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My dad always described his work at GM as “a tool maker”. He’d say he made the tools that helped repair the tools that made the cars. I don’t know if I have any of that right since I was a kid when he said it.

My understanding is that the big General Motors plants would have a few guys that were on the “tool maker” team and they would be skilled techs that would make the tools for that plant.

As GM scaled and consolidated their operations, my dads job changed. Instead of making the tools for just one plant, they centralized them all to Grand Blanc. Now my dad would have to travel from Lansing to Grand Blanc

But the bigger change for my dad was that instead of his day to day job being different and variable based on what was going on at that plant.

He now described his job as boring.

He would just wait for a robot to finish making a part.

Then he would take it off.

Then he would load the next part.

Did that just happen to my job?

Because, that’s what I do now.

I don’t make the Google Ads myself anymore. I have robots that make them. I just feed the input material and monitor the output.

Did my job just go through the same transition that my fathers did two decades ago?

Is my job now just managing a robot that does my work and thinking for me?

Is my job is just to tell it what to do, hit “allow” a bunch of times, tell the robot when they made mistake and then wait for the robot to fix it.

But how long will the robot even need me to do that?

The robot will be able to check it’s work better than I can. It will be able to feed it more inputs faster than I can.

I’m generally a Techno Optimist as they call it. I think technology has been amazing for humanity.

But every once in awhile I wake up with a little fear. And today was one of those days…

What are you feeling about AI? Has it impacted your job yet?

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Around 1979, Dr. Robin Warren and Barry Marshall started noticing these spiral-shaped bacteria while doing stomach biopsies of patients with gastritis.

Then a crazy thing happened: The Easter Breakthrough.

In 1982, a lab technician accidentally left their samples in the incubator for five days over the Easter holiday instead of the two-day standard at the time. This mistake allowed enough time for the H. pylori colonies to grow and appear.

By 1983, Marshall had isolated the bacteria and found that it was present in 100% of the patients they tested who had ulcers.

They had discovered the cause of ulcers.

They presented their findings at a conference in Brussels. Their hope was that they had discovered a cure for an extremely painful disease that sentenced patients to a lifetime of eating bland foods and antacid pills.

Marshall presented his findings at the conference in Brussels and the crowd celebrated his massive accomplishment. He received a standing ovation, he was Time’s Person of the Year, millions of patients around the globe were cured, and Marshall was celebrated as a hero.

Wait, I’m sorry, I got that wrong.

The medical community viciously attacked him, saying that he was a “young nobody from Perth” who had no reputation, and senior doctors even called his theory “reckless and preposterous.” They said the stomach is a sterile environment and that no bacteria could survive in that acidic environment.

Another group within the medical establishment believed that almost all diseases were “repressed emotional responses.” They said: “The critical factor in the development of ulcers is the frustration associated with the wish to receive love.”

They literally thought ulcers were caused by people not getting enough love.

Marshall was devastated, frustrated, and a bit angry that no one was listening to him, looking at the evidence, or—more importantly—helping the patients.

Marshall attempted to perform studies to prove his theory, but the medical establishment kept throwing up roadblocks. In order to run a human test, he had to reproduce the results in animals first, but that didn’t work in this case.

So what did he do? He tested it on the “only ethical subject”: himself.

In 1984, Marshall took the bacteria from an infected patient and drank it himself!

After three days, he developed nausea and halitosis (extreme bad breath) because the bacteria neutralized his stomach acid. By day eight, an endoscopy showed massive stomach inflammation and colonies of the bacteria H. pylori.

By day 10, the endoscopy found a raw, red, inflamed stomach lining. By day 14, Marshall began to fear for his health and started a therapy of antibiotics and bismuth.

Marshall had just proven that H. pylori caused gastritis, and gastritis eventually causes ulcers.

But even after the experiment, the medical establishment wouldn’t surrender or change course!

In 1985, he successfully published his self-experiment in the Medical Journal of Australia. But it was largely ignored.

For a decade, ulcer victims had started talking about an “underground cure” called “the Marshall Treatment.” This was basically antibiotics.

It wasn’t for another full decade (1994) until the National Institutes of Health officially stated that most ulcers were caused by H. pylori and should be treated with antibiotics.

This change effectively killed the billion-dollar market for long-term antacid maintenance, which Marshall later called “the ultimate satisfaction.”

And it wasn’t for another decade until Marshall received the Nobel Prize in 2005.

Today, about half of the decline in stomach cancer is attributed to Marshall’s discovery.

Marshall’s discovery was ignored for a decade. What was the impact of that? Let’s look at some numbers.

At that time, about 700,000 people died from stomach cancer per year. Let’s say just a modest 25% of those could be saved by Marshall’s solution of “Screen and Treat” with antibiotics.

That means that at least 1,000,000 to 2,000,000 people may have been saved if Marshall’s discovery had been recognized earlier.

Thankfully, in 2005, Marshall and his colleague Robin Warren were awarded the Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine.

Because of Marshall and Warren’s work, the World Health Organization (WHO) now classifies H. pylori as a carcinogen. This discovery also sparked the first “antibiotic cure” for a cancer. A rare type of stomach tumor called MALT lymphoma can often be completely cured just by taking antibiotics to kill the bacteria.

I love this story because it’s a perfect case study in how the “experts” can be dead wrong for decades. It’s a classic case of “appeal to authority,” where “experts” dismissed the correct answer, not because of fundamental truth, but only because Marshall was not a part of their Tribe. He wasn’t an “expert”. It’s a reminder that people that change the world and make massive discoveries are often considered heretics, stupid, evil, or worse.

The establishment chose to believe ulcers were caused by a “lack of love” rather than a bacteria because their dogma was profitable and comfortable.

It is another reminder that the system isn’t built to find the truth. It is built to protect itself and if you want to do something great or different, it could take you decades of being called a monster before anyone ever believes you. Just ask Alan Turing or Galileo.

I’m very sorry for the lack of updates lately. Santa brought our 7 year old a ATV 4-wheeler for Christmas and I flipped it and broke 3 ribs. I’m recovering now but it was a rough patch there. Thank you for your patience!

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Real verification comes from outcomes. If someone claims gravity pulls mass toward Earth’s center, drop a ball and see. Don’t just ask the professor if gravity exists.

I’m baffled why we keep believing people who are constantly wrong.

Like predicting we will run out of oil in 20 years, then 20 years pass, and it hasn’t. You shouldn’t trust that person anymore. But we do.

Or claiming an education reform will improve test scores, but scores plummet.

Or claiming tariffs will skyrocket inflation, and it doesn’t. Stop trusting them.

Or invading a foreign country will protect us from a threat and it turns out the threat was a lie.

Or that a healthcare reform will reduce our costs, but they increase.

They keep being wrong. But they keep getting invited back to make predictions!

Experts and models don’t matter. What happened does.

This applies to all sides.

To be clear: Being wrong once isn’t a life sentence. That’s unfair. That would prevent learning.

But making the same prediction for years, getting proven wrong repeatedly, never apologizing, then doubling down on the disproven claim? That’s unforgivable.

It’s insanity.

I see it every time I make the mistake of turning on the news: The same career-long failures doubling down, moving goalposts.

They think we’re stupid. And given how we keep listening, they might be right.

—

This is why it’s so stupid to debate these things - yet that is almost all you see in political talks.

It’s two idiots debating some untestable prediction about the future that may never come. They yell at each other claiming they are certain of what will happen in the future… then idiotically they never come back to test what actually happened.

They just move on to the next pointless argument.

But, betting solves this.

Anytime someone is trying to debate you about something… ask them to frame it into a testable bet instead.

You’ll find that in almost all cases, the debate will disappear. Becauase they aren’t looking for truth. They are looking for a safe fight. A nerf warriror. They want to pretend they are in battle but without any real risk.

They just want to _feel_ like they are right.

They don’t actually care if they are factually right.

And when they get to make policies that we all have to live with, we all suffer.

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“There exists in such a case a certain institution or law; let us say, for the sake of simplicity, a fence or gate erected across a road. The more modern type of reformer goes gaily up to it and says, ‘I don’t see the use of this; let us clear it away.’

To which the more intelligent type of reformer will do well to answer: ‘If you don’t see the use of it, I certainly won’t let you clear it away. Go away and think. Then, when you can come back and tell me that you do see the use of it, I may allow you to destroy it.”

But here is my version…

A man is walking a new piece of property he recently acquired when he comes across a fence that seems out of place and unnecessary. The man begins removing the fence, and soon the nice elderly woman next door approaches him and asks, “What is the purpose of that fence you are taking down?” The man replies, “It serves no purpose, so I’m clearing it away.”

The woman replies, “It sure looks like someone took a lot of time, care, and resources to erect that fence. Are you certain you know its purpose before you set out to destroy it?”

The man grows frustrated that this stranger is telling him how to manage his new property. Showing his frustration, he replies, “Please mind your own business and allow me to improve my property.” The lady shakes her head and returns to her house.

But the next June, they awaken to find their crops trampled. A bug that only spawns between June and July had reappeared, flooding their fields. And when the rabbits, raccoons, and other critters came to eat them, they trampled the entire crop, destroying the family’s income for that year.

When I was younger, I wanted to reform everything. I would come across a fence and want to destroy it. But the fence most likely served a greater purpose that I was unaware of. Tearing down the fence could result in unintended consequences in the future.

Think about when you come across a stop sign that seems pointless. Maybe it was erected because of repeated fatal accidents at that intersection over the years.

Think about the new “boss” at work that comes in and tries to “fix” everything but is actually destroying decades of progress and improvements that the previous team only learned through the scar tissue of their experiences. (This explains exactly how I felt after we sold Liquid Web and the new guys came in and changed everything! Only now, 10 years later, are they realizing that may have made a mistake.)

There is another recent example that sticks out to me and that all parents deal with and something that caused massive harm to thousands, maybe millions, of kids.

Around the year 2000, a committee of pediatricians came across a proverbial fence. Parents were feeding their children cows milk, eggs, peanuts and fish for thousands of years. The pediatricians were trying to reduce allergies, which can sometimes be very severe, in their young patients.

The pediatricians convened a committee and came up with the “1, 2, 3 rule”. It was their “expert opinion” that parents should delay cows milk until age 1, eggs until age 2, nuts and fish until age 3.

This was a massive change for parents and a large educational campaign commenced with pediatricians everywhere warning their patients to avoid these foods

or risk allergies in their children.

So what was the result? In 2000, the rate of peanut allergies in kids was about .4% and severe peanut allergy was extremely rare. Within 2 years, the rate had doubled to .8%. Today, the rate is about 2% or more. But most troubling, the rate of severe peanut allergy and death has skyrocketed. Which is why schools and daycares have to treat peanuts as if they are a biological weapon and ban them everywhere.

By removing what seemed like a fence, natural early exposure, experts created an epidemic of food allergies that harmed an entire generation of kids.

It’s easy to laugh at the mistakes of past experts with the benefit of hindsight. But the truth is, we are all standing in fields full of old fences. Some are wise, some are useless, some are harmful to leave standing, and some are dangerous to tear down. The lesson of Chesterton’s Fence is not to avoid change. It is to stop, ask why something exists, and understand the scar tissue that built it before you swing the hammer. History shows us clearly that rushing to remove a fence without knowing its purpose often makes things worse, not better.

If you enjoyed this all I ask is that you tell me, or share it with a friend. Thank you!

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It also marks about a decade of my fascination with education in the United States.

I consider myself lucky to be in Haslett. We’re not perfect, and COVID definitely impacted our kids, but our academic performance has been stronger than almost all of the surrounding communities.

Especially compared to Holt, where I graduated. I say this with sadness, not superiority. Holt has not been doing well lately.

This journey has taken me deep into the world of education. I’ve asked hard questions like, why did schools move away from using phonics instruction to teach reading?

Books like The Knowledge Gap and podcasts like Sold a Story helped me understand the system, and more importantly, helped me intervene to teach our 7-year-old how to actually read.

I also became a Certified School Board Member through MASB, which opened my eyes to how school districts really operate, the trade-offs, the complexity, the constraints.

One of the most inspiring examples I’ve found is what people call the Mississippi Miracle.

In 2013, Mississippi ranked 49th in 4th grade reading scores. By 2022, they were 21st overall, and top 5 in the country for Black, low-income, and special education students. They focused on direct instruction, phonics, teacher training, and retention policies. It worked.

All of that has been fascinating.

But nothing has impressed me as much as Alpha School.

What Is Alpha School?

Alpha School is a high-end private school, built from the ground up like a product, designed to make school awesome for kids. At the center is a powerful learning engine they call, Time Back.

Students come in and spend just two hours a day with the AI-powered tutor. This tutor delivers direct instruction, constantly adapting based on what the student needs. As Joe puts it, your age grade and your knowledge grade are two totally different things.

The system teaches to mastery, not to the average. Every lesson is personalized, every gap is closed. Students learn 10 times faster, and consistently perform in the top 1% nationally. The real unlock is time back.

With core academics finished in two hours, students have four more hours each day to focus on “life skills” workshops. Getting their Time Back is a huge motivation for the students.

Life skills workshops include things like leadership, financial literacy, public speaking, entrepreneurship projects like running a food truck, robotics, sports, and chess tournaments. The rest of the day is team-based, project-based, and fun. It’s not screen time — it’s real-world preparation. As Joe says, the key to motivation is progress and choice, and Alpha delivers both.

Here’s how Alpha works, and why it’s blowing my mind.

Alpha’s 5 Core Commitments

* Kids Must Love SchoolNot tolerate it: love it. Alpha students are asked, would you rather go to school or go on vacation? Last year some of their high schoolers said, can we skip summer break because we don’t want to stop. That kind of love.

* Kids Must Learn 10x FasterAlpha has built a two-hour academic model using AI and learning science. Students spend two hours a day with their AI tutor, and that’s it. Their academic performance is in the top 1% nationally. It’s not that the kids are smarter, it’s that the model works better.

* The Rest of the Day Is for LifeWith the academic work done in the morning, the rest of the day is for life skills. Workshops on leadership, public speaking, entrepreneurship, personal finance, and teamwork. Real skills, no busywork, no screens.

* Guides Instead of TeachersAlpha doesn’t have traditional teachers. They have Guides. These adults are responsible for making sure kids love school, learn quickly, and grow as people. They don’t lecture. They coach, support, and hold students to high expectations.

* High Standards Create Happy KidsThis one is the most opposite of all. Alpha believes happiness comes from high standards, not low ones. Kids struggle, fail, cry, and then succeed. That builds real confidence and resilience. That’s the kind of happiness that lasts.

What Joe Discovered About Education

Joe is not an educator. He’s a systems guy. A product builder. Which means he noticed things that others missed.

Here are some of the biggest things Alpha has uncovered:

* Motivation is 90% of the solutionThe problem isn’t attention span or tech, it’s motivation. When school only takes two hours a day, every kid wants to learn. Giving kids their time back is the unlock.

* Swiss cheese knowledge doesn’t workIn the traditional model, kids move onto the next grade even if they only understand 70% of the material. That creates holes in knowledge and those holes lead to failure later. Alpha on the other hand, enforces mastery. Students must get over 90% before they move on.

* “A” students can still be behindAlpha has seen students with 4.0 GPAs at other schools, who are actually two or three years behind in core subjects. The old system rewards compliance, not mastery. One girl had a 740 on the SAT. She went back to third grade math, fixed the foundation, and scored a 790.

* Catching up takes less time than you thinkA student who is three years behind can often catch up in 60 hours. One subject, one grade level, done in 20 to 30 hours. It’s not magic. It’s just focus and a system that works.

* Every kid can be top 10%Research shows that with a tutor and mastery-based learning, average students can outperform 90% of their peers. Alpha believes 95% of eighth graders in America could be top 10% performers with the right system.

* IQ doesn’t limit outcomes anymoreIn the old model, your performance was tied to your IQ. At Alpha, it’s tied to your effort. That shift makes achievement a decision, not a destiny.

* AI unlocks personalized learningAlpha uses generative AI to build custom lessons based on each kid’s interests and knowledge gaps. They’ve even taught World War I through Taylor Swift metaphors. That’s not a joke. It’s real.

Why It Matters

Alpha isn’t just a different school, it’s a different category.

This isn’t an experiment. It’s a product. Built with intention. Measured by results. Scaled with clarity.

They’re opening new campuses. They’re launching specialty models like the Texas Sports Academy for D1-bound athletes. They’re not slowing down.

We need more conversations about this. More public awareness. More experiments. Because what we’re doing isn’t working. Not for kids, not for parents, not for teachers.

Alpha feels like the opposite of what we’ve accepted as normal.

And maybe that’s what we need most.

— What do you think about Alpha School?

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First I gave the standard BS response.

“Advice is always worth less than you pay for it, so this is probably useless. But my advice is, it’s not what you make, it’s what you spend. I love this quote: “you’ve already reached the goals that you promised would make you happy”. Don’t keep up with the joneses.”

But that was crap. It was fortune cookie wisdom that wasn’t helpful at all. I wanted to try to do better by them and give them a practical roadmap. So here it is:

“Actually I thought about this more. I didn’t give you tangible advice. Now I’m going to. This is what you do TODAY.

Pick the person in your life that you love and respect that you consider “rich”. Approach them and say: “I’ve always admired how you handle money and I’ve been struggling. Would you take me under your wing and teach me how to be rich?”

I have never met anyone that would turn down that request.

Next: give them EVERYTHING. Your credit card bills statements, your dark secrets, your mortgage, your W2 statements, your last 3 year tax returns.

Then commit to them that you’ll do whatever they say for 5 years.

Have them put you on a budget. Have them look at your skills and your work opportunities.

Have them coach you on interviewing for jobs.

Ask them to introduce you to other successful people.

I am confident this will get you to where you want to be in 5 years.

With one caveat: you must follow their advice and pick the right person to emulate.

I wish you nothing but success!

Bonus tip: never take money advice from people that don’t have it. And from my experience, often times the person driving a beat down F150 has $500k in the bank while the dude in a suit driving the BMW has $500k in debt.

Money SHOUTS.

Wealth whispers.”

That’s it. It’s simple. But it’s not easy. But anyone can do it.

I’m curious: What advice would you give them?

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We alerted the police and shared our video footage in hopes it would help track down the thief. And, as is common now, we posted the videos to our local Facebook groups to warn neighbors and see if anyone else had been hit.

It turns out the suspect may have broken into hundreds of cars, covering multiple miles from at least 3:30 a.m. to 5:30 a.m.

Most of the comments we received were supportive and helpful. People tried to identify the suspect and reminded others to stay alert.

But there’s a different kind of response that shows up too. “Maybe lock your doors and keep valuables out.” “When will people learn to lock their doors?”

Those types of comments got a lot of likes, and they’re not uncommon.

When our window was broken at Slice by Saddleback and the cash register stolen, people said we deserved it because we hadn’t left the till open to show there was no cash inside.

A few things are true here. Yes, we could have locked our doors. That’s correct.

But it’s also true that it’s not our fault someone tried to steal from us.

This is called moral inversion. It’s similar to the old lines like, “She shouldn’t have dressed that way if she didn’t want to get attacked,” or “You shouldn’t walk through that neighborhood if you don’t want to get robbed.”

It’s victim blaming. It flips the morality around. It implies that unless we secure every item and lock every door, we are responsible for the actions of people who break the law. That kind of thinking erodes trust.

And trust is what community depends on.

When I walk down the street with my kids, I trust that drivers won’t run us over. When I eat at a restaurant, I trust that nobody put something disgusting in my food. We rely on each other, every day, in thousands of small ways.

A world without trust is a world where we wall ourselves off from each other, where we assume everyone is a threat. That’s not the world I want to live in, and it’s not what I want for my family.

I want us to live in a high trust society where we believe in the goodness of our neighbors. I want to live in a world where our kids can ride their bike to school and eat halloween candy from their friends and neighbors.

I’m willing to take that risk because even though there are monsters out there, their numbers are small. And I’d rather live life giving the benefit of the doubt to the amazing people all around me, even the strangers, than assuming that everyone is a monster out to attack me.

Yes, I might get let down now and then. A window might get broken. Something might get taken. But if the cost of trust is an occasional setback, it’s still far cheaper than letting fear run my life.

A few bad nights aren’t worth poisoning all the good ones. I’d rather face the risk of a broken window than live with a broken worldview.

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I wrote this on the day Brady was born, but I didn’t feel comfortable releasing it until now. I’m embarrassed to admit how often I write a post but I’m too much of a coward to release it because of fear. Anyway, here it is…

On Parenting, Policy, and Trust

I’m running into this again and again. I’m being told how to raise my kid by people who speak with total confidence but don’t have the evidence to back it up. First it was postpartum exercise. Then co-sleeping. Then newborn sleep, feeding, meds, positions. All of it.

Take the postpartum workout restriction. Laken was told not to exercise for six weeks after birth. No nuance. Just a flat-out rule. But when I dug into it, I couldn’t find any randomized controlled trials (RCTs) proving that intense exercise before six weeks postpartum causes harm. Most studies actually show that light to moderate activity within 2–4 weeks is not only safe but also beneficial, especially for mental health. The PAMELA trial, for example, found improved mood and no complications from early activity. Another study in Frontiers in Psychology showed reduced anxiety with postpartum aquatic exercise starting around 4–6 weeks. No RCTs showed harm from earlier or more intense activity. None.

The six-week rule is based on tradition and expert opinion, not hard data. It reminds me of old hip replacement protocols, when doctors used to keep patients immobile for weeks. That delayed healing. Now, patients get up within hours. What if postpartum care is stuck in the same outdated thinking?

Then there’s co-sleeping. We were told that if we sleep with Brady, he could die. Period. Again, it sounded final. But when I dug deeper, I found that most of the data comes from unsafe environments, sofas, intoxicated parents, loose bedding, or premature babies. I couldn’t find a single documented case where a full-term baby died while sleeping in a safe bed with a healthy, sober, non-smoking, alert parent in a safe setup. Not one. Yet we’re treated like we’re reckless just for asking the question.

The deeper I look, the more I realize these aren’t solid, research-backed facts. They’re guidelines written by committees, made for the lowest common denominator, passed off as “science.”

They’re based on risk reduction for a system that assumes most people won’t take care of themselves, won’t ask questions, won’t think for themselves. So they make rules to cover the masses and act like they apply to everyone.

They treat me like I’m stupid, reckless, or drunk. I’m not. I’m a fully capable, sober, alert father. And I want real information, not patronizing lectures and oversimplified warnings. I want the truth. Not broad strokes built for fear and liability.

It feels like collectivism disguised as care. A nanny state in a lab coat. Disconnected from tradition, from cultural wisdom, from what parents have done for thousands of years. And it leaves no space for personal responsibility, nuance, or trust.

I don’t want rules made for people who aren’t paying attention.

I’m paying attention. I’m asking questions. I’m choosing to be fully present.

That should count for something.

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At about 461 acres, it is actually larger than most lakes in Michigan. When you look at the distribution of inland lakes statewide, the vast majority are under 100 acres, so by comparison, Lake Lansing is in the upper tier of size. It is our one and only lake. Obviously, I am biased because I live on it, but here is my bold three-point plan to improve the perception of the lake, increase its usability, return it to a more natural state, and increase property values around it by 50 percent.

1. Making Lake Lansing’s Pathways Safe for Everyone

First, improving the safety of the running and bike path around the lake. In Haslett, we are blessed with an absolutely amazing park system and River Trail. I think the North Lake Lansing Park is one of the most beautiful in the area, maybe in the entire state, and I think it is completely missed by most people. The trails through that park are glorious, and you go through at least two or three different types of forests when you're out there. It's absolutely spectacular.

But one area where we need improvement is the running and bike path around the lake. A lot of it is on Lake Drive, and while it's a beautiful drive, it’s incredibly risky. You basically run/walk on the shoulder of the road and the shoulders are not very big, and it’s very windy, so drivers often don't see the runner until the last minute.

I joke with my friends that running is probably the thing that will save my life, but it will also be the thing that kills me, because I'll probably get hit by a car on that run. It's a joke, but there's definitely some truth in it.

There’s been more than one time that I've looked up and seen a driver coming at me, distracted and not looking at the road.

The other issue is that the path isn't safe for children, so we can't let our seven-year-old ride around the lake because it's just too dangerous. If we expanded the bike lane and maybe put in some barriers between it and the road, I think that would increase the use of the path. It would make it more accessible for children and people with disabilities. And that connection point would allow it to link up with the River Trail, Lake Lansing Park North, Lake Lansing Park South, and many other parks.

It would also connect to the larger River Trail, giving access to East Lansing, Lansing, Old Town, Holt, Mason, & pretty much everywhere in the area.

2. Dredge Lake Lansing to an Average Depth of 12 Feet

Next point: dredging Lake Lansing. Lake Lansing is a notoriously treacherous lake because it has so many shallow points. The marinas in the area joke about how many people damage the propeller on their boat on Lake Lansing. It has been dredged in the past, but I think we should do it again. Because Lake Lansing has an average depth between four and ten feet, light penetrates all the way to the bottom, which allows weeds to grow. That means the lake has to be treated to kill off the weeds and vegetation to make it usable.

If we were to dredge Lake Lansing to an average depth of 12 to 15 feet, light wouldn't be able to penetrate all the way to the bottom, meaning that weeds wouldn't grow as much, and we wouldn’t have to treat the lake so often. I believe this would help return it to a more natural state and reduce the use of hard chemicals that tend to accumulate at the bottom of the lake.

One challenge for dredging, besides the cost, is deciding where to put the dirt. One suggestion might be to create an island in the middle of the lake with the dredged material, keeping it within the same lake community. This would increase the usability of the lake and make it even more amazing. I have to confess, I really think Lake Lansing is amazing, and it’s a bummer how much of a bad rap it gets.

Because Lake Lansing only has a few narrow channels of deep water, speedboats generally accumulate and go back and forth between the South Park swimming area and the north end. This creates congestion, because all the larger boats and those engaging in water sports tend to operate in the same area. It also means that oftentimes boats cannot go the legally required counterclockwise direction around the lake, especially when towing a skier, because it’s simply not possible.

3. Attract Younger Residents and Visitors to the Lake

Once those two things are done, I think this would attract more young people from surrounding communities and from MSU to use the lake. Within a few generations, the general negative perception about the lake could be replaced with a positive one. That would mean more people wanting to use it, and more people wanting to live on it.

I think these three steps would conservatively increase the property values around the lake by 50%. They would make the lake much more desirable, more natural, more beautiful, and more usable for a wider variety of water sports. And they would increase water quality because of fewer weeds, which would require fewer chemical treatments.

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So five years later, what happened?

The tax brought in new money at first. It raised $231 million in 2021, $293 million in 2022, and $310 million in 2023. That was new additional tax money. Everything looked good at first.

But with the new revenue, Seattle spent heavily on affordable housing projects, poured millions into climate programs and small business grants, and then started using large chunks of the tax to plug holes in the general fund when other revenues fell short. They burned through the money as fast as it came in, expanding spending instead of fixing the budget.

But now Seattle is facing a $247 million budget shortfall over the next two years. As KIRO 7 reported: “This is catastrophic.”

Why? Because companies responded by leaving. Amazon moved 25,000 jobs to Bellevue. Meta cut 3,600 jobs. Expedia cut 1,500. Other companies froze hiring or quietly moved out.

Seattle taxed its economic engine, and the engine left.

Instead of using the new tax to stabilize the budget, the city just spent more. Now that tax revenue is flattening, the spending binge is catching up with them.

If this continues, the payroll tax could shrink enough to flip into a net loss within two to five years.

But what about the main goal — reducing homelessness?

In 2019, Seattle and King County counted 11,199 people experiencing homelessness. By 2024, that number had jumped to 16,868. That is a 51 percent increase since before the tax passed.

So to sum it up — Seattle raised taxes, spent every dollar of new revenue, drove out jobs, blew up its budget, and made homelessness worse.

So what can we/I learn from this?

Raising tax rates does not guarantee more revenue or better results. This is one of the biggest misconceptions that I had for my entire life. In many cases raising taxes actually drives away jobs and weakens the economy and ultimately reduces the tax revenue in the long run. This is very counterintuitive but Seattle just proved it. Again.

* How to use AI to create a poem for your grandson

* How to use AI to review a lease for you or your family member

* How to use AI to create a logo for your business or side project

* How to use AI to plan a vacation customized to your interests

* How to use AI to code your own version of Tetris! (Seriously!)

I was recently at a dinner with several of my moms cousins. They are all successful business executives who have retired and they were discussing how they wanted to get started with Artificial Intelligence but didn’t know where to begin. I mentioned some of the things that I take for granted about using AI and their minds were pretty blown.

I mentioned this to some of my friends and they all said that they were interested in learning more about AI too.

So, to solve this problem, I have teamed up with my good friend and AI expert, Joe Dearman to offer a 3 hour hands-on in person AI training. It is Saturday, April 5 · 1 - 4pm EDT.

We are still nailing down the location but it will be in the greater lansing area. We are limiting the first class to 30 attendees. 7 spots are already gone.

This training is for beginners and intermediate AI users. You do NOT need to have experience with AI to attend. But you do have to be relatively computer and smartphone savvy. Which just means you need to be able to download apps onto your phone and work with them easily.

This class is designed for my family members that are interested in learning about AI but they don’t want to wade through the vast number of Youtube videos and how-to Google searches. If you are looking for a hands-on in-person session to have your mind blown about the practical ways you can use AI today - this is your class!

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:

* What is AI? (Hint: It’s not magic, but it sure feels like it.)

* How to use AI in your daily life (Save time, make better decisions, automate tasks.)

* How to set up and install AI tools (No technical background required.)

* How to prompt AI to get exactly what you need (Stop getting bad answers—get precision.)

* How to use AI for work (Automate emails, reports, research—work smarter, not harder.)

* How to use AI to generate images (Create stunning visuals with a few words.)

* How to process long documents & summarize key points (Turn hours of reading into minutes.)

* How to use AI for learning & education (AI tutors? Yes, they exist—and they’re amazing.)

* How to use Voice AI (AI that talks back intelligently.)

* How to do deep research with AI (Find the truth, cut through the noise.)

* How to verify news stories with AI (Detect misinformation like a pro.)

* How to use ChatGPT, Grok, and other top AI tools (Which AI tool does what best?)

WHO IS THIS FOR?

* Anyone who has heard of AI but doesn’t know where to start.

* Professionals who want to work smarter, not harder.

* People who don’t want to get left behind in the AI revolution.

* Business owners who want a competitive edge.

WHO’S TEACHING THIS?

Travis Stoliker – That’s me! Serial entrepreneur (Liquid Web, TechSmith, Saddleback BBQ, Social Ops, Gyroaster (The World’s Best Marshmallow Roaster!), Growth Factory). Scaled companies, built tech products, and now showing you how to leverage AI.

Joseph Dearman – Product designer of award-winning tools (Coach's Eye, Camtasia). Using AI to build professional AI-powered products, games, and passionate about maximizing impact with AI.

So seriously, what is so cool about AI? Why should I do this? Check this out…

Tutorial: How to create a logo for my business or side project in less than a minute.

Tutorial: How to write a beautiful poem for my grandson’s birthday

Tutorial: Use AI to plan your vacation trip itinerary personalized to your preferences

Tutorial: How to use AI to review a lease, summarize it, point out problem areas, and negotiate for a better lease on your behalf. Save thousands of dollars on legal fees!

Now for an Advanced Tutorial! How you can use AI to Create your own Games & Applications! Code your own Tetris in a few minutes.

Register Now for: Artificial Intelligence Training & Learn AI in 3 Hours.

* Sat, Apr 5, 2025, 1pm to 4:00pm

* Special offer for Year Of The Opposite Subscribers! Get $100 off the registration fee if you use the Promo Code: YOTO at checkout!

Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Unlike socialism, which focuses on redistributing wealth, capitalism multiplies it. Take Peter Thiel’s $500,000 investment in Mark Zuckerberg in 2004. At the time, Thiel was the wealthier of the two. But as Facebook scaled, Zuckerberg became exponentially richer than Thiel—while Thiel still walked away vastly wealthier than before. That’s the power of investment: it creates more wealth for everyone involved, rather than just shifting it around.

Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

The Difference Between Helping and Hurting

The problem with socialism—and even well-intentioned charity—is that it often weakens the very people it’s trying to help. Giving someone a fish feeds them for a day, but teaching them to fish feeds them for a lifetime. Yet capitalism takes it further—it builds the fishing industry, funding boats, bait companies, and supply chains that allow entire communities to sustain themselves indefinitely.

On the other hand, if we contrast that with TOMS Shoes’ “Buy One, Give One” model. The idea was simple: for every pair of shoes sold, they donated a pair to someone in need. It sounded great—but in practice, it wiped out local shoemakers in many African and Latin American countries. By flooding the market with free shoes, TOMS put local businesses out of work, leaving communities more dependent rather than self-sufficient. What seemed like generosity actually eroded economic independence—because giving isn’t always helping.

Charity Without Investment Creates Dependence

This doesn’t just happen on a macro level; it happens in personal relationships too. Think about a family member who struggles with addiction or gambling. Giving them money doesn’t fix their problem—it fuels it. Paying off their debts or covering their rent doesn’t make them more responsible—it teaches them that someone else will always bail them out.

Real help isn’t a handout; it’s an investment in transformation. Just like an entrepreneur needs mentorship, capital, and a path to self-sufficiency, struggling individuals need accountability, discipline, and real stakes in their own success. Without personal responsibility, no amount of outside aid will create lasting change.

The True Social Good of Capitalism

This is why capitalism isn’t just about making money—it’s about creating opportunity. When you invest in a person, a business, or a system, you’re not just providing resources—you’re building capacity. You’re giving people the ability to create, grow, and become self-sufficient rather than remain dependent.

The beauty of capitalism is that it aligns incentives and scales effort. It doesn’t just redistribute fish—it builds a fishing economy. It’s socialism reimagined—not as a static transfer of wealth, but as a system where success fuels more success.

The more we understand this, the more we can use capitalism to empower rather than enable—to build instead of just give. And that’s what makes it the only system of shared wealth that truly works.

My research project this week was about the microplastics we keep hearing about in our water bottles. As you read this one, please remember, absence of evidence isn’t the same as evidence of harm. I do NOT want to worry anyone. But with all the talk about plastics in our water, I thought it was a good time to explore the plastic pipes that are in many of our houses. This is what I found out.

Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

We’ve all heard the concerns about microplastics in water bottles—especially when you leave them in a hot car. But here’s a twist: the water lines running through many modern American homes are now made of plastic, too. It’s called PEX (cross-linked polyethylene). And despite its widespread use, there are no large-scale, long-term human studies—or even randomized controlled trials—confirming whether PEX is 100% safe for our health.

Before you panic, keep in mind that the absence of evidence isn’t the same as evidence of harm. It just means research on PEX as a drinking water pathway hasn’t fully caught up with its popularity. Here’s the story so far:

A Quick History of PEX

• 1960s: PEX technology emerged, originally used for radiant floor heating in Europe.

• 1980s–1990s: U.S. building codes gradually allowed its use for potable water.

• 2000s: PEX gained traction as a flexible, freeze-resistant, and cost-effective alternative to copper or PVC.

By now, it’s the go-to solution for new builds and retrofits. Architects, plumbers, and homeowners alike praise its bendable nature, fewer connection points, and resistance to corrosion.

What the Studies Say

• Chemical Leaching: Laboratory tests have detected small amounts of volatile organic compounds (VOCs), like MTBE, that can leach out of PEX into standing water (particularly when new). Researchers found these levels drop with regular use and flushing.

• Taste and Odor: Some people report a temporary plastic taste or odor from new PEX. Studies suggest it usually fades over time.

• Microplastics?: Most available data focus on chemical migration, not tiny plastic particles. Current regulatory checks haven’t flagged microplastics as a concern with PEX, but the research is still thin.

Regulatory Green Light

PEX is approved under NSF/ANSI 61, a standard that tests for any contaminants leaching into drinking water at levels above acceptable thresholds. It also meets ASTM specifications for durability and performance. Local codes rely on these certifications to ensure PEX is safe for installation.

Here’s the rub: certification is not the same as a 20-year population study. Instead, it involves lab-based testing against chemical limits. Many experts consider it sufficient. Others wonder what the unresearched long-term effects might be.

Where This Stands

• Widely Used, Light on Human Data: Millions of homes already have PEX, with very few reported issues. But we still lack large-scale, longitudinal health research tracking real-world outcomes over decades.

• Absence of Evidence ≠ Evidence of Harm: No data says PEX is dangerous. No data says it’s perfectly harmless. It’s simply a technology that outpaced in-depth human trials.

• Takeaway: If microplastics in water bottles worry you, it’s worth asking what other plastic pathways your drinking water flows through—and whether you’re comfortable with the relative unknowns.

Want to try a new perspective this week? Rethink your assumptions about what “safe” really means. Just because something passes today’s regulatory hurdles doesn’t guarantee a well of peer-reviewed, long-term RCT data. Sometimes we accept what’s proven to “work fine” without a definitive 40-year, double-blind experiment behind it.

That’s not necessarily bad—it’s just where we stand right now. If you’re feeling curious or concerned, do a little digging into how your home’s water system is built. It might surprise you how many modern houses rely on plastic from the curb to the kitchen sink.

But we also must keep in mind to always ask ourselves: “Compared to What?” Meaning, if we don’t want our water to be stored in or transported in Plastic, are we safer if it is transported in metal? Lead? (Flint?) Buckets? Rivers? All of these sources have concerns and contaminants of their own. I guess this is all to say, it’s complicated.

Stay curious. Stay positive.

-Travis

Further Reading

1. Residential Tap Water Contamination Following the Use of Crosslinked Polyethylene (PEX) Potable Water Pipes (Whelton et al., 2014)

2. Volatile Organic Components Migrating from Plastic Pipes (HDPE, PEX, and PVC) into Drinking Water (Skjevrak et al., 2003)

On December 15th, 2024, Bill Hamilton, the Founder of TechSmith died from a heart attack at the age of 77.

Bill Hamilton was the greatest entrepreneur of the Lansing area in this century. Arguably more.

He was a husband, a father, a veteran, a computer programmer, a Spartan, an amateur ham radio enthusiast, a competitive shooter, an avid reader, a history expert, a philanthropist, and to me personally - he was my second father, a mentor and one of the greatest people I’ve ever known.

Bill Hamilton is the reason I finished college, the reason I love to read, the reason I’m an entrepreneur, the reason I love software & tech, the reason I am skeptical, the reason I got on my first airplane, and so much more.

I can’t begin to imagine the hole that has been left in the heart of his family, especially his loving wife Susan and his daughter Wendy, whom I have come to know best. My love and support go out to them and his entire family.

Bill co-founded TechSmith all the way back in 1987. It was a software consulting company, and one of the products they developed to serve their clients was, I believe, the first-ever “screen capture” tool.

At the time, TechSmith was mainly doing consulting work for clients, but Bill had ambitions to become a software product company.

They had the brilliant idea to give away Snagit for free on a “shareware” site that allowed users to download free applications. Remember, this was pretty revolutionary at the time. At this time, mostly the way you would buy software was to walk into a brick and mortar retail store and buy packaged software off a shelf like a book.

Downloads of Snagit exploded so they decided to start offering customers the option to donate money to the company. And they did! All the sudden, TechSmith was a software company.

The company built visual communication software. Snagit for taking pictures of the Screen. Then Camtasia Studio for recording videos of the screen. Camtasia was the product that I helped grow under the leadership of Troy Stein.

Bill was built different and he built TechSmith unlike any other company that I had ever seen. When I joined TechSmith in 2003, I believe there were about 50 employees. TechSmith was like paradise to me.

There was an employee lounge with free pop, snacks, and every Friday the company catered meals for “Free food friday” where they would select the best restaurants from around the area and even sometimes - the best ice cream.

But it wasn’t the perk of getting to eat for free - Bill did it because he wanted his employees to sit together and get to know one another. It was all to build trust and community amongst his employees. This was something I directly emulated (Ahem, Stole) at Liquid Web.

Everything Bill did in the company was to build a culture where the employee was supported, mentored, taught, and grown into a better person. Bill encouraged dissent. He encouraged people to always have one thing in mind: What is best for the customer?

When I joined the company I was 22 years old. I was a young punk kid that knew nothing about software, the internet, business, - or anything - really.

At the time I was applying for the job, I was nearly bankrupt after starting a company that failed and taking a loan out from my generous parents that I was at risk of not being able to repay. I was bitter from my previous experience at Millenium Digital Media and felt that I had been treated unfairly, so I had a big chip on my shoulder.

I came into TechSmith with the attitude of literally - “Fuc& it. I’m going to speak my mind, they are going to fire me anyway.”

Bill had another incredible gift. He believed in complete transparency and honesty. Almost anyone in the company could run sales reports and see detailed financial information about the products and the company itself. In most companies, only the elite top of the company has the privilege of seeing this “sensitive” information.

But Bill believed that the best ideas can come from anywhere within the organization and that we should all work from the same set of facts. He also encouraged people to sit in on meetings, even on topics that they were not the expert.

I want to take a minute to go back to a post that I wrote just 4 short months ago. I am SO glad that I wrote this and took the time to honor the man I admired:

“Bill Hamilton at TechSmith will always be like a second father to me.

I didn't really know what software was when I was hired, and I certainly had no idea what it meant to invent a software application, do the coding to develop it, market it to customers, to become a multimillion-dollar product. TechSmith was one of the most beautiful companies I've ever worked for, comprised of some of the smartest people I've ever met in the world.

Being around those people made me smarter, no question—from Brooks Andrus who taught me all things “product”, to Betsy Weber on marketing, Michael Malinak, Paul Middlin, and Dean Craven on software development, Jim Hidlay on Sales, the Gardener twins, (Marty and Murphy) on insanely fast development, Daniel Park, Tony Lambert, Matt Ayo, Paul Wright, Jeff Kohler, Renee Badra, Amy Walsh, Carla Wardin, Tony Dunkle, and my all time favorite: Troy Stein: Troy taught me almost everything. (I know I missed many!!! SORRY!)

But the reason this all happened and the thing that brought us all together was Bill Hamilton.

Bill and his wife Susan created a culture where anyone could have any idea, and the status of the individual presenting the idea did not matter at all. The only thing that mattered was the correctness of the idea and how convincingly you could persuade others to your way of thinking.

I remember being a young punk kid, maybe 21 or 22, essentially doing customer service for sales calls. Even with my low level position, at TechSmith I was encouraged to sit in on some of the development and product marketing meetings for a software application that I knew nothing about. I had no expertise that qualified me to participate in those meetings. Yet, there I was.

I remember one meeting specifically a week or two into my employment that was about the Camtasia Studio’s non-destructive video editor. There were probably 10 brilliant people in the meeting — and me.

As the discussion went around the room and they discussed the product, I had a realization: I knew a little bit about the application because of my experience working at NBC Channel 10. I knew a little -- but not much —just enough to be dangerous.

I also had a chip on my shoulder from being fired from my previous job and after some prodding from Bill Hamilton, I got the courage to speak up.

“Do you guys realize this doesn’t function like any of the other video editing software on the market?” There was an audible gasp in the room as the youngest stupidest person at the table essentially disagreed with every decision that they had previously made.

The person who had hired me into TechSmith tried to get me to stop, but luckily Bill Hamilton was in the room. He embraced me, leaned in, and argued with me passionately. I argued back. I was certain I was going to be fired, but to my surprise, Bill Hamilton took me into the hallway afterward and continued the conversation.

He told me that he appreciated the feedback and welcomed it, and that I should continue to do it and sit in on more meetings. It was truly amazing.

Honestly, I don't even know if I was right about what I was saying. Looking back, I'm sure I probably wasn't, but that taught me the most important lesson of my life.

Surround yourself with smart people who want to hear your opinion regardless of your status, and people who judge you solely based on the content of your character and the quality of your thinking.

TechSmith taught me many things, but the main things it taught me were how to think, how to build companies, how to be skeptical of my own brain, it taught me strategies to disregard status in the search for truth, and taught me the importance of building high-quality teams of the smartest people in the world.

I am incredibly lucky that Bill Hamilton chose to keep TechSmith Corporation in the Lansing, Michigan, area. If it wasn't for that, I truly don't believe I would be the person I am today. That is not to say I am a perfect person. Far from it. But I’d certainly be a much shittier person if it wasn’t for Techsmith!

And this is precisely my point: because of my time at TechSmith, I know that perfection isn't an end state; it is a constant pursuit. The only way you can ever possibly get close to achieving it, which of course is never possible, is by surrounding yourself with smart people and continuing to push and challenge yourself every single day.

So, this concludes another love letter to Bill Hamilton, the founder of TechSmith Corporation.”

As I sit here crying and missing my friend and mentor, I regret a lot. I regret that I never recorded the podcast with him that I had planned to do. I regret that I didn’t join TechSmith after we sold Liquid Web like Bill had hoped I would.

On Monday when my friend Joe Dearman called to give me the news of Bill’s passing I was running at the MAC. Literally the very next thing on my To-Do list was to call Bill and invite him to Lunch with Brooks and Joe the following day.

When Joe told me of the passing of Bill, he mentioned that Bill was just in the office on Wednesday and he was sharp as ever. He also mentioned that on his way out of the meeting Bill said, “Tell Travis I said Hi”.

I cannot believe he is gone. He was healthy and sharp.

About 1/5 of you reading this will die of a heart attack. Of that, about 50% of you will be seemingly healthy and have no prior warning or signs. As most of you know, Matt Hill founder of Liquid Web, my best friend since 2 year old - also died of a heart attack.

This again is my plea to please spend the ~$200 to get a CT Calcium Score of your heart.

It is quick, painless, doesn’t require any dye or injections. Just a quick trip to see if you have a ticking time bomb in your chest. (I am not a doctor.)

Bill was my mentor. He was like a second father to me. The man I am today, for better or for worse, has been influenced mostly by my incredible parents and just after that… Bill Hamilton.

Bill and I would try to get lunch or breakfast about once a quarter. When I was walking out of a meeting we had around the time of Matt’s death I remember turning to him and saying: “I love you”. I think it startled him and I felt really weird when he didn’t say it back — but sitting here, I know he loved me and I am so fu$&ing thankful I delivered him that message while he was still here with us.

I love you Bill. Thank you.

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I posted the following writing on Facebook:

“I am appalled that many people, including journalists like Taylor Lorenz (Washington Post & New York Times), are celebrating the murder of an insurance company CEO. Taylor posted a screenshot of another health insurance company making a change and her post said: “And people wonder why we want these executives dead”.

This is the problem with moral relativism.

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For background I shared that my article this week explained relativism and included a quote from the article:

“Relativism is the idea that all opinions are equally valid, no matter how ridiculous. For example, certain frameworks might argue that math is oppressive because it emphasizes correct answers. But without objective truth, how do we build bridges, design computers, or cure diseases? Imagine an engineer saying, “My truth is that this bridge will hold up,” even if the math proves otherwise. Relativism doesn’t lead to progress; it leads to chaos.”

We’re seeing the damage this mindset causes right now. People are justifying their celebration of murder by claiming it’s acceptable because of the CEO’s role in denying health insurance claims.

This selective moral reasoning is rooted in relativism—the belief that morality can shift based on context or personal feelings. It replaces universal principles, like the inherent wrongness of murder, with subjective justifications tied to anger or perceived injustice.

But here’s the danger: if morality becomes entirely relative, it opens the door to chaos.

Today, it’s celebrating a CEO’s murder; tomorrow, it could be justifying anything that feels right to someone at the time.

Relativism undermines the very foundations of ethical reasoning and erodes trust in the principles that hold society together.

We cannot allow ourselves to be swept away by this mindset.

It’s imperative to reject moral relativism and return to universal principles of reason and evidence, principles that ensure justice, fairness, and accountability for all, regardless of our emotions or personal grievances.

Murder is wrong.”

After I posted this on Facebook, one of my very smart and well intentioned friends respectfully criticized my article saying that I was incorrect. We had a lengthy debate and I know he has the best of intentions, but this part of the interaction perfectly illustrated the problem with this mindset.

He suggested that my post was alienating people.

So I responded with the message:

“I respectfully suggest it may not be me who is alienating people. Let me offer an example: Could you answer a seemingly simple question with a simple yes or no: “Is it acceptable for race to be a consideration in hiring, grading, or discipline?”

His response was: “That’s a trick question and you know it. Yes, it’s acceptable in select situations. And no, it isn’t in all.”

That answer shocks most people that have been out of academia for a while or who haven’t been paying attention to this new line of thinking. But it is a perfect illustration of moral relativism. It couldn’t be more clear.

This new line of thinking has convinced incredibly smart and well intentioned people that racism and murder are okay in certain “select situations”.

I reject this view completely and I hope that we all will.

It is never appropriate to judge someone based on the color of their skin. This is a moral truth. This is the basis of the Civil Rights Movement and the Civil Rights Act.

But sadly, this type of thinking has pervaded almost all of our powerful institutions in America. Due to the selective moral relativism, organizations like schools, companies, non-profits will engage in a practice called “Hiring with an equity lens”. This activity quite literally encourages the organization to make hiring decisions with an eye towards considering race. This practice is illegal and immoral, even though it is done with the best of intentions, it still does not justify the practice and it never will. We must reject this kind of moral relativism and return to return to objective, universal principles that respect individual rights and emphasize personal responsibility. Hiring decisions, and all organizational practices, must be based on competence, character, and contribution, not superficial attributes like race or gender. When we deviate from this approach, we erode the foundations of trust and accountability that hold society together.

This is not about intention but about outcomes. Good intentions cannot justify practices that undermine equality under the law and create resentment. History has proven that when people are judged by their abilities and achievements, rather than group identity, innovation and prosperity follow.

To restore integrity to our institutions, we must demand a relentless commitment to standards that transcend political fads or ideological movements. This means rejecting any practice that prioritizes group identity over individual capability and insisting on a meritocratic approach that rewards excellence and effort.

The way forward is simple but not easy. It requires a willingness to stand against popular but destructive ideas and to reaffirm timeless truths about human dignity and agency. Our schools, businesses, and nonprofits must lead by example, building cultures where personal responsibility and achievement are the sole measures of success.

Definitions

Murder: the unlawful premeditated killing of one human being by another.Racism: the belief that different races possess distinct characteristics, abilities, or qualities, especially so as to distinguish them as inferior or superior to one another.

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The way we know this is a problem is something called the reproducibility crisis. Reproducibility—the ability to replicate the results of a study using the same methods and data—is one of the foundations of science. But studies have shown that this isn’t happening. A 2016 survey published in Nature found that over 70% of researchers tried and failed to reproduce another scientist’s experiments, and more than half couldn’t reproduce their own. If a study can’t be replicated, it means the findings aren’t proven at all. This issue has eroded public trust in science and made it harder to solve real-world problems.

In educational settings, this problem is compounded by the introduction of certain modern social science approaches that prioritize subjective interpretations over objective analysis. Instead of focusing on evidence-based questions like, “How does this process work?” they might ask, “How does this reflect systemic inequalities?” For example, someone might argue that labeling certain smells as “bad” is tied to cultural bias. But how do you test that? How do you prove it’s true or false? These claims often rely on interpretations rather than measurable evidence, which makes them less useful for solving real-world problems.

Another example is implicit bias testing, which claims to reliably measure unconscious prejudice and predict discriminatory behavior. While the idea has been widely adopted in workplaces and institutions, many researchers have questioned the reliability and validity of these tests. How do you objectively measure or prove the existence of a bias that the person may not be aware of? And can it accurately predict real-world actions? The evidence for these claims is often inconsistent and difficult to replicate.

