[Note: I tried to improve the readability of the transcript for folks who’d rather read, so it may differ slightly from what’s in the audio, but my thoughts still stand]

Good morning everyone. I'm going to make this very quick because there's already a lot out there that has been said, and honestly I just want to contribute a few more things. I'm not looking to like speak more to what's already been spoken about, but Last week, we witnessed yet another celebrity being fatphobic to their audience.

Big fucking shocker, right?

And this time, of course, it was Cardi B, and she was getting real fatphobic around her 3Xs selling out.

And my thing is... First of all, why the fuck are you tweaking over making sales?

Like, I thought y'all was just so committed to making money.

And also, like...

Do you not realize that the average size of a person, primarily a ”female-bodied person", is over a size, 18/20 or around 18/20?

Like, niggas are fat, and that's okay. That should tell you to make more sizes, if not go beyond the size that you stopped at.

But when Samyra, and God bless her, because fat icon, when Samyra tried to educate Belcalis Almanzar, she's like “Well, I have bigger issues to fry than fatphobia.”

Let me make it clear to y'all. Before I even get into the shit—the meat and potatoes that I really want to talk about—fatphobia is an institution of white supremacy, period. It was birthed from the Transatlantic Slave Trade, and it is based on posturing white bodies whites, primarily white, thin bodies, as beautiful and as standard while demonizing fat, Black bodies and treating them as other and not even human. It's so vile to see someone who's built their whole career on on cosplaying Black womanhood and not necessarily even giving them their dues or giving them the respect.

This is the same bitch that called Black women roaches, so how can we expect anything else from this person?

Also, people treat fatphobia, like I say time after time, like Cindy Lauper said, as insignificant,not only because people don't take fat people seriously, but also people liken fatness to an amalgamation of poor choices.

People's whole justification for certain forms of oppression being received as such, is that you can't change it. For example, a lot of people accept racism due to the sentiment of “Oh, you can't change your race.”

Or a lot of people accept certain cultural things is like, okay, that's what you grew up in, or whatever.

But when it comes to fatphobia and poverty, which a lot of times are linked because white supremacy is a chain of unfortunate, vile events and systemic abuse, these things go hand in hand.

But a lot of times poverty is seen as an amalgamation of poor choices and so is fatness.

But I digress.

The fact that she can't even fathom that fatphobia is quite literally linked to every fucking thing happening right now is unsurprising.

But it's also just very telling that this person clearly does not have an investment in expanding their horizons to understand that there are multiple perspectives and that everybody— especially larger body folks —deserve care and respect.

But again, her reaction and behavior is not not isolated.

Other people have done that, both celebrities and “gen pop”, alike.

That's all I'm going to say about that.

What I really want to address is the fat people that were in Samyra's comments who said things like “Oh, I hope she can learn from this,” and “You know, I hope that, you know, I really like her music.”

Sweetheart, I don't give a fuck what you like at this point.

I'mma just be honest with you.

I really don't give a fuck what y'all like.

This bitch don't like you.

This bitch actually hates you, in fact.

She literally berated someone who is shaped like you, who some of y'all she looks like you with a fucking cupcake.

Are we back in high school?

Are we back in middle school?

That didn't bring y'all back to a place?

That didn't make y'all angry?

I know why it didn't make y'all angry.

Y'all want to look like this bitch. You seeing all the fat influencers and all these people losing weight, going on their weight loss journey, and picking up a needle and shoving it in their body and injecting themselves with Ozempic and Weegovy and all this bullshit trying to look like this bitch.

And y'all want that secretly.

I need y'all to hold that because the fact that y'all doubled down about y'all's allegiances to “Bodak Yellow” is crazy to me.

Absolutely nonsensical.

I'm not holding y'all hands no more when I say this.

These people fucking hate you.

She literally said she can't give y'all—first of all, why are we even still eating Conversion Camp chicken? Because even the name drop of Chick-fil-A is like frying me negatively.

But even beyond that, why are y'all so invested in pleasing and appeasing your oppressors?

Y'all already do that with these men—these chubby chasing ass men—who make fun of you in one breath and be jerking off to you on the sidelines in another breath and in your DMs. They’re not offering you no dates, no money, nor motherfucking respect.

Y'all just be accepting bullshit and crumbs from people, and when someone who actually does the work to kind of free all of us, y'all didn't even acknowledge how that was problematic that she said that.

And for the thin folk who think this is okay, I'm still on y'all motherfucking ass.

Because y'all are the same motherfucking bitches that be like, “Oh, I'm so fat,” and want to posture yourselves as better because you can wear a smaller size than me. Bitch, I don't give a fuck what you can wear because you want to know something, guess what? We are in a time of fascism and none of us are going to be wearing clothes because they're going to have us wearing burlap sacks in a minute. And nobody gonna be able to wear shit.

