion.

“Gently bringing our attention back to the breath helps keep us from getting lost in the chaos of thoughts and feelings. We can let the confusion arise without identifying with it. We learn how to ‘keep our seat,’ how not to get thrown or carried away by the wild horse of the mind, but rather to stay alert and keep riding no matter where the mind may go. In so doing, the mind begins to slow down (the horse gets tired!), and we get glimpses of another way of being. Instead of being driven and carried away by our thoughts, we can begin to tap into a deeper, wider awareness. It allows us to see how we are driven by fear, from the uncertainty about who we are amidst the constantly changing flux of life. Meditation provides an opportunity to directly experience how we keep trying to manufacture and hold onto a fixed identity”…(The meditation process)…focuses not on personal issues, but on the nature and process of mind as a whole…it provides a space where we can let ourselves be and thus discover our basic nature (beyond all our stories and problems).” (Welwood, 1983)

Be Kind to Yourself

Maitri is a kind of friendliness with ourselves that is not conditional in any way…instead of trying to get ourselves to live up to how we think we should be, maitri involves accepting ourselves unconditionally and allowing ourselves to be human. Too often we berate ourselves for not living up to our self-expectations or expectations that others hold for us. We want more, we expect more of ourselves and don’t know how to just let ourselves “be.” Perhaps this comes from the constant push we are given throughout life to always better ourselves, to be all we can be, to discover “who we are.” It sets us up for frustration and disappointment. Is it possible to have maitri for ourselves?

Fighting with our feelings only gives them a greater charge of energy, and thus more power over us. If we can make space for whatever feelings arise, allowing them to just be there allows us to become larger than them. It’s not that we ‘rise above them’ but we stretch ourselves to include them. When we can include pain in our lives, it no longer has such a hold over us.

Even when we are confronted with aspects of our personal self that we try to hide, is it possible that we can incorporate these characteristics into our sense of wholeness? Whenever we reject a part of ourselves, we have to numb ourselves in order to ignore its presence, but the numbing process is not selective. As we numb ourselves to one feeling, other feelings get dampened down as well. Thus avoiding pain consequently keeps us from experiencing the fullness of real joy. Numbing is numbing.

Higher consciousness is part of a spiritual movement. When we tend to the nature of consciousness we learn to listen to the soul. We hear ourselves from the inside and find our own truths instead of seeking our truth outside of ourselves or from the external world. Kornfield stated, “…(S)piritual movements (don’t) care that deeply about psychological health. They see it as a passing show. Neurotic symptoms were not necessarily symptoms of disease but rather manifestations of a functional person who now questions seriously the nature of life.”

In summary, meditation and mindfulness can help us achieve a more accepting attitude towards ourselves, others, and life. When we are able to ascertain how consciousness works, we are able to expand our awareness to appreciate and savor each moment that we are given.

Namaste

References

Kornfield, J. Dass, R. & Miyuki, M. (1983). Psychological adjustment is not liberation: A symposium. In Awakening the Heart: East/West approaches to psychotherapy and the healing relationship. pp. 33-42. Ed. John Welwood. Boston: Shambhala.

Welwood, J. (1983). On psychotherapy and meditation. In Awakening the Heart: East/West approaches to psychotherapy and the healing relationship. pp. 43-54. Ed. John Welwood. Boston: Shambhala.

Adapted from the original article published 11-25-23 entitled, “Handling Stress”

Music Credit Acknowledgment:

https://uppbeat.io/t/rahul-popawala/north-indian-alleys

Thanks for reading Dr. Sharon’s Substack! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Halloween is almost here and so many people are excited to get their costumes together and for a night, to be someone or something else. It’s a great tradition and allows our alter ego to shine. Maybe we even celebrate for a few days leading up to the big night, but we know that it is simply a costume and that we are still ourselves underneath the wigs, clothes, props and masks we wear for this holiday.

What does it mean “to wear a mask?” Traditionally, on Halloween it was believed that the veil between this realm and that of the dead is at its thinnest. Masks were worn to disguise us from being recognized by the souls that return from the dead that evening and to possibly scare them off.

Ironically, we all wear masks everyday of our lives. We dummy down and modify our natural self in order to fit into the situations we are in, but is your mask painted on or do you wear a stiff mask that totally hides who you are? I think of Jim Carrey in The Mask and how the stiff wooden mask transforms into a mask that is pliable and painted on. One totally hid his face while the other transformed his character into an alter ego of him.

So what type of mask are you wearing? The wooden one, or one that is adaptive but pliable enough to reveal who you are? Why do we feel compelled to wear masks and what does that say about the reality we are living in when we don certain masks that we feel help us adapt to the situation we are in? Why do we feel the need to cover up who we are or how we feel, or to dampen down our natural self? It’s normal and natural to do so and most of us learned to do this as children.

As we grew, certain behaviors brought us either the response we wanted or taught us that it didn’t work. Others reactions and responses to us help shape how we present ourselves or what we choose to hide from others. You know the feeling. We repeat those behaviors that brought us what we wanted and suppressed those that resulted in punishment. Our choices either brought us praise or perhaps criticism so we learned to act in certain ways so as to bring out the responses we wanted. In doing so, how often did you have to suppress your natural self? When we do that often enough I think we lose our connection to that core self, having covered it up with different masks and costumes that we thought we should wear.

There are also those situations that were scary, anxiety provoking, or arousing that taught us reactionary physiological arousal that fuels our behavior. These physiological reactions are out of our conscious awareness and in a stimulus response pattern, we get triggered by something. Certain scents, visual cues, sounds or stimuli can bring on immediate fear in some or bring us to tears of sadness or even joy. We make connections between certain stimuli that we associate with a fearful situation or reminds us of something we didn’t like in the past somehow.

This type of conditioning primes us for reacting with the same emotion when we find ourselves in a similar situation in the future. The anxiety that unconsciously governs our “reactions” throughout our lives are useful in many circumstances, but when we get triggered in relationships because the situation reminds us of past trauma, that is when we need to awaken to this connection. Unless we become mindful of those associations, we will continue to react, instead of responding in the moment. Leaving the past where it belongs is not only vital to our thinking patterns that lead to behaviors, but we also need to change those reactions so that we don’t color the present with the emotions of the past. Easy to say. Harder to do.

When we become aware of those connections, we are empowered to effect change in our lives. As humans, we possess consciousness that allows us to step back from our reactions to observe what is happening. This elevates us above other animals in important ways. This faculty allows us to make changes to automatic behaviors and reactions that have become ingrained in our repertoire. It may not be easy to break these connections, but it is possible.

If we are to emerge from our conditioning to allow our authentic self to be uncovered and discovered, we need to examine what roles we might be playing and ask ourselves if those roles are functional for us anymore or are they outdated. In fact, awareness of those roles allows us to examine the nature of any particular role so that we can begin to live more consciously. We can shed those roles like garments we’ve outgrown or simply alter those garments to fit the times. Another way to put it is that we can wear these “roles” like costumes but not forget who we are underneath that facade.

Can we dare to dive deep within to see if we are truly in touch with our inner voice or are we simply conforming to behaviors we believe are correct because that is what we have learned? What might have worked for us as children had to evolve if we were to fit in as we grew up, yet even as adults we find ourselves entangled in our roles, feeling we have to be as we have always been. A woman who is in a committed relationship may feel that it is her “role” to assume certain tasks for the family. The same is true for a man. But how can our individuality survive if we live lives ruled by ideal roles or models instead of discovering and living from our core?

As our circumstances change we are faced with a new “role” to “play” or mask to put on it seems. When our children were small, our responsibilities as a parent were to guide and protect them, loosening those reins as they grew. When we coupled up with another after being single, our behaviors evolved from flying solo to flying together. We had to adjust. But at what cost to our authentic self do we pay if we wear these new roles unconsciously, assuming that is who we are now?

We learned that we’ve needed to modify our behaviors depending on the situation and the mix of people who are part of it. Sometimes we’ve had to dampen down certain tendencies we have because it didn’t “fit” the circumstances we were in in that moment. At other times we are called out of our comfort zone to be more outspoken or outgoing—to extravert—or to be less so in other circumstances—to introvert.

In this way, our behaviors become patterns and oftentimes slip into our unconscious lying dormant until the events in a situation call forth the need for those behaviors again. But what happens when we want to change? What do we keep and what do we discard? Do we discard former behaviors or reactions or would it be better to just modify them? When we are faced with transitions in our lives, these are the types of questions that emerge.

For example, if you choose to stop drinking alcohol, will that alter what you do for recreation or who you hang out with? Or if you get a promotion, how will you relate to your former colleagues who you must now supervise? Or what happens when you have children who are now parents themselves? How does your “role” evolve from parent to grandparent? Will you find your role models in your own parents or grandparents, or will you create your own version? We have to remove the masks to reveal the authentic Self within if we want a real soul connection with others. When we connect on a soul level, we are not only honoring the soul of the other person, but we feel seen and honored as well.

When we are upset, we put on a number of potential masks that we have stored in our emergency closet. Will it be my Tough Child mask I feel compelled to wear this time, or is it the Desperate Child mask that takes over? You know the two different masks: the Tough Child mask says, “I don’t need you! You can’t hurt me. I am fine by myself and can carry on my life without you!“ And then you also know the Desperate Child mask who pleads, “Please don’t leave me! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean what I said! I promise I won’t do that again…“ Why do we find it so hard to find our true feelings and then to express them? Why do our defenses cause us to make excuses, or rationalize, or deny what is? Can we become quiet enough so that our inner voice can be heard?

That inner voice is the Self that needs to be seen and recognized. That inner voice is only wanting to glean the lesson for the experience and to awaken and live in the present moment instead of being dragged into the past over and over again. We wear those mask when in reality all we want is love. All we want is to be seen, heard, to be understood and shown compassion and care. So why don’t we just ask for it? Can we get past our defenses and reach down to let the inner Self express what it truly feels, wants and thinks? If we want to be heard at a soul level, we have to be in touch with our soul. That means we have to first recognize when we are using our masks as defenses, and drop the roles that we’ve learned that help us feel safe, and allow the true authentic Self to guide us. We can start by recognizing the masks that we’ve kept in our stash box ready to put on at the most appropriate moment, and with courage, step forth into a more fulfilling and soulful place to allow our souls to be known and seen. We have to get real with ourselves and that’s not always easy. In fact, I don’t think it’s ever easy!