Similarly, in education, the concept of learning styles suggests that students learn best when taught according to their “preferred learning style” (visual, auditory, kinesthetic, etc.). While this sounds intuitive, numerous studies have failed to find consistent evidence supporting the effectiveness of tailoring teaching methods to these styles. How do you test this claim objectively when evidence suggests that all students benefit from well-rounded teaching strategies, regardless of their preferred style?

Another common example is cultural appropriation in art and fashion, where critics argue that using certain cultural symbols is inherently exploitative or oppressive. For instance, a designer might be criticized for incorporating a traditional motif from another culture into their work. While these discussions can raise important questions about respect and representation, how do you measure whether such acts cause tangible harm? These claims often rely on subjective perceptions of offense, which are not easily quantified or tested.

I am going to attempt to convince you that, if we want to solve real problems and move forward as a society, we need to abandon this way of thinking and return to science rooted in evidence and logic.

Let’s start with what real science looks like. Science asks clear questions about the world and then tests them. For example, scientists might wonder, “Does this medicine cure disease?” They test it on a large group of people, compare the results, and share their findings so others can confirm their work. If the results hold up, we accept them as truth—at least until new evidence suggests otherwise. This process has given us life-saving breakthroughs like antibiotics, airplanes, and smartphones. Science works because it’s based on facts that can be proven and tested repeatedly.

This focus on feelings creates something called relativism. Relativism is the idea that all opinions are equally valid, no matter how ridiculous. For example, certain frameworks might argue that math is oppressive because it emphasizes correct answers. But without objective truth, how do we build bridges, design computers, or cure diseases? Imagine an engineer saying, “My truth is that this bridge will hold up,” even if the math proves otherwise. Relativism doesn’t lead to progress; it leads to chaos.

We’re already seeing the damage this mindset has caused. In some workplaces, employees are forced to sit through workshops where they’re told that their race or gender determines whether they’re an “oppressor” or “oppressed.” These sessions aren’t based on evidence but on assumptions. In schools, lessons often focus on how systems are unfair instead of teaching students how to think critically and solve problems. Instead of creating solutions, this approach fosters division and resentment. And since these frameworks reject the idea of objective truth, it’s impossible to argue against them—it’s like debating with someone who denies the sky is blue.

The truth is, these modern approaches don’t fix problems; they just find new ones to complain about. Imagine if doctors used these methods. Instead of asking, “What’s the best treatment for this disease?” they’d spend all their time arguing about how healthcare systems are unfair. While that might be worth discussing, it doesn’t help the patient. Real science, on the other hand, focuses on solutions. It asks testable questions, runs experiments, and uses evidence to make the world better.

We need to return to real, objective science. Science works because it relies on evidence, not opinions. It’s the reason we have airplanes that don’t fall out of the sky and medicines that actually cure diseases. These frameworks might sound sophisticated, but they’re a dead end. If we want to move forward, we have to focus on what’s real and testable. That’s what real science does—and it’s the only way to truly solve the problems we face.

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The narrative is skewed, overemphasizing accidental “discovery”, guilt, and grievances while ignoring the truth: history, like nature, is savage and brutal.

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Migration, conflict, and innovation have always defined humanity. No one has a monopoly on virtue or violence. To pretend otherwise is dishonest.

The real story of America isn’t about conquest alone. It’s about people fleeing persecution and tyranny, building the greatest startup of all time—a nation founded on freedom and self-governance. We are a Republic. Unlike most countries, where governments hoard power over the people, America flipped the script: the people hold the power, and the government exists to serve them. That’s the radical, revolutionary idea that changed the world.

This is a human story, not a European one. For millennia, humans have migrated, clashed, and built societies. America was no different. But what set it apart was the founding vision: individual liberty, decentralized power, and a system that prioritized opportunity over control. These ideals didn’t just happen—they were forged in the fire of struggle, shaped by the reality that all progress requires conflict and risk.

Yes, there were injustices—there always are. But zoom out: all of history is a story of savagery and survival. What matters is not the bloodshed, but the ideas that rose above it. America’s founding principles—freedom, opportunity, and human potential—stand as a sharp break from the patterns of the past. It’s a leap forward, a step toward dignity and power for individuals.

We don’t tell this story because it’s harder to sell inspiration than guilt. It’s easier to teach grievances than the nuance of human progress. But the truth is this: the founding of America is a testament to what humans can achieve when they reject victimhood and embrace possibility. That’s the story worth telling.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all.

Love The Stolikers.

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If a person tells an offensive joke but is married to someone of that same race, are they a racist? Instead of using an unprovable label like “racist,” use precise language: “The comedian told this joke. I personally didn’t find it funny and felt offended by it. Here’s why it bothered me…” This approach acknowledges your perspective without leaping to moral judgment or shutting down dialogue. It invites understanding, not division.

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If someone crosses the street to avoid a group of angry young men, is that bias or self-preservation? Instead of labeling the action as “biased,” consider describing the situation factually: “I felt unsafe, so I made a decision based on what I perceived as a potential risk.” This framing shifts the focus from accusation to explanation, opening the door to honest conversation about context and perspective.

And then there’s “fairness”—the ultimate phantom word. One person’s fairness is another’s unfairness. A rule that feels fair when you’re winning feels unjust when you’re losing. Fairness isn’t a standard; it’s a perspective, shaped by emotion and entitlement. It sets you up for disappointment because life doesn’t measure itself by anyone’s idea of “fair.”

This is why I’m working to eliminate the word “fairness” from my 6-year-old son’s vocabulary. It’s not helpful for him. When he focuses on fairness, he only feels sadness or resentment, fixating on what he doesn’t have instead of what he does. I want him to understand that life isn’t meant to be “fair.” If he plans for disappointment, he can enjoy the highs when they come and face the lows with resilience. The pursuit of fairness traps you in a constant state of comparison, a game you can never win.

Compare these phantom words to words tied to facts—things that can be tested, measured, or falsified. If you say, “This bridge can hold 10 tons,” we can verify it. If you say, “This medicine cures headaches,” we can run a double-blind study. These words point to truths we can all agree on because they’re anchored to evidence.

The problem isn’t just misuse—it’s the sheer volume of these unprovable terms. They spread like weeds in the garden of language, choking out clarity and reason. What’s worse, they create a moral high ground where the loudest voice wins, not the truest one.

We need a language of truth—one stripped of words that hide in the shadows of subjectivity. Words tied to observable, testable realities. Let’s call the rest phantom words: terms that live in emotion, accusation, and assumption. These phantom words do nothing but divide, distract, and distort.

To build a better discourse, ban phantom words from your vocabulary. Replace them with words that reflect the world as it is, not as someone feels it should be. Clarity comes from facts, not feelings. Truth emerges when we anchor language to what can be seen, measured, and agreed upon by all.

Speak with precision, or don’t speak at all. The fewer phantom words you use, the clearer your mind—and the world—will become.

Here are some of my least favorite phantom words, the ones most often used as weapons to divide us:

• Fairness: Impossible to define universally; always subjective.

• Racism: Overused and often detached from concrete, provable actions.

• Bias: A catch-all accusation with no measurable standard.

• Privilege: A relative concept that can mean anything to anyone.

• Justice: Frequently used as a stand-in for vengeance or ideological conformity.

• Hate: Labeled on anyone who disagrees, regardless of intent.

• Oppression: Often self-defined without clear metrics or evidence.

• Trauma: Increasingly used as a moral shield to shut down conversation.

• Toxic: Applied to behaviors, people, or even ideas without measurable harm.

These words are emotional shortcuts, designed to end conversations rather than start them. They serve to accuse, divide, and control—never to clarify, enlighten, or unite.

What phantom words do you think belong on this list? Share yours below. Let’s build a language rooted in truth, not manipulation.

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His alcoholism had been isolating him for years. I often wonder—what came first? Did his alcoholism drive his isolation, or did his isolation drive his alcoholism?

15% of men say they have no close friends. That’s about 25 million American men without a single friend to turn to. Even among those who do have friends, 79% report not receiving any emotional support from them. In the 18-23 age group, more than a quarter of men say, “no one really knows me.” Today, young men rely more on their parents than their friends.

But it wasn’t always like this. Back in 1990, most American men reported having 6 or more close friends. By 2021, that number had dropped to just 27%. The pandemic only made this problem worse, as isolation and the lack of opportunities for social interaction deepened the problem.

The causes are many and complex. Cultural and societal pressures play a big role. Traditional ideas of masculinity often discourage emotional openness and vulnerability, limiting opportunities to build deep emotional bonds through genuine connection. Men often have what are called casual friendships—a co-worker, a golf buddy, or the guy they chat with at the bar. But these relationships usually lack the depth needed to offer real support during tough times or personal crises.

Whatever the reasons, the results are significant and troubling. Depression in men is on the rise, correlating with an increase in male loneliness. This loneliness is linked to obesity, declining physical health, relationship struggles, extremist behavior, and substance abuse.

Men account for 80% of suicide deaths in the US. Some studies suggest that increasing loneliness and isolation could elevate the risks of violence, domestic abuse, and extremist behavior. This is a crisis.

This led me to do an informal survey of my male friends. I asked them a simple question: Who is your best friend that is not a co-worker or family member, and how often do you get to see them each year? I was shocked to discover that 20% of them confessed that they didn’t have a best friend at all.

This sparked a lively discussion within our group. None of us had realized just how disconnected we were. So, we made a commitment to change that. I joined a group called the Adventurman Guild, started by a friend of mine. The goal is simple: to be Boy Scouts for adults. The group goes on trips and adventures together. The guild has weekly challenges of learning, discovering, and sharing. The group has bonfires and gatherings that unite men to talk about issues in a private, confidential setting. It’s been incredibly rewarding for the group.

It’s remarkable to see how the simple act of sharing and being vulnerable opens the door for others to do the same. It creates a domino effect, and the most common thing heard is, “I didn’t know others felt like this.”

In another friend group, we committed to setting up in-person dinners once every three months, deliberately carving out time from our busy schedules to be present and share. We’ve held four such dinners so far, and the connections have been deep and meaningful for all of us.

The world needs more deep male friendships. Which really is to say, men need to take greater responsibility for their happiness and mental health by making the effort to build community within their friend groups. This is an enemy from within, but I believe it’s one we can conquer by raising awareness and creating groups that go beyond the typical male relationships centered around work, sports, or alcohol.

We need groups that make a concerted effort to build healthy connections around the shared human experience. Because as isolated as we may feel, once we start sharing our internal struggles and guarded personal demons, we realize we’re not so different from everyone else. And that makes our troubles just a little easier to bear.

This could literally save a life. I think it would have saved my friend.

If you are a friend and you’re too embarrassed to admit you are lonely. This is your opportunity. You’re not complaining. I’m asking. Are you okay? I’m here to help and I believe you.

The idea of choosing your friends or distancing yourself from family based solely on who they choose to support in a political election seems deeply unamerican to me. But sadly it seems to be very fashionable again as we grind through the last days of this painful election cycle.

I understand this isn’t a new phenomenon, and I am sympathetic to the idea that people feel so moved and energized by their own favored candidate that their passion can overwhelm them enough to consider the other side to be an enemy. I’m sure I’ve even been guilty of this in the past and I’m ashamed of myself for it.

Today I’m going to tell the story of a time I bet my friends to run a sociological experiment.

If you know me well, you’ll know that I don’t gamble - but I love to bet. I have a spreadsheet of bets and predictions with friends that goes back nearly 20 years now. I bet on the silliest things. It could be something morbid, like predicting when a professional rock climber who free solos massive cliffs without safety ropes will eventually fall. Or something lighthearted, like guessing how long a company will survive before going bankrupt after receiving a government tax incentive.

One of of my favorite sociological experiments and bets was during the 2020 election when Donald Trump was running against Joe Biden.

I offered several of my friends, most of which were liberals that were voting for Mr. Biden, $400 if they would make a Facebook post announcing to their friends and family that they voted for Donald Trump for president. The only rule was they couldn’t take down the post or explain themselves for 48 hours.

The first thing that shocked me was that only 2 of my friends agreed to take me up on the challenge. I was stunned that everyone didn’t sign up for the free money I was offering.

But most people were scared to make the post. That fact alone, deeply troubled me.

I thought: “This is America. It can’t really be that bad to tell your friends and family that you’re voting for someone that received nearly half of the votes in that election.”

But two of my friends did take me up on the challenge.

One of my friends is not very political and doesn’t use social media that much. His post had nearly no reaction. That relieved me a great deal. I was very hopeful that my bet would fail and I would be proven totally wrong.

But the second person received a very different reaction.

Their family and friends were quite upset. My friend was nearly disinvited from an upcoming family dinner. One member of their close nuclear family let out an audible scream when they learned the news. They received several text messages and phone calls expressing their disappointment with their Facebook post.

It was unfortunate to see. It even inspired my friend to make this post about the experience:

I have to say, the person that I paid to make this post is one of the best people I have ever met in my life. They are a person that I have known for nearly 2 decades, I consider a brother, has never told a lie that I can recall, and has the highest integrity and character of any person I’ve ever met. He is the kind of person that others call when they need help. When they need someone to help them with math homework, or stay by a hospital bed side, this is the guy they call. Hell, he’s the guy I would call.

I think it genuinely confused him how people that are his loved ones could judge him so harshly and severely simply based upon who he decided to vote for. But it happened. We both got to see it with our own eyes.

I am starting to see this behavior again and I hope that we can take a step back and remember that our political differences, our religious differences, all of our differences - are what make being human amazing. We should all try to be very careful to not judge people based off of their beliefs or ideas, but try to as best we can, make those determinations only based off of their individual character and the behaviors that we observe first hand.

If your uncle Remus generously taught you how to ride a bike, bait a fishing hook, and how to fly a kite - you shouldn’t write him off simply because he spent 5 seconds casting a vote that you don’t personally agree with. It’s just not worth it.

Remember, we are all just voting for other imperfect flawed humans that will undoubtedly let us down along the way. That’s the way it always has been and the way it always will be.

So I have two questions for you:

* If you are vocal about your political beliefs and active on social media, would you accept my bet and do this yourself? Let me know. I may offer you the bet!

* Have you withdrawn from friends or family because of a political difference? Do you regret it? Or have your friends or family withdrawn from you because of a political disagreement?

Thank you so much for reading. I look forward to learning from you.

Also, remember, these are never lectures but reminders to myself. If you enjoyed this or got any value, all I ask is that you share it with 2 friends. It means the world to me.

Opening restaurants requires a lot of cash. So when we were buying Detroit Frankies to open Slice by Saddleback, I thought this would be a perfect opportunity to sell the naming rights to fund the acquisition.

How did Slice By Saddleback get MSUFCU to buy the naming rights to a pizza?

We had a very good working relationship with Michigan State University Federal Credit Union (MSUFCU). However, I had never worked with anyone in their marketing department, so I went on LinkedIn and found their marketing director, Deidre. I was able to get her email address, and I sent her a simple email that said, I have a great advertising opportunity for you. I want to sell you the naming rights to one of my pizzas.

In the email, I included some general statistics about how many people would see the advertisement, and I included the price of $10,000. She responded almost immediately, and we went back and forth a couple of times. We were able to make a deal, and I received a check for $10,000.

If you go to Slice by Saddleback even today, you will notice that the dill pickle pizza is now called the Green and White Pizza Powered by MSUFCU. Not only was this incredibly profitable for the pizza places, but it was also, by my calculations, one of the most effective marketing and advertising placements that MSUFCU had done when you look at the reach it gave them and how many people saw it.

The offer I made included renaming the pizza, displaying their logo in the menu, and listing the new name on all receipts and online ordering platforms. In addition, I guaranteed that we would use our social media platforms, which I believe had about 40,000 followers at the time, to post content that specifically mentioned The Green and White Pizza Powered by MSUFCU.

This was a great source of profit for the pizza places especially because I had the foresight to do this as an annual advertising agreement. So, the next year, the price went up to $20,000. In total, so far, the pizza places have made more than $30,000 in pure net income with no cost at all.

And not only did the restaurants get direct cash from the advertising sale which was all net income (profit), because of the partnership, MSUFCU promoted the pizza to their employees and to their 300,000 members! So they actually ended up doing advertising for us for free! They even paid to include us on a TV commercial that ran on the local broadcast of the Superbowl! In part because of this relationship. It was massively successful on all accounts.

How much profit can a restaurant make by selling the naming rights to a menu item?

Let’s break down why this is so profitable. Everyone knows that restaurants are notoriously difficult businesses and don’t have a very high profit margin in general.

How a restaurant works is that 30% of the price of the food that you sell goes directly to the food cost or ingredient cost. Another 30% or more goes into the labor for the employees to make and serve the product. And then, on average, about 30% goes into overhead. A very profitable restaurant runs at about a 10% net profit margin. And of course, that doesn’t always happen. Most restaurants I have looked at run at a net profit margin below 10%. As we all know, many restaurants don’t make any money at all, and that’s why you see so many restaurants fail.

So, if you consider that it’s only a 10% profit margin, that means that $10,000 from MSUFCU—or the $30,000 now—went directly to the bottom line, meaning it was pure profit, because there was no cost that went into it. So for the restaurant to make that $30,000 in profit, they would have had to sell a minimum of $300,000 in sales.

To give you an idea of how much money that is, as I recall, one of the Slice locations’ total sales for the entire year was about $500,000. That means that the $30,000 in advertising money from MSUFCU equated to more than half of the entire year’s sales in net profit.

Try to wrap your head around that. It means that all of the activities we did for more than half of the year—all of the staffing, all of the ordering food, all of the dealing with customer complaints, all of that time and effort—made less profit than the advertisement from MSUFCU did.

The Lesson: Why Every Restaurant Owner Should Consider Selling the Naming Rights to a Menu Item

Let’s face it—restaurants operate on razor-thin margins, making it crucial to find creative ways to generate profit. One innovative solution is selling the naming rights to a menu item. Just like stadiums and venues do, selling naming rights can create a unique advertising opportunity for local businesses, generate extra revenue, and build stronger community relationships. This approach not only brings in direct cash but also establishes long-term partnership and it enhanced brand visibility for both the restaurant and the business purchasing the naming rights.

A big lesson here is that all business owners shouldn’t chase sales just for the sake of sales. If Slice By Saddleback opened up a new restaurant location that generated a similar amount of sales, it would take between $50,000 and $100,000 minimum just to open. But that new location would only generate about $50,000 of net income per year. Whereas a simple sale of the naming rights to a menu item generated $10,000 in annual net income, for literally no work or headaches at all. I would take that everyday!

I see it all the time—owners taking on new clients, starting new projects, or lowering prices just to boost sales & revenue. I’ve made the same mistake myself. But it’s not about growing sales—it’s about growing profit. Look for easy ways to grow profit.

Sometimes it’s better to say no to unprofitable clients or avoid adding new lines of business that are more hassle than they’re worth. Focus on what’s actually making you money, stick to your core business, and prioritize profit over everything else!

If you enjoyed this, could you do me a huge favor and send it to two of your friends? That’s all I ask. Just share it with someone that you think would get value out of it. Thank you!

I want to hear from you! What do you think? Take the poll, comment below, or reply to this email.

"So, you would like to interview me?" God asked. "If you have the time," I replied, and God smiled. "My time is eternity. What questions do you have in mind for me?"

"What surprises you most about humankind?" I asked. God answered, "They get bored with childhood, rush to grow up, and then long to be children again. They sacrifice their health to make money and then spend that money to restore their health. By worrying about the future, they forget the present, living in neither. They live as if they will never die and die as if they had never lived."

We were silent for a moment before I continued. "As a parent, what life lessons do you want your children to learn?" God replied with a smile, "To understand they cannot make anyone love them, but they can let themselves be loved. To know it's harmful to compare themselves to others. To recognize that the richest person isn't the one with the most, but the one who needs the least. To learn that it only takes a few seconds to create deep wounds in those we love, and many years to heal them. To practice forgiveness. To realize that some people may love them deeply but struggle to show it. To see that two people can view the same thing differently. To understand that being forgiven by others isn't always enough; they must also forgive themselves. And to learn that I am always here."

—James J. Lachard (Jim Brown)

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I used to say no—a lot. No to new experiences, no to challenges, no to anything that pushed me outside my comfort zone. But with The Year of the Opposite challenge, I started saying yes.

It’s been about two years since I made that shift, and it has been a game-changer.

Take Ragnar Michigan 2024, for example. When Kenny asked me to join his team, "Salty Nips," I had no clue how far I’d be running, what the conditions were, or even when the race started.

If I had known that the Ragnar is a 200 mile relay race from Traverse City to Muskegon where 12 guys pile into 2 stinky vans, share beds, and get little sleep over the course of 2 days - I surely would have said NO!

But I said yes. Because of the Year Of The Opposite, I embraced the challenge—and the experience was more than I could have imagined.

Over two days, 13 guys (12 runners 1 driver) —mostly Kenny’s CrossFit buddies—piled into two vans, driving from Traverse City to Muskegon.

Our time? 33 hours, 3 minutes, and 3 seconds. Not the fastest (46th out of 95 teams), but it wasn’t about winning. It was about saying yes, embracing the unknown, and pushing myself.

My Race Legs Breakdown:

* Leg 1: Sunrise Grind – 6.1 miles at sunrise with a 366 ft elevation gain. My pace? 9:37 per mile. It was the perfect start to the race, with stunning sunrise views over Traverse City Bay.

* Leg 13: Sunset Push – 7.5 miles during the golden hour. I pushed through exhaustion, and my last mile clocked in at 7:16 per mile. Overall, this leg came in at 9:32 per mile. I even passed two runners in the final stretch for a couple of kills—felt amazing.

* Leg 25: Dawn Dash – 3.5 miles early in the morning, with a downhill sprint that gave me my fastest pace of the race at 8:46 per mile. The last leg, but my strongest finish.

Despite getting just a few hours of sleep between runs—crammed into hotel rooms or the van—it was worth every second. Running at sunrise and sunset, meeting new people, learning new skills, and pushing my body in ways I never thought I could. It wasn’t just about running. It was about finding a renewed sense of self-confidence and proving that I can take on challenges I’d never have considered before.

This wasn’t just about saying yes to a race. It was about saying yes to life, growth, and the unexpected. I wasn’t just running miles; I was running toward something bigger.

There’s a lot of talk about limiting beliefs these days. Simply put, limiting beliefs are thoughts or assumptions that hold you back from reaching your full potential. Before my Year of the Opposite, I had plenty of limiting beliefs about myself. I used to think that if something involved sports or physical activity, it wasn’t for me. If something took up too much time and wasn’t directly related to work, it wasn’t for me.

But those were just stories I was telling myself. Now, by saying “yes” to everything, I’m actively working to remove those limiting beliefs, and in doing so, I’ve opened myself up to opportunities I never would have imagined.

Never before would I have imagined that I could go on a 5-day self-contained hike on Isle Royale. Never before would I have thought that I could run almost 20 miles personally as part of a relay team covering nearly 200 miles. But now I know that if I’m ever forced into a situation like that, I can do it. It opens the aperture a little bit on what I think is possible for myself. It gives me a bit more self-confidence. It gives me a bit more resiliency.

The cost question was a surprisingly hard question to answer.

Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

The costs generally range between $100 and $250. I but I didn’t know much precise cost until this week. It came in at $156 and as I pointed out in the previous post, my insurance was likely to not cover the expense. I accepted that expense and felt it was still worth it for me and my family.

As you may recall, it was actually fairly difficult for me to get the test because my primary care doctor wasn’t willing to recommend it. I had to enlist a friend to connect me directly with a cardiologist. (Thanks Jeffs!)

The price didn’t surprise me, since I knew it was coming. But what was a bit humorous to me was the response from my insurance company.

As you will recall, the test revealed that my heart was blocked more than 90% of people my age and it also identified that I have Left Ventricular Hypertrophy (LVH or hardening of the heart tissue).

So you would think that my insurance company would be thankful that I identified these conditions so that I can now take proactive steps to reduce the risk that I will have a heart attack. And since the cost was so low at $156, maybe they would now cover the expense.

Nope! The insurance company denied the claim saying that I didn’t qualify to get this test even though 2 years ago I had all of the clinical indications that I could be at risk. I had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and high triglycerides for about 10 years.

But since I wasn’t 45, I didn’t qualify to have this covered by my insurance.

It’s pretty wild. Especially considering the fact that about 50% of Americans that experience heart attacks have no prior indication that they might have a heart issue!

I’m not mad at my insurance company for not covering it. I knew that this was a possibility. But I would suggest that this might be a broken system if saving lives is the goal of the health care system. What do you think?

We are drawn to friends that excite us.

But that excitement comes in different forms. Some friends make us feel happiness, love, energy, positivity, and they fill us with optimism. But some friends excite us because they fill us with rage, fear, hate, or pessimism. These are very different feelings of excitement. Sure, it is true that some people are able to use that fear or rage and convert it into fuel to slay dragons and storm the castle, fighting towards a righteous cause to rescue the princess and save the day. But I find my life to be much more joyful when I’m surrounded by friends who see every challenge as an opportunity. When those friends are filled with hope, positivity, and optimism—it’s a feeling that easily transforms into love. Don’t define yourself by what you oppose; define yourself by what you stand for.

Don’t debate a rock.

Before engaging in a debate, I like to ask, 'What's a significant belief or opinion you've changed in the past year or two?' If they haven't or offer something trivial, I simply smile and nod. There's little value in debating with someone who never changes their mind.

If you get ANY value out of this, could you consider sharing it with 2 friends?

But it’s the responses (some had to be hidden/deleted) that I want to talk about.

The comment replies quickly turned into assigning blame to either teachers or parents. It had to be one of them!

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And of course, some assumed that I was making a political statement. I wasn’t.

I was just pointing out an uncomfortable truth that I had just learned and wanted to investigate.

This kind of reaction happens a lot nowadays, and it’s a sign of our polarization. It’s tied to something called motivated reasoning and false dichotomy.

Motivated reasoning is when we process information in a way that supports what we already believe, instead of looking at the facts objectively. It’s similar to confirmation bias.

False dichotomy is when we reduce an issue to only two opposing sides, ignoring the nuances and other possible explanations.

We need to be careful about this. I need to be careful about it.

When it comes to the reading issue that I mentioned in my post, it’s possible that both parents and teachers play a role, but it could also be other factors, or none of them at all.

To truly understand an issue like this, we need to keep an open mind and look at the entire history, not just our preferred explanations.

For example, the shift from phonics to the whole language model education seems to have had a significant impact. But no one mentioned that.

Changes in educational policy, and even the metabolic health of children & adults today, could also play a part.

Poverty, screen time, family structure, child care, two parents working—these all could play a role.

The point is, when we’re faced with uncomfortable truths, it’s easy to retreat into our tribes and defend our positions. But real progress comes from being willing to explore the full picture, even when it challenges our assumptions.

So, let’s stay open-minded and avoid jumping to conclusions. Instead of debating who’s right or wrong, let’s focus on understanding the issue in all its complexity.

As always, these aren’t lectures they are reminders to myself.

On another note, that last post upset a lot of people and I had a lot of unsubscribes. No worries.

But if you get ANY value out of this, could you consider sharing it with 2 friends?

Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

In plain English, what exactly is going on and why is the concept of taxing unrealized capital gains in the news?

The concept of taxing unrealized capital gains has become a hot topic, especially as the Biden-Harris administration pushes forward their unique tax policies.

In essence, unrealized capital gains are the increases in value of assets like stocks or property that haven't been sold yet. Under a new proposal, the idea is to tax these paper profits annually as if they were actual income.

This topic is making headlines because it's a major shift in how we think about wealth and taxation.

Traditionally, taxes are levied on income you actually receive—like your salary—or on profits you make when you sell an asset.

(Note: When I say “Asset” just think: your real estate, your stock, or maybe a business you own that you sell.) But now, the discussion has pivoted to taxing potential income before it’s even realized.

(Note: When I say “realized” in a financial concept it means selling an asset like a stock and converting the stock certificate into cash.) The stated goal behind this new and novel approach is supposed to ensure that the wealthiest individuals pay a fair share, addressing concerns over wealth inequality. However, as with any significant policy shift, it brings along a flurry of debates and concerns.The Biden-Harris administration has said: "Preferential treatment for unrealized gains disproportionately benefits high-wealth taxpayers and provides many high-wealth taxpayers with a lower effective tax rate than many low- and middle-income taxpayers."

What has been proposed and what is the history of the proposal to tax unrealized capital gains?

The proposal isn't just a fleeting idea; it’s embedded in the Biden administration’s fiscal plans. Officially introduced in March 2023, the proposal suggests a minimum tax of 25% on total income, including unrealized gains, for those with a net worth exceeding $100 million.

This isn't a new debate, though. The concept of taxing wealth rather than just income has been discussed for years, but it’s only now being seriously considered as a part of fiscal policy.

The reason this is coming up this week is that the Committee for a Responsible Federal Budget reported on the Harris campaign's stance. They stated: 'The campaign specifically told us that they support all of the tax increases on the high earners and corporations that are in the Biden budget." Here is the full policy and some important excerpts:

But doesn't this policy only apply to super rich people?

Yes, but the concern is that this is exactly how the income tax originally started. The idea of taxing only the super-rich isn't new; it mirrors the initial U.S. income tax in 1861, which taxed just 3% of the population making over $800. However, this tax was temporary, repealed in 1872, but its concept evolved, leading to the 16th Amendment in 1913, allowing for a broader income tax.

Critics worry that what starts as a tax on the ultra-wealthy could expand, much like the income tax did. Initially targeting the rich, the income tax eventually reached the middle class, with rates as high as 94% for top earners by 1944, showing how tax policies can broaden over time.

Even though this policy doesn't yet apply to everyday people, can you give me an example that a common person can relate to?

Sure, imagine you own a house. Over the years, the value of your house increases significantly, but you don’t sell it. Under a policy that taxes unrealized gains, you'd have to pay taxes each year on the increased value of your home—even though you haven’t actually received any cash from that increase. This could create a financial burden, especially if you’re cash-poor but asset-rich. Let’s try to use an example. Say you bought a house in East Lansing for $100,000 but due to some crazy economic events like the lead up we saw to 2007, the house in theory is worth $200,000. But you have no intention of selling your house because you just want to live in it.

Under this proposal, you’d have to pay a 25% tax on the gain of $100,000. Meaning you’d have to come up with $25,000 in cash to pay your taxes on the house. Where would you come up with that cash? Would you have to sell the house in order to pay the taxes? Maybe you did have $25,000 in cash, which you had intended to use to replace the roof on your house or remodel it. Now you would have to use that money to pay taxes.

And what if that $200,000 increased value was not real. What if we saw what happened in 2008 happen all over again and there is a market crash and now your house is again worth $100,000?

As you can see, this gets very complicated and very confusing, very quickly. To be very clear: This current proposal does NOT apply to your house or mine. I’m just using this example because it’s something we can all relate to.

Do other countries do this?

While some countries have experimented with taxing wealth, including unrealized gains, it remains far from a global standard. For instance, Norway's wealth tax indirectly affects unrealized gains as part of the overall wealth calculation, but it has sparked debates over unintended consequences like capital flight.

Similarly, France’s former wealth tax (ISF) faced criticism for driving wealthy individuals out of the country, leading to its repeal in 2017 and replacement with a tax focused solely on real estate. These cases illustrate the challenges and potential downsides of taxing unrealized gains, making the U.S. proposal a relatively novel and significant departure from how most countries handle capital gains taxation.

What would this mean for innovation and invention in America? What would this do to startups?

Innovation thrives on risk-taking and long-term investment. A tax on unrealized gains could potentially dampen the entrepreneurial spirit by imposing financial burdens on profits that exist only on paper. Entrepreneurs might become more cautious, fearing the tax implications of holding onto high-risk, high-reward ventures. This policy could stifle innovation by deterring the very risk-taking that drives breakthroughs.

Let’s be more specific about how this policy might impact startups. Many startups don’t generate profits in their early years. Take Amazon, FedEx, Snapchat, TBS, Netflix, Adobe, and Airbnb as examples—none of these companies made a single dime of profit for more than five years after they launched. Yet, during this period, the paper valuation of these companies soared like a rocket.

What does this mean in practice? It means that while these companies appeared successful on paper, they weren’t generating cash profits. The founders and investors were reinvesting every penny back into the company’s growth—hiring more people, building infrastructure, and ramping up advertising. Often, this reinvestment happens alongside rounds of fundraising at ever-higher valuations, based on the company's potential rather than its current profitability.

In plain English, the "value" of these companies on paper kept climbing, but there was no cash flow to match it. If this proposal were enacted, founders and investors wouldn’t just need to pour their personal cash into growing the business and paying employees—they’d also need to invest additional cash solely to pay taxes on unrealized gains. Would you sign up for that?I think an example might be useful here: We all know that restaurants are notoriously difficult and often unprofitable businesses. Now, imagine you’ve opened the dream café you’ve always wanted. You invest $100,000 from your 401(k) to build out your first location. Things are going well in your first year, so you decide it’s time to expand and open a second location. Like many entrepreneurs, instead of paying yourself, you choose to reinvest the business’s earnings into hiring the best employees possible. Then, you get an opportunity to launch that second location across town, but it’s going to take another $100,000 to make it happen.

After working an entire year without paying yourself, and having already invested your 401(k) savings into the business, you need to bring in a new investor to raise the additional $100,000. When the new investor comes on board, they value the company higher, so on paper, the value of your café increases. However, despite this increase in paper valuation, you, the founder, still haven’t earned a single dime from the company.

Now, because the valuation on paper has gone up (the unrealized gain), you and the new investor not only need to come up with the $100,000 to build the second location—you also need an additional $25,000 just to cover the taxes on that unrealized gain.

And let's not forget, startups are incredibly risky. What happens if the company fails? What if the founders are working on something as monumental as a cure for cancer? Would they, and their investors, continue to risk their money, time, and resources, knowing that a portion of it is being siphoned off for taxes on non-existent profits? Would you? Is this really what we want as a society—discouraging the very risks that lead to life-changing innovations?Again, to be very clear: This current proposal does NOT apply to your Cafe or mine. I’m just using this example because it’s something we can all relate to.

Since people can move, if this happened, wouldn't all the rich people just move and leave the United States?

Maybe. That is the problem with policies like this—they tend to have unintended consequences. Wealthy individuals have the resources to relocate to countries with more favorable tax laws. If implemented, we might see a migration of wealth out of the U.S., similar to what has happened in other countries with aggressive tax policies. This exodus could lead to a decrease in investment and philanthropy within the U.S., ultimately hurting the economy. And most importantly, this could ultimately reduce total tax income for the government which would completely defeat the intended goal of this policy.

Addressing some common misconceptions about taxes in the United States: “The rich need to pay their fair share”

There are some common misconceptions that are often stated that need to be cleared up. It surprises many people to learn that every year, between 40-55% of U.S. households pay $0 in federal income taxes. None.

Now let’s look at the top 1% of earners that are often talked about. The top 1% of earners bring in around 20-21% of all income in the U.S., but they pay nearly half of all federal income taxes​.

This isn’t to say that the system is perfect, but it’s a reminder that tax policy is already incredibly complex and there are many misconceptions.

Can you explain in a bit more detail how this would exactly work?

Here’s where it gets technical. The unrealized gains tax would function as a prepayment on future realized gains taxes, meaning you wouldn’t pay taxes twice on the same gain. If you eventually sell the asset for less than its taxed value or incur a loss, you could get a refund. This system aims to prevent people from being taxed on income they never actually receive, but it also adds layers of complexity.

For example, if you’re illiquid—meaning most of your wealth is tied up in non-tradable assets—you might only have to pay taxes on liquid assets, but there’s a catch: you’d face a deferral charge of up to 10% on the gain of your illiquid assets. And if you pass away, your estate pays the death tax, with any overpaid unrealized taxes refunded to the estate.

Can this policy actually be implemented by the President?

No, not directly. While the President can propose tax policies, it’s ultimately up to Congress to pass them. Given the contentious nature of this proposal and the significant legal and logistical hurdles, its implementation is far from guaranteed. It’s a complex policy that would require broad support and careful crafting to become law.

How would this tax interact with state-level taxes?

State tax systems often mirror federal rules, so if a federal tax on unrealized gains were implemented, states might consider adopting similar measures. However, this could lead to conflicts between federal and state tax policies, particularly in states with lower or no income tax. Additionally, the combined burden of federal and state taxes on unrealized gains could increase the overall tax rate on affected individuals.

How would this policy affect retirement accounts and other tax-advantaged savings vehicles?

At this point, the proposal does not specifically target retirement accounts like 401(k)s or IRAs, which traditionally benefit from tax deferral until funds are withdrawn. However, if the policy were to extend to such accounts, it could complicate the tax treatment of these savings vehicles and potentially undermine their tax-advantaged status. Clarifications would be needed to determine how, if at all, these accounts would be affected.

How do you determine how much tax to be paid? Who determines the value of an unrealized capital gain? For example: how do you know how much a business is worth for sure if you haven't yet sold it?

The tax on unrealized capital gains is based on the value of your assets at the end of each year. For stocks, it’s easy to figure out because their market value is clear. But when it comes to assets like a small business or real estate that haven't been sold, it gets tricky.

For these types of assets, the value would have to be estimated, often through appraisals. This is where things can get complicated and subjective. For example, valuing a business that hasn’t been sold yet involves guessing what someone might pay for it based on current market conditions and future earnings.

To illustrate how hard it is to value something accurately, just think about how often you’ve seen wildly different "Zestimates" on Zillow for houses, including your own. This same kind of uncertainty can apply to other assets, making it difficult to determine an exact tax amount.

The policy might include safeguards to adjust for big swings in value, allowing for tax credits or refunds if an asset’s value drops after you’ve already paid tax on it. But the details on how this would work aren’t clear yet, and it’s something that would need to be carefully handled to avoid unfair taxes based on inaccurate valuations.

Addressing some of the myths that are being said about this policy:

There are several myths or misconceptions often cited which might not hold up under scrutiny:

Myth: Taxing Unrealized Gains is Fair Because Wealthy Individuals Use Unrealized Gains for Borrowing:Reality: While it's true that wealthy individuals can use the value of their assets as collateral for loans, this doesn't mean they've realized income. (IE: sold their asset for cash.) The value of the underlying assets can still fluctuate, and if the asset's value drops below the loan amount, the individual might still owe on the loan despite having no income from the asset. Taxing unrealized gains could lead to situations where individuals owe taxes on "income" they never actually received.

Myth: It's Just Like Taxing Income or Profits:Reality: Taxing unrealized gains is fundamentally different from taxing income or realized profits because it's based on potential wealth, not actual wealth. This could lead to scenarios where individuals or entities are taxed on wealth that might never materialize if the asset's value decreases.

Myth: This Will Only Affect the Ultra-Wealthy:Reality: While the proposal might target the ultra-wealthy, there are always unintended consequences when imposing any tax policy. This may result in an increase in sales of businesses, or a decrease. It could lead to people moving their money out of the country, or potentially people completely migrating out of the country. The consequences could be far-reaching and unintended, as seen in France and Norway.

As always, please remember, these are never lectures. They are reminders to myself and I want to hear and learn from you.

What do you think? Is this proposed policy a good idea? What did I get wrong? Please let me know so that I can improve.

If you got value out of this, please do me a favor by sharing or subscribing. It means a lot to me.

Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

After I started writing the Year Of The Opposite, I was shocked to discover how many of my close friends and family had also struggled with similar feelings that I experienced. I share this post reluctantly and it makes me feel quite vulnerable. But I want to do it because I think it’s important to be honest about the positives and the negatives. I don’t just want to show an Instagram highlight reel of my life. I don’t think that is fair, and it’s certainly not accurate. I suspect, it’s not accurate for anyone. So here it goes…

Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Confession: I’ve been feeling depressed for about a week now. It’s a persistent fog of worthlessness and loneliness that weighs heavily on me, despite, paradoxically, being surrounded by loved ones.

Logically, I know these feelings make no sense, yet they drift through my mind like a fog, dulling the light and leaving only shadows behind.

I’m fully aware of what can lift this fog—taking the necessary actions that I’ve learned will pull me out. But here I am, avoiding them, stuck in a cycle of inaction.

It’s a strange and unsettling realization: I’ve achieved everything I once believed would bring me happiness, yet the fulfillment I sought seems elusive. The goals that once held the promise of contentment now feel hollow, revealing a deeper truth that I’m grappling with. It’s not the destination that brings peace; it’s the journey. The process, the daily grind, the struggles—this is where life truly happens. (Why is it that all the old platitudes seem to be so accurate?!)

I know what I need to do to regain my footing. Habits like running, eating healthy, reading, avoiding the news, and not checking my phone in the morning or night—these are the practices that keep me grounded, stave off the darkness, and restore my sense of well-being. But lately, I haven’t been doing them. Instead, I’m stuck in a loop of avoidance, fully aware of what works but unable to take action. It’s like standing at the edge of a cliff, knowing I need to step back but feeling frozen in place.

And here’s where another, deeper weight presses on me—the sense of being a fraud. I’ve challenged others to face their depression, to take control and make the changes that can pull them out of the darkness. And it worked for them. But now, as I struggle to apply that same advice to myself, I feel like a liar, a hypocrite. How can I guide others when I’m floundering in the same waters? It’s a disheartening contradiction that only adds to the fog.

In a recent challenge I issued, others found their way through their struggles by following the very steps I’ve been avoiding. You can read about their successes here. Their triumphs should inspire me, but instead, they highlight my own inaction, making the weight of this fog even heavier.

Being a hyper-achiever myself, I’ve always been drawn to the powerful illusion that happiness is just around the corner.

Once I reach this milestone, once I make this much money, once I have this title—then I’ll be happy. But each time I’ve reached that point, the happiness was fleeting at best, and soon I was setting my sights on the next goal, convinced that this time it would be different. It’s a cycle that has driven me forward, but also one that has kept true contentment just out of reach.

Goals are essential. They give us direction and a reason to push forward. But the real value lies not in the accomplishment itself, but in the process of getting there. The struggle, the learning, the day-to-day efforts—this is where we grow, where we build our character, and where we find the small joys that, when added up, lead to something far more meaningful than mere satisfaction.

Happiness isn’t something you find at the end of the road. It’s something you experience along the way, woven into the very fabric of the journey. The destination may offer a fleeting sense of success, but it’s the journey that shapes who we are and how we live.

When I started writing this post at 8 a.m. on August 15th, I was still deep in that fog, feeling sad and depressed. But as the day went on, and I began taking the actions I know work—including writing this post—the fog started to lift. By 10 p.m., the heaviness had already begun to fade, proving once again that the steps I advocate for others are just as crucial for myself.

This experience reminds me that none of my posts are meant to lecture others. They’re always reminders to myself because I’m still very much a work in progress. Even as I challenge others to grow, I’m on the same journey, facing the same struggles, and learning the same lessons. The process is ongoing, and it’s in these small, daily victories that I find my way out of the darkness, one step at a time.

And today, August 16th, I started where it all began. By the small step of making my bed. I already feel a little better.

On a completely unrelated note, I got to see the Northern Lights for the first time this week in Northport MI.

Lansing is a fine city. I love my family here, I love my in-laws here, and I love my friends here dearly. But it is unquestionable to say that I hindered my career and my intelligence by staying in Lansing, Michigan.

One of the truest things ever said about relationships is that you become the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

From my perspective, that is unquestionably true—not just for me but for the friends and family that I observe.

It’s hard to develop good habits if you’re around people with bad habits. It is very difficult to develop high-quality thinking if you are around people with low-quality thinking. This is not to suggest that the people in Lansing, Michigan, have low-quality thinking. I am not saying that at all. I love the people here, and I have invested in the people here as much as I possibly can.

But when you are trying to pursue a specific career or industry, it's very important that you surround yourself with the best thinkers in that industry. Whenever possible, it is critical to be around the founders of companies that have invented revolutionary technology in that industry.

For example, Lansing, Michigan, used to be one of those areas when Ransom E. Olds helped invent the auto industry here around 1900-1930. Lansing became a beacon of hope and a bright light, attracting the best thinkers and workers from around the world to join in on the truly revolutionary effort. They aimed to mass-produce the automobile, invent the mass manufacturing line, and literally change the world.

All the best and brightest workers thinking about the problem of transportation flocked to Lansing. If you went out to a bar or went to the lake with your friends, by default, you were around the smartest people in that industry. You were around the top minds thinking about how to revolutionize transportation for human use. Even a casual conversation over coffee could be one of the smartest conversations happening anywhere in the world on that particular topic.

What is truly marvelous is that it didn't have to be the CEO or the founder of the company that you were talking to or interacting with. When you are inside a company doing truly revolutionary work or even in the same city as that company, even if you are a new low-level employee just getting your start or just a citizen in the city, it is possible that you are still in the top 1% of thinkers on that particular topic.

In the example we are using of Lansing Michigan during the 1900-1930’s, the conversations happening in Lansing about revolutionizing transportation and the manufacturing process - were some of the most important in the entire world as it relates to that topic.

People don't realize this, but even the secretary at Google usually knows more about how search engines work than some people that I meet who own search engine optimization companies. That’s just how it happens when you’re in the right rooms and surround yourself with the right conversations.

Surround yourself with the best and brightest thinkers on whatever topic you want to learn about.

It seems obvious and we already recognize this about sports: If you want to be the best, you have to play against the best. It's strange that we don't understand this and embrace it in our professional careers enough. I certainly wish I would have realized it earlier in my career.

I don’t want to diminish or take away from the amazing fortune I’ve had and I want to give credit to the amazing influences and mentors I’ve had.

* From Big Dan Crimin, who taught me how to sell for the first time when I was working at Big George's Home Appliance Mart.

* Donnie Hoppes, Jason Spencer, and Jen Sumaraki, who taught me how to run the audio board and camera to produce the NBC Nightly News.

* And Mr. Schneider at Schneider Sheet Metal, who taught me how to make ductwork for homes.

But there is one simple fact that changed my trajectory and, I think, literally saved my career and taught me how to think.

That was because Bill Hamilton founded TechSmith Corporation and kept it in the Lansing, Michigan, area. I was fortunate that my high school friend Jenn Veldman Middlin happened to work there and was sitting across the table from me at my first interview. Without that, I probably never would have gotten the job. One of the reasons I love Jenn so dearly, even though we disagree on politics so severely (lol, I love you, Jen), is because I credit her with almost single-handedly changing my life.

But Bill Hamilton at TechSmith will always be like a second father to me.

TechSmith makes the software applications Snagit, which take screen captures of your computer screen, and Camtasia Studio, which made videos of your computer screen.

I didn't really know what software was when I was hired, and I certainly had no idea what it meant to invent a software application, do the coding to develop it, market it to customers, to become a multimillion-dollar product. TechSmith was one of the most beautiful companies I've ever worked for, comprised of some of the smartest people I've ever met in the world.

Being around those people made me smarter, no question—from Brooks Andrus who taught me all things “product”, to Betsy Weber on marketing, Michael Malinak, Paul Middlin, and Dean Craven on software development, Jim Hidlay on Sales, the Gardener twins, (Marty and Murphy) on insanely fast development, Daniel Park, Tony Lambert, Matt Ayo, Paul Wright, Jeff Kohler, Renee Badra, Amy Walsh, Carla Wardin, Tony Dunkle, and my all time favorite: Troy Stein: Troy taught me almost everything. (I know I missed many!!! SORRY!)

But the reason this all happened and the thing that brought us all together was Bill Hamilton.

Bill and his wife Susan created a culture where anyone could have any idea, and the status of the individual presenting the idea did not matter at all. The only thing that mattered was the correctness of the idea and how convincingly you could persuade others to your way of thinking.

I remember being a young punk kid, maybe 21 or 22, essentially doing customer service for sales calls. Even with my low level position, at TechSmith I was encouraged to sit in on some of the development and product marketing meetings for a software application that I knew nothing about. I had no expertise that qualified me to participate in those meetings. Yet, there I was.

I remember one meeting specifically a week or two into my employment that was about the Camtasia Studio’s non-destructive video editor. There were probably 10 brilliant people in the meeting, and me.

As the discussion went around the room and they discussed the product, I had a realization: I knew a little bit about the application because of my experience working at NBC Channel 10. I knew a little -- but not much —just enough to be dangerous.

I also had a chip on my shoulder from being fired from my previous job and after some prodding from Bill Hamilton, I got the courage to speak up.

“Do you guys realize this doesn’t function like any of the other video editing software on the market?” There was an audible gasp in the room as the youngest stupidest person at the table essentially disagreed with every decision that they had previously made.

The person who had hired me into TechSmith tried to get me to stop, but luckily Bill Hamilton was in the room. He embraced me, leaned in, and argued with me passionately. I argued back. I was certain I was going to be fired, but to my surprise, Bill Hamilton took me into the hallway afterward and continued the conversation.

He told me that he appreciated the feedback and welcomed it, and that I should continue to do it and sit in on more meetings. It was truly amazing.

Honestly, I don't even know if I was right about what I was saying. Looking back, I'm sure I probably wasn't, but that taught me the most important lesson of my life.

Surround yourself with smart people who want to hear your opinion regardless of your status, and people who judge you solely based on the content of your character and the quality of your thinking.

TechSmith taught me many things, but the main things it taught me were how to think, how to build companies, how to be skeptical of my own brain, it taught me strategies to disregard status in the search for truth, and taught me the importance of building high-quality teams of the smartest people in the world.

I am incredibly lucky that Bill Hamilton chose to keep TechSmith Corporation in the Lansing, Michigan, area. If it wasn't for that, I truly don't believe I would be the person I am today. That is not to say I am a perfect person. Far from it. But I’d certainly be a much shittier person if it wasn’t for Techsmith!

And this is precisely my point: because of my time at TechSmith, I know that perfection isn't an end state; it is a constant pursuit. The only way you can ever possibly get close to achieving it, which of course is never possible, is by surrounding yourself with smart people and continuing to push and challenge yourself every single day.

So, this concludes another love letter to Bill Hamilton, the founder of TechSmith Corporation.

So what do you do with this information? Probably nothing. Advice is mostly b******t.

But what I can tell you is what I wished I would have known when I was getting started.

* When you’re getting started, almost entirely ignore the salary. The reality is, when you’re young, to an amazing company doing important work you have no value at all. In most cases you should probably be paying them for the opportunity. So if you even get a small salary, be happy and jump at the chance.

* Get yourself into rooms with the smartest thinkers on the topics you care about. With the advancement of the internet that could be chat rooms, zoom calls, forums, or networking meet ups. But don’t undervalue the importance of being in the great cities of your time. In 1900, Lansing was one of those cities. That’s exactly what brought my family here. But today, if you want to make the best BBQ - get to Austin or Kansas City. If you want to revolutionize finance with Blockchain technology, get to Miami. If you want to gain access to capital to scale up a software enabled startup, get to San Fran. (Even with all its recent problems)

Apologies to Lansing

I’m committed to Lansing and I don’t mean this post with any ill will. I hope that I can be a tiny part of hopefully reigniting the entrepreneurial spirit of this area. But I also have to be honest about how I feel or else I’m not doing a service to anyone including myself.

So if you’re mad at me for this post, blame Bill Hamilton, because I learned this at TechSmith. :)

I’d love to hear from you. What do you think?

I always thought I was doing them a favor.

But, in my experience, most people would rather go on being wrong than face the personal trauma of being confronted with new information that doesn’t align with their opinion—even when their opinion is incorrect.

It was easy for me to recognize this silliness when I was the one dispensing the correction because the receiver would surprise me by becoming uncomfortable or angry with me.

But what was harder for me to recognize was that I could be guilty of this silly behavior too!

When I was confronted with the reality that I was wrong, it could cause me perceived pain.

But I now realize it is the glorious pain of productive growth and development. It’s similar to the pain one feels when working out or lifting weights.

I’ve worked hard to try to change this perspective and behavior within myself, and I’m certainly not perfect.

But now I celebrate the frequent times that I discover I’ve been wrong, even when it causes me temporary pain and discomfort.

