It’s built through repetition.

Many people think courage arrives first.

In reality, courage often appears after we’ve taken the first few uncertain steps.

In this video I talk about why courage grows through repetition — choosing to stay engaged even when fear hasn’t disappeared.

Fear doesn’t always disappear. But over time, it loses its authority when we stop letting it decide.

Leaders move forward even when the path isn’t fully visible.

Uncertainty is where fear grows strongest.

When outcomes aren’t clear, the brain fills the gaps with worst-case scenarios. We wait for more information, more confidence, more certainty.

But certainty rarely arrives in leadership, creative work, or industries moving through disruption.

In this video I explore why decision creates momentum — and why movement often restores clarity.

In the Licensed2BBadass framework, the “D” stands for decide and discipline — the ability to move thoughtfully even when conditions aren’t perfect.

Emotional intelligence begins with noticing what’s happening internally.

When pressure builds, the brain shifts quickly into survival mode.

That shift isn’t a character flaw. It’s biology.

But when the brain is operating from that state, perspective narrows. Everything feels urgent, personal, and permanent.

In this video I talk about why awareness is the first step in changing that state and how simply naming what’s happening internally can bring reasoning back online.

Awareness is a quiet skill, but it’s the doorway to emotional intelligence, leadership clarity, and resilience.

Sometimes it shows up quietly as disengagement.

Opening paragraph:

Lately I’ve been having conversations with broadcasters across the industry as we all prepare for the NAB Show in Las Vegas.

The themes are consistent. Uncertainty. Industry change. Layoffs and restructuring. Digital disruption moving faster than organizations can adapt.

What I’m noticing most, though, isn’t panic. It’s something quieter.

People pulling back. Holding ideas. Waiting.

In this video I talk about why fear in professional environments often shows up not as anxiety, but as disengagement — and why recognizing it matters if we want to keep momentum during uncertain times.

The Courtyard was created as a place where uncertainty can be observed rather than rushed past. Sometimes simply naming what’s happening is the first step toward moving forward again.

There have been a lot of new faces here lately.

Some arrived through the radio industry.Some through the videos.Some through the work around resilience, leadership, or mental health.

However you found your way here, I’m glad you did.

But it occurred to me that many of you may not actually know who I am, or why I do this work. Not beyond a headline or a book title.

So instead of assuming the backstory is obvious, I recorded a short video to introduce myself properly.

Not as a highlight reel.Just as context.

Because the work I do today didn’t arrive fully formed. It came from a series of experiences that, at the time, didn’t seem connected at all.

When you step back and look at them together, though, a pattern emerges.

Here are ten things you may not know about me — the experiences that shaped the path I’m on today.

I travel in a fifth-wheel RV with my golden retriever, Kismet. Last summer we visited numerous radio stations across the country.

I grew up in the BOSS Radio era at KHJ in Los Angeles. Radio is part of my pedigree.

My family built and owned five radio stations in California for nearly twenty years. I wore just about every hat you can imagine in a station.

I spent two decades in FCC compliance consulting, working with thousands of stations—from major markets to the smallest transmitter-site operations.

A cardiac health issue forced me to step off the executive track and rethink everything I thought success looked like.

I’ve lost two brothers and both of my parents. Grief has been a teacher I never asked for, but one that shaped my understanding of resilience.

I went back to school, earned a master’s degree in psychology, and became a licensed psychotherapist.

I stayed closely connected to radio, becoming a confidential sounding board for broadcasters navigating pressure, burnout, and change.

Those conversations led to creating tools like Apple A Day, Licensed2BBadass, and Flipping the Format on the Fear of Failure—ways to make personal growth practical and memorable.

I’m also a novelist. Dead Air: The Day the Music Died is my debut. Writing fiction is a craft I pursue simply because I love it.

At first glance, those things might look like different careers.

But they’re not.

They’re different doors that all lead to the same place.

The Courtyard.

Radio taught me how to listen.Grief taught me how to stay present when life gets uncomfortable.Psychology gave me language for experiences many people struggle to describe.Story gave me a way to explore those experiences without defensiveness.

The Courtyard, as I think of it, is simply where those threads meet.

It’s a place where awareness is practiced.Where discomfort is tolerated long enough to learn from it.Where engagement is chosen—even when fear would rather we step away.

If you’re new here, this video is simply an introduction.

And if you’ve been here a while, consider it a reminder of why this work exists in the first place.

Below is the video if you’d like to watch.

Ten Things You May Not Know About Me

However you arrived here—radio, writing, leadership, or curiosity—I’m glad you stepped into the Courtyard.

And I’m always interested in hearing your story too.

What brought you here?

More often, it arrives quietly—through hesitation, disengagement, and a gradual pulling back from life. It looks like waiting. Like postponing. Like telling ourselves we’ll re-enter once we feel more confident or certain.

But that moment rarely comes.

In this week’s video, I talk about the quieter ways fear takes the wheel—not by overwhelming us, but by convincing us to stay on the sidelines. Fear doesn’t announce itself. It blends in. It sounds reasonable. It asks us to wait until conditions feel safer.

Using the WKRP framework, and especially the P for Positive Psychology, I explore why re-engagement doesn’t require confidence first. It requires participation. Even small decisions, made while fear is still present, help re-engage the nervous system and rebuild momentum.

Positive psychology isn’t about pretending everything is fine. It’s about choosing the next healthy action from where you actually are. Awareness matters—but awareness without action can quietly turn into another form of avoidance.

This conversation lives at the intersection of leadership, mental health, creativity, and lived experience. It’s about learning how to stay engaged with life—and with ourselves—without waiting for fear to disappear.

The Courtyard exists for this kind of re-entry. Not dramatic leaps forward, but honest steps back into participation. One decision at a time.

If fear has been showing up for you as withdrawal rather than alarm, consider watching this video with a simple question in mind:

Where might engagement begin again—without waiting for certainty?

Sometimes staying engaged is the bravest choice available.

Not because we’re incapable.Not because we’ve failed.But because stress changes how the brain functions.

When pressure rises, higher reasoning doesn’t disappear—it goes offline. Survival takes over. Options narrow. Perspective shrinks. What once felt manageable suddenly feels overwhelming. That isn’t a character flaw. It’s biology.

In this week’s video, I talk about the difference between state and identity, and why that distinction matters so much when we’re under pressure. Stress is a state. Fear is a state. Overwhelm is a state. None of them define who you are—but when they go unrecognized, they start making decisions for you.

This conversation looks at what happens neurologically when we’re overwhelmed, and why awareness is often the first step toward regulation. Not fixing. Not forcing clarity. Just noticing what state you’re actually in before reacting from it.

I draw from neuroscience, psychotherapy, leadership work, and my own lived experience—especially moments when overwhelm made everything feel uncertain and options felt out of reach. In those moments, the work wasn’t about finding the right answer. It was about restoring enough regulation to respond instead of react.

This sits at the intersection of:

* awareness and metacognition

* nervous system regulation

* leadership under pressure

* creative and professional resilience

The Courtyard exists for this kind of noticing. A place where stress can be treated as information, not a verdict. Where clarity is allowed to return gradually, once the nervous system feels safe enough to support it.

If things feel unsettled for you right now, consider watching this video with one question in mind—not What should I do? but What state am I in?

Sometimes that awareness alone is enough to change the ground you’re standing on.

We’re often taught to treat that moment as a warning sign.Something to avoid.Something to fix.Something to push through as quickly as possible.

But in growth, leadership, and healing, discomfort is often a sign that something honest is happening.