~ Namaste

Music Credit Acknowledgment:

https://uppbeat.io/t/rahul-popawala/north-indian-alleys

Our early years serve as the foundation when our development can unfold and blossom, or whither and stunt our potential. We know that without the presence of specific types of interactions, we are likely to develop an anxious/ambivalent or avoidant attachment style with our caregiver, leading to impaired interpersonal functioning as an adult. These factors include: 1) collaborative communication; 2) reflective dialogue; 3) repair; 4) coherent narratives; and 5) emotional communication. We will cover these factors later in this article.

Can I See You?

As infants we need the essential physical care of food, shelter and warmth, but in our interactions with our caregivers, we learn to be a particular type of person. We learn valuable social skills like attuning to others. That implies that we can empathize with their situation and can express this to them. It allows me to walk a mile in another’s shoes so that I don’t just see the world from my own point of view. Attunement also implies that I feel seen and heard, that it is ok to have and share my feelings which gives me the capacity to empathize and feel compassion for others as well.

Additionally, as infants, we need eye contact that helps us feel safe and seen in our world, we need comfort when we are sad or not well, we need to feel that our feelings are real and that we feel understood. These types of interactions help us learn to not only know ourselves but also helps us understand the mindscape of another person.

Why Don’t I Feel Seen?

It’s unfortunate that some children are reared in environments where their needs are met with impatience, weariness, frustration, or abuse. What a child learns when these negative types of interactions are repetitive and consistent is that it is not safe to have feelings or needs. This stunts our capacity to have successful relationships because we do not develop secure attachment in these situations. Likely, this leads to either an insecure/ambivalent attachment style or worse, an avoidant attachment style.

If you grew up in a less than caring and loving environment, you may feel some recognition with my ideas. Have you had relationships that just don’t seem to satisfy your needs or desires? Have you felt frustrated and unheard? Do you find it hard to express your feelings, or do you have difficulty being able to even identify your feelings?

Relationships are so complex, but there is a way to assure that our contribution to a partnership is positive and forward thinking if we will take the time to examine our own psyche. When we understand that there were circumstances not within our control as we grew up, we can begin to unravel the web that has us caught in the repetition compulsion of dysfunctional cycles.

No wonder that so many people have relationship challenges! Too many people grew up without the type of attunement that they needed to grow and evolve into their potential for health, happiness, and fulfilling relationships. In fact, according to some figures, about 97% of all people come from dysfunctional families! This helps us understand the challenges we face when it comes to good relationships that are filled with mutual respect, appreciation, caring, loving and trust.

What Is Attunement?

Attunement requires the five essential factors listed earlier in this article. Let’s go over what those five factors are.

Collaborative communication - This refers to such aspects as eye contact, facial expressions, tone of voice, bodily gestures, timing, and intensity of responses between the caregiver and child. One can imagine the double messages that can interfere with healthy development of a child’s core consciousness when body language reflects a far different message than the words being spoken. Resonance between the caregiver and the child creates a connecting environment that supports the development of a number of domains in childhood such as social, emotional, and cognitive functioning.

Reflective Dialogue—This is when each person in the interaction verbally shares what their focus is in the interaction or describes her internal experience. Sharing of this perceived meaning in the mental state of the caregiver, involves emotions, perceptions, thoughts, intentions, memories, ideas, beliefs, and attitudes. We attune to others, and then provide our own meaning to the situation, which helps our children learn the social skills of attuning to others, helping them develop empathy. Reflecting upon the situation also helps children to make sense of their own internal experience as well.

Repair – Repair to disruptions in a relationship is healing. When there are breaches to the relationship, the efforts towards repair helps children understand that misunderstandings are simply a part of relationships. A child learns to make sense of disruptions and to create a sense of meaning by understanding one’s own and another’s mind.

Coherent Narratives – These types of narratives form an autobiographical form of self awareness that includes both positive and negative memories. Coherent narratives provide a tool for living that helps us better understand both our internal and external world. I see this as a form of storytelling about our lives. Large gaps in our narrative can indicate incoherence due to non-integration of our experiences. When we leave out parts of our story, we likely have shoved it into the unconscious where it may be hidden from our sight, but likely colors our interactions and perceptions.

Emotional Communication – This type of communication involves both the sharing of positive emotional events as well as negative emotional states without emotional abandonment. Children need to learn that although they or others may experience negative emotions, the relationship is such that the caregiver will stay engaged emotionally with the child.

These five factors are essential for fostering secure attachment when we are children that leads to the ability to interact in relationships with honest sharing without fear of being abandoned. It also fosters the ability to “see” into the other person’s mind and emotions.

When our relationships don’t work out, we begin to wonder what is wrong with us? What did I do? What didn’t I do? What could I have done differently? Why did this happen to me? We blame ourselves because we just can’t get others to do what we think they should do to make things better (this is codependency). Or we blame ourselves because we expressed our feelings or needs and it caused an outbreak of chaos to occur. It’s a vicious cycle.

Attunement teaches us the experiences we need to develop the capacity for happy, fulfilling relationships. Without these experiences with others while developing, our brain is “off line” in key prefrontal cortex areas that need to be developed through attunement with others so that we can BE “in tune” with others. If we didn’t have those experiences, we never learned it. If we can’t attune to others, we won’t be able to pick up on their emotional states and address them accordingly. We may come off as being unfeeling, uncaring or narcissistic. Additionally, without the right kind of attunement growing up we are at risk of undeveloped prefrontal cortex functions that are essential for our mental health.

Nine Functions of the Prefrontal Cortex

The brain has been studied extensively. The focus on the prefrontal cortex has revealed some of the important functions it serves, especially as it relates to interrelating. The following list shows us how important the prefrontal cortex is to interrelationship health:

* Regulates the body (heart/lungs)

* Attunes us to another (how does it feel?)

* Balances our emotions (valenced states) between pleasant situations, and unpleasant ones that can induce states of stress, anxiety, or irritation.

* Has the capacity to extinguish fear by damping down the firing of nerves associated with fear.

* Gives us the ability to pause before acting (gives us response flexibility)

* Provides insight into self-knowing awareness (past-present-future connection)

* Allows us to be empathic and to create maps of another’s feelings in our mind

* Gives of the capacity for morality (think about compassion) and to focus on social goodness

* Involved in interoception, or one’s perception of the internal signals from our body. Also is directly correlated with the ability to have empathy.

Developing Mindsight Skills

It’s unfortunate to learn that this may be what is preventing harmony in our relationships. It wasn’t our fault, but can we remedy the situation and how? Are we doomed to remain the same or is there a path to healing the undeveloped aspects of our brain that will help us develop what Dr. Dan Seigel calls Mindsight?

Mindsight means to see your mind and not to just have one. If we monitor and modify the mind we can develop a stronger mind. Mindfulness techniques help us regulate emotions and behaviors. In children, this equates to increased empathy, decreased bullying, and helping with attention deficit problems.

Developing Mindsight skills changes the physiology within our brain, allowing for better emotional regulation and more attuned communications. As we are learning, the plasticity of the brain is a lifelong process and not just limited to when we are young. With the development of greater Mindsight – to be more objective, more observant and more open – the areas of the brain that were not sufficiently integrated will develop connections that allow for a more coherent narrative, and therefore a greater response flexibility (responding instead of reacting) and more complexity of behavior. This integration of the different areas of the prefrontal cortex of the brain leads to the rewiring necessary for greater Mindsight and thus more satisfying and harmonious relationships.

Mindsight can be facilitated through meditation. Meditation and mindfulness training helps us to be aware of our awareness, aware of our intention, and also stimulates the neurons to change the brain and strengthens the integrative fibers of the mind. I’ve listed a few references below that you might want to read to better understand attunement and Mindsight.

Namaste

References

Ng, S. (2013). Breaking the code of codependence. San Jose, CA: Wu Chi Creations.

Seigel, D. (2010). The mindful therapist: a clinician’s guide to mindsight and neural integration. New York: W.W. Norton, & Company, Inc.

Seigel, D. (2011). Mindsight: The new science of personal transformation. New York: Bantam Books.

Seigel, D. (2012). Pocket guide to interpersonal neurobiology: An integrative handbook of the mind. New York: W. W. Norton & Company, Inc.

Music Credit Acknowledgment:

https://uppbeat.io/t/rahul-popawala/north-indian-alleys

Thanks for reading The Awakened Self ! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Many of us can remember using that phrase, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me!” We felt protected by that phrase. When kids called us names, we could shout out that phrase and feel that we had diffused the effects of what they had said. Like magic, we had turned hurtful words into nothing. Wasn’t it great being a kid?

Fast forward to today. Science has revealed that there is a definite connection among all aspects of our being. Over the years we learned that words did hurt us. Maybe they didn’t cause any visible physical damage, but what about our feelings? It didn’t take us long to learn that those hurtful words did have an effect on us, after all-- words DO matter. We think that words matter because of etiquette and social intelligence, so we choose our words carefully when forming our ideas to express. We know on an intuitive level that the words we use will either have a positive, negative, or neutral effect, depending on the audience and circumstances. Which words hurt and which ones heal? Is there a way to tell the difference?

Not that long ago, it was believed that the body and mind were separate with no crosstalk between the two. As researchers began diving deeper into consciousness research, there was a revival in the field of psychology as it originated in the late 1800’s. That early research focused on exploring consciousness, seeking to understand its functions and structure. Researchers hoped to better understand the nature and structure of human thought, but the methods used required a subjective approach, resulting in limited hard data. Psychology as a discipline was in its infancy and strived to become a science among peers, thus consciousness research was essentially set aside to make room for other approaches, like behaviorism, that yielded more hard data.

Research in the field of Energy Psychology has broadened how we view consciousness. We are energy. After all, we measure “life” by brainwaves and heartbeats—both of which are facilitated by the chemical and electrical nature of our physiology. Traditional treatments for human conditions, such as mental imbalances or physical ailments, are met with little pills that are chemicals synthesized to interact and hopefully, to alleviate symptoms within the body and mind. Some treatments have and are using electrical impulses, or shocks, to regulate bodily systems. Think of how the heart is shocked back into rhythm using electrical currents, or how in the past, electroconvulsive therapy was widely used to “shock” a person out of their depression or behaviors that were considered abnormal. It is not surprising to find medicine cabinets filled with various chemical concoctions prescribed for various conditions.