I must train and condition myself to love the pain and to celebrate it, just like fitness.

And much like it could be easy to hate the treadmill for causing me pain, it is easy to see the person exposing my ignorance as my enemy. But that is misguided and wrong.

My life is greatly improved when I shift my perspective and view them as my most loyal and loving friend because they are the ones invested in making me a better version of myself.

Thanks to all of my loyal, generous, and loving friends who were so committed to my improvement that they were willing to cause me a little temporary pain. ❤️

But there is a disclaimer: most people don’t want this. They would rather go on being wrong, just as they don’t want to be told they should work out. So you have to be careful to identify those people—otherwise, you’ll be seen as an arrogant jerk (guilty!).

So my goal is to find those people who want to improve, those who embrace the temporary pain as a necessary part of their lifelong pursuit of an unachievable perfection.

Because those are the people who truly understand that the journey is more important than the destination.

They realize the only goal is to be just a little bit smarter, a little bit stronger, a little bit better tomorrow than they are today.

*Remember: these are never lectures but reminders to myself.*

So why did they settle? Because if they didn’t settle they could have faced a fine close to $6 Billion!  They settled, gave up their right to appeal, and they probably got off cheap.  

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But, it’s still progress.  

At issue was a few key points that seem to be clearly anti competitive.  

For some background, when you buy a house in the USA, in general there is a 6% real estate commission that is typically shared between the agent representing the buyer and the agent representing the seller.  

The entire commission is actually paid by the seller of the house.  So if you are selling a house for $1,000,000, $60,000 of your money is split between each realty company.

It’s worth noting that this 6% real estate commission is one of the highest in the world.  Most countries it’s around 1-3%! We have been getting screwed and since this fee is fully paid by the seller of the house, it has been artificially inflating the price of houses.  

Think about it like this.  If you know you know your house is worth $1,000,000 and that’s how much you need in your pocket to leave your house, the sale price needs to be about $1,063,000 for you to be able to pay out the real estate commissions and still end up with $1,000,000.  There is no free lunch.  That means you will need to inflate the price of the house to $1,063,000.

How did America end up with this system?  When you go to list your house, the realtors have a few way of controlling the entire process.   It always seemed like illegal collusion to me, and it looks like the courts agreed.  

First is, the realtors themselves were basically required to be a part of the Multiple Listing Service (MLS), the system that lists all the houses for sale.  

When an agent listed a house, the rules would require the realtor publish the commission that the buyers agent would get right on the MLS. 

And when you went to list your house, the realtor would make you sign a contract that you agree to pay the 6% fee and split it with the buyers agent.  

There were some ways around this, but it made it WAY harder to sell your house.  

I want to tell you a real story of exactly how it worked.  

I have sold 2 houses without using a realtor and I have purchased 1 home without a realtor.  

In recent years some services sprung up to offer a way for you to sell a house and have it listed in the MLS by paying a flat fee of between $100 and $500.  It is way less expensive than the $25,000 commission for the average home sale in America.  

So why didn’t everyone do this like I did?  Because real estate agents HATED IT and they essentially wouldn’t work with you.  I experienced this myself first hand.

Realtors will frequently claim that this never happened and that they would never put their commissions over the needs of their clients.  I know for a fact this was a lie.  

When we were selling our house in East Lansing I met with 4 different realtors to list the house.  Only one would negotiate on the commission rate and it was only a slight decrease.  

All of them gave me their suggested listing price.  

I ended up opting to list it myself on a self serve MLS platform and I decided to market and advertise the property myself.  I took all the pictures and videos and I paid money to advertise it myself.  

Our house was listed in the MLS, Zillow, Realtor.com, Facebook, etc.  Just like it would be if it was listed by a traditional agent.  

Within a day or two, we showed the house to a friend of a friend and they agreed to purchase it.  It was a military couple, it was their first house purchase, and they were not represented by a buyers agent yet.  

From the very beginning of the process I was very clear with them.  

I warned them: 

* We will not pay your realtor commissions.  That is up to you.  

* You certainly have the right to get your own realtor.  

* If you choose to get a realtor, you are responsible for paying the commissions. 

* The biggest warning of all: if you do get a realtor, they will try to kill the deal.  

The couple was amazing but they couldn’t understand why a realtor would try to kill the deal since the couple had done all the work to find the house, done the showing and walk through, and negotiated the sale price.  

But since this was their first house purchase, after speaking with their parents, they decided to hire a real estate agent.  

Immediately, problems started.  The agent and I spoke.  I explained that I would not pay their commissions  and that the buying couple was well aware of that and had agreed. 

The buyers agent would verbally say they understood but then would sneakily send me contracts with hidden language that tried to get me to agree to paying their commissions!   It was very sneaky.

They attempted this 3 times.  I refused every time.  Luckily, I’m a nerd and read contracts.  

When I refused to sign, the agent sent their broker to try to convince me.  Again, I refused.  They even suggested that I RAISE the price of the house to cover their commissions.  

Translation: they tried to get their clients a worse deal!  It was so gross to watch.  

When I denied their attempts, I immediately informed their clients, the buyers of the house, of what was going on.  The clients were shocked to learn that their own realtors were working against their own interests.  

Nonetheless, the deal moved forward.  For a short while.  

Like many Americans, we have security cameras on the outside of our home by the doors.  

Somehow the agent didn’t realize that these cameras record audio.  I heard the agent give the client every reason in the book why they should NOT buy this house.  

Over and over the agent would try to kill the deal.  “You won’t want to be this close to the road”. “You won’t be worried being in East Lansing with college kids?”   “You know 2 bedrooms might not be enough in the future”.  

The agent didn’t say a single positive thing.  It was so obvious what they were doing.  

Of course, the buyers called me personally and told me they were going to back out of the deal and I could keep their earnest money deposit because they were so embarrassed by everything that had happened.  

I refunded their money and moved on.  

With this particular house sale, I had more than 15 agents contact me representing their clients.  On every contact a few things were clear: 

* The agent was only contacting because their client wanted to buy the house or get a showing.  

* The agent hoped to talk me into letting them list my house for sale.  (This way they would pocket both sides of the commission and get closer to keeping the full 6%)

* The agent wanted me to agree to pay their commission fee before they would show the house to their client.  I of course refused.  

* Only one of those agents ended up showing the house to their client.  

This experience was so gross to me because it showed that the actual buyer of the home, their client, was not being responsibly represented.  Their best interests were not being considered.  

At least 14 buyers that wanted to see our house, and asked their agents to setup the showing - we’re not able to tour the house because their own realtor put their financial interest over the interests of their clients.  

Now, I am NOT saying all realtors are bad.  I am NOT saying that realtors don’t deserve to be paid.  But I am sharing a story that actually happened.   

And when I sold a house a few years later, it happened the same way.  100% of the times that I sold a house by myself without the use of real estate agents, this is what happened.  

This doesn’t mean that it happens all the time, but it definitely means that it happens at least some of the time.  

So what happened with the sale of our East Lansing house?

We ended up selling the house to a person that found it on Zillow. They did not have a realtor representing them. On average between the 4 different agents we considered listing with, the sales price of the house was $10,000 more than the listing agents suggested listing price and because we didn’t have to pay any realtor commissions, we ended up keeping $15,000+ more than what we would have if we had used a realtor.

The NAR settlement does the following:  

* The settlement bans N.A.R. from allowing seller’s agents to set compensation for buyer’s agents.

* It aims to prevent "steering" by prohibiting practices that encourage buyers' agents to favor pricier homes for higher commissions.

* All fields displaying broker compensation must be removed from MLS databases.

* It eliminates the requirement for agents to subscribe to MLS to offer or accept compensation.

* The settlement may lead agents to reconsider their association membership due to severed links between agent compensation and MLS access.

It goes without saying, I love all my real estate friends and none of these systems were their fault. I think that this recent settlement will end up being better for realtors and consumers in the long run. But it might be a bumpy ride for a bit.

TLDR: Here’s the short version…

* I believe in active citizenship, so I joined the School Board.

* I had a silly idea to donate $3,000 to any staff or teacher at the school district.

* To make it a democratic process, I allowed anyone to nominate a staff member and vote for a winner online. Then I’d select the winner from the top ten.

* A few people got pissed! Calls to other board members, calls to the admin staff, outrage online… the whole nine yards.

* Now I need to decide if I should just cancel the whole thing, I want your input!

* And now I’m also considering resigning from the schoolboard. It just doesn’t seem worth it.

* And THIS is why people don’t serve.

As many of you know, I strongly believe that the duty of a citizen means more than simply voting. It means actually serving and participating in our democracy.

As a part of that philosophy, I decided to join the Haslett school board in October 2023. I was appointed so I didn’t have to go through the whole election process.

It has been an incredibly rewarding and educational process, but it also has been an incredibly high time commitment.

I’ve missed putting Lane to bed and reading him a book, which is one of my favorite activities, several nights. I’m missing an event with my wife tonight and a whole trip next week. But I am still honored to be able to serve.

A few months back, I received an email from the school staff asking me for my clothing sizes because they needed to order me a gown for Haslett Graduation.

I don’t know why I never thought of it, but I didn’t know that I would be on the stage with the graduates celebrating them. At my own graduation I remember looking up at the podium in admiration of those people all dressed up on the stage. It is very surprising to think that I am going to be one of those people on the stage.

This got me thinking about graduation a lot. A couple of Sundays ago, I was on a 10-mile run around Haslett and had the idea to give away some money to graduates of Haslett Schools. I thought about maybe giving some kind of scholarship to reward students considering a path toward entrepreneurship.

But after a lot of consideration and talking with my wife, we decided that there are lots of scholarships for students, which is awesome! But there aren’t a lot of scholarships or direct monetary awards for the dedicated staff members of the school district.

So I got home from that run and, after talking with my wife, I wrote a post on May 5, 2024, that basically said I was going to give $3,000 away to any staff member of Haslett Public Schools.

I thought a way to make it more democratic and get more people involved would be to let anyone in the community or the staff member themselves nominate any staff member and share a story about how that staff member impacted their life in a positive way and why they should receive the award.

Then I had the idea of making it as fair as possible by allowing anyone in the Haslett community to vote for the award by commenting or liking the comment that nominated a particular person.

I felt like this was the way to get the community involved and make it as democratic as possible.

My wife would select the top 10 nominees that got the most votes, and then I would select a winner. Then I would give the individual staff member $3000 directly from myself. I felt this was the most fair because I wasn’t the only one just picking the person that would receive the gift.

I clearly stated in the post that this had nothing to do with my position on the school board and this wasn’t a part of the school district.

I have taken all of the board trainings, and I am a certified board member. From my reading of the rules and my understanding, this wasn’t a violation of any laws or any ethical rules by the state or district.

I never anticipated the amount of backlash that this would receive.

Sadly, my friends on the school board received complaints about this. The administration team at Haslett Public Schools received complaints as well. So many that they actually had to have their attorneys review my proposal, and they arrived at the same conclusion that I did: this was completely legal and not a violation of any ethical rules or guidelines.

The complaints seemed to be categorized into a few main points:

* It was a popularity contest

* It was illegal or unethical or a violation of board policy

* I should not be involved in selecting the winner

* I should have used the Haslett Foundation

* It "just felt wrong"

Some specific feedback included:

* "It's a morale killer."

* "It will do more harm than good."

* "As a board member why not work harder on getting all of the staff a much needed raise?"

* "A better idea may be to donate the money to a building in the name of the staff member you pick."

* "You should have done this through the foundation."

* "You should have done a scholarship."

* "What about paraprofessionals? (Even though it says for all staff)"

* "Why not all staff instead of just one?"

But I have addressed all of these concerns in my approach. I tried to reason with people with responses and even phone calls to upset individuals. No one changed their mind despite me giving more context and background.

Even though I disagreed with the criticisms, I decided to listen to their advice and made a private form where anyone could submit a nomination so that it wouldn’t be a popularity contest. I thought this would address one of the main criticisms. But it didn’t.

Why Didn’t I Give the Money to The Foundation For Haslett Schools?

The other general complaint revolved around the idea that instead of me giving the money directly to the staff member, I should instead donate the money to the Haslett Education Foundation, an organization that I already contribute to and value.

The reason I didn’t give the money directly to the foundation is because the foundation has recently hired an executive director, which is quite costly. The executive director's compensation put a lot of overhead onto the foundation.

I didn’t want the donation to go towards overhead expenses; I wanted all of the $3000 to go directly to the staff member of Haslett Public Schools. I continue to donate to the Haslett Public Schools Community Foundation, but for this particular donation, I wanted it to directly go to the staff member that needed it, and I didn’t want to burden the foundation with administering and managing this donation without being compensated for that work. It didn’t seem fair to me to make them administer it without being compensated.

After sharing the reasons why I did it this way and changing the nomination process to address all the negative criticism, it didn’t satisfy any of the upset people.

Now the criticism is that “it just doesn’t feel right” or “you shouldn’t be involved in picking the winner” or “it’s just wrong.”

I must say. I’m rather dismayed by this whole thing. Something that I thought would be a fun and happy event has been tarnished by a constant stream of criticism. Of course, the VAST majority of people have been positive. But some of the loudest complaints are from people I have known for 15+ years and have personally helped in the recent past. I know I shouldn’t let it upset me, but I have to be honest, it does.

So I’m not sure where this leaves me. To be honest, I want to cancel the donation if that is what the community wants.

I feel bad that this donation has caused my other school board members to have to spend time on this. I feel bad that this has been a headache for the dedicated administration team at Haslett Schools to have to deal with.

And if I’m being more honest… it makes me want to resign from the school board altogether.

I don’t know how anyone signs up to be a politician. This seems like a terrible job.

Let me know what you think I should do by replying to this email, commenting below, or sending me a text message.

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I would suggest, this isn’t a problem of corporations. Definitely not ALL corporations.

Let me explain, last week I closed a business that I founded called Open Install Alliance. I tried it, I lost some money, and it failed. I had to pay $890 to the government last week just for the privilege of closing the company (Dissolution).

This cost no one else anything. So point 1 is just clearly wrong. When a corporation closes, we don’t get to socialize the losses. It’s not corporations that do this. Not, ALL, corporations socialize their losses.

What Mr Stewart is referring to is NOT a problem of capitalism or corporations. It is a problem of too much regulatory control by government.

He says that it is “big corporations” that privatize their losses, yes, that’s right in some cases and it’s gross.

But how do corporations do this? By lobbying the massive government to do things that enrich the politicians themselves, the individual corporation, and in most cases at the expense of the common taxpayer.

It’s wrong. It should be stopped.

But I would suggest that the data is clear, it’s not the Corporation’s that are the problem. It is the bigness of government that is the problem. It is the fact that government has its tentacles into every single area of our lives.

To test this is rather easy, if you were to remove the government from the equation and let’s say GM (a company I so love) was faced with another 2008 financial crisis, what would happen?

GM would have been forced out of business, or sold to another competitor at a discount. It was only the fact that they were able to influence Government that they were able to socialize their losses.

Without government, GM does not have the power of coercion to force all Americans to pay for their mistakes or socialize their losses as Stewart points out.

What Stewart advocates for is expanding government more. This is precisely the wrong direction.

If instead we reduced government, became more capitalistic, we would have a more dynamic and vibrant economy.

But it would be messier!

It inherently means that companies would go out of business more frequently, it would mean that people and corporations alike would be forced to confront the difficult circumstances that their own choices produced.

BUT ultimately, it would be better for everyone and it would make us all richer.

You can see this if you look at America at its founding vs America today. How long did it take the build the Empire State Building? How long does it take to fix a road today? It took about 7 years to build the first transcontinental railroad in the United States. How long would it take today?

We have made well intentioned tradeoffs over the years that we didn’t know would create these outcomes. But now we must be forced to reckon with the reality in which we now live.

Now let me say it more clearly: Government is important. But it must be limited to the things it does well and are necessities.

Examples:

* Government Necessity: Providing Justice.

* Not a necessity: Limiting what lightbulb you’re allowed to buy.

* Government Necessity: Resolving Bankruptcy.

* Not Necessity: Giving money to a company to prevent its bankruptcy.

Side note: I think it’s funny how Stewart says “wealthy people” without acknowledging that he is one…

God bless America. God bless Jon Stewart. I just think he has this one a little bit wrong.

However, I recently got my hands on Tesla’s Full Self Driving version 12, marking the first iteration that leverages machine learning and neural networks, akin to AI systems like ChatGPT. This new approach eschews traditional programming for a model where the system learns by observing the world’s best drivers (with consent) and emulates their driving styles. This is a huge advancement for many reasons.

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* By using end to end neural networks (Think AI), instead of software developers needing to code millions of lines of descriptive computer code, (A stop sign looks like this… This is what you do when you see a stop sign… ETC) with the new system, Tesla was able to throw away more than 300,000 lines of explicit C++ code. Now, quite literally, the computer is writing it’s own code!

* Because the system is now learning by watching and mimicking the best drivers, it drives much more smoothly. The drive feels more natural. More like a human is driving.

* Development is much faster now. Instead of software developers needing to explicitly program every line of code, the computer system is learning and coding by itself!

* The computer learns by observing, not being told what to do. For instance, in the past when the programming was all done by humans, a human would have to program into the system how to avoid potholes. But now since the system is just observing what great drivers do and mimicking their behavior, the system has taught itself how to identify potholes and what to do to avoid them. It’s not perfect yet. But it’s getting pretty good.

When we returned from our trip to North Carolina it was our first long car ride using Full Self Driving Version 12. With the old software, the system would drive us about 90% of the drive.

But this drive was MUCH better! The system handled everything from highways to parking lots seamlessly. The only manual tasks I had to perform were deciding on parking specifics, like whether we were stopping for a drive-thru or parking to go inside the restaurant.

Laken, who has been skeptical of the jerky nature of the Full Self Driving (Beta) we’ve had for four years, was impressed with the new system. The latest version drives smoothly, mirroring human-like driving precision. It’s quite the game-changer.

With 3 million Teslas already equipped with the necessary hardware out of the 6 million produced, the implications are enormous. As these cars and the 2 million new Teslas produced annually start performing autonomous Uber rides, a lot of cool things are going to happen:

* A significant number of lives will be saved.

* It will compel other car manufacturers to license Tesla’s software, especially after the recent adoption of the Tesla charging standard by most car manufacturers.

* Most cars, which currently sit idle and parked 95% of the time, represent a huge waste of resources. Now, those same cars could be out driving autonomously, performing Uber rides and generating income. For many Americans, a car is the second largest expense they have; this shift has the potential to turn it into a profit-making asset.

To say I’m excited is an understatement. With the flip of a switch, 3 million cars on the road today are going to turn into Robots on 4 wheels. It’s going to save a lot of lives since car accidents are the number one cause of death for young Americans. And it’s going to make transportation cleaner, safer, and cheaper.

Mark my words, I predict that we will look back and say that April 2024 was the date that Humans Invented Self Driving Transportation.

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A quick housekeeping update. You probably noticed that I missed 2 weeks of posting. I’m sorry. I have been extremely busy and missed my deadlines. I’m hiring some help so that this won’t happen again. I have paused billing for paid subscribers and given you a Free Month due to me missing my deadlines.

Thank you so much for being a paid subscriber. I made it a full year publishing once a week. I plan to keep it going another year because of your amazing support. THANK YOU.

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I shared the readers previous comment in my last post titled “Challenge Results: All Participants Got Happy In 7 Days!”

That reader replied to the last post so I wanted to share it to see what you all think. I want to get outside opinions to see if maybe I’m off the mark on this one. I always like to check my thinking to make sure I’m not missing something. So I look forward to your feedback and input.

Below is their response to my last post. Please share your own feedback in the comments, email me, or in reply to this poll:

“Travis,

I’ve purposely waited a few days to comment after reading your most recent blog, just so I could rethink my prior comments, and your reaction to them.

I think it is wonderful that you have been successful overcoming your grief and depression.  I also think it is very kind of you to try to help total strangers do the same.  So, I am sorry if my words seemed harsh. In retrospect, they were.

Please know, that I didn’t take issue with your attempt to help others.  I merely thought that your offer to pay someone to try out your system of increasing happiness was misguided.

My issue was, and continues to be with your comments about the world being such a better place than when you grew up, because it clearly is not. Yes, advances in technology including space adventures have improved the world in many ways, but those same advances have made people crueler, and the world more dangerous.

The timing of your comments amidst horrific school shootings and increasingly dangerous world conflicts was what bothered me. I immediately wondered if the Michigan school shooting had happened in the Haslett school district where you are a member of the school board instead of Oxford, would you still have blogged about how much greater our world is today?

How would you have responded to the parents whose children’s lives were brutally taken from them?  Would you still have issued your be happy challenge to members of a community devastated by another horrific act of school gun violence, which incidentally, never happened when I was growing up?  

That’s what I meant by being tone deaf.  

I still think you mean well.

Take care”

Here is the readers original response to my offer:

“There’s a reason for that Travis, and it’s not the money. Are you really that tone deaf?

I read your comments a while ago about how much greater the world is today than in the past because of Elon Musk and his space ship right around the time that I read the horrific stories of the numerous women, young and old in Israel who were gang raped, passed from soldier to soldier, had their breasts cut off and tossed around like footballs, and only after all of that were brutally murdered.

Seriously?

Just yesterday, I watched the sentencing of the stupid kid from Oxford whose stupid and neglectful parents bought him a hand gun which he then used to execute four of his classmates, and traumatize an entire community.

This is the world we are leaving our children and grandchildren. It is NOT better. It is not better than the era when I went to school with my parents or myself not fearing if I would could home at the end of the day.

Your privilege is blinding you.”

I look forward to hearing from you. Am I off base?

Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Scribe has been around for almost a decade and has produced 2,000 plus books. Hundreds of them have been Amazon best sellers and 23+ were New York Times & WSJ best sellers. They have published books from authors like: David Goggins, Tiffany Haddish, Dan Sullivan, Kevin Harrington, and Tucker Max (Founder).

After the founders of Scribe sold the company to a new owner a few years ago, sadly, the new owners mismanaged it and it went bankrupt.

But Scribe provides an important service to the world and has some of the most loyal & amazing employees I've ever met.

So we are rescuing it and our goal is to make it the largest book publisher in the world. Eric is now the CEO. Sieva & Xavier from Enduring Ventures are backing.

So how is Scribe different? With a traditional book publisher, they only publish books that they know are going to succeed, they give you a pretty small up front payment, you lose control of your book, and you only get paid a very small fraction of what the book sells for.

Scribe is totally different. Our authors retain all the rights and control to their book. We help them write it, publish it, print it, distribute it, market it - everything. And the author keeps full control. It's a completely different model.

What's really cool about Scribe is, if you already have a book written - awesome. We can edit, publish, and market it for you. But if you need us to help you write it, we can do that too.

We pair you with a award winning author, you commit to doing a 2 hour interview with us every week, and at the end you have a fully published book! Literally anyone with a story to tell and an expertise can be a published author. (Let me know if you want to publish a book!)

So why am I doing this? I was a little bored and was struggling to figure out what big task I wanted to take on next and I was venting to my best buddy Ryan James: He said "Just be patient, let it come to you, it always has." 3 days later my good buddy Eric Jorgenson let me know about what was going on at Scribe... Timing is everything!

I like to think of my life in Seasons... The season I'm in now is all about becoming a better writer, hence my Year Of The Opposite newsletter... Also, I've always gotten excited about learning new industries and businesses. I call myself "Industry Agnostic". I've done Media, Manufacturing, Sales, Software, Hospitality, and Data Centers. Business is my sport.

So now being able to learn the ins and outs of the publishing industry and helping to revive one of the most important publishing brands in the world. It was perfect timing.

FYI: I'll continue writing Year Of The Opposite every week, none of my other businesses are going away - I'm adding on, not replacing. I'll even have a cool announcement next week.

Stay tuned.

Thanks to YOU for caring enough to read this. I'm truly blessed.

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Read Time: 6 minutes.

3 months ago I proposed a crazy challenge: “You'll be happier in 7 days or I'll pay you $500!” I proposed this challenge because I was worried about how many of my friends were telling me that they were depressed. I had an idea that perhaps the strategies that worked to resolve my own depression from grief might help others.

I was a little surprised that this offer upset one of my loyal readers and someone I respect. After I mentioned that no one had accepted my challenge, I announced that I was raising the reward from $50 to $500, prompting this response:

“There’s a reason for that Travis, and it’s not the money. Are you really that tone deaf?

I read your comments a while ago about how much greater the world is today than in the past because of Elon Musk and his space ship right around the time that I read the horrific stories of the numerous women, young and old in Israel who were gang raped, passed from soldier to soldier, had their breasts cut off and tossed around like footballs, and only after all of that were brutally murdered.

Seriously?

Just yesterday, I watched the sentencing of the stupid kid from Oxford whose stupid and neglectful parents bought him a hand gun which he then used to execute four of his classmates, and traumatize an entire community.

This is the world we are leaving our children and grandchildren. It is NOT better. It is not better than the era when I went to school with my parents or myself not fearing if I would could home at the end of the day.

Your privilege is blinding you.”

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Ouch. The comment stung me a little bit but I tried to make sure to listen for the truth in it. One of my favorite quotes from Naval is: “If it hurts to hear it, look for the truth in it. If it comforts to hear it, look for the lie in it.”

Maybe she was right. Maybe I was delusional that these simple steps might help make people a little happier. Maybe the world is just terrible and getting worse and this explains everyone’s sadness. Maybe she was right.

Luckily, 6 readers took me up on my challenge, so we were able to see if she was right! Let’s take a look…

As a reminder, here are the rules for the challenge to make you happier.

* Work out for 30 minutes everyday.

* Ignore your phone, email, & social media for the first 1 hour of the day and the last 1 hour before you go to bed - every single day.

* Keep a private journal everyday.

* No alcohol or drugs that aren’t prescribed by a doctor for all 7 days.

Results: Lets see how those 6 participants did!

* Average Happiness Before the Challenge: Participants rated their happiness an average of 5.67 out of 10 before starting the challenge.

* Average Happiness After the Challenge: After completing the challenge, the average happiness rating increased to 7.67 out of 10.

* Average Tasks Completed: On average, participants completed about 25 out of the 28 tasks, indicating a high level of engagement with the challenge activities.

* Average Happiness Increase: The challenge resulted in an average happiness increase of 2 points on the happiness scale.

* Maximum Happiness Increase: The largest reported increase in happiness from a participant was 4 points on the scale.

* Minimum Happiness Increase: The smallest change recorded was no change in happiness level. But it is worth noting that this individual already had a very high happiness level at 9 out of 10. It stayed constant at 9 out of 10.

* Number of Participants Who Reported an Increase or the Same Happiness Level: 6 out of 6 participants!

This was A HUGE success! Thank you to all 6 participants.

Here is the feedback from each participant:

* "It definitely worked, and the motivational texts helped keep me on track. I liked the journaling because it allowed me to ""vent"" to myself in writing and then go to bed with a clear mind. Also no phone/email/etc. for the first and last hour of the day really helped my sleep - much more than I thought it would. Trying to continue that habit! Also working toward no TV for an hour before bed as well - but I watch the news before bed :( Baby steps! Thank you Travis!"

* "I thought the challenge had some valuable components. I was really good about shutting my phone off at night, so I was reading instead of doom scrolling. That was an accomplishment all by itself. I haven't been good about sticking with it, but filling out this survey is making it top of mind again. I was also a lot better about journaling when I was doing the challenge. I think the important part of that was that the journal prompts were positive. Since I have had some things going on in my personal life, my journaling has tended to be reliving negatives and trying to make sense of things. I haven't been disciplined about self affirmation. The most valuable piece of all of it was being accountable to someone I perceive as successful and disciplined, and also someone who wasn't my mom or an old friend with whom I would probably get away with (at least in my own head) being slightly less accountable than with a peer in the business community. Thanks for the opportunity!"

* “I didn't really participate to increase my happiness. I was interested in starting some habits that are pretty well proven to improve your life. My only feedback for the next rou s of research might be some simple tools to break the inertia. A checklist to check off every day once a task is done. A document with a couple prompt questions for the thankfulness journal. Nothing too advanced and nothing that need to be turned in. Just tools for those who want to use them that might help. Looking forward to hearing more about where you might be going with this line of thinking and informal research. And....we need to set a date to.tour the maker space. I need to get creating again.

* "Definetly felt better and slept better when I followed the phone rule. Activity is a bit difficult due to back issues, but I did start a regimen of chair yoga. Continue to do it as I'm able. You continue to be an inspiration! Carry on!"

* “I loved the challenge of it. Life is just hard especially with a toddler running around getting sick all the time... It was a great experience”

* “It was a great motivator for me and I was determined to succeed (I did). The flexibility of the task timing helped a lot. I have continued on with the tasks, and in particular, the exercise. But being more mindful of screen time was also a great habit to get into. Overall, I feel more mindful, relaxed and happy. Glad I took you up on the challenge!”

My thoughts on this data:

* This Reinforces The Theme of The Year Of The Opposite: If you are disappointed with your life or sad, change it up and it might have a huge positive impact! What worked for me has now worked for 6 others.

* The biggest benefit went to those that are very sad to begin with: Participants who started off with a Low Initial Happiness level experienced a greater increase in happiness, with an average increase of 3.0 points on the happiness scale. In contrast, those with High Initial Happiness levels saw a smaller average increase, at 1.5 points. This suggests that participants who began the challenge with lower levels of happiness had more room for improvement and, as a result, tended to see a more significant positive change through their participation in the challenge.

* Too Many Variables: I think I may have introduced too many variables into this challenge by having everyone complete 4 tasks each day. Since there are 4 variables, it’s hard to know which action had the highest impact.

* Accountability and Community is hugely important to happiness: One of the things that I did for this challenge was that I kept in contact with each of the participants each day. This seemed to make a big impact on the participants. It goes to show how important having an accountability partner and a strong social network are to your happiness.

* Ignoring Screen Time Had Huge Impact: Participants reported that ignoring their phone had a massive impact on their happiness. I was surprised at how many people mentioned this in their feedback.

My Hypothesis:

There is clear scientific research that all 4 of these activities are statistically proven to improve happiness. But I have a hypothesis that I would like to test at some point.

I’m starting to think that only one thing matters: Your Reputation With Yourself. When someone sets a goal to accomplish and then they follow through and achieve it, it makes them happy! We all know it. We’ve all felt it.

It was said that “Self esteem is just the reputation you have with yourself.” If you are a person that can set goals for yourself and follow through with them, you’re gonna be happier. I know this deep in my bones. If the goal is challenging, it’s gonna have an even greater benefit to your mood.

I have an idea to launch another challenge. I think that if an individual set themselves a goal to do something positive for themselves every single day and they completed it consistently, I think it would make every person happier. I don’t think it was so much the specific tasks that I setup.

For instance: If you want to learn the piano and you set a goal to practice everyday for 10 minutes, I bet you’d be happier at the end of a week! If you wanted to learn spanish and you practiced consistently everyday for a week, I bet you’d be happier at the end.

The bigger the goal, the more challenging it is to you, and the more important it is to you - I bet it would correlate with the improvement in your mood. The bigger the goal, the greater the improvement in your mood. But this is just a theory I’d like to test.

Challenges With The Data:

Of course, this is not a scientific study, it’s only a few individuals, the data is self reported, and probably the biggest issue with the data is a “selection bias”. Which basically means, the people that selected themselves to participate in my challenge are probably people not fully representative of the human population because they are all people that follow my newsletter and they are people that are willing to challenge themselves to get happier.

But even with the challenges in this imperfect study, every single person (including me) improved their mood and one person kept their happy mode consistent. That to me is incredibly awesome!

Thank You!

Thank you so much to all 6 participants in the challenge. I appreciate you.

If anyone would like to take me up on the $500 challenge for themselves, I’m willing to do it again! Just let me know by leaving a comment.

Thank you all so much for reading my newsletter, The Year Of The Opposite. Don’t forget that all of my articles are available as a podcast too. If you enjoyed this, I would really appreciate if you would share this with a friend.

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Whenever I’m sick I am reminded of the quote: “A healthy person wants a million things. A sick person wants just one.” This made me want to tell the story of the medical therapy ATA188.

A month ago I shared the story of an incredible invention that will cure the terrible pain from Sickle Cell Disease. Miraculously, there are now two drugs approved by the FDA that completely cure this disease. It is truly incredible.

But we also discussed that the drugs Casgevy and Lyfgenia are priced at $2 million to $3 million per treatment!

A shocking price tag to say the least.

It’s understandable why someone might look at that price tag and get angry with the company that is selling the products. How dare they charge millions of dollars for something that is supposed to help cure people?

This brings up a big hairy question: How much should medical treatments cost? How should they be priced?

In the case of these two drugs, the alternative treatment for the patients costs $4 million over a lifetime and doesn’t provide relief from pain. So even at $2-$3million, the new treatment is less expensive, better for the patient, and saves the patient from a lot of ongoing pain.

But even so, I can totally understand why someone would still look at the $3 Million price tag and think that the pharmaceutical company that is selling the drug is a money hungry monster. I get it.

But not all drugs that are tested are successful like Casgevy and Lyfgenia.

Take for instance, ATA188 from Atara Biotherapeutics.

ATA188 is an immune therapy designed to treat multiple sclerosis (MS). This therapy is working on the newly developed theory that MS might be caused by the Epstein-Barr virus (EBV) in someway. This really cool study of over 10,000,000 military personnel showed a strong correlation between EBV and MS.

ATA188 hoped to use healthy t-cells to target EBV cells to reduce or halt the progression of MS, offering a new approach to treating this chronic disease.

I have two close family members that suffer with MS so I have been following this treatment fairly closely in hopes that it could offer some answers and potentially a solution for my loved one.

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A little history on drug/therapy development:

Medical treatments like drugs and immunotherapies like ATA188 usually involve many partners and organizations that work together to test and develop these medical inventions. For ATA188, Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center and QIMR Berghofer Medical Research Institute were involved. Atara Biotherapeutics was the company that was commercializing the technology.

What does this mean? Well basically the universities are often the ones that invent the new therapy or drug but they aren’t that great at testing, getting FDA approval, and bringing the drug/therapy to market so that patients can buy the product to help them.

So usually the Universities partner with a company or a bunch of investors to help get the innovation from the lab into the real world. That’s where a company like Atara Biotherapeutics comes in.

Atara enters into a licensing deal with the University and the people that invented ATA188 where, in most cases, the University/Inventor give the company a license to commercialize the invention, and in exchange they get fees and royalties if the product is sold to customers and patients.

But, the catch for Atara Biotherapeutics is that now they must pay for the testing and trials that go into getting the drug/therapy approved. This can take a very long time and cost a hell of a lot of money.

For instance, the phase 1 trial for ATA188 was way back in 2017. As you may recall, in most cases there are 3 phases of trials. I’m greatly simplifying this but in general here is what the trials do:

* Phase 1: Get a small group of people, give them the drug/treatment, make sure it’s safe and test what dosage to give.

* Phase 2: Get a larger group of people and make sure it’s safe and figure out what the best dosage to give is.

* Phase 3: Get an even larger group to test that the drug is safe and evaluate how it compares to the alternative treatments on the market and placebo.

All of us in the MS community were thrilled when we saw the results of the Phase 1 trial. 9 of the 24 people in the trial had improvement in their disability! This got a lot of us very excited that we may finally have some relief for MS patients.

Of course, this early trial data got Atara Biotherapeutics excited too! With this result they wanted to put more money into funding Phase 2 trials.

Here is how they designed the Phase 2 study:

“The Phase 2 EMBOLD study for ATA188 is a randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled dose-expansion trial designed to evaluate the efficacy and safety of ATA188 in patients with progressive multiple sclerosis (PMS). The study, which began with the enrollment of the first patient in June 2020, aimed to measure changes in disability measures compared to baseline, particularly sustained disability improvement (SDI) over time. Additionally, the study included multiple measures of patients' function as well as various biomarkers.”

So to recap the timeline, the phase 1 study started in 2017 and the phase 2 portion of the study didn’t start until mid 2020.

This is one of the things that contributes to the cost of drugs. It just takes a long time to test them and make sure they are safe. Not only did it take 3 years from phase 1 to phase 2, but phase two itself was designed to last 2 years.

Sadly, in November of 2023, we got the first results from the Phase 2 trials and they were bad. The therapy had failed.

Here is the technical jargon:

“ATA188 did not meet its primary endpoint of change in confirmed disability improvement among patients with non-active progressive multiple sclerosis after 12 months of treatment. A 6% disability improvement was observed in the ATA188 group at the 12-month findings, which was significantly lower than the 33% observed in the Phase 1 study. The expected rate of confirmed disability improvement for patients on placebo was 16% at 12 months, exceeding the 4% to 6% expected rate.”

Basically, after 6 years of testing and a lot of hope and promise, the people that received the treatment in the study did WORSE than those that received a placebo. Somehow 16% of the people that received the placebo got better but only 6% of the people that received the treatment.

How could that be? How could people that didn’t get any treatment (placebo) do better than those that got the treatment? — We don’t know. But this is exactly why we do these tests. Not only do we have to make sure they are safe, but we also have to make sure that they perform better than a placebo.

So what happens with ATA188? It’s not certain yet. Atara Biotherapeutics has fired 25% of their staff including a VP and their Chief Medical Officer. The severance payments to those employees alone, just for firing them, was more than $4million.

So how much did Atara Biotherapeutics spend on ATA188?

It’s not easy to tell exactly how much was spent on ATA188, but what we do know is that Atara spent a lot on research and development:

* In 2020, the total R&D expenses were $244.65 million.

* In 2021, the total increased slightly to $282.001 million.

* In 2022, the total slightly decreased to $272.533 million​

Now of course, not all of that money was spent on ATA188 and these are just 2020, 2021 and 2022 numbers. So lets be very conservative, let’s say that $150,000,000 was spent to test ATA188. I think that is a very conservative number, but I can’t be sure.

That money is now gone. $150,000,000 out the door, never to return.

Not only is the money gone, but several medical professionals spent their time and effort for almost 7 years working on the testing for this drug. That time and effort is all gone now.

Where did the $150 million come from?

Atara is a publicly traded company meaning that anyone of the public can purchase shares in the company. The owners of the company are the ones that lost the $150,000,000. Take a look at their stock price:

Anyone that invested in Atara for the past 5 years, most likely lost a lot of money. So why did they invest? They invested because they believed ATA188 would work. Maybe they were suffering with MS so they wanted to put their money into a company that might provide a cure. Maybe they were just money seeking investors that read the Phase 1 study, got excited, and thought they could invest in the next Novo Nordisk stock that was going to the moon!

Whatever their rational, the investors that put money into Atara were the ones that took the financial risk to test ATA188. They risked their own capital to see if this treatment could help other humans.

On this bet, they lost. This drug failed and it probably cost them about $150,000,000! An incredible amount of money. Hard to imagine really.

It’s estimated that only 1 in 5,000 drugs/therapies that are tested make it to human clinical trials. And of the drugs / therapies that make it to human clinical trials, only 1 in 10 will ever get regulatory approval. That’s about a 0.002% chance that a therapy may be approved!

So why would anyone take the risk with their own money when there is only a 0.002% chance of success?

It’s easy to answer: They invest for the chance to make a lot of money.

Think about it like this…

Let’s say you are in vegas and you walk past a slot machine that says there is a .002% chance of winning. If you put in $1 you have a .002% chance of winning $10. Would you do it? Probably not.

But what about $1 bet for a .002% chance to win $1,000? Well now it’s a bit more exciting.

What about $1 bet for a .002% chance at winning $1,000,000,000? That’s a great bet to take!

As much as we like to think of medical inventions as being altruistic inventions that are solely accomplished by the brilliant scientist in a lab - that’s not how it actually works.

The drug and therapy discovery and invention process is a beautiful dance between several parties. The universities and government providing foundational support and investment, the government evaluating the safety and effectiveness of the treatments, business people establishing companies to commercialize these inventions, and investors providing the financial support to fund the testing.

So how does this all relate to the $2-$3 million Sickle Cell Therapy treatments?

Thanks for sticking with me as I got to the point. While I can see how someone would look at a $3million treatment and be shocked and outraged - we need to keep in mind how many ATA188’s are out there. How many drugs were tested that never saw the light of day? How much money was spent on developing drugs that didn’t get approved?

We must keep that in mind when thinking of healthcare costs and drug costs. There is a delicate balance that needs to be struck for a healthy society. We don’t want our health care costs to run out of control and eat up our economy. But we also want to make sure that we keep incentivizing new invention and drug discovery.

In order to do this we need:

* scientists that are incentivized financially to keep inventing new treatments

* investors that are incentivized financially to keep investing in new treatments.

I firmly believe that we need both of these things in order to maximize our society’s ability to invent new medical breakthroughs. As much as we like to hope that our medical inventions are done by noble scientists that don’t care about money - that doesn’t seem to be the reality.

Some people argue that we need to remove the “profit motive” from healthcare in order to serve patients better. I can sympathize with this view because it makes emotional sense. You don’t, for instance, want someone deciding who lives or dies based on how much money they have. I totally understand that argument.

But when it comes to medical invention and discovery, the profit motive is a very important component in my mind. To me personally, I think the investors that risked $150,000,000 of their own money with the hopes that Atara would invent a cure for MS are heroes! They risked a lot of their own capital in hopes that it would help other humans. It didn’t work out this time and they lost all or most of their money.

But if that investment had worked out, for me personally, I would hope that every single investor in ATA188 would be rewarded for their risk by getting filthy rich. Not because they are “profiting off the sick” but because they were the ones that invested in making the sick healthy. And to me, that’s the kind of investments we should be rewarding as a society.

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I apologize for posting this letter publicly. I know you’re a private guy. But I don’t have your new address.

Today marks two years since you left us and I have a lot of updates to share. But dude, I gotta confess, I was pretty angry at you for leaving the way you did. It kinda fucked me up.

Losing you sent me into a depression that was difficult to overcome. Hell, I still can’t listen to Jimmy Eat World songs without getting overwhelmed with emotion. You’ve kinda ruined that band for me.

And now, whenever I visit Detroit or Chicago, the experience feels somewhat lackluster. It's as if I'm perpetually on the outside, missing the rich, hidden layers of the city—those secret gems you once unveiled with your vast, encyclopedic knowledge of American urban greatness and history.

Two months ago I sold my stake in our chain of restaurants and that meant I had to dig through and archive decades of emails. I must have read 400+ emails between us going back 20+ years.

I was reminded of how your wit and charm always shined through even when writing emails.

You were one of the best storytellers I’ve ever known. Sometimes I wish you were here to give me feedback on this silly newsletter I write. I often wonder: “What would Shores think of this? How would he tell this story?”

Remember when we tried for 2 years to open a bar in Detroit?

You kept telling me: “Detroit is gonna come back. It is. We are getting in early.” I was skeptical. But, Boy o boy, were you right. Detroit is booming. It’s hard to get a hotel room or a reservation on some weekends. You nailed that!

But I’m not writing to complain about how you left us or reminisce about the amazing memories we had together.

I’m writing you to say Thank You, Joe.

No. That’s not right.

Thanks Shores! Or maybe even better, “Thank you, Shorsey Pop Pop!”

I’m not sure why I started calling you “Joe” only after you died. Grief does strange things to people.

But seriously, Thank You Shores.

Your passing marked a turning point in my life, a moment when the fragility of human existence became painfully clear. Yet, in the wake of sorrow, I discovered an unexpected gift: the capacity for change within myself.

To shake my grief I embarked on my “Year Of The Opposite.” - Kinda like Costanza. I know you’ll get the reference. Basically, all the things that I did before, I tried to do the opposite.

Remember how you used to urge me to travel more with you? Well, you were right. I’ve visited 50+ cities in the past 2 years.

Remember my “SPORTS!” t-shirt that I wore mockingly. Now I Golf, Run, Pickleball, workout, and am willing to play any sport I’m invited to. You were right about sports too.

Along the way, I even lost 60+ LBS! It was about time! I had really let myself go.

I made a bunch of crazy changes: ran 7 miles backwards, a marathon, swam across a lake, beat the BW3’s blazin wing challenge, flew a plane briefly, did a ride along with the police, school board member, cold plunge addict, and a bunch of other crazy things. You should subscribe to my newsletter so I can keep you updated. (Hey, you know I’m a marketing guy! Always Be Closing!)

But the biggest change you inspired in me was giving up alcohol. I always wondered why the booze didn’t get it’s hooks into me like it did you, I think I was just lucky. I’ve only had 35 occasions for celebratory drinks in the past 2 years. And honestly, the 35 times weren’t worth it. I may give it up for good.

When I look back, I’m embarrassed to admit how many of our amazing nights together revolved around alcohol. I felt really guilty that the substance that brought us together was the same substance that extinguished your bright flame. I’m sorry buddy.

Shores, you've shown me the interconnectedness of loss, growth, and gratitude in ways I never imagined.

Your impact stretches far beyond the life you lived, shaping my path in both big and small ways. With each change I've embraced, each new habit I've formed, and each moment of reflection I've experienced, I've drawn closer to the person your memory inspired me to be.

What initially felt like an insurmountable challenge has become a source of strength and motivation, pushing me to live a life filled with purpose, health, and happiness.

I want to engage with life in ways that honor your memory and the lessons that your loss has taught me.

So, thank you, Shores.

Thank you for the laughter and the lessons, for the moments shared and the impact made. Your legacy lives on, not just in memory but in the very fabric of my daily life and in the deepening of my connections with Wahl, Laur, Cookie, Paulie B, Paulie C, Cottone, Matty V, Benny V, Wiggs and all the Stoddard boys.

I wish I could have sent this message directly to you - but since it has to be public, maybe this homage will remind others of their own capacity for change. Maybe this can give one person hope that their lowest moments can reveal the best of their character.

Because in my darkest times, you've helped me seek out the light, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

With deep appreciation and lasting gratitude,

- Travy-pop.

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Bone marrow transplant has been the best treatment for patients, but it was very challenging to find a potential donor. Only 15% of siblings are a suitable match to be a donor and the chances of finding a match in the general population is about 10%. This means that only about 25% of patients suffering with Sickle Cell Disease had an option for treatment.

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The FDA has now approved two new treatments, Casgevy and Lyfgenia.

“Both products are made from the patients’ own blood stem cells, which are modified, and are given back as a one-time, single-dose infusion as part of a hematopoietic (blood) stem cell transplant. Prior to treatment, a patients’ own stem cells are collected, and then the patient must undergo myeloablative conditioning (high-dose chemotherapy), a process that removes cells from the bone marrow so they can be replaced with the modified cells in Casgevy and Lyfgenia. Patients who received Casgevy or Lyfgenia will be followed in a long-term study to evaluate each product’s safety and effectiveness.” (Link to FDA release)

“bone marrow transplant was the first potential cure for sickle cell disease, but trying to find a good match for a transplant is a big barrier. This new technology uses gene therapy to allow patients to be their own match.” - Cece Calhoun, MD, MBA, a Yale Medicine hematologist-oncologist.

This is a huge advancement and this same type of gene therapy could be offering hope for other diseases in the near future.

But what about the cost?

Casgevy, the first CRISPR therapy approved by the FDA, will cost $2.2 million.

Lyfgenia the competing genetic medicine is priced at $3.1 million.

Those price points are hard to imagine. But let’s put some context around them..

Lets compare the cost of the new treatments versus the current standard of care. Insurance companies and the industry estimates the cost of managing sickle cell over a lifetime for someone with recurrent pain is between $4 - $6 million.

So $4-6 million for the current treatment vs $2-$3million for the new treatment.

How much did it cost to develop Casgevy? That has been a bit hard for me to track down exactly. Vertex (the maker of Casgevy) and CRISPR Therapeutics have an interesting development agreement where they split the cost and profits 60:40. Vertex made a $200,000,000 payment to CRISPR Therapeutics to cover some of the R&D expense as they crossed the milestone of getting FDA approval.

However, this doesn’t really represent the entire cost of creating Casgevy, because it relies upon the technology created with CRISPR itself. CRISPR alone has had more than $1billion in R&D expense in the past 3-4 years. So how much did it cost to develop Casgevy? It’s hard to know exactly, but well into the billions of dollars for sure.

So should Casgevy cost $2.2million per treatment? I don’t know. But it’s something we are going to have to think about as a society. On one hand, we want to be able to fund research and development that invents new technologies that could help hundreds of thousands of people every year. But we also don’t want a health care system that is so large that the budget eats into the entire US economy.

It’s going to be interesting to see how this plays out over the coming years. This isn’t the last drug that is going to cost millions of dollars to get.

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I will be 56 years old when Lane turns 18 and as an older father, my mortality is always on my mind. I know that despite my best efforts to improve my health, any of us could be taken at any time. I don’t want Lane to be fatherless.

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I recognize that this is a rather morbid topic to think about but death and change are life’s only certainties. Memento Mori.

It got me thinking about how I could support my child best if I were to pass prematurely. Of course that led to estate planning and establishing a financial trust to secure his economic future in my absence.

But what about the emotional hole and trauma left by the absence of his father?

Not that I am particularly special as an individual, but the role that I play as a father is a rather significant responsibility. I tried to think of ways that I could help fill that hole if god forbid I was not able to be present physically.

That was one of the reasons I wanted to write this newsletter. I am documenting my thoughts, feelings, and perspectives so that they will be available to my son in the future if he is ever curious.

But when the artificial intelligence Chat GPT was released - it represented a huge opportunity.

What if I leveraged artificial intelligence to craft a digital version of myself, enabling Lane to converse with his dad in the future, even in my absence?

By documenting my thinking with writing and recordings - I could build a database that could be used in the future to train an artificial intelligence to create a Virtual Travis Stoliker.

No, it wouldn’t be perfect. Yes, many people would think it’s creepy and scary. But why not try?

Let me show you an example of how this might work…

Go to Chat GPT and ask it to tell you a story in the style of your favorite author or musician. Give it instructions on what you would like the story to be about and watch the magic.

For instance, here is a story that I generated with Chat GPT that is about Lane in the style of Mark Twain:

In the quaint town of Haslett, Michigan, there lived a sprightly young lad named Lane Stoliker, whose mischief was only matched by his charm. With hair as golden as the midsummer cornfields and a grin that could outshine the Fourth of July fireworks, Lane was the embodiment of youthful exuberance. He had a knack for turning the mundane into the marvelous, finding adventure in every nook and cranny of his small town. The local folk often remarked that Lane had a certain twinkle in his eye, a spark that foretold tales of mischief and merriment.

One fine morning, Lane found himself on the banks of Lake Lansing, his pockets bulging with treasures of all sorts – smooth pebbles, colorful marbles, and the occasional lucky penny. As he skimmed stones across the glassy surface, he concocted grand plans of exploration and escapade. It wasn't long before a band of eager comrades gathered around him, drawn by the allure of adventure that seemed to dance around him like fireflies at dusk. With Lane at the helm, they set forth on a day filled with the sort of adventures that would make even Tom Sawyer tip his hat in respect. They were not merely children playing by the lake; they were valiant explorers, noble pirates, and intrepid treasure hunters, masters of their small but boundless world.

That’s pretty darn impressive to me! Give it a shot! If you do any of your own, please share them with me in the comments or in a reply to this email because I would love to read them.

So how does Chat GPT do that? Here is how Chat GPT explains how it works simply.

“Imagine if you had a super smart robot friend that has read almost every book, article, and website out there. When you ask it to write a story, like about Lane Stoliker, it remembers how famous authors like Mark Twain wrote their stories. It doesn't copy them, but it's like the robot has learned a recipe for making a "Mark Twain-style" cake. So, it mixes together words and ideas in a new way, but using that special recipe, to create a story that sounds a lot like something Mark Twain might have written. It's kind of like having a really, really big blender for words and ideas, and this robot knows just the right way to mix them!”

Pretty cool, huh?

So how do I make a Virtual Travis Stoliker? I have to write a lot of content and share a lot of my thoughts in my own words. I need to cover various topics and issues that Lane might have questions about in the future. Then Lane will be able to take that information and put it into an Artificial Intelligence system like Chat GPT to train a new model that mimics my thoughts and views on issues. Then Lane will be able to ask it questions and talk to me as if I’m still around.

That’s about as close to immortality as I can think of.

Will it be perfect? Of course not. Will it make mistakes and have limitations? Absolutely.

But I think it’s worth trying.

Most of my thoughts I will share publicly here on this newsletter. But some I will record privately with videos and audio recordings. I will answer questions of various topics in order to give the AI system enough data to be trained on to be as accurate of a representation of my beliefs as possible. Here are some of the questions that I am answering.

* How did you handle the first time that you had your heart broken?

* What is your fondest childhood memory?

* What role does spirituality play in your life?

* How did you select your romantic partner?

* What was it like to fall in love for the first time?

* What is something you are most embarrassed about?

* What was your proudest moment?

* What are your thoughts on money?

* Is there evil in the world?

* Who was the best person that you ever knew?

* How do you cope with grief?

If I take enough time to answer these questions thoughtfully and honestly, I think that Lane will be able to have a pretty decent understanding of who his father was, what I believed, my flaws, and I hope - a few of my successes. I also hope that Lane can use it as a friend to talk to and get advice from, of course, only if he chooses to.

Let me be clear, as I have said many times before, my goal is to live as long as possible and die quickly. I don’t want to go anywhere. But it’s always good to have a backup plan in case things don’t work out the way I had envisioned. It’s exactly why we have an estate plan and trust.

Wouldn’t you love to be able to talk to a friend or family member that has passed? I know that I sure would love to talk to my Grandpa Mike Brady right now. His fantastic stories always helped me through challenging times.

What do you think? Is this crazy? A good idea? Would you want to do something like this? If you could talk to someone from the past, who would it be? I want to hear from you. Reply to this email, comment below, fill out the poll, or call me anytime.

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Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

The product makes several claims on their website:

“Ladies, enjoy a cup of this tea every day and the synergy of the plants help to restore and keep balance in your cycle. Regular health and hormone upkeep can help prevent issues in the future, can help to ease symptoms of PMS and any pain associated with your period. When you experience symptoms related to your cycle is not the time to fix the issues, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure! Enjoy this blend daily to support your hormones all cycle long.” (link)

The website does have a pretty large disclaimer on the page. Which on one hand, is reassuring that they are being transparent and honest about the limitations of the data supporting the claims. But on the other hand, doesn’t demonstrate a high level of confidence that the claims are supported by research. Here is the disclaimer:

“Disclaimer: These products have not been evaluated by the FDA. The information we provide is intended for educational purposes only and is not meant to represent or replace the advice of a medical professional or to diagnose, treat or cure any disease. It is the responsibility of the customer to test products for allergies before use of products. The ingredients are listed on each product and we do our best to eliminate cross contamination between products. Some people will have allergies to certain plants or botanicals so please test before use to ensure you do not have an allergy. Stop using immediately if an allergic reaction, redness or irritation occurs. We are not responsible for the misuse or reactions to our products. Usage is always at the buyer’s own risk. Please reach out to a professional for any possible contraindications and/or interactions with medications and be sure to inform your doctor about all herbal remedies or supplements you are taking.”

Let’s take a look at each of the claims independently and evaluate the research. The claims are pretty impressive:

* Helps to restore and maintain balance in the menstrual cycle.

* Supports regular health and hormone upkeep to prevent future issues.

* Aids in easing symptoms of PMS. Provides relief from any pain associated with menstruation.

* Continuous hormonal support throughout the menstrual cycle.

Let’s look at each claim independently.

* Helps to restore and maintain balance in the menstrual cycle:

* Marjoram tea showed beneficial effects on the hormonal profile of women with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) by improving insulin sensitivity and reducing levels of adrenal androgens (Haj-Husein, Tukan, & Alkazaleh, 2016).

* However, this study was very small (25 individuals), it was only looking at patients with PCOS, and it was only a Pilot Study which requires further research.

* Chinese herbal medicine was found to improve menstrual rates in women with PCOS, suggesting potential benefits in menstrual cycle regulation (Lai et al., 2017).

* However, this is a small study (40) and once again it was only looking at patients with an existing medical condition. This was also a pilot study which requires further research.

* Supports regular health and hormone upkeep to prevent future issues.:

* This claim is too vague to be evaluated accurately with randomized controlled trials.

* Aids in easing symptoms of PMS. Provides relief from any pain associated with menstruation:

* Chamomile tea was effective in relieving pain related to primary dysmenorrhea (cramps or painful period) and its consequent psycho-social problems (Jenabi & Ebrahimzadeh, 2010).

* However, this was a very small (80) experimental study, that only asked participants to drink 2 cups of chamomile tea and report their PMS symptoms after 1 month.

* Ginger tea significantly reduced heavy menstrual bleeding among high school girls, providing relief from dysmenorrhea (Kashefi et al., 2015).

* This was probably the strongest of the studies that I found. It was well designed and it seemed to show a reduction in the menstrual bleeding of high school students. The participants were instructed to take 3 - 250mg tablets of ginger compared to the control group that was given a lactose pill. It did provide an improvement.

* Concerns: The participants were not exactly given a “hormonal tea” they were given a high dose pill amounting to about 750mg of ginger each day. Would you be able to ingest 750 mg of ginger to match this amount by drinking this hormonal tea? I’m not really sure but I’m a bit skeptical on that.

* Continuous hormonal support throughout the menstrual cycle:

* I wasn’t able to find any RCT' studies that examined this claim specifically.

Conclusion & Results

Do “Hormonal Teas” work? Maybe. There is some evidence that the individual ingredients contained in some hormonal teas could alleviate some of the pains, cramping, and heavy bleeding associated with PMS. However, the studies are small, many are pilot studies, and none of the studies evaluate the effectiveness of Hormonal Teas specifically. In most cases, they just look at the individual ingredients and they are often tested on individuals that already have a medical condition.

In my layman’s view, the jury is still out. If I was advising my wife or loved one on Hormonal Teas', I’d probably say:

“There is some evidence that the individual ingredients contained in some “Hormonal Teas'“ may help alleviate some of the symptoms of PMS, however there aren’t any studies that I could find that evaluate the claims of Hormonal Tea blends specifically. Since the products seem to be safe, if you enjoy drinking them, there doesn’t appear to be any harm in consuming them. However, I would stay away from any high priced premium products that make grandiose medical claims and I would try to buy the highest quality ingredients directly like ginger and chamomile. These ingredients were the ones specifically tested and they are fairly generic, fairly cheap, and did show some effectiveness in these limited studies. In summary, I would only drink these if you find some personal enjoyment and benefit from them. Not solely as a medical product.”

I was so incredibly honored that one of my readers trusted my research enough to ask me to evaluate these claims. Of course, as I always say, I’m not a doctor so don’t trust anything I say. Always check with your own research and your medical professionals.

If you have anything that you’d like me to research. Please reply to this email, comment below, text me, shoot me a phone call, or message me on Twitter.

Over the past year I have been increasing my tolerance up to a current maximum of 14 minutes in 40-42 degree water. But my regular routine is 5-7 minutes at the Michigan Athletic Club. I love it!

Here are some of the tips that I learned along the way that helped me get to 14 minutes.

Tips for lasting longer in the cold plunge:

* It’s a battle with your mind. Think of it as meditation.

Your mind will be telling you to get out. That’s natural. You need to remind yourself that you are capable of staying in a lot longer than you think. Your body will try to trick you into thinking that you are in physical danger. You’re not. You need to control your mind, not the other way around. So how do we do that?

* Slow down your breathing to decrease your heart rate.

Slowing down your breathing is a good way to calm your mind which in turn slows down your heart rate. If you focus on taking long and very deep breaths, you will slow your heart rate. Think of this as your meditation. Try to clear your mind and exclusively focus on your breathing. To do this, I would count my breaths. When I was able to slow my breaths to about 10 breaths per minute, my performance got better.

* Embrace the Roger Bannister Effect: Be confident & know you can achieve it.

Running a mile in under 4 minutes was thought to be impossible for humans until Roger Bannister did it in 1954. After Bannister accomplished this previously unthinkable task, a bunch of runners were able to do it almost immediately.

This is now called the Roger Bannister Effect. We humans put psychological barriers in our way. If our mind convinces us that something is impossible, our body won’t allow us to do it. But once we know it’s possible, we can do it and others can too.

To last longer in the cold plunge, you need to be convinced that you can do it, because you can! If your brain is sabotaging you by telling you “I can’t do this” “I’ll be lucky if I last 10 seconds!” - You’ll be right! But, if your brain is telling you, “Travis did this for 14 minutes so I’m sure I can do it for 15!” - You will surprise yourself! And since you’re doing this safely with a spotter, why not try to see just how long you can go?

* Go a Little Deeper

When you’re feeling like you want to get out or can’t take it any longer, go under the water another inch or two. This will expose new skin to the cold and it will immediately focus your mind on that new area. It will momentarily make you forget about the other areas of your body. This trick is very powerful for me. It works like magic.

* Protect Your Sensitive Bits

One or two areas on your body might be overly sensitive. For some people it’s their fingers, others toes, for some it’s their private parts. You’ll figure it out after your first few sessions. For me it’s my toes and privates. To protect my toes I keep my feet close together and curl my toes. I also keep my legs close together to protect my privates. This small act prevents my toes from going numb and allows me to double my total time.

* 1 Minute 30 Seconds Is Magic

I’m not sure why, but the 1 minute and 30 second mark seems to be magic for me. My brain gets clearer, my mood improves, I have no evidence to support this, but I even think my eyesight improves. (I will test this later) For me, if I can stay in for 1:30 seconds, I can usually make it to 5 minutes or more. Hitting the 1:30 mark makes a huge difference for me.

I am confident that by using these tips, you can dramatically increase your time in the cold plunge. I’ve tested these same strategies with over a dozen people and they have all increased their times past the 3 minute mark.

Be careful, start slow, have a spotter - but remember - you are in control, not your mind. What one person can do, another can too. If I can do 14 minutes. I’m certain you can do much more!

I want to hear from you! If you try any of these tips, please let me know. If you have any of your own tips, please share them. You can reply to this email, comment below, message me on Twitter or give me a call. I can’t wait to hear from you.

Disclaimers: I’m not a doctor. Consult your doctor to make sure this is right for you. Don’t push yourself too hard and always be safe. It’s a good idea to have a spotter.

Reminder: As a reminder, my name is Travis Stoliker and I was one of the Co-Owners of Saddleback BBQ & Slice by Saddleback. I just recently exited and handed off the restaurants to their founder, Matt Gillett. I’m now focused on writing this newsletter. Read this Business Insider article to learn more about the Year Of The Opposite.

Who is Travis Stoliker?

I'm Travis Stoliker, my journey started at Holt Public Schools, continued through LCC, and culminated at Northwood University. Today, I call Haslett home, enjoying life on Lake Lansing with my wife, Laken, who works for the Edward Lowe Foundation, and our lively 5-year-old son, Lane.

I believe deeply in the responsibility of community service. Currently, I serve as a trustee on the Haslett Board of Education and on the board of Ele's Place. My past contributions include the East Lansing Zoning Board of Appeals, East Lansing Info (A citizen journalism non-profit), and the board of the only angel investing organization in the area called the Capital Community Angels.

My hobbies include running, pickleball, golf, water skiing, boating, and hockey. My skill in each of these endeavours ranges from decent to downright terrible. Reading and writing are two of my most treasured pastimes.

My true passion, however, lies in the business world.

Where my friends follow sporting teams, I follow business. “Business is my sport” is a phrase I’m guilty of saying far too often.

Business started early for me. When I was about 12 years old, I ran a tiny hockey league and shared a paper route with my best friend, Matt Hill. During Highschool and College I learned a variety of skills by working at D&M Silk Screening, L&L Shoprite, Schneider Sheet Metal, and Big George’s Home Appliance Mart.

I graduated from LCC with an Associates degree in Applied Sciences, Media Technology (Audio & Video Recording). I worked at WILX as a production assistant where I helped broadcast the 5pm, 6pm and 11pm news. I worked in Master Control and ended up being elected as the UAW Union Steward for my department at WILX.

I was told at the time that I was the youngest UAW Union Steward, but I can’t confirm if this is true or not. We actually had to strike and successfully got our pay increased to $6.96 per hour. It was at that time that I knew I had to either move to a big city to make more money in this industry, or try a different trade.

I decided to try a different trade: Sales.

As an aside, I still firmly believe, everyone should have at least one sales job. Sales is a skill that you can use your entire life. I sold refrigerators, dishwashers, and $70,000 42-inch flat screen TV’s (Not kidding!) at Big George’s Home Appliance Mart and then I learned to sell Television Advertisements at Millenium Digital Media. I won’t go into the long details, but I got fired from both positions because one closed and the other got sold. This left me very disillusioned about working for companies.

I ended up securing an amazing job at one of the best employers in town, TechSmith. They taught me about everything from marketing to software development. I went from Salesman to Product Manager in a short while.

TechSmith provided me a lot of great experiences and memories. My first airplane ride was a flight for TechSmith. The first book that I loved reading, The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell, was for Techsmith. The reason I got a bachelor’s degree was because of TechSmith tuition reimbursement.

But the biggest thing that TechSmith taught me was the love for learning and growth. When I left the sales team and joined the Camtasia product team, Camtasia was the lowest sales product at TechSmith. In the short time I worked on it with my mentor Troy Stein, Camtasia became the highest sales product in the company that year. Watching that growth was like a drug for me. I loved it.

I learned at that moment what I was passionate about. I loved helping companies grow.

While at TechSmith, I had an idea for a product called “Project Streamer”. TechSmith didn’t want to develop it, so I reached out to my old friend, Matt Hill, who founded Liquid Web. As I recall, around this time, Liquid Web had about 10 employees and maybe a million in revenue. But I could be a bit off on those numbers because it was a long time ago. Liquid Wed ended up developing Project Streamer and this started the professional relationship between me, Matt Hill, and Chris Strandt.

Around this same time, I got it into my head that I should grow long hair and a long beard. My appearance got pretty out of control. Bill Hamilton, the founder of TechSmith, didn’t like my new look and he asked me to correct my appearance. In an act of youthful arrogance, I refused, and nearly lost my job.

To my good fortune, around this same time - Matt Hill was thinking about growing Liquid Web and starting the first sales and marketing efforts at the company. Because of our successful partnership on Project Streamer, Matt asked me if I would join Liquid Web. Liquid Web was quite a bit smaller than TechSmith at the time, and I was nervous about making the change to a smaller less well established company. After serious debate and negotiating my salary over Jager Bomb shots at Harpers, I accepted the position and was excited about the opportunity to grow Liquid Web with Matt and Chris. And I’m sure glad I did.

The next ~10 years at Liquid Web were incredible. We were growing revenue every year, building more data centers, and hiring new employees at an insanely fast rate. As I recall, but I could be wrong, I think we were an Inc5000 fastest growing company in America for the next 8 years in a row, which I believe is a pretty rare accomplishment.

We grew to 480+ employees, 3 data centers in Lansing, a data center in Amsterdam, one in Arizona, and an office in Ann Arbor. We grew sales to ~$80million in annual recurring revenue and we successfully sold the company to private equity for $224million in 2015. It was an absolutely amazing run and it was incredibly fun.

Matt Hill, as the founder and main equity holder, received the vast majority of the money, as he deserved. And I was fortunate because as a phantom equity holder, I received a significant amount of money from the sale. I consider myself very fortunate. In a future post, I will detail how phantom equity works and the advantages/disadvantages.

Also in 2015, I was fortunate enough that Matt Gillett asked me to invest capital to help start Saddleback. Many of you already know that story but some of the things I’m most proud of are that we expanded to four profitable locations with presences in Spartan Stadium and the Breslin Center. We launched a line of BBQ Sauces & Rubs that grace the shelves of major retailers. Food Network named Our Rib Sandwich one of the Best Sandwiches in America. Mental Floss Magazine honored us as the Best BBQ in Michigan. We were recognized with awards like the Michigan 50 Companies to Watch, SBDC Small Business of the Year, and the Greater Lansing Business of the Year.

But what I’m most proud of is that Saddleback remained profitable for all 8.5 years and our community engagement was a cornerstone of our success. We donated thousands of meals to those in need, cleared student lunch debt at local school districts, assisted during natural disasters, offer a 401k to our employees, and we were among the first companies to try pay transparency.

I feel incredibly fortunate to have been a part of some of my favorite organizations in the Lansing area. From School Board, to Ele’s Place, from WILX to TechSmith, from to Liquid Web to Saddleback - I feel incredibly blessed to have made small contributions in a diverse set of industries.

Life has its interesting moments too.

This year to my surprise the local Kiwanis club awarded me their Citizen Of The Year Award. And in 2016, I was humorously named the 2nd best Uber driver in Lansing after completing just one ride. And in 1997, I survived a scary incident when an ice skate cut my throat during a hockey game. (Video Below)

This is the bullet point version of who I am focusing mostly on my professional experience. It feels a bit boastful talking about all this and I’m certain that I got some of the dates and details wrong but I made my best effort to be as accurate as possible. I provide this background because I think it’s important that you have a greater context about the perspective with which I view the world. Rest assured, this is not the traditional format for these posts.

So that leads to the big question:

What is The Year Of The Opposite?

The Year Of The Opposite was a personal challenge that I set for myself in 2022 to change my life by doing the opposite of what I had done before. In February of 2022, one of my best friends died and two more would die over the next 5 months. It plunged me into a depression that I had never experienced before and one that couldn’t seem to escape.

So in the spirit of the old quote “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results”. I wanted to try to shake things up, I embarked on a journey of doing the opposite of what I had always done. It was inspired by the Seinfeld episode, The Opposite. If what I was doing wasn’t working, doing the opposite should fix it.

For example: instead of sleeping in, I’d wake up early and make the bed. I’d start working out, I gave up drinking alcohol, I started playing sports, I grew a mustache - Essentially, I would do the opposite of what I had done before and my hope was that it would reverse my depression. And thankfully, it worked! But it did much more than just cure my depression.

The Year Of The Opposite led me to lose 62 pounds, run barefoot for 7 miles, undertake a 14-minute cold plunge in 42-degree water, swim about a mile across a lake, complete a half and full marathon, run 1,000 miles in a year, learn to hold my breath for 2 minutes and 43 seconds, and conquer spicy foods by completing the blazing wings and Hot Ones Challenges.

But most importantly, I cured my depression and I reversed several of my health conditions. After about 6 months of doing the opposite, my doctors cleared me to stop taking medications for high blood pressure, cholesterol, and triglycerides. This was a goal that I never thought would be possible.

My personal Year Of The Opposite radically and profoundly changed my life in a positive direction. At the conclusion of the first year in March of 2023, I had a decision to make. Should I keep doing the Year Of The Opposite, or should I go back to my old ways?

The answer was obvious: On every metric, my life was far better during the Year of The Opposite. I decided that I would keep the opposite going and I needed a new challenge. I decided to launch the Year Of The Opposite Newsletter and Podcast that you are now reading/listening to in hopes that sharing my story might inspire others.

I deeply thank you for following, subscribing, listening or reading. It means the world to me.

What Should You Expect to Receive in this Newsletter?

My writing tends to focus on Technology, Business, Marketing, and interviews with people that I find fascinating. But the biggest thing that I try to focus on is positivity. I try to find good news and positive stories from around the world to share. My goal is to be a living example that it is possible to change your life if you wish to. If you have any suggestions for topics that I should cover, please just comment below or reply back to this email.

Here are some of the most popular posts on the Year Of The Opposite so far this year:

* Introduction to The Year Of The Opposite - What is The Year Of The Opposite? What have I achieved in my Year Of The Opposite? (Sep 12, 2023)

* Podcast Interview with Michelle Rogers - Surviving the Unthinkable: Michelle Rogers on Matthew Terry's Brutality and the Deadly Consequences of His Early Release from prison. My former co-worker, Matthew Terry, stabbed her 7 times yet somehow Michigan let him out of prison after only 3 years. Tragically, within 5 months of his release, he killed his new girlfriend.

* The Claude McCollum Wrongful Conviction with Judge Hugh Clarke Jr.

The murder of an LCC professor in 2005 sends the wrong man to jail. The uncaught murderer goes on to kill 5 more while the wrong man is in prison. My interview with Judge Hugh Clarke Jr.

* Clearing Up The Rumors: The Real Story of How Matthew Hill from Liquid Web Died (Jul 13, 2023)

* Using Artificial Intelligence to Generate Your New Year's Resolutions, Complete a 360 Review, & Change Your Life - A Step By Step Guide (Dec 18, 2023)

* Ozempic & Wegovy Side Effects. Miracle Weight Loss Drugs, but be Very Careful (Dec 13, 2023)

* I'm Increasing My Offer - You'll be happier in 7 days or I'll pay you $500 (Dec 9, 2023)

* How I Lost 62 lbs & built a habit of working out everyday. (April 14, 2023)

How to Follow ‘Year Of The Opposite’ on Social Media.

* Year Of The Opposite & Travis Stoliker @Tstoliker on Twitter: https://twitter.com/tstoliker

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* Substack Email: yearoftheopposite@substack.com

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Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

It’s been a long process and I have a lot of mixed feelings about the sale that I’m still trying to process. On one hand, I’m super proud of what we have achieved and that the businesses are in a place where they can be fully handed off to Matt. On the other hand, I will miss regularly interacting with all of our customers and colleagues.

Even though this process has been a long time in the making and it’s a very amicable separation, I still feel a bit of stress and anxiety about the transition. A lot of my identity was wrapped up in being the owner of a local small business that people cared about.

I feel a bit like I did after the sale of Liquid Web. The business just keeps moving forward without me. Never missing a beat. I suppose that makes me feel a bit of joy and a bit of sadness. But the only thing constant in life is change and change is what stimulates growth. Change is a necessary part of improving and getting better.

In the next few weeks, I’ll have a lot more to share about my experience owning profitable restaurants for 8+ years. But for now, here is my full letter announcing the sale to customers.

Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

My Letter: Matt Gillett is now the sole owner of Saddleback & Slice!

Hi from Travis, The only thing crazier than starting a restaurant may be investing in one. And my investment in Saddleback only happened because of incredible timing.

Saddleback was my first investment after selling LiquidWeb. Because of that sale, I had a non-compete that somewhat limited my ability to work for a year. So with that time, I wanted to see if I could provide a little help to the local economy by investing in small businesses that traditionally had trouble getting financed.

At this time I was also engaged to be married and my fiance Laken suggested that we hire our long time friend, Matt Gillett’s, new catering company for our wedding. It made perfect sense.

As a part of that discussion with Matt, he mentioned that his dream was bigger than the catering company and that he wished to open a restaurant. Since I was looking for investments, the timing was incredible… But I told him a few things:

* This is a bad idea. Restaurants are too hard and don’t make money.

* I know nothing about food or restaurants and I never want to be in the food business.

* I have 3 rules of investing: No restaurants, no bars, & nothing you don’t understand.

So of course, we decided to break all the rules and make the investment.

I explained my rationale for breaking all my investment rules to Matt. We are making this investment in YOU. We want to give you a little push of support to help you chase your dream. I made it clear: we have no interest in owning a restaurant longterm. Success for the Stoliker family was defined as: Matt Gillett being a successful entrepreneur with a growing and thriving business that provides for his family, provides for the growth of his employees, and positively serves the community.

Matt Gillett has achieved all of those goals beyond my wildest dreams and that is why it is time for Matt to fully take the reins.

Saddleback’s success wasn’t due to luck, or hope, or even my investment and help. No, Matt Gillett made his own luck. He willed the success to happen. Simply put, he worked harder than anyone.

I got to see Matt work 12 hour days 14 days in a row. I saw him cover an overnight smoker shift when employees called in sick after he had already worked a 12 hour shift! I saw him drive across town in the middle of the night to bail employees out of jail. Seen him leave his own family on holidays to personally make and deliver holiday meals for other families in the community. I saw him film a promo video for Saddleback from the hospital just a moment after his 3rd child was born!

I’m not saying all of this to “glamorize hustle culture” or imply that other people don’t also make sacrifices. I’m saying it because it’s true and I witnessed it first hand. Matt lived by the motto: This will not fail. I won’t let it.

Matt and I are still close friends and the business brought us closer. We have been through incredibly difficult lows together, both personally and professionally, and we have been through the highest of highs. It’s been an incredible journey together.

Highlights for me include: Being profitable every year in existence in a notoriously unprofitable industry. Winning Best BBQ in Michigan, Small Business of the Year, & Michigan 50 Companies to watch. But Saddleback became more than just a restaurant. We were able to use it as a platform to help other local small businesses, serve people in need, educate the community, demonstrate alternative transparent pay systems, be an example for how restaurants can provide employee retirement programs, and an occasional funny post. Those were some of my personal favorites!

For the past year or more, Matt and I have built an exceptional management team and they have already taken over all of my (Travis) responsibilities. For 6 months or more, the team has done my (Travis) job better than I could have done it myself. They are the best of the best and I thank them. Our customers & employees will remain in good hands.

I want to make it clear: while I will no longer be an owner of Saddleback & Slice, my commitment to Matt Gillett, our team, and their success remains steadfast. I'm stepping back not to distance myself, but to see these ventures thrive further. This is a planned evolution. I'm always here for Matt and our team, ready to assist whenever needed.

To all small business owners: my mission is to support entrepreneurs tirelessly. You're not alone; I'm just a call or email away, always ready to lend a hand. I will continue to invest in and help any local small business owners that need help. Please reach out if you need anything.

So what is next for me?

Last year I started a newsletter and podcast called “The Year Of The Opposite” and it’s completely free.

I hope you will subscribe to my newsletter. This week I plan to share some of my favorite stories about the Saddleback journey, business lessons, how to succeed in the restaurant business, and why most restaurants fail. I’ll also be sharing my personal Thank You’s to all of you that helped make Saddleback a success. There were too many to list here.

Please consider subscribing for free to “The Year Of The Opposite Newsletter & Podcast.”

The goal of my newsletter/podcast is to share my personal stories and experiences in hopes that I might make readers a little happier and maybe even a little richer.

I know, lofty goals Mr. Stoliker!

Well, no one ever said that I lacked confidence. ;)

Sincerely,

Travis Stoliker

Former Co-Owner of Saddleback

Owner of “Year Of The Opposite”

— Letter from Matt Gillett —

In July of 2014, I went through the process of founding Saddleback Barbecue. Early spring of 2015, I brought on Travis Stoliker as my business partner and we opened one the best restaurants in the Lansing Area, Saddleback Barbecue. I am mixed with emotion to bring the news that as of 12/27/2023, I will be Sole owner of Saddleback Barbecue and Slice by Saddleback.

Travis has taught me so much and supported me through this journey and for that I can never thank him enough. Together we have started four restaurants, two concession stands at the Breslin Center and Spartan Stadium, have a successful retail product line, and one of the best catering companies in the area. Our web presence is unmatched and because of it we have grown to be a household brand in the Lansing Area. Both of which I would credit Travis. Words such as, systems, processes, scale and communication are constantly brought up at Saddleback. Travis is the one who really showed the importance of those in a small business.

As we move forward Saddleback will continue to focus on being a leader in the industry. Our Mission is to strive for culinary excellence by embracing hard work, teamwork and a relentless commitment to improve. We want to push the boundaries of food and service where others won't. I am very excited for this next step and can't wait to show everyone what is to come.

I want to thank Travis for all of his time, dedication and hard work that he has shown Saddleback. I don't think there is a piece of the company that he has not impacted positively in some way.

From all present and past Saddleback personnel, Thank You Travis! Saddleback wouldn't be what it is today without you.

~Matt Gillett

This is a free step by step guide on how to complete a 360 degree review of your strengths and weaknesses and use the power of artificial intelligence to synthesize the data to produce an actionable list of 10 New Year’s resolutions.

These resolutions are then turned into 5 simple tasks/habits to improve your life.

When implemented, these simple daily habits will dramatically improve your life, happiness, and success. These habits compound on each other and within a few months you will see a dramatic improvement on every measurement that you set out to improve. I guarantee it.

Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Here are the steps that I take and the templates that you can use to improve your life.

* Identify the 10-50 people in your life that you trust to give you feedback about your performance over the past year. These can be friends, family, co-workers, investors, partners - anyone that you have a relationship with that can help you improve. Make sure to include a few people that may be critical of you.

* Call, email, or send a text message to each of them asking if they would be willing to participate in an anonymous 360 review of your performance by completing a short 8 question form. Only select people that take it seriously and are willing to help. Some people will think it’s silly. That’s okay, ignore them.

* Note: Some people may not want to do an online form, that’s fine, ask them the questions over the phone or in person and document their responses in the spreadsheet yourself.

* Access this spreadsheet and “Make a copy” by going to “File” > “Make a Copy”.

* To access the form, just go to: Tools > Manage Form > Edit Form.

* Next, send each of the people that agreed to review you a copy of the form that you just created. (Steps below)

* Follow these 4 steps to copy a link to the form and send it:

* The simple questions on the form are:

* What is your relationship to me? 

* In your opinion, have I improved in 2023 from 2022? How so?*

* What am I doing well?*

* What could I be doing better?*

* What do you need from me?

* What should I stop doing?

* What should I start doing or do more of?

* Any other feedback you have for me?

* Tip: Don’t look at the responses as they come in. Wait until everyone has responded. This keeps it more anonymous.

* Follow up with everyone 2 days later: Ask them if they have completed the form? Remind them how important it is to you and that you appreciate their help.

* Optional: follow up again in a couple days. (People forget!)

First, Why Are We Doing This? What is the Goal? What is NOT the goal?

The goal of this process is to find areas where we can improve ourselves so that we can be happier, healthier, more productive, have better relationships with our friends, and build better relationships with our family.

I’m going to tell you right now, you’re going to hear a LOT of great things about yourself and that feels amazing. But this is NOT the goal and we must make sure to not get high on our own supply.

Remember, these are mostly our friends and family that are giving us feedback. They will be biased towards saying nice and positive things about us - sometimes - even when they don’t believe them.

You must constantly guard against inflating your ego and self importance. Move past the praise and look for the areas that you can improve.

And if you selected the right people for this, you’re also going to hear some really critical and negative things about your behavior. This is the goal.

But when you read the criticism, the goal is not to shatter your self esteem, get you down in the dumps, or make you think you’re worthless. Far from it!

The simple fact that you are doing this process means that you are in the top 1% of people that are self aware and looking to improve themselves. Do NOT focus on the negative for too long.

Don’t build an enemies list of people that are disloyal to you because of what you read here. Remember, you ASKED for this feedback. You need to use it as fuel to improve, not as a lead anchor around your neck, or worse, lead bullets in your weapon to attack your new enemies. That is NOT the goal of this process.

I’ll share some strategies for how to use the criticism as rocket fuel below.

Time to Review Your Feedback

You can access the feedback in a few ways. If you go back to the form you can see “Summary” and “Individual” feedback. Or you can click “Link to Sheets” if you would like to view it as a spreadsheet.

Steps you can take the read this feedback successfully without becoming defensive:

* Don’t try to guess who gave you the feedback. It doesn’t matter.

* Don’t dwell on on any individual responses. Read the feedback and moveon to the next one. Especially high praise and brutal criticism.

* Instead, look for patterns in the feedback. If something comes up multiple times, give it more weight than things that are only mentioned once. Repeated feedback might be telling you something.

* Remember, you’re never as good as people say you are, and you’re never as bad as your critics say you are. Be leary of high praise and of brutal criticism.

* The biggest thing to look for are criticisms that hit you like a harpoon to the chest. When someone says something critical about you that deeply resonates with what you are feeling about yourself - that is the feedback to focus on. This feedback is aligning with what you know personally and is being validated by multiple outside sources. This is the area where I think you will get the most benefit from focusing on improvement.

Using Artificial Intelligence to Summarize The Feedback

*Security note, you will be uploading information into ChatGPT. This could make people uncomfortable. It doesn’t concern me but if you do have concerns, don’t do it.

Now that you have read all of the feedback individually, it’s time to use Artificial Intelligence to summarize it and give you the highlights.

* In the form, click the button “View in Sheets”

* Each column will represent everyone’s answers to each of the questions.

* Go to Chat GPT https://chat.openai.com/

* IMPORTANT NOTE: Make sure to do ALL of this within one chat window in Chat GPT. Don’t create new chat windows.

* Paste this prompt into Chat GPT:

* I am completing a 360 review of myself and my performance. I have asked friends, family, co-workers and business partners to answer multiple questions about me. Chat GPT, I would like you to work as a counselor to fairly and dispassionately review all of the individual feedback and synthesis it into a 2 to 3 paragraph summary about each of the questions that I asked. I would also like you to retain all of this information so that I can ask you questions about it. After this chat, I will be copy and pasting the data from the spreadsheet one question at a time. The first cell will be the question that I asked, then the following cells will be the individual responses from each of the people that I asked to fill out the form. Please confirm that you understand and then let me know that you are ready for me to copy and paste the information into the next chat dialog box.

* From the Google Sheet that contains all the answers to the questions, copy and paste the question and all of the answers to the questions directly into Chat GPT and submit them. Remember to grab ALL the feedback to that question. Not just one at a time. B1:B25 for instance.

* Read the result in Chat GPT.

* Authors note: Wasn’t the response insanely accurate???? It blew me away at how well Chat GPT was able to summarize me based off the aggregate information from my friends and family.

* Review the information from Chat GPT. Then copy and paste that information into a new cell at the bottom of your spreadsheet. This will give you a summary of each question and response within the Google Sheet.

* Next, Write this prompt to Chat GPT to get ready for the answers to the next question:

* Thank you. That was perfect. Are you ready to do the the exact same thing for the next question? I will past it after you confirm you are ready.

* Paste in the next question and all the responses.

* Read the summary, then copy and paste it into the end of your spreadsheet.

* Repeat this same process for all of the remaining questions.

Now let’s get a summary of how you are doing

Use this prompt in Chat GPT within the same conversation window that contains all this information:

* Chat GPT prompt:

* Ignore all of the summaries that you have made. Only look at the information that I have copied and pasted directly from my 360 review. Look at all of them and synthesis all of the information and create a 6 paragraph summary and analysis of how I am doing and where I can improve. When possible, use direct quotes from some of the feedback that I was given. When possible, use real examples from the information I was given. Focus on the things that were mentioned multiple times as recurring themes.

* This will generate a very helpful short summary of all the information in narrative form. You may want to save this somewhere.

Using Chat GPT and AI to Generate Your 10 New Year’s Resolutions

Using all the information that Chat GPT now has, use this prompt to generate your 10 New Year’s Resolutions:

* Chat GPT Prompt:

* Based off of all of the information contained within this entire chat, I wish to generate a bulleted list of 10 New Year’s resolutions. Also include a short paragraph about each that emphasizes why this is important using specific examples from above, direct quotes when possible, and explain how these resolutions will improve my life. Make sure to use ALL of the information from all of the chats above and all of the feedback that was provided.

* Save these New Year’s resolutions for yourself.

* Time for self reflection based on this data:

* Which resolutions do you agree with?

* Which resolutions do you disagree with?

* Do you wish to change or modify any of the resolutions or add any new ones?

* You can change and modify the New Year’s Resolutions. Simply reply to Chat GPT with the new information and you can edit and modify them to create the final version that you prefer.

Turning your 10 New Year’s Resolutions Into Actionable Habits

New Year’s resolutions and Goals are kinda BS in my mind. They are too lofty and it’s too hard to see the results every single day. What is much better is generating daily/weekly/monthly habits. As they say: “Show Me Your Habits and I'll Show You Your Future.”

So now that we have the lofty “New Year’s Resolutions list” - Let’s generate the daily habits that can get you there. Here is how we use Chat GPT to do that.

* Prompt for Chat GPT:

* Based off of this new year’s resolution list, I would like you to generate daily/weekly habits that I can develop that will align with my goals. I want your help in changing my daily practices so that they align with my long term goals. Please examine my new year’s resolutions, and all the feedback from all of the chats above and create 5 habits that I should start immediately that will help me to achieve my lifelong goals.

REMEMBER!

You do NOT need to accept or agree with all the feedback that is given to you. It is important that you process and filter the feedback based upon your own goals and values. Not all feedback is created equally. Don’t live your life based off of someone else’s ideas of what you should be doing. This is to be used as a tool to recognize blind spots and opportunities for you to expand your thinking. You must always process this information through your own filter.

That’s it! Here is what you have accomplished with this process:

* You have solicited feedback from your loved ones which shows them you care about their feedback and value them.

* You have gained important insights about what you did well and what you can improve on.

* You have thought hard and deeply about what you want to accomplish over the next year.

* You have turned your new year’s resolutions into actionable habit’s that you can implement tomorrow and that can change and improve your life overtime.

If you enjoyed this process or got any value out of it, I would greatly appreciate if you would let me know by replying to this email, sharing it with a friend, or posting it to social media. It would mean a lot to me.

Thank you and here is to a great new year!

With Love from Travis Stoliker.

Thank you for reading Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack. This post is public so feel free to share it.

* Alarming data is coming in: Some patients on Wegovy & Ozempic are seeing 50% to 60% of their weight loss come from lean tissue. (muscle). Patients may be getting lighter on the scale but increasing their body fat percentage. This is concerning. (One study here)

* As a comparison, when losing weight naturally, it is typical that about 25% of your weight loss will come from lean tissue and muscle mass.

* But, there is a SOLUTION! To combat this, patients taking these drugs need to strength train and eat a high protein diet. This will help retain and build lean tissues, muscle mass, connective tissue, & retain bone density.

* Wegovy & Ozempic are miracle drugs for fast weight loss. Some patients are losing up to 60lbs in 6 months. But there are real risks to be aware of.

* If you take these drugs and don’t change your diet & lifestyle, you will be forced to keep injecting & paying for them forever.

* If you ever stop them in the future without lifestyle changes, you’ll gain all the weight back & possibly a lot more. I explain why below.

* It is worth noting: The drugmaker behind Ozempic & Wegovy disclosed paying health care providers in the US over $25,000,000 over the past decade to promote these drugs. It paid $1,400,000 to one doctor alone*.

* Disclosure: I am an investor in the maker of these drugs, Novo Nordisk. I’m very excited by the results of these drugs but I’m growing increasingly concerned about what I’m observing in my friends that are using them and the mounting evidence about their side effects.

Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Full Article: I’m Concerned about Wegovy & Ozempic. Here is How Patients Can Protect Themselves

Ozempic is everywhere. Not since Viagra & Botox has a drug become so popular so quickly. You’ve probably heard of a friend taking it, seen a commercial, or heard of a celebrity talking about “Ozempic Face”. ("Ozempic face" refers to a condition where facial skin may sag and appear aged following the use of these drugs. This effect is likely attributed to the loss of lean tissue, a topic we will explore in detail.)

The technical name for these drugs are “GLP-1 receptor agonists” and they go by the names like Semaglutide, Wegovy, Ozempic, and a few others.

It’s understandable why they have grown so quickly. They work incredibly well, and globally approximately 1-3 billion people are overweight or obese (depending upon which statistic you trust). This is a tragedy and it leads to many long term negative health consequences.

What troubles me most about that statistic is that obesity rates in children have skyrocketed. Approximately 300-600 million kids are overweight or obese (depending upon which statistic you trust). This is quite concerning.

Safety of these drugs becomes even more important due to these two factors.

* The fast and widespread adoption of them and

* the fact that they were recently approved as a treatment for children.

Before we begin, the first two questions that people ask me when we talk about this topic are:

* Did you use these drugs to lose the 62lbs?

* No. I did not use any medications to lose the weight. But I’m not against these drugs. I just personally didn’t want to be on any medications anymore.

* Are you an investor?

* Yes. I invested in Novo Nordisk before the popularity of these drugs exploded. So it’s fair to judge my writing with a skeptical eye.

These drugs have exploded in the past few months. It’s likely that one of your friends or family members are taking them and I hope you will share this article with them without any judgement or condescension.

“Ozempic and Wegovy brought in $4.8 billion of sales during just the third quarter of 2023, and the drugs account for 52% of Novo Nordisk's $23.6 billion of total revenue through the first nine months.”

It’s understandable why these drug are so popular when considering their incredible results. For example, some people that have struggled with weight loss have been able to achieve truly remarkable weight loss. Some have lost 60lbs in 6 months! That is a tremendous amount of weight loss in a short amount of time.

How does Ozempic & Wegovy work?

In plain english, these drugs help you feel fuller, faster, and for a longer amount of time after eating. Therefore you eat less and lose a heck of a lot of weight quickly.

The scientific reason these drugs work: They function as a glucagon-like peptide-1 (GLP-1) receptor agonist. They work by enhancing the body's ability to produce insulin, the hormone that regulates blood sugar, in response to high blood glucose levels. These drugs slow down gastric emptying, which contributes to a decrease in appetite and potential weight loss. This dual action makes it effective in managing Type 2 diabetes and, as a secondary effect, aids in weight management.

While these drugs are a miracle for diabetes and weight management, as with all things, they are not without their risks.

But on the positive side, there are simple steps that you can take to mitigate and potentially avoid some of the negative pitfalls.

An immediate potential side effects is nausea and vomiting. This is pretty commonly reported and disclosed to potential patients by healthcare providers very well. So we don’t need to cover it here.

There is another less common concern. Some recent studies suggest a connection between these drugs and an increase in diabetic retinopathy (DR), a severe eye problem that can lead to blindness in diabetics. It's a bit unexpected, but there's a known issue where treatments that quickly lower blood sugar can actually make DR worse. This isn’t extremely common but is still something to be aware of.

The Bigger Concern for me is Lean Tissue Loss or Losing Muscle Mass

Patients need to be aware of the amount of muscle mass that you may lose by taking these drugs if you don’t take preventative steps proactively.

When losing weight without the assistance of medication, it is expected that about 25% of the weight loss will come from your lean tissue like muscle mass. This would be typical especially when losing weight quickly.

In general, with weight loss, as the old adage goes: “Abs are made in the kitchen”. It’s not so much your work-out routine that will help you lose weight. The biggest impact, in most cases, is reducing the calories that you eat.

If you eat less, you’re going to lose fat, but sadly, you’re also going to lose some muscle and lean tissue. This is expected.

When weight loss occurs naturally, it primarily involves the reduction in the size of the fat cells.

What is concerning is that some patients on Wegovy & Ozempic are seeing that 30% to 60% of their weight loss is coming from their lean tissue like muscle. Patients are getting lighter on the scale but their body composition is actually become fatter sadly. (Studies here, here, & here.)

This is very concerning and requires further investigation.

It’s not perfectly clear why this lean tissue loss is happening but some doctors suspect that it is probably due to an unhealthy diet that doesn’t include enough protein and lack of physical exercise and strength training.

I think it is especially important to highlight these concerns now in light of the fact that it is advertised everywhere, that medical professionals have been paid millions of dollars to promote them*, because they are now approved for use in children, and that these drugs are the fastest growing drugs since Viagra and Botox.

I’m also concerned about this personally because several of my friends are taking these drugs with remarkable success but they are completely unaware of the risks to their lean muscle tissue. My hope is that this article may help them in some small way.

To be clear: *I mention the payment to doctors simply as a data point. It is not to imply in anyway that there is a conspiracy or corruption in the system. It just means that there is an incentive and incentives can be powerful in some cases.

But not to fear, there is good news! If you take the following steps, you can significantly mitigate these issues.

Patients using these drugs should make sure to pair them with a high-protein diet and strength training to maintain their muscle mass, retain connective tissue, and retain bone density.

A good rule is to eat about your original body weight in grams of protein per day. So if you started at 200lbs, eat about 200 grams of protein per day even as you lose the weight. This is very general but I like to keep the math super simple.

When it comes to weight training, you just need to make sure you’re pushing your muscles to their limit. Walking won’t cut it here. But you don’t need a gym membership either. You can do body weight exercises that will help like wall sits, push ups, crunches, lunges, jumping jacks, and plank as some examples. Of course, weights would be better. But we don’t strive for perfection here. We strive for the simple things that give most of the results.

Why is this so important? Because for one, we don’t just want to weigh less on the scale and still have the same amount of fat in the body. We want to have less total fat within our body. It’s the fat in the body that can cause our health problems, not just the weight on the scale. The goal should be to “increase the body’s overall proportion of lean mass – in other words, to improve body composition.”

The other issue is that if you lose your lean tissue like muscle, connective tissue, and bone density - you will be more fragile. This will make you more at risk for getting hurt, less likely to live a long time, and there is another big concern that could show up in the future if you were to ever stop taking these medications.

Your lean muscle tissue consumes a lot of your calories. In general, the same person with a lot of muscle mass will be able to consume and process more calories than someone with less muscle mass and lean tissue.

So, if you're losing significant lean muscle tissue, your body typically burns fewer calories. And as we all know, excess calories that the body can't utilize are generally converted into fat.

To say this again, essentially, if your lean tissue like muscle goes away and you keep eating the same number of calories, your body won’t consume as many calories, so the extra calories will end up getting turned into fat.

This is especially concerning if you stop taking these medications in the future. Your appetite will come back immediately, you will start eating more, and since you have less lean tissue & muscle mass - you will put on a lot more weight than you had before you started these drugs.

This gives patients using these drugs two options in my view.

* Either you will need to continue taking these medications forever.

* Or, you will need to adjust your lifestyle, eating, and physical activity so that you can retain the amazing weight loss that these drugs helped you to achieve.

In conclusion, GLP1 medications like Ozempic and Wegovy are incredible, but they are not a long-term fix for obesity or poor metabolic health for most people. Real, lasting health improvements come from changing behaviors and lifestyles. This means eating a diet that's good for your metabolism and staying active.

There's growing concern that these drugs have side effects that need more research, like reducing muscle mass significantly and potentially leading to weight gain when you stop taking them. While they help in reducing how much you eat, they don't ensure you're eating healthy, high-quality foods, which is key for your body's best metabolic health.

Doctors and patients should think very carefully when choosing these drugs. Safe, proven methods like a healthy diet and exercise should always be the first choices for weight loss and metabolic health.

Thank you to Dr. Peter Attia for being one of the first doctors to notice this potential issue and alerting others to the problems. I highly recommend his book, Outlive.

Of course, all the standard disclaimers apply. I’m not a doctor. I’m just an idiot on the internet. Never take my word for anything and always talk to your doctor first.

I want to hear from you! Are you taking these drugs? What have been your results? Does this ring true for you or am I completely off base? I love hearing from you!

As you may recall, last week I made the offer that “I will improve your winter blues in 7 days, or I'll pay you $50.” I was nervous because I was risking $23,000 of my own money and trying to have some “skin in the game” as they say.

It started off strong with four people saying that they wanted to do it, but unfortunately, no one made it after just the first day.

I’m so confident that this will make anyone happier and I’m so concerned about how many of my friends are saying that they are depressed - I’m making it easier and increasing the offer to $500.

I’m even making it easier to qualify: You don’t have to be addressing Seasonal Affective Disorder (Winter blues), you don’t have to post anything publicly, and you don’t have to give up deserts of change your diet at all.

Here is my new offer:

Following these simple steps will make you happier in 7 days or I will pay you $500. It’s that simple.

Here are the simple rules.

* Get your blood flowing for at least 30 minutes every single day. Work out, Lift, Run, Move, be physically active, or simply go for a purposeful Walk - You choose the work out. You just have to do it every day and it has to be purposeful and deliberate. You need to get your heart rate up. Deep breathing is highly effective for improving mental health and is consistently proven by research.

* Ignore your phone, email, & social media for the first 1 hour of the day and the last 1 hour before you go to bed - every single day. Be present. Don’t be nose down to your phone or device at the start and end of the day.

* Keep a private journal at the end of the day to document how you’re feeling, what you’re grateful for, and what you accomplished in the day. Never miss a day. The journal will be private to you.

* No alcohol or drugs that aren’t prescribed by a doctor for all 7 days.

That’s it. 4 simple steps that require no equipment, no gym membership, nothing for you to buy - all you need is a desire to improve your mood.

I’ve made the rules much simpler. You don’t need to post anything publicly, you don’t need to share how you feel with anyone, this is all completely private between me and you.

Here are the very simple rules:

* You must be a real human living in the USA. I don’t know how the rules in other countries work with stuff like this.

* You must start the challenge on or before 12/11/2023 and complete it before 12/18/2023.

* You must have a desire to be happier than you currently are today. This method isn’t intended to be able to cure your grief or clinically diagnosed depression within 7 days. (But I am confident that this process will probably help.)

* These tasks need to be new to you. If you already do all 4 of the steps above, congratulations! But this challenge doesn’t apply to you.

* You must email me to let me know that you are starting this challenge! Consider this your registration for the challenge. Just email me on the day you start so that we can start the clock running and so that I can send you words of encouragement along the way. This challenge will be private between me and you.

* Each day that you complete all 4 steps, you must document them by sending me an email and letting me know what you did for each of the steps. This entire bet is basically on the honor system, so I need to be able to follow along with your progress each day. You can’t just wait until the end and say “I did it and it didn’t work.” That’s not fair.

* After you complete the 7 days, you must have a friend, a significant other, or a family member that is willing to vouch for you. I want to be able to verify that you did what you said you did. This person doesn’t need to be present for every workout or anything like that. But they do need to be willing to vouch for you and your honesty.

* You must respond to my emails so that we can keep a dialog going. Part of this process is having a partner helping you along the way. I can’t help if you don’t respond.

* At the end of the 7 days, if you have completed all the required steps and you can honestly say that your mood has not improved at all, I will Venmo you $500. It’s that simple. Remember, I’m not promising that you will be the happiest person in the world. With this process we are setting out to improve your mood from the place you started in. Incremental progress is what we are always going after. Not quick easy solutions. Those rarely exist in the real world.

This challenge is limited to the first 50 people that respond. That will cap my expense at $25,000. You don’t need to be a subscriber to my newsletter. I hope this helps as many people as possible.

Let’s do it! Email me and lets get started. I will be your personal coach and motivator along the 7 day journey.

7 days to improve your mood or I’ll pay you $500. What’s stopping you? Lets go!

Next week my topic will be the weight loss drugs, Ozempic and Wegovy. I’ve been working on this article for a while and I’m going to share some of the data, my concerns, and how you can mitigate the harms if you are currently taking those drugs. (As I’ve mentioned before, I am not taking any medication at all and none for weight loss. But I am an early investor in Ozempic & Wegovy.)

Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

If you’re like me, the short days, lack of sunlight, and cold weather can make me a little sad or throw my mood off in general. I’ve developed a system that helps me overcome the winter blues. I am risking $23,000 of my own money because I’m that confident that my system will improve your winter blues or seasonal affective disorder (SAD).

Here is my offer!

I will improve your Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) or winter blues within 7 days or I will pay you $50. It’s that simple.

Here are the rules. All you need to do is be a subscriber (free or paid) to my newsletter as of 11/28/2023. If you follow my process below and honestly report on your progress - if after 7 days, your mood hasn’t improved, I will Venmo you $50. It’s that simple. Here is my process to cure your winter blues.

How to overcome the winter blues, Seasonal affective disorder, or SAD within 7 days.

* Get your blood flowing for at least 30 minutes every single day. Work out, Lift, Run, Move, be physically active, or simply go for a purposeful Walk - You choose the work out. You just have to do it every day and it has to be purposeful and deliberate. You need to get your heart rate up. Breathing deeply is the number one activity that has been proven to improve mental health.

* Ignore your phone, email, & social media for the first 1 hour of the day and the last 1 hour before you go to bed - every single day. Be present. Don’t be nose down to your phone or device.