So I need us to lock in and actually unpack our shit, and I need us to lock in and realize that at the end of the day, we cannot separate the art from the artist.

That person is a shit person. I don't give a fuck about they art. It's the same shit that I have to say about Chris Brown. It's the same shit I gotta say about Robert Kelly. It's the same shit I gotta say about these bird brain, pick me ass bitches. They don't give a fuck about you. You are a dollar sign to them. And even the fact that they're complaining that fat bitches was buying their clothes, making them money, and you want to make fun of people that paid you money to support you.

I'm going to tell y'all right now, get a refund.

Call Chase and be like, that's a fraudulent charge because I would never.

You making fun of me and I just bought your shit— your shit that you probably have made in some sweatshop somewhere overseas.

I'm getting a refund, period.

So, you know, there's really no much anymore for me to say. I think y'all are just at a place where it's beyond me. Y'all don't even want to pick up a book no more.

Before, the recommendation would be to pick up a book, but now, some of y'all just need to be left behind at this point because y'all are choosing to be.

And that's fine.

It's not fine in the sense of like, I would prefer for all of us to be like, you know what Why the fuck is this bitch talking like that?

And why the fuck is this bitch talking about me like that?

But I can't really teach y'all the interrogation skills that y'all need, especially the self interrogation skills that we should have been peeped that we've been talking about— the very skills that those of us that have been doing the work have been trying to instill in community for decades now.

This is a tale's as old as time, as Angela Langsbury said, and this is an old-ass conversation that we've been having.

I think there comes a point in time where you have to choose yourself over the bullshit.

And y'all don't want to choose y'all selves because y'all think losing weight is going to save you.

It's not— especially for those of y'all who are Black,those of y'all who are of color, those of y'all that are indigenous. That is not going to save y'all, period.

And to Black, fat folks in particular— y'all don't need to be doubling down for someone who can cosplay you and make money off you in one breath and then make fun of you in another. Y'all are not angry enough, and it shows, and it's very telling.

And the fact that y'all are co-signing with a bitch that berated someone that looked just like you and allowed someone, allowed her community to go after her, and especially since—back to Becalis' ass, you hate Nicki Minaj, but you act like her.

So at the end of the day, I don't have anything nice to say anymore.

I'm tired and there's really nothing else I can do at this point.

And all I can offer is the truth.

And the truth is that these bitches hate you. They are fatphobic, which means they are anti-black, which means they are committed to white supremacy. They don't care about you. And honestly, they really don't care about your money either.

So let's try to not support people who would rather see us dead.

We already got enough people in our lives— our doctors, family members, lovers, friends, strangers— that are willing to invoke fatphobic terrorism onto us.

We don't need to be giving that to something which is supposed to be entertaining us.

And with that, I say, in the words of Kendrick Lamar, turn the motherfucking TV off, bitch.

This episode of Crymodee FM is very special as I am very transparent and vulnerable about more of my experiences in kink and the importance of unpacking shame to experience joy and pleasure when exploring these things. Here is a breakdown of this part of the episode as follows:

Cheyenne’s World is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Cry(modee)in’ in Da Club

* Anime tea: Solo Leveling, Hell’s Paradise, Apothecary Diaries, Dr. Stone

* Current hyperfixation: Criss Angel Mindfreak

* Breakdown of blasphemy kink, slutty churchcore, religious aesthetics, and why I love altars but hate church

* A short sermon on shame, play party fails, and power

Pop Culture Pet Peeves

* True Blood’s take on sex, sin, and supernatural nonsense

* The sapphic cinema of divine punishment: Carrie, Suspiria, AHS: Asylum

* Fat femmes deserve sacred framing too

* “The Virgin, The Whore, and Nothing In Between”—why media needs to stop flattening femmes

Flirtology 101: Confession Booth OpenYour questions, my mildly unhinged advice:

* Soft ways to explore bondage

* Puppy play etiquette 101

* Dating as a Black trans person in poly spaces with fatigue around other Black folks with primary or nesting partners who are not Black

* Impact play for curious babes

Ship It or Skip It

* Church food plates & green beans

* Me & Geto Suguru in a private confessional

* Ketchup and eggs (sorry not sorry I am a ketchup on eggs truther)

As always, I am so thankful and excited to share my art with y’all, and I hope you enjoy this very special episode (and my slutty nun cosplay), as this work is very near and dear to my heart. Enjoy, and let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Thanks for reading Cheyenne’s World! This post is public so feel free to share it.

This is my second episode of Crymodee FM called Silk Sheets and Silk Presses where I discuss my lore around how I came to understand and have a curiosity around sex and kink, some of my pet peeves of situations that remove autonomy from fat femmes in sex and kink spaces, and also giving some advice on folks who are looking to explore kink. Take a look below, and watch the streets for the DJ mix portion coming soon!