In this week’s video, I talk about why discomfort isn’t failure—it’s contact. The kind of contact that happens when we stop running on adrenaline and the nervous system begins to recalibrate. When the body asks, Are we safe here? not because something is wrong, but because something is new.

I explore what actually happens in the nervous system when we stay present with unease instead of trying to escape it. Why relaxation can feel unfamiliar before it feels peaceful. And why resilience isn’t about powering through, but staying with yourself when things feel unsettled.

This conversation draws from my work in psychotherapy, leadership, and radio, as well as my own RV journey—where discomfort and uncertainty were part of the terrain, not signs to turn back. It looks at the difference between discomfort and danger, and why confusing the two keeps people stuck.

This sits at the intersection of:

* nervous system regulation

* leadership under pressure

* resilience and responsibility

* and what it really means to stay the course

The Courtyard was created as a place where uncertainty is tolerated—not rushed, fixed, or judged. A place where discomfort doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re present.

If discomfort is showing up in your life right now, consider this an invitation to pause before labeling it as wrong.

Discomfort isn’t the detour.It’s the door.

Devil’s Tower: A Place of Reflection

Devil’s Tower, famously featured in the 1977 Spielberg movie “Close Encounters of the Third Kind,” served as my chosen destination. Watching the movie here reminded me of the conspiracy theories and alien encounters purported in pop culture, contrasting sharply with the reality of grief and healing I faced. The Native Americans regard this tower as a sacred spot, marked by prayer bundles and the presence of a teepee, all of which captivated my attention. The history and serenity of this place are deeply intertwined, making it an ideal spot for introspection and healing.

Overcoming Obstacles: The Road Here

Reaching Devil’s Tower was not without challenges. My journey was fraught with logistical mishaps that could have easily added to my mental burden. Plagued by trailer alignment issues shortly after a fiasco in Kentucky, I found myself in Sioux Falls, getting repairs and experiencing camaraderie with those managing diesel trucks. These physical obstacles paralleled the emotional ones I faced, reminding me that maintaining resilience was crucial.

The Healing Power of Nature

Nature became my therapist on this trip. Sitting in solitude, I could listen to the wind whispering through the trees and watch my dog Kismet revel in the open space — freedom absent of human distraction. Through this quiet reflection, I deployed all tools at my disposal as a certified grief counselor, acknowledging that even a professional does not have it all figured out. The key was surrendering to the moment — an understanding that emotions are temporary and that healing is a gradual process.

Mental Health Tips: Embracing Nature

For those grappling with similar feelings of sadness, anxiety, or loss, I extend an invitation to embrace nature, even if just for a brief interlude. Engage all your senses: the sound of leaves rustling, the feel of rough bark against your palm, the earthy fragrance of soil, and the peaceful silence. This sensory awareness not only heightens creativity and mindfulness but it also alters body chemistry, lifting mood and setting the stage for more rational problem-solving.

Conclusion: Continuing the Journey

Despite the numerous challenges along the way, from broken equipment to the profound task of writing a book during this journey, the act of stepping into nature provided clarity and peace. As I continue my travels, with planned stops in South Dakota, Wyoming, Utah, and finally, Arizona, I carry forward the lessons shared by nature’s embrace. For anyone facing their own grief journey, I advise taking a moment to step outside, breathe deeply, and find healing in the quiet beauty around us.

Nourish Your Mind and Heart Every Day Ready to cultivate a life filled with wisdom, intention, and a dash of badassery?

Kelly Orchard’s Apple A Day books offer daily encouragements for every season of life—Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter—providing you with a full year of personal growth, insight, and positivity. Each page delivers a quick yet powerful dose of inspiration to shift your mindset, lift your spirits, and keep you grounded in gratitude and growth.

Whether you’re sipping your morning coffee or winding down at the end of a long day, let these pages be your companion in the quiet moments.

All four seasonal editions are available now on Amazon.Give yourself the gift of daily nourishment or share it with someone who could use a little encouragement.

The series of 4 Apple A Day Books are available here:

Flipping the Format Book/Amazon

In this episode of 'Kismet Adventures and Serendipitous Encounters,' host Kelly Orchard converses with Dr. Ed Cohen about his illustrious career in radio. Broadcasting from the office of Steve Newberry at Commonwealth Broadcasting in Glasgow, Kentucky, Dr. Cohen recounts his unexpected entry into the radio industry, his adventures through various roles, and his current mission to reignite the dormant student radio station at Western Kentucky University. Join us as we delve into Dr. Cohen's experiences, his innovative ideas for the student station, and the enduring allure of radio.

We headed off to Kentucky Down Under, a charming and quirky tourist stop that features one of the tiniest of Kentucky’s 2,600 caves… and some unexpectedly adorable animal encounters.

Come along with us as we feed kangaroos, say hello to a chill tortoise, bond with curious emus, and get serenaded by colorful exotic birds. This spot may be off the beaten path, but it’s bursting with personality and playfulness. After our time Down Under (literally and figuratively), we cruised by the Civil War Museum for a quick peek at local history.

Just another magical “Tourist Distraction” during my nearly two-month Kentucky stay—a chapter filled with unexpected challenges, sweet reunions, and plenty of joy.

🐾 Hit that like button if you’d pet a kangaroo too

📍Subscribe for more Kismet Adventures from the road

🎥 Watch the full Kentucky playlist for behind-the-scenes + bonus moments!

Hello, friends.

If you've been following along on my journey, you know this isn't your average cross-country road trip. It's not just about destinations—it's about the detours, the breakdowns, and the breakthroughs.

I just uploaded a new short video—and it’s one of the most honest updates I’ve shared in a while.Let me paint the picture...

I spent nearly two months stuck in Kentucky. And more than a week of that with - No phone service. No Starlink. No satellite TV. And—because the universe has a poetic sense of humor—every attempt to fix the trailer revealed a new obstacle. I called it my Kentucky Groundhog Day.

At first, I felt completely unmoored. But over time, something shifted. I leaned into the quiet. I noticed the kindness of strangers. I found beauty in the stillness. And eventually, I found my way back to myself.

This season has been a gentle (okay, not-so-gentle) reminder:Sometimes, what feels like a delay is actually an invitation. To rest. To reset. To grow.

What’s Next?

I'm rolling forward with a fresh wave of content—including:

* Behind-the-scenes footage of Kentucky's charming corners 🌄

* A new Radio is Not Dead podcast episode 🎙️

* A visit to the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville 🎶

* And of course, more reflections from the road with Kismet 🐾

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going

💬 Have you ever found yourself “stuck” somewhere, only to realize later that it was right where you needed to be? I’d love to hear about it—reply in the comments or hit that 💖 if this resonates with you.

Thanks for riding along with me. It means more than you know.

— With grit & grace,Kelly

Have you ever found yourself so overwhelmed, so emotionally and physically drained, that the only thing you wanted was to go home… but then realized—this is home?

That was me. Sitting in my truck. Staring at my fifth wheel lodged in a Kentucky ditch. Wondering if I’d somehow driven myself into a metaphor.

I didn’t set out to star in a backwoods RV drama, but life seems to have a flair for plot twists lately. The plan was peaceful: a Corps of Engineers campground tucked into the trees. A little rest, some sightseeing with my friend Lanae, and space to process the grief that’s still wrapped around me like a weighted blanket after the loss of my mom.

What I got instead?💥 A tree bump💥 A ditch dive💥 A busted axle💥 A flat tire💥 No cell service💥 And a growing list of "you can’t make this up" moments.

But somehow—I stayed. I stuck it out. I kept showing up for my own story.