* Keep a private journal at the end of the day to document how you’re feeling, what you’re grateful for, and what you accomplished in the day. Never miss a day. The journal will be private to you.

* Avoid cheap dopamine. Prioritize long term pleasures over short term pleasures. This means no desserts, no TikTok, ignore the news, no alcohol, and no drugs that aren’t prescribed to you by a doctor. You don’t need to go sober forever, but for 7 days, it’s time to focus on your mental health.

That’s it. 4 simple steps that require no equipment, no gym membership, nothing for you to buy - all you need is a desire to improve your mood.

As of writing this post I have 464 subscribers. So that means I am risking $23,200 of my own money. This is very risky for me but that’s how confident I am that it will work for you.

Rules:

* You must be a free or paid subscriber to my newsletter before 11/28/2023.

* You must be a real human living in the USA. I don’t know how the rules in other countries work with stuff like this.

* You must start the challenge on or before 11/29/2023 and complete it before 12/7/2023.

* You must be currently experiencing Seasonal affective disorder, or SAD, or have the winter blues… basically you have to be feeling sad because of the weather change. I’m not claiming to be able to cure your grief or clinically diagnosed depression within 7 days. But I will suggest that this process will probably help..

* You must email me to let me know that you are starting this challenge! Consider this your registration for the challenge. Just email me on the day you start so that we can start the clock running and so that I can send you words of encouragement along the way.

* Each day that you complete all 4 steps, you must document them with a comment on this post on Substack and let me know what you did for each of the steps. This entire bet is basically on the honor system, so I need to be able to follow along with your progress each day. You can’t just wait until the end and say “I did it and it didn’t work.” That’s not fair.

* You must have a friend, a significant other, or a family member that is willing to vouch for you. I want to be able to verify that you did what you said you did. This person doesn’t need to do anything, they don’t need to be present for every workout or anything like that. But they do need to be willing to vouch for you and your honesty.

* At the end of the 7 days, if you have completed all the required steps and you can honestly say that your mood has not improved at all, I will Venmo you $50. It’s that simple. Remember, I’m not promising that you will be the happiest person in the world. With this process we are setting out to improve your mood from the place you started in. Incremental progress is what we are always going after. Not quick easy solutions. Those rarely exist in the real world.

I want you to be happier. If you want to be happier, this is exactly how you can do it. I guarantee.

If you’re not currently a subscriber and you want to participate in this journey, awesome, let’s do it! You won’t be eligible for the $50 prize, but you’ll get the best gift of all. The feeling of accomplishment and an improvement mood. And hell, maybe I’ll even send you a gift anyway because I’ll be so proud of you.

Let’s go!

But this isn’t a sales pitch for them… I’m mentioning this because I want to give you a FREE bottle of Sauce as a Thank You for being a subscriber to this newsletter! All you need to do is reply to this email and I will send you a coupon code so that you can get a free bottle. That’s it. No strings attached. I just can’t thank you enough for supporting me on this journey of creating content and improving my health.

Your support helped lift me out of a very dark place and I want to pay it back in a small way. Thank you again. Please reply to this email so that I can send you your own bottle.

This week I had the pleasure of being a guest on the Rising Above Podcast with David Hess. David is a local guy that overcame a childhood of abuse and neglect suffered at the hands of his foster parents. He started this podcast as a way to share the stories of others that have overcame adversity to rise above.

It was a great conversation. We talk about my background at Liquid Web, the Year Of The Opposite, his history of abuse, how my ownership of Liquid Web was structured, the joys of running, and much more. I hope that you enjoy this podcast as much as I did.

Weight Achievement

This week I am happy to report that I achieved my target body weight goal and the lowest weight of my adult life, 173lbs! It was pretty cool because it was also at the end of a 10 mile run that I topped off with a 3 minute cold plunge. Check out this video.

Bonus Tip & Life Hack - The Best iPhone Feature Ever - Silence Unknown Callers

Are you sick of spam calls? I (used to) get at least 10 a day. Not anymore! You can Silence Unknown Callers. If the phone number isn’t in your address book the call doesn’t ring and it gets sent to voicemail. The call will still show up in your recent calls list. The caller doesn’t know any different. It’s amazing. It puts you in control of your phone again.

To turn it on, go to Settings > Phone, then > Silence Unknown Callers, and turn on the feature. Or go to Settings, pull down to access Search, type “Silence Unknown Callers” and turn it on that way.

Calls from unknown numbers are silenced and sent to your voicemail, and appear in your recent calls list.

Today’s newsletter is a short one because I really want to hear from you. I’m hoping that this will be a two way conversation. So please, even if you don’t want the bottle of sauce, reply to this email and let me know you’re out there. You can let me know what you like about the newsletter, your suggestions for improvement, what is going on in your life, or anything else that comes to mind.

I look forward to hearing from you!

* Trav

Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Thank You! I want to thank YOU for subscribing and following this journey. It means the world to me.

Some people have wondered ‘How Did the Insider.com Article Happen?’

My good friend Matt Tubergen came across this article from Rachel at Insider.com “A man lost 125 pounds by doing the opposite of everything he tried before, including eating carbs” It was amazing how similar it was to my story so I immediately reached out to the subject of the article, Chris Terrell, and that connection led me to Rachel who ended up asking to write a story about my journey.

Chris and I have now talked a few times and we are in the process of scheduling a time for him to come and be interviewed on the Year Of The Opposite Podcast!

Welcome to the new subscribers that learned about this journey from the Insider.com article. A few notes so you know what to expect. This newsletter is completely free and that reason I am writing it is to challenge myself to publish a piece of content once a week. It’s another one of my Year Of The Opposite Challenges. My only wish is to provide a small bit of help to people that may be struggling with depression or health issues like I was so that I can show them the path that I used to improve my situation. If you would like to start your own Year Of The Opposite, please reply to this email or comment below and I would be glad to help!

If you are looking to learn more about this journey, here is your starting guide to The Year Of The Opposite. Let’s start with some links that will help you learn more about this project/newsletter and dive into the content:

* Why did I start my Year Of The Opposite?

* How to start your own Year Of The Opposite: A step by step guide to start your own year of the opposite & the results from my first Year Of The Opposite.

* How I cured my depression in 5 months by living a Year Of The Opposite.

* Why you should start journaling nightly and how to be more grateful.

* How I lost 62lbs & built a habit of working out everyday by living a Year of The Opposite.

* Going from not being able to run a half mile, to running 1,000 miles in 1 year!

* Clearing Up The Rumors: The Real Story of How Matthew Hill from Liquid Web Died.

Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Health Triumphs

The year started with a momentous occasion: running my first half-marathon distance on my 42nd birthday in Las Vegas. As the year unfolded, my health milestones were significant. In September 2022, my risk of dying from a cardiac event in the next 10 years showed a dramatic drop from 16% to 2%. Even my doctors were amazed; in that same month, they stopped all my medications and my medical conditions had been resolved! This was one of the proudest days of my life.

Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Continuing my health journey, I achieved a new low weight 177 lbs and raised my VO2 Max from "Below Average" to "High." One study suggests that this cut my risk of dying at any time in half! (Reduction in All Cause Mortality.)

With a commitment to running, I logged 1,000 miles in 365 days, and I achieved a sub-7-minute mile along the way. I couldn’t have imagined this a year ago when I was incapable of running a short distance around the block.

Daring Feats

My "Opposite Challenges" ranged from physically demanding feats to mind testing experiences. Running continued to be my favorite work out activity. I ran 1 mile backwards, which is way harder than I expected and also incredibly good for your knees.

I tackled a 2,000,000 Scoville hot wing by completing the Hot Ones Challenge. I taught myself how to hold my breath for 2 minutes and 44 seconds and I broke my personal record in the 41 degree cold plunge by being able to stay submerged up to my neck for 14 minutes. Cold plunging is one of the best feelings that I have found in the world. I LOVE it! I will be writing a full post about it soon.

Professional Achievements

In the professional sphere, Saddleback BBQ, the restaurant I co-own, received the Michigan 50 Small Businesses To Watch Award which is the most prestigious business award in State. We also accepted the “Certificate of Pure Achievement” from the state of Michigan and we were also honored as the Greater Lansing Business Of The Year.

These accolades weren't without their challenges, though. Our Pizza place on Pennsylvania had the front window smashed and the cash register stolen and a brazen robbery where our mobile pizza oven was stolen from our west side location. Luckily, we were able to recover the pizza oven in another city 50 miles away.

Community Involvement

Community involvement is very important to me so I volunteered for new positions to serve. I joined the Community Board of Ele’s Place which is an incredible non-profit that helps children that are dealing with the death of a parent.

My 5 year old, Lane, started Kindergarten this year and I was appointed to Trustee of the Haslett School Board. Which also led to my first time expelling a student… not fun. I will be sharing more about my experience on the school board in a post soon.

Personal Growth and Skills

On a personal growth front, I got a Concealed Carry Pistol Permit, learned how to make donuts at Sprinkles Donuts, and even tried my hand at walleye fishing. All of these activities might seem disparate, but they're united in the fact that I would have never done these before my year of the opposite. They were pushing me out of my comfort zone and I was challenging myself. It also led me to meet new people and get a better respect for the views of others.

Coping and Self-Improvement

This year wasn't without its emotional challenges. As you may recall, every night I rate myself on a scale from -2 to +2. +2 representing an amazingly awesome day. -2 representing an awful terrible day.

Luckily, last year I was able to turn my mood around quickly after my friends passing by pursuing the Year Of The Opposite. My average rating for age 41 was .72. Which meant that I was in the happy range.

Unfortunately, my rating for age 42 slipped a little to .58.

Looking back at my journals I can see what happened…

After my first Year Of The Opposite was completed in March of 2023, I relaxed some of my rules. I drank alcohol on 18 days and I would occasionally use marijuana with friends. I was trying to test to see what impact this would have on my happiness and performance.

Well, the results are in, and they aren’t good. There is a inverse correlation between my happiness and me using alcohol and marijuana. My happiness ratings consistently go down in the days following my use of these substances. I was pretty surprised by how stark the effect was.

Travel

Last year I did a 360 review where I had friends, family, co-workers and business partners rate me and provide feedback about my performance anonymously. I then fed that information into artificial intelligence to have it create a new years resolution list. One of the things that continually came up was that I didn’t travel enough.

So this year we tried to travel at least once a month. We travelled to numerous places in Michigan and also visited Nashville, Chicago, North Carolina, Buffalo, Pennsylvania, Las Vegas, and Cleveland. (The Schvitz in Chicago and Cleveland are amazing. Thanks Laur!)

In summary

In summary, my 42nd year was a transformative one. I became healthier, braved new challenges, achieved professional milestones, and contributed to my community. As I turn 43, I’m not just a year older but immeasurably enriched, eagerly looking forward to what the next year has in store.

Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

In today's climate, we frequently find ourselves bombarded with distressing or shocking news from around the globe. We're often compelled to quickly assess incomplete information, identify who is in the right or wrong, and declare our allegiances both vocally and publicly.

Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Take, for instance, a devastating incident involving police gunfire. Within hours of the tragedy, we categorize ourselves into factions, assess the fragmentary information available, decide which side to endorse, and begin publicly championing our chosen stance on social media.

We can easily become ensnared in this cycle due to the countless daily tragedies occurring worldwide. With unprecedented access to information, those who seek outrage and anger will find an inexhaustible wellspring of distressing news to consume.

I'm as culpable as anyone in this regard. However, when I faced depression last year following the deaths of my friends, I observed that participating in the divisive activity of taking sides on current tragic events exacerbated my already fragile mental state.

For me, the focal news event at the time was the conflict in Ukraine. I was already descending into a dark spiral of depression, exacerbated by grief that I had yet to properly identify. While grappling with my own volatile mental health—marked by palpable feelings of guilt and grief—I was also continuously exposed to the relentless stream of tragic and miserable reports emanating from Ukraine.

I yearned to make sense of the tragedy, to comprehend the incomprehensible. I wanted to neatly categorize the individuals involved as either "good guys" or "bad guys." The uncertainty was too uncomfortable—I needed to know where I stood. I wanted:

* An enemy to direct my anger toward and hold accountable.

* A team to support, so I could declare my allegiance with conviction.

Had I been in a stable mental state and not grappling with depression, perhaps engaging in this "news-sport" game would have been less harmful. But the reality was different. I was clinically depressed, burdened with anxiety, plagued by sleepless nights, and addicted to the constant flow of news.

“Secure your own mask first before assisting others.”

I was fortunate enough to have a moment of clarity, realizing that my incessant consumption of news about the Ukraine conflict was detrimental to my mental health. I took immediate action by initiating what I termed a "News Diet," deliberately distancing myself from the news and politics to focus solely on things within my control.

This news diet had a profoundly positive impact on my mental well-being. In hindsight, it's hardly surprising; common sense suggests that if someone is already struggling emotionally, immersing them in a continuous stream of distressing news is likely counterproductive.

I'm not advocating for a universal disengagement from current events. Nor am I suggesting that people should be so self-absorbed that they only care about their immediate surroundings. What I am saying is that it's essential to secure your own well-being first, as a foundation for helping others.

If you are struggling with mental health issues, consider shutting off the news and tuning out for a while and see if it helps.

As the stoic philosopher, Marcus Aurelius said: "You always own the option of having no opinion. There is never any need to get worked up or to trouble your soul about things you can't control. These things are not asking to be judged by you. Leave them alone." Or the quote from Epictetus: "People are not disturbed by things, but by the views they take of them."

I know that what I am suggesting seems terrible to many of you. Ignore the news and ignore the tragic death of others? That would have been unthinkable to me two years ago! Hell, I may have even seen it as evil and immoral. I thought that every person had a duty to weigh in on these issues and decide which team they were on.

But do we? I’m not so sure anymore. I am not so sure that every person must have an opinion on every tragedy in the world.

But one thing I’m certain of, someone that is not in a good mental health situation should absolutely not pollute their clouded mind with additional negative images that will only serve to make their mental health issues worse. That just doesn’t make any logical sense.

Turning off the news proved to be one of the most significant steps I took to enhance my mental well-being. Initially, disengaging from the "Sport of News," where I had regularly chosen sides to support or oppose, felt challenging. I was distancing myself from a community I had identified with. However, what I hadn't initially considered was that by abstaining from choosing a side, I was also avoiding the creation of adversaries who held differing views. While I might have sacrificed a sense of belonging to one group, I was also refraining from isolating myself from the other. In essence, I was opting for neutrality, simply staying out of the fray.

Now I have adopted a policy a little more like this beautiful quote:

"Choose your battles wisely. After all, life isn't measured by how many times you stood up to fight. It's not winning battles that makes you happy, but it's how many times you turned away and chose to look into a better direction. Life is too short to spend it on warring. Fight only the most, most, most important ones, let the rest go." - C. JoyBell C.

Just remember, you always have the right to have no opinion. And when you’re struggling with mental health issues yourself, do not take on the struggles of the entire world. Secure your facemask first before assisting others.

Don’t forget: My writing is a reminder for myself, not a lecture to others. I hope you enjoyed this weeks article. I love hearing from you. Reply to this email, comment below, text message me, or call anytime. Your feedback means the world to me.

A Personal Note About My Birthday.

As I celebrated my 43rd birthday on October 9th, 2023, it provided an excellent opportunity for reflection on the past year. While I intend to offer a more comprehensive review of the year's events, today I'd like to highlight a couple of cool recent moments.

* On my birthday I took the oath of office to become a trustee of the Haslett Board of Education.

* Last week, Saddleback won the Greater Lansing Business Of The Year at the Greater Lansing Entrepreneurial Awards from 517 Magazine. It was a beautiful night with a lot of friends and family in the audience. Check out the amazing video below.

Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Today I’m going to talk about a topic that almost no one wants to discuss: Sadness.

The reason I want to talk about this even though it’s difficult and uncomfortable to do so is that:

* Sadness struck me unexpectedly this morning and I want to attempt to understand what caused it & how to avoid it in the future.

* I think social media and newsletters like this can project and incomplete and potentially misleading representation of the authors life. I want to attempt to present a more balanced picture.

I think that people only seeing the highlights & good stuff on social media can create a powerful illusion that everyone else’s life is happier and more exciting than their own. I have a sneaking suspicion that this is one of the many reasons why people seem to be more depressed these days.

I have observed that my own personal social media posts and this newsletter may also contribute to this problem.

I noticed that my post explaining how I cured my grief related depression gave people the incorrect impression that I was always happy. This of course is not true and I struggle with mood swings like most of us do.

To combat this perception problem that my post created, I am going to make a concerted effort to be more balanced in my writing. I want to make sure that I share my struggles and battles as well as my wins and triumphs. I want to make sure that I am painting a fair picture of my life and not broadcasting a distorted overly positive view of my life.

Also note: I understand my life is blessed and that my struggles and sadness pale in comparison to what others are experiencing. I have nothing to complain about. But, that is precisely why I think it’s important to share our struggles so that we all can appreciate how unique, yet familiar, our shared human experience can be.

Today I am going to share one of my struggles. Please let me know what you think. Do you think I should share more like this or do you think I should focus on the positive uplifting stuff? Your feedback is very helpful.

Today (Monday) I woke up sad and it was hard to get out of bed.

Taking inventory: What was I feeling when I woke up?

* Lonely: I felt alone. I had a strange feeling that no one cared about me.

* Unlovable: I felt that I wasn’t lovable. I felt that my presence upset people and that my participation in events didn’t bring joy to people’s lives.

* Directionless: I felt directionless. I felt like I didn’t have a purpose or a mission to work towards today.

It’s embarrassing to admit that I felt these emotions this morning. It makes me feel a little pathetic and very vulnerable. Moreover, sharing my feelings so openly stirred a sense of guilt within me, reflecting an ungratefulness for the many privileges I enjoy compared to others. What gives me the right to feel this way and complain about it when others have it so much worse?

Of course, logically, all of the sad feelings I was experiencing have no factual justification. How could I feel lonely and unlovable with Laken and Lane showering me with love and attention everyday including this morning? How could I feel like my friends don’t like being around me when I had an amazing weekend with 3 of my closest friends spending the weekend at our house? How could I feel directionless when I have a to-do list a mile long and more opportunities to pursue than there are hours in the day to pursue them?

My sadness makes absolutely no sense when you look at it logically. But of course, that knowledge didn’t make my sadness disappear. Even though in my brain I knew that I had no reason to be sad, I couldn’t shake it. It’s frustrating how that happens.

Then I remembered something, this feeling of sadness without a logical reason to explain it, used to happen to me a lot. The feelings often came disguised alongside a hangover, but not always.

It made me very thankful to realize that in the past year, these feelings have become very rare. To the point where I almost forgot how this feels.

That realization got me thinking, what changed in the past year? Why is it more rare for me to feel morning sadness now?

One of the things that I have gotten really good at is documenting my days with nightly logs and journal entries.

It was time for me to analyze how I was doing on my daily activities by analyzing my journal entries and daily reports. Let’s take a look:

* How was I doing on waking up early, brushing my teeth, flossing, making my bed, and seeing Lane in the morning? I was only successful 20% of the time.

* Was I doing my 7 min HIIT workout in the morning? No, 0% in the past 7 days.

* Was I maintaining my diet? No. I ate very poorly for multiple days.

* Was I honoring my 75 Hard Challenge? No. I failed.

* Was I journaling every night? No, 33%.

* Was I tracking and rating my performance on my metrics with the Way Of Life App? No. I was 6 days behind.

* Was I ignoring my phone 1 hour before & after sleep? No. I failed at this 6 of the past 7 nights.

* Was I ignoring the news and focusing on only what I can control? No. I failed at this 75% of the time.

When I stopped and evaluated my activities for the past couple weeks it became obvious why I was not happy. I was neglecting the activities that consistently make me happy. I was breaking promises to myself by failing at 75-Hard, I violated my diet, I neglected journaling, I didn’t practice gratitude, I missed my exercises, I was focusing on things outside of my control, I was watching the news, and I was too addicted to my phone.

Of course I was depressed this morning!

In retrospect, knowing what I know now, I was setting myself up to be sad. I was literally doing everything possible to make sure that I woke up sad. I was not being disciplined and I was not honoring the commitments that I had made to myself.

There is a quote that I heard once that seems relevant here: hard choices easy life, easy choices hard life.

* I used to think that waking up sad would cause me to have a bad day.

* Now I realize that in most cases, waking up sad is the direct result of me making bad life choices.

* I had it backwards….

All of the things that I was doing recently were the easy choices. Eating ice cream made me feel great for a few fleeting moments. Going to lunch with friends instead of exercising was very entertaining for about an hour. Sleeping in and watching TV with Lane instead of running the 8K race was relaxing. All of these things gave me a little temporary satisfaction. But the feeling disappears quickly.

And as I sit here today battling the sadness that I currently feel, I know that I could temporarily mask my feelings by repeating all these same activities. I could just drink a bourbon and I’d forget about the sadness almost immediately. I could eat some ice cream for a short burst of pleasure. I could fire up TikTok or Youtube for some mindless entertainment. But none of this would address the root cause of my sadness. I would just be masking the problems for a very short while.

The momentary sadness that I feel today can’t be meaningfully solved with a cheap easy fix. The only way for me to regain lasting happiness is to recommit myself to the daily activities that consistently generate these positive emotions.

By re-committing myself to health, fitness & diet, I’m rebuilding my self confidence. As Naval says: “Self-esteem is just the reputation that you have with yourself.”

Today I am starting to rebuild my self-esteem. I am re-committing myself to the practices that have consistently led to more happy days.

However, I gotta tell ya, it would be a hell of a lot quicker and easier to just drink a Manhattan. But my logical brain knows that activity will only provide a few moments of artificial happiness. My true happiness only comes from having a good reputation with myself and that means doing the hard work to forgo the easy choice and make the hard choice everyday.

“Show me your habits, I'll show you your future.”

“Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one” - Bruce Lee.

I would really appreciate hearing from you. If you enjoyed this please reply to this email, comment on the post, text message me, or give me a call. Your feedback means the world to me.

** Full disclosure: I have nothing against drinking alcohol. Alcohol is a popular tool because of how effective it is. But for me personally, it doesn’t seem to be a long term solution to my mental wellbeing as it tends to make my moods more inconsistent and hard to regulate. Alcohol in general makes it harder for me to regulate my emotions and maintain a more consistent emotional temperament. But if it works for you, more power to you! You find no judgement from me.

How I failed at 75 Hard

I wish I had a cooler tale, but here’s the truth. After 26 days into the “75 Hard” challenge, I slipped up. I missed my 45-minute outdoor workout and broke my diet with some ice cream. I’m really disappointed in myself. I want to give it another shot, but I’m torn. If I restart now, it’ll clash with Thanksgiving. Skipping Thanksgiving for 75 Hard is a big deal, and I need to think hard about that. (Pun intended).

An Important Reminder about My Writing:

I'm no philosopher and far from perfect. I haven't got it all figured out, and I'm not the one to dish out advice. What I write here captures my thoughts at the moment—imperfect and evolving as they are. Mostly, I write to keep a record for my future self, recounting lessons learned and mistakes made.

Don't expect me to push an agenda or persuade you to see things my way. I'm simply sharing my thoughts at a given point in time. I fully expect that some of my views will be proven wrong as time goes on, and I'm open to changing my mind. In general I like the idea of "Strong opinions, weakly held." Have a reasoned stance, but be willing to adjust when better information comes along.

In today's culture, changing your mind is often seen as a weakness—you might even get labeled a 'flip-flopper.' That's a shame. We should applaud, not scorn, those who can critically examine their own long-held beliefs, stress-test them against new data, and have the courage to admit they were wrong. It's not an easy thing to do; it can be overwhelming, even frightening.

So when you read my writing, understand that it's not gospel. It's a snapshot of my thinking, and I welcome the opportunity for it to evolve. Let's celebrate the potential for growth and change rather than fearing it.

Thank you for reading Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack. This post is public so feel free to share it.

Why School Boards Matter

If you’re like me and weren’t really familiar with what a School Board does, school boards play a critical role in shaping the future of our children’s education and our community. School Boards set the vision and goals for the district, collaborate with the superintendent to implement policies, and are responsible for financial oversight and advocacy. In essence, a strong school board lays the foundation for a successful educational system, ensuring that both students and staff have the resources and support they need to succeed.

My Commitment to Our Community

I can't express enough how excited and honored I am to serve in this capacity. Education is the cornerstone of any community, and I'm deeply committed to ensuring that our students, parents, and educators are supported. I'm looking forward to learning from my fellow board members, the educators, and the community as we collectively work to maintain and elevate the already sterling reputation of Haslett Public Schools.

Thank you for entrusting me with this important role. I'm eager to contribute and make a positive impact on our community's future.

Below is my application for the position of Trustee of the Haslett Public Schools Board of Education.

Dear Haslett School Board,

As a lifelong resident of the Greater Lansing area and a committed member of the Haslett community, I am writing to express my interest in serving on the Haslett School Board. My wife, Laken, and I are raising our 5-year-old son, Lane, who is currently enrolled at Wilkshire Elementary School.

With a diverse background as a seasoned entrepreneur, community advocate, and former board member on various local organizations, I bring a unique blend of skills in strategic planning, financial management, and community engagement. I am deeply committed to leveraging my experience to contribute to the educational excellence and overall well-being of our district's students.  Below you will find the answers to the three questions and attached you will find my complete resume.  I look forward to this opportunity to serve the community I love.  

1. Why are you interested in serving on the school board?I have a deep-rooted connection to the Haslett community and the Greater Lansing area, where I've spent my entire life. My family—my wife, Laken, and our 5-year-old son, Lane—is directly impacted by the quality of education in Haslett Public Schools, as Lane is currently a student at Wilkshire Elementary School. My interest in serving on the school board is not just a personal commitment to my family but a broader commitment to every family in our district. I firmly believe that a strong educational system is the cornerstone of a prosperous, vibrant community. I want to contribute to creating an environment where every child has the opportunity to succeed, where teachers feel supported, and where parents are confident in the education their children are receiving. I see serving on the school board as a way to give back to a community that has given me so much and to ensure that future generations have even more opportunities for success.

Moreover, my desire to serve on the school board is fueled by a profound sense of duty and unwavering commitment to enriching our community. As the co-owner of Saddleback BBQ, my business partner and I have consistently leveraged our resources to make a meaningful impact. For instance, we have twice cleared student lunch debts at Mason School District and similarly eliminated library debts, alleviating financial burdens for families. During the COVID-19 pandemic, when school lunch programs were suspended, we stepped in to provide thousands of meals to children in need. Beyond education, our community involvement extends to aiding local businesses, contributing to disaster relief efforts in Midland and Gaylord, and distributing thousands of holiday meals to underserved families. This ethos of community service is not just a corporate responsibility for us; it's a deeply held value. I approach the prospect of serving on the school board with the same level of seriousness and commitment.

For a detailed account of our community involvement, please visit:  https://www.saddlebackbbq.com/blogs/blog/saddlebacks-work-in-the-community-and-donation-requests2. What qualities, skills, and experience would you bring to the board?As a seasoned entrepreneur with a diverse background, I bring a unique set of skills to the table. I co-own Saddleback BBQ and Slice by Saddleback, businesses that have consistently been profitable and have expanded to four locations since their inception in 2015. This experience has honed my skills in financial management, strategic planning, and operations—all of which are directly applicable to the fiscal responsibilities of a school board member. My businesses have been recognized for their excellence, including being named a "Michigan 50 Companies to Watch" in 2023, which demonstrates my commitment to quality and excellence.In addition to my business acumen, my extensive experience in marketing and communications would be invaluable in promoting the district's initiatives and engaging with the community. I understand the power of storytelling and advocacy, skills that can be leveraged to build stronger relationships between the school district, parents, and the community at large.Furthermore, I have extensive experience serving on boards, including roles on the Ele's Place, East Lansing Zoning Board of Appeals, and East Lansing Info. These roles have given me a solid foundation in governance, policy-making, and community service and have equipped me with the skills to navigate the complexities of board dynamics and governance effectively.3. What do you see as the roles and responsibilities of school board members?

Based on my understanding, the role of a school board member is multi-faceted and extends well beyond attending regular and committee meetings. First and foremost, board members are responsible for setting the vision and goals for the district, working in collaboration with the superintendent to implement policies aimed at improving student achievement. This involves a deep understanding of the educational landscape, including curriculum, teaching methods, and the social and emotional needs of students.Financial oversight is another critical responsibility. Board members must scrutinize budgets, ensure responsible spending, and seek out additional funding opportunities, all while balancing the needs and wants of various stakeholders. Given my background in business and financial management, I am well-equipped to contribute effectively in this area.Advocacy is another key aspect of the role. Board members must serve as vocal advocates for the district, engaging with local, state, and federal officials to secure necessary resources and policies that benefit our schools. They must also be effective communicators, capable of engaging with the community to build support for district initiatives and to keep stakeholders informed.Professional development is crucial. Effective boards participate in team development and training to ensure that they are up-to-date with the latest trends and best practices in education governance. This commitment to continuous learning is something I highly value and have consistently pursued in my professional life.

Thank you very much for your time and consideration. 

* Travis Stoliker

Sure, learning new skills was a given, but what caught me off guard was how these fresh experiences connected me with diverse groups of people I'd never interacted with before.

Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

For instance, I’d have to learn about the mechanics of the gun to get my concealed carry permit or I’d have to learn how to hold my golf club in order to strike a golf ball correctly for the first time. This was the obvious part.

But what I now realize is that there may have been an even bigger benefit: exposing me to new people & ideas.

By adopting new hobbies, work outs, religious groups, teachers, sports, and diets, I am getting introduced to tribes of people that are different from the tribes I historically surrounded myself with. These new tribes have their own languages, rituals, traditions, art, priests, and holy days. Golf has its own language. So does pickleball, antiquing, running, and so on.

It’s hard for someone to know what a Slice really feels like if they have never swung a club or to know what a runners-high is without running. Because of my Year Of The Opposite, I was now a part of countless new communities of people that I had rarely interacted with in the past.

Take this for example, most of my life I had never desired to own a gun, but as a part of my year of the opposite challenge I got my concealed carry pistol permit. As you can imagine, this introduced me to a lot of people that had different views than I did on a lot of topics.

Similarly, my ride along with Lansing police department gave me a first hand opportunity to see a tiny glimpse into policing and public safety. Or my experience going to church and donating to charities illuminated a world of people providing good deeds in the community that was invisible to me before.

Through my initiative, Year Of The Opposite, I've encountered an unprecedented number of new connections, experiences, and perspectives. Whether it's my involvement with the Rotary Club, participation in local boards, engagement in CEO roundtables, or attendance at a record number of tradeshows and professional development events, the journey has been incredibly enriching.

Yet, the privilege of immersing myself in diverse communities, exploring novel hobbies, and collaborating with new mentors and peers has compelled me to reevaluate many of my pre-existing beliefs. I came to realize that some of my convictions, though passionately held, lacked a robust foundation and were often not informed by firsthand experience.

Upon closer examination, it became evident that many of my viewpoints weren't genuinely my own. Rather, they were borrowed from others or were the result of impulsive judgments I had made at some point. From then on, I felt an inexplicable obligation to maintain and defend these stances.

Now, these very "opinions" are being rigorously tested by individuals with firsthand experiences that differ significantly from my own, forcing me to reconsider and refine my understanding of various topics.

For instance, before I owned a gun and I didn’t know much about the concealed carry permitting process. I used to think that concealed carry classes were for people that “just loved their guns too much.” But when I talked to Michelle Rogers and learned that she felt her concealed carry license was the only protection she had against the person who had stabbed her 7 times and left her for dead, it changed my view. I now realized that some people had a very real threat that they needed to be able to defend themselves against. I gained a new appreciation for a perspective that I was completely ignorant about.

Or as another example, when I was growing up we didn’t have hunters in our family and I thought that hunters were cruel people that were needlessly harming adorable animals. I couldn’t understand why anyone would want to shoot a defenseless animal when they could just go to the grocery store and buy some hamburger.

I would question the hunters motivations and unfairly assign to them a desire to inflict death on other creatures. I’m embarrassed to say this because of how wrong I was obviously. Now I realize that hunters are the very people that defend and protect the wildlife that they hunt and that hunters have a deep respect and appreciation for the food system. Arguably, more so that non-hunters. I had it completely backwards.

Or one final example, before my Year Of The Opposite, I was a news addict. I would regularly tune into the local TV news at 5 and 6pm and everyday I would spring out of bed and rush to find out which new political outrage was happening that I should be angry about. It literally seemed like everyday there were multiple things that I needed to project my anger about.

* Someone said something wrong and they needed to be punished for it.

* A terrible tragedy happened somewhere in the world and I needed to have an opinion on it.

* Some political actor is doing something that is going to destroy the world or our country.

At first when I gave up the news, I felt like I was missing out. Someone would come up to me and say “Did you hear about XYZ?” and I would feel a bit ashamed when I confessed that I knew nothing about that topic. But what I learned is that I wasn’t missing out on anything.

I’ve found that if a topic is truly important to your life, you will hear about it at some point. It will have a direct impact on you at some point. But most things you hear about on the news, will never impact you at all. That’s kinda how the news works.

The news is always talking about things as they happen in real time. As Naval says: “The media’s job is to make every problem, your problem.” But most of the topics that the media wants us to have an opinion on are things that may never happen or in most cases will have no impact on our lives. For instance:

* Does knowing about the latest wildfire in California impact your life?

* Does knowing about the latest school shooting impact your life?

* Does knowing about the latest bill that’s going through congress impact you?

* Does knowing about the latest war in another country change your life?

* Does knowing about a family dying in a car accident impact your life?

In most cases, these events are not going to impact your life at all. And if they are going to impact your life, most likely you will hear about them in ways other than the news media.

This made me ask myself a question: Why was I tuning into the news? Was it to be more informed or was it to feel like I belonged to a team and had a side to cheer alongside?

It took awhile for me to discover, but the answer for me was obvious. I was a news junkie so that I could feel connected to a team that I could cheer with and so that I could identify the “others” who had the “wrong” opinion on these various topics. News was my Sport.

When a school shooting would happen the conversation would quickly divide into: Who thinks all guns should be banned and who thinks the solution is giving kindergarten teachers assault rifles? I was asked to pick a side. NOW!

When Russia invades Ukraine: Do you think Putin is a hero or a murderer? Decide now!

When a wildfire breaks out: Do you think the world is going to end from climate change in 20 years or are you a climate denier? Pick a side!

Me being someone that is online a lot and a frequent user of social media, it made my righteousness even easier to spread and demonstrate to others. I could spend hours online arguing in the comments with complete strangers about the complicated history of Russia, The USA, the Ukraine, and NATO.

I would quickly identify the other person as either on-my-side and correct or not-on-my-side and obviously wrong. Most likely I would even categorize them into groups based on that one belief.

For instance, if they believed that the world is going to end in 20 years due to climate change, they probably also voted for Biden, had taken 20 booster shots, had a Ukrainian flag in their window, and never shot a pistol.

If the person thought that the solution to school shootings was to arm the teachers with AR15’s, they probably also voted for Trump, drove a pickup, and didn’t recycle.

Thinking back on it, it was so gross! I was categorizing people and pre judging them without even knowing them. There is a word for that: Prejudice.

But what I was doing, I would argue, is what many people are doing everyday. We see someone with pink hair and we lump them into a group. We see someone with a MAGA hat and we lump them into a group. We see someone with a rainbow bumper sticker and we do the same. But these generalizations are terrible!

Something beautiful that happened to me in my Year Of The Opposite is that I got to spend real quality time with people that I had never hung out with before. They had different religious beliefs, different hobbies, different cultural traditions, different political beliefs, different holidays, and different perspectives.

It wasn’t easy for me to write these people off and discount them as “wrong” or “evil” because I had developed a relationship with them. I had developed respect for them.

These people had often generously donated their time and experience to teach me about a new topic or to learn a new skill. They were my new teachers, my new teammates, and my new friends. I couldn’t just write them off as an “evil person” simply because they wore a MAGA hat. How could I? I knew their children. I knew their grandma. I knew that they had spent the last 3 months carrying for a child that wasn’t their own so that the child could avoid entering the foster system and potentially be reunited with their mother that was attempting to break free of her drug addiction.

I couldn't easily label someone as evil or beyond redemption for wearing a MAGA hat, especially when they've done something as noble as rescuing a child from a difficult situation.

In no way am I cured completely. But this experience taught me a huge lesson about how prejudiced I was being. I try to do better now. I try to resist my temptation to prejudge people and group them into neat buckets. I try to reserve my judgement and be more accepting of other people’s ideas. I try to be more skeptical of my own certainty about my opinions and my positions.

There is an easy way to do this: spend time with people that are different from you. It will help you learn to respect them and to appreciate their perspective on topics.

I’m still not great at this but I’m trying and the Year Of The Opposite helped make me a little more understanding and appreciative of the wide variety of opinions that others hold. It’s one of the most beautiful things that has come out of this experience.

Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

* Why did I start my Year Of The Opposite?

* How to start your own Year Of The Opposite: A step by step guide to start your own year of the opposite & the results from my first Year Of The Opposite.

* How I cured my depression in 5 months by living a Year Of The Opposite.

* Why you should start journaling nightly and how to be more grateful.

* How I lost 62lbs & built a habit of working out everyday by living a Year of The Opposite.

* Going from not being able to run a half mile, to running 1,000 miles in 1 year!

* Clearing Up The Rumors: The Real Story of How Matthew Hill from Liquid Web Died.

What Is the Year Of The Opposite?

The Year of the Opposite is a blog and podcast where I share my personal journey of transformation in the face of overwhelming grief and depression. At the age of 41, I lost three close friends within just five months, which sent me spiraling into a deep depression. Despite my somewhat successful career and seemingly great life, I struggled to find purpose and happiness.

Inspired by Admiral William H. McRaven's commencement speech and the Seinfeld episode, "The Opposite," I decided to make small changes in my life, starting with waking up early and making my bed every day.

This small change snowballed into my decision to embrace a "year of the opposite," challenging myself to step out of my comfort zone and do the opposite of what I had done before. I started with the simple act of waking up early and making my bed, but I enjoyed it so much I kept challenging myself with new interesting challenges that were the opposite of what I had traditionally done in my life.

The results were astounding and they happened very quickly.

Through this journey, I overcame depression, became a better father & husband, transformed my health, fixed all my lifestyle induced ailments, and discovered newfound confidence and purpose. On this newsletter & podcast I share how I did it and provide resources so that you can too.

Why should you subscribe to Year Of The Opposite?

* It’s free and you’ll put a huge smile on my face. :)

* You’ll get practical tips that are simple to improve your life, lose weight, live longer, and be happier.

* I’ll share positive stories about the world that the news/media ignores. “If you pay attention to the news you’d think the world is getting worse. If you study history, you know the world is getting better.”

* If you enjoy it, I hope you’ll support my endeavor by voluntarily becoming a paid subscriber. It means the world to me and it keeps me going.

Travis Stoliker’s Year Of The Opposite Achievements

* Improve my health: After the sale of Liquid Web, my poor lifestyle choices resulted in my health to deteriorate. I vowed to Resolve all my medical conditions in my Year Of The Opposite (YOTO).

* Lost 62lbs (37lbs since start of YOTO) - Updated 9/11/2023

* Got off all medications!

* Cured Hyperlipidemia (high cholesterol)

* Cured Hypertriglyceridemia (high triglycerides)

* Cured Impaired fasting glucose

* Cured Rosacea

* Raise my VO2 Max to Above Average.

* Cut my ASCVD risk of having a heart attack in 10 years from 16% to 2%.

* Mental Clarity & Discipline: After the sale of Liquid Web and a substantial financial windfall, I became undisciplined and neglected my health. I ballooned to nearly 270lbs and acquired a bunch of diseases caused by my lifestyle.

* No Alcohol

* No weed

* No news

* Ignore politics

* Meditate

* Rate my satisfaction with Life, Work, & Family every day

* Keep a daily journal every night.

* Wake up early (Used to sleep in until noon)

* Cured* my grief related depression. (* as much as it can be “cured”)

* Exercise & Challenge my Body: Exercise is the best medicine for physical health, mental health, & longevity in my book. I set out to become a healthy person.

* 14 minutes in 41 degree cold plunge (July 2023)

* I became a runner. I Ran 1,000 miles in 365 days

* Ran a mile in under 7 minutes

* Ran 15 miles nonstop

* Ran 7 miles barefoot

* Run 1 mile backwards

* Compete in competitive races for first time (8K & 5K)

* Learned how to hold my breath for 2:46.

* Swam ~1 mile across a lake

* Regular sauna use

* 5 Pull Ups Unassisted

* 20 mile bike ride

* Repair neglected physical image: After the sale of Liquid Web I adopted a slovenly image refusing to shave, comb my hair, and I regularly wore sweatsuits. In my YOTO, I improved my image.

* Lost 62lbs

* Dress better & do hair.

* Wear a mustache

* Resolved Rosacea

* Take up new hobbies: For most of my life I neglected hobbies and focused too much on work. In my year of the opposite, I changed that.

* Get a concealed carry pistol permit

* Slalom Water Skiing

* Pickleball

* Antiquing

* Golf

* Archery

* Track a deer and recover it.

* Target practice

* Foil surf (still not good!)

* Catch 2 Wall Eye Fish

* Nutrition: My diet was horrendous and I was a very picky eater. I would regularly consume 50oz of soda, ice cream, and beer. In my YOTO, I fixed my diet and broadened my horizons to try any food I was offered. I also had a very low tolerance for spicy food, so I set out to change that.

* No pop (Soda)

* 3 day water only fast

* Eat everything. Tomatoes, Mushrooms, yogurt, etc

* Spice Training - Improve my tolerance of hot spices.

* Completed the Blazin Wing Challenge

* Completed the Hot One Challenge

* Be more social & be more active in community: The only thing I hated more than meetings was “networking”. So in my YOTO, I decided to be more social and active in the community.

* Ride Along with the Lansing Police Department

* Join the Lansing Rotary and become a Rotarian

* Join Ele’s Place Board

* Joined a Monthly CEO Peer Group

* Attended 3-day meditation retreats

* Scheduled meetings every week

* Went to our family cabin more frequently

* Made a rule to “Say YES” to almost all invitations

* Started a Newsletter & Podcast. Write and publish every week.

* Donated thousands of dollars to help the community through my business Saddleback BBQ.

* Provided thousands of Free Meals to students during the pandemic.

* Paid off the student lunch debt and library debt at multiple school districts.

* Help the victims of fires, tornadoes, and floods.

* Rescued local businesses that were in jeopardy of going out of business during the pandemic.

* Spiritual Exploration: I was raised Catholic but became an atheist around the age of 12. As a part of my YOTO I explored religion and began attending church.

* Attended church (almost) weekly

* Read the stoic philosophers.

* Attended a Jewish Synagogue

Before & After Pictures & Videos

Podcasts & Video Interviews

The Year Of The Opposite also contains video & audio interviews with people that I find fascinating. Here are some of the interviews on the podcast.

* The Claude McCollum Wrongful Conviction with Judge Hugh Clarke Jr.

The murder of an LCC professor in 2005 sends the wrong man to jail. The uncaught murderer goes on to kill 5 more while the wrong man is in prison. My interview with Judge Hugh Clarke Jr.

* Podcast Interview with Michelle Rogers - Surviving the Unthinkable: Michelle Rogers on Matthew Terry's Brutality and the Deadly Consequences of His Early Release. My former co-worker, Matthew Terry, stabbed her 7 times yet somehow Michigan let him out of prison after only 3 years. Tragically, within 5 months of his release, he killed his new girlfriend.

Where to find The Year Of The Opposite & How to Subscribe.

* Year of The Opposite Twitter: https://twitter.com/tstoliker

* Year of The Opposite Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/yearoftheopposite

* Year of The Opposite Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Year-Of-The-Opposite

* Year of The Opposite RSS Feed: https://api.substack.com/feed/podcast/1323351.rss

* Year of The Opposite Email: yearoftheopposite@substack.com

* Year of The Opposite on Spotify.

* Year of The Opposite on Apple Podcast.

For months, Chris and I have been dancing for dollars, trying to convince any bank or financial partner to provide us capital so that we could begin acquiring houses. Our financial modeling called for 10 houses this year which would require about $20,000,000. We had countless meetings with potential financial partners and they all started off the same way…

The banks would basically say: “We love the idea and you have a great pitch and financial modeling. This is infinitely financeable because you are offering a personal guarantee and it’s secured by very valuable properties.”

However, the excitement from these first meetings would soon fade. After weeks of providing extensive documentation, we'd either receive a flat "NO" or be ghosted. It was brutal.

It left me with a mixture of emotions. From sadness, to anger, to self-doubt, and guilt. But what I just realized a few days ago was that I was experiencing something I hadn’t encountered in a while: Rejection. It stings.

It’s tempting to blame external factors like the banking crisis, interest rates hitting the highest they have been in decades, and a potential implosion of the commercial office real estate market.

But I’m the founder and CEO. It doesn’t matter what is going on with factors that are outside of my control. The responsibility lands squarely on my shoulders and I accept that responsibility.

I’m constantly questioning myself with unanswerable questions:

* Did I pitch it wrong?

* Should I have pivoted and found a way to scale the company without banks?

* Should I wait it out until the banking crisis hopefully resolves itself in a year?

* Should I talk to a hundred more bankers?

* Am I a quitter and giving up too soon?

* Do all startups experience this many headwinds and I’m throwing in the towel too soon?

Startup founders are told tons of conflicting advice. We are told: “never give up”. But we are also told, "fail fast”.

We are given examples of Jeff Bezos persistence in pitching and hearing NO from 60 different investors before he finally heard a YES that allowed him to start Amazon. Then we are told of the famous pivot where a podcasting company Odeo pivoted and became Twitter.

I’m never sure of which advice to follow. Should I keep going and throw good money after bad? Should I pivot or fail fast?

I don’t know and I may never know.

The future of MyVilla is uncertain but if it fails I will have lost a decent amount of my own money but what is much more troubling to me is that I will have lost one of my best friends some of his hard earned money. That makes me feel terrible.

Of course, Chris has been a mensch about it and his wife Laura has been incredibly understanding. But the bitter feeling of losing a friends money is just awful.

At first I thought my sadness was because of the failure of the business, but I quickly realized it was the uncomfortable feeling of knowing that I let down the people that believed in me. (Of course they would all say I didn’t let them down because they are amazing people. But the feeling is still there.)

Yes, I know that failure is a risk in any new venture. My rational brain can tell myself that - “without risk, there is no reward”. I can reassure myself that this isn’t a failure - it’s just an investment and I gained a lot of knowledge from it. These things are all true.

But this is the difference between reading business books and listening to podcasts about business versus actually starting a business. It’s one thing to read it and know it intellectually in your head. It’s something completely different to feel the stinging pain in the pit of your stomach and the bitter taste on the back of your tongue.

But on a brighter note, last night when I was walking out of Lane’s room after his bedtime book, I saw the picture that hangs on his wall and I stopped to read it again. It’s Teddy Roosevelt’s “Man in the Arena.” It was exactly what I needed to read at that very moment.

Theodore Roosevelt's "The Man in the Arena”

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

I’m not sure what will happen with MyVilla yet. We may be able to pull a rabbit out of the hat and make this thing work. Or it may be headed for the startup graveyard and I will be holding the shovel. But I am glad that I had the courage with my brother, Chris, to dare greatly, risk our capital and our time, to try to build something that we believe in. And I hope that I can dust myself off and try again in the future…

But give me some time, I’m not quite ready to suit up and try a startup again. The rejection still stings!

I want to provide some actionable advice if you find yourself facing a similar setback.

When I was experiencing these negative feelings, there were proactive ways that I could alleviate some of them. Waking up early, exercising, doing cold & hot exposure, getting lots of sleep, eating a good diet, being mindful and grateful, journaling every night, and avoiding the phone before bed and immediately after waking. These are all lessons I learned during my Year Of The Opposite and I’m so thankful for them. Using these tools, I could meaningfully reduce my negative emotions that came along with a startup failure and the sting of rejection.

As the stoic philosophers say: “The body should be treated more rigorously, that it may not be disobedient to the mind” - Seneca.

Disclaimer: This isn’t a woe-is-me article because I have nothing in this world to complain about. I have been blessed and I recognize that I am extremely lucky. This is just my attempt to be open and honest about the feelings I experienced during a tough setback. I share this not because I think that I am special or unique, but rather because I think my story is common to many people but that these feelings are not openly talked about. I hope that others may read this and realize that they are not alone and that maybe my experience can help them navigate their feelings a little easier.

Thanks to all of you that provided support, encouragement, willingness to invest, and eagerness to be a customer. Your support means a lot to me.

As I remember it, my co-worker suggested we walk across campus to explore a new technology developed by PhD researchers, which we believed had potential for commercialization into a product. We strolled through the picturesque MSU campus on a beautiful Michigan summer day, with temperatures around 80 degrees.

Within about 10 minutes of a walking, my sweating started. Sweat was beading up on my face, under my arms, and on top of my head. The sweat was starting to show through my shirt and this caused me to get self conscious that people were looking at me in disgust. The anxiety about my sweating only made matters worse and led to more sweating. A problem that seemed to compound on itself.

This was around the time when I was my most overweight. I was about 262 lbs and I was extremely out of shape. As evidenced by the fact that a simple walk in 80 degree heat made me sweat so badly I almost soaked through my shirt. It was horribly embarrassing. I kept wondering what my co-workers were thinking. I’m sure they didn’t care but I was pretty disgusted with myself. Not that I was ashamed of my weight. It was that I was ashamed of how badly I had treated my body.

Simple tasks left me drained. In a warm room, I'd sweat profusely. I knew I had to change, but I didn’t have the discipline or will power to do it. What was even more frustrating was that I knew exactly what I needed to do! It wasn’t complicated.

Move more, eat less/better, and drink fewer of my calories. It wasn’t rocket science. But I just couldn’t do it. At that time, I literally couldn’t run around my small neighborhood block without stopping. I was in the worst shape of my life.

Today, as I write this at 42 years old, I can pretty confidently say that I’m in the best shape of my life. I can run further, lift heavier weights, and my cardio fitness is the highest I’ve ever recorded.

Over the last week, I celebrated two significant milestones in my running journey. Firstly, I completed 1,003 miles in 365 days. Secondly, I broke the 7-minute mile mark, finishing a mile in 6:58.

What makes these achievements even more special to me is that I capped off the 1,000 miles with a half marathon, recording my third-best time for the distance. Moreover, my sub-7-minute mile wasn't just a standalone sprint; it was part of a 5k run.

As I’ve stated before, my goal is simple: To live a long time and die quickly. Improving my cardio fitness and increasing my strength are two of the most critical components of achieving that mission.

How did I do it? By adopting the identity of someone that could do it.

The book Atomic Habit talks about having an “Identity Shift”. Instead of starting with a goal in mind, for example, the goal to run 1,000 miles in 365 days, which can seem like an impossible task and a monumental undertaking, you want to adopt the behaviors and habits that align with that goal. “We are what we repeatedly do.”

I did not start out with the goal to run 1,000 miles in a year or complete a mile in under 7 minutes. That would have scared the s**t out of me. Instead, I adopted the identity of someone that could do it. I wasn’t “trying to run 1,000 miles in a year”, I simply adopted the identity: I am a runner!

It can seem like a semantic game I’m playing. But it is actually very powerful. Think about what a runner does… They set aside time for running, they have running shoes, they put on their shoes, and most importantly - they run. But it goes deeper than that. Runners that plan to go on a run in the morning probably don’t get s**t faced the night before. They probably eat healthy. They eat a lot of protein. They take care of their knees.

This is the identity of a runner. All of those things are much easier to do everyday than running 1,000 miles in a year. These are habits that you can form. And guess what, all of those habits when put together end up leading you to run 1,000 miles in a year!