In 2004, I attended a conference in Santa Monica, CA where a number of consciousness researchers gathered to discuss the implications of the film, What the Bleep Do We Know? The speakers at this conference consisted of quantum physicists, molecular biologists, psychologists and a water researcher. They discussed the nature of consciousness and reality and the power of the mind to actually affect the world around us. I encourage all of you to watch the film to discover the secrets of consciousness revealed in “What the Bleep Do We Know?!?!?!” This is a link to that video:

What The Bleep Do We Know?

One of the speakers was the late, well-known molecular biologist, Candace Pert. Dr. Pert taught at Georgetown University and was the person credited with discovering the brain’s opiate receptor sites which are responsible for endorphin production. In one of her books, The Molecules of Emotion, she wrote that our emotional states create a chemical cocktail feeding that emotional state. Our altered emotions are mediated by the neurochemistry in our brain and bodies. The interactions between the body and mind are referred to as the ”bodymind” connection. The term indicates that we cannot separate the body from the mind because of the interactive effects between the two. What we do to our bodies affects our mind. Conversely, what we think about impacts our bodily functions and therefore, health.

Molecules of emotion are everywhere throughout the body, not just in the brain. The combination of the neurochemicals secreted when we experience our emotions are similar to different cocktails, and their syntheses create particular mental states. At the biological and physiological level, our brain forms neural connections that wire together. Neurons that wire together, fire together. When these same emotions are repeated over and over again, we become “addicted” to that chemical rush. Like addicts, we somehow create circumstances that activate the cascade of chemicals, satisfying our craving for the moment. We become predisposed to repeat those emotions again and again in similar circumstances—a reactionary pattern if you will—a habit.

Our emotions trigger our subconscious personalities through this interaction of neurochemicals and our focus of attention. The body acts as our subconscious mind because our bodies become used to the neurochemical combinations produced whenever we experience any emotional state. Like an addict, this produces a need for future release of the same chemical combinations so we can get our “fix.” In the film, What the Bleep Do We Know, Pert discussed the effects of our emotions upon the neural networks established in the brain. The more we feel or allow an emotion to arise, the stronger the connections become in that neural network.

When we allow past experiences to color the way we interpret the present situation, we strengthen the neural connections that keep us in compulsive behaviors regardless of whether the emotions are appropriate for the situation or not. This suggests that if we are to overcome negative emotions, we have to break the cycle. We have to take action to prevent that neural network from firing through our conscious intervention of the process. We notice it arising and stop it in its tracks, becoming the observer rather than the actor. Similar to what I have described in previous articles, we learn to not add stories to what is happening and try to just see it as it is. To Be in the Now. We step back and observe. If we do this often enough we can diffuse the neural nets that are activated during those types of situations. We react less and are primed to respond instead.

Another strategy is to laugh. Have you ever noticed that you cannot be mad and laugh at the same time? Laughing is a wonderful way to diffuse any situation and serves to break the negative feelings, emotions, and behaviors that we tend to repeat. It is also a way to build your immunity. In chi kung practices we are taught to laugh out loud as part of our exercises. It’s quite liberating!

When we laugh, meditate, use imagery for healing, listen to certain types of music, or simply say loving things to ourselves, we are affecting the body-mind towards well-being. When we can create a blissful state of consciousness, we are feeling a surge of endorphins. Endorphins create a bliss state. We experience a lack of separation from others and instead experience feelings of union. Prayer, meditation, and affirmations affect consciousness and the molecules in the body-mind. Pert said, “I know forgiving myself and others for errors of the past allows me to heal.” Verbal imagery, affirmations, music are all used for psychosomatic wellness.

This leads me to Dr. Masaru Emoto’s water studies that were introduced in the film, What the Bleep Do We Know?  Emoto’s work suggests that our intentions, or thoughts, may affect the macroworld. Water is essential to life as we all know. Our bodies are about 70% water as adults, thus Emoto’s research regarding the effects of thoughts, words and music upon water is important to our knowledge about the bodymind connection. Our thoughts and words carry vibrations that are recorded in water—our bodies, in other words.

Too often the words we use and hear are literally spoken without thought. How many times have you blurted something out only to have to eat your words and apologize? What affect did those words have on the listener? Some words make us laugh while others can make us cry. Do the words hurt us or is it the delivery of those words? Are we just too sensitive or is there real power in the words that are spoken to us? Do they hold some power to affect us, and if so, how?

Dr. Emoto started with water because water is life. It cures. The properties of water are also different. When water becomes solid it forms ice crystals. As with snowflakes, no two crystals are the same. Water is such that if we put ice into water, the ice actually floats. Other solid substances in nature do not have this quality. When something is heavy or solid, it tends to sink in water, but not so with ice. Information, thoughts or words, are energy. Water has the ability to record vibration.

With these ideas in mind, Emoto decided to test the effects of words on water. He taped words that were either positive (e.g., “love,” “thank you”) or negative (e.g., “hate,” “you’re ugly”) to bottles of distilled water. In other studies, he exposed the water to different genres of music (classical vs hard rock). After 24 hours of exposure to these various words, pictures and music, he froze the water to see if these conditions had any affect on the crystallization of the water molecules. Strangely enough, the water did respond to these stimuli. The effects were that the positive words, pictures, and classical music resulted in beautifully formed crystals as seen under the microscope. The water that was exposed to negative words, pictures, and hard rock music failed to develop crystals and instead looked dark, murky and misshapen.

Even polluted water that fails to form crystals can be made more “pure” by exposing that water to more positive words, such as “thank you” or “love.” When the water was refrozen and filmed, this time beautiful crystals formed. He also exposed water to classical, Celtic and hard rock music, each having a different effect on the water’s ability to form crystals. Watch and learn about his study here:

Emoto's Water Study

The implications from the results of his work reminds us that we need to be more aware of what we expose ourselves to: the people we hang out with, the thoughts that we have, the movies we watch, the articles we read, the music we listen to—words, thoughts, music. We are affected by the words of others at a molecular level. We are affected by the music we listen to at the molecular level. We are affected by the things we view. As one of the actors stated in the film, What the Bleep Do We Know?!?!?, “if words can affect water in such a way, imagine what our thoughts must do to our bodies.” Give that some thought.

Namaste 🙏🏼

Dr. Sharon

Music Credit Acknowledgment:

https://uppbeat.io/t/rahul-popawala/north-indian-alleys

(This is an updated article, originally published 10-18-23)

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Death. Dying. Two different aspects of the same process. Dying is a process while death is the final result. What will it be like to die? Is there a way to make this passage easier? For both the person dying and the loved ones being left behind? Will our death be sudden or a protracted process? No one knows. Either way, there is so much to explore about these questions: 1) What will it be like to die? and, 2) Is that all there is? In other words, is it the end of our sense of who we are or does a part of us go on into an unknown territory? How can we possibly know the answers to these questions if we cannot ask someone who has crossed that border?

We are fortunate at this point of time when we do have some idea of what it might be like to die due to research into death and dying that has been ongoing for some time. We had Elisabeth Kubler-Ross who described the stages of dying: Anger, Denial, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. Her work helped us to understand what it might be like if learn that we are going to die or that we are going to lose someone to death. This only describes the stages that we will consciously go through however, but it doesn’t tell us if there is evidence of survival after death. It does help us to help others through the process of confronting death by providing a roadmap of what we may experience emotionally, and that is valuable in so many ways.

Then there was Ray Moody who wrote the book, “Life After Life” which was published in 1975. That book truly caught my attention and eventually influenced my direction in psychology in many ways. I wanted to know more and understand human consciousness and all that can be learned about it.

As a professor of psychology since the 1990’s, I developed and taught classes that explored various aspects of human consciousness delving into the roots (or history) of consciousness, explored the effects of in-utero experiences through the stages of the birth process and how the effects of each stage could explain later psychological difficulties or challenges as an adult. I read account after account of anomolies in consciousness that couldn’t be explained through the usual cause and effect models. Extrasensory perception studies by Charles Tart of UC Davis and studies recounted by Dean Radin took me deeper into anomolies of consciousness. Paul Pearsall, a heart transplant doctor, wrote of how transplant recipients often take on some of the characteristics and “consciousness” of the donor. I learned about the quantum nature of consciousness, taking me into the realm of quantum physics exploring the notions of entanglement, entrainment, the observer effect, Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle and more.

Since 1998, the Esalen Center for Theory and Research in Big Sur, California has continued to compile and investigate evidence that supports reincarnation and the survival of bodily death. There is a wealth of fascinating research to explore on these subjects. It gives us a bit of comfort to know about these studies and what they found about reincarnation and the survival of bodily death. Check it out at the link at the beginning of this paragraph and this link as well: Esalen Research Initiatives (I find pages 15-19 to be the most relevant to the topic of the survival of consciousness after bodily death).

This background has formed the basis of my understanding and direction for awakening consciousness. Dying presents us with unique experiences that may herald what death will be like. Death is finite to the physical body, but what about our consciousness? Does that suddenly cease when our body stops functioning? Will our consciousness change? Most of us have some form of faith to lean upon that provides comfort to the process of dying, but since most people don’t want to delve deeply into the topic of their own death, we simply avoid it. What if we could be assured that dying is perfectly safe and that there are others who can serve as a midwife to the dying process?

Midwives have assisted women in childbirth for millenia and it wasn’t until the early 20th century that doctors usurped the job of midwives and hospital births became more common. Yet, midwives provided a unique support system to the birthing mother. Today midwives are once again on the rise. So as a society we have supported expectant mothers by encouraging them to have a trusted person to be with them through the birthing process. Ironically, when it comes to support during the dying process, it has not been until recently that the need for a death midwife has become a profession. With hospice workers and death doulas, society is acknowledging that death is a part of life—a life event if you will—and not a medical event. If you have witnessed a death in a hospital setting versus in a hospice setting, you have seen the stark contrast of these two ways of being with death. Death is a process and when we can see it that way, we know more clearly what we need to prepare for that inevitable event.

Death doulas (a.k.a. soul midwives, death midwives), who provide compassionate care for the dying and their loved ones, are a growing profession. These dedicated people train to work with not only the dying person, but with their families as well. Death is a rite of passage, similar to childbirth when a soul is ready to enter the world. And just like childbirth, we need others to help us, to prepare, train, and go through the process of death with as much know-how and preparation as possible. Yet, this has not been the case in our society. Most deaths are relegated to the hospital or whisked away as soon as it occurs. Wouldn’t we feel more prepared for when death arrives if we have familiarized ourselves with what to expect, who we would like to have with us during the dying process, where we would like to be if we have a choice? To have a conscious death? We all need spiritual support as we face what is often seen as a frightening event. To be a soul midwife, or death doula, is just as valuable and necessary as the presence of a midwife at childbirth.