Hello, everyone. I hope you are all cool, calm, collected, moisturized, hydrated, fed, well-fucked, whatever, on this glorious Friday afternoon at 4:04 pm, Eastern Standard Time. This is my first time doing the podcast option one substack. So, I do not intend for this to be perfected because, as y'all know, I don't intend for any of my content at this point to be perfected.

However, I still want to come in and be honest and try to be as clear and concise as possible with the thoughts that are currently in my mind, the things that I've been ruminating about, the orbs that I've been pondering. And as always, I am not going to censor myself, nor am I going to apologize for my muthafucking candor, because this is Cheyenne World. And I don't think y'all would be here or keep messing with ya boi if I behaved in any other way.

So, there are a lot of things happening on the internet right now. We are currently watching fascism make a lot of collabs whether it be fascism and colorism, whether it be fascism and trying to bring back these old slave-based tropes. Even during a brief co-working session on TikTok, someone told me that I needed to prepare to be back on the field. So we're seeing more of this rhetoric in 2024. We're also seeing the fascism X fatphobia collab. And I keep telling people that we need to have this conversation, but of course, people don't want to have a conversation about fatphobia. But ya boi, This Nigga™️, is going to have that conversation because who else is going to do it besides the niggas I mess with in the fat liberation spaces, right?

The reason why I bring this up is because we really need to have a strong and honest conversation about what this big bad shit is doing to the culture, to the internet, to the general lexicon of just people overall. I wanted to write about this republication, but they said this was not suitable enough for them, so it's fine. I know it's suitable enough for me, hence why I'm even up here recording this shoot right now.

Big back was something that came up once on social media. I don't necessarily know who the original poster was, but it's something that I've seen fairly recently, even though it could have been taking place prior. I have mostly been seeing it like the end of last year, mid-last year. Basically, people are using it in the context of saying things like "you're fat" because a fat person is expected to have a bigger back. It's weird, but then we started seeing it from blatant fatphobia to more covert shit where people were like, "well, if you don't mind having a big back, you could make this recipe."

Before I go on a rant about that, that's going to be a whole another substack post because honestly, it may be time to start writing some silly shit like that. Marry me chicken ain't nothing but mutherfuckin Tuscan chicken. It's a whole thing. It like and first of all, I also like I really want to have a conversation about how cishet niggas and when I say niggas in this context, I mean, Black people, have very weird like mating rituals, if you will. I'm gonna just say it like that because that's how that shit be feeling.

And I'm saying that to be as unserious and serious as I can, but like, (I'm sorry, let me turn the shit shut down because now I'm hearing the Discord shit). But again, also, this is off the rip and is unedited.

So you're just getting me off the motherfucking dome today. Anyway, um cishet niggas be having these weird mating rituals where they be name and shit to like, acquire a man or do a man because dudes that will do a man for real but or, or like, or like convince a man of their worth and saying shit like marry me chicken and shit. Queer niggas don’t be doing that shit. We don't be doing shit like that. So I know that’s gonna be another substack post, but I'm like, “Yo, just make the fucking chicken. You met this nigga two weeks ago! What are we talking about marriage for? Just make the fucking chicken!”

But, anyway, back to the context of the conversation, the niggas are so busy deep-throating Ozempic right now and so busy focused on the wrong shit that this big back chick has become a part of our lexicon so much so that people are now on TikTok doing fatphobic fat suit type-esque-beat humor, where they're stuffing their shirts and then they're going into their refrigerators and pretending to engorge themselves with different foods.

And then it's this big back rhetoric and making fun of fat people and then proceeding to abuse and verbally assault and promote violence against fat people, which has not stopped, let's be clear, but it's been exacerbated, especially now that we're seeing all the genocides happening in the world, especially now that we're seeing how fascism is literally making a vicious comeback.

I also want to make it clear that there is a connection between the fascism faster fatphobia collab, the resurgence of Weight Watchers, and shit like that, which Weight Watchers is now posited and positioned itself as a clinic. So even the fact that we have “bariatric science” becoming a thing where you have these “clinics” to convince people to lose weight or convince people to feel like they have to because of whatever reason, and full disclosure, I don't give a fuck about people losing weight. Time after time, like Cyndi Lauper said, I don't give a fuck about people losing weight. I don't give a fuck about people choosing to do whatever with their bodies. However, I do give a fuck about how people move in those spaces. I don't give a fuck about people choosing to do whatever with their bodies; however, I do give a fuck about how people move in those spaces and how when people usually do that nine times out of ten they don't give a fuck about fat people.

And it becomes this conversation of when people give honest and thoughtful critiques. It's, "Oh, you're jealous." It's the same rhetoric as when darker-skinned people give critiques about colorism and light-skinned people perceivably see that as like being bullied or being or people being jealous. First of all, you already jump into jealousy because now you're in a thinner body literally is the fatphobia speaking because this is it like, "Oh, you're jealous because I chose to be smaller than you." Nigga, I don't give a fuck about you being a size 14. Whoopty fucking doo! What I do care about is that your size 14 ass and my size 24 ass, should be able to wear the same mutherfuckin clothes, that's what I should care about. I also care that we should all be able to go to the doctor and be treated as a human, regardless of how or the fuck we look, however the fuck present, so on and so forth.

I do give a fuck about how your size 14 ass, my size 24 ass, and whoever comes before or after us should have equity in all areas of life. That's what I give a fuck about. I don't give a fuck about you and your choices. I'm not jealous of whatever the fuck you got going on.

However, I will say this, keep it a mutherfuckin stack, my nigga, as to why you're doing this. That's all people are saying. If people would be like, “Listen, I chose to lose weight because the fatphobia was so hard for me to deal with and navigate that I had to make different decisions with my life,” I’d have hella respect for that.

You know why? Because that's real. We live in a world that fucking hates fat people that fucking hates marginalized people. Do you think that we don't know that it's excruciatingly painful to see how people fucking turn they backs on us, make fun of us, kill us? And don't even bat an eye when these aggressions and these atrocities happen to people that look like us. Of course, we're cognizant of that. But we're what we're not going to do is sit up here and feed into these fairytale bullshit lines that you chose to do something for you, especially when you're posting it on the motherfucking internet.

Y'all are influencers. Y'all are content creators. Y'all know how engagement farming works. Y'all know how engagement works. Y'all know how these muthafuckin algorithms work. Y'all been doing this shit for the longest. So y'all know that when you post things, you want the target audience to relate to it so people can continue to come back to this content. And y'all also know that when y'all post these mutherfuckin before and after videos, and photos and collages, and Canva-generated infographics and shit, y'all know that that comes from a place of weight loss clinics and programs.

Y'all know that’s how that originated. So let's not sit up here and act like we don't know what type Um, it is because baby, I'm looking at the clock right now. And it's fatphobia o'clock. Don't fucking play in my muthafuckin face, stop fucking playing and trying to play in people's muthafuckin faces. It's not that hard.

In order for us to get free, we got to get honest, and getting honest not only with our communities, and again, I don't think we owe people anything, but if we are going to put shit out be understanding and knowing that when you put content out, it is going to be left up for debate, and it is going to be left up to interpretation, and it is going to be left up to critique. And some of the critique is not going to feel good.

Telling a nigga check they privilege, telling a nigga to check they fatphobia telling a nigga to check anything does not feel good. It's not supposed to. You think it feels good for the person to sit up here and watch you do that? And then they have to come back and talk to you about it. No, it don't feel good for anybody. But what's gonna feel worse is that you don't hold yourself accountable.

And you sit up here and allow people to lie to you like to share this, okay? It's not okay, that we have to be subjected to this. And it's not okay that you feel like you have to diminish yourself for a system that don't give a fuck about you either way.

Because baby, I'm gonna tell you right now, when it comes to white supremacy, it's a party that we're all going to be killed by. And I'm not saying that lightly. It's evident, it's clear, it is happening. And I really think we need to be honest about where we are, and what we need to do, and how we're going to do it. And so this is how I this is the this is the hairy part of the conversation, where I'm gonna say this. I keep telling y'all, at this point in late-stage capitalism and white supremacy, we're not going to fully eradicate it, it is very clear that that's not going to happen. It's very unrealistic to even have that as an expectation, or a goal, maybe an end goal, maybe way beyond us exit our existence at this point, right?

But this is why I say we move to harm reduction. And the harm reduction is niggas could do whatever fuck they want to do with a body because it's bodily autonomy, right?

However, I think we just need to be more intentional about how we do these practices, and how we're showing up for people that live in larger bodies than us. And doing it in a way where we don't dishonor them, and doing it in a way where we still want to advocate for people. Because I don't think it's fair that y'all do all this work. And then don't be honest about where you're at. Because it's very clear, when you start clamoring in the comments. When you start clamoring, inequality tweets, when you start clamoring into Instagram stories.

It's very common. It's very, not confident. It's very prevalent, excuse me, it's very obvious. There we go. It's very obvious that you are literally fighting your own demons beloved, it really is.

So I hope that fatphobes have the life that they deserve, which is a terrible one. I hope that fascists have the life that they deserve, which is not one. And I hope that we continue to be honest and have these honest conversations. I hope y'all have a wonderful weekend. Take care of yourselves and each other. And peace, love, and hair grease and hydrate, and all that good shit. Yeah. Bye.