The identity shift is so important. It also helped in my journey to escape alcohol. Think about this example.

In a social situation, when offered a drink at a party, if you were to say "I can't drink tonight," or “I’m not drinking for October”, your friends might respond with a bit of friendly peer pressure to try to entice you to have just one drink. But what if instead you said: "I don't drink." The latter is a statement of identity, which is more powerful and less likely to be met with peer pressure. You have adopted the identity of someone that doesn’t drink.

But back to my original story about the walk across MSU campus. When I was out of shape, I was constantly hot and sweat all the time. Today, it’s more likely that I am comfortable or cold. My body heat regulation problem is completely solved and I have a lot less anxiety about it. Now I’m more likely to pack a sweat shirt than 5 extra undershirts to absorb all the excess sweat. This has made me a lot less anxious in social situations.

I want to thank each and every one of you for reading this and supporting my journey. Please remember that you can respond to this email and it goes directly to me and I read and reply to every single email. Also know that you can comment below.

If you found this interesting, I would really appreciate if you would share it with a friend and or become a paid subscriber if you haven’t already done so. It means the world to me and it inspires me to keep writing and sharing this journey.

Honestly, Thank You!

It hit me hard today.

Lane handled this new adventure like a champion. He jumped on the bus eagerly and said his daily mantra to the bus driver: “My name’s Lane and I’m happy to be here!” The handoff went so well that I didn't cry when the bus picked him up and I thought the moment had passed without me getting emotional.

But later that morning, as I went on a run with my friend Jonah, the weight of the moment finally caught up with me. After our run, we sat on our patio overlooking the lake, talking about our philosophies on life, our insecurities, and our goals. It was a beautiful moment.

Jonah is a filmmaker and he mentioned that he had just completed a film that he wanted to share with me. We sat on the patio in the rain watching the film on his iPhone as he wiped away the raindrops that were accumulating on the tiny screen.

The film was incredible. It’s a powerful and beautiful piece about his own childhood, a nostalgic journey back to the days of innocence and wonder. To me, the film was about a young man appreciating all the steps that got him to where he is today.

As I watched, I couldn't help but notice the uncanny resemblance between young Jonah and Lane. The same spark in their eyes, the same mischievous grin.

Tears welled up as I thought of Lane growing up, of the inevitable distance that time brings. I thought of all the moments I might miss, all the memories yet to be made. I just wanted to freeze time and not have him grow up or leave me ever again.

But I was reminded, "Life is a shipwreck," said Voltaire, "but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats." And in that moment, I realized that being a father is not about holding on, but about letting go. It's about cherishing every moment, every laugh, every tear, and trusting that the love we've instilled in our children will guide them through the storms of life. And that hopefully, that love will lead them back to us.

Today, I made a silent promise to myself and to Lane. I vowed to be present, to celebrate the small moments, and to always remember that while the days may be long, the years are indeed short. For in the end, it's not the milestones that matter, but the journey we take together.

Today I share with you this amazing film from my friend Jonah Brown. He’s a filmmaker, a Spartan, and someone I’m proud to know. He is doing amazing things in this life and I’m certain he will do many more.

Enjoy… But get a box of tissues.

Edward Lowe invented Kitty Litter right here in Michigan. He literally and figuratively was responsible for bringing the cat indoors. Not only did he create a new product that solved a real problem, he invented a new industry worth billions today. He eventually sold his company for ~$200 million which is nearly $500 million today.

Mr. Lowe grew up so poor his family burned corn cobs for heat and had no indoor toilet. But after the sale, me spent lavishly, acquiring 22 homes, a 72-foot yacht, a stable of quarter horses, a private railroad and an entire Michigan town.

Mr. Lowe was a serial entrepreneur who secured 32 patents, 115 trademarks and 36 copyrights. But it was one of his last inventions, the Edward Lowe Foundation, that had a huge impact on my life.

During his lifetime, Mr. Lowe noticed that there was ample support available for startup companies, as well as a wealth of resources for large, established corporations. However, he identified a significant gap in resources for what are now referred to as "Second Stage Entrepreneurs." These are companies that have successfully navigated the startup phase and possess both the capability and desire to continue growing. Typically, Second Stage companies employ between 10 and 99 people and generate annual revenues ranging from $1 million to $50 million.

Importantly, Second Stage Entrepreneurs play a crucial role in job creation. For example, between 2005 and 2015, while second-stage companies made up only 17 percent of all U.S. businesses, they were responsible for generating over 37 percent of jobs and 36 percent of sales.

The Edward Lowe Foundation was established in 1985 dedicated to two primary missions.

* Supporting Entrepreneurship: The foundation aims to foster entrepreneurship by providing resources, education, and support to entrepreneurs, particularly those in the second-stage of business development. The foundation recognizes the importance of these businesses in driving economic growth and job creation.

* Land Stewardship: The foundation is also dedicated to land stewardship and conservation. Edward Lowe and his wife, Darlene, were passionate about preserving natural habitats and wildlife. The foundation manages the land that was once the Lowes' residence, known as Big Rock Valley, as a natural preserve and uses it as a venue for leadership retreats and educational programs.

Big Rock Valley (BRV), the Edward Lowe Foundation's property near Cassopolis, Michigan, spans over 2,000 acres and is some of the most beautiful property I have ever seen. The property features diverse ecosystems, including wetlands, forests, prairies, and lakes, which support a rich array of plant and animal life. With its unique architectural elements and recreational opportunities, BRV offers a remarkable blend of natural splendor and conservation efforts.

I am connected to the Edward Lowe Foundation in a couple ways. The first is that my wife Laken works there. Second is that I am a Second Stage Entrepreneur myself.

Michigan Celebrates Small Business (MCSB) is the most prestigious small business awards program in the state of Michigan. The “50 Companies To Watch” award recognizes that 50 up and coming businesses in Michigan. I have been blessed to win this award twice. Once in 2005 with Liquid Web and again in 2023 with Saddleback BBQ. Winning this award granted me the great privilege to be invited to spend 3 days learning and growing at the Edward Lowe Foundation property.

I’m embarrassed to admit that when we were invited in 2005 my exact words were “I’m not going to that hippy dippy s**t”. Wow, was I wrong. I’m so disappointed in myself that I didn’t avail myself of the opportunity to attend the retreat in 2005.

However, I was fortunate enough to be reinvited when in 2018 Saddleback BBQ won the Small Business Development Center award for Small Business of the year. But, once again, I was an idiot and refused the invitation!

But it was the Year Of The Opposite, and my wife Laken, that helped me smarten up and finally visit the property. After Joe died in February, I was struggling with my depression and I was willing to try anything. This is when I started the Year Of The Opposite and one of the things I tried to do was say YES to everything that I had said NO to before.

Fortunately for me, there was a cancellation and I was invited to go to the foundation for the Entrepreneur In Residence program. It is not an exaggeration to say it was a life changing experience. It was the first time in a decade that I completely turned off all social media, I didn’t check email, I turned off my cell phone, I didn’t answer any phone calls or text messages. I went to the property and I was truly present. I meditated for the first time. I explored the wilderness for hours and hours.

I want to share two experiences that deeply moved me.

* Ed’s Cabin is a beautiful house that overlooks 3 gorgeous ponds. Somehow I was fortunate enough to be housed in this beautiful home by myself for 3 days. I remember sitting in a rocking chair for 3 hours meditating and staring out at the ponds. It was my first time ever meditating and it was incredible.

* I’ve been an atheist for most of my life, but I was raised catholic. Ed was a catholic and the foundation features the most incredible and exquisite metal sculptures and recreation of the Stations Of The Cross showing Jesus’s last day and his subsequent resurrection. At the end of the stations of the cross is where Mr. Lowe is buried. Walking the stations and sitting in Mr. Lowe’s tomb was enough to make this atheist start attending church again. It was incredibly powerful.

So after turning down invitations to the foundation multiple times between 2005 and 2021, I have now become a “frequent flier.” In less than 2 years I have been fortunate enough to attend 7 different events on the beautiful grounds and I anxiously await my next opportunity to visit.

If you yourself are invited to go, I encourage you, no, I plead with you to be smarter than I was and take the time away from your company to go. I guarantee you it will be worth it.

Following my 6th visit, I was inspired to write Darlene Lowe the following letter that I think encapsulates what the Edward Lowe Foundation means to me.

My Letter to Darlene Lowe thanking her for the Edward Lowe Foundation.

Dear Mrs. Lowe,

I wanted to take a brief moment to thank you and Mr. Lowe. I didn’t know what “Legacy” meant until I visited the Edward Lowe Foundation.

I am now leaving the Edward Lowe Foundation for my second Entrepreneur In Residence program and I have now visited the property six times in less than two years. I can confidently say, I am eager to return again anytime I am offered the opportunity.

When I first visited the Edward Lowe Foundation, it was during a time of deep personal hardship. I had recently lost three of my friends, all passing away tragically young between the ages of 41 and 45, and I found myself grappling with depression for the first time. My life was at a low point. It was during this difficult period that I visited the Edward Lowe Foundation. It offered a beacon of hope and positivity. Its profound influence on me helped to alleviate some of my depression, bolstered my business, and set me on a transformative journey towards better health and well-being. Influenced by my time at ELF, I've managed to lose 40 pounds, rectify my high blood pressure, resolve my high triglyceride levels, and get my high cholesterol under control.

During my inaugural visit, I had the privilege of staying in the cabin that you and Mr. Lowe so warmly offer to guests. Within the comforting confines of this cabin, I found solace in a delicate rocking chair, where I spent three uninterrupted hours in meditative contemplation, all the while observing the abundant wildlife right outside the window. This tranquil interlude remains one of the most profound and moving experiences of my life. My exploration didn't stop within the cabin's walls; I had the opportunity to walk the breadth of your stunning property. I devoted hours to discover the natural wonders so meticulously preserved and graciously shared by you and Mr. Lowe, immersing myself in the serene beauty that your efforts have nurtured.

Mrs. Lowe, your remarkable taste for design and aesthetics leaves an indelible impression. With each visit, whether I stay in any of the meticulously appointed buildings or stroll through the exquisitely landscaped grounds, I am left utterly spellbound. From your carefully chosen books to the evocatively hung pictures, the seamless flow of the rooms, and the thoughtfully incorporated relics of American industrial history, your attention to detail reaches perfection.

For the longest time, I thought that the idea of having a legacy was a pointless endeavor that only served to fulfill one’s ego. You and Mr. Lowe have shown me that I was completely wrong. More than two decades after Mr. Lowe‘s passing, I can positively and undeniably guarantee that you and Mr. Lowe have a legacy that has positively impacted many lives. I didn’t know what “Legacy” meant until I visited the Edward Lowe Foundation.

Every single entrepreneur that I meet on one of these retreats shares with me stories of how the Edward Lowe Foundation has had a tremendously positive impact on their life in very personal and spiritual ways. We truly think of the Edward Lowe Foundation, its staff, the grounds, the other entrepreneurs that we meet here, and you and Mr. Lowe – as Family.

The stories that are shared between the entrepreneurs at these retreats are some of the most powerful and moving stories that I have ever heard in my life, and they are deeply deeply personal. They are the kind of stories that someone would only reluctantly even share with their own priest. But somehow the environment that you have created with Mr. Lowe gives us the comfort and security and safety to feel truly vulnerable and share in ways that we would never share outside of this place.

Your staff and your family are truly one of a kind. I cannot say enough positive things about Dan Wyant. I have been so fortunate to get to know him through my experiences at the Edward Lowe Foundation, where he has taught me about the conservation efforts, told me the history and stories about Mr. Lowe and yourself, but also I have had the great pleasure of getting to know him on a personal level. I am truly in awe of Dan. But it doesn’t just stop there from Colleen, Rhonda, Dino, Rita, Robin, Jose, and every single other person that I have met through the Edward Lowe Foundation has been one-of-a-kind.

My family feels so fortunate to have met you through my time as an entrepreneur at the Edward Lowe Foundation but also through Laken‘s employment with this incredible foundation. I just wanted to take a moment to tell you how incredibly grateful I am to you and to Mr. Lowe. You truly have a legacy and you have impacted me and many others, in profoundly positive ways that I cannot even begin to express adequately.

Thank you,

Travis Stoliker

On Mr. Lowe’s Headstone it reads: “He lived his life for America. Hail Entrepreneur!” I think it is just perfect. Just perfect.

Thank you, Mr. Lowe.

What I found particularly striking about "Meditations" is that it was never intended for public consumption; it was a deeply personal journal, a dialogue between Marcus and his inner self. The first section of this book resonates with me profoundly, as Marcus took the time to express gratitude and acknowledge the individuals who shaped his life. Inspired by this, I've embarked on a similar journey, penning my own "Debts and Lessons" to honor those who have influenced and guided me.

Please know that this is not an exhaustive list of all of the people that have influenced me. This was just my first list and in no particular order. If you are not included on this list, it is likely because you will be included on the next list. It in no way diminishes the important role you have had in my life.

Debts and Lessons: Travis Stoliker

Love:

* Laken Stoliker (Wife): Laken, the love of my life, completes me in every sense. Her kindness and dedication to connecting with family are unparalleled. She challenges my certainties, making me introspect and grow. As an incredible mother and provider, she's the cornerstone of our family. Knowing her has made me a better man, and I often find myself wishing I'd heed her wisdom even more.

* Lane Stoliker (Son): I have never loved anything as much as I love and cherish you. From you I have learned a deeper understanding and appreciation for the many sacrifices that my mother and father made for me and my brother. From you I have learned the importance of patience and understanding. You have given me the greatest joy of my life, being your father.

Family:

* Dorothy Sweeney (Grandmother): Grandma Sweeney is the heart of our family, connecting us all at the Cabin on Peach Lake. Every handwritten note she penned for my birthdays was a testament to her love and thoughtfulness. The memories forged on Peach Lake remain the most cherished of my childhood. The weeks spent on the farm with her and Larry were not just fun but also lessons in hard work and understanding the origins of our sustenance.

* Mike Brady (Grandfather): Grandpa Mike Brady stands as a paragon of virtue in my life. The simple joys of helping him mow the lawn or polish the floors in his high-rise building are memories I hold dear. As he spent his twilight years with my family, our bond deepened. His stories, rarely shared with others, became treasures he confided in me, making me feel truly special. His love and trust have left an indelible mark on my heart.

* Bobby Ray (Grandmother-in-Law): Bobby's perpetual positivity and class have always drawn me to her. Her excitement to see her family and her ever-present happiness make her one of my favorite people in the world.

* Mary Jo Stoliker (Mother): From my mother, I learned the invaluable lesson of cherishing time with family. She instilled in me the importance of creating memories and the joy of travel. Through her, I understood that life's moments are fleeting, and it's essential to make the most of them with those we love. If I ever needed anything, I know my mother would be there for me and I feel so lucky for that.

* Tom Stoliker (Father): My father exemplifies the essence of hard work. Observing him, I often found myself in awe of his laid-back nature, a quality I've come to admire and aspire to. More than anything, he taught me that dedicating one's life to family is of paramount importance. His commitment and love for us have been unwavering, showing me the depth of familial bonds.

* Steven Stoliker (Brother): My brother, with his infectious humor, has always been a beacon of light in my life. His easy-going nature and ability to connect with everyone are traits I deeply admire. Beyond his sociable nature, he possesses a unique talent: the skill to craft and create with his hands, especially with sheet metal. His blend of humor and craftsmanship serves as a reminder that we can find joy in both our interactions and our creations.

* Dawn Blakslee (Mother-in-Law): Dawn is the bedrock of her family, always supporting and standing by their side. Her unwavering support for her family's businesses and her readiness to help anyone in need showcases her dedication and love.

Friends:

* Chris Strandt: Chris is one of the smartest people I have ever met. From him I have learned the power of asking questions and being genuinely curious about the world. Chris has inspired me to travel more and he has served as a role model for me as a father.

* Ryan Cook: My oldest and dearest friend. Ryan's genuine kindness and unwavering loyalty have been constants in my life. He's been a part of most of my cherished memories, and his recommendations for movies and TV shows have never steered me wrong. His presence in my life has been a source of joy and trust.

* Ben Wahl: Ben's genuine care for others shines brightly in all he does. He's my go-to for career advice and has been the linchpin in connecting our group of friends, from initiating weekly Zoom calls during the pandemic to founding our cherished annual tradition, the Summer Throwdown. His dedication as a father and husband is admirable, and his strength in facing the profound loss of a child has taught me about the depths of faith and resilience.

* Mike Laur: Mike's exceptional memory and genuine kindness make him one of my closest and most cherished friends. Our deep conversations, interspersed with light-hearted banter, have been a constant source of joy.

* Stefan Nava: Stefan's dynamic approach to life, from mastering multiple languages to experiencing diverse cultures, is truly inspiring. His success in various ventures, from restaurants to real estate, coupled with his kindness, makes him a role model.

* Matt Tubergen: Matt's humility and kindness, despite his numerous accomplishments, are a lesson in grace and modesty.

* Paul Cole: Paul's infectious laughter and penchant for humor, especially his mom jokes, have taught me the value of not taking life too seriously and finding joy in every moment.

* Sarah Cook: From Sarah, I've come to truly understand the essence of friendship and the invaluable role of a connector. She consistently places the needs and happiness of family and friends above her own, embodying selflessness in its purest form. Sarah's efforts in bringing together groups of friends are not just acts but a testament to her dedication to fostering bonds. Her vibrant presence always adds joy to any gathering. Her deep respect and honor for her parents, especially the remarkable way she celebrated her father during the golf outing, is a testament to her character. In her actions and values, she beautifully carries forward her father's legacy, reminding all of us of the enduring impact of love and memories.

* Bil Moore: Bil stands as a beacon of fitness inspiration. His ability to voice disagreements without causing discord is a trait I deeply respect.

* Greg Farhat: Greg's relentless pursuit of self-improvement and boundary-pushing inspires me. He's a trusted confidant, always ready to offer advice and support.

* Jenn Middlin: Jenn's insatiable thirst for knowledge and her adventurous spirit in trying new things have always impressed me. Her influence played a pivotal role in my journey at TechSmith, and she's been a guiding light in my understanding of marketing.

* John Douglas: John's courage in expressing his feelings, even when they're controversial, and his openness to my ideas, challenging the not-so-great ones, have enriched our friendship.

* Mark Szymczak: Mark's passion-driven approach to life, from technology to beekeeping, from real estate to being an incredible chef, all showcases his commitment to lifelong learning and exploration.

* Oshan Weerasinghe: Oshan's brilliance and unwavering positivity serve as a constant motivator. His zest for life pushes me to achieve more and reminds me of the power of a positive outlook.

Spiritual Guidance:

* Marvin Williams (Pastor): Marvin's oratory skills are unparalleled, but it's his light and guidance during my challenging times that I cherish the most. He uplifted me when I felt low, making me feel valued and special.

Business:

* Matt Gillett (Business Partner): Matt's humor and work ethic are unmatched. His belief in himself and his friends, especially during challenging times, is a testament to his character. His diverse interests, from hunting to raising chickens, highlight his ability to master anything he sets his mind to.

* Bill Hamilton: Bill, the founder of TechSmith, was not just a boss but a mentor who profoundly influenced my personal and professional trajectory. He ignited in me a passion for reading, introducing me to a world of knowledge and perspectives I hadn't previously explored. The library he provided to his employees was a testament to his commitment to continuous learning. One book, in particular, "The Tipping Point," stands out as the catalyst that transformed reading from a chore to a cherished hobby. Beyond fostering intellectual growth, Bill also recognized the importance of formal education. He not only encouraged me to complete my bachelor's degree but also provided tuition reimbursement at TechSmith and financially supported my academic journey. His belief in me and his commitment to personal development have left a permanent mark on my life.

For nearly a decade, Matthew Terry and I were colleagues at Liquid Web. After the company was sold in 2015, I chose to pursue other opportunities, while Matthew continued his tenure there. During this period, he crossed paths with Michelle Rogers, and they soon embarked on a romantic relationship. By 2016, they welcomed a child into their lives.

However, their story took a dark turn on St. Patrick's Day of 2017. In a horrifying incident, Matthew assaulted Michelle in their shared home, with their newborn present. He inflicted seven stab wounds on her, targeting her throat and upper body, and even bit her face. The brutal attack left Michelle so severely injured that her vision was obscured by the blood filling her contact lenses.

Against all odds, Michelle survived this terrifying ordeal, but her nightmare was far from over. Matthew was sentenced to a mere three years in prison for his heinous act. Michelle made desperate appeals to the parole board, the judge, and the prosecutors, imploring them not to release Matthew. She warned them, and anyone who would listen, that if he were set free, he would undoubtedly harm someone else.

In a proactive move, Michelle even reached out to Kay Baker, Matthew's new girlfriend, cautioning her that she could be his next victim. Despite Michelle's dire warnings, Matthew relocated to Florida to live with Kay and her two children after his release.

Tragically, within five months of his parole, Matthew murdered Kay, nearly decapitating her and stabbing her multiple times. Michelle's chilling prediction had come true with horrifying precision.

Today, I have the opportunity to speak with Michelle Rogers, giving her a platform to share her harrowing story.

For the full interview, please click Play above. Or listen/subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcast.  

Apple Podcast: 

For your convenience, I have also provided clips below if you would like to jump to specific topics or sections.

Topics Discussed Include:

* "What did you do after selling Liquid Web for $224,000,000?"

* "Do you lose friends when you stop drinking? What has the reaction been to living a Year Of The Opposite?"

* "What is Liquid Web and how did you market it to get to $80,000,000 in Annual Recurring Revenue?"

* "What is MyVilla?"

* "Why does Saddleback do so much giving and charity?"

* "How do you start to love running? How did Matt Hill’s tragic death inspire your love of running?"

* "The paradox of giving: People want to support businesses that do good in the community, but some people also think it’s gross to talk about charity and giving. Why does Saddleback talk about their charity so much? Isn’t that gross?"

* "What is your secret to marketing Liquid Web and Saddleback BBQ?"

* "Why I love the book Atomic Habit."

* "What is The Year Of The Opposite?"

Topics / Sections:

* What did you do after selling Liquid Web for $224,000,000?

* Do you lose friends when you stop drinking? What has the reaction been to living a Year Of The Opposite?

* What is Liquid Web and how did you market it to get to $80,000,000 in Annual Recurring Revenue?

* What is MyVilla?

* Why does Saddleback do so much giving and charity?

* How do you start to love running? How did Matt Hill dying inspire your love of running?

* The paradox of giving. People want to support businesses that do good in the community. But some people also think it’s gross to talk about charity and giving. Why does Saddleback talk about their charity so much? Isn’t that gross?

* What is your secret to marketing Liquid Web and Saddleback BBQ?

* Why I love the book Atomic Habit.

* What is The Year Of The Opposite?

Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

In 2017 my good friend Dean Miesner took down (almost) the Blazin’ Wing Challenge by eating 12 of BW3's hottest Blazin’ wings in 6 minutes without puking. I touched one of the wings to my tongue and was in agony for 2 hours. I was astonished watching Dean and his friend pull this off. Check out the video of it here.

Year Of The Opposite is about challenging myself to do new things. So last year I decided that I was going to start what I called “spice training” so that I could beat the Blazin Wing Challenge too. And by January of 2023, I did it! I successfully completed the Blazin Wing Challenge with Drew Piotrowski and Matt Gillett there to witness the disgusting display.

Recently my good friend and business partner in MyVilla, Chris Strandt, surprised me by purchasing The Hot Ones Challenge Set from Season 21. To give you a comparison, Blazin Wing sauce ranks in at 350,000 Scoville and the Last Dab which is the last sauce in the Hot Ones Challenge is a ridiculous 2,000,000!

This week, I passed the Hot Ones Challenge and ate all 10 sauces!

I filmed this extravaganza so that my grandkids, and their grandkids (who will probably be living on Mars) can see their ol' grandpa punish himself. Maybe they'll feel inspired, or maybe they'll just laugh at me breaking out into a hiccup fit. Either way, it's one for the history books... or at least the Stoliker family blooper reel!

Spice Training

It’s really amazing at how fast your tolerance of spicy foods can improve. It only took about 3 months and I went from not being able to tolerate 20,000 Scoville heat to over 350,000. I wish I could say that I had a complicated strategy for how I did it. The reality is, I just ate hot foods often. That’s it. I would eat Jalapenos as snacks. I would buy 10 or so at a time and eat them on car rides. I would get the Blazin Chili from Mayfair Bar regularly. Anytime someone had something hot on the menu, I would try it. That’s it. If you’d like to increase your tolerance for hot foods, it’s really easy. Just eat lots of hot foods.

I’d love to know what you think of this video. It took a lot of time to edit so any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Let me clear it up right now: Matt Hill died from an 80% blockage in his left anterior descending coronary artery. This is also known as a Widow Maker Heart Attack. This is the "Cause A" on his official autopsy that we waited over 5 months to receive. There was no cause B, C, or D. In addition to that, he had no illegal drugs in his system. This is from his official toxicology report. On the anniversary of his death, I simply ask that we lay to rest the incorrect rumors about his death. The passing of Matt, only five months after the devastating loss of Joe St. Clair, and then a mere ten days later, the tragic death of Tyler, plunged me into my first encounter with depression. It was very tough. But I'm fortunate because the experience also led me to reclaiming my health and becoming a better father and husband. I'm now sharing my experience on my Substack for two reasons. 1. Because writing about things that hurt us helps us heal and recover from them. 2. I hope that my story can help others that wish to improve their lives or recover from depression. I miss Matt everyday. But the sadness has been replaced by an appreciation for the time that we had together and the amazing truly incredible things that he accomplished. He was a larger than life personality. Matt's death was the force that helped push me to start the year of the opposite. When I swam across the lake for the first time I remember climbing onto Matt Gillett's back porch waiting for him to be able to drive me back to my house. As I sat there I felt the grief from Matt's death wash over me and I knew that I was going to begin to cry. I didn't want Gillet's children to see me cry but I was feeling a bit trapped because I didn't have shoes since I had just completed a swim. I thought back to growing up with Matt in the Huntley Square neighborhood. In the summer, Matt Hill rarely wore shoes. His feet were like stones. Even when we would play hockey on the concrete, Matt would be shoeless. His feet getting frequently hit by hockey sticks didn't seem to bother him. So I decided that I would run the 2 miles home to my house barefoot while softly crying for the loss of my brother. It was painful but cathartic. It was one of the most profound experiences with grief that I have ever felt. That experience is what started my love for running. He didn't know it, but Matt was giving me another gift even after his passing. The gift of a love for running. Thank you again Matt.

Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

The Chicago River runs right through the heart of Chicago and connects with beautiful Lake Michigan. It was customary at the time to use rivers as a dumpster or sewer. Chicago was no different. Businesses would throw their waste into the river, butchers would throw carcasses into the river, medical waste would be dumped into it, and of course - lots of human waste would be dumped in as well.

All of that waste would flow down the river and out into Lake Michigan. The problem was, that’s exactly where Chicago got their drinking water! It took a while to figure out, but they finally woke up to the fact that they were literally pooping and peeing into their own water faucet and drinking it. Gross.

So, as you would suspect, they needed to fix this problem quickly. They were now aware that their own activity of polluting the river was literally causing their friends and family to get sick and die.

But, they came up with a plan to fix it! I know what you’re thinking: Just stop polluting the river and dispose of your waste properly. Easy fix! Nope, instead, they decided to undertake one of the largest civil engineering projects of all time. They decided to keep polluting the river, but reroute the river to flow backwards. This way they could send all their waste to St. Louis instead of to Lake Michigan where they get their drinking water.

It’s hard to get exact numbers on how much this project cost and how long it took. But everyone agrees it took over a decade and millions and millions of dollars. Probably billions of dollars when adjusted for inflation.

It’s such an amazing story. They literally rerouted a river to make it flow backwards to send their poop to another unsuspecting city.

I was thinking about another story that has similar attributes.

American car companies were notorious for prioritizing the relentless momentum of their production lines. The speed of the assembly line effectively dictated the daily production output of the plant and, by extension, the company. Employees were discouraged from halting the line; the prevailing notion was that defects could be addressed later, maintaining the continuous operation of the line for the sake of high production figures. The focus was on producing and selling as many cars as possible, even at the risk of allowing imperfections in the product.

This inevitably led to a decline in quality of American cars which then led to a decline in customer satisfaction and ultimately a decline in sales. Consumers grew tired of purchasing low-quality cars.

Japan on the other hand developed Jidoka. Jidoka is automation with human intelligence. Jidoka is a principle implemented in lean manufacturing where machines automatically stop working upon detecting an abnormal condition and operators try fixing the defect to prevent recurrence of the issue.

The Japanese auto manufacturers even went so far as to put big red buttons inside their production plants and encouraged, actually demanded, that their employees stop the line if they discovered a defect or a quality issue at any point in the process.

In the short run, stopping the line would be terrible for production numbers. Stopping the line would mean that all the workers would sit idle without work to do. A huge cost in lost productivity. The immediate benefit of course was that the car would be better. It would have fewer defects and quality issues. But there was also a deeper cultural change at the company. Every employee knew that they were empowered to make sure the product was perfect. They knew that the company was focused on quality.

The improvement in quality was noticed by the consumer and Japanese auto sales skyrocketed. Of course, now all the American car companies have largely learned these lessons too and their quality has improved significantly.

These two stories reminded me of my own errors with managing my own health.

Chicago was getting sick because they were polluting their own drinking water. But instead of just stopping polluting - they rerouted an entire f’ing river!

American car companies were producing cars that were unreliable and low quality - but instead of fixing the problem - they just sent it down the line, compounding problems on problems, until they shipped the product to an unsuspecting customer for them to deal with. It kept their sales numbers high in the short term, but it devastated them in the long run as customers no longer trusted them to make quality cars.

In both of these cases, problems were solved in the short term. But the supposed solutions actually made the problem worse in the long run. Instead of focusing on the root cause or first principles thinking, only a surface level bandaid was put on the problem.

I realized recently, this is how I was treating my health in the past.

* If I had a bad day at work, I’d come home and have a beer.

* I had high blood pressure, so I took a pill.

* I had trouble sleeping, so I’d take Advil PM.

* I had a little sadness, I’d smoke a joint.

* I felt lazy or tired, I’d take it easy and lay on the couch.

* If I was sore from working outside, I’d take Ibuprofen.

All of those activities would make me feel a little better in the short run. But they didn’t fix anything in the long run. In almost all cases, they actually made things worse. If I would have instead focused on eating good healthy food, getting 8 hours of sleep, going to bed and waking at the same time everyday, getting my heart rate up and working out, challenging myself with cold and hot temperatures, and stopping medicating myself - I would fundamentally address the root causes of my problems.

It’s been 479 days since I started focusing on the root causes of my health problems and it has already corrected 14,965 days of damage that I caused by ignoring them.

Now, when I have a rough day I ask myself: Did I workout? Did I eat healthy? How did I sleep last night? Was I a good father? Was I a good husband? Did I make the bed? In almost all cases, if I’m having a rough day, it’s because I didn’t do one of the things that I know I should have done. It’s because I didn’t focus on the root cause of my issues.

Now, as I have said many times before, I think modern medicine is amazing! But I also think, they should be a last resort after you have your root causes in order.

I guess this is all to say: First, make sure you stop pooping into your own drinking water before you reroute the entire f’ing river.

This jealousy isn't just a negative emotion; it also brings with it feelings of ingratitude and shame. After all, I have much to be grateful for—everything my younger self dreamed of having is now a part of my reality. It's a sobering thought that others may look at my life with the same bit of jealousy with which I view theirs. This realization makes my own envy seem not just silly, but incredibly ironic.

I grapple with this bitterness actively, fully aware of how it can distort my relationships and impede my personal growth. Despite me actively knowing that this is a damaging character flaw that I possess, the seed of envy takes root, prompting me to belittle their accomplishments in my head —"Oh, they had rich parents," "They received a government handout," or "They're sinking themselves into debt." I detest when I have this train of thought. But I must confess it’s there.

This jealousy, I've realized, is a manifestation of the 'grass is always greener on the other side' perspective. A notion that someone else's success, accomplishments, or life is more desirable than my own. The advent of social media only fuels this feeling, as I get glimpses into others' lives, which often appear impeccably curated and overwhelmingly successful.

These snapshots, however, only reveal the surface, the lush green grass viewed from afar. They don't reveal the struggles, the doubts, the hardships that lie beneath. It's easy to forget this reality, to get lost in the comparison game, and lose sight of the fact that what I'm seeing isn't the complete picture.

That's when I decided to shift my perspective from: “The grass is greener on the other side”, to "the grass is always greener where you water it." It's about focusing on nourishing my own life, my relationships, my goals, my passions, rather than constantly comparing myself with others.

Rather than letting myself be swayed by the carefully presented highlight reels on social media, I decided to concentrate on my path, my journey, recognizing that just like everyone else, I too have my struggles hidden beneath my 'green grass.' It's this understanding that has helped me turn my attention inwards, to nurture my own life and to celebrate my own accomplishments, however big or small.

In the words of the Stoic philosopher, Marcus Aurelius, “Don’t set your mind on things you don’t possess…but count the blessings you actually possess and think how much you would desire them if they weren’t already yours.” This quote resonates deeply with me, reminding me to cherish what I have and to appreciate the unique path I am on.

Life's abundance is often right here, within my reach, not necessarily out there. By 'watering my own grass', by devoting my time, energy, and effort into my own growth, I can create a more vibrant and fulfilling life.

The shift in perspective doesn't erase my feelings of jealousy, but it equips me to confront them. It helps me remember that I hold the power to cultivate abundance and satisfaction in my life. Rather than yearning for the greener grass on the other side, I've chosen to invest in watering my own.

It's a constant battle, but it’s one worth fighting. My own grass's beauty isn't diminished by the success of others; rather, it can be invigorated by it, turning their accomplishments into a source of inspiration, not envy. As my grass gets greener, the appeal of the other side fades. After all, the most fulfilling sight is of a lawn I've tendered and nurtured myself, a testament to my effort and dedication.

PS: Oh, and just so you know, it’s basically a drought in Michigan so the actual grass in my lawn is brown. I should probably water it. 😂

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I wasn’t intentionally telling a lie. I genuinely and completely thought I was telling the truth. But when I set out to write last weeks post How I Cured My Depression I started revisiting my nightly journals to verify the events from my memory. While I was doing this I discovered that my memory of the timeline of events was incredibly wrong.

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I’m not sure how it happened, but my memory of the timeline of events had gotten completely distorted. Here are some examples. I thought that my 3 friends all died within the matter of a couple months, it was actually closer to 5 months. I thought I had started seeing a therapist in July, but it was actually in April. I thought that my depression symptoms were resolved in a month, but it was actually closer to 6 or 7 months.

My memory of important details of the recent past was so filled with errors that I was stunned. I started feeling guilty that I had lied to people, even my closest friends, about the details of these events. To be clear, my post last week was as accurate as I could make it, it was the verbal story that I had told to others that had errors.

I was very fortunate that I have been journaling my thoughts and feelings daily for quite a while now, so I was able to check my fragile memory against a detailed journal of events that I wrote at the time. I was simply stunned at how many facts I had wrong.

This realisation got me thinking about a lot of things.

* How do our brains recall memories? Do we remember facts, or do we remember stories?

* How do the stories that we tell ourselves and others impact our memories over time?

* If my memory was so wrong about important facts from a year or two ago, how accurate can my memories be about events that occurred even longer ago?

* If my memory is this fragile, should I ever trust it? What other things have I gotten wrong in the past? How many arguments have I gotten into with others over a difference in the recollection of memories or events that happened in the past?

* As a society, how can we trust eyewitness testimony or accounts of the past that carry with it the possibility of sending someone to death row or prison for the rest of their life?

* How many memories of my childhood are actually true? Am I remember facts about my childhood or am I remembering stories that I have been told by others and stories that I have told?

It turns out that this is a complex and fascinating area of research, and the answers to these questions reveal a lot about how the human brain works.

The truth is, our memories are not as reliable as we would like to think they are. And mine is obviously pretty terrible! Research by Elizabeth J. Marsh, as detailed in her study, "Retelling Is Not the Same as Recalling: Implications for Memory," indicates that the stories we tell ourselves and others about our experiences can significantly shape our memories of those experiences. Her study demonstrates that when we recall events, we're not always just recalling the raw facts. Instead, our memories are influenced by our retellings of these events. In essence, each time we retell a story, we may be remembering it slightly differently, and those changes can accumulate over time, leading to a memory that may be quite different from what actually happened.

Another fascinating study by Pillemer and White, titled "Childhood Events Recalled," delves even deeper into this phenomenon. They introduce two types of memory: verbatim memory and gist memory. Verbatim memory is remembering the exact words used in a story, while gist memory is about remembering the general idea or theme. The real kicker is, each time we retell a story, our verbatim memory can get altered, and it's the gist memory that tends to stick around.

So, when I look back at my childhood, am I remembering the exact facts, or am I remembering the stories that have been told and retold? According to these studies, it's likely the latter. The stories we tell and retell, both to ourselves and others, play a major role in shaping our memories. This is a sobering thought when we consider the implications. How many of our memories are "true" in the factual sense, and how many are the stories we've created and recreated over time?

One of the most formative stories from my past that I have retold hundreds of times is when I was playing hockey in high school and got my throat cut by a hockey skate. The experience changed my life. The general story that I tell about the event was that I was playing center, I fell on a hockey skate, I got up and cleared the puck, I was in the triage room when blood squirted across the hospital room, the doctors used over 200 stitches to sew me up, and during the operation the surgeon said “Son, you were 1/4 inch away from dying”.

How many of those facts are true? Reflecting on it now, it seems impossible that they needed to use 200 stitches to sew up a 4-6 inch cut. Looking back on it now, it seems unreasonable that the surgeon would take the time out of the operation to talk directly to a 17 year old kid he was operating on and make such a perfect quotable line. Has my retelling of this story over the past 25 years made the story more and more dramatic? How many of these facts are actually true? Have I been lying to myself and my friends? Fortunately, there is a video of some of it, so I know some of my details are correct. But what have I been lying about?

To bring it back to my own experiences with writing about my depression, it's clear that my memory of the timeline was heavily influenced by the narrative I had formed in my head and had retold to others. "Curing my depression in 30 days" is a powerful story, but it wasn't the reality. It took journaling and revisiting those entries to reveal the truth.

This raises serious questions about the reliance on memory in areas like eyewitness testimony. If our memories can be so easily influenced and altered, how can they be considered reliable in a court of law? It's a question that society needs to grapple with, especially when it comes to matters as serious as criminal justice.

Stories are a powerful means for transmitting important information and values between individuals and communities. Emotionally compelling stories engage our brains and are better remembered compared to mere facts. The effectiveness of a story hinges on two factors: capturing and holding our attention, and "transporting" us into the world of its characters.

From a scientific perspective, attention is akin to a spotlight, illuminating a narrow area. If that area appears less interesting, our attention tends to wander. Effective stories maintain our focus by steadily increasing tension and by relating the story to your specific audience. Think about it, when you recall a story to your grandma you don’t usually tell it exactly the same as when you recall it for your close friends. You try to fit the same story to relate to the audience you are addressing.

The problem that I realize now is that everytime I retell a story - I am shaping my memory of that story. My memory of that event is literally being altered everytime I retell it. I’m not just “remembering” the facts. I’m literally reshaping the facts based on the narrative that I’m telling.

The power of storytelling carries a lot of pitfalls. Recounting stories can distort our memories, leading to unintentional omissions, additions, or rearrangements of events. Various factors, including personal biases, the audience, and the context in which stories are retold, contribute to incomplete or distorted retellings that affect subsequent memory.

This also leads me to question things about famous examples of people getting things wrong. Were they actually lying? Or were they mis-remembering? Remember the examples of Brian Williams and James Frey?

Brian Williams, a former NBC Nightly News anchor, was suspended for six months in 2015 after it was revealed that he had embellished a story about being on a helicopter that was hit by a rocket-propelled grenade during the Iraq War in 2003. It was later confirmed that Williams was indeed in a helicopter during the incident, but it was not the one that was hit. He was quoted in his apology as saying: "I would not have chosen to make this mistake. I don't know what screwed up in my mind that caused me to conflate one aircraft with another." he added "I think the constant viewing of the video showing us inspecting the impact area — and the fog of memory over 12 years — made me conflate the two."

James Frey, an author endorsed by Oprah Winfrey, caused controversy with his book "A Million Little Pieces," which he initially presented as a memoir. It was later revealed that many of the events described in the book were either exaggerated or fabricated. This caused a significant backlash, leading to a public apology by Frey on Oprah's show.

Were these two people lying intentionally? Or did they just misremember the facts? I’m not sure. But these examples serve as a stark reminder that while storytelling has the power to inspire, educate, and connect us, it's also a tool that can unintentionally distort our own memories, leading to distortions and misconceptions. It's a reminder of the responsibility that comes with the power of storytelling and that we all must be very careful with our reliance on our memories for factual information especially about events that we have recounted in stories because each retelling of the story can unintentionally alter the facts in the story.

So, what's the takeaway from all of this? For me, it's the importance humility in understanding my own mind, its limitations, and the fallibility of my own memories. It's about recognising that my memories are not perfect and they will certainly get less perfect over time. It's about understanding that our brains are wired to remember stories, not just facts, and those stories can change over time. And most importantly, I shouldn’t be so certain about things. Even my own mind.

Learning all this got me extremely worried about writing this newsletter. I am certain that I will make mistakes in this newsletter. I know that I will get some details wrong and that I will unwittingly lie to you without knowing I’m doing so. This is my preemptive apology. Please know that I will always do my best to be truthful and honest, but based on what I just experienced writing “How I Cured My Depression”, I am truly humbled by how terrible my memory is. As Mark Twain (may have) famously said:  “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”

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In January of 2020, I received this touching text message. But the message got a darker and and deeper meaning when my friend Bret, only 42, tragically passed away from problems caused by alcohol abuse on June 4, 2023.

Just over a year earlier, on February 22, 2022, I lost another friend named Joe to similar issues with alcohol. At that time, I didn't realize I was becoming depressed. It was hard to spot at first. But now, looking back, I can see that my deep sadness started after Joe's unexpected death.

Given Bret's recent passing and the potential for my close friends to fall into the same pit of depression as they grapple with his sudden death, I felt compelled to share my own journey through depression. By doing so, I hope to equip my friends with insights that may help them identify potential signs of their own depression more swiftly than I did, and offer some strategies that helped me navigate through the encompassing darkness. Keep in mind that I'm no doctor, so these thoughts are merely my personal experiences, shared in the hope that they may be of some value.

In the aftermath of Joe's death, I changed, though I wasn't aware of it then. Only in retrospect does it become glaringly apparent. My sleeping habits changed: I started sleeping in even later, found it challenging to fall asleep and even more difficult to stay asleep. My mornings were tinged with sadness and a sense of worthlessness. Activities I once found joy in lost their appeal. Motivation eluded me, and I yearned for the comforting refuge of my bed.

However, the most dramatic change was the tension that crept into my relationship with my wife, Laken. In our near-decade together, arguments had been rare. Yet, post-Joe, trivial matters sparked disputes. I harbored an unidentifiable sadness and darkness that I clumsily offloaded onto Laken, expecting her to remedy my gloom. And when she couldn't, resentment welled up within me. It was irrational.

Two weeks after Joe's demise, I had a stark realization that something was off, and changes were in order. While I hadn't identified my condition as depression and grief, I sensed an internal shift.

Enter: The Year Of The Opposite

On March 7th, I decided to instigate radical changes. I embarked on what I call my 'Year Of The Opposite.' The first step was imposing a news diet: I stopped watching the nightly news and purposefully avoided news sources. Amid the pandemic, I was addicted to the news. Consuming every detail about Covid policy, vaccine updates, and lockdown rules became a constant in my life. A suspicion that this habit was detrimental had been nagging at me, yet I found it hard to abstain.

Additionally, I quit soda, began waking up early, adjusted my diet, and monitored my progress via the Way Of Life App. The absence of news and these other changes positively impacted my mental health almost immediately.

In just a few days, I felt lighter. Nevertheless, I was still consuming alcohol and occasionally smoking weed. The positive changes that I had already experienced encouraged me to commit fully to my new path. On March 14, 2022, I quit alcohol and marijuana. I also initiated a simple 7-minute bodyweight workout every morning, guided by my Apple Watch.

On March 27th, I began journaling my daily experiences and attended church for the first time in over a decade. Despite being raised Catholic, I've identified as an atheist or agnostic for most of my life. On March 29th, I retreated to the Edward Lowe Foundation for their self-guided Entrepreneur In Residence program, using the 2,000-acre wildlife preserve as a meditation retreat.

Even a month into grieving Joe, I hadn't come to terms with my depression. I only felt that something wasn't quite right. Given that this was my first encounter with the untimely loss of a loved one, I was left questioning whether this was merely a standard part of the grieving journey.

By April, I recognized the need for professional intervention and sought a therapist's guidance. Upon evaluation, they confirmed my depression and grief. The suggestion of medication to alleviate my distress was brought up, but the idea of more medication didn't sit well with me. With my current prescriptions for high blood pressure, elevated triglycerides, and high cholesterol, I aspired to be decreasing my reliance on drugs, not adding more. The doctor was understanding, and we proceeded without any antidepressants. (Note: I do not oppose medication. My personal preference is to avoid them unless absolutely necessary, considering them a last resort. I fully acknowledge their vital role for many individuals.)

After several therapy sessions, I found myself somewhat dissatisfied with the outcome. Perhaps it was due to the limited time, or maybe it was my inability to engage effectively in the sessions. For whatever reason, it wasn't proving beneficial. From discussions with friends who have found success in therapy, it seems that the dynamics with my therapist may have been misaligned. Our sessions were dominated by the doctor's voice, which my friends deemed unusual. Regardless, therapy did not resonate with me, and I eventually decided to terminate it.

I did get a very valuable take-away from therapy though. That was the acknowledgement and diagnosis of my depression, providing me a target to aim my efforts at overcoming.

The Results

The first month of abstaining from alcohol and marijuana was challenging before I started to feel more like my old self. There was a distinct period of withdrawal during which my mood swung wildly. Breaking the ingrained routine of enjoying a beer at dinner or social gatherings proved a hard habit to shatter. But as the month concluded, I realized a more consistent upswing in my mood.

The allure of alcohol is rooted in its ability to stimulate dopamine release from the brain's reward center, eliciting initial euphoric effects. As the "feel-good" neurotransmitter, dopamine is associated with pleasure. Yet, while alcohol induced feelings of euphoria, it would invariably lead to a downswing in my mood. The highs were intense, but the lows were uncomfortably low. I didn’t like the dramatic highs and low lows that alcohol provided.

I've put together a rather simple yet effective graphic to encapsulate my feelings. The black line represents my emotional state during alcohol consumption. My first drink would spark a surge of happiness that lingered for a while before descending into a subtle sadness. The happiness spikes were exhilarating, even tempting me to justify the subsequent sadness. However, upon quitting alcohol, the happiness surge vanished, as did the following sadness. My overall happiness seemed slightly elevated in sobriety. But more importantly, my mood stabilized, no longer swinging between extreme highs and lows. My emotional regulation significantly improved.

By July of 2022, 4 months after starting my Year Of The Opposite, I had lost 20lbs, my VO2 Max improved 5 points, I went from not being able to run .1 miles, to completing my first ever nonstop 3 mile run.

But most importantly, I was no longer sad. I was no longer depressed.

I wish I could say that one day I just woke up and I was happy. But that wasn’t how it worked for me. Even when I was depressed, I sometimes had happy days. And even now that I am not depressed, I sometimes have sad days. What changed for me was the average. And it didn’t happen immediately. It happened gradually over time until one day I looked back and said “Wow, I feel great!”

If I am to look back in retrospect, the things that had the biggest impact on my recovery from depression I would rank as follows.

* Daily Exercise

* News Diet - Not Watching News or Politics

* Better emotional regulation from Stopping Alcohol & marijuana.

* Eating better. No Soda, Less Sugar & more protein.

* Going to church & embracing community

* Waking up early.

* Nightly journaling & tracking my habits. Helps to be grateful for the day

* Meditation retreat at the Edward Lowe Foundation

After over 450 days of implementing my new lifestyle, I remain dedicated to maintaining these changes consistently. On those rare days when I miss a workout or accidentally consume news, I often find those to be the days when my satisfaction levels dip. I persist in tracking my daily habits and journaling each night. This not only helps me monitor my progress but also guides me to stay on track. These strategies have contributed immensely to my overall happiness and life satisfaction. I share this in hopes that it may prove helpful for you too.

I want to clarify that what worked for me might not necessarily work for everyone, and my experience with depression may not mirror others' experiences. This account doesn't diminish the potential benefits of medication or therapy. It's simply my personal journey and the strategies that helped me navigate through it. It's not a guarantee that these will be effective for everyone else. However, I can confidently share that within a span of four months, I experienced a significant improvement in my overall well-being.

But one constant that most people notice about the island is the persistent smell of horse manure that is a unique, but somehow a pleasant, aroma when you’re on the island. That smell and trying to dodge manure piles in the road got me thinking about something.

Today, we seem to be constantly told that our society and our generation is ruining the planet. We are regularly told about pollution, overpopulation, chemical spills, plastics contaminating the oceans, dirty water, oil spills… and on and on. It’s downright terrifying! We are told that we need to use flimsy paper straws, separate our recycling from our waste, and pay extra for plastic bags because our actions have destroyed the planet for the generation coming after us.

From the way people talk about things, I am led to believe that we humans are a terrible parasite that is destroying this world. It sounds like things have never been worse than they are today and that our actions are responsible for the current hell that we are living in. Maybe that is not the message that people are trying to convey, but it’s the message that I hear. But is that true? Are we humans destroying the world and things are only getting worse?

As I walk down the streets on Mackinac Island and dodge piles of horse poop, I am reminded of what major cities used to be like.

Walking down a city street just a few hundred years ago was a very different experience. The streets smelled disgustingly and there were trenches of open sewage basically everywhere. If you were to step in a puddle or get splashed, it was most likely urine and manure that you were being splashed by. And that wasn’t just horse poop and pee, it was most likely human, pig, and any other animal that was common in the city streets at that time.

Have you ever wondered where the tradition of having the woman walk on the inside of a sidewalk away from the road came from? It was because back in the day emptying your chamber-pot (toilet) through the window was a normal practice. The person that was walking closest to the building was less likely to be covered with feces and urine if someone rained their sewage on them from one of the windows above. Yup, since we didn’t have modern indoor plumbing yet, people would poop and pee in a pot inside their apartment building and just toss it out the window.

At this time, it was even common practice for a gentlemen to carry a handkerchief that was doused in perfume to cover their face and nose to cover up the horrible smells from the city streets that were full of sewage and pollution.

It make sense that humans are concerned about the emissions that come out of the exhaust of our automobiles. Transportation can be a dirty business. But we have to at least acknowledge that our previous form of transportation by horses wasn’t without it’s environmental flaws.

As I look out upon the beautifully maintained streets of Mackinac and I observe a worker meticulously sweeping up the one patch of manure on an otherwise immaculate 1/2 mile stretch of paved road - I’m reminded that we have done a pretty good job of developing systems to take care of our environment. It reminds me of how far we have come and it makes me very proud of Humans.

Undeniably, this doesn't imply that we should grow complacent or cease striving for enhancement. The improvements we have made in our living standards and environmental safeguards within our cities are primarily due to the relentless efforts of Active Optimists. These individuals did not merely stand by, idly hoping for conditions to get better. They rolled up their sleeves and propelled action, tirelessly working to effect meaningful changes.

I’m not trying to imply that we should stop advancing.

But I do wish that sometimes we would celebrate the progress and accomplishments that we have made instead of solely focusing on our faults and deficiencies. As I’ve said before, if you look at the news/politics you will think that the world is getting worse. If you pay attention to history, you will realize the reality that the world is getting better.

I greatly enjoyed my time on Mackinac Island. It’s a real treasure. But it also made me appreciate the simple fact that on my daily runs back in Haslett, I rarely have to be on vigilant look out to ensure that I don’t mistakenly step in horse manure or be showered with my neighbors human feces from above. And I have to say, that’s pretty cool.

This week my 4 year old and I have been reading The United States Constitution. I read it for the first time in its entirety only last year. I was pretty ashamed of myself for it taking 41 years for me to read one of the best and most important works in modern history. It also made me sad to learn that only 10-25% of Americans have ever read the document in its entirety depending upon which study you believe. An informal survey of my friends suggests the figure could be even lower.

The US Constitution is amazing to me in a couple key ways. It amazes me how short it is while still conveying so many important topics in great detail. The writing is incredibly concise and beautiful. I now take the US Constitution for granted. But at the time, it was a truly remarkable achievement.

Drafted in 1787, the mere fact that it was a written constitution was pretty unique for the time. It also introduced the concept of separation of powers among three different branches of government to prevent power concentration. Then on top of that, it established federalism, dividing authority between the federal government and the states. Uniquely, it offered an extensive Bill of Rights to safeguard individual liberties and democratic principles, including a representative system where citizens elect their leaders, a radical departure from the then-dominant monarchies and autocracies. The US Constitution also provided for its own amendment allowing for adaptability to societal changes over time. Its innovative design has substantially influenced the formation of other constitutions worldwide.

This was all done over 230 years ago and it was pretty unique and innovative at the time. It established a system that enabled humans to flourish and for an unprecedented economic boom. While not flawless, the American system is truly impressive.

As you know, I often speak about progress, generally subscribing to the worldview of Steven Pinker and Hans Rosling, which asserts continual improvement in the world. Just this week, we witnessed extraordinary feats: Finnish electricity prices dropped below zero after the latest nuclear reactor was switched on, brain implants helped a paralysed man walk again, Elon Musk's brain implant firm Neuralink got approval for human trial, and for the first time ever, an all-electric vehicle — specifically the Tesla Model Y — is now the world’s best selling car.

But I have to remind myself. This progress wasn’t inevitable. This progress took a lot of hard work. This interview between Tim Ferriss and Kevin Kelly starting at 40 minutes reminded me. This progress can cause people to be lazy, ungrateful and unappreciative of the inventors and innovators that made this possible.

It’s the difference between Passive Optimism and Active Optimism.

* Passive Optimism is the form of optimism that tends to involve a belief or hope that things will turn out well, without taking direct action to influence the outcome. Passive optimists often have a positive outlook on life and expect good results, but they might not actively work towards these results. They believe that things will naturally fall into place or that external forces (like fate or destiny) will guide the situation towards a positive outcome. They generally think that things are out of their control or that they will inevitably get better regardless of their own actions.

* Active Optimism, on the other hand, involves not only having a positive outlook but also taking proactive steps to bring about desired outcomes. Active optimists believe in their ability to influence events and conditions for the better. They maintain a positive attitude while also setting goals, planning, problem-solving, and taking action to achieve the results they hope for. In essence, active optimism combines a positive mindset with proactive behavior.

While both forms of optimism can contribute to overall well-being and resilience, active optimism can be particularly beneficial in promoting personal growth, achievement, and life satisfaction since it involves active engagement with one's goals and challenges. But most importantly, Active Optimists are the ones the change the world. Active Optimists are the ones that invent new drugs, new products, new laws, new forms of government, new ideas, new brain implants that cure paralysis, and new cars that improve transportation efficiency.

My pledge is to strive to be an Active Optimist, taking responsibility for my thoughts, feelings, and actions. I will also endeavor to recognize, celebrate, and champion the Active Optimists among us. They are the ones who defy odds, challenge naysayers, and combat negativity. While optimism certainly trumps pessimism, it's the Active Optimists who truly change the world and make it better for us all.

This Memorial Day, I find myself reflecting on the brave individuals who made it possible for me to freely pursue ideas like these. Their legacy is a reminder that we all have a part to play in building a better future. As I enjoy the day, I am conscious of the responsibility that comes with the freedoms they defended. This awareness strengthens my resolve to be an active participant in creating positive change. Happy Memorial Day!

In April of 2022 my VO2 Max as measured by my Apple Watch was 31.5 which put me right on the borderline between “Below Average” and “low” cardio fitness. 13 months later my reading is 47.1 climbing 15.6 points and putting me in the “high” category. I went from the 25th percentile to the 75th percentile.

Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

The classifications come from this important study and they include Low, Below Average, Above Average, High, and Elite.

* Low: less than the 25th percentile

* Below Average: 25th to 49th percentile

* Above Average: 50th to 74th percentile

* High: 75th to 97.6th percentile

* Elite: at or above the 97.7th percentile

VO2 Max is the maximum amount of oxygen your body can utilize during intense exercise, serving as a measure of your cardiorespiratory fitness. According to some studies, my advancement in my personal cardio fitness, signifies a 2 to 3.9 fold decrease in all-cause mortality. In layman's terms, that means my risk of dying at any given moment has been slashed by about half or up to three-quarters. This is an astonishing change in my risk of dying.

And of course I should mention, this is a population statistic, not a personal guarantee. I could still be hit by a bus tomorrow, or develop a disease that I have no control over. But it's nevertheless an impressive stride towards better health and increased healthspan.

To give you some context, let’s look at some other ways you can change your all-cause mortality or your risk of dying.

From that chart, if you look at the “Group Comparisons” and go from “low vs high” - that is where you will see the 3.9 Hazard Ratio. And if you look at “Below Average to High” that is where you will see the 2 Hazard Ratio. This is the reduction in all cause mortality that I used above. My rating is somewhere in between those two because I was exactly on the borderline between Low and Below Average.

Let's delve deeper into the comorbidity risk factors presented in this study. Hazard ratios for various conditions are as follows: Smoking at 1.41, Coronary Artery Disease at 1.29, Diabetes at 1.40, Hypertension at 1.21, and End-Stage Renal Disease at a striking 2.78.

These figures indicate that having low cardio fitness could amplify your risk of dying even more than established risk factors such as smoking, hypertension, coronary artery disease, diabetes, or even end-stage renal disease.

We often direct significant efforts towards encouraging people to quit smoking to extend their lifespan. This is undoubtedly important, but this data suggests that improving cardiovascular fitness should command just as much, if not more, attention. Low cardio fitness, it appears, constitutes a far more substantial risk factor for mortality. So while smoking cessation remains crucial, enhancing cardio fitness can be a game-changer in the pursuit of longevity.

This puts into black and white terms how important it is to be physically fit if you want to live a long time. If you are in the “low” group and went to the “Elite” group - you could have a 5 fold reduction in all cause mortality! Let me make it even more clear. That means that if you had a group of 100 of your peers and 50 of them were predicted to die over a certain time period because you were in the “low” cardio fitness group. If you were to improve your cardio fitness and get into the Elite category, now only 10 of the 100 would die in that time period. Your chance of dying would have been decreased from 50% to 10%. That is massive. It’s more than any other change in lifestyle that you can make.

If your goal is longevity, as mine is, focusing on improving your cardio fitness should be your top priority. Yet I see so many of my friends arguing about what supplements to take, or which diet is best. None of those changes will have nearly the impact as improving your cardio fitness.

Looking back at my numbers, I hope to keep increasing my cardio fitness. If I manage to reach the 'Elite' level, I could potentially secure another 1-fold reduction in all cause mortality. This pursuit has been my primary health objective. Enhancing cardiovascular fitness is arguably the most impactful action one can take to extend their lifespan. It surpasses the benefits of adhering to a specific diet or taking particular supplements, although those factors certainly still hold importance.

When I started my health journey I had a lot of different ideas about what my goals could be. At one point I wanted to try Human Growth Hormone and Testosterone so that I could increase my muscle mass and look better with my shirt off. I have never been a very muscular person and my shoulders are quite weak. I decided that this goal was too vane and I decided that I had a bigger and much more important goal.

My goal is to live a long time and die quickly. While strength is definitely correlated with long life, the use of HGH and Testosterone is not. They could actually decrease your lifespan according to some studies. Once I decided on my ultimate goal, I became very focused on my cardio fitness as it is the most important measurement that I have found that I can influence to increase my lifespan.

How do you increase your VO2 Max / Cardio Fitness?

The best way that I have found is what Dr. Peter Attia calls the 4x4x4. You run as fast as you can for 4 minutes, then rest for 4 minutes, then repeat that cycle 4 times. Since running has been my favorite exercise that I have found, running was my chosen form of cardio fitness.

Another exercise that is great for increasing cardio fitness are Tabata’s using the assault bike. Tabata’s are 20 seconds of maximum effort, followed by 10 seconds of rest, for a certain number of rounds. I like to do 10 rounds but I don’t often do Tabata’s. The assault bike is the bike with the fan for a wheel that you see at the gym. This exercise might sound easy because you’re only going for 20 second bursts, but it’s a killer.

I’m No Doctor

It's important to remember that while fitness is crucial for overall health, any changes in your exercise routine should always be done responsibly. If you're considering incorporating new methods like the 4x4x4 or Tabata workouts into your routine, especially if you're in the lower cardiovascular fitness categories, please consult with a fitness professional or a healthcare provider. Everyone's fitness journey is unique, and it's essential to choose exercises and regimes that suit your individual health conditions and abilities.

You Can Do It!

If you’re interested in improving your cardio fitness, I hope that my journey will serve as an example to show you what is possible. I assure you there is nothing special or unique about what I did. The hardest part was being consistent and starting every day. I did not work out intensely where I was sore for days after. I did not push myself to the edge of my limits. I just woke up, put on my running shoes, and set out on a leisurely run. It was honestly fun once I got going. To think that it is possible for me to lower my risk of dying by a half to 3/4s in just a year - and to go from not being capable of running a quarter of a mile to completing a mile in 7:07 as a part of a 5k run - is unimaginable to me just a year ago. But I did it and you can too. I’m here to encourage you and help you along the way.

Please share any feedback with me by replying to this email or commenting below. If you want to improve your cardio fitness and you want someone to be your accountability partner - I’m standing by and ready to take on that duty! You got this!

Thank you for reading Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack. This post is public so feel free to share it.

MyVilla is not my first startup and by many measures I’m in a safer position to start this company than any of my previous business ventures.  I have the support of my wife, the partnership of my close friend, a modest level of financial security, and a relatively decent social standing.  But nonetheless, sometimes the fear I feel about starting this company can be almost crippling.  

Each day is a pendulum swing between exhilarating highs and near-debilitating lows of fear and anxiety. Every time we achieve a fresh breakthrough, entice another prospective customer, or earn the backing of a respected advisor who wishes to invest, the satisfaction is beyond comparison. The opportunity to share these victories with my friend Chris and my wife Laken brings a profound sense of joy that words struggle to encapsulate.

However, there's this lurking apprehension and a recurring anxiety and fear. It frequently slips in when I settle into bed at the end of the night, or jolts me awake from slumber. My thoughts spiral, racing against the silence. The worry consistently focuses on a few themes. 

A significant part of my financial resources are pledged to this venture, potentially investing or wagering between $400k to $1m of my personal resources. To some, this amount may seem staggeringly vast, yet to several of my peers, it appears a pittance. For me, it's a substantial portion of my liquid assets. 

Of course I’ve tried to make this a logical bet and I’ve run several financial models. I've strived to protect my financial security, weighing the risks against the potential for substantial gain and doing my best to protect and minimize my downside exposure.  After all, risk is the price of reward.

Amplifying my financial concern is the fact that my friend, demonstrating an extraordinary and humbling belief in me and my idea, is sharing this risk with me. He and his family are staking a considerable portion of their resources  to help build this company by my side. They stand at the precipice, prepared to share the hardship, ready to take the leap with me. They are staring into the abyss chewing glass, and ready to jump off the cliff with me in hopes that we can assemble the airplane before we crash into the ground.   The process of starting companies seems to be full of colorful metaphors that imperfectly describe the experience in dramatic ways.  

Having people invest in MyVilla generates a feeling that is unusual for me but it’s not new. Only once before have I accepted financial investment to start one of my businesses. It was a generous $10,000 loan from my supportive and trusting parents to establish my first business, a media production company. The company failed almost instantly, yet I managed to repay the loan in full and ahead of schedule. Still, the echo of that experience haunts me, a ghost from my past that refuses to fade. I have so much scar tissue from that experience that I made it a rule to never accept or solicit outside investment into one of my businesses again. 

But now that rule is being challenged. I’ve been incredibly fortunate to have several friends and mentors that are so excited about MyVilla that they are urging me to allow them to invest in the company. This is a position that I have only been in once before and it went badly. I haven’t yet decided if I will accept their generous offers to invest. The duty, responsibility and pressure that I feel to be a good steward of their money and show them a good return is a weight that I’m unfamiliar with shouldering.  Losing my own money is one thing.  But losing someone else's money seems an unimaginable and terrifying thought.

Then Imposter Syndrome sets in. Imposter syndrome is where I doubt my accomplishments and harbor a persistent fear of being exposed as a "fraud." Launching a startup is like constantly charting unknown territories. Each day ushers in a new task, a novel challenge that I've never encountered before. There's no roadmap, no step-by-step manual to follow; it's all about learning on the fly and adapting swiftly. But with this pioneering spirit often comes the shadow of imposter syndrome, whispering doubts and questioning my legitimacy. 

There is another recurrent fear, one that I'm more embarrassed to confess that is born from the shadows of my ego - the part of me that's sensitive to status and pride. What will the whispers say if I fail? It’s only been a mere 3 days since I launched the business, but of course there are several people eager to poke holes in my plan and tell me that my plan is unwise. What if the naysayers are right? What if I'm incapable of pulling this off? Will they all mock me? Will they ever vest their trust in me again? Can I shake off the social stigma associated with failure? Will my other businesses suffer because of my failure in this venture? 

In my heart of hearts, I recognize that these concerns are trivial, yet this understanding doesn't stop the fears from seeping into my thoughts. I must be honest with myself and acknowledge their presence. I'm aware that the pursuit of status is a zero-sum game. I know that if I play stupid games, I only win stupid prizes. Yet, this knowledge doesn't seem to silence the insidious whispers in my mind.

So, what quiets these negative voices? The solution is very simple. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. The solution is working hard everyday. Rising each morning and starting my exercise. Eating healthy. Focusing my energy on tackling meaningful problems each day. Writing in my journal. Being an attentive father and husband. Each night, making a prioritized list of the 5 most important tasks to achieve tomorrow and the next morning working through that list diligently. Then doing it all over again every single day. These actions almost always silence the negative voices and extinguish the anxiety and fear. 

Because, for me, fear and anxiety are often just anticipatory worries about future decisions or actions that I know I should undertake but have yet to confront. If I maintain my momentum - every day, every hour, every minute - the fear and anxiety become overshadowed by the deep satisfaction of incremental achievements. Worry never solves a single problem today. But it can sap my energy and stifle my progress.  

In my experience, if I procrastinate when faced with intricate or challenging decisions, it tends to amplify my worries rather than alleviate them.  Usually, I would be better off if I made a decision quickly, even if it was the wrong decision, than I would be if I kept delaying the decision in search of the “right” decision. Usually the swiftness of reaching a decision is more important than the absolute accuracy of the decision itself. 

This post was hard to write.  I’ve tried to be vulnerable and honest about my fears and anxiety about launching MyVilla.  But I’m very happy to report that my joy is about 90% of my day and the fear is a measly 10%. I wrote this post because I wanted to be honest about the fear of starting a company that is seldom discussed openly.  As a “leader” I naturally want to exude confidence and self assuredness.  But there is a fear that is ever present in every entrepreneur that I have met if you can get them to open up to you and share their inner monologue. 

I want to be careful not to overlook or deny this truth. I am better served when I identify what soothes my inner fear and determine actionable steps to silence the negative voices. It's often easy to pinpoint what will silence them. The next step is committing myself to undertake the necessary actions every day to amplify joy and mute the criticism from the cheap seats, even if those jeers are originating from within my own mind.

If you enjoyed this please reply to this email or comment below. I’d love to hear from you. It would also be appreciated if you could share this post with anyone you think that may enjoy it. Thank you.

"At the end of the day, you should always be able to ask yourself: What weakness did I overcome today? What virtue did I acquire?" - Marcus Aurelius, "Meditations," Book 5, Section 9 (paraphrased).

Three years ago, I started journaling everynight before bed. Inspired by renowned writer Jim Collins (Author of Good to Great & Built to Last), I developed a system that not only allows me to reflect on my day but also to objectively rate my experiences, track my progress, and sometimes preserve my memories by saving photographs. 

This week, I will share my personal approach to journaling and offer you the tools to start your own journal which will foster personal growth and allow you to gain a deeper insight into your life experiences. Journaling every night has become an integral and profoundly impactful activity in my life, one that I hope to continue indefinitely. When I tell people that I journal, I’m amazed at how many friends and mentors will share with me that they journal too. There are many remarkable people throughout history that journaled, including Leonardo da Vinci, Charles Darwin, Theodore Roosevelt, Thomas Edison, Ernest Hemingway, Winston Churchill, John Adams, Ludwig van Beethoven, Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and Epictetus.

In my three years of consistent journaling, I have experienced numerous benefits that have significantly impacted my life, both in terms of self-awareness and overall well-being. Here are the main advantages that I have discovered through this daily practice:

* Enhanced reflection and gratitude: Journaling at the end of the night provides me an opportunity to reflect on the day's events and appreciate the positive experiences that might otherwise be overshadowed by our natural tendency to dwell on negative occurrences. This practice helps to cultivate gratitude and fosters a more balanced perspective on my daily life.

* Greater understanding of the connection between my activities and my emotions: Journaling allows me to analyze how the choices I make throughout the day impact my mood and overall satisfaction. For example, I've noticed a clear correlation between exercising and experiencing positive emotions at the end of the day, while poor diet choices and excessive screen time often lead to negative feelings. This awareness enables me to break unproductive patterns and prioritize activities that contribute to my happiness and well-being. As a self-proclaimed data nerd, this insight is particularly valuable for making informed decisions about my daily routine.

* A valuable record for future reference and reminiscing: Maintaining a running log of my experiences, thoughts, and emotions creates a treasure trove of memories and insights that can be revisited and enjoyed at any time. With my digital journal, I can easily look back to a specific date, search for moments shared with a particular person, or explore similar experiences from the past. This archive not only serves as a powerful tool for personal growth but also allows me to reconnect with cherished memories and appreciate the journey I've been on.

Here are some practical examples of how journaling helped me.

After my friend Joe passed away, I wanted to reminisce about the memories we shared together. I wondered when we had last spent time together. By searching my journal, I could relive the moments I had saved about Joe. It was a healing experience, allowing me to recall the wonderful times we had in greater detail.

One of my favorite features on Facebook is the "memories" feature, where you can look back on posts and pictures from the same day in previous years. I do the same thing with my journal. I'll look back one year from today and read about what I was doing at that time. Since it's my personal journal and not my public Facebook page, the entries are more personal and genuine compared to what I share with the world on Facebook. It helps me remember and appreciate my experiences from a year ago, which I often forget.

Most recently, this was helpful because I could look back on my beginnings as a runner. I could see my excitement from a year ago when I completed my first full run around the lake. I was able to relive the thrill of that accomplishment back then, but I also appreciated the progress I've made since. I now regularly complete that run and in much less time. It's nice to take a moment to celebrate my progress and improvement as a runner. The journal allowed me to do this.

Here’s How: A Bullet Proof System for Journaling

The Tools: 

* Google Form to Record My Journal (Shared Below)

* Google Calendar Reminder: To remind me every night to journal. 

* Short Cut on My Phone Home Screen: Instructions below for setting it up on iPhone. 

My Journaling Process:

Each night, I get a reminder from my Google Calendar at 9:30pm to remind me to journal. In the calendar reminder there is a link to the Google Form to complete my journal. I also have the link saved on the homescreen of my iPhone and in my bookmark toolbar on Google Chrome. This way I can always quickly get into the journal. It’s important to make it as easy as possible to journal. As we talked about before, I like to apply the principles from the book "Atomic Habits." I use "The Four Laws of Behavior Change" to create new habits: make it obvious, make it attractive, make it easy, and make it satisfying. The goal is to make journaling as easy as possible.

Remembering to journal and then starting to write is probably the hardest part.

Once I’m in the journal I begin by rating my day on a scale from -2 to 2, with 2 representing an incredible, unforgettable day and -2 signifying a particularly challenging or difficult one. While this rating is inherently subjective, I strive to maintain as much objectivity as possible in my assessment. The rating provides a quantifiable measurement of my satisfaction with the day.

Following this, I proceed to write a journal entry detailing the events of my day. Some entries are concise, consisting of just a sentence or two, while others span multiple paragraphs, delving into the nuances and emotions of my experiences. To complement my written reflections, I also have the option to upload photographs from the day, creating a visual record of my memories if I feel it would be helpful.

To facilitate this daily practice, I've created a straightforward and user-friendly Google Form, which serves as the platform for my journal entries. I like it because it's completely free and it’s very easy to use and edit. I'll share a copy that you can use to kickstart your own journaling journey.

Here are Two Examples from My Journals: A Good Day & A Bad Day

I thought it might be helpful for you to see two examples from my own journal. Here is an example of a gread day.

Friday - 5/5/2023 - Rating: 2 (Great Day) Today was a fantastic day, even though I didn't accomplish much work. I began by taking a refreshing run around the lake before indulging in a bath, despite knowing I probably shouldn't. (Baths correlate with lazy days for me.) Later, I had a conversation with PNC bank, and Laken arrived home from work earlier than expected.We embarked on our vacation to Grand Haven and Spring Lake, making a pitstop at the XXXXX Donuts production facility. Lane had an incredible opportunity to create his own donuts, while the owner, gave us a tour of the facility. It was really cool to learn that he can produce up to 14,000 donuts per day, with the potential to expand even further.Our journey continued to Grand Haven, where I'm scheduled to skydive with Skydive Grand Haven at 1 pm on Saturday. We checked into the Holiday Inn in Spring Lake, which has an excellent location right by the water, both outdoor and indoor pools, a fitness center, and a good price. The hotel even has boat docks and a spacious parking lot. We should come back. For dinner, we went to Fuel, which turned out to be great. Afterward, we visited Michael and Noella's home. They have an extensive circle of neighbor friends, all with children of their own. At one point, there must have been 20 kids playing in the yard. Lane had a blast and was the center of attention, bringing the donuts for everyone to enjoy. Lane climbed a tree for the first time with the help of some friendly girls. It was great to see him getting along with the kids so well.I couldn't help but feel a bit of envy towards Michael and Noella for having such a close-knit group of friends as neighbors, and their children having so many playmates their age. Perhaps "jealousy" isn't the right word – it's more of a longing for Lane to have a similar network of friends, especially since he doesn't have siblings. It made me wish we could provide him with a larger community to grow up alongside.We all gathered around a bonfire while the children played, and the adults shared some drinks, yard games, & pickleball. We returned to the hotel and settled in for the night around 10 pm, bringing an end to a great family day.

Here is an example of a bad day:

4/24/2023 - Rating -2 (A very Bad Day) I was feeling extremely unwell today due to a stomach bug. Nausea and stomach upset all day long. The sickness lasted for about 24 hours, and I couldn't eat anything. It was brutal. Lots of time in the bathroom. Initially, I thought my poor eating habits from the previous days caused it, but it seems more like food poisoning. I must remember to eat healthy. It might not have caused this issues but it never helps. Indulging in unhealthy food may provide momentary pleasure, but I always feel like s**t later. By choosing to eat healthily, I might sacrifice those brief moments of satisfaction, but I will feel much better most of the time. I am committed to improving my diet.

Historic Greats: Journal Keepers and Thinkers

Many famous people throughout history have kept journals or diaries as a way to record their thoughts, experiences, and ideas. Here are a few notable individuals who were known to write in their journals regularly, often on a nightly basis:

* Leonardo da Vinci the famous Italian artist and polymath who wrote extensively in his notebooks and journals throughout his life, covering a wide range of topics including art, science, engineering, and anatomy.

* Charles Darwin, the biologist, kept detailed journals and notebooks during his journey on the HMS Beagle, where he recorded his observations and ideas that would later form the foundation of his theory of evolution.

* Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th President of the United States, was a dedicated journal-keeper who recorded his thoughts and experiences from his time as a young naturalist and explorer to his years in the White House.

* Thomas Edison, the American inventor and businessman, documented his ideas, experiments, and inventions throughout his life in numerous notebooks and journals.

* Ernest Hemingway, the American author and journalist, maintained journals and notebooks during his travels and writing career, which gave insight into his creative process and personal experiences.

* Winston Churchill, a British statesman and author who served as Prime Minister during World War II, kept a diary that documented his thoughts and experiences during his time in office.

* John Adams, the second President of the United States, was a prolific writer who kept diaries and journals throughout his life, recording his thoughts on politics, philosophy, and personal matters.

* Ludwig van Beethoven, the composer and pianist, documented his thoughts on music, art, and life in a series of conversation books and personal journals.

——-

The Science of Journaling every night and the benefits 

You know I love data. So here it is… Research has consistently shown that regular journaling offers a range of significant benefits for individuals, including enhanced emotional well-being, stress reduction, improved immune function, better cognitive performance, and improved sleep quality. By expressing thoughts and emotions through writing, individuals can process traumatic experiences, better manage stress, and even boost their immune system. Journaling also helps to organize thoughts, clarify ideas, and facilitate problem-solving, leading to improved cognitive processing and working memory capacity. Furthermore, engaging in journaling before bedtime has been linked to reduced worry and stress, resulting in better sleep quality. Overall, nightly journaling can contribute to a healthier, more balanced lifestyle with numerous physical and psychological benefits.

* Emotional well-being: A study conducted by Pennebaker and Beall (1986) demonstrated that expressive writing or journaling about emotional experiences can lead to improvements in mental health. Participants who wrote about traumatic experiences showed significant decreases in distress and better overall well-being compared to those who wrote about neutral topics.Source: Pennebaker, J. W., & Beall, S. K. (1986). Confronting a traumatic event: Toward an understanding of inhibition and disease. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 95(3), 274-281.

* Stress reduction: A study by Smyth et al. (1998) found that writing about emotional experiences helped to reduce stress and improve health outcomes for participants with chronic illnesses. Source: Smyth, J. M., Stone, A. A., Hurewitz, A., & Kaell, A. (1998). Effects of writing about stressful experiences on symptom reduction in patients with asthma or rheumatoid arthritis: a randomized trial. Journal of the American Medical Association, 281(14), 1304-1309.

* Improved immune function: A study by Pennebaker et al. (1988) found that writing about emotional experiences can boost immune function. Participants who engaged in expressive writing exhibited increased T-lymphocyte production, an essential component of the immune system.Source: Pennebaker, J. W., Kiecolt-Glaser, J. K., & Glaser, R. (1988). Disclosure of traumas and immune function: health implications for psychotherapy. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 56(2), 239-245.

* Enhanced cognitive function: Journaling can help improve cognitive function by organizing thoughts, clarifying ideas, and facilitating problem-solving. A study by Klein and Boals (2001) found that participants who engaged in expressive writing showed improved working memory capacity, which is crucial for cognitive processing.Source: Klein, K., & Boals, A. (2001). Expressive writing can increase working memory capacity. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 130(3), 520-533.

* Improved sleep: Journaling before bedtime can help reduce bedtime worry and stress, making it easier to fall asleep. A study by Harvey et al. (2002) found that participants who engaged in journaling before bedtime reported improvements in sleep quality. Source: Harvey, A. G., & Farrell, C. (2003). The efficacy of a Pennebaker-like writing intervention for poor sleepers. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 41(2), 227-236.

These studies provide evidence of the potential benefits of regular journaling, particularly when focusing on emotional experiences or engaging in expressive writing. Journaling every night may help individuals process emotions, reduce stress, improve cognitive function, and enhance overall well-being. I know it has for me personally.

In conclusion, my three-year experiment with nightly journaling has profoundly impacted my life positively. I has fostered self-awareness, personal growth, and overall well-being. By sharing my approach, I encourage you to start your own journaling practice and join the ranks of remarkable individuals who have experienced the countless benefits of this powerful tool. Journaling can offer you enhanced reflection, gratitude, and valuable insights into your life, ultimately enriching your experiences and promoting personal growth. I encourage you to give it a try. Grab a pen or set up a digital journal and start recording your journey today. Who knows? You might just discover the transformative power of journaling for yourself.

Please let me know what you think about this post. Do you journal? Do you want to start? I’d love to hear from you.

To get a copy of my journaling tool, just email me or leave a comment below.

Make it Easy: Here is How To Add A Shortcut To Your Journal On Your iPhone or Android

iPhone or iPad

* Open Safari. Other browsers, such as Chrome, won't work for this.

* Navigate to the website you want to save to your home screen by entering the URL of the website you want to create a shortcut to. Make sure you visit the exact page you want to open through the shortcut. Tap “Go.”

* Tap the Share button on the bottom of the page. It looks like a square with an arrow pointing out of the top.

* In the list of options that appear, scroll down until you see Add to Home Screen. Tap this. The Add to Home Screen dialog box will appear.

* Choose a name for the website shortcut on your home screen. You'll see the link so you can confirm it, as well as the site's favicon that will appear as the "app" icon on your home screen. Click Add when you're done. Safari will close automatically and you will be taken to where the icon is located on your iPhone’s or iPad's home screen.

* Now just tap the new "app" or shortcut on your home screen, and it will open the website in its own navigation window, independent of what you have open in Safari.

Android

* Open Chrome.

* Navigate to the website or web page you want to pin to your home screen.

* Tap the menu icon (3 dots in upper right-hand corner) and tap Add to homescreen.

* Choose a name for the website shortcut, then Chrome will add it to your home screen.

The dark days of the pandemic had mostly faded into the past, but instead of taking a moment to rejoice, our collective focus shifted without missing a beat to the next looming disaster—the war in Ukraine. Like many Americans, even though I couldn't pinpoint Ukraine on a map, I jumped into research mode, eager to form an opinion on this fresh conflict.

It wasn't enough for me to simply know "where I stood" on the issue. I needed to possess the correct interpretation of the facts and be more informed than my neighbor. Admittedly, I was clueless about the intricate geopolitical histories of Russia and Ukraine, but that didn't deter me! I plunged into the subject, exploring NATO's role in the region, the Bucharest Summit Declaration, and immersing myself in chapters and hours of video by John Mearsheimer.

After a few days, I had formulated an opinion on the war. Of course, I wasn't actually generating any original thoughts; I was merely choosing which voices to listen to and parroting their information as if it were my own. But, I had to admit, I was quite adept at this. I could usually absorb more information, process it, and recall it better than others—a "gift" I had honed over many years of being opinionated on complex subjects. This was precisely what I did during the pandemic as well...

Then I stumbled upon this meme:

The meme struck me like a bolt to the heart, encapsulating my essence entirely. What was I truly doing? I recognized that I was treating this like a sport, a contest of "who could be right" on any given topic. My research served as practice for the competition. Even more troubling, I was part of a "team" I hadn't even acknowledged. I was engaging in tribalism.

I found myself choosing between being "pro-war in Ukraine" or "anti-war in Ukraine." During the pandemic, I picked sides as "pro-vaccine" or "anti-vaccine." And, inevitably, whether consciously or unconsciously, I was aligning myself with a political tribe. If I was "anti-vaccine," I was "pro-Trump." If I was "pro-lockdowns," I was "pro-Biden." If I donned a mask, it's likely I had a Ukrainian flag displayed on my car.

As a natural contrarian, I did my best to confound people by mixing and matching my beliefs. Perhaps I'd be pro-vaccine, anti-lockdown, anti-Ukraine war, and still help send an ambulance to Ukrainian citizens. That would surely baffle them!

The whole experience was draining. And what purpose did it serve? Did my opinion on any of these issues genuinely make a difference? Of course not. It was merely a sport. I was picking a side, a team, a tribe.

So, on March 7, 2022 I realized that I was addicted to the news and I decided to stop consuming it. This was still early in my grief and depression from my friend Joe dying. I was anxious to try anything that might help fix my symptoms and my “information diet” was one of the first things I changed.

How Did I Start My News Diet?

* The first thing I had to do was unfollow or mute my friends on social media that constantly talked about the news. (I’m sorry) This resulted in my Facebook Friends List going from about 2,000 people to now just about 400. I trimmed a lot of people.

* I used the “mute” keywords feature on Twitter. This is a great feature where you can hide any words or topics that you don’t want to see on your feed.

* I stopped tuning into the nightly TV newscast.

* I tried my best to stop talking about these subjects with my friends and family.

* I unsubscribed from any newsletters or emails that were about politics or news.

* I set up “Way Of Life” to track my ability to ignore the news. Everynight I would rate myself on the task: “Avoid Politics & News! Focus on what I can control.” If I did a good job on it, I would rate it “Yes” and it would turn green. If I didn’t do so well, I would rate it “No” and it would turn Red for the day.

Rating myself every day using the Way Of Life App was a huge help. Everynight before I was going to bed I would have to consciously think about the day and evaluate my performance on this task. Somedays I was very successful. While other days, I failed miserably. But when I was evaluating myself, it provided me with a good opportunity to reflect on the day. What I noticed was that, without question, on the days that I successfully avoided the news and politics, I felt better. I felt happier. Here is how I have fared: Each bar graph is a month going back to March of 2022. The red are the days of the month that I did NOT avoid the news and politics. The green, is when I was successful.

Even though I wasn’t perfect, the effects of turning of the news were very positive and they were quick. Here is what I journaled about it at the time:

* After just 2 Weeks: “I’ve been on a food diet for 2 weeks. I’ve been on an information diet for 3 weeks (no news, no politics). Both have been very good for me. But the information diet has had the biggest impact on my happiness.”

* 68 Days: “I haven’t read or watched the news in 68 days. I was addicted to it.”

* 110 Days: “110 days without the news. It has improved my mental health, depression, and anxiety.”

* 156 days: “156 days without the news. Much clearer head.”

I kept thinking of two great quotes…

“The goal of media is to make every problem, your problem.” - Naval

“If you pay attention to the news, you will think the world is getting worse. If you pay attention to history, you will know the world is getting better.”

I am certainly not perfect when it comes to avoiding the news, but the results of doing so are undeniable. Engaging with news and politics often leaves me feeling sad, depressed, and angry. When I began intentionally ignoring these topics, I was concerned that I might miss critical information relevant to my businesses or family. However, I can confidently say that never happened. If something was truly important, someone would mention it to me in person.

It's crucial to emphasize that I didn't miss anything significant in my life. While I undoubtedly missed out on numerous events, they were not directly related to my personal experiences, nor were they within my control.

I was oblivious to many mass shootings, celebrity deaths, political scandals, natural disasters, and school shootings that I was expected to have an opinion on.

On several occasions, people approached me, asking, "Did you hear about XYZ?" They were often surprised when I admitted that I was unaware of the event in question.

Indeed, I was ignorant about many subjects. But what was I truly missing? How would I, or the world, benefit from me knowing about the latest school shooting in another state? I couldn't do anything to alleviate the tragedy. More importantly, what impact would thoughts of those innocent children have on my mental health? What would be the consequences of knowing such distressing information on my well-being? It turns out, science tells us, that the simple fact of knowing the information can have a massive impact on our own well being.

What Does Science Tell Us About News, Politics and Its Impact On Our Health?

Tuning into the news can potentially make us fatter… One thing we can be certain of is that when we experience stress, anger, or fear, our bodies release cortisol. Cortisol promotes fat storage and breaks down muscle tissue. This means that when we are stressed, angry, or scared, our fat cells expand, and our muscles shrink. Consequently, stress and anger can contribute to weight gain. Maintaining mental well-being plays a crucial role in a weight loss plan.

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It turns out, watching news about a tragedy can be even worse than experiencing it in some cases. This study investigates the impact of media exposure on acute stress response to collective trauma. It involved a survey conducted after the Boston Marathon bombings on residents from Boston, New York City, and the rest of the United States. The results showed that acute stress symptom scores were similar in Boston and New York, but lower nationwide. After adjusting for pre-bombing mental health, demographics, and prior collective stress exposure, it was found that six or more daily hours of bombing-related media exposure in the week following the bombings was associated with higher acute stress than direct exposure to the bombings.

The study suggests that repeatedly engaging with trauma-related media content for several hours daily shortly after collective trauma may prolong acute stress experiences and promote substantial stress-related symptomatology. This is because media exposure may perpetuate activation of fear circuitry in the brain, contributing to the abnormal consolidation of fear conditioning associated with the development of acute and post-traumatic stress responses. Mass media may, therefore, become a conduit that spreads the negative consequences of community trauma beyond directly affected communities.

What does this mean? It means that just watching the news in some cases is even worse than being the person in the news! In this case, people that had just watched news stories about the Boston Marathon Bombing were experiencing more stress than those that experienced the bombing first hand.

Is that good? We now know that the news can impact the content of our dreams. it can sneak into our subconscious and meddle with our lives in surprising ways. It can lead us to think that we are at way higher risk of dying of cancer than we actually are. It can even shape our views of foreign countries and make us scared to visit some countries.

There are even studies that examine the impact that the stress caused by news about the 9/11 terrorist threat had on developing health problems long after the event or increasing our chances of having a heart attack.

Based on this scientific research, we know that consuming news, especially about tragic events, can negatively impact our health in various ways. Stress, anger, or fear induced by news can lead to weight gain due to cortisol release, which promotes fat storage and breaks down muscle tissue. Watching news about tragedies like the Boston Marathon bombings can, in some cases, cause more stress than experiencing the event firsthand, as media exposure prolongs acute stress experiences and promotes stress-related symptoms. In addition, the stress caused by news about the 9/11 terrorist attacks was found to increase the chances of having a heart attack or developing health problems long after the event. Consequently, the news can influence our dreams, perceptions of risk, and views on foreign countries, ultimately affecting our lives in multiple unexpected ways.

I can personally attest to the positive effects of limiting my news consumption on my life. By being more mindful of the information I take in, I've become increasingly aware of both the negative and positive sources that surround me. While I haven't perfected this practice, I strive to improve each day. If you suspect you may be addicted to news and politics, like I once was, or you're curious about trying something new, consider giving it a shot and observing its impact on your life. You might be pleasantly surprised. Feel free to share your experiences! You can always reply to this email, comment, or engage in the community chat.

Boca Chica Village, a remote Texas outpost, lies at the confluence of the Rio Grande and the Gulf of Mexico, where the Earths glory coexists with the awe-inspiring silhouettes of SpaceX's Starship rockets, symbolizing the union of natures beauty and human ambition.

Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Boca Chica has fewer than 50 residents and before SpaceX arrived the site didn’t have electricity, water, or sewer.  5 years ago some of  the smartest engineers from all over the world converged on the small desert strip motivated by a singular gargantuan mission: Make humanity a multi planetary species. These engineers moved to the middle of nowhere and many of them lived in trailers because they were so motivated by their mission. 

The 394-foot-tall Starship, the most powerful rocket ever built, lifted off successfully and flew for about 4 minutes. For comparison, Lansing's tallest building, the Boji Tower, reaches a height of 297 feet. In contrast, the complete Starship system, including the Super Heavy booster, stands approximately 394 feet tall, making it around 100 feet taller than Lansing's highest structure.

Starship Passed Max Q.

Passing Max Q is a very important milestone. Max Q, short for maximum dynamic pressure, is the point during a rocket's ascent when it experiences the greatest aerodynamic stress. It occurs when the combination of the rocket's velocity and the density of the Earth's atmosphere results in the highest pressure on the rocket's structure. This is a critical moment in the flight, as the rocket has to be designed to withstand the structural load it experiences at Max Q. Once the rocket passes through Max Q, the air pressure decreases as it climbs higher, reducing the stress on the vehicle.

However, the Starship upper stage failed to separate from the Super Heavy first stage about three minutes after liftoff, resulting in an explosion just under four minutes into the launch. This destruction was intentional, as the vehicle experienced multiple engine failures during the flight test and lost altitude. Despite the explosion, SpaceX celebrated the progress made during the test, as the rocket reached a maximum altitude of about 24 miles and passed Max Q.

An Aside: What is “Rocket Stage?” Why does it separate?

Imagine you want to launch a rocket into space. The rocket is made up of different parts, and each part has a special job to do to help the rocket reach its destination.

The different parts of a rocket are called "stages." Each stage is like a piece of the rocket that is designed to work at a different time during the launch.

When the rocket takes off, it needs a lot of power to overcome the force of gravity and lift off the ground. The first stage of the rocket is usually the largest and has the most powerful engines. These engines use a lot of fuel to provide the initial thrust needed to lift the rocket off the ground.

As the rocket climbs higher into the sky, it starts to move faster and faster. At a certain point, the first stage of the rocket has used up all its fuel and can no longer provide enough power to lift the rocket any higher. That's when the first stage separates from the rest of the rocket.

After the first stage separates, the second stage takes over. The second stage has its own engines and fuel supply. It's designed to work at higher altitudes and with less air resistance than the first stage. The second stage continues to push the rocket higher and higher until it reaches its destination.

The reason why the stages separate is to make the rocket lighter and more efficient. Once a stage has used up all its fuel, it becomes dead weight that the rest of the rocket has to carry. By separating the used-up stage, the rest of the rocket becomes lighter and can move more efficiently through space.

What may have caused the failure? 

During the launch, 'car-sized' chunks of concrete from the launchpad were thrown around as a result of the intense force generated by the rocket's 31 engines. It is speculated that these flying concrete debris may have impacted and damaged some of the engines, leading to the failure of six engines. This damage could have affected the engine gimbaling and control, ultimately causing the Starship to spiral out of control and fail the scheduled stage separation.

Here are some important points about Starship: 

* When perfected, Starship will be the world's largest rocket, capable of carrying passengers to the Moon and Mars, as well as taking 100 people on long-duration, interplanetary flights. The cargo area in Starship is so huge, the entire international space station can fit inside the interior of Starship! 

* Starship is designed to be cost-effective, potentially delivering 100 tons of cargo to any planet in the solar system for as little as $50 million.  

* The SpaceX Starship is expected to significantly reduce the cost of delivering cargo to orbit compared to current methods. With the ability to deliver 100 metric tons of cargo to orbit for a variable cost of only $2 million, Starship is expected to offer an improvement of approximately 44 times (or 1.64 orders of magnitude) in cost per metric ton when compared to the current cost of about $15 million for 17 metric tons. This breakthrough in cost efficiency will greatly impact the accessibility and affordability of space missions and payloads in the future.

* Unlike the Space Shuttle, Starship will be reusable, leading to rapid turnaround and relaunch cycles. This could significantly reduce launch costs and enable daily launches.

* With reduced costs and the ability to carry heavy loads, Starship will make space exploration and colonization more financially sustainable and accessible. It could lead to space tourism and more opportunities for scientific experiments.

* The ability to launch tens of thousands of satellites into space at minimal cost will revolutionize communications and Earth observation, leading to improved weather prediction, crop monitoring, earthquake prediction, air traffic control, and navigation aids.

* While many of these ambitions are still years away, the development and testing of Starship will contribute to significant scientific advances and change the paradigm for NASA science and human exploration of space.

Many people may not realize that today's explosion is not a failure, but rather an essential step in the rocket development process. The event provides valuable data that can be used to enhance the rocket's performance. Designing a rocket like Starship involves an iterative process where each iteration is built upon the lessons learned from the previous one.

For example, the 31 engines utilized in Starship were produced in just 1 year. They have already undergone over 1,000 individual improvements within just a year. With the data from this liftoff, they will be able to make further improvements to improve the reliability and lower the cost of each rocket. This is the beauty of the iterative approach to building rockets.

1,000 Flowers Will Bloom

The advancements by SpaceX will lead to inventions and industries that we could never have anticipated.  Let's remember all the inventions from the space race. 

The space race between the United States and the Soviet Union during the mid-20th century spurred a wealth of unforeseen technological advancements that have since transformed everyday life. Satellite communication systems revolutionized global communications, paving the way for technologies like GPS and satellite TV. Innovations in digital imaging, such as the charge-coupled device (CCD), accelerated the development of digital cameras, which have become ubiquitous in consumer devices. Memory foam, initially created for aircraft seat safety, now provides comfort in mattresses and pillows, while cordless tools, born from a collaboration between NASA and Black & Decker, have become essential in households and industries. Scratch-resistant lenses, derived from astronaut helmet visor coatings, have improved eyewear durability, and water filtration systems, designed for space missions, have enhanced drinking water quality and filtration efficiency. Lastly, the space race fueled advancements in solar cell technology, driving greater efficiency and affordability that underpin the growing adoption of solar power in various applications.

What Are the Near Term Possibilities for This Technology? 

While Starship is primarily designed for space travel, its potential applications could have a significant impact on human travel on Earth. One such concept proposed by SpaceX is Earth-to-Earth transportation using Starship, which could revolutionize long-distance flights. For example, a flight from New York to Shanghai, which currently takes around 15-16 hours on a traditional commercial airplane, could be completed in under an hour using Starship.

This dramatic reduction in travel time could transform global travel, making it easier and more efficient for people to conduct business, visit family, or explore new places. By utilizing point-to-point rocket travel, Starship has the potential to revolutionize the aviation industry and redefine the way we think about long-distance transportation.

Starlink: Fast Satellite Internet Everywhere

Currently SpaceX can release about 60 satellites per space flight. But with Starship, they could be able to launch 600+ satellites at a time.  The FCC has already cleared them to release 12,000 satellites. This means that they could release all the satellites in a few dozen space missions and give everyone on the planet access to high speed internet.  Right now high speed internet is primarily only available in densely populated areas.  This could dramatically increase access to the internet around the world. 

I think 4/20/2023 will be looked back upon in history as an important date for humans and space travel. It could be the date that we look back and credit with the start of our species becoming multi-planetary.  It’s an incredible accomplishment for America. It’s an incredible accomplishment for humanity. 

Another Sad Day For the Media

But sadly, you wouldn’t know how amazing this accomplishment was if you were paying attention to many news sources.  I’m on a news diet as a part of my Year Of The Opposite, but The All In Podcast and my buddy Drew mentioned that the vast majority of major news outlets talked about the space launch as a failure. So I had to check for myself. I was disappointed with what I found. Many in the news used the explosion as a chance to dunk on Elon and SpaceX.  It was sad, but unfortunately, not unexpected anymore. 

The issue I found disheartening was the number of people who relied on the news for information. Many individuals, particularly children, believed that they were being educated by consuming news content. However, they were unwittingly being misled. The media's portrayal of this event as a failure deprived an entire generation of the pride and enthusiasm that this truly remarkable achievement deserved. It was, indeed, a monumental accomplishment for America and a day for every American to feel immense pride.

The launch of Starship serves as a Rorschach test. If one based their understanding on the news stories surrounding the event, they would perceive it as an utter failure and a colossal waste of time. Conversely, if one actually witnessed the launch, they would be filled with a sense of American pride, as well as an intense excitement and optimism for the future.

It often seems as though our nation is more divided and polarized than it has been in the past. While it is unclear whether this perception is accurate, the sentiment is undoubtedly pervasive. The SpaceX launch represented an opportunity for unity, a moment for us to come together and celebrate a truly remarkable achievement for humankind and America.

I’m reminded of one of my favorite quotes from Denzel Washington:  “If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you do read it, you’re misinformed.”

Choose your information sources wisely.  It could be the most important factor in your wellbeing.

In my next post I plan to talk about what I call my “News Diet” that I started about a year ago. It was one of my first challenges in the Year Of The Opposite. I had the realization that I had become a news and politics addict. I vowed to try my best to avoid the news and politics. Everyday I rate myself on the metric: “Avoid Politics & News: Focus on what I can control.” Next week I will talk about how I did it and how successful I was. (Spoiler alert: it’s SUPER hard to avoid news and politics.)

Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

* "I am still loveable even though death has touched me"

* "I hate you 4 dying,"

* "Mom, out of everybody you chose me to die on,"

* "love is watching someone die."

When I saw these notes, I knew that I had to join their Board. Ele's Place is a non-profit organization committed to ensuring that no child grieves alone. This outstanding organization serves an incredibly worthy cause and it operates with exceptional efficiency, directing the majority of its donations towards program implementation.

This week, we hosted the "Healing Hearts Breakfast," an event in which board members invite seven friends to learn more about Ele's Place, with the hope of encouraging them to support our mission. More than 350 people attended this weeks breakfast!

During the event, we listened to moving stories from three families who have benefited from the services provided by Ele's Place. It was an emotional rollercoaster.

It is alarming to learn that roughly 10% of children experience the loss of a parent before they turn 16. Ele's Place offers a safe, nurturing environment for these children to share their experiences with skilled counselors and peers who have experienced similar losses.

The breakfast was an incredibly poignant experience. Hearing the tragic and heart-wrenching stories of families who have lost loved ones deeply resonated with me. It's hard to comprehend the magnitude of loss and the accompanying grief that young children face during such challenging times.

When hearing the stories from these amazing kids I feel guilty. Somehow, I had been fortunate enough to go 41 years without experiencing the unexpected loss of a loved one. Although I have lost dear family members, such as my Grandpa Mike Brady, these losses were not sudden or unforeseen. Reflecting on the stories shared during the Healing Hearts Breakfast, I realized how incredibly fortunate I had been to have avoided such a loss, particularly given the sobering statistics.

I’ve been thinking a lot about grief this week because of that breakfast.

One of the things therapists recommend is to write about your feelings and thoughts as a way to get them out of your head. That is one of the reasons I started this newsletter. To write and share as a form of therapy for myself in the small hope that maybe it would help one person out there. I’ve been avoiding this topic but now seems like the time to address it given this weeks breakfast.

As I’ve said before, grief is what propelled me into a year of the opposite. In February of 2022 I lost a dear friend, Joe. A few months later, 2 more friends died. I was incapable of handling the grief and it sunk me into a depression.

I’m embarrassed to admit this but I didn’t really understand depression before experiencing it myself. When it hit me, it hit hard.

On February 21, 2022 I received a text from my good friend Mike saying:

“Really, really crap day boys. Just talked to Joe's sister. He's in really bad shape. Had a heart attack yesterday. In the ICU on a ventilator in Pontiac right now. Trying to figure out my schedule this week. They're only allowing one visitor from 5 - 8 pm. He was supposed to go back to rehab on Thursday.”

Within a few hours I had made the drive over to metro Detroit to be by Joe’s hospital bed. I had never seen anyone hooked up to so many medical devices. Machines were doing almost everything for his body. He was bloated and looked like he had significantly aged since I last saw him only a short 5 months before.

I don't think anyone will benefit from hearing the excruciating details of Joe's passing. As you would expect, it was devastating and profoundly sad. But I do want to mention the aspects that I believe are crucial to understanding my specific grief as it relates to Joes situation in hopes of potentially helping others.

The Visiting Hours

When Joe was in the hospital, it was nearly two years after the start of the Covid pandemic. Vaccines were widely available, and the novelty of the virus had largely worn off. “Novelty” meaning: most people had either been vaccinated or had previously contracted the illness by that time.

Yet, for some inexplicable and frustrating reason, the hospital still enforced a policy that allowed only one visitor to see Joe between 5 pm and 8 pm. Not one visitor at a time, but one visitor per day. His family members and friends had to choose who had the right to see him on any given day. Fortunately, I managed to slip past security and spend about ten minutes with him. If it weren't for my luck that one time, I wouldn't have been able to see him at all.