There is so much we can do to assist those in the dying process but most of us are at a loss as to what our role is when someone is dying. Do we cheer them on and tell them they’ll get better or can we be present enough to be with them as they know death is approaching? To just be and to witness the process? Would it bring comfort to the dying to have someone who is there to lend an ear, provide support, a compassionate presence—someone who holds a reverence for life, and an acceptance of death? Someone who can make a difference by acknowledging to the dying person that you know they are dying and are there to lend support, resting in loving awareness, in communion with the one who is dying?

“Working with the dying is like being a midwife for this great rite of passage of death. Just as a midwife helps a being take their first breath, you help a being take their last breath.” (Ram Dass & Mirabai Bush, 2018, Walking Each Other Home). How many of us have given this some thought? Have we thought about how we want to die? It’s a tough road to walk, isn’t it? The unknown scares us. Even if we do dare to embark on this path consciously, who would we share this conversation with and where would we start? Won’t others think we are being morbid if we start a conversation about needing this? What will it be like? What will we need? How can we know what will help us as we are dying? Who would we want with us to “walk us home”? Can we know what it is like to die?

So many unanswered questions, but we are fortunate that there have been many spiritual traditions that have done the leg work for us so that we are not totally in the dark. There are ancient texts we can consult and scientific research that has revealed different aspects of those questions we hold about death. Ancient texts, such as the Tibetan Book of the Dead, or the Egyptian Book of the Dead, both provide accounts of the death journey. In the Tibetan form, the term Bardo is used to describe the different levels of death through which we will traverse between this life and the next. As I mentioned before, the work of Kubler-Ross as well as Ray Moody provided some idea about what it is like to die and the dying process. Since then, consciousness research has grown and expanded through the work of so many: Charles Tart, Stanislav Grof, Fritja Capra, Michael Talbot, Joe Dispenza, Dean Radin and so many more.

Another area of research that can give us some idea of what to expect comes from research into Near Death Experiences (NDEs) by providing comforting, anecdotal evidence that consciousness does indeed survive bodily death. An NDE is the term used to describe when a person has clinically died (i.e., the heart has stopped and brain waves are no longer detected by conventional means), but has been resuscitated or spontaneously returns to the realm of the living. These near-death experiences have been reported throughout the world and through case studies we are learning that about 30% who have died and returned report having an NDE. Can NDEs inform us of what it will be like to die? Is it safe? What will we encounter? Is it like turning off a switch or does consciousness continue even when the body has died?

My former professor and mentor, Dr. Robert (Bob) Marrone, described in his book, Death, Mourning and Caring, that a near-death experience is a

“…loss of control of the body, and the mind is often experienced, as though the mind is taken to a special place, while the body is left behind. Movement of the mind occurs through darkness, or into a dark space, and then travels through a tunnel, or underpass filled with the bright light — a heavenly place filled with love and awe. Some people are allowed to enter the light, and some are not. The mind, then emerges into the bright light, where it is allowed to converse with people, or supreme being… in the midst of this light, escorts, in the form of angels or beings of light, accompany the mind in this phase of the near-death experience .”

Anita Moorjani wrote of her NDE in Dying To Be Me. Similar books, such as hers, have helped make the topic of death and dying a little more familiar for those on this side of death. These accounts tell us that there is nothing to fear and that death is perfectly safe. In fact, they serve as inspiration for how we can live our lives. She was greeted by her deceased father during her NDE, who assured her that she was perfect as she was and that his harshness and criticisms while he was alive were not reflective of his true feelings of love and pride he had for her. That had been the result of his cultural shaping.

She was able to let go of all the voices in her head that had told her she was not enough. After returning from her NDE, Morjani wrote that her feelings of guilt and shame that she felt before she “died” were released. She felt that her shame and self-criticism had fed her cancer. After she awoke from her NDE, her stage 4 cancerous ulcers spontaneously began to heal rapidly. Her NDE had given her a new awareness of self-love and self-acceptance that she had not had before her “death.” She now lives her life quite differently from before her NDE, continuing to share her story and bringing hope to others.  

As I have said before, life is “not a rehearsal.” Becoming more familiar with death paves a path for us that informs us of how we can live…NOW, while we are still embodied in our physical human body vehicle. We can’t keep putting off until “later” all the changes or adventures we hope to have in our lives. Can we learn to be in the NOW and live in the moment? Befriending death can give us the strength we need to live our lives to the fullest, to do the inner work that is required for us to truly free our authentic Self. Having lived with awareness, we can face our own death with courage and even some anticipation.

Feeling Called To Help

Too many people are left alone to die without the comfort of having someone hold their hand through the process…just being there, silent, as a witness to the transitional process of another’s soul. And what would we “do” if we are called to be that support person? Or should I say, how would we “be”?  I’m not saying we all have to become hospice workers or death doulas, but when we are faced with the death of a loved one, what shall we do? Run and hide? Swim in denial? Avoidance or ambivalence? Is it possible to help ease the process for others when they are dying? How can we help? Will it make a difference to them? To you?

To consider this, we have to do our own inner work to face our inherent fear of death. Doing our own work allows us to help others. Can we just sit and be with the dying who may be too weak to talk or just not in the mood to talk? There are lessons to learn from this choice—for us and the dying person. It is my hope that by sharing two of my personal experiences with the dying, that you will feel emboldened to “walk another soul home.”

As they were dying, I have been in the presence of two important people in my life. The first was my mother-in-law, and the second was my own mother. I went through the death of my mother-in-law first, which probably helped to prepare me for the death of my own mother.

When my mother-in-law was dying, my husband and I knew that the inevitable was approaching because she was in hospice at that point and the nurses had called to let us know we needed to be there as soon as possible, because death was imminent. We rushed to get ready to go to the hospice center where she was. When we got there, I noticed when we entered her room, that she was breathing heavily as if she were panicking. I called out to her, “We’re here, Mom! You’re doing good! We’re here!“ Her breathing immediately calmed down, and she began to breathe normally as we stroked her forehead and spoke to her. I had bought some vanilla scented hand lotion which was in my purse, so I knew that vanilla can be calming and proceeded to apply some of the lotion to her hands. She was not conscious but I knew she could hear us and was aware of our presence. As time passed, the rest of the family arrived and as the hour of her death approached, we gathered around her and the hospice worker played soothing meditative music. My mother-in-law, Ruby, slipped away after a couple of breaths. Her absence could be felt. Her body was still there, but her presence was gone.  

That was one of the most beautiful, significant experiences I have had in my life. After she slipped away, my husband spent some private time with his mother. He told me that he asked her, “Mom, I want you to show me a sign that you’re still with me.” Some weeks later we held a memorial for her. After her memorial, we left Mount Shasta and she truly did show us a sign. She visited us in the form of a rainbow as we were driving home through the Siskiyou Forest. 

Most people will find this story hard to believe, but this happened to not just me, but also to my husband and his son. As we were driving home from the memorial, we saw a rainbow to our east in the distance. All of a sudden, as we continued to drive down the road, the “end“ of the rainbow moved quickly across the terrain racing to a spot that intersected the road we were on. I watched as one end of the rainbow traveled over the land until we reached a particular point where the “end” of the rainbow planted itself just to the right of the road in front of us so that we had to we drive right through it. I could actually see the “end of the rainbow” on the side of the hill that we passed. Impossible? Collective hallucination? We all three witnessed it. After that, I’ve never doubted that one CAN see the end of a rainbow. Crazy? Or Divine?

Having had this experience with the death of my mother-in-law, I thought of my own mother and how it was likely that she would die before I did. Over the years, my mom and I had engaged in many deep discussions about her life, including our thoughts on death. Early in that process I began recording our conversations and I would purposefully phrase and present questions to get her exploring and talking about her life. Having studied the literature on dying and death, I encouraged her to explore and consider the prospect of death and what it might be like. No doubt I embarked on that recording journey because of my background in psychology and consciousness research, and to this day I am thankful that I did.  As part of those talks, I had assured my mother that if it was at all possible, I would be there with her when she died. I did not want her to be scared nor to feel alone. I was fortunate enough to be there when it the time came.

It was Christmas time 2018. My mom had not been feeling well and she was going downhill. By the end of the month she went to the ER because her back was hurting her. We thought she had a kidney infection. We were wrong. She was diagnosed with stage four cancer of the liver and lungs and she was given only days to live. I recall the doctor telling me, “It won’t be long.” My mom refused treatment and was ready to pass on from this plane of existence—ready to see her loved ones who had gone before her. My three brothers and I honored this and supported her decision. I stayed by her side 24-hours a day for the last five days of her life.

My mom and I spent New Year’s Eve together in her hospital room. The nurses had set up a single room for us. Throughout the night, I checked on her to see if she needed anything and advocated for her with the nurses (angels in disguise). I really wanted to talk to her that night, but when I asked her if she wanted to talk, she said, “No.” Although I needed the comfort of talking with her through this, I had to respect her wishes, so I cried quietly in the bathroom while she slept. I was losing my dear precious mom and as you can imagine I had to muster the strength to be there for her and to help ease her through the process. This was about her…not me.

We set up her apartment so that she could die in her own home. With my oldest brother, Roy, and Joanne, my sister-in-law, and a home health care person, we all tended to her needs for those last few days of her life. It was a surreal time. The first night home she sat up talking as if we were having a slumber party. She recounted some travels she had been on and seemed happy and cheerful. Then the next day she was not communicative. All I could do was talk to her, comfort her as best I could, and encourage her that she was doing well and to look for the light and head towards that. 

Hours before she passed on, she did respond to me out of her coma-like state when I asked her, “Mom. Watch over me, ok?” With her eyes still closed, she exhaled and said, “I will.” My heart melted.  I asked her to send me a sign that she was okay and suggested that it should be a butterfly. She exhaled again and softly said, “Ok.” Precious words. When her time came, the hospice caretaker turned her on her right side. A little while after that, she opened one of her eyes, shut it, a sweet smile appeared on her lips and then her soul departed.

And did she ever send me that butterfly sign? Yes she did! She kept her promise and appeared as a Painted Lady butterfly, that swooped in from our left as my sister-in-law, Trisha, took a picture of my brothers and me in front of my mom and dad’s headstone! We only saw a butterfly fly away as the picture was being taken, but later when we were driving home, I wondered if the butterfly had been captured in one of the photos. It had been!!! Because of “Live Photos” on iPhones it showed a butterfly swoop in, fly over my mom’s name and landed on one of the orchids we had placed into the urns on either side of the headstone. She didn’t want to be left out of the picture. Sweet.

Luckily for me, I had decided long ago to make audio recordings of her sharing her memories and stories so that I could write about them with some accuracy one day. I so value my collection of audios of my mom talking about life and more. It’s a family treasure. I highly recommend to all of you who still have someone living that you treasure, to interview them, and get recordings of their stories — a living history if you will. You could even do videos. I wish I had done more of those. There is so much to learn from this storytelling. It also provides a sense of peace and continuity to life for having not only telling their story, but to have a witness to it all. I sense that recounting our stories provides an updated perspective to our lives that helps us to let some of those stories go. It is making peace with ourselves as a part of preparing for death.

And the grief that follows is a time to nurture yourself and to allow time to help your heart heal. Contrary to American ideals of “getting over it” in a short time, I feel that the Greeks were more astute about the grieving process. They expect that it will take more like five years to grieve.  I agree. When we suffer loss, we have to allow for our new world to emerge and settle into a form that still includes our loved ones who’ve passed on. Our relationship to them changes into a more spiritual form and our communications become internal dialogues. It’s a new way of being for us and maybe that is why we need to allow ourselves at least five years to get our feet planted firmly on the ground again.

Namaste 🙏🏼

Music Credit Acknowledgment:

https://uppbeat.io/t/rahul-popawala/north-indian-alleys

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What are you thinking about right now? Are your thoughts on the moment or are they ruminating about the past? Is your focus trained towards the future? There is little argument that human minds are filled with what William James called our “stream of consciousness.” Do our thoughts have anything to do with what we call our reality? In other words, do we somehow create our own reality and if so, how? Let’s look at this…

What is reality? Is it already “out there” waiting to be discovered by our senses or do we play a part in creating the reality we perceive? Does it matter what I am focusing on and am I aware of how those thoughts and moods affect me?

Is it possible to create change in our lives simply by thinking differently? What if we considered that the filters we use to see the world—the beliefs that we hold about others and ourselves, both positive and negative—actually impact our mind, bodies and spirit? When we catch ourselves in a negative thought, we can counteract those effects by developing a counteracting affirmation—a positive affirmation, if you will. We can begin to be kinder to ourselves. So if I catch myself saying say to myself, “I’ll never be able to do this” I will stop myself, say “Delete that!” then say something to counter that earlier thought. I could be my best friend and say to myself, “I am confident and competent. I trust myself.” That is so much more gentle.

Each day we are learning more and more about the interconnection between our thoughts and our health, both physical and mental. The simple power of suggestion, whether it comes from ourselves or from another, can serve to alter our physiology for better or worse depending on how we engage with it. Do we buy into it or do we get angry, hurt, or sad?

We have more control over our health and body than was once believed. It is clear that the mind and body are not separate as dualists believed, but that our mind and body share an intimate relationship of interconnection. Dualism, or the belief that the mind and body are separate, does not accurately describe what we now know. Knowing of the important role that we each have to achieve health and well-being may require us to think differently. If we take a pro-active approach to achieving good health and well-being, we empower ourselves. It’s up to us to train our minds to be thoughtful and positive. When we see the interconnected nature between our body, mind, and soul, we become more mindful of what our attention is focused upon.

We are an integrated system. All aspects of self are interconnected. Have we erroneously believed that there are multiple and separate parts making up the whole of who we are instead of viewing the gestalt, the totality of who we are? We are so much more than the sum of our parts. Western medicine has made great strides in understanding the mechanics and physiology of being human, but in our eagerness to know and understand we seem to have forgotten to reassemble what we have taken apart or dissected. We are a system. When we look at what this means, we begin to see the importance of exploring how we can and do influence our reality.

When I worry or become anxious about the future, I signal to my “system” to go into hyperdrive. That causes my blood pressure to rise and my heart to beat faster. Cortisol is released and my autonomic nervous system prepares me for self preservation. But if I focus on more positive ways of seeing the situation, a different physiological response is summoned and my parasympathetic system maintains a calm composure with less stress to my body. Less stress, better health. It’s as if what we suggest to ourselves, or our beliefs, creates our body’s ability to respond depending on what we are focusing upon.

And we can’t forget the power of suggestion. The self-fulfilling prophecy implies that our beliefs often drive our reality. If I believe in my abilities and have confidence in my competence, I will act accordingly. If I believe what others tell me when they are being negative or critical, I can find myself walking that path too, Which do I prefer? The former seems like a better life.

We need to stay conscious of what we are thinking or saying, or what comes blurting out of our mouths. Being mindful of our focus can lead to feeling more in control. It is our mind that takes us here or there. By making it a habit to consciously train our thoughts and words towards what we want, instead of what we don’t want, will no doubt remove much of the weight we carry.

What beliefs guide your thoughts and behavior? Do you dare to challenge any of those beliefs to see if they still fit, or if they ever did fit you? When we hold negative beliefs about ourselves, such as “I never get anything right!” or “I’m a failure,” we often find that our beliefs will be verified by our future actions! We create our reality. We also tend to treat others according to our beliefs about them and thus risk missing the opportunity to truly know the other person.

Sometimes we behave in ways because we’ve been shaped to behave that way, not that it really fits us. But it may have helped us to “fit in.” How much did we have to stretch ourselves to fit in, or conversely, how much did we have to cut off? Is my self-image authentic or fabricated? Is it truly me, the inner me or am I simply acting out a version of who I think I should be? Recall the power of suggestion and the self-fulfilling prophecy. We do impact the reality we experience.

What are some steps that we can take to change our reality if we are not content with the one we seem to be living out? Watching our thoughts is an empowerment tool that will help us attract what we want instead of what we fear or dread. Our thoughts are powerful, there is no doubt about that. We just have to remember that. When we worry or replay painful experiences in our mind, we bring that past into our reality. We make it current once again. If we want to attract happiness into our lives, we have to focus more on ideas, thoughts, memories and dreams that make us happy—not sad, angry or anxious.

When you catch yourself slipping into a gloomy, negative thinking path, just say out loud, “STOP!” Let it go. Take that thought and delete it. Instead, develop an affirmation that will draw positive energy towards you. After you identify a negative belief, create a positive, counteracting belief or affirmation that you will tell yourself every time that negative thought or emotion arises.

For example, imagine that you are having difficulties with your significant other or another important person in your life. What do you say to yourself about the tension you are experiencing? Do you tell yourself negative things over and over, or can you simply step back from the situation and tell it to just “be”? Or are you saying to yourself, “This always happens! He doesn’t care about me. He is self-centered and selfish. All he cares about is himself!” You get the picture. Can you just let it go for now? Give yourself some time and space to calm down, then focus on what you want.

Thinking and It’s Physiological Effects

Can you imagine how these thoughts are interacting with your physiology? Your heart beats faster, your palms sweat, your breathing becomes shallower, your blood pressure rises and you have set the stage for illness. But what if you stop the negative thoughts before they start, step back and just observe yourself? You won’t activate a stress response.

You can then instead focus on what is positive about the relationship. It is important to address the feelings of not being cared for, but by not reacting and instead, responding through consciously looking at the gestalt, or the whole picture of the relationship, you can put things in better perspective. This keeps you from reacting from past trauma because you are present, in the moment with the experience you are having. There is no need to add any “stories” to your perception. By stories, I mean those old stories from past traumas that are triggered. Now you can let the current experience become.

So we turn our negative thoughts into thoughts that nurture the reality we want to experience. We learn to communicate with each other rather than blame one another about who is right or who’s wrong. If we can start with ourselves, change the tapes that keep running through our minds, we can live more presently and harmoniously.

Experiment and keep track of negative thoughts you have and then counter them with positive affirmations. It’s interesting how repeating positive affirmations, day after day, changes so much. If I act “as if” I am confident, or if I smile more, will I actually be more confident and feel happier? Hmmmmm….I wonder?

Don’t give up. Persevere. If you have told yourself negative statements over and over, and others have done the same to you, it will take some time for the belief to change the reality you perceive. But, don’t be surprised if the positive affirmations actually cause you to behave differently than you did before which will in turn, change your reality. One of my favorite affirmations that I said to myself for years was, “I am at peace with myself, the world and everyone in it.”

Tapping Into the Power of the Mind to Heal

With the rising cost of medicine and medical care, dissatisfaction with traditional medicine is driving people to seek alternative ways of being healthy. Yoga provides many physical, physiological, and mental benefits. Not only does your body become more flexible, but your mind will respond in kind. You will feel calmer and more centered through a daily practice of stretching and assuming yoga postures that also help drain toxins from your lymph glands and tissues.

Traditional western medicine often only provides symptom relief, but many people want to go beyond treatment. There are alternative approaches to getting and staying healthy that reflect a pro-active movement towards preventative medicine. Growing interest in psychoneuroimmunology can be seen at the federal level of government. With the establishment of the Office of Complementary and Integrative Health, a branch of the National Institutes of Health (NIH), research dollars have been channeled toward studies that help us better understand what is involved in a preventative approach to health. When the government begins to spend tax dollars investigating these approaches, it becomes evident that the people in our society want more than simply “popping pills” or to having surgery performed. What if insurance paid for more preventative approaches? I think that would motivate more people to learn preventative medicine. Do we want to use a proactive approach that ensures greater health, or would we rather opt for prescription medicine?

In 1998, I attended The First International Congress of Tibetan Medicine, sponsored by the George Washington School of Medicine in Washington, D.C. This was a joining of the East with the West so they could put their heads together in hopes of meeting the medical challenges presented by modern day living. The western doctors knew that western medicine was very good at addressing bacterial infections but did poorly when it came to viral infections. The eastern doctors were good with viruses, but not so good with bacterial infections. It was a great combination of innovation and openness where eastern and western approaches to medicine were presented, discussed, explored and questioned. There were numerous workshops, lectures, symposiums and presentations that explored the interface of western and eastern approaches to healing and health. Not surprisingly, meditation, yoga, chi kung, tai chi are now a normal part of exercise programs for many.

At that conference I watched a film that focused on the power of the mind. They followed the practice of Toumo Meditation, a Tibetan skill that monks learn. In this form of meditation, the meditator is taught to raise his or her body temperature through the power of the mind and breathwork. It demonstrates that we have the ability to control what we always thought was uncontrollable – our autonomic and physiological systems. For many years these Tibetan monks practice this form of meditation, advancing when they are consciously able to raise their body temperature enough to dry soaking wet sheets in a freezing room! This is an amazing documentary where you will actually see the steam rising from the drying sheets draped on the monks bodies.

When the monks have mastered this skill, they then trek up the Himalayas to spend the entire night in the raw elements as a rite of passage, wearing only their thin robes and sandals. Upon attainment of a mastery level of this ability, they ascend into the freezing temperatures for the night only to descend in the morning without frostbite or harm. Watch a clip of this documentary here: Tuomo Meditation

Our society is ready for new knowledge, especially knowledge that empowers us as individuals to take charge of our own health. The growing practices of massage therapy, hypnosis, acupuncture, natural medicine, chi kung, Rolfing, martial arts, and yoga indicate that individuals are striving to move beyond a “band-aid” approach to health and well being.

Integrative strategies blending these alternative approaches are pointing researchers in a direction that will add to the body of knowledge regarding the bodymind connection. As we learn more about consciousness states and our ability to use this interconnection between the body and the mind, it is possible that we will gain greater control over our lives and health. Larry Dossey, one of the leading practitioners in alternative medicine wrote that when we “focus toward a principle of relatedness and oneness, and away from fragmentation and isolation, health ensues.”

How Effective Is Visual Imagery?

If you are ready to learn more about the power of our mind to heal, read The Holographic Universe by Michael Talbot. Talbot provides us with many plausible cases of healing against all odds. He also shares an interesting study that demonstrates the power of positive “thinking” and imagery.

This study explored the effects of using imagery versus actual physical performance. In one study, this was used to compare these two ways to improve one’s free throw scores in basketball. For a designated period of time, the experimental group were told to simply sit with their eyes closed and to imagine, or visualize that they were shooting a free-throw and to actually envision, or see the ball go through the hoop. The other group practiced as usual— physically shooting free throws.

At the end of the study, the group that had only used imagery completed more successful free throws than those in the group that had actually practiced making free throws. What does this tell us about the power of the mind to shape reality? And what are the implications for our own ability to heal from illness and to stay healthy?

These examples suggest that the body responds not to the reality of a situation necessarily, but the connection between our mind and body is so intertwined that our physiology will react to a thought or visualization of something happening in the same way as if it was actually happening. What we believe or visualize to be true, has a corresponding affect on us. Talbot warns us to be mindful of “the images upon which we meditate, our hopes and fears, the attitudes of our doctors, our unconscious prejudices, our individual and cultural beliefs, and our faith in things both spiritual and technological.” We are powerful. Our thoughts can activate our physiology. The implications are astounding.

Can we begin now to catch ourselves in “Negative Self-Talk” and change that focus towards the POSITIVE? The glass is half full; not half empty. We catch ourselves when we slip into a victim mentality and instead empower our minds with imagery and the use of positive self-talk, focusing on what we DO want instead of filling our consciousness with stories of what we DO NOT want.

Can we change our lives through our intentions? We do so everyday, but may not realize it. Once we become mindful of what we are filling our minds with, we can begin to be conscious co-creators of our reality.

What do you want to have come into your life? What would your life look like if you dropped the fear, anxiety, and negative self talk? It’s worth a try to see.

Namaste

Dr. Sharon

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Music Credit Acknowledgment:

- Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):

https://uppbeat.io/t/rahul-popawala/north-indian-alleys

That last one…death. That always gets us, doesn’t it? Yet note that Marcus Aurelius wrote that it is not death we need to fear, but we should fear never having lived. 

“I’m living every day!” you say. Well, our hearts may still be beating and we did wake up this morning. But did we wake to a “new day,” seeing all as through the eyes of a newborn baby? Or are we dragging yesterday’s sorrows, fears, disappointments, disillusionment and anger into today’s mindscape? 

It’s so hard to let go, isn’t it? What difference would it make if we did let go of the things we hang on to? I’m not talking about cleaning your closet, but the internal machinations of our monkey-mind. What would we lose? Our anguish? Sounds like a good trade off to me.

So the question is, are we living our lives fully? Does living fully imply all we need is to have enough resources to buy and go wherever we want, when we want? Or is the life that Aurelius speaks of our “lived life”? You know…how you are everyday in life. How you feel, what you do, how you see the world, how you see your place in the world.

Whose life you are living? We follow the desires that our parents had for us, or society’s definition of success, and wonder why we feel discontentment. Are we behaving in ways that make us feel that we have value to others? Did it mean that we had to dummy down some of our natural curiosity or exuberance because it made mom or dad uneasy?

Whose version of you are you living in any given interaction you have? The good son/daughter? The smart one? The helpful one? The manly one? The demure female? The independent one? The list goes on. We add a bit here, carve out a chunk there, and live out archetypal expressions of ourselves because we want to fit in and be accepted. 

Doing that comes at a price, however, because we have to overplay certain natural characteristics or underplay others, all that consequently interferes with the emergence of the true, authentic You—the Self in Carl Jung’s terms. Capital S. Not little “s” self, which is the ego’s version of who/how we think we are. The big “s” Self is the result of achieving a full flowering of our true nature unencumbered by familial, gendered, cultural, or societal expectations. An examined life.

How does this evolution of our Self relate to facing death? Discussions about death and dying are inherently difficult. Our death denying society makes it difficult to have meaningful conversations about death because most people don’t want to go there. It brings up too much anxiety, fear and sorrow. And so we go about our days denying this inevitable event will happen to us soon. Or ever.

What would happen if we began to bring death into its rightful place in our lives? It is seen as the end of our life, but does it inform us in any way as to how we shall live while we are still in our bodies?

Can we embrace the idea that to live fully we are each called to discover, uncover, and recover aspects of our Self and with that unveiling learn how to live more fully? And with that fulfillment we find inner peace because our choices change when we get off the treadmill of conformity. Our friends change. Our choices change. 

Ram Dass, spiritual guru and former Harvard professor of psychology wrote:

“In a way, I’m finding it much more interesting to remain spiritually conscious…like we’re much closer to facing in the daily news the issue of our potential death. And that is a major cultural vehicle for awakening. The confrontation with death….is the vehicle that helps you awaken the most. And that’s what we’re confronted with much more now. So it seems like the optimum time for spiritual growth to me.” ~ Ram Dass

Spiritual growth. I suppose one has to first believe that we are more than the sum of our human body parts and that we have an inner essence that can grow or evolve. Presuming this is the innermost spirit within each person, what does that spirit call us to do in this life we are given? Or rather than to “do” this lifetime, is it more who we are “to be?” To discover…to actualize this lifetime? I don’t think this refers to externally sanctioned societally approved achievements or characterizations, but the willingness to dive deep inside to see what we are made of. Truly.

This leads me back to Lamott’s dilemma. Death is inevitable, and it needs my full awareness if I am to live authentically. Death brings to awareness that “this is not a rehearsal” (A quote from my dear friend Caroline. May she rest in peace.). If I am to discover who I am, I have to quiet down all the voices that tell me “I should; I ought to; I better not”… and on and on,” so that I can hear my own voice. Maybe for the first time. 

How will our confrontation with death help us to grow? And how is spiritual growth connected to what we are faced with today? Many of us simply say, “I’m living it up now cause you never know when you’re going to die!” So we pursue the accumulation of material things and try our best to live it up feeling that these “things” and experiences will make us feel more alive. But do they really? 

Without inner peace, the things we accumulate and the material possessions we gather around us inevitably lose their interest for us. We thought those things would make us happy, and they did for a moment or so, but without inner peace we are simply grasping straws. And our search goes on for our next “fix.”

What is inner peace and how shall we achieve it? What does inner peace have to do with our facing death? Isn’t it more peaceful to NOT think of death, especially our own? Or our loved ones? 

Have you heard the saying, “Die before you die”? This saying refers to the death of the ego, and not your physical being. It means that we let the ego go, to put it in its place in our consciousness so that we can begin to really live. We don’t kill the ego, but one by one we unveil the egos demands and we become aware of how we may be just playing a role rather than being who we are authentically or daring to say how we really feel. 

The Awakened Self realizes that the ego serves a useful place in life, as we find ourselves in various social situations. But we are aware that we are truncating ourselves in those situations, because this seems necessary to keep our jobs, careers and social relationships. Awareness is key; not acting out. But the psyche works in such a way that if you shove down your irritation at another person, resentment builds and can prime you for a “blow up,” with anyone or any situation that triggers the irritation again. Better to keep conscious of your feelings, but exercise civility in those situations. 

Tapping into our own depths allows what has been ignored or shoved down into the unconscious, to emerge again, be educated, then put it it’s rightful current perspective. We see it again with fresh eyes that are different because of education, experience, and wisdom. 

Do we need to go to years of therapy to uncover what lurks beneath the surface? Or is there a path to the heart that resides within? Can we find the strength to awaken? Within our inner being we know what we need, believe, and hope for. But do we listen? Do we keep at the forefront of our minds what we hope to create in our lives? Or do we carry too much baggage from the past and fears of the future, weighing us down to move forward in our evolution?

Anne Lamott has another bit of wisdom on this idea:

As you grew, you collected possessions, the psychic kind you needed to survive: the armor to ward off emotional battery; the snippets of good advice (“Never let them see you cry”) you picked up as a girl. You needed to guard these possessions, and what better safe-deposit box than your body? Plenty of room next to the family secrets and all the scary feelings you swallowed. ~

She truly knows how to paint soul pictures, doesn’t she? I know what she means…how we locked away into our very own bodies, the energy of the things we dared not reveal to others. 

We locked it away in our private “safe-deposit box” that eventually manifested in bodily symptoms, such as muscular tension, headaches, back aches, stomach aches, jaw aches, disease, bad moods. Our body remembers what our minds have forgotten. So let’s stop feeding the cycle…

When we live in such a way that we miss the moments of our lives as they happen, we lose. We lose the joy that could have arisen had we not been consumed with worry and anxiety. It’s like walking down the road but not noticing what is around you or where you are, the birds playing in the trees, the beauty of the formation of the clouds, the aromas of life all around us. To be aware, is to be mindful.

Mindfulness is to be aware of all that is in the present moment…the soft sound of the music playing, the rustling of leaves outside my open door, the sound of acorns dropping as fall approaches. It also includes an awareness of how the air feels against my skin, the absence of the earlier abdominal uncomfortableness that I was experiencing, the lightness of my soul at this moment. It is an inner and outer awareness, as a witness. 

All that and more instead of getting carried away with thinking and planning, going over in our minds the disturbing conversations we’ve had, wondering why? Why? Why? Worrying about what will happen tomorrow, next week, or next year. We are everywhere except here. We are caught in the past or fretting about the future. And they don’t exist anyway. We bring the past into the present by our attachment to it, not letting it go. Why not learn from it and move on? Let it go.

Death can serve as an event for which we prepare for, through evolving our consciousness that brings more serenity into our lives. You’ve heard it before—BE HERE NOW. If I am here, fully present to what is happening within and without, I can appreciate the moment, because it is Now. Not then, not later, not what if. I can begin anew and catch myself when I start to apply stories to what is currently happening. This awareness prevents my missing the story that is actually unfolding in front of me.

More to come…

Namaste 🙏🏼

Dr. Sharon Joy Ng

Music Credit Acknowledgment:

- Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):

https://uppbeat.io/t/rahul-popawala/north-indian-alleys

What does it mean, to evolve through relationships? In this article, we will explore how the dynamics of relationships can form a testing ground for how much we have grown or evolved. It is within the interactions we have with our partners where we can discover our unfinished business. We can become aware of how we may be carrying forth old stories, wounds, and trauma into the current situation which in turn prevents us from having good, clear communication with one another.

As social creatures, we need connection of some kind with others. As the saying goes, “No man (or woman) is an island.” Although we could survive alone, will we flourish without others? Can we discover the depths of who we can become if we don’t have others to help us plumb those depths? How do relationships assist in this process of Self discovery?

Those who have a social support network are happier and live longer. Whether you are an introvert or extrovert, others are necessary to have in our lives for so many reasons. Introverts generally have fewer relationships, but they tend to be deeper connections rather than just acquaintances. On the other hand, extroverts thrive on having more relationships of various depths. They thrive in the presence of others and seem to need social interactions more than introverts. Either way, we need to have some connection to another person.

What is it about others that informs our journey in life and makes it meaningful? And why is it that our most intimate relationships seem to present our greatest challenges? It is within these partnerships where we meet some of our greatest challenges because archetypal patterns of behavior are activated, or potentiated when we find ourselves in certain situations that activate typical human patterns of behavior that we assume at different times of our lives.

For example, one can only imagine how we will behave when we are first confronted with a new situation. So let’s say we find ourselves alone later in life. How do we adjust to this new way of living? We imagine we will feel this way or that way and we will do x, y, and z. In our minds we imagine how we will be but when the actual time comes when we are faced with this way of being, we may find that we struggle to adjust to this new circumstance and try to find our own rhythm in this new role we have assumed. It takes time. We try this or that and over time we learn what works for us and what doesn’t. We may ask ourselves, “What do others do in my situation?” We thought we would be a particular way, but when actually faced with the situation we had to live through it to find our own comfort zone. We had to grow into our own unique way of “living” in our new role.

Similarly, in relationships we follow typical patterns of behaving for the role we find ourselves in. We became a husband or wife and began to slowly mold ourselves into what we thought we “should” be like in that role. It’s easier and more comfortable to slip into a role if we have an idea of what that role entails. Did you assume typical wifely or husbandly behaviors at first? More than likely we had to start somewhere and then slowly evolve the characteristics we personally felt comfortable to assume, so maybe we started out our role as a husband doing the “manly” things around the house. But what if that male is more naturally comfortable in the kitchen? How do we negotiate who does the shopping and who does the cooking? Who is responsible for the yard upkeep and who mops and vacuums? Although society would divide those chores into men’s or women’s work, that is an archetypal view of those roles. We want to live our lives fully in our own individualistic ways, so we start to negotiate and communicate our needs and desires with each other so that we both become individuals in those roles. I hope this makes sense.

With all the work that is required to grow and maintain a relationship, how many of you have felt that it would be easier to simply NOT be in one!? Wouldn’t that solve much of the turmoil we experience in relationships? 

Think of it this way...in the presence of our intimate partner, we are faced with our own shadow-work. You know those places within your psyche…the dark places that we keep hidden from the world and oftentimes, from ourselves as well. It is filled with the wounds, traumas, insecurities, fears, desires, and memories that color our world. It’s also filled with things we have not confronted or met in our life’s situations yet. Our shadow-work requires that we bravely step forward into the conversation in order to separate what IS from what we project onto the situation.

Much of what we experience in regards to our struggles in relationships is a mirror that reflects back to us the work that we still need to do, if we can detach enough to examine what is happening. Most often, we are triggered in the present that evokes unfinished, or “uncooked” seeds in our psyche. Because much of what we need to work out comes from our early years within our family, our uncooked seeds stem from triggers from our past. Quite often, our partner is simply a catalyst to our anger, hurt, confusion, or pain. They say or do, or don’t do something that pushes a sensitive “button” in our minds/hearts/souls, and we react accordingly. We are primed to react but what if we could re-own what is ours and with that awareness, begin the process of healing through mindfulness? 

Our partner simply served as the trigger to bring our unfinished business to the surface. When we become aware of that, we can step back and not react, but to observe this time and ask ourselves what underlies our emotional reaction. What did that interaction trigger and/or how was that similar to something from our past traumas or sensitivities? Or perhaps we are faced with our beliefs about how our partners “should” behave? We project the archetypal role on the other and expect them to fit into it! With this awareness, we are conscious that we have been triggered and we take the time to observe what is happening outside of us and within our own psyches to enable us to respond to the situation rather than to react to our reaction. It’s a giant leap.

The past or our expectations are not what is happening NOW, but when we are triggered it can evoke a painful past memory or strongly held belief into our current situation. We bring that past into the present and perpetuate its life within our present. How do we let it all go so that we can stop living from the past? How can we learn to not carry these worn-out stories into our present, convincing ourselves about what should be happening, why something is happening, or what it all means? It is our form of protection, but this protective mechanism to react doesn’t allow us to grow and evolve beyond the past. We remain stuck in our past if we cannot see how it impacts our today. Mired in past beliefs, pain or fear, it is difficult for us to grow beyond reacting to reach a point of self illumination and understanding that we have been triggered. Being triggered we may find that our perception is 20/20, but we may also see that we are coloring the situation with our past or strongly held beliefs so we begin the process to unravel the past from the present to allow us to see the truth of the current situation. When we understand that it is the unfinished aspects within our own psyche that prevents us from seeing or communicating clearly, we bring healing to our inner world and our relationships.

Can we stay grounded and keep the veils from obscuring our vision?  When we can remember that our buttons are ours and were simply triggered by the person before us, we can bring that mindfulness into the present and work on that wound. The wound has not healed thus it continues to evoke the internal reaction experienced. As Ram Dass would describe it, these “uncooked seeds” in our psyche need more time and attention to fully process.

Seeing the pain as a wound that needs more healing allows us to proactively re-own our own stuff and stop blaming others. If both people in the relationship work on their individual “dragons in the psyche” we are able to create more harmony within and between. This is where it gets tough, however, because to work through the traumas, we need to share what is going on within our hearts, mind and emotions so that our partner can gain some understanding of who we are. To be seen, we need to reveal the inner Self, but the task is for us who must first see, in order to reveal.

So yes, it may be easier to stay out of relationships because your buttons won’t get triggered—at least not the buttons that belong to the “intimate relationships” category. But think of this: psychiatrist Carl Jung believed that we could never fully discover our true Self without being in relationships. We learn about ourselves through the eyes of other people and their response to us. We are tested in relationships in ways that we are not tested otherwise. It is only within relationships that certain aspects of our unresolved shadow-work are triggered. Maybe intimate relationships are a necessary step in our growth process if we are to fully unfold who we can become. Without the interactions and experiences that tend to be a part of these types of relationships, we are never tested to see how we will react or respond to those moments that seem particularly unique to love relationships. What was undiscovered can be uncovered, updated and resolved in the present.

We could say that most of our shadow work comes from our past—our observations and experiences within our families, cultures and society. Each of our families has unique qualities that either foster or prevent the emergence of our uniqueness. The unique cultures to which we were exposed (e.g., religious training, ethnic identities, geographical location where we grew up, what gender expectations were in force as we grew up, or whether we grew up in the military as well as the socioeconomic level of our parents or caregivers), combined with societal bombardment of ideal images or dictates of what it means to be a man or woman serve to shape our shadows. Do we simply assume the status quo for the roles we find ourselves in, or do we make the choice to Individuate—bring to consciousness what is unconscious— and have the courage to emerge more fully as a conscious, aware and mindful person? The work is there to be done.

🙏🏼 Namaste

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Music Credit Acknowledgment:

- Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):

https://uppbeat.io/t/rahul-popawala/north-indian-alleys

When I trained in mindfulness with UC Davis emeritus professor, Dr. Charles Tart we were at a workshop in Esalen, which is in Big Sur, CA. We learned to focus our attention to the here and now at specific intervals throughout the time we were together. This enabled us to detect where we held our tension so that we could release it, whether it was our jaw, shoulders, feet or hands. Having that awareness allowed us to consciously relax those areas.

What a great opportunity that was for me to converse with Dr. Tart and to learn this valuable tool from him. He was pivotal in bringing awareness to the phenomena of Extra Sensory Perception, or ESP, through his research at UCD and I always considered him as one of the psychologists who had deeply influenced the direction of my work in psychology

Mindfulness is characterized by paying total attention to the present moment with a non-judgmental awareness of the inner and/or outer experience. It refers to the cultivation of a conscious attention on a moment-to-moment basis and is characterized by an open and receptive attitude. We check in with our body…am I tense as I systematically focus my awareness on different parts of my body? If I am tense, I consciously relax that part so that I feel the difference between my unconscious tense state and my conscious ability to relax those muscle groups.

From this perspective, the definitions of reality that we cling to are suspended, allowing for our inner truth to emerge. Truth in this sense is that which is (as opposed to that’s what I fear, or that’s what I expected, or that’s the way it always is…) so that we can hear what emerges from our ability to stay in the present moment. I may find that I am so tense that I didn’t realize that my shoulders were up around my ears! With this realization, I consciously relax my shoulders so that they drop and I release that tension.

Although I may not be aware of my tension at that moment, I can start to speak to that part of my body: “Why are you so tense?” I might ask my shoulders. I can then bring awareness to this part of my body and I may hear the reply, “I am carrying so much weight in this situation! I feel so burdened as if it’s all my responsibility!” This at least gives us a starting point to use some therapeutic techniques to release these tense thoughts and emotions. If I find that I am feeling overburdened, I can use tapping, or Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) to process this sense of responsibility that I hold in my neck, shoulders and back. I can tap on the key acupuncture points in the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) which will help to calm the amygdala in my brain that is activated.

I can also move my eyes back and forth as is done with Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), focusing on the feelings or situations that exacerbate my feelings of burden. Another thing I can do to calm myself is to sit in stillness and focus upon my breathing for 15 minutes, or I can put those “pictures in my head of being responsible for everything” into a red rose, then send it up and explode it. Surprisingly, this latter technique really helps to stop those incessant thoughts and pictures that get stuck in our heads so that their energy is removed from our consciousness. These techniques can help to relieve us from emotional trauma, anxiety, guilt and shame that have accumulated in our lifetime.

Evolving consciousness means that we are expanding the way we use our consciousness so that we are able to more fully use the powers of consciousness. By loosening the restrictions to consciousness that we usually operate from, we tap into our abilities to discern a different level of awareness. We become aware, or mindful, of our automatic reactions to experiences and instead open up to take in the situation with a receptive consciousness. This helps us awaken from our waking sleep.

Waking sleep is a term used by Charles Tart. He described how most of us are unaware of much of our experience because we have learned to tune out and prejudge much of what happens, therefore, we miss out on what is happening in the moment. 

Awakening expands consciousness so that we see the interconnectedness of all things. When we understand this, we begin to see how perception is fueled by our thoughts and past programming, making it imperative that we address the entire perceptual environment if we are to heal. Awakening must include all realms of human existence—the physical (body), the intellectual (mind), and the spiritual (soul).

Dropping Our Ego

Much of human suffering, or samsara, is the result of how we view the world. Suffering according to this Eastern term is that it arises because we cling to our expectations. We desire certain outcomes and things in our lives and when it does not unfold, we suffer. The remedy for this is to be in the Here and Now at all times. If we are in the moment, then we won’t be worrying about the past or be anxious about what is to come. The next moment will come and if we are “in that moment” we have no room for worry or anxiety. We will just take care of what is.

When we understand the nature of consciousness, the causes of anxiety are seen for what they are—thoughts, memories or expectations that we cling to and bring into the present moment, coloring our experience. These memories or experiences condition us, in a classical conditioned sense, to meet the environment in predetermined ways. Together these insights help us see that much of what we experience as reality is in truth an application of our preexisting conditioning coupled with our predetermined definitions and expectations about the way life is.

Spiritual practices as emphasized in transpersonal approaches help us to dissolve these ego boundaries. This allows us to live life less from the storylines we hold in our heads so that we can participate more fully in the moment as it is. Although spiritual systems emphasize the loosening of ego boundaries and being less identified with the ego, this strategy does not negate the importance of having a strong ego. As we allow consciousness to emerge and expand through meditative practices, the loosening of unconscious material may overwhelm us if we don’t have a firm ground on which to stand. We need a strong ego that is grounded in the present moment, as observers of what is unfolding around us. As we are stripping our ego of old tapes, we strengthen it to reflect who we are in the present; not who we thought we were or who we were told that we were.

When we are able to use our pain as “grist for the mill,” we process and remove the old, outdated modes of thinking, feeling and behaving to reflect who we are becoming. This process is not easy, because we are letting go of structures that have held us together for what is likely a long time. For example, as we emerge from our waking sleep, we may find that what we learned about who we are from our religious training may need to change. Or what we believed about certain aspects of life don’t really work for us and that we need a new roadmap to guide us. But where is that new map and what will the landmarks be on it that I can truly rely on?

This process may be so intense that it leads to what Stanislav Grof described as a spiritual emergency. He described cases where people experience their bodies vibrating or shaking as well as consciousness states resembling a psychosis as they wrestle with changing their former viewpoint into a new expanded consciousness. From a psychodynamic viewpoint, we would describe that the ego is overwhelmed with the changing nature of one’s consciousness. As one belief system is loosened to make way for a new way of thinking, disruptions to our known ways of seeing the world can cause psychological distress.

From a transpersonal perspective, it is not seen as a mental illness, but is approached with compassion, helping the individual make sense of the conflicting material that may emerge when spiritual expansion occurs. This healing happens because it is a caring approach, contrasted to a treatment approach.

We need to discover, and therefore become familiar with who we are so that we don’t get lost in the transformative process. By discovering what has been added to our basic Self by our family, cultures and society, we can separate the chaff from the grain. We get in touch with our true form underneath. With this strength we can begin to take active steps towards growth and the evolution of our own consciousness.

~ Namaste

Dr. Sharon

How many of us have felt that way about our journey? To be aware of that challenge and to not succumb to despair? To be so aware that we have avoided life in some ways…doubting ourselves and feeling isolated, alienated, and just plain different? Is this sense of separation from others and life borne from a distortion of our perception of who we are? Who are we anyway? How did we grow into the person that we refer to as “Me”? And must we be satisfied with what we feel, sense, perceive and believe about that core self? Or can we move through the world with a solid sense of grounding, steady as we walk step by step to live more fully from our true self? What would it take for us to slow down enough to hear our emerging Self?

This emerging Self is the part of us who questions and seeks clarity of consciousness so that we can live our highest potential. We learn to live mindfully, aware of our own tendency to apply stories to what’s happening in hopes of understanding the situation. Yet the stories we tell ourselves often trap us in our inertia and don’t allow for a more current perspective on what is occurring. We apply stories that resemble past pain or future fears. We bring forward into our present situation the sensitivities we’ve formed, the fears we carry—we are primed to “react” rather than to respond. We interact in the world from habit rather than from a fresh clear awareness of the situation before us.

To train our minds to be present…to BE HERE NOW…is to live more fully. We stop reacting because of our “buttons” and learn to witness when we have been triggered. We step back and become the observer. This brings us a broader perspective of the situation because we have not applied any narrowing due to stories we tell ourselves about the causes of the current situation. We just rest in the present moment and witness…”Wow! That sure pushed my buttons! Let me take a step back and not judge it, apply expectations, or lash out, but to witness with awareness, like a baby, to see/hear/feel what is happening now without self judgment either. To just Be. 🙏🏼 Namaste.

I loved teaching the various courses (general psychology, gender, personal and social adjustment, abnormal psychology, human sexuality, consciousness, marriage and family), but my favorite topic was my Consciousness Series courses. This 3-part series explored what is known about the History of Consciousness as well as being introduced to how consciousness is explored by various theorists. Advanced Consciousness continued that exploration into the various powers of consciousness as well. Books and teachings by Ken Wilber, Jeffrey Mishlove, and Michael Talbot formed the basis of these explorations.

To get a better view of what I focused upon in my teachings, please view my website at www.wuchicreations.com, or use the link on my Substack website. From my website, you can access a series of articles that I wrote for those classes as well as for my website. There are also videos found there. I was privileged to co-teach with Dr. Stanley Krippner at the Institute of Noetic Science in Palo Alto. As a precursor to that workshop, I did a three-part series webinar on The Awakened Self that you will find under the Video Archive on my website at wuchicreations.com.

Today, I am primarily focused on helping others to find their path to Awakening to their inner core authentic Self. That Self is different from the self, which I will refer to as our ego’s belief and expression of who we think we are (or should be). The authentic Self is the Self that has explored and discovered how she/he has been molded into the current state of self that that person believes her/himself to be. That journey allows for a rediscovery at the same time. We rediscover the parts of ourselves that we have discarded because they didn’t seem to make us acceptable to others. We discover the parts of ourselves that we may have “made up” because we didn’t believe that who we are was enough. This false self is developed through the familial, cultural and societal dictums that basically told us we needed to be different.

The writings that I plan to explore on this platform have to do with our Awakening to a more evolved state of our humanness. It is an opening of our consciousness to that which may have been hidden from us waiting to emerge. It is a journey in which you are the heroine or hero of your own story. I am here to be a guide.

Namaste.

Dr. Sharon

Thanks for reading The Awakened Self ! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Because of your participation and interest, I am encouraged to continue to publish new articles, and now, to expand on how I present that information. Beginning with this announcement you will be able to not only read the articles, but can opt to listen to them as well! Read or listen. It’s up to you.

By expanding the avenues of exploration into the material for the Awakened Self, you will be able to listen to the podcast version of my articles while you go about your daily routine. Just plug in or hook up your earphones and press play to listen to me read it to you. I am hoping these audios will provide a different take on the content I share, creating a more intimate experience and bringing me “to life” for you, so to speak.

Please comment on the articles you read or listen to. I always appreciate hearing from my readers. If you think family and friends might benefit from the articles, please share my post or Substack with them. Your comments provide me with valuable feedback that I will use to help guide the direction of publication for the Awakened Self. Let me know your thoughts. Has it been helpful? How so? Does it bring up other questions for you? Are there other topics relevant to being human that you would like me to explore or to expand upon? You know, like parenting (not just children but adult children), relationship harmony or lack thereof, feelings of anxiety, depression, or uncertainty. The topics are endless because being human is very complex.

My articles are written in the spirit of an Eastern/Transpersonal approach to exploring the human condition. Inspired by the work of Carl Jung, my approach in psychology naturally evolved into an Eastern/transpersonal approach in my understanding of consciousness, gender, relationships, and personal mythologies. From the the womb through birth, life, death and beyond we will explore what it means to be human and how we can better navigate our journey to live our lives in peace, harmony, happiness and love. We are on an empowering journey, ready to access what we have either forgotten or never known. We can explore different ways to uncover what holds us back from living the life we have always wanted. It is an empowering approach because it is all up to us. Through the power of consciousness and the willingness to dig deep within, we can find purpose to our lives and learn how to let ourselves have the happiness and peace we seek.

You don’t have to read the articles in any particular order, but choose the topic or title that piques your interest. I am privileged to serve as a companion and guide on your journey. Again, thank you. I plan to release the audio component of my past articles in a sequential way, starting with the oldest article first and adding audio to each in turn until I am current. At the same time, I will continue to publish bi-weekly articles that will include an audio as they are released. I hope you enjoy this additional feature of the Awakened Self. I write in service to your health, happiness and wholeness.

~ Namaste

Dr. Sharon