And that’s what I want to share with you in this week’s video:🎬 “Stuck in Kentucky: A Hero’s Journey of Resilience”

The Badass Toolbelt Was Working Overtime

If you’ve followed my journey, you know I preach about flipping the format on fear—and believe me, this experience gave me ample opportunity to practice what I teach.Anxiety? Present.Fear? Sure.Self-blame? Oh, she tried to take the wheel.

But this is where years of mental health tools, resilience-building, and stubborn optimism showed up. I didn’t melt down. I didn’t throw in the towel. I put on my proverbial hard hat and figured it out.

With the help of some kind and capable Kentuckians—Leanne, Steve, a few good-hearted strangers, and a welder who showed up like a miracle—I got back on solid ground.

No, the repairs aren’t done yet. Yes, I’m still stuck here for a bit. But I’m okay with that now. Because this isn’t just a story about getting stuck—it’s about staying the course.

This Is What the Hero’s Journey Really Looks Like

You don’t have to slay dragons or return magic rings to be on a hero’s journey.

Sometimes, the “call to adventure” comes in the form of a breakdown. Sometimes, the threshold you cross is paved with potholes, tears, and triple-digit repair bills. But if you can breathe through the panic… if you can find a little humor in the chaos… and if you’re willing to stay when everything in you wants to flee—that’s courage. That’s transformation.

That’s being a badass.

And let me tell you—when the campground host calls you a badass before she even knows your brand? You know the universe is winking at you.

So Here’s My Invitation…

✨ Watch the video. Laugh with me. Gasp with me. Shake your head and say, “Oh no she didn’t.”✨ Share it with someone who’s having a hard time right now—they might need the reminder that this too shall pass.✨ And leave a comment if you’ve ever been stuck—in a ditch, in a dream, or in a season of life that tested everything you had.

I’d love to hear your story.

🛠️ “Stuck in Kentucky” is just one stop on the road.There’s more to come—from Nashville, the Ark Encounter, and beyond.Because radio isn’t dead, and neither am I. 😉

Thanks for traveling with me.

Stay badass,Kelly Orchard🌳 Licensed2BBadass🐾 Powered by Kismet

P.S. If you haven’t subscribed to my YouTube channel yet, now’s a great time. You’ll find behind-the-scenes stories, travel updates, and real talk about mental health, grief, creativity, and RV life—all wrapped up in a hopeful message you can take on the road.

🌟 Exciting summer plans ahead! Heading to Kentucky for a month of adventure with friends. Can't wait to explore fireworks, visit a radio station tour, and see Tennessee walker horses! Stay tuned for updates on this kismet journey! #KentuckyAdventures #SummerPlans #KismetInKentucky

🎥 Watch the full update on my YouTube Channel here:

📚 Follow the Radio is Not Dead Tour and the adventures with with Kismet!#LifeAfterLoss #RadioIsNotDead #DeadAir #AuthorLife

There’s something about the desert in the early morning — before the sun burns off the chill, before the dust begins to rise — that invites reflection.So today, as I sat on a cracked concrete slab with Kismet tugging on his leash and tossing dirt all over me (typical), I paused to take stock. To breathe. To share a little update with you, my community, who have been part of this wild and beautiful ride. 🚐✨

After the whirlwind of the NAB Show and the launch of Dead Air, my heart has been riding two currents at once: the excitement of new momentum and the gentle pull of grief still working its way through me.

One of the most personal decisions I made recently was to postpone the scattering of my parents' ashes.I thought I was ready.After all the celebration, the sense of "life moving forward," it seemed fitting to honor them during this RV journey.But when I held both of their remains together in my hands, I knew — deep in my bones — that it was too soon.

Grief doesn’t follow a schedule.It doesn’t take kindly to being penciled into our plans.It blooms and ebbs and whispers, "Not yet," when you least expect it.

So for now, my parents are safely entrusted to my son’s care.And when the time feels right — when our hearts are aligned — we’ll come together and honor them properly.A sacred pause. A breath between journeys. 🕊️

Meanwhile, life rolls forward on dusty wheels...

🎙️ Dead Air is officially launched into the world, and though I haven’t gotten all the NAB sales reports yet, the early feedback has been incredible. Thank you for the support, encouragement, and excitement! It means more than I can put into words.

🎥 I've created a new sizzle reel, updated my YouTube channel, and the "Radio is Not Dead" Tour has officially launched — with my first stop coming up soon in Prescott, Arizona. (And yes, the radio waves are alive and well, my friends!)

🐾 Kismet is, of course, my trusty (if mischievous) travel companion.He’s had a little veterinary adventure recently — a minor health scare that turned into a not-so-minor vet bill — but he’s on the mend, still chasing rocks and dreams with wild abandon. 🐕💨

🏡 And the big summer plan?I'll be heading east toward Kentucky — reconnecting with dear friends, working remotely, visiting some incredible new places (including radio stations, the Ark Encounter, and maybe even a few horse farms along the way).It feels... meant to be.Serendipitous.Dare I say — Kismet. ✨

And one more seed I’m planting in the desert soil:

📚 While out here walking the trails and recentering, I dusted off a long-held dream —Flipping the Format on the Fear of Failure,a book blending my years in broadcasting with my work as a therapist, bringing mental wellness tools to an industry (and a world) that sorely needs them.

Sometimes the road less traveled calls you back... even when you thought you’d moved past it.I’m answering that call now. And it feels exactly right.

There’s more to come.More dust, more dreams, more stories, more hope. 🌻

Thank you for being part of the journey.For walking these sacred spaces between endings and beginnings with me.

Stay tuned, stay hopeful, and stay a little dusty, my friends.

With love and gratitude,Kelly OrchardAuthor | Traveler | Therapist | Radio Veteran

🎥 Watch the full update on my YouTube Channel📚 Grab your copy of Dead Air🚐 Follow the Radio Is Not Dead Tour and the adventures with Kismet!

Watch the full story here: 👉 Click to watch on YouTube:

💛 Stay connected:Website: kellyorchard.comSubstack: https://substack.com/@kellyorchardDead Air on Amazon: https://a.co/d/3xPgoLXLinktree: https://linktr.ee/BadassCertifier

Watch the full story here: 👉 Click to watch on YouTube:

💛 Stay connected:Website: kellyorchard.comSubstack: https://substack.com/@kellyorchardDead Air on Amazon: https://a.co/d/3xPgoLXLinktree: https://linktr.ee/BadassCertifier

I just returned from the NAB Show in Las Vegas—my first time back since before COVID—and this year was personal.Two weeks ago, I lost my mother. And two weeks later, I found myself on a convention floor, talking about a fictional crisis in the world of radio while navigating my very real one.Why did I go? Because Dead Air: The Day the Music Died was debuting to the broadcast industry, and I knew in my bones it wasn’t just about the book. It was about my father’s legacy. My own resilience. And the story I had to share—not just on the page, but in person.THE STORY BEHIND THE SIGNINGSI had two book signings. I gave out bookmarks with pictures of Mike Harris, Gunner Jeffries, Jackie Shure, and Roy Longly—and a QR code to “flip your fear.” Broadcasters stopped, smiled, and said, “I’ve been that guy,” or “I know her.” One engineer leaned in and whispered, “You know what’s scary? This could really happen.”That’s when I knew Dead Air was doing what I hoped—it was resonating.NAVIGATING LOSS IN A LOUD, BRIGHT WORLDSome moments were hard. I wore tennis shoes with my jeans because my feet couldn’t handle one more mile of convention center tile. I found a penny slot machine to rest my body—and somehow walked away $100 ahead. Small wins. Needed ones.I talked about my mom. People were kind. I listened to others who had lost parents and kept showing up. We reminded each other: we go on. Even when we don’t know how.THE ROAD AHEAD: RADIO IS NOT DEAD TOURNext up is the “Radio Is Not Dead” Tour. I’ll be traveling the country in my RV with Kismet (who hasn’t left my side since I returned). I’ll visit radio stations, write my next novel, and bring Licensed2BBadass to life in new ways.There might be changes. My route is evolving. But I have the freedom now to take my time. And yes—I’m considering taking my parents’ ashes with me. A final cross-country tour with the two people who got me into this life in the first place.Thanks for being part of this journey. I’m still learning what it means to flip the format on fear, even as I live it out loud. See you on the road.💛 Kelly OrchardDead Air: The Day the Music DiedLicensed2BBadass: Flipping the Format on FearKismet the Golden Retriever