The hospital's rationale was that they were trying to protect patients and staff from Covid, and I don't blame them. I am confident that they were doing what they believed was in everyone's best interest. However, the policy had a profoundly damaging effect on me and, I believe, on his family.

For months, I couldn't shake the thought of Joe dying alone in his hospital bed with no one there to talk to him, advocate for him, or comfort him by holding his hand or covering him with a blanket.

This thought haunted me throughout my grieving process. I want to clarify that I do not fault the hospital and do not believe there was any malice or ill intent. However, I want to be honest about the personal impact of this policy because I believe these stories should inform future decisions.

With the benefit of hindsight, I think society should reflect on our choices and carefully evaluate whether the benefits genuinely outweighed the harms. Keeping friends and family away from dying loved ones should be done with extreme caution and care. I know firsthand that the damage inflicted can linger for a long time.

The Guilt

Two other aspects of Joe's passing haunted me. Firstly, I grappled with immense guilt. My friends and I had been aware of Joe's struggle with alcohol for years, and we had often considered organizing an intervention or, at the very least, having a serious conversation with him about our concerns and encouraging him to seek help. I felt guilty for never acting on that plan and couldn't help but wonder, "Could I have done more?"

To make matters worse, the last time I saw Joe was at an MSU Spartan Tailgate party, where we were all heavily consuming alcohol. Joe's unexpected arrival, drinking a hard seltzer, caught me off guard as he had been sober the last time we spoke. I didn't confront him about his drinking, believing it would be hypocritical to judge my friend while I was also indulging in excessive alcohol consumption.

These three factors - the hospital visiting hours, the guilt of not intervening, and not addressing Joe's drinking the last time I saw him - were the primary thoughts that tormented me about his loss.

It wasn't until after his funeral that I knew something needed to change.

Joe's funeral took place in a beautiful Catholic church in the metro Detroit area, with a large gathering of friends and family. Afterward, our group of friends went to a local restaurant and bar, where many of us had alcoholic drinks. My friend Ryan had joined us and he asked if he could drive my new car on the hour-long trip home. This was music to my ears because it meant that I didn't have to worry about driving. I now had a designated driver.

Consequently, I had three beers. I wasn't intoxicated, but I wouldn't have indulged if I were driving home. Reflecting on my actions later that night, I thought, "My close friend died from excessive drinking, and I drank at his funeral."

I felt foolish, like a fraud. I had been beating myself up over not organizing an intervention for Joe, yet I couldn't even honor him by abstaining from alcohol at his funeral. I felt like a hypocrite.

My relationship with alcohol has always been complicated.

When I was 12, my parents jokingly said, "If you don't drink until you're 21, we'll give you $1,000." Not a single person thought they were serious, except for me. I remembered that comment and frequently brought it up.

I embraced the challenge, and later, when my cousin Ryan, whom I idolized, decided not to drink, I followed suit. And, as a punk rock fan who enjoyed the band Minor Threat and the Straight Edge movement they helped create, I resolved not to drink alcohol until I was 21.

Not only did I abstain from drinking, but I took it a step further and made it a part of my identity. I occasionally wore big black X's on my hands, named my band X-Rated, and belonged to a close-knit group of friends who had mostly chosen not to drink.

It wasn't just that I didn't drink; I was vocal about it. In hindsight, I'm ashamed of some of my behavior. I was too judgmental about something I didn't understand and had never tried. From the age of 12 to 17, I was vocally opposed to alcohol consumption. But that started to change…

During my senior year of high school, while playing hockey, I suffered a terrible accident when another player's skate inflicted a six-inch-long wound on my throat.

I was rushed to emergency surgery, and during the procedure, the doctor told me I had been a mere quarter-inch away from death.

At just 17 years old, I had narrowly escaped death, and it led me to contemplate all the aspects of life I had yet to experience. One recurring thought was about alcohol and drugs. By this time, many of my friends had tried them without any severe consequences, and I wondered if I was too judgmental about something I had never experienced myself.

However, abstaining from alcohol had become my identity. It wasn’t easy to just change after committing to this policy so religiously and after I had proselytized it so strongly. Moreover, I had the prospect of winning $1,000 if I waited until I turned 21. So I waited.

At 12:01 am on my 21st birthday, I drank a bottle of Crystal Champagne, a choice inspired by my favorite artist. It wasn't the best first choice.

I didn't get drunk or even buzzed that first night, but I knew I wanted to try again. This set me on a new path. After getting drunk for the first time, I discovered that alcohol helped me overcome my natural shyness, making it easier to socialize and connect with a new group of friends who enjoyed partying and the bar/nightclub scene.

The realization that I enjoyed drinking alcohol and I could do so safely prompted me to reevaluate my other beliefs.

It’s hard for me to describe just how earth shattering this realization was for me. It was a bit like realizing that Santa didn’t exist. Or, maybe more similar, like believing in a religion for your entire life but then having a crisis of faith that makes you question everything that you had previously believed. It felt like everything I believed was wrong.

If my perception of alcohol had been so wrong, what other misconceptions might I hold?

This inquisitiveness led me down a potentially perilous path. Over the ensuing years, I experimented with a variety of drugs. In almost all cases, I just tried them once or twice to see how I reacted to them and to experience each of them for myself first hand.

I share this not out of pride but with a sense of self-admonishment. My actions were risky and dangerous. It could have ended badly. I feel like I was spiraling a bit. For the previous 21 years, I had a clear picture of “right and wrong” albeit lacking any first hand experience. Now I didn’t know what was “right” and what was “wrong”. The picture was much less clear. This experience ignited a profound curiosity to reassess other firmly-held beliefs that lacked a basis in my own firsthand experience. The situation could have taken a disastrous turn, but fortunately, it did not.

Luckily, I had pleasurable experiences trying all of the various drugs, but I didn’t continue using them. Except for one. Marijuana became a significant part of my life from age 21 to my mid-thirties. My identity shifted 180 degrees almost overnight. I went from "I don't drink or use drugs" to "I'm a pothead."

But surprisingly, contrary to stereotypes and cliches, marijuana motivated and invigorated me. I'm not sure if this was because I waited until I was 21 to try it, but it gave me direction and ambition. Kinda the opposite of the results that many people experience.

During this time, my career flourished. My salary increased, my performance improved, my job titles became more prestigious, and I earned equity in a company. I’m not sure if it’s correlation or causation. But it seemed that Marijuana work for me… until it didn't.

Around my 37th birthday, after smoking four or five joints in one night and still not feeling high enough, I had a moment of clarity. The routine of smoking weed had gotten consuming. As with most things, after using for so long I had to consume more and more to get the same effects.

It just wasn’t fun anymore. It wasn’t helping like it used to. So, because I’m a huge nerd, I wrote myself a note that read: "The weed isn't helping you anymore. It's just become an expensive and ugly habit. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results."

The next day I woke up and read the note. After smoking everyday for almost 15 years, I finished reading the note and decide I was quitting. And I did so that day.

It was a little challenging at first, mostly due to the habitual nature of it. I missed the process of preparing to smoke, and for some reason, it affected my appetite. But these minor effects only lasted a few days. It was surprisingly easy for me to stop.

So, for 21 years, I had refrained from using drugs or alcohol. Then, I radically switched and experimented with various substances for the next 15 years or so.

Fast forward to March of 2022: I'm grappling with Joe's death from alcohol and the fact that I drank at his funeral. As I mentioned before, my history with alcohol is complicated.

Unable to shake the guilt and sadness over Joe's death, I decided to make a change in his honor. Inspired by the Seinfeld episode "The Opposite" and the commencement speech "Just Make Your Bed," I started waking up early, making my bed, and flossing my teeth.

It was time to make another change. On March 15th, 2022, I stopped drinking. Much like with weed, I just stopped. I recognize that it's not easy for everyone, but I had the advantage of making this decision voluntarily rather than due to a problem or addiction. Also, Joe was a motivator for me. He gave me a bigger reason to stop.

Initially, I didn't plan to quit drinking for a year. I thought, "I'll stop for a while." But as time went on, a little while turned into a week, then a month, and eventually, I decided to make it a year. Now, 13 months into my alcohol-free journey, I have never felt better.

Of course, it’s not all due to me stopping drinking alcohol. I’ve made a lot of other positive changes since I quit. But by stopping drinking and weed, I unlocked a tremendous amount of time and resources that could now be redirected towards other uses. I no longer had to waste mornings to hangovers. No more wasting money buying rounds of shots for the entire bar of strangers. And my socializing could be redirected from shallow conversations at a noisy bar to a breakfast with a mentor that I hadn’t reconnected with in years. It’s not so much that the alcohol was holding me back. I just wasted so much time and money when I was drinking.

Something that became clear to me was that it wasn’t alcohol that was bad. In many ways, it was awesome. But I kept wondering. What was alcohol and weed helpful for? I think I discovered an answer for me.

Alcohol and weed make boring things enjoyable. I used to think that was amazing. You could make a boring dinner super enjoyable with alcohol! You could make sitting around a table for 3 hours talking about nothing seem incredibly fun (even if we didn’t remember it the next day). I used to think this was an amazing aspect of alcohol.

But now I realize, it was limiting me. Why was I content with doing boring things so much? Why not raise my expectations? Instead of just sitting around talking about nothing. Why not play pickle ball? Go for a run? Learn to shoot a bow and arrow? Or go to church and talk to an amazing pastor like Marvin or Jack?

Alcohol can make boring things super fun. And that’s awesome. But now I shoot my sights a little higher. I want to make fewer of my moments boring.

Let me be clear. I had a BLAST for the past 21 years while I was drinking. I don’t regret them at all. Luckily, I don’t regret drinking or using any drugs. They were all experiences that I needed to go through and they taught me a lot. I made a lot of great connections. And I still love being around my friends when they are drinking. I don’t look down on alcohol at all. But I think I’m in a new period of my life right now.

It’s possible that I may drink alcohol again in the future. I haven’t ruled it out. But for right now I’m thinking that I run my life in seasons. 21 years at a time.

Rest in peace Joe.

Now, I can almost hear your thoughts: "Losing 40lbs in one year isn't healthy! He must've used weight loss drugs or surgery, lost a ton of muscle mass, and it's probably unsustainable." Trust me, I'd be thinking the exact same thing.

Allow me to address those concerns. My weight loss journey has been focused on achieving the healthiest possible results. By most standards, I'm currently in the best shape of my life. At 42, I can run faster and farther than I could at 16. (Although, let's be honest, that doesn't say much about my teenage athleticism. But I digress.)

The driving force behind my health transformation was the desire to break free from the medications I'd been taking for various lifestyle-induced ailments. Don't get me wrong, I have immense respect for the wonders of modern medicine. However, after relying on daily medications for seven long years, I was increasingly uneasy about the prospect of continuing that regimen for the rest of my life. Even the safest medications come with side effects. Everything does. So, I was determined to escape the unsettling dependence on pills for my well-being.

Given my goal to ditch prescription medications, it should be clear (but I'll say it explicitly, just in case): I did not resort to weight loss drugs or surgeries. My approach was as natural as possible, as my primary objectives are longevity and healthspan. I want to live a long, healthy life and, in the end, go out swiftly. That's my motto: "Live long and die quickly."

I want to clarify that I'm not against weight loss drugs. In fact, quite the contrary. I've actually invested in Novo Nordisk, the company behind Semaglutide, Wegovy, and Ozempic. I'll admit, this investment has yielded a significant profit for me. Semaglutide is a GLP-1 receptor agonist, which means it mimics the action of human incretin glucagon-like peptide-1 (GLP-1). This increases insulin secretion, enhances blood sugar disposal, and improves glycemic control. 

So, what does Semaglutide do? It suppresses hunger and promotes a feeling of fullness. It also helps your body regulate blood sugar levels more effectively. By reducing hunger, you consume less food. The outcomes have been remarkable, with people losing 10-20% of their body weight in just 12-20 weeks. Some experts are already saying that these revolutionary weight loss drugs are experiencing the fastest growth since Viagra. Rumor has it that many individuals in the entertainment industry and Los Angeles are using it, leading to a shortage of the drug.

But let me reel myself back from that Semaglutide endorsement and clear up any confusion. No, I didn't use any weight loss drugs to shed the pounds. That doesn't mean I'm against them; it's just that they didn't align with my personal objectives. My goal is to live as long as possible, preferably with minimal reliance on medication.

What about muscle mass? It appears that I may have lost some, although I don't have any entirely accurate measurements. My Renpho scale indicates that I've lost 5lbs of muscle mass over the past year and 15lbs since 2018. This is disappointing, but it could be a measurement issue. Despite these numbers, I've been strength training and am now stronger than when I began. I've consistently increased the weight on exercises like overhead presses, seated leg presses, bicep curls, lateral pulldowns, and lateral raises. My scale may say I've lost muscle, but my strength has undeniably improved. It might be a case of measurement error.

Is this sustainable? That's undoubtedly the most critical question, and I honestly don't know. I wish I could predict the future. I do experience significant slip-ups; for instance, I gained 10lbs in just one week around Thanksgiving. However, I believe I've cultivated lifelong habits, not just a temporary weight loss strategy. This ties back to my previous post, which offers actionable tips for building lasting habits.

Why am I sharing all this? I believe that if you're considering embarking on a weight loss journey, it's essential to start with a solid foundation. Establish your goals from the outset, ensure your chosen strategy is sustainable and aligns with your objectives, and consistently track your progress. Remember, my plan doesn't have to be your plan; I'm simply sharing what worked for me.

How did I achieve my weight loss?

* I ate less food.

* I ate less often.

* I opted for less processed food.

* I increased my protein intake and reduced carbs.

* I stopped drinking calories, cutting out soda and alcohol.

* I began exercising daily.

* I monitored my weight, blood pressure, VO2 Max, and heart rate on a daily or weekly basis.

Nothing extraordinary here, but let me share the strategies I used to create new habits that made this weight loss journey work for me.

I Ate Less Food:

A significant portion of my eating habits was driven by routine. For example, I would automatically supersize my fast food orders or always have a Coca-Cola Classic with dinner. If food was on my plate, I felt compelled to finish it. To eat less, I needed to break these habits.

I decided not to drink my calories, which meant giving up Coca-Cola with dinner. I also made a conscious effort to reduce portion sizes and not force myself to finish every meal. Additionally, I started paying attention to calorie counts, realizing that even "healthy" options like salads could be deceptively high in calories. Sometimes the salad that I thought was healthy actually had more calories than the cookie I was avoiding (not that the cookie is healthy; it's just shocking to me how many calories can be packed into a salad).

I aimed for a daily intake of 2,000 calories, but I wasn't obsessive about it. I didn't track every single food that I ate in My Fitness Pal, as I had done before because I found it tedious and annoying. Instead, I used calories as a way to compare food items. For instance, if I was at a restaurant and the salad had 1,200 calories while the grilled chicken meal had 400 calories, I would opt for the chicken. The value here wasn't in making a detailed log calculating how many calories I ate all day; rather, it was learning what low-calorie meals looked like. Just because it looks healthy or sounds healthy doesn't mean it is.

The most significant change came from applying the principles in the book "Atomic Habits." I used "The Four Laws of Behavior Change" to create new habits: make it obvious, make it attractive, make it easy, and make it satisfying. Instead of surrounding myself with Chex Mix, Coca-Cola, and Miller Lite, I opted for mixed nuts, decaffeinated tea, and San Pellegrino.

To resist unhealthy temptations, I applied the "Inversion of the Four Laws": make it invisible, make it unattractive, make it difficult, and make it unsatisfying. We eliminated all the sweets and junk food we used to have around the house.

This was, by far, the most significant and easiest change. It's quite simple: if you want to eat less unhealthy food, don't keep it around. If you want to eat better, make nutritious options readily available and enjoyable.

I Ate Less Often

For the most part I switched from 3 meals a day to 2 or 1 meal.  There is a saying that I love. “Abs aren’t made in the gym, they are made in the kitchen.” 

The saying is based on the idea that it's easier to gain calories than to burn them through exercise. For instance, eating a couple of pieces of pizza can take in the same amount of calories as an hour of swimming. It's much more practical to reduce your daily caloric intake by 400-600 calories than to exercise for an hour to create the same calorie deficit. Now with that being said, I still don’t have abs. So what do I know.

One of the biggest mistakes I would make when I was trying to lose weight in the past was that I would immediately adopt a rigorous workout routine. This would cause me to be hungrier and I would in turn eat more food.  At best I would maintain the same weight, but in many cases, I would actually gain weight! This would make me quite depressed as I thought I was doing everything right but I was actually performing the most common mistake in weight loss.  Remember: Abs are made in the kitchen. That means if you’re trying to fix your weight, it’s imperative that you focus on how much you eat, how often you eat, and what you eat. 

As a part of eating less often, I followed Dr. Andrew Huberman’s tips. (

* Don’t eat anything within 1 hour of waking. 

* Don’t eat anything or drink any calories within 2-3 hours of sleep. 

* Have an 8-hour feeding window. Your ideal time for meals should be between 11am and 7pm if you follow a normal sleeping schedule. 

This will do a bunch of positive things. You’ll get caloric restriction without having to count calories, you’ll get better sleep, and some studies have shown that just this action will have a small reduction in blood pressure. 

Fasting, or eating less often, has benefits well beyond weight loss.  

* Fasting can improve your memory https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8470960/ 

* Fasting can help with metabolic disorders like type 2 diabetes https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6521152/

* Fasting can help you lose weight https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7021351/ 

* Fasting helps your heart and can lower your blood pressure and lower your resting heart rate https://academic.oup.com/ehjopen/article/1/2/oeab026/6363797?login=false

I eat less processed foods and more whole foods. 

Nothing revolutionary here. We’ve all been told it a million times but it certainly works. I eat less processed foods and more fruits, vegetables, and a lot of meat. I define processed foods as things that have been altered with preservatives, sweeteners, flavors or colors. Whole foods are just foods that don’t have any of that stuff. 

Research has consistently shown that consuming whole foods is better than consuming processed foods. For example, a study published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition found that people who ate a diet high in whole, unprocessed foods had a lower risk of developing type 2 diabetes than those who ate a diet high in processed foods. Another study published in the Journal of Nutrition found that people who ate more whole foods had a lower risk of developing heart disease than those who ate more processed foods.

The studies: 

* American Journal of Clinical Nutrition study on whole foods and type 2 diabetes: https://academic.oup.com/ajcn/article/87/4/1081/4633373

* Journal of Nutrition study on whole foods and heart disease: https://academic.oup.com/jn/article/143/9/1445/4571691

* Journal of the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics study on whole foods and nutrient intake: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2212267213005145

I increased my protein intake and reduced carbs.

This is a controversial subject as everything in weight loss is.  There are definitely studies that show people that eat a vegetarian diet live longer and lose weight.  But for me personally, a diet high in protein and reduced carbohydrates seems to work best.  

For me, eating a lot of protein can be really helpful for weight loss. I find that protein makes me feel full and less hungry, so I end up eating less overall. Plus, protein requires a lot of energy for my body to digest, which means that I burn more calories just by eating it. Eating enough protein also helps keep my muscles healthy and strong, which is really important for my overall health. Some studies even suggest that eating more protein might help me burn more calories throughout the day. Eating a diet high in protein really worked for me. 

Here are the studies: 

* A study published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition found that a high protein diet can help reduce body weight and fat mass when compared to a lower protein diet. The study also found that high protein diets can help preserve lean body mass during weight loss. https://academic.oup.com/ajcn/article/87/5/1558S/4650426

* Another study published in the Journal of Nutrition found that a high protein diet can lead to greater weight loss and fat loss compared to a lower protein diet. The study also found that a high protein diet can help reduce hunger and increase feelings of fullness. https://academic.oup.com/jn/article/133/2/411S/4817941

* A meta-analysis published in the International Journal of Obesity found that a high protein diet can result in greater weight loss and fat loss compared to a low protein diet. The study also found that a high protein diet can help improve several markers of cardiovascular health, including blood pressure and cholesterol levels. https://www.nature.com/articles/0803692

I stopped drinking calories, cutting out soda and alcohol.

I used to drink a ton of calories without even realizing it. I would drink one or two Coca-Colas with lunch and dinner, and I would also drink quite a bit of delicious beer. I didn't realize that there were so many calories in these drinks. But after learning about the dangers of drinking calories, I decided to make a change. Drinking sugary drinks like soda or beer can cause weight gain and increase the risk of developing health problems like diabetes and heart disease. Plus, they don't fill you up like food does, so you can consume a lot of calories without even feeling full. I decided to switch to water, unsweetened tea, decaffeinated hot tea, San Pellegrino (Bubble water as Lane calls it), or coffee sometimes. This easily cut 300 to 400 calories out of my day with one change. 

I also learned a trick. Every time I felt myself getting “hungry” I would consume a lot of water, tea, or bubble water.  It turned out that in 95% of the cases, drinking a lot of water would cure my hunger.  I’m not sure why this worked so well but it did.  And to cure my night cravings, I started drinking hot tea before bed.  This gave me a little bit of flavor without any calories. This was a huge win for me.  It stopped me from binge eating before bed but still gave me a little mental satisfaction of getting some flavor and the routine of consuming something. I highly recommend trying this. 

The compounding effects of drinking alcohol and weight gain. 

The compounding effects of drinking alcohol and weight gain can be significant. I learned this the hard way when I noticed that indulging in occasional alcoholic drinks had a compounding effect on my weight. Not only was I consuming empty calories in the drink itself, but it also had two other major impacts on my weight. Firstly, it interfered with my sleep, which in turn can lead to weight gain. However, the second factor was even more significant. After drinking, I would consume a large amount of unhealthy food. Sometimes it would be an entire large pizza, or every single bag of chips in the house. It was a gluttonous habit that impressed even me. However, I soon realized that by cutting down on drinking, I was able to control my food intake much better.

I started exercising every day. 

While I'm not an expert on the topic, I found a routine that worked for me. I realized the main reason my previous attempts at working out had failed was due to a lack of consistency. I always found an excuse not to exercise, whether it was not having enough time, not having the right equipment, or not being in the mood. So, my first goal was to eliminate all my excuses.

I decided to do a 7-minute HIIT workout on my Apple Watch. It's quick, so I never had the excuse of not having enough time. The only thing I needed was my watch and my own body weight, so I could do it anywhere at any time. It's also not a very strenuous workout, so I don't break out in a sweat and need to change my clothes. I've even done this workout in dress clothes! It doesn't require me to go to the gym, so I never have that excuse. I've done this workout in hotels, basements, outside, in living rooms, and at the gym. It's incredibly versatile.

This may not be the best workout, but that wasn't my goal. I was focused on building the habit of exercising every day. Every. Single. Day. I didn't miss a single day in 365 days. I did it at 5 am and 11 pm. I did it in Lansing and in Vegas.

I never pushed myself too hard during the workout. If I was tired and couldn't do push-ups, I would do them on my knees. If I was feeling lazy, I wouldn't do full lunges. But I always did the workout. Most days, I pushed myself, but even on the tough days, I never let my lack of motivation hold me back from going through the motions. I always did the workout.

I monitored my weight, blood pressure, VO2 Max, and heart rate on a daily or weekly basis.

The old saying goes you can’t fix what you don’t measure.  Or something like that.  Everyone knows I’m a data nerd. This process was no different. Here are the tools I used: 

* Apple Watch Ultra: The Apple Watch Ultra is a wearable device that tracks various health metrics, including heart rate, blood oxygen levels, sleep patterns, and physical activity. It can also monitor and analyze data related to different types of workouts, such as running, cycling, and swimming.

* Renpho Digital Scale: The Renpho Digital Scale is a smart scale that measures various health metrics, including weight, BMI, body fat percentage, muscle mass, and more. It syncs with the Renpho app, which provides a detailed analysis of the data and tracks progress over time.

* iHealth Blood Pressure Monitor: The iHealth Blood Pressure Monitor is a device that measures blood pressure and heart rate. It connects to a smartphone app, which stores the data and provides personalized recommendations to help manage hypertension.

* Apple Health app: The Apple Health app is a central hub that integrates data from various health tracking devices and apps, including the Apple Watch, Renpho Digital Scale, and iHealth Blood Pressure Monitor. It tracks a wide range of health metrics, such as heart rate, sleep patterns, nutrition, and more, and provides personalized insights and recommendations based on the data.

I also tracked my habits on Way Of Life the app. And I started journaling about my day every night.  These two things were very important for helping keep track of my progress.  I plan to do an entire article on the importance of journaling. 

So that’s it.  Nothing world changing here. But it worked. I transformed my life by adopting this straightforward method in March 2022, and it genuinely made a significant impact on my health. Within six months, my ASCVD risk estimator (risk of having a heart attack in the next 10 years) improved from 16% to 2%, and my doctors officially cleared me of all medical conditions, including high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high triglycerides, and impaired fasting glucose. My cardiac fitness VO2 Max also improved, showing how these changes may have saved my life.

Thank you so much for being a subscriber. Please email me and let me know if you have any feedback or if you enjoyed this. I would really appreciate it.

For the time being, I've chosen to blend both approaches when appropriate. Initially, I believe it's essential for me to share my personal journey with the Year of the Opposite and the outcomes I experienced. But when possible, I'll shift the focus towards being more general and actionable, since that's the kind of content I personally enjoy reading.

During my peer mentoring sessions, I picked up an invaluable lesson: "Speak from experience. Don't give advice." I feel this insight is particularly relevant here.

In my previous post, I talked about how, after Joe's passing, I was unable to shake off my depression, becoming quite the burden for my loved ones. I knew I needed to change something, so I embarked on the "Year of the Opposite."

I believe it's crucial to begin by disclosing the extent of the deterioration in my health, to provide you with some context. Since selling Liquid Web in 2015, I had been plagued by Essential hypertension (high blood pressure), Hyperlipidemia (high cholesterol), Hypertriglyceridemia (high triglycerides), Impaired fasting glucose, Rosacea, below-average cardiac fitness (Vo2Max), occasional bouts of gout, and at one point, my weight had soared to a staggering 246 lbs.

I feel quite self-conscious sharing that photo, and it's challenging to put it out there. My discomfort stems not only from vanity, although I admit that plays a role, but also from the fact that this period of my life, when I was at my heaviest, coincided with the birth of my first and (currently) only child. The best parenting advice I've ever received is: "Give them a good example to look up to."

Unfortunately, I was setting a terrible example for my son. Worse still, at this period in my life, according to the American College of Cardiology ASCVD Risk Estimator, I faced a 16% chance of dying from a cardiac event within the next decade.

My original goal was not to improve my health or lose weight, but to cure my depression. However, having already committed to tackling my depression through the Year of the Opposite, I decided that some of my initial "opposites" would focus on my health. At the beginning stages of my journey, I wasn't yet aware of the extensive scientific evidence supporting the significant impact of exercise, diet, and sleep on an individual's happiness and mental well-being.

The research is very compelling that physical activity is 1.5 times more effective than counseling or the leading medications.

Step 1 of the Year of the Opposite: Select a new "simple" habit that is an alteration in your daily routine that you can consistently commit to performing every single day.

* The alteration you introduce shouldn't be an insurmountable task. Instead, it should be achievable, beneficial, straightforward, and distinct from your typical routine, ensuring that you can consistently incorporate it into your daily life.

* Good Ideas for First Steps:

* Wake Up Early & Make The Bed (What I choose)

* Take a walk

* Write a journal for 5 minutes

* Floss your teeth

* Read for 5 minutes

* Call a friend

* Bad Ideas For First Steps

* Go to the gym everyday (Too easy to break, it’s hard to get to the gym every single day)

* Eat healthy (Again, too easy to break. Too Vague & no one eats healthy every day)

* Stop using Social Media/Tech/Etc (Too many things require it. Too hard to maintain. It’s good to cut back, but hard to completely eliminate.)

* Bike ride instead of use a car (Too hard. Especially if you have snow)

* Give up drinking, smoking, drugs, etc (Great goal. But too hard to start. You want a simple win on this first goal)

The first step's goal is to achieve a small success that you can build on. You should choose something that is simple, but not necessarily easy. Remember, "simple" and "easy" are different.

"Easy" means you can do something without trying hard, while "simple" means it's not complicated and is easy to understand, but you still need to put in effort.

Once you've picked your first habit, try to do it every day! It might sound tough, but believe in yourself – you can do it!

Step 2: Track Your Progress, Celebrate Your Wins, & Repeat Every Single Day

As I embarked on this journey, I came across an exceptional book that became an instant favorite. "Atomic Habits" by James Clear provides invaluable insights into cultivating positive habits and dismantling negative ones. I wholeheartedly recommend this book. Below are the key takeaways I gathered from "Atomic Habits":

* The 1% Rule: Focus on making tiny, 1% improvements each day, which will compound over time and lead to significant growth.

* Habit Stacking: Combine new habits with existing ones by using the formula "After [current habit], I will [new habit]." This helps to integrate new habits seamlessly into your daily routine.

* Environment Design: Set up your environment to make good habits easy to follow and bad habits difficult to maintain. This includes minimizing distractions and making desired behaviors more accessible.

* The Two-Minute Rule: Break down new habits into small actions that can be completed in under two minutes, making it easier to get started and maintain momentum.

* The Four Laws of Behavior Change: To create a new habit, follow these four steps – make it obvious, make it attractive, make it easy, and make it satisfying.

* The Inversion of the Four Laws: To break a bad habit, do the opposite of the Four Laws – make it invisible, make it unattractive, make it difficult, and make it unsatisfying.

* Habit Tracking: Monitor your habits using a habit tracker to maintain awareness of your progress and maintain motivation.

* The Goldilocks Rule: Engage in habits that challenge you just enough to stay in the zone of optimal difficulty, keeping you motivated and engaged.

* Identity-Based Habits: Focus on adopting the identity of the person you want to become, rather than solely concentrating on the outcomes you want to achieve.

* Temptation Bundling: Pair an activity you need to do (but may not enjoy) with an activity you love, making it more appealing to complete the less enjoyable task.

At the time, I didn't recognize it, but my Step 2 closely aligned with the principles from "Atomic Habits." I employed several of its strategies, with Habit Tracking and Habit Stacking likely being the most significant.

* Habit Tracking: Securing early successes is crucial, and you can't improve something without monitoring it. That's why tracking your performance is essential. I use an app called "Way of Life" for habit tracking. However, the tool itself isn't as important as the process. Don't let tools hinder your progress. You can utilize a notepad, calendar, Google Sheet, Habit Journal, or anything else that works for you. The key is to track your progress daily.

* Consistency is crucial: However, don't let the pursuit of perfection undermine your progress. The age-old saying holds true—nobody is perfect. It's likely that you'll miss a day or make a mistake, and that's alright. The important thing is to acknowledge it, confront the lapse, and then resume your efforts without delay. This is why it's essential to choose a first habit that is simple to achieve.

* Take It Slow: If you're like me, you'll begin to experience immediate benefits once you consistently achieve a goal. It's quite remarkable, actually. It may seem odd that a straightforward task like making your bed every day could provide a sense of satisfaction, but it did for me. It demonstrated that I was capable of change. Keep in mind that, in my entire 40 years of living, I had never consistently made my bed, so this was a significant shift, despite its simplicity. The key is not to let this initial accomplishment convince you that you can conquer the world. For now, focus on simplicity, consistency, and progress tracking. Just because you've made one small change for a few days doesn't mean the habit is firmly established. The most crucial aspect is to complete this one simple habit every single day.

Your aim in Step 2 is to create what "Atomic Habits" calls "Identity-Based Habits." Focus on adopting the identity of the person you want to become, rather than just concentrating on the outcomes you want to achieve.

If your habit is to walk every day, you want to be a walker. If your habit is to wake up and make the bed, you want to be an early riser. If your habit is to read a passage every day, you want to be a reader. If your habit is to journal every day, you want to be a writer.

Identity-based habits involve taking on a new self-image to encourage lasting change. For example, if someone wants to change from staying up late to waking up early, they should adopt the identity of an "early riser."

To practice this identity-based approach, the person should start with small, consistent actions that match their new self-image. In my example, I slowly adjusted my bedtime and wake-up time, set an alarm to wake up, and made a new rule that if I woke up early naturally, I would get out of bed and start my day instead of trying to go back to sleep. These actions supported my new identity as an early riser.

Additionally, I thought about any limiting beliefs, like the idea that I wasn't a "morning person," and replaced them with empowering beliefs that lined up with my desired identity. I wasn’t a “night owl that woke up early today”. I was “an early riser”. It seems like a small change, but eliminating that limiting belief is surprisingly powerful.

Limiting beliefs are negative thoughts or assumptions about yourself, others, or the world that stop you from reaching your full potential. These beliefs often come from past experiences, society's influence, or learned behaviors, and they can create a mental barrier that keeps you from growing and achieving.

Limiting beliefs can show up in different ways, such as doubts about your abilities, fears of failure, or beliefs that some goals are impossible. They can slow down progress by affecting your mindset, actions, and overall view of life. By finding and challenging these beliefs, you can replace them with more empowering thoughts, which can help unlock your potential and enable you to go after your goals more effectively.

The goal here is to identify your limiting beliefs and face them.

Sadly, you may find that some of your friends and family hold limiting beliefs about you and they may try to enforce that old image onto you. It’s important to remember that for many people, your changes don’t inspire them, they confront them. People may not like that you are changing because it exposes the fact that they are not. Ignore those people. Don’t let others place limiting beliefs on you. This isn’t that big of an issue with a change like ‘waking up early’. But when we get to changes like running barefoot… or giving up alcohol if you choose to… you’ll see this behavior come up a lot from friends and family.

Once you feel pretty confident that you've become the person with this new habit, and it's not just a goal you're trying to achieve, you can move on to step number three. This could take you a week, or it could take you all year, but don't move on to step 3 until you've developed an identity-based habit.

You don't have to be perfect, but once you can confidently say, "I'm a walker," "I'm an early riser," or "I'm a reader" - and your significant other won't laugh at you! - then you're ready to move on to step 3. Don't rush it.

Step 3: Habit Stacking

Next you’re going to Habit Stack. Habit stacking is a technique where you build a new habit by linking it to an existing one. This approach makes it easier to incorporate new habits into your daily routine, as you're using the established habit as a trigger for the new behavior.

In my case, I had successfully established the habit of waking up early and making my bed each morning. Once I felt confident that this habit was firmly in place, I decided to stack another habit on top of it - flossing my teeth daily. This was an area I had struggled with my entire life, and I dreaded admitting my shortcomings to my hygienist twice a year. Despite my genuine desire and promises to her that I would floss, I just couldn't stick with it. By employing habit stacking, I was able to overcome this issue once and for all.

To do this, I took advantage of the momentum and structure provided by my existing habit of making the bed.

Every morning, after making the bed, I would go straight to the bathroom and floss my teeth. By associating the new habit with the existing one, I created a natural, seamless transition between the two activities. Over time, the act of making my bed automatically triggered the thought of flossing my teeth, making it much easier to maintain both habits consistently.

In this way, habit stacking allowed me to build upon my success with waking up early and making the bed, leading to the successful integration of flossing my teeth daily into my routine.

I'm aware that everything I've mentioned may come across as remarkably simple, right? To be honest, I can't help but feel a tad embarrassed discussing it. As others are constructing spaceships bound for Mars, founding multi-billion-dollar enterprises, or mastering the ability to walk once more, I find myself sharing thoughts on making my bed and flossing my teeth. I realize it appears ludicrous. Nevertheless, for reasons unknown, this method has been successful for me, and it seems to resonate with others too.

And remember: ‘Simple’ doesn’t mean ‘Easy’. Everything here is very simple. But that doesn’t make it easy.

Employing this straightforward method enabled me to establish lasting habits and genuinely transform my life. It's not an exaggeration to say that these changes might have saved my life.

So let’s talk about the results. Remember that when I started this journey in March of 2022, according to the American College of Cardiology ASCVD Risk Estimator, I faced a 16% chance of dying from a cardiac event within the next decade.

Just 6 months later on September 19, 2022 I had a doctors appointment and was given some of the best news of my entire life. My ASCVD Risk Estimator, the risk of me dying from a cardiac event in 10 years, went from 16% to 2%!

My doctors officially cleared me! I was able to stop taking all of my medications and all of my medical conditions had been resolved. My Health Conditions resolved:

* Essential hypertension (high blood pressure)

* Hyperlipidemia (high cholesterol)

* Hypertriglyceridemia (high triglycerides)

* Impaired fasting glucose

* Rosacea

* below average cardiac fitness (Vo2Max)

While I wasn't able to cover every step that led me to where I am today, I promise to share more in my upcoming article. This article was getting kinda long and I didn’t want to bore you.

In the next installment, I'll delve deeper into my personal journey, provide insight on my blood work results and biomarkers, and continue to try to offer actionable steps for those who wish to embark on their own journey of self-improvement.

Thank you for taking the time to read my article. Your support means everything to me. If you found this helpful, would you kindly let me know by replying to this email? I value your feedback and appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have.

The usual disclaimers:

I want to acknowledge that none of the accomplishments I've shared with you are particularly remarkable or profound. I recognize that I am not the first person to use the methods and strategies that have worked for me, and I have likely been influenced by others without realizing it and without properly crediting them. For that oversight, I apologize.

I am sharing my story not because I think it's amazing or unique, but because it is a testament to the power of simplicity and consistency. By adopting small, manageable habits and sticking to them every day, I was able to transform my life in just one year.

It's often said that people overestimate what they can accomplish in a year and underestimate what they can achieve in a decade. While I believe that's true, I also learned that I am capable of more than I ever imagined in just 365 days. And I know you are too. I want to be your biggest cheerleader.

* Travis Stoliker | The Year Of The Opposite.

Uplift Weekly - Humans Are Awesome

In this week's Uplight Weekly, we have an incredible news story from Devon, United Kingdom, that I find particularly interesting given my past experience with Liquid Web and its energy consumption. I've always been troubled by the amount of energy our data centers used, especially knowing that most of the power was wasted in cooling off the machines. The story we're featuring today highlights a practical, community-oriented solution that tackles this very issue and has even allowed some swimming pools to reopen.

Data centers house numerous computers and servers that perform complex tasks, such as storing and processing vast amounts of information. These tasks require a significant amount of electrical power, and as the computers work, they generate heat. To prevent overheating and ensure the systems continue to function properly, data centers have to invest in cooling systems that consume even more energy. Unfortunately, this often results in a considerable amount of power being wasted, as much of it is used just to cool off the machines.

In the United Kingdom, energy prices have increased substantially and this has caused some public pools to be forced to close due to financial issues. A washing-machine-sized data center in Devon has found a clever way to make use of its excess heat generation by using it to heat a public swimming pool. The data center, provided by startup Deep Green, is surrounded by oil to capture the heat, which is then used to heat the pool to about 30°C 60% of the time, saving Exmouth Leisure Centre thousands of pounds. This partnership has really helped the leisure center reduce its astronomical energy and gas costs over the last 12 months.

The concept, developed over five years, is relatively straightforward: hot oil is pumped into a heat exchanger to warm the water in the pool. Deep Green, which specializes in providing computing power for artificial intelligence and machine learning, also refunds the leisure center's electricity costs for running the "digital boiler." Seven other swimming pools in England have already signed up for the scheme. As energy prices soar, this innovative solution helps cut costs and prevent pool closures due to financial constraints. In fact, since 2019, 65 swimming pools had closed, with rising energy costs cited as a significant reason, and this solution has allowed some of them to reopen.

In the future, this could inspire other creative ways to repurpose excess heat generated by data centers, reducing their environmental impact and benefiting communities. For instance, similar solutions could be employed to heat schools, hospitals, or even residential buildings, making it a sustainable and community-oriented approach to energy consumption. This story exemplifies the power of innovation and the potential for technology to positively impact society.

This technology could also be used for cryptocurrency mining operations, as they share similarities with data centers in terms of heat generation and energy consumption. Crypto mining involves the use of powerful computers to solve complex mathematical problems, which in turn validate transactions on the blockchain network. This process requires substantial computational power and consequently generates a significant amount of heat.

Applying the same concept as the Devon data center, excess heat from cryptocurrency mining operations could be captured and repurposed for heating purposes, such as warming swimming pools, buildings, or other facilities. This would not only make the crypto mining process more energy-efficient and environmentally friendly but also contribute to local communities by reducing their heating costs and dependence on traditional energy sources.

* Share the outcomes of my Year of The Opposite journey, detailing the process and the lessons learned.

* Feature inspiring and uplifting stories that showcase Humans Being Awesome.

* Present engaging video and audio podcast interviews with fascinating individuals discussing topics that will pique your interest.

You may wonder how uplifting weekly stories and video interviews relate to living a Year of The Opposite. The truth is, my journey did not end after just one year—I'm now in the second year and embracing new challenges.

This year, my focus is on creating and contributing positively to the world. One way I'm doing this is by sharing heartening stories that highlight positivity. Another is by conducting video and audio interviews with a diverse range of people and sharing their insights with a broader audience. Both of these endeavors are new to me, marking fresh challenges in my second year of living the opposite.

As I prepare to interview people from all walks of life, I want to make one thing absolutely clear. It's a point that should go without saying but seems to be frequently misunderstood:

Interviewing someone does not equate to an endorsement of their views, actions, or words. It does not imply my support or agreement with everything they've said or done. While I hope to have guests whose views align with mine, I also aim to feature those whose perspectives diverge from my own.

I firmly believe that a healthy society is one in which we can respectfully disagree and still engage in conversation.

Furthermore, I acknowledge that I may occasionally make incorrect, imprecise, or misleading statements on the show. My goal is to minimize these errors and promptly correct and update the record to clarify any inaccuracies. I invite you to assist me in this process. Additionally, please understand that these conversations occur at a specific point in time, and my opinions may evolve over time or differ from those expressed in the show.

I aspire to remain humble and open-minded, willing to update and change my views when confronted with new and better information. After all, that's what learning is all about.

Now that we've addressed that, I'm thrilled to introduce the newsletter and video podcast that will be released tomorrow.

In this week's publication, I'll be sharing a video interview that delves into the harrowing story of Claude McCollum's wrongful conviction for the 2005 rape and murder of an LCC professor. This gripping account involves a Lansing man who was unjustly imprisoned, an attorney who worked tirelessly to exonerate him, an assistant prosecuting attorney who may have concealed evidence from the defense, and a serial killer who terrorized Lansing and confessed to six murders.

Thank you for subscribing to the newsletter, and I hope you have a fantastic weekend.

If you would like to support this project, please consider becoming a paid subscriber by clicking below.

* Travis Stoliker

Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a paid subscriber.

Many of you are my friends, while others have yet to make my acquaintance. So it’s probably a good idea if I start with a brief introduction. I'm a tech and marketing professional who helped build a web hosting company, LiquidWeb, alongside my friends Matt, Chris, Jer, and Gregg. Together, we grew the company to employ 480 employees on two continents and achieve $70 million in Annual Recurring Revenue (ARR). In 2015, we successfully sold the company to a private equity firm for a staggering $224 million.

I've seldom mentioned this, as it may come across as boastful, but I became a multi-millionaire before reaching the age of 35. The wealth I amassed at such a young age exceeded my wildest expectations. This early financial success led me to believe that I had achieved life's ultimate goal, which I dubbed my "fake retirement." I didn't have a boss, so I indulged in late-night routines, sleeping until 2 pm and staying awake until 4 am. I often wore black t-shirts and sweatpants, projecting a slovenly image and demeanor. I ate whatever I pleased, avoided exercising, and generally shied away from physical activities. I even sported a shirt that mockingly read "SPORTS!" as an ironic statement.

Before long, my unhealthy lifestyle began to take its toll.

I gained over 60 pounds and developed a myriad of health issues, including high blood pressure, elevated triglycerides, high cholesterol, rosacea, and poor cardiac fitness. Simple tasks like climbing stairs left me sweating profusely, as I found myself in abysmal physical condition.

My well-intentioned and caring doctors were quick to prescribe medications to address the various health issues resulting from my lifestyle. They prescribed fish oil for cholesterol management, Prednisone and Colchicine to combat gout, Valsartan to lower high blood pressure, and Fenofibrate to reduce elevated triglycerides.

In no time, I found myself taking four pills daily. They appeared to be effective, at least initially, as my levels decreased. However, as I failed to make any lifestyle changes, my levels gradually began to rise again. Consequently, my dosages increased, putting me on an unsustainable and potentially harmful trajectory.

Despite my poor health, life had its bright spots. I married an incredible woman who, I felt, was truly out of my league. Together, we had a son. I fulfilled my dreams of owning a lake house and a boat, and even drove a Tesla, allowing me to feel somewhat environmentally conscious amid my luxurious lifestyle. Additionally, I invested in companies that piqued my interest and became an active member of local boards that aligned with my passions.

But suddenly, everything changed in February of 2022. My close friend Joe died of a heart attack due in part to alcohol abuse. Remarkably, throughout my 41 years of life, I had been fortunate enough to avoid experiencing the sudden loss of anyone close to me. Joe's passing deeply affected me, and I struggled to cope with the intense grief I encountered for the first time in my life.

In July 2022, just a short while later, I faced the devastating loss of my best friend since age 2, Matt Hill, the founder of Liquidweb, who passed away at 41. Tragedy struck again merely 10 days later when my wife's cousin, a friend, and the officiant at our wedding, was fatally injured by a door in a bizarre accident. 

Despite my life appearing perfect by most standards, the overwhelming grief and confluence of these events plunged me into clinical depression. I would awaken feeling despondent and retire to bed with the same heavy sadness, struggling to find a sense of purpose.

Rationally, I understood that my experiences paled in comparison to the hardships faced by others. This realization brought about feelings of guilt, making me question my right to feel depressed when I seemingly had it all. Yet, I found myself unable to break free from the grip of this profound sadness, even though logic told me it was unwarranted.

My attempts to cope with the sadness proved unhelpful as well. Discussing my feelings with friends only seemed to dampen their spirits. Similarly, I unfairly burdened my wife with the expectation that she could miraculously heal my emotional pain. My frustration with her inability to do so put a strain on our marriage, and my demeanor became increasingly difficult to tolerate. I was truly insufferable to be around.

I knew something had to change…

“If every instinct you have is wrong, the opposite would have to be right.” Is a line Jerry Seinfeld says to George Costanza in the Seinfeld episode The Opposite.  I kept thinking of that quote. 

It was then that I revisited Admiral William H. McRaven's commencement speech, titled "Just Make Your Bed."

In his address, he emphasizes the significance of waking up early and making your bed, as it provides an initial sense of accomplishment to start your day, setting off a chain reaction of positive transformations.

“If you want to change the world, start by making your bed”. I decided this is where I would start!  Everyday I would wake up before 8am and make my bed.  This might seem like a small task, but for someone that was never a morning person, it was a challenge. 

This seemingly minor change of waking up early and making my bed had an unexpectedly profound impact on my life. It instilled in me a newfound confidence, nudged me towards an earlier bedtime, allowed me to enjoy breakfast with my 3-year-old, made me think twice about drinking alcohol the night before, and enhanced my productivity at work.

It was a small change, but with a massive influence. Waking up early and making the bed was the antithesis of my behavior during depression. This got me thinking, what if I made more changes? Could they have an even greater impact? And so, I decided to embrace a "year of the opposite."

My plan was simple: I would do the opposite of what I had done before. It didn't have to be radical, like speaking Spanish instead of English or biking instead of driving. It just had to challenge me and push me out of my comfort zone. For instance, since I never liked mustaches, I decided to grow one. And since I had never played golf, I decided to become a golfer.

At the start of my Year of the Opposite, I didn't overwhelm myself with a long list of changes to make. Instead, I took it one challenge at a time. As I conquered each challenge, I gained more confidence and momentum.

As my friends and family became aware of my Year of the Opposite, they started to offer their own suggestions for what I should tackle next. Before I knew it, the list of changes had grown longer and longer throughout the year.

But because I was making the changes gradually and incrementally, the list didn’t intimidate me. Instead, the longer the list grew the more confidence I gained to keep going, to keep pushing myself, and to keep discovering new things about myself along the way.

In the following months, I made several significant changes: I quit drinking alcohol, stopped smoking weed, completed a half marathon, ran 7 miles barefooted, held my breath for 2 minutes and 45 seconds, ran a mile backward, briefly piloted an airplane, learned archery, swam about a mile across my lake, practiced shooting a pistol, won the Blazin Wing Challenge, and took a 9-minute cold plunge in a 35-degree lake, among other things.

The transformation didn't occur instantaneously, but it certainly felt swift! Within two weeks, I experienced a daily surge of energy, as if I were on Adderall. Within a month, my depression had vanished. And within six months, all of my lifestyle-induced ailments were "cured." My high blood pressure, elevated triglycerides, rosacea, and high cholesterol were all resolved.

In this newsletter, "The Year of the Opposite," I'll share the insights I gained and the outcomes I achieved. I'll discuss both the highs and the lows, as well as my blood work, test results, and the research and science behind what worked and what didn't.

I want to be absolutely clear from the outset: none of my accomplishments over the past year were extraordinary or record-breaking. But that's precisely what makes them so remarkable! The changes I made are ones that anyone could implement if they desired to transform their life. If you're grappling with weight issues, sadness, anxiety, or depression, perhaps you could also adopt this approach and find it beneficial.

Thank you so much for subscribing.  Next week I plan to share the results from my blood work, the changes in my cardiac fitness (VO2 Max), my weight change, and my blood pressure measurements.

Uplift Weekly - Humans Are Awesome!

Several years ago, I began sharing hard to find uplifting and positive stories on my Facebook page, summarizing them to the best of my ability. People seemed to really enjoy it. It's no secret that news outlets and social media often prioritize negative stories, as outrage tends to generate more clicks than happiness. Consequently, we find ourselves inundated with sensational, distressing stories from around the globe. This phenomenon not only contributes to societal polarization but also takes a toll on our mental well-being, as numerous studies have shown.

With this newsletter, I hope to include a portion that I call "Uplift Weekly," I aim to counterbalance negativity by highlighting the remarkable achievements of humanity. I'll be focusing on technological advancements, scientific breakthroughs, and any news that instills a sense of hope and pride in our world and its people. Here's to hoping that the steady stream of human ingenuity provides ample content for our weekly dose of positivity! :)

Without further ado, here is your Uplift Weekly

* Scientists have made a breakthrough in creating a superconductor that works at room temperature, according to a recent publication in the journal Nature.

* About 10-15% of our electricity on the electrical grid is lost just in the transmission of getting the energy to your house. When it comes to batteries, about 10-30% of the energy is lost. What if there were a type of material that electricity could flow through without any resistance and you didn’t lose any of the power? That’s what a SuperConductor is! Typically, superconductors only work at extremely low temperatures, which limits their practical applications. However, if a superconductor could work at room temperature, it could transform almost any technology that uses electric energy, from smartphones to maglev trains and even fusion power plants. The latest research, which still faces skepticism due to previous controversy around the scientists involved, could represent the first step towards this goal.

* The Lives of Girls Around The World Are Getting Better. This article from Unicef highlights 6 amazing changes.

* From 2012 to 2020, more girls completed secondary school - lower secondary school completion rose from 69% to 77% and upper secondary school completion rose from 49% to 59%.

* The global adolescent birth rate has decreased from 51 to 42 births per 1,000 girls aged 15-19 since 2012.

* New HIV infections among adolescent girls is down by 33% in a decade, but girls still account for most new infections among adolescents.

* There are fewer child marriages. In the last 10 years the proportion of young women marriages has fallen from 23% to 19%. However, millions of girls still at risk of marrying young.

* Female genital mutilation declined in the last decade, in the 31 countries where it is practiced it has decreased from 41% to 34%. Sadly it still affects the lives of millions of girls.

Thank you for reading the first issue of The Year Of the Opposite Newsletter. Your support and encouragement mean a lot to me. If you're a paying subscriber, I'd be delighted to hear from you. Feel free to send me an email at travisstoliker@gmail.com or leave a comment below.

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