Beating yourself up for the choices you make, whether they are mistakes or not, it’s important to remember you are a Human, always learning, always growing - that’s how you know you're alive .

One of the key components when it comes to learning to love yourself, particularly, if you come from a deficit, is that your inner narrative is very important and so if you unconsciously beat yourself up over everything, this is how you quickly make your mind unwell and over time that negative narrative becomes your normal.

You Do Not Have To Live Like That.

I feel what is also heavily overlooked, is that if you are sensitive and grow up in and travel through, environments that don’t acknowledge your sensitivity in a positive way, then you also begin to doubt yourself, it can become extremely difficult to trust yourself, based off of external experiences.

Coming back to yourself, grounding and getting familiar with who you truly are, is how you take your power back.

One of the most devastating effects of not properly acknowledging mistreatment, is that you carry it within you as a guide almost, particularly if mistreatment starts early, you unfortunately try and make sense of the external circumstances and easily internalise what is happening outside of you, to be a fault of your own, which is never true.

When you’re sensitive, it is easy to fall into the trap of not standing in your power and allowing those around you to act as though they know what is best for you and how you should feel etc but when you continuously practice loving yourself, you become empowered, you establish Self Trust and actively pay attention to your instincts and follow through on your inner knowing.

It is not a matter of being right all the time or knowing it all, far from it but it means that you care to hear yourself and feel what you are feeling and by reasserting this Self Assurance you build a beautiful relationship with Self that won’t always be present in others, especially if they do not bother to do the work required to truly love themselves.

I’ve been writing about Self Love for years and it really isn’t a gimmick, no matter how, sometimes, it is packaged to look that way.

Loving yourself is a rebellious act in a world that intentionally forgets to teach you to love yourself but also when we as individuals, forget along the way the importance of loving ourselves and allow the harmful things that happen to us to become permanent markers on our heart, this can lead to our demise.

This to me, feels inevitable, if you are alive and living scars will be made, wounds will be deep and for some of us far greater than others and in my experience the only way to try and bypass this is to remain intoxicated which isn’t necessary or a healthy way to live because, dangerously, we become avoidant of Self and far more likely to fall pray to addition.

Loving

Yourself

Is

Liberation.

But how do you become conscious of the fact, that you have been carrying around guilt, shame and embarassment from the burden of mistreatment whilst simultaneously refusing to acknowledge the burden of choosing yourself?

That you took things so personally they remain an open, heavily infected wound, not visible for the eye to see but ever apparent in your actions, behaviour and mind.

That you unconsciously, punish yourself for choosing you because you have been punished for doing so. You take on the role of Villain because that’s what you are being told your role is and so in order for acceptance you violate yourself and ignore the truth because that is more palatable, not for you but for everyone else.

Being hard on yourself becomes the norm and you now know how to move accordingly to ensure that whatever happens, you can always make others feel better because you are willing to scold yourself just as hard, if not harder, than those who prefer to despise and ignore what you bring to light.

So How Do You Begin To Go About Making Changes?

A W A R E N E S S

Without awareness you are blind and unfortunately sometimes awareness comes about from repeatedly making the same mistake, repeating the same lesson. It would be lovely for us all to learn things immediately, the first time round but that isn’t real.

Our Humanness is so complex and yet so fragile so it takes time and effort, lots of effort to start to catch yourself and reframe, your outdated mindset.

It takes time and you really mustn’t rush the time it takes because it truly is the journey that makes you.

It can be so difficult to sit with this, particularly, when we find ourselves in desperate situations and I really want to emphasise that it’s so easy to beat ourselves up, it’s like second nature for the highly sensitive individual however I cannot stress enough the importance of showing grace to yourself all the time, as you are growing, year after year, day after day, minute after minute, moment after moment.

You are an ever evolving Being.

You’re worth the grace, compassion and kindness you offer to others and as you navigate reframing your inner narrative it is of the utmost importance that you become your own friend.

Being your own friend and loving yourself, is how you begin to quickly reject things that are not for you.

Maintaining standards for yourself isn’t selfish or spoilt, it’s self maintenance at it’s highest level because lets be real, there are not many who pour into others without expecting something in return and usually when we are over pouring into others it can be coming from a place of codependency and fear of abandonment.

Always Seek Balance.

As energetic Beings we are all capable of giving to one another and yet so many lack the awareness and understanding of the importance of giving to self.

And so the long term damage of being hard on yourself means living a life half full, always ready to take the blame and downsize, to please anyone and everyone, especially those who claim to love you but bit by bit tear you down by not giving you the space you need to learn through mistakes or space to grow.

It’s pivotal to recognise where you are not safe and move according, always building on Self Respect and nurturing Self Love.

It is equally as important to surround yourself with people who, at the very least try to understand you, hear you and operate with compassion when dealing with you.

You can’t possible heal around anyone who demands you just “get over it” or are cold and hard hearted, especially if you’re highly sensitive, this will actually cause you great harm and act as a reinforcement of your lack of trust in yourself and further add to a negative inner narrative.

Being ignored is evil however it’s an opportunity to acknowledge that you aren’t in the right space or surrounded by the kind of people who can explore your growth with you and create a safe space for you.

Surrounding yourself with people who are hard on you, reinforces your need to be hard on yourself however being hard on yourself is counter productive.

Why Choose To Hate Yourself, When You Can Choose To Love Yourself?

You need kindness, compassion, empathy and an understanding ear to hear you and you need to be able to explore yourself, your mind, your thoughts, your innerstanding on matters pertaining to you. No one outside of you is better equipped to navigate you.

And of course, sometimes in the moment we aren’t thinking, we aren’t thinking about what happens next or others expectation, we maybe in fight or flight mode so no clear comprehension of the matter at hand is available - we in all of our humanness, just act. We don’t always have an explanation and when one is demanded of us immediately that we have not contemplated yet we are forced to think on our toes which may or may not suffice because for one, it may not be entirely true, as we feel pressured to succumb to expectation, two it is completely true and not the digestible answer or three we haven’t been granted the time to actually processes the present moment.

So often people ask of you and expect of you to think of them,

put them first,

consider their feelings,

make them a priority and not only are they incapable of doing the same in return,

they have no intention to.

Some people thrive off belittling you and so you do yourself a grave in justice by not only tolerating this kind of abuse but by becoming an active participant, condoning your self without proper Self Reflection.

I’m not sure, at what stage on this planet things began to operate in this way but if anyone requires you to not think for yourself or not put yourself before them in order for them to get ahead or feel good about themselves then we’ve failed because you should matter to yourself, no one else is more important than you and if you fail to love you, then being hard on yourself will your downfall.

You will one day get to a point in your life, where you look up and realise you carried others mistreatment as if it were your own instead of doing the work to recognise it isn’t yours to carry, it isn’t your burden, it doesn’t stem from an inability to be loved or poor character and this, this is so important because lets be honest you can be a magnificent person and your magnificence makes others feel threatened, instead of seizing the opportunity to walk beside you, they would prefer to tear you down and make you doubt yourself. Instead of learning to love themselves and do their own shadow work, they begin to feel threatened by you and so it’s vital to recognise this behaviour serves no purpose in your life, other than to help you to learn to practice discernment and uphold boundaries. These behaviours can present, unconsciously, in a person who lacks both Self Love and Self Awareness.

It is not a call to love yourself less however that is very easily done when you don’t control or oversee your inner narrative.

The damage caused by being hard on yourself is life long imprisonment in a mind that is clouded, a heart that is sad and an inner child that is hurting, from a lack of Self Awareness and actively choosing to go against your own nature which is to be love.

You nurture a highly developed narrative that continuously shows up as your own inner voice, belittling you and shrinking you in order to please others. And what is scary about this is, that it brings you some kind of relief to punish yourself, it’s bizzare yet comforting and doesn’t allow you the opportunity to navigate your truth.

You create within yourself, an external, internal narrative criticising and scrutinising your own actions, automatically, based on the lack approval or heightened scrutiny from the world outside of you.

So Do You Approve Of You?

You must learn to trust yourself and by love yourself I mean, learning to drown out the outside noise because you know your intentions and if you go around constantly having to prove yourself to others or live up to standards you don’t even agree with, you are merely chipping away at your own character and are easily susceptible to abuse because you refuse to stand up for yourself and this is no fault of your own, this is how you’ve been groomed but it is up to you to reclaim your power. It is up to you to stand up for yourself and advocate for your rights and it is up to you, to refuse to carry burdens put onto.

Self Empowerment comes from ownership and that isn’t always favourable if you fail to fall in line with invisible expectations. Devout loyalty to anything or anyone outside of yourself is dangerous because you shrink and become happy to play as though you do not matter and this, quite simply, is not the case.

The damage caused by being hard on yourself means repeatedly failing to be who you are, failing to love who you are flaws and all and failing to take ownership of yourself and stand in your power.

It’s one thing to allow others to mistreat you but when you allow yourself to mistreat you based on how others feel, behave etc and then allow that to dictate who you are, it’s internal suicide. Quite literally killing yourself from the inside out because now you have allowed a narrative that isn’t true or that you aren’t in agreement with to dictate your behaviour, all the while, repeatedly forgetting that you are your own compass.

If only you could see yourself and believe in yourself.

Your voice is your superpower and the quicker you learn to speak up for yourself and get comfortable acknowledging your truth, with yourself in particular because in order to be accountable you have to be able to be excruciatingly honest with yourself, before you will ever be able to be honest with anyone else, in turn, allows hearing yourself, sharing your truth and speaking your truth to become a form of liberation and a form of Self love.

The damage caused by being hard on yourself is an in ability to see yourself, you can acknowledged, address and critique all your flaws yet fail miserably at being able to praise, love and celebrate yourself which is no way to live at all.

I hope today and every day you think long and hard about being kinder to yourself, be your own friend when life has something to teach you and remain kind to yourself should backs be turned and ignorance, be the external play.

Remember, that above all you matter to you and you can and will overcome, if you chose to uplift yourself instead of becoming and nurturing your own worst enemy, internally.

LOVE Yourself ALWAYS, In All Ways x

“And Remember: To Love Thyself Would Be An Awfully BIG Adventure.”

Lahayla Dahlia Lore

true healing takes time an immense amount of time,

an immense amount of honesty with self,

an immense amount of comforting to bring you into your own safety because not only are you recovering from the behaviour of others,

you are recovering from your own inability to protect yourself and you weren’t to know that back then but present day you have to make conscious decisions to keep choosing happiness and to keep choosing yourself, to keep loving yourself over harming yourself.

As Human Beings we are capable of harming ourselves in many ways and have done so for generations, for example, as women, not giving ourselves permission to be honest about our periods, Motherhood and quite simply our bodies.

Not giving ourselves the respect and time we deserve to nurture ourselves, to honour our instincts and honour our cycles.

Evidently, we had help nurturing this self neglect.

Another simple but extremely direct way we harm ourselves particularly in our early years is not having control over our inner dialog and the stories we make up to justify the things that happen to us.

A negative inner narrative can cause great suffering.

It takes strength to sit with yourself and figure out your needs, especially when for the majority of your life your needs have been denied, ignored, frowned upon and laughed at.

Some of us come from nurturing homes where there is love in abundance and some of us come from the depths of hell and have to do whatever possible to get away.

It takes great courage to rise everyday and nurture your worth when you come from a deficit.

It takes great courage to continue to pour into yourself when you no longer seek external reward.

Remembering that just being is more than enough whilst the world is hell bent on gaining more, taking more, fighting for more, there is great peace in being satisfied.

After homelessness, being stripped bare of everything, there is an abundance of peace available and you’d be wise to protect it.

True healing can take lifetimes especially if your wounds run deep from childhood.

Finding and creating safe spaces for yourself is very important for the mind may forget but the body holds the unresolved pain.

And so it’s of great importance that when the pain arises, you set it free, make a conscious effort not to beat yourself up or to behave in a way that merely replicates how others have treated you - you do not have to become them and you do not have to carry their dismissive voices in your mind.

Slowly and consciously make an effort to free yourself from unkind echos of people who not only failed to love you but quite clearly were not able to love themselves.

Whatever you feel called to do today, as long as it’s a loving act, do it. If you recognise it isn’t a loving act, take some time to work through what is driving you to behave in such a way and choose to do better.

One step at a time,

One brick at a time,

You are laying a new foundation.

Don’t rush that.

In our haste, we trip ourselves up.

Slow and steady does it because sometimes we are rushing, to no where fast.

I have always believed that the amount of time it took to break you is the amount of time you have to give back to yourself and sometimes in our haste, when new people come along and new experiences, we can throw ourselves all in without caution, from naivety and the rush of dopamine, the power of love or the idea of it - all the above are seemingly positive things and yet they can sometimes lead us to neglect our self work which can quite easily enable us to fall into an unsatisfying loop, where people, places and things seem new but are just old patterns presented differently.

Loving yourself is extremely important as it serves as a constant reminder that you are whole and whilst having extensions of yourself is a wonderful thing for some of us I know loving ourselves is far more important than seeking love from another;

for some of us, needing anything from others is actually quite dangerous.

You do not deserve dangerous - You Do Deserve Peace!

You will be astounded by what you can give to yourself and when you do not seek anything from others, you are a powerful force to be reckoned with because you actively go out of your way, to empower you.

You don’t put yourself down or try to live up to standards that not only aren’t suitable for you but make no sense to who you truly are, now that you nurture yourself and understand yourself.

Loving yourself means rising again and again and again, in your power.

Loving yourself is a most rebellious act in a world that denies truth, that marks some as more superior than others, all the while ignoring the importance of our cycles, nature and the crumbling of society as it has been.

Loving yourself is what charges your power.

So remember it’s Ok to acknowledge and admit you still hurt, your body if you allow it, is releasing generational trauma, you are choosing to do things differently than those before you, refusing to be rushed or have your age and gender biases dangled before you to scare you into conformity, refusing to act as though your period is some taboo thing and that you aren’t a maginificent being, deserving of care and kindness, understanding and respect.

It’s Ok to feel rage for the women before you who covered their eyes with wool to overlook disgusting treatment, to feel rage towards those who internalised misogyny so much so they would happily toss aside their daughters to enable a man.

It’s Ok to feel rage towards yourself for not knowing how to speak up, for merely wanting to maintain peace in spaces you didn’t cause disharmony, for seeing the best in everybody or for being so desperately low and dying time and time again after being raped.

It’s Ok to feel rage over something that will impact you forever.

And most importantly when you find the words and your voice its absolutely crucial you tell your truth because in telling your truth you will find liberation.

I hope you always have the courage to be who you are, no matter how or who tries to whip you out of you and I hope you have the courage to remember even in the sad moments, every time you sit with your feelings or whatever is arising, you are releasing bit by bit suppressed energy and giving yourself permission to rewrite what you told yourself whilst enduring.

That version of you that helped you survive didn’t have the knowledge you have now and wasn’t equipped to contend with what you were made to face but now, now you powerful soul, you know how to talk to yourself better, to love yourself and to use your voice.

Your Voice Is Your Super Power.

Be kind to yourself, each and everyday and keep taking the necessary steps to pull yourself through, keep showing up for yourself and be gentle with yourself whenever those moment of great upset arise.

They aren’t permanent feelings, they are feelings that need nurturing and you can do that for yourself, you can hold yourself in kindness whenever pain or memories arrive that ask you to revisit what was.

Keep remembering and honouring your greatness.

Love yourself always, in all ways. }|{

And Remember: “To Love Thyself Would Be An Awfully BIG Adventure.”

Lahayla Dahlia Lore

I had a moment where I know I was really riding my own wave and it felt amazing and then life happens/people happen and rejection sensitivity spikes and negative thought patterns take over which I know now, can also just be projections from those surrounding you who have tried to break you, in the same way intentionally or unintentionally they have broken others, discerning that spiritual interception is important.

I needed time to pause.

I needed to create time for myself.

The energy of the city is infectious and to me it isn’t in a good way, from what I see it drives people into sickness and yet its so easy to get swept away in, even I find myself on occassion, in this great rush to push forward and I forget to take a moment to be present where I am, even if where I am has come with challenges I not only didn’t expect but never realised the way of living I have witnessed, is a reality for some.

I have felt like, what I am expressing is falling on deaf ears, which is awfully triggering but wouldn’t be the first instance in my life and yet so often this is the case when people are not experiencing what you are and actually this experience has taught me to stand on business. Follow through with the actions I need to and whilst I can have compassion, I mustn’t allow my compassion and empathy to pull the wool over my eyes, I have had to stay present and call it what it is. Exhausting.

Not only exhausting to journey through but living with Complex PTSD is already a trip and so when circumstances beyond ones control arise, its painful, I feel literal pain in my body because I do not have any control of how other Human Beings choose to behave and of course, on some level I have always understood this but growing up, I was the fixer anything could be solved if you pour enough love into it and whilst I know love changes many things I also know pouring love into people who do not love themselves is futile, its the quickest way to fall victim to manipulation and it really is that deep because some people use tactics as a means of survival without evening knowing they are doing so, they get an inch of kindness and usually because they are not used to the kind of kindness that is provided, their brains operate in calculated ways which as on observer, this can be scary. This is also the quickest way to fall into traps of abuse, especially when you are sensitive or have a natural inclination to want to help people -

When is enough, enough?

It’s been an absolute battle of healing and fighting, considering how best to manage everything and manage myself, to ensure I do not become consumed with depression or fall into the ‘it’s my fault’ trap which I know are remnants from childhood.

As a child,

when things don’t make sense,

if you don’t have people pouring love into you

and speaking with you about things

and reassuring you

or providing an explanation when things go wrong,

it is very easy to fall into the trap of believing everything is your fault

and you can develop an internal dialog that maintains that story;

so you tell yourself and believe,

that everything that goes wrong,

that actually has nothing to do with you at all,

is your fault and that becomes your burden to bear.

I guess I could say I have been doing lots of internal reconfiguration and its frightening how scary being triggered in real time can take you back to moments you haven’t thought about or buried and how in those moments, that’s exactly when you have to deal with your feelings otherwise you just continue to suppress.

One of the worst habits present day Humans upkeep is avoiding our feelings, refusing to be present with them because somewhere along the lines we forgot how to and I know we are undoubtably and thankfully, in a great time of change and I know there are many of us revisiting natural practices and becoming more attuned to our bodies which is brilliant but there is also a vast majority of people who just avoid avoid avoid and I wish they knew, as I had to learn, how detrimental this is for them, their mind, their body and soul.

I birthed SELFLOVELOVESELF365 in a bathtub, in 2018, out of my own need to stop avoiding my self. It was both the most excruciating and invigorating year of my life, I had to release a lot, I had to take charge of who I was becoming and yet I was still so far from this point now, I was so hurt and so in need and so alone but that was indeed what I needed, I had had to create the opportunity for myself to explore how life had treated me up until that point and most importantly, how I had treated myself, how I was actively making choices that bit by bit were chipping away at me whilst presenting myself in the world, as tough as nails and happy as Larry, as they say.

I was tough, I had to be, being the eldest child, the surrogate parent, the emotional support system and knower of all things yet knower of nothing at all, pertaining to understanding oneself, being in tune with self, listening to self and knowing self beyond the projections and familiar roles you learn quickly to play.

I learned quickly the importance of Self Love or should I say remembered and I know that if only people would have the courage to dig deeper and release the need to avoid themselves, undoubtably, the world would be a better place and it starts with each one of us, first.

I spent this evening organising, in a really loose way no specific outcome expected and in doing so I guess I also cleared up space within myself to write and that feels amazing because the few times I have made drafts recently I felt so disheartened.

To be vulnerable or not to be, had been the question on my mind.

And every time I sent a piece to draft, I was disappointed in myself because I assumed it meant I was failing to show up but something I just coined and posted on Twitter (It will always be Twitter ;) IYKYK) actually, was:

Infrequent High Quality Over Frequent Quantity

And this is so important for me because we all know the so called tricks and hacks of social media and the drive to be consistent usually means post everyday, a certain amount of times a day etc BUT I am happy to accept myself, I am not always on, that is not how this mind works and its such a beautiful space to be in, to embrace this very moment, because as I know feelings are fleeting and there are so many factors for me that hinder creativity so I am basking in this moment, fully present as I write this with excitement, so much so, I even managed to stop myself multitasking as I often do, to come back to writing; I felt the rush to want to write and finish what I have started and that makes me happy.

So I say all of this to say get comfortable with making time for yourself, no excuses. Merely organising, created such a vast amount of space for me to use my voice and these are things we can all remember, when the mind is cluttered check out your environment, a clean and tidy goes a long way not just for appearance but for the soul and I appreciate those things aren’t always deemed as a priority but I truly believe it is the things we put off most and avoid that hold us back.

Avoiding ourselves holds us back,

Not doing the things we know we need to do holds us back,

and I say this with compassion and empathy as sometimes it is so easy to say things and know this answer whilst understanding neurodivergence doesn’t work in that way which is another reason why awareness and taking time to get to know yourself is important because then you can ease off beating yourself up for waiting for the right moment.

The magic is in the flow, releasing anxiety, again something that is no joke and probably, still, heavily misunderstood and I say that from the point of view of having it and being so used to it, up until recently I wouldn’t have been able to acknowledge or express what it feels like which seems crazy given its something I feel I have lived with forever, I simply just didn’t recognise or understand it myself.

This is a reminder to all of us to be kind to ourselves, to learn and continue to continue learning throughout this journey to love ourselves through all of our phases and first do right by I, because in doing right by I, one will surely do right by others.

Sending light & love, ALWAYS x

And Remember: “To Love Thyself Would Be An Awfully BIG Adventure.”

Lahayla Dahlia Lore

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It’s not an excuse to keep allowing your trauma to show up and you Self Sabotage.

A major lesson I am constantly learning is that Trauma can be so deep rooted and it takes time and vast amounts of effort to correct yourself, to correct your mentality and your approach to life and love.

Love after trauma can feel like war.

Love feels amazing until the insecurities creep in and unchecked, you can easily allow yourself to become something you aren’t, consumed with fear and worry and lacking in faith.

Love in its essence is sweet, joyful, playful, gentle, passionate and opens you up to extreme vulnerability. This, as you very well know, is where the work comes in.

There is nothing more precious and beautiful than genuine, true love.

And so why then can it be so difficult to be objective?

E m o t i o n s.

Uncontrolled and unaddressed emotions on top of unresolved trauma equal a nightmare.

When you are a highly sensitive being, in the process of bettering yourself, leaving the past behind and venturing into the new, it can be extremely difficult to manage everything - especially when life is presenting you with what seems like positive stepping stones, that are met with highly triggering circumstances.

On this side of the experience, I can acknowledge that the triggering circumstances have been necessary for growth, lets be honest it would be wonderful to never be triggered again however I know now that triggers are an important part of one’s progress.

Without triggers how can you over come and as someone who experiences triggers as heart wrenching, I can recognise, this experience I am overcoming, has allowed me to uphold new boundaries, to recognise the kind of environment I do not want to be a part of and that I don’t have to negotiate on this.

I can be stern in my decisions regarding my environment however unfortunately, at the beginning of this predicament I felt extremely overwhelmed by my environment, which overpowered my ability to cope with the rest of life which is excruciatingly frustrating, I had to drop the plates and sometimes the mind can be so loud; in the moments one should pause, the gas is pumped and the crash out is real.

Self Sabotage Strikes.

If I do not give myself time to pause when matters are heavy I will crumble and I am fine with knowing this but in a world that more often than not requires you to always be on, this warranted reaction, when your very sensitive can be very annoying to manage and often only recognisable in hindsight.

I believe there is a lesson in everything.

No matter the circumstances and whilst that doesn’t make the circumstances ok, I also recognise this as a an adopted understanding mechanism, in order to make sense of this thing called life.

If there is a lesson in everything, then what is it I am being called to learn.

Often, it is easy to forget that we are all students of life and continuously learning, that love is a beautiful thing that requires you to crack out of your shell, to step forth and release any and all withheld truths.

Love often asks us to get out of our own way and leap into our insecurities, face them head on and slay them.

Togetherness and union means riding the waves of uncertainty and not giving up, remembering wave after wave after wave that love is a tango of two and coming together isn’t a challenge free ride. It’s a call for two people to battle alongside each other for something felt deeply within their souls.

How, you ask, does Self Love come into play here?

Well, when the call to love another is present it can become very easy to forget yourself, to need to prove your self, prove your love and rank another’s behaviour towards you, as not good enough, to demand more than they have available to give and in doing so you forget that love is not about what can be done for you or who is willing to do the most, true love is about nurturing friendship and nurturing one another whilst giving one another space to grow.

Love does not demand presence out of fear you are losing something, signs to me, of insecurity. If you pay attention to your behaviour and catch yourself, you can stop demanding from another what it is you are able to give to yourself. Reminding yourself that another persons presence is a gift, not something to be taken for granted or exploited.

The beauty of love is that in its purest form and in our kind mind, its passionate and giving, its deep and devoted and kind and caring yet simultaneously when unsettled, when insecurities arise and the self reflection isn’t present it can be vicious and scolding and harmful, prompting the need for control instead of reminding us of the importance of freedom, the freedom to be who you are, whilst growing together with someone else.

Love is not possession and so offering yourself love whilst navigating loving another/others looks like space to merely be, to not fall into the trap of being so consumed with wants and needs that you forfeit your ability to nurture and cater to yourself.

It’s also been eye opening to recognise how closed off I can be when I lack the capacity to take into account other peoples feelings and how I may hurt them by shutting down, how this behaviour too hurts me but it’s not intentional, I can just become so overwhelmed and that completely wipes me out. It takes vast amounts of time to get back to my ‘proper’ mind or come to the realisation that the things that I overthought about just do not bear enough weight to be present in thought, today.

And so I write this to say please show yourself the utmost grace on this journey. We are all coming from different vantage points and unlearning toxic ways is complex and trying. Navigating deep rooted trauma and being asked to show up as ‘normal’ is ridiculous so do not shy away from carving out your own lane. It’s worth acknowledging that, even though the awareness is present to remind you that to move forward you have to amend your perspective and thought process yet also keep yourself safe.

Safety is paramount and when you haven’t had it, when it finally arrives unsurprisingly, it can feel excruciatingly scary because a part of you is always contemplating the if’s and the buts and not only is that exhausting, that is no way to live; it is unfair to yourself because effectively you are too, unrecognisably, preventing presence in safety and you too, hold yourself back from moving forward.

I don’t say this lightly because trauma builds fear within you and that is a journey in its self to overcome.

And yet the best thing to do is leap and keep leaping and eventually you do not hold onto fear anymore.

You know who you are and you recognise your worth and you continue to push forward.

You keep going.

You deserve the kind of love you dreamt of as a child and sometimes it is a matter of getting out of your own way to step into it. Choosing to be present in love instead of a bystander, waiting for something bad to happen takes courage - I know and so you must know you’re worth it.

You’re worthy of a new adventure, the new story, the new inner narrative that constantly reminds you and reinforces your winning.

Communicate where you can and be realistic, sometimes you aren’t capable of showing up as your best self in the moment of hardship and that’s ok. It’s also a beautiful thing to be afforded the opportunity to look back and recognise, actually now knowing what I now know I would have handled it like this or even better, using your voice to speak up about how you now recognise, what you need to do and being ok with your truth even if it isn’t received externally the way you would like.

To love means to continuously put trust into another and pour into what you are building. Hold space for one another and keep allowing room to grow.

To love self includes holding space for self whilst navigating partnership, being honest with yourself about what you are feeling even when you may not clearly know the why and not shy away from being open and honest about your needs. Assessing the emotional availability of another is also crucial because if your expectations supersede what is available you can begin slowly chipping away at your self worth, by knowing you desire more and trying to get more from someone who doesn’t know how to give which can be quite painful and you have a choice to see if they are teachable or to choose yourself.

How are you learning through love?

And Remember: “To Love Thyself Would Be An Awfully BIG Adventure.”

Lahayla Dahlia Lore

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A superpower of sorts because on the other side of using your voice there are options and not all the options that come about will be likeable but better to say what you have to say than leave things unsaid.

I guess one of the major issues with speaking and not being heard is that, that can hurt, it can hurt to recognise you aren’t listened to or your experience is not similar or familiar therefore the feelings aren’t shared and so holding space or being held space for, can feel stretched.

I started this the other day and wasn’t able to finish it, not for any particular reason I just run out of spark but I love operating from a space of flow, I know I will show up when called.

Divine Timing.

Using your voice and being inquisitive calls you to think and through thinking, there is encouragment to feel. Presenting you with time and another way of navigating your emotions.

There is definitely something very liberating that happens when you speak up for yourself and I find its even more powerful when you are able to say what you have to say without losing your cool. That being said, your feelings are very valid and you must always listen to your instincts when it comes to recognising anger etc of course, I understand how hard it is in the moment to check in and ask yourself “what am I feeling and why?” because sometimes the reaction can be so imminent and that’s your body signalling to you that something is wrong, there’s an uncomfortable give and take going on but like all things with practice, you can actually get to a space where you respond with intent without rage or bitterness, clouding your judgement.

It’s important to be able to speak up when you are being wronged and equally just as important to speak up when you are happy and greatful and life is blooming and you are becoming.

Using your voice is pain relief because anyone who truly cares for you and loves you will hold space for you, granting you grace, remembering that you too are a Human Being embracing this experience, you also make mistakes which are just lessons and you are allowed to feel what you feel.

Proper communication allows us to iron out our misunderstandings and actually calls us to be more inquisitive of one another, which is brilliant, the only issue can be when you do this with people who have their guard up, you will receive push back, which is not so brilliant and quite a shame because that defensive nature can leave you feeling scolded for trying to understand or trying to get to know someone better. Do not take offence, that is a defence mechanism, usually stemming from fear of being seen/heard and often arising because an individual has felt they have had to hide or choose to hide, for fear of being seen. Communication can feel scary, openness and being given space to communicate can seem alarming when your life experience has asked you to shy away from being heard or worse, mask.

Whilst using your voice to try to understand others and share what your feeling is a very important and useful tool, what is even more important is grasping the opportunity to hear yourself aloud, to tell your truth and let it out and if unfortunately you are not heard - that doesn’t matter, what matters is you are constantly asserting your trust in yourself, you hear yourself and you listen to yourself and from there you grant yourself the permission to move accordingly.

You do not shy away from self.

You do not feel so small and think so little of yourself that you neglect to use your power.

Using your voice is how you stand up for yourself.

Using your voice is what helps you learn and navigate the world around you.

And no matter what you are told or who tries to silence you or over look you, you can be proud of yourself for speaking your truth.

How will you use your voice today?

Your Voice IS Your Superpower.

Sending light & love, A L W A Y S x

Thanks for reading S e l f l o v e l o v e s e l f 3 6 5! This post is public so feel free to share it.

And Remember: “To Love Thyself Would Be An Awful BIG Adventure.”

Lahayla Dahlia Lore }|{

First and foremost - I need sleep!!

I say this because I have the neighbour from hell and for the past 8 months not one week has gone by without some overly dramatic situation, occurrence, incident etc that is so dysfunctional and not only is it awful to experience first hand but it demonstrates such a lack of self care and that for me to witness, is truly sad.

I birthed SELFLOVELOVESELF365 one day when I was bathing, during the first time I really gave myself permission to properly accept and acknowledge what happened to me, I will never forget the ache in my heart. SELFLOVELOVESELF365 started with a voice note to myself and it was so liberating to hear my thoughts aloud. That was effectively a call out to myself to remember that no matter what happens to me on this journey I must always care for myself because at the very least, I deserve my own care and love.

**Trigger Warning - Implications of Sexual Assault Discussed Here, Please Go To Next Paragraph If You Would Prefer To Avoid**

Life is a journey and so I will always need to love myself and care for myself no matter how the world looks at me or whether or not I am made to feel different. We are all different and we should all embrace that. One of my hardest lessons to contend with is how, unconsciously, being raped impacts the mind, how I see myself, my unconscious however very present, day to day, fears and I am still learning to articulate these things for myself but being raped in any manor, leaves such mental scars which do make you double guess your worth constantly. It’s like thinking highly of yourself and then you get triggered or remember to a T what happened and it replays and in that moment you feel weak and lost and hurt and can never and will never understand that unkindness: It is in those moments I am reminded it is not for me to understand, I cannot rationalise another Human Beings behaviour but suffocating and drowning in silence prompted my cry for Self Love, an act I must do for myself everyday because I, like you, am worth it.

Back to present day, it is sad to witness someone behave so carelessly with their life and to witness the people around them also behave recklessly so much so that they ignore the requests of them to do better which not only causes harm to themselves but harms me.

Sleep deprivation kills and my brain and body, just cannot cope when I am subjected to hear hours of verbal abuse, not directed at me, but through a fragile wall amongst themselves and so loud they may as well be in my space with me.

One way I am impacted, from inadequate sleep, is that my mind races even faster than usual and my creative productivity gets messed up as well as the day and I feel rage and all kinds of emotions because there is no need for people to behave in such a way, unless they don’t love themselves, unless they thrive on disfunction.

My ears are exhausted from hearing and the energy can feel so bad, leaving me feeling drained.

I went out for some respite today however the knock on effect feels like I have a terrible hangover, I am extra sensitive in the presence of others, so much so, I have to keep my distance as much as possible and all the while people seem to have no awareness for personal space, even when I am trying. I also pick up on other people’s energy more, feeling like a super absorbent sponge. All the Brain power it takes to navigate these interactions or should I say, to avoid them is also very very taxing and so doing that without adequate sleep was safe to say not the answer merely a moment of distraction because my head hurt too much to be outside and my coat too hot but its acts as a shield - I don’t want anyone to look at me or to disturb me or to require my attention or mistakenly think, I desire theirs.

I really needed the breather yet at the same time it was all too much, I couldn’t wait to get home, even with the apprehensive feeling of how tonight may go.

At least, I can recognise and acknowledge overwhelm and I am actively releasing any guilt for not being able to do more.

It’s OK.

One moment at a time, one day at a time.

I can move differently now.

I hope you are able to navigate overwhelm smoothly.

I hope you had a good day.

Sending light and love, ALWAYS x

And Remember: “To Love Thyself Would Be An Awfully BIG Adventure.”

Lahayla Dahlia Lore

I arrived and took a seat and it was in that moment that I reflected on the fact that whilst everything isn’t where I want it to be yet, everything is becoming, I am applying myself and I am also listening to my bodies needs, more so than ever, which includes pausing regularly and often and with this, I am finding balance.

I mean, as it has been and probably will be, there are days when I am all systems go, jumping from one thing to the next, one idea to the other and then days where nothing can be done at all and whilst I have struggled and not been graceful towards myself when dealing with this, one day I will remember that if I just listen and attend to my body as and when it needs to be tended to, that would allow me to avoid prolonged periods of burnout and rumination causing heightened mental anguish.

I have never been here before.

I have never had this experience.

I have never known this feeling or had this kind of safety so it is only right, it will take some time to get used to.

And so whilst I was sitting, watching the world pass around me and taking in the scenery which was quite grey, yet still beautiful, I was called to say an inner thank you, which I often find myself doing these days and that feels so good. I know it has been such a battle to get here and actually when for years death has been an unconscious part of me, holding space in my heart and mind, progress of any kind is always met with caution. The image came to mind of dogs, the ones that are severely abused and when rescued they are very reluctant to engage with anything the owner wishes them to participate in, not for not wanting to but because they are scared.

That is sometimes what stepping into life feels like, being petrified yet excited by the new, which sometimes leaves you in limbo because the fear of stepping forward can be so great

and feel so enormous

and feel so consuming

and lets not forget the threat of rejection sensitivity too.

I know one of the greatest marks of trauma is feeling the need to hide and how that presents difficultly in everyday life as people expect you to show up and accept their passes at you, not knowing you are petrified, because although I know its not strangers that do the most damage, now I’m just wary of everyone and that can be a very difficult place to grow from.

And Yet Grow I must!

And I am, in my own time and I know done properly, that cannot be rushed, just like a seed. The environment matters, care matters, presence matters.

I am greatful to recognise and work through these things. I am greatful for the moments where my mind just gently repeats thank you in the background whilst everything ticks over and I continue to grow through the hard days and finally give myself grace.

I hope that you too find moments, often, that remind you there is always opportunity to give thanks.

Sending light and love, ALWAYS x

And Remember: “To Love Thyself Would Be An Awfully BIG Adventure.”

L A H A Y L A D A H L I A L O R E

Slow Down, No Slower, Even Slower. I hear over and over again.

I literally have to convince myself that its OK to slow down, one because its insane of me to think in a year alone I could possibly play catch up from the extensive time of unsafely and unsettledness experienced prior whilst still navigating my own mental terrain, holding awareness for my physical needs especially since for once, I am able to be completely present or trying to as well as manage the mental anguish from the environment I find myself in. It’s been 33 weeks, 231 days, and as I write I’m astonished that once again I have coped, sober and still trying.

What is it they say God loves a trier.

What I realise is I am getting plenty done but I have to eradicate these timelines, I do not know where they come from, well I do, we all do but I really have to give myself permission to go slowly.

I am not trying to cut corners nor am I in a race and so I know why I am constantly reminding myself to slow down.

I feel like the milestones people get to have and achieve or at least the way society states it should be done is not nor has it

ever been ideal/celebratory for me and so its like being in a race whilst the world around you is hurtling forward, some days you’re stuck in reverse or merely just on pause whilst being treated as though its audacious of you to be there, present at that pace.

The only thing speed does is get you to the next destination very quickly, when right now speed is the last thing I need.

This stage actually feels like the growing period required by a seed and as we all know seeds cannot be rushed.

Rushing causes anxiety and I just don’t have the capacity for any more of that.

So here I am taking a break and writing through it.

I hope you are able and willing to honour your pace.

And remember: “To Love Thyself Would Be An AwfullY BIG Adventure.” Lahayla Dahlia Lore

And so would you believe I made a decision and once again the weight of the world dropped from my shoulders.

Deciding not to go and if i’m honest it wasn’t like I had a choice because my body/mind just could not muster the energy it would have required to move.

That’s OK.

I often found myself in positions where I had to, where no one listened or cared whether I could or not and because I look fine, seem fine, I had been high functioning, there was never any consideration to when I couldn’t and I would, too, push myself based on what was expected of me so much so, I still struggle to be honest with myself now when the simple answer is I don’t want to.

I don’t want to, paired with PMS/PMDD and it’s a strike.

What I love about this is being able to have the time to reflect on how hard I can be on myself, how I have a tendency to make myself feel bad as though I do not feel bad enough and that in some way, makes my need for rest more acceptable. I actually dispise this but through writing the first piece this rising and getting all my thoughts out of my head, the moment I became comfortable with my decision and stopped trying to talk myself into doing, is the moment I felt at ease.

That doesn’t make me lazy or undeserving, that doesn’t mean I don’t do enough and need to push myself harder in fact on the contrary, as I have been working hard on myself for years especially when it comes to doing the internal work, if anything, the moment I find myself in is the perfect moment to put all the spinning plates down.

This serves as a reminder I do not have to be a version I have been in order to survive and that what I learnt through surviving hopefully I can begin to release.

And that starts with trusting myself and listening to myself I do know how important it is to rest and I thoroughly enjoy resting so I can release any guilt that comes with that.

Learning to put me first is very important - my biggest lesson on Self Love to date. I also recognise there is a huge difference in taking yourself away from situations and actually putting yourself first.

I understand that to keep myself safe, I have to take myself away from things that do not honour my peace or safety and now I get to choose me.

It’s perfectly valid to feel the sadness that comes with not having the things considered normal in society, that are often taken for granted by those who have and its important to remember that you have to manage that because people don’t know or do know and forget.

We are all operating on different timelines and have very different life experiences and I am just soul greatful to use these moments of anguish to continue to work on myself.

I take pride in unlearning what no longer serves me and I love the opportunity to write it out because it truly does make a difference hearing yourself aloud.

Today I made the right choice for me and there is no one to scold me for that unless I take to scolding myself and that I know, is unkind.

This serves as a very important reminder of why it’s so important to love yourself, you maybe strong and brilliant but that doesn’t mean you have to do it all. In fact, I am learning the importance of being selective with strength and brilliance for not all souls are kind and know how to deal well with these characteristics.

How did you get on with your day?

I hope you gave yourself the time you needed, if you needed to weather your mental terrain and rest if you were called too or that whatever you chose to do it was soul nourishing.

Taking the time to rest and feel through the times of our cycle is important and powerful, give yourself permission to stay connected to who you are.

The sun has set here, it’s such a magical time.

Until next time,

Sending light and love, ALWAYS x

And remember: “To Love Thyself Would Be An Awfully BIG Adventure.” Lahayla Dahlia Lore

so full of feelings,

crying on and off

and on and off

and on.

Exhausted by my own thoughts, exhausted from trying to find resolve, from needing all the answers right now and simultaneously not having the energy to process it all.

I bathed.

I know my hormones are high and I also know anything coming up in this moment is important to process and so I have been trying to give myself the space to feel through everything whilst being kind to myself because it is so easy to allow the annoying voice inside to convince me I am not good enough, maybe I was told too often as a child/teenage something wasn’t good enough and today of all days, it is creeping through, throwing me off, convincing me I am less than.

It hurts to feel so sad and I know it will pass but until it does I am taking the time to catch any negative chatter and usher in words of affirmation.

The hormones that trigger low mood during my cycle can be so hard to shake off and then before you know it, your caught up ruminating on the past or parts of the past that need healing and so whilst it can be a very annoying experience, especially as it just shows up unannounced on important days when you actually need to be present and participate in life, it’s also an invitation to be aware and present with what I am feeling.

It’s ok to admit that it feels hard or complicated or difficult. It’s ok to wish that you had some of your needs met and it's also OK to admit how exhausting it can be having to meet all your own needs all by yourself; that some days you do need a hug and some kind words and that isn’t something to be ashamed of, nor does it make you weak.

I am in two minds about how I wish to participate in today, part of me wants to curl up in a ball and hide under the duvet and part of me is deliberating whether I stick to my commitment and just put on a brave face. Whilst I know there will be enjoyment in following through with the commitment, I guess the call to hide has moments that seem more alluring and then on the same hand I question myself as to why I think it’s acceptable to ignore myself and ignore my body because quite frankly that isn’t kind.

I wonder if this is Self Sabotage or a cry to be heard for all the times I didn’t listen to myself when I have been in need, observing how when there is no one to soothe you, do you also adopt the behaviour of failing to soothe yourself?

I wish I had the answers.

I have always struggled with having to show up happy when on the inside I am sad, I have always pushed through the worst of circumstances when actually I needed to be held and so this crossroad today is highly frustrating.

I’m great at making others feel better and being the voice of motivation and yet today I am struggle to be that for myself.

I already lent on food for comfort and If I’m being honest there really isn’t anything anyone else can do per se, sometimes just being seen or having someone present is enough but I guess that’s the problem with mental health, it the internal battle that a beautiful smiling face hides.

Now as I type I am asking myself, do I push through and hope for the best or do I free myself of guilt and rest, will I be annoyed that I am unable to participate in today’s thing or focus on self soothing? Is my mood so uncontrollable it may rub people the wrong way or even in the company of others make me isolate? Am I anxious/nervous and so is this making everything feel 10 times worse…?

I just don’t have the answers and that’s ok. I recognise that going ahead with my plans will distract me from self for a while and perhaps that’s what I need but escapism isn’t what I desire, I would prefer to address myself and answer questions like: am I just being cruel to myself and preventing my progress?

Do I just not truly believe in myself, am I afraid to succeed and what does that look like to me anyway?

What do I actually need?

I can go ahead with my plans and maybe I arrive and change my mind.

Maybe I stay in the safety of my home and beat myself up about not having the courage to go.

The conundrum.

TBC

However You Are Feeling I Hope You Give yourself The Chance To Feel Through It.

Wishing you a good day!

And Remember: “To Love Thyself Would Be An Awfully BIG Adventure.”

But the thing I did was necessary.

I took a nap :)

I’ve needed to take a nap all day but I had to press on with an important matter, as we do, but I hit my peak once finished.

And as I laid down, I picked up my phone and attempted to go on my favourite game and how quickly I was ignoring myself.

Snap out of quick, its time to rest your busy head, it’s time for a little sleep.

And swiftly, as soon as I put the phone aside, I feel into a sweet sleep, deep enough but not too deep and actually I woke from the soft inner calling of my own name, like I was being gently ushered into the present moment, child like resonance and I felt such joy and glee, I opened my eyes became present with my surroundings and it felt as though I was embraced with a comforting hug.

A safe, pleasurable, comforting moment with Self.

I hear myself internally, sporadicly and often, saying thank you because I am soul thankful for how far I have come and so greatful for all that I have and I am constantly reminded you must do your best to never settle in life, for The Best Is Yet To Come.

The Best Is Yet To Come.

May this be a reminder to you, to take that nap and show yourself love and be kind to yourself as you persist.

I do not like it at all but my current predicament serves as a reminder that adversity truly does grow you - if you push through it and whilst if I am honest, it bugs me so, that that is something we have to do especially when matters are being forced on us by others but the only thing I know is that whatever you are going through no matter how painful, you deserve to see how powerful you are and you deserve to witness yourself rise on the other side even though it comes with heartache and like anything in life there seems to be a cost - just know you are worth it!

No, you do not deserve the evil things or nasty things done but I promise you if you rise up the most high will meet you, little one.

See, when I’m well rested I write in rhyme LOL.

I love it here.

I hope that you are happy where you are and I hope everyday you remember your worth, no matter what is going on, always, always, always be good to yourself.

You are a miracle.

& with that, I’ll bid you farewell :) (for now at least)

Sending light and love, ALWAYS x

And Remember: “To Love Thyself Would Be An Awfully BIG Adventure.” Lahayla Dahlia Lore

Embrace the day, embrace the moments and allow what needs to pass to pass.

It so easy when we feel good to be present and likewise it is so easy when things are difficult to find ourselves ungrounded and obsorbing the chaos.

I want you to take a moment and look how far you’ve come and acknowledge that no matter what you have been up against, no matter how hard or how painful, you continued to press on, you continued to show up even if it wasn’t in your best way - you tried.

It is so important given the nature of the world around us to be selective about what we absorb and to remind ourselves not to be so inclined, to be mislead by negativity fed to us or to diminish our light.

It is, also, so very important to merely observe the behaviours of others in order to recognise you do not have to participate in their madness, now of course this can be extremely difficult depending on the proximity but one thing life always reminds me of is that there are always ways to cope and things you can do in order to keep rising above whatever you are being presented with at any given moment in time.

We know that life is a series of tests and lessons and a major lesson in life is learning to not match people’s energy, although of recent this phrase has been thrown around to suggest that we should match peoples energy in a way to show them some kind of lesson, an example, you treat me like this I will do the same. However, I think it’s safe to say matching energy in this way is a disaster.

You are playing silly games and taking yourself out of character which is completely misaligned; best to not participate at all.

Sometimes there is a level of consciousness missing and some do not see their behaviour as abnormal or even detrimental, not only to themselves but to others.

So give thanks for the ability to see things as they are, to recognise dysfunction and have the ability to move accordingly.

I am soul greatful (no typo) for the array of things to do, hobbies to enjoy and skills to develop which reminds me of the saying the devil makes work for idle hands, this is very very true. When we fail to channel our energy into the right things, it can be catastropghic

I hope today and everyday you are able to reflect on your journey and pour into yourself and the things you love, taking all the time you need to grow you. Keeping yourself safe and actively choosing not to settle for anything that makes you feel less than.

As Wombmen, I feel it particularly important to share our knowledge with one another and protect one another. It is important to protect our minds, our bodies and our souls. Our energy is one of a kind.

Remember this as you journey, you are deserving and worthy and you are all those things without having to prove yourself.

Life is a miracle and so I think it important to remember that before you ever settle for less than what you deserve.

Know Your Worth.

And continue to rise.

Embrace the day and honour the beauty in life.

And Remember: “To Love Thyself Would Be An Awfully BIG Adventure.” Lahayla Dahlia Lore

I hope everyday you rise with kindness and happiness in your heart.

I hope you know peace.

I hope you face and over come all your demons.

I hope you remember to extend your forgiveness not only to others but to yourself.

I hope you rise to your occasions and likewise are able to decipher when occasions are not yours to rise to.

I hope you trust yourself.

I hope you remember everyday the importance and value of your life and continue to move forward in ways that truly help you progress.

I hope that when you recognise your wrong doings you are able and willing to address them, both those done to others and just as importantly, those done to yourself.

I hope you bask in the greatness of the good moments and never let the not so good moments keep you down,

I hope you remind yourself every second, every minute and every hour of the importance of loving yourself and act on those reminders.

I hope you work hard at correcting your inner narrative and ensure you speak to yourself with love and kindness.

I hope you show yourself grace as you give yourself permission to unravel and to tap into who you really are.

I hope you have the opportunity or create the opportunity for yourself to know independence.

I hope you never give up striving towards creating a safe home for yourself without compromising your body.

I hope you never feel forced to give yourself to anyone in order to survive and if you find that you do or that you have, may you offer yourself compassion as you decide to do things differently.

I hope you remind yourself daily you are more than enough.

I hope you constantly fine tune your understanding of your worth and know that no matter what situation you come up against in life, you shall and will overcome and whilst that isn’t medicine to the soul during the moments of anguish, let it serve as a reminder that you are more powerful than you know and you will face many things that could break you and yet here you are reading this, no longer surviving but thriving.

I hope you love yourself as loudly as you love others.

I hope the love you pour out comes back to you ten fold.

I hope that you find yourself again and again and again, after your trials and tribulations.

I hope each day you remember to call your energy back.

I hope you dust yourself off and try again (Sings Aaliyah) as many times as you need to.

I hope you praise yourself often for all that you have overcome and how strong you have had to be.

I hope in the moments of heartbreak when people you love, refuse to see you or honour your needs or hold out their hand to help you, you don’t internalise this behaviour to mean that you are underserving.

I hope you have the courage to ride your own wave and pave your own lane.

I hope you dabble in all your desired pursuits even if it’s just to learn, that a particular pursuit is not something you wish to pursue further.

I hope you have the courage to shine your light brightly especially after navigating the darkest of storms alone.

I hope you remember Being Alone Does Not Mean You’re Alone.

I hope you travel far and wide and embrace all the wonderful and amazing experiences life has to offer you.

I hope today and everyday you remind yourself:

You Are Mighty!

You Are Powerful!

You Are Loved!

I hope you never give up especially when it appears, based on socially constructed timelines, you are out of time.

I hope you always remember, everything happens only in divine timing and you will never know when that will be but if you settle you will never see all that can be, come to light.

I hope that if you ever feel regret you are brave enough to reassess your perspective.

I hope that you heal by acknowledging the pain, addressing it and with time releasing it.

I hope you never run too far astray from yourself.

I hope you know sometimes in order to move forward you have to find your way back and sieve through your old understanding of things, to know that seeing things from a different perspective heals you.

I hope you know that anything bad/awful that has happened to you does not make you less than and a persons hideous actions, whilst they may scar even invisibly, are not your fault.

I hope you get to be embraced by the ones you love, who love you in return often and never take real love for granted.

I hope you take all the time you need to know yourself.

I, truly, hope you love learning to love yourself.

I H O P E. These are my hopes for you.

Sending light and love, ALWAYS x

And remember: “To Love Thyself Would Be An Awfully BIG Adventure.” Lahayla Dahlia Lore

Thanks for reading S e l f l o v e l o v e s e l f 3 6 5! This post is public so feel free to share it.

Unmanageable Energy.

She who will not be tamed,

Stands tall in her greatness.

Magic to every eye that sees her,

Deadly to those who disrespect.

A being of the highest intellect.

So easy it is to drown in her ocean of love.

Special beyond measure,

In tune with both earthly things and that of above.

Lahayla Dahlia Lore }|{

I honour everyday, that I am not supposed to follow a crowd or do things in any which way, sometimes there is succinct flow and other times, there is a revolting door of continuous change.

I do not believe we are to remain the same or in the same places, I feel change is a sign of growth and if you are brave and have courage you can adapt to change, no matter how hard, without resistance. You can become wise enough and in tune enough to know, without over extending time in the wrong places, that you are being pointed in a different direction.

Often the feeling of togetherness can keep us resisting change and resisting progress and this can become a sign of us being of disservice to ourselves, ignoring our intuition and dishonouring life’s flow.

We can often trap ourselves in places and experiences that we have seen time and time again, as they are, they are not working and I believe often this happens because we are caught up in narratives that are not our own, we are admiring from the outside stories we have seen from others and tales that allude us to fantasise/idolise a story that is not our own.

True freedom comes from not forcing but truly flowing with life.

No performance necessary. Just genuinity from the outset, that’s how you build true connection, no mask, no games, no net to catch something or anything, we are destined to let go of.

And so as I give myself permission to flow with life and not force, the obstacles that were never mine to own, slowly dissolve and I find myself coming back to myself more than ever.

Much of my journey required me to be on the go constantly and there were very few occasions when I was able to come up for air and then I stopped because I had to, on multiple occassion actually and probably not even by choice just the body needing to breakdown and the mind needing to be free of thought which eventually led me to take a real moment to myself, look around and whilst still persevering recognise that I have a choice to make regarding how I intend to move forward, who I intend to be and how I intend to show up.

The old ways, habits etc hadn’t worked for a long time and yet they were so engrained and the last remnants of something to cling to but costly and harmful and so I had to decide for once can I choose me?

For once can I acknowledge myself and all I have faced and admit I want to move forward differently.

Can I release any/all guilt and shame for not wanting to remain the same or hold my hand out in the ways I have done and for once can I see my truth and accept who I actually am. Accept what I’ve been through without looking the other way and for once hold my self with gentleness?

I’m writing this today to anyone who comes across my writing and is in a place of struggle and can’t see the light of the end of the tunnel but knows it’s there. The advice I share which frustrates me, is that the option of most importance is that you keep on going; you can slow down, you can pivot, you can try and try again and undoubtably you must rest but giving up on yourself no matter how appealing it may feel, is not an option because there is light sat the end of the tunnel and it starts with you choosing yourself.

I believe with all of my heart that what is for you will always be for you and at your core your dreams and visions will always keep calling until fulfilled.

You may forget,

life will happen,

you may become distracted,

you will fall out of alignment,

you may get caught up in stories that feel familiar but are not your stories at all and the truth is these occurrences are all ok.

Know this, you deserve to tap into your greatness. You deserve to know yourself and love yourself truly for who you are and you deserve the chance to embrace your journey without feeling as though you have to partake in narratives that just do not feel home to you.

It’s ok and important to do things differently.

It’s ok and important to pave your own path, ride your own wave and shape your own lane whilst being yourself.

And no matter what you come up against, with time and effort on your part, you shall and you will overcome.

I now understand healing to mean learning to release the pain associated with traumatic memories whereas before maybe I saw healing as a wound that needed patching up, a brokenness that couldn’t be mended. I recognise the things that were sent to break me merely left invisible scars and what keeps the scars alive is the pain associated with them.

This pain is very real and not to be dismissed but to be felt through. To find clarity for yourself and relinquish the need to blame you.

You are powerful because you refuse to allow the pain to consume you instead you face the pain head on and battle with the aftermath of wars waged upon you by those who you have loved most and look at that, you are still alive.

You survived and life looks very different now.

You can do anything.

YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!

Whilst I write this to everyone, I know in my heart I write to me, to serve as a reminder to keep on going and to keep believing in all that I can be.

Sending light & love, ALWAYS.

And Remember: “To Love Thyself Would Be An Awfully BIG Adventure.” Lahayla Dahlia Lore - SLLS365

On the grand scale of things, my immediate thought is war, mistreatment of Human Beings and the devastation caused by some Human Beings to Mother Earth but if we bring it closer to home and look at Self, are you able to recognise where you call chaos into your life?

What’s interesting is that without proper reflection, it can be very easy to overlook this. For example: with Human Beings sometimes I feel the lack of care and community puts people in a position to neglect themselves and like anything, once this becomes a habit, it is not easily recognisable.

Sometimes in order for people to do better they need to be reminded that they are cared for and they do matter and this doesn’t have to mean constantly filling people up with your time and effort, to the point where you leave yourself in a deficit, it just means on a basic level treating one another as though we wish to be treated with kindness and compassion and sometimes that looks like ‘I see you.’ Showing compassion and understanding for those who get caught up in ways that cause more harm than good and in merely being present alone, reminding one another that peace is always available.

Everyday we are making choices regarding how we choose to live and it is easy to get swept up in chaos, repeating habits that aren’t serving us and keeping company of those who also aren’t serving themselves which creates a vicious cycle.

We have systems surrounding us also that at the core have the opportunity to assist with individuals living better but when systems are also neglected this impacts individual growth. Don’t get me wrong I know above anything an individual must want better for themselves before better can happen but if societal services have had to step in, then it is the duty of said service to ensure they play their role as an individual has already shown they are struggling. There is already chaos there.

Love comes in when people step up, are accountable, do the work and it takes all parties upholding their commitment to ensure peaceful growth.

Abandonment hurts but what if we aren’t abandoning people per se but the ways in which we function with people and sometimes the best/only way to do that is through releasing. Standing in love whilst also having to let go.

Peace or chaos, what are you choosing?

Take a moment to visualise what peace looks and feels like for you?

And now do the same for chaos?

Chaos hurts. Peace heals yet chaos can be a conduit for change.

Choosing love in the face of adversity is strength; being present whilst witnessing others pain, distain and neglect for self, isn’t easy yet sometimes that is exactly what we are called to do because we must give people the opportunity to rectify themselves for themselves. And sometimes the mere presents alone of someone who is operating on a different frequency is enough, to have a positive ricochet effect.

If you are being called to step into anyones chaos, I hope you are able to do so with eyes that can see, ears that can hear and an understanding heart.

The world, Mother Earth, is amazing.

Societies, systems and conditioning can be heavily flawed and so let this serve as a reminder that we are Spiritual Beings having a Human Experience, no one in control of the other and remember people need space and time to course correct; people are undergoing their own lessons and the journey of loving self isn’t at all an easy one.

Throughout today, are you able to recognise where you choose between peace and chaos?

Acknowledge it and let life flow.

Peace creates harmony.

Chaos disharmony.

And yet chaos can also serve as a positive, in terms of shaking things up in order to allow for growth.

B A L A N C E

Sending light & love, A L W A Y S x

And remember: “To Love Thyself Would Be An Awfully BIG Adventure.” LD Lore

This AM as I rise, I rise with the Sunrise.

I watch darkness turn to light and as I ponder on my current circumstances which way I want to go? what choice to make? I am reminded that the earth keeps turning and the sun keeps rising and the moon is always going through it phases.

Sometimes the easiest thing to do is give up when I am uncertain, have a mental tantrum and not give myself the time I need to work through my internal fog.

Yesterday and today I am choosing to slow down.

Instead of pushing and fighting and completely doing the opposite of what is helpful for myself, I am choosing to hold my peace.

I know that I am always guided and protected and more adept at paying better attention and open to the signs sent to me, when I am operating from a space of calmness.

It’s easy to throw the towel in and I say this as someone who has suffered with Depression for as long as I can remember so it is not to mock these states that we find ourselves in, I feel at this moment I have a level of awareness that is asking me to keep going which feels hard, especially as I move forward in a new direction. I feel it important to stress that by no means am I saying that how one endures their states or the depths of our states are at all easy but I have a choice in terms of the direction I choose to go especially when I give myself the time needed to cultivate greater awareness of my own self sabotaging tendencies.

What I can recognise is that when I am truly open and receptive to listening to myself there’s a great level of peace here.

Whatever you are currently going through fight through it.

Believe in your power to overcome.

Believe in your power to succeed.

Take the time necessary to sit with yourself and listen to what you are being called to do.

Remember to pray and ask for guidance.

Remember to give yourself a hug and remind yourself of how much you have already overcome and always honour your Self Love practice.

Give yourself permission to recognise behavioural patterns that no longer serve you and be gentle as you work through whatever is coming up for you at this moment in time.

You are mighty;

You are loved;

You are powerful.

Take yourself seriously. You are a force to be reckoned with.

And remember: “To Love Thyself Would Be An Awfully BIG Adventure.” SELFLOVELOVESELF365

SelfLoveLoveSelf365's Message is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

And by change, I’m not even talking about proactively changing oneself;

Giving yourself permission to change is surrendering to life’s flow,

Allowing your external surroundings to reflect this new phase of life;

Being open to the current circumstances being presented to you;

Being open to the relationships surrounding you at this present moment in time.

What lessons are you being called to learn from?

Self Mastery is an art and much internal and external work is required of us, in order to triumphantly overcome what we are presented with.

Know this, in any given moment in time, whatever you are being presented with you are capable of overcoming hence its timely arrival in your life. Lessons, some excruciatingly painful are a huge component in growth.

Honouring and choosing growth, if we truly understand the power of the mind, then it would be clear to see and recognise how we get in our own way by allowing negative thoughts not only to block our blessings but to navigate us in the wrong directions.

Leap in faith.

Make space for this new path and the lessons.

A Mind fixated on past trauma, without any kind of intervention, leaves no space for new beginnings so I implore you to do the self work as it truly is life changing.

Give yourself permission to go into new phases releasing the old no matter how scary.

Remember nothing can happen before its time, you can’t force a healed version of yourself before being capable of addressing that which has solidified within you.

Healing is such an important journey, learning to love yourself must be a priority but there is no rushing, no short cuts. Give yourself all the time you need and know that in doing so you are also giving the Most High permission to allow your life to unfold as it is supposed to - actively participating whilst surrendering.

Trauma has such a profound effect on the mind so if you are reaching out through your depths - I congratulate you. The work isn’t easy but you are worth it.

The version of you, you are opening yourself up to, is worth it.

Give thanks for awareness as you journey and be patient with yourself and others especially when it comes to love.

Love is such a beautiful and precious gift.

Get our mind right and keep your mind right by taking care of your mental garden.

“All That A Man Achieves And All That He Fails To Achieve Is The Direct Result Of His Own Thoughts.”

Book: AS A MAN THINKETH - James Allen

As I say, Mind Your Mind. Mastering your thoughts is a huge contributing factor to mastering your life.

Be brave and give yourself permission to change.

Let love in.

Set yourself free.

Be open to the magic unfolding around you and within you.

Rise through any depths of despair, love yourself and keep actively choosing to be present in the now.

And remember: “To Love Thyself Would Be An Awfully BIG Adventure.” LD Lore - Selfloveloveself365

SelfLoveLoveSelf365's Message is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

And So I Write

For Even Present Day I’m Haunted By The Past’s Cold Nights.

Leave It Alone They Say

But They Just Aren’t In My Head

Don’t You Think I Long And Dream To Put It All To Bed.

B L I N D I N G

Blinded By The Lights (The Streets)

Frightened By My Own Mind

Only Safe With Self To Tuck In At Night

F E A R F R E E

How I Long To Be

A New Time & A New Place

Is Now My Destiny. LD L O R E

Thanks for reading SelfLoveLoveSelf365's Message! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Thanks for reading SelfLoveLoveSelf365's Message! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Thanks for reading SelfLoveLoveSelf365's Message! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Thanks for reading SelfLoveLoveSelf365's Message! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Thanks for reading SelfLoveLoveSelf365's Message! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.