The series of 4 Apple A Day Books are available here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DSXVRKCF?binding=kindle_edition&ref_=ast_author_bsi See my other books at: amazon.com/author/kellyorchard

See my other books at: amazon.com/author/kellyorchard

💛 Stay connected:

Website: kellyorchard.com

Substack: https://substack.com/@kellyorchard

Dead Air on Amazon: https://a.co/d/3xPgoLX

Follow my journey with Kismet, writing, grief, and RV life.

—

🔔 Subscribe for updates on writing, healing, and life on the road.

🐾 Featuring: Kismet the Golden Retriever

My Author Page

amazon.com/author/kellyorchard

Dead Air

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DXFSMGGD?ref_=ast_author_mpb

But life, as it so often does, had other ideas.

On March 1st, the very same day my book came into the world, my mom’s health suddenly declined. I rushed back to California. And just a few days ago, I said goodbye to her for the last time.

She was 87. She had AFib, COPD, a little heart failure—but she was still Mom. Still feisty and full of history. The fall just took too much out of her. And though I’m grateful I was here, I was not ready. Not for the end.

I’m sharing this not to invite sympathy, but to remind you: We live in the both/and. We can launch something beautiful while carrying something heavy. We can show up to promote our passions while tending to heartbreak. We can feel it all—and still move forward.

Because the show must go on.

That’s not just a line for performers—it’s a truth for anyone carrying a dream through a storm.

If you’d like to hear the full story, I recorded a brief video update from the road. It’s unscripted, vulnerable, and honest—just as life has been lately.

🎥 Watch the video on YouTube:

And if you’ve recently found yourself navigating your own bittersweet season, know this: You’re not alone. We can honor the grief and still chase the dream.

With love from the road,Kelly Orchard✍️ Author. Traveler. Grief Specialist.🎙️ Licensed2BBadass

Lately, my life has been more like the latter.

Between launching Dead Air, adjusting to full-time RV life, and taking on the role of caregiver for my mom after a serious fall, the past few months have been an emotional and physical rollercoaster. Through it all, I’ve been documenting this journey—sometimes in real-time, sometimes in quiet reflection, but always with the hope that sharing my story might resonate with you, too.

📻 A Love Letter to Radio

Dead Air was born from my lifelong love of radio—an industry that shaped me, my family, and my career. My father was there at the birth of Boss Radio, and I grew up immersed in the stories, the legends, and the golden era of broadcasting. Writing this novel felt like capturing that history in a time capsule, weaving it into a thriller that radio professionals and fans alike would recognize as authentic.

The most rewarding part? Seeing the response from my peers in the industry—people who lived and breathed radio, just like my dad did. Hearing from those who say this book truly feels like a piece of radio’s legacy has been the highlight of this entire experience.

But even as I celebrated the book launch, life had other plans.

💙 Family First: When Life Takes an Unexpected Turn

Just as Dead Air started gaining momentum, my mom suffered a serious fall, requiring me to step in and help move her into a safer living situation. The experience was a reminder of just how quickly everything can change. Balancing caregiving with my book launch and adapting to my new nomadic lifestyle in my Grand Design Reflection RV has been overwhelming at times, but it’s also taught me to slow down, appreciate the little victories, and trust the process.

Between doctor's appointments and organizing her transition, I found solace in the small wins—the five-star reviews coming in for Dead Air, the messages from friends and colleagues, and even the moments of quiet reflection I was able to steal in the early mornings with my coffee and my dog, Kismet, by my side.

🚐 RV Life: Adventures, Challenges & Lessons on the Road

Let’s talk about towing a fifth wheel for the first time—because wow, that was an adventure all on its own! With a bigger gas tank and a lot of nerves, I made my first long-distance haul, learning lessons along the way. Arriving at my campground and backing in (with some much-appreciated help from the manager) was a milestone I won’t forget.

RV life isn’t just about the freedom of the open road—it’s also about troubleshooting, flexibility, and learning as you go. I’ve been diving into solar installation plans for off-grid boondocking, managing unexpected trailer issues, and figuring out how to balance this lifestyle with everything else on my plate.

Some days, I feel like I’m thriving. Other days, it’s a reminder that I’m still adjusting. But that’s the beauty of this journey.

🎤 Remembering the Legends & Lessons of Radio

As I reflected on all of these changes, I found myself thinking more about the incredible people who shaped my radio journey. My dad. The legends I met at LA radio reunions. The mentors and friends who made this industry feel like home.

Through a series of video clips, I’ve been sharing stories about my dad’s role in radio, our adventures inspecting stations together, and the industry icons I had the privilege of learning from. Whether it was Clear Channel’s consolidation era, the early days of Boss Radio, or simply reminiscing about the magic of live broadcasting, these memories have been a grounding force for me during this whirlwind season.

I’ve uploaded these stories to YouTube, and I’d love for you to check them out. They’re pieces of history, pieces of my heart, and pieces of the reason I do what I do.

Watch the Full Video & Clips Here:

🎥Navigating Life’s Unexpected Turns: Dead Air, RV Life & Family

✨ Final Thoughts: What’s Next?

I don’t have all the answers yet. I’m still figuring out how to balance everything—my book, my family, my travels, my work. But one thing I do know? I’m grateful for this journey, and for the people who are along for the ride.

If you’ve ever faced a season of unexpected change—where life threw everything at you all at once—know that you’re not alone. We figure it out together.

💡 I’d love to hear from you—what’s been a time in your life when you had to navigate a major shift? How did you manage it? Drop a comment or send me a message.

Until next time, keep chasing your dreams, embracing the unexpected, and—most importantly—keep the radio on.

With gratitude,Kelly

Many have asked if I have a YouTube channel dedicated to my RV lifestyle; while I didn't before, that’s all about to change. I wanted to bring something unique to the table, and what better way than to combine my love for travel and radio? My purpose is to visit radio stations across the country, and the radio community is buzzing with excitement over this novel concept.

The Mission: Radio Station Rendezvous

The goal of this journey is simple yet profound: to reach out to radio broadcasters across the nation. If you're part of the radio world and interested in having me visit your station, I have a questionnaire ready for you. This six-month road trip will begin from California, traverse the southern states, and lead us all the way to Nashville, Tennessee. If your station falls within this route, I'd love the opportunity to stop by.

Why radio stations, you ask? Because I want to showcase the strength and impact of local radio stations within their communities. By bringing my podcast to your station, we can reveal the behind-the-scenes action, highlighting what makes your community vibrant and unique.

The Adventure Awaits

This venture isn't just about work; it's about having fun too. The "Adventures of Kelly and Kismet" podcast is evolving, and I'll continue sharing tales of my travels with Kismet, my trusty dog. We're still writing and dreaming, as I craft my next novel while promoting "Dead Air."

Every stop at a radio station is a chance for connection and creativity. I'll be documenting my time at the NAB bookstore, making new connections, and even purchasing a camera for future episodes. After the NAB, we’ll return to California, collect the trailer, and the radio tour truly begins.

So, radio enthusiasts and curious minds alike, if you're along the route of our journey, reach out and give me a reason to visit. Let's amplify your community’s voice and have some unforgettable fun together!

Thank you for joining me on this adventure. The open road and airwaves await. Stay tuned and travel well!

Links:

Video Invite:

Questionnaire: https://us17.list-manage.com/survey?u=fd7c1e649048ca8bdff419529&id=45dbc0ea86&attribution=false

A New Chapter Begins

Life in the RV has been a whirlwind ever since I upgraded my trusty rig. Picture this: a vast expanse of Arizona, where "Dead Air: The Day the Music Died" was born in the cozy confines of my trailer. This journey continues to evolve, just like my latest F 350 diesel and 33-foot 5th Wheel. Now, as I embark on another tour, Dead Air is set for its launch, and it's going to be an exhilarating ride!

Launching "Dead Air" into the World

The publishing world is fiercely competitive. With "Dead Air," I made a personal choice to carve my own path. Collaborating with the talented Mike McVay of McVay Media Consulting, we are using a grassroots approach to bring this unique story to life. Our mission: to captivate radio communities to join our journey. This means engaging with insiders and expanding collaborations—a journey driven by creativity and innovation.

Embracing the RV Lifestyle

Out on the road, my life is a blend of psychotherapy and adventure. Phone sessions in picturesque settings have become my norm, all while planning the solar-powered transformation of my mobile home away from home. In beautiful Quartzsite, I’ll document the process and share it with all of you!

Mapping the Route to Nashville

The dream of a cross-country trip led me to Nashville, Tennessee—a decision spurred by multiple signs one serendipitous weekend. With Kismet by my side, we'll traverse the Southern states, documenting every experience, starting in California and culminating in Nashville. Interested radio stations—I'm heading your way!

Engaging the Community

This road trip is about connections. Not just with radio stations, but with you! I'm reaching out to broadcasters for collaboration and to listeners for insights. Your curiosity shapes our journey; your input is invaluable. Let me know what you want to see and learn about, and together, we’ll make this adventure memorable.

What to Expect

From Quartzsite’s stellar RV solutions to lively Las Vegas for the National Association of Broadcasters Convention, I’ll continue documenting our journey. Alongside launching "Dead Air," I'm exploring a podcast/vlog venture, bringing mental health insights tailored for the road-weary traveler.

Join the Adventure

As you follow my blog, expect insights into radio stations and behind-the-scenes glimpses into local communities. Whether you’re a fan of radio or a fellow traveler, your input will help shape this journey into something extraordinary. The adventure is unfolding, and you’re invited!

Stay Connected

Stay updated by visiting my website, kellyorchard.com, and subscribing for email updates. Dive into discussions in our Facebook group, "Dead Air: The Day the Music Died," where we explore leadership, mental health, and more.

This is just the beginning. Our journey to Nashville promises stories rich with discovery, laughter, and connection. Thank you for being part of this remarkable adventure. Until next time, keep dreaming and traveling!

The adventures of Kelly and Kismet continue…

The Journey Begins

It's an exhilarating season as I dive back into marketing—a world I haven’t actively participated in for years. By the time this post is published, the launch of Dead Air will be just around the corner, and I couldn't be more thrilled. Editing the promotional videos has been a labor of love, consuming days of meticulous work.

When I first started recording my journey, I had no clear plan for these videos. They originated from an intent to document my thoughts, rather than journal them—resulting in a story that evolved into the completion of Dead Air.

From Concept to Creation

The novel idea for Dead Air began taking shape while I was exploring personal growth through journal reviews and pursuing the UCLA novel writing course. My father’s passing amplified the urgency to bring this story to life, making it a poignant tribute.

Realizing that traditional publishing would mean a two-year delay, I opted for self-publishing to keep the novel timely, especially given its focus on current technological trends.

The Characters Come Alive

In crafting the world of Dead Air, I introduced a cast of compelling characters: Mike Harris, the chief engineer and hero; Roy Longly, the resilient market manager; Gunner Jeffries, the program director; and Jackie Shure, the elevated radio personality. These characters form the backbone of the story, each intertwined with the high-paced dynamic of a radio station.

An Artistic Endeavor

Writing Dead Air has been an intense, yet deeply rewarding experience. While the journey tested my patience, it affirmed my commitment to storytelling as both a craft and an art form. I’ve come to embrace it as a passion worth investing in, regardless of commercial success.

Marketing Wonderland

Adept at adapting, I enlisted my friend Mike McVay, a radio consultant, to assist with marketing—an endeavor out of both our comfort zones. Together, we're devising creative strategies to spread the word in the radio industry and beyond, leveraging our associations and the power of social media.

Reflection and Gratitude

This past year has been transformative. After losing my dad, I found solace in writing, with his memory guiding me. Engaging in moments shared with him while traveling to places like Mount Wilson, which features prominently in the novel, was a healing process that steered my creativity.

Looking Ahead

The countdown to Dead Air’s release is on, with a hopeful launch around mid-March, coinciding with key events like the NAB Convention. I am excited about the possibilities and look forward to sharing my story with a broader audience through potential podcasts and guest interviews.

Conclusion

Thank you to all who have followed my journey thus far. The adventures of life on the road are ever-evolving, filled with writing, discovery, and precious moments with my canine companion, Kismet. Here's to the next chapter of creativity and exploration! See you soon on this captivating journey.

The thrill of the open road, the allure of the untamed forest, and the solitude of a writer’s retreat—these are the moments that shape not only my travels but also the tapestry of my creative journey. Recently, my adventures took me from the serene embrace of Crowley Lake to the majestic reaches of Mammoth. Here, amidst the whispers of the forest, I found myself enveloped in nature’s quiet, an expanse where every sense is heightened, where the mind clears, and creativity unfurls its wings.

Rain, Solitude, and Reflection

As I traverse these new landscapes, the rain becomes my constant companion, a rhythmic lullaby on the roof of my humble home on wheels. It is in the solitude that the rain provides that I am reminded to reflect, to reassess, and to write. The rain is not a hindrance; rather, it is an invitation to delve deeper into the storylines running through my mind. It offers a cocoon of tranquility, creating the perfect backdrop for a writer’s retreat, where each drop seems to cleanse distractions, allowing the words to flow freely onto the page.

The Heart of 'Dead Air'

This journey is more than a physical escapade; it is also a trek through the narrative landscapes of 'Dead Air', my debut novel. The story, much like my travels, is a symphony of experiences, emotions, and characters that demand to be told. Behind the scenes, Dead Air's characters—Mike Harris, Jackie Shure, Roy Longly, and Gunner Jeffries—live and breathe in the quiet moments of reflection, urging me to complete their tale with honesty and vigor.

The obstacles encountered on the road, the sudden tears amidst the mammoth beauty of nature, and the technical hurdles of maintaining an RV mirror the creative process itself. They are reminders of the unexpected twists that enrich our stories and lives. As I navigate these challenges, I find a parallel in the words of my late father, who would remind me that delays are mere diversions, often safeguarding us from greater calamities and pushing us to grow as individuals and creators.

Back to the Creative Workspace

As I settle into my current refuge—a cozy, rain-dampened horse ranch—the mantra of creation rings true: embrace where you are, nurture your passions, and cultivate happiness in the moment. This temporary stillness allows me to focus on the intricacies of writing, turning my travel trailer into a writer’s sanctuary. Here, I am not distracted by errands to run or chores to finish; instead, the space invites endless creativity and contemplation.

Looking Ahead

As I continue down the winding roads, both literal and figurative, I remain committed to molding my narrative into one that resonates not only with readers but also with the deepest corners of my own heart. The characters of 'Dead Air’ deserve closure, and it is their story that propels my fingers to dance across the keyboard, capturing the fragments of life that mirror so much more than fiction.

Life is a journey, filled with unexpected rainstorms and brilliant sunsets. My role as a writer is not to predict or control, but to capture these fleeting moments of beauty, and translate them into stories that connect us all, reminding us that even in solitude, we are never truly alone.

Remembering and Reflecting

Approaching the anniversary of my dad's passing has brought a wave of emotions. Grief doesn't have a timeline, and I still experience bursts quite often. My days here are peaceful, yet there's a constant undercurrent of nostalgia for what life used to be. This place gives me the space to process, think, and find the peace I need.

Onwards and Upwards

Today marks my "hitch up and go" day. The plan is to move from Crowley Lake to Mammoth and enjoy some time boondocking in the forest. It’s a liberating lifestyle, allowing me to spend the rest of the summer in the cooler elevations of Mammoth. After Labor Day, I plan to head towards Williams and Flagstaff, Arizona, and set up camp there for a month, waiting for the more manageable fall weather before returning to the ranch in October.

The Craft of Writing

Writing has become a significant part of my journey, particularly my novel, Dead Air. The project is a tribute to my dad and our joint enthusiasm, amplified by his passing. Having finished the first draft, I'm now halfway through the second. I've reached out to the development editor who's helped me previously, and I look forward to collaboration to refine my manuscript. Meanwhile, I've found someone on Facebook, part of a unique group dedicated to photographing transmitter sites, who has graciously allowed me to use one of his breathtaking photos for my book cover.

There’s still work to be done in preparation for the book’s launch come April. I’ve been exploring marketing strategies, particularly ones that involve personal connections in the radio industry, sending out greeting-card-style promotions with the book cover art. It’s a grassroots approach that captures the spirit of the project. I hope to create something that resonates with the audience this story is meant for.

A Change of Pace

Living in this peaceful environment has opened my eyes to the importance of slowing down. My previous life was filled with business meetings and commitments, a cycle I've broken by retreating to this setting. It's been a journey of realizing what's most fulfilling for me now differs significantly from what it was a decade ago. Changing and shifting with time feels natural, and this period is another metamorphosis in my life.

A New Chapter

This isn't just the next chapter; it's the sequel to my life—a rebirth of sorts. I've simplified my life to a 25-foot travel trailer, chasing welcoming weather, enjoying the journey, and preparing for the winter nestled where it feels like home.

As I sit here in Mammoth, 25 degrees cooler than expected, I'm treating myself to the prospect of new adventures and ongoing reflection amidst this compelling backdrop. There's more to come as I continue to embrace this evolving journey and naturally seek out the path forward, exploring both the outer world and my inner landscapes.

Thank you for joining me. Until next time,

The Road Less Traveled

Life's unpredictable nature first revealed itself when I made my way from Arizona to New Mexico, only to be called back due to my mom's health issues. It wasn't long after that she needed hospice care—not because she was nearing the end, but because the pain became too much for us to manage without professional assistance. This new role of supporting my mom has kept me closer to home than anticipated, but it has also been a source of unexpected joy and warmth.

In the midst of these personal challenges, I’ve had the fortune to reconnect with family, especially my grandchildren. Our time together has become a cherished routine, punctuated by sleepovers and afternoons at the local lake.

Embracing Creativity and Resilience

Despite—or perhaps because of—these life-altering experiences, my writing project "Dead Air: The Day the Music Died" has been a beacon of creativity and healing. This novel, which started as a modern-day War of the Worlds narrative, has grown to include radio station hijacks and a community of characters navigating this fictional chaos. Writing has been a wonderful outlet for my grief, a place where I can imagine hearing my dad's chuckle over something clever I've penned.

Armed with more feedback than I imagined from an FCC attorney and a former broadcast engineer, I've begun a second draft, bolstered by insights that ensure fiction remains plausible to experts. Thanks to a development editor's guidance, this draft is coming together with renewed focus and precision.

Looking Forward: A Balancing Act

Even as I immerse myself in writing, other creative projects tug at the edges of my attention. Whether it's the instructional "Tree of Life" book or a new venture, I find structure in creativity essential. This structure has manifested itself in other areas as well—I've redesigned my trailer space, making room for both my dog, Kismet, and my writing endeavors, all under the comforting ambiance of macrame curtains filled with crystals from Sedona.

As I face the future, my focus remains on finishing my novel and perhaps launching it with a major campaign at the National Association of Broadcasters Convention next April. Yet for now, I’m balancing the comfort of creative work with the joys and responsibilities of family, all while grounded in the satisfaction of living an examined, fulfilled life.

The Unfolding Journey

The journey ahead holds its own challenges and triumphs. Whether it’s overcoming the logistics of boondocking or navigating the emotional landscapes of family drama, each step is part of the odyssey that defines my life. While I may not be a "spring chicken" anymore, this time is a testament to reimagining fulfillment and finding joy in the process.

As I pack up my little living space, ready to head back to the Arizona ranch by my birthday in September, I carry with me the lessons learned and the stories yet to be told.

The adventures of Kelly and Kismet are far from over, and we're taking it one carefully crafted moment at a time.

I recently caught up with an old friend from back home, someone I hadn't spoken to in nearly a year. We were once hall buddies at Michelle’s place, but since I moved on almost a year ago, our paths hadn't crossed until now. The conversation sparked a desire within me to share my experiences, especially those related to my solo lifestyle and the technical challenges I’ve faced along the way.

One of the questions that truly resonated was about how I manage my time with a sparse two-day work schedule and avoid boredom while out in nature. It prompted me to reflect on the value of boredom as a catalyst for inner peace and reflection. For me, slow mornings, audiobooks, and creative outlets like writing have become my sanctuary.

Transitioning into a New Lifestyle

Turning 60 was a significant milestone that instigated change. Not only did I let my hair grow long and embrace its natural gray, but I also decided to forego makeup and live more comfortably. This encapsulates a broader transition in my lifestyle, moving away from bustling community activities in favor of quieter, more solitary moments.

Whenever I return to Temecula, I experience a brief urge to reengage with my old community engagements. However, I remind myself of the peace I’ve found in letting go of such commitments, focusing instead on my personal journey.

Tapping into Creativity

Losing my father brought a tide of grief that left me stagnant for a while. Yet, seeing symbols of my father such as feathers, represented by a cherished feather ring, has helped me process these emotions. Creativity has become a balm for my soul. With the aid of AI, I overcame writer's block, organizing my notes into coherent themes that revived my writing spirit.

Inspired by instructional materials and an invigorated creative process, I've made significant progress on my novel—a project long in the making. The story, a fictional tale of pirates taking over a radio station, stands out from typical narratives about radio. It’s been an exciting, albeit long, labor of love since my heart troubles years ago.

Finding Peace in Solitude

At a ranch in Arizona, surrounded by tranquil beauty, I’ve settled into a month-and-a-half stay with flexibility in my plans. While enjoying occasional events and visits, I also crave solitude and the views that come with travel. The freedom of tiny living enables me to embark on adventures as I please.

Despite ongoing grief, the realization that my fears were baseless during my transition to tiny living has been liberating. The comfort of four walls and a safe space to call my own allowed me to embrace new experiences without the weight of fear.

Looking Forward

My life has taken on a new form—a slower pace, dictated by introspection and creative exploration. As I plan to travel through several states, from New Mexico to Idaho, I remain close enough to support my family if needed, yet far enough to savor my independence.

The journey hasn't been easy, but I continue to draw strength from my grief counseling skills and the younger self who aspired to be a novelist. The compassion I’ve shown myself has been key to moving past life's hurdles.

This transformation—shaking my life like a snow globe only to watch the pieces fall in new patterns—has been profound. It’s a testament to the ability to redefine oneself, even at 60, and continue the adventures of Kelly and Kismet. Updates will follow as my story evolves, one word at a time.

A week ago, in the quiet solitude of an early morning, I had a revelation. It was around 2:30 AM, a time I often find myself in the throes of grief and unable to sleep. This morning, as I sat with my coffee in a boondocking spot in Quartzsite, ideas started pouring in—like a download from the universe. I've been living the nomad life for a while now, towing my trailer and exploring new places, yet I often struggle with direction. Boondocking has become a cherished part of my journey, but the question of purpose lingers: What is the point of all this travel?

Keeping Radio Roots Alive

Reflecting on my past, I realized what I miss the most about my previous work isn't the regulation and compliance, but the vibrant spirit of the radio stations and the people who make them tick. Visiting stations with my dad, sharing stories about community impact, those were the moments that fueled me. This, I realized, is something I want to rediscover and keep alive while continuing my journey.

A Campfire Spark

Recently, after a day full of therapy sessions, I was invited to a campfire by some friendly neighbors. It was there, amidst discussions of business decisions and warmed by the flames, that I shared my unexpected background in radio. The dialogue sparked a desire in me—a potential new adventure emerged from the ashes of past experiences.

Apple A Day: A Path Forward

I’ve long had my “Apple A Day” project, a series of 60-second audio features focusing on wisdom and personal growth. Though currently not profitable, it reaches thousands, potentially over half a million listeners, on small-market radio stations. This has given me an idea: why not embark on a journey to visit these stations, see the people who air my work, and offer my experience and energy to help them thrive?

Planning the Journey

The concept feels both daunting and exhilarating. Could I pull it off by myself? The logistics are challenging, but I've done similar trips before alongside my dad. With a blend of optimism and practicality, I ponder how I could see this through. The idea isn't to charge these stations upfront, but possibly to have them cover travel costs, offering my insights and support as a gesture of goodwill and collaboration.

Preparing for Departure

Before setting out, there are practical matters to address. My trailer needs some TLC, and I want to ensure my trusty truck is road-ready. Routine checks and repairs are underway. Meanwhile, I'm also arranging to visit family—my mother, my son, and my granddaughters—ensuring these personal connections are maintained as I plan my route.

A Journey with Purpose

This venture promises not only personal growth and connection but also the opportunity to inject positive energy into small-market stations. I envision it as more than a business trip—it's a chance to give back to the radio community that played such a pivotal role in my life. My approach is straightforward: genuine engagement and practical support, without the pressure of a hard sell.

Future Adventures

The road ahead holds promise and uncertainty. Whether this idea takes off or morphs into something new remains to be seen. Nevertheless, it brings a renewed sense of purpose to my travels and a chance to rekindle my love for radio. I look forward to sharing more on this adventure as it unfolds, keeping both my father’s legacy and my passion for radio alive on the road.

Stay tuned for more updates on the evolving journey of Kelly and Kismet!

Seeking Balance and Self-Compassion

As I slowly opened up to new experiences, I recognized my own resistance to integrating with the group, reminding myself of the grief I was still processing. Just days earlier, I had left my family behind after New Year’s, which compounded the emotions I was already dealing with. Being the only single person amidst couples forced me to adjust to different dynamics, highlighting both humorous and reflective moments during our time together.

One particular instance was a humorous but slightly uncomfortable moment when I realized I wasn't used to being poked fun at. Reflecting on my solo journey, I remarked on the silver lining of traveling alone—making mistakes in private. The supportive atmosphere reassured me, even when self-doubt crept in.

Xscapers Bash: Support and Reflection

Returning to the Xscapers Bash was significant for me. Volunteering to pour beer was not only enjoyable but also a means to engage socially at my own pace. As the event progressed, camping next to a noisy generator prompted feelings of impatience, yet the community vibe and live music made it worthwhile. My participation in an AI seminar sparked fresh ideas for my writing, reigniting my creativity that had been dormant during this period of grief.

The bash coincided with the five-month mark of my father's passing, deepening my introspection. Despite a persistent feeling of being stuck in the mud, I took solace in understanding that such overwhelming emotions were part of the healing journey. Ultimately, I opted to leave a day early to avoid traveling in the rain and because, quite frankly, the lively celebrations towards the end weren't resonating with me.

Returning to Simplicity in Quartzsite

Returning to Quartzsite brought a different kind of solace—this time with less social pressure and more self-reflection. Spending time with long-time friends Bill and Darla, who share a deep connection through our daughters' friendship, felt comforting. I also planned to have some necessary repairs done on my trailer, allowing me to look forward to a meaningful engagement at a familiar (though energetically challenging) campground.

Rediscovering Creativity Amid Healing

Amidst the chaos and settling into a slower pace, I recognized the need for deliberate healing while rediscovering my creative ambitions. Reflecting on how grief had stalled certain projects like "Dead Air" and "Radio and Records Café," I was both amused and concerned at my forgetfulness. With a newfound understanding of AI as a creative tool, I began exploring different themes and narratives that had resurfaced.

It was during a pre-dawn epiphany, a God-sent or grief-driven wake-up call, that I reviewed my progress in my projects. This reflection allowed me to reconnect with the work I’d done on "Red Car Dreams" and fueled a sense of readiness to move forward.

Looking Ahead

As I continue to navigate the uncharted waters of grief and creativity, I’ve realized the importance of appreciating the journey itself, not just the destination. So here I am, in Quartzsite, fostering connections, balancing solitude and community, all while keeping an open eye to where the next leg of my journey might lead Kelly and Kismet.

I've spent the last two weeks in Temecula, taking a deep dive into my video logs from the past year. This compulsive review stems from a need to break through a persistent writer's block. Although intended as a temporary retreat, the holidays extended my stay, as it was the first season without my dad. I've tried to manage my time wisely between family visits and therapeutic work, balancing grief with intention.

Understanding My Grief

Grief manifests differently at every stage of life. Unlike my younger days, it doesn't involve open displays of sadness or reaching out to friends for comfort. Instead, I find solace in small tasks—walking the dog, doing laundry, or simply being present with my grandchildren. Writing, a once therapeutic outlet, now feels daunting, a task I've avoided for months.

Seeking New Connections

While socializing in Temecula hasn't appealed to me, the new year compels me to seek fresh perspectives and connections elsewhere. I yearn for interactions with people unfamiliar with my past, offering an opportunity for laughter and companionship without the burden of explanations.

Adventures Await

As I look towards the year ahead, travel plans shape my vision. I aim to journey eastward, exploring New Mexico, Colorado, and perhaps further north once summer arrives. This time, I yearn for moments of shared exploration instead of solitary reflection, longing for the camaraderie of like-minded adventurers.

Healing and Creativity

Despite setbacks, I remain determined to resume projects like "Dead Air" and a new endeavor, "The Radio and Records Cafe." Inspired by a fellow writer, I’ve turned to resources like "Save the Cat" to reignite my creative flame. I recognize that grief not only stalls creativity but also deepens self-awareness, guiding me toward purpose-driven art.

The Word of the Year: Adventure

Reflecting on the year's lessons, I've chosen "Adventure" as my guiding word for 2024. It's an unexpected choice that arrived organically, embodying both potential joys and challenges. Unlike past words like "Abundance," which taught me more about life than material wealth, "Adventure" suggests a journey—possibly inward, possibly outward—but certainly transformative.

Simple Joys and New Beginnings

Embracing simplicity has brought clarity to my grief. Whether watching Yellowstone or making silly Instagram videos with my dog, these moments underpin a more significant transition. My future remains unwritten, open to ventures that blend learning with healing, socializing with introspection.

With my dog, Kismet, by my side, we face the road ahead—each day a step towards healing, each experience a note in our life's symphony. Grief may linger, but so does the promise of adventure, reminding me that life's path is mine to explore, one simple task at a time.

The Rocky Start

I've been back in Arizona for about a month and a half. My journey here was marked with physical challenges—a cold, a fall from a horse, and a sore elbow. Despite those setbacks, I pressed forward, excited about exploring Usury Mountain and its surroundings.

However, things didn't go as planned. My intended stay at Bulldog Canyon hit a roadblock when I found it closed. This was a huge disappointment after the sickness and accidents I'd already endured. But life had plans for me to redirect my path to a new location, Peralta, near Gold Canyon.

New Beginnings and Unexpected Events

Upon my Friday arrival at Peralta, everything seemed fine. The scenic beauty and adequate cell signal provided some comfort. The spot wasn't exactly what I envisioned, but it would do. Kismet enjoyed the freedom of a 60-foot roam on his tether, and Saturday was indeed a day to relish.

But come evening, chaos struck in the form of what I like to call "zoomies." Kismet managed to wrap the cable around my ankles, deeply slicing both. Despite the discomfort and pain, my focus shifted as more challenges appeared—my trailer's refrigerator stopped working.

Navigating Through Challenges

Expecting the worst case, I called for help, thinking I might need a new refrigerator. After a whirlwind of inquiries and a three-hour round trip to purchase new batteries, it turned out to be a manageable issue: corroded batteries needing a cleanup and some distilled water.

Life lessons abound from these experiences. My ankles were still healing, and this presented a real challenge in terms of mobility and moving the trailer. I pondered on whether my missteps were of my own doing, inviting negative energy, or simply coincidences that forced me to rethink my life's direction.

A Moment of Reflection

During this time, I was also recovering from personal grief, my father's passing a few months ago. This journey has led to introspection, pondering whether the universe wants me to simply pause, heal, and find some self-love amidst my struggles.

The ranch where I found some respite even offered a healing experience—a session with sound bowls, which brought comfort and improved what had been restless nights.

Seeking Balance and Continuation

At this point, I'm trying to figure out the balance between pursuing my goals, like my novel "Dead Air," and allowing myself time to heal emotionally and physically. There’s a persistent question in my mind: Should I push through or should I let these experiences shape a new course for my journeys?

With all these setbacks, I've made a choice to bow out of a planned cattle drive, considering instead a wine and fine art festival. It's disheartening but prudent, given my current state.

Looking Forward

Despite the challenges, I find solace in the connections made during this journey. My friend Lanae and I have bonded over chores, groceries, and even a few volleyball games. So while my month and a half here hasn't been the greatest, I'm trying to maintain a positive attitude.

In conclusion, life continues to teach me resilience in unexpected ways, forcing me to adapt and occasionally just go with the flow. I remain optimistic that the negatives are merely temporary—there’s still so much beauty in the sunrise and sunset I witness every day.

My journey with Kismet is far from over, and while bumps in the road are inevitable, they are just part of the adventure. Here's to embracing the unexpected and pushing forward with a smile.

The adventure of Kelly and Kismet continues. Over and out.

An Unexpected Week

This past week has been a whirlwind of emotions and challenges. It started with a common head cold that drained my energy, leaving me fatigued and congested. Feeling low physically often has a way of affecting our mental state, making everything seem a bit heavier.

Then came an unplanned tumble—a fall from a horse during what was supposed to be a leisurely ride with friends. The fall left me bruised and nursing wounded pride, forcing me to reconsider the physical activities I engage in at this stage of life.

The experience prompted me to reflect on resilience. While the old saying goes, "get back on the horse," at 60 years old, I am choosing to reconsider such advice. It’s not about fear but about understanding my physical limits in conjunction with my life responsibilities.

The Complexity of Grief

Spending quiet moments alone in my trailer, I’ve had my fair share of what I term 'grief episodes.' The passing of my father has been a profound loss, leaving me with a heavy heart and a wave of emotions that are unpredictable at best. Simple tasks, like peeling an orange, can suddenly transport me back to memories with him, unleashing a flood of tears.

Grief is an unpredictable companion; it strikes when least expected, serving as a reminder that healing is not linear. Our environment—the solitude of a trailer, the stillness of a sunrise—often mirrors our internal state. These moments of solitude allow for introspection and prayer, grounding me in spirituality as I navigate this new chapter without my father’s physical presence.

Healing Through Intuition and Spiritual Practice

My journey through grief has steered me towards deeper spiritual practices that blend my intuitive nature with the healing touch of nature itself. While some view elements like crystals with skepticism, I recognize them as tools created by the earth itself. These tools don’t replace my faith but rather act as companions, providing energy and balance to my life.

Being intuitive, I often 'just know' things, a trait that has both guided and confounded me throughout my life. As I continue this journey, I’m called to trust in God’s creation—both the visible and invisible energies around us.

Embracing the Journey Ahead

Life’s journey isn’t always about the destination. There’s a beauty in the uncertainty. My plans to explore new terrains like Colorado and New Mexico have been postponed by grief, leaving me to unwind and reconsider my path. But this season of change is shaping me, teaching me to embrace uncertainty and to live fully in the present.

Despite the discomfort and unpredictability, I find solace in familiar rituals: witnessing stunning sunsets, nurturing my body and soul, and journaling candidly through experiences.

The Love in Grief

At the heart of grief lies love. Love for my father, my family, and the life I continue to build. Each wave of sorrow mirrors the depth of love I’ve carried, and while these waves may crash harshly against me, they also remind me that I am alive, feeling, and loving.

So, I aim not to rush through this process. Time isn’t of the essence; instead, it’s about patience and presence. My soul chose this journey, and while my human ego battles the discomfort, alignment between the two is my ultimate goal.

The Unfolding Adventure

My story, alongside my companion Kismet, is still unfolding. While the chapters remain unwritten, and the direction uncertain, they hold promise and lessons that I look forward to exploring with every sunrise and set.

In conclusion, let’s traverse this landscape of grief together—not in haste, but with grace and acceptance, embracing each moment, each challenge, and each precious memory along the way.

The Summer That Called Me Back

This past summer, I returned to California, intending to solidify family ties and settle pending business matters. Little did I know that my father’s passing would become a central focus during my stay. Originally, the plan was to bask by the coast and close the office at Michelle’s place to save on overheads. However, life had alternate designs for me. My summer of sun and surf transformed into a period of introspection and proximity to family, as my father’s health quickly declined.

An Unexpected Goodbye

My father was 85, nearing his 86th birthday when his time came. Up until his last days, my uncle, aunt, and other family members gathered to celebrate the occasions that mattered. Our journey together was bittersweet, culminating in one last profound interaction where I witnessed the frailty of his condition—his struggle with his walker, the quiet corners where his thoughts retreated, and finally, the acknowledgment that this goodbye would be real and eternal.

Planning the memorial service became a labor of love, my most significant public farewell. Sharing my father’s legacy through a eulogy felt like an extension of the lessons he imparted, lessons that continue to shape my life and future endeavors.

Charting a New Course

Returning to Mesa, Arizona, in my travel trailer has marked the onset of Chapter Two of my life story—a year concluded, reflecting on both the vibrant and somber moments interspersed within it. Kismet, my loyal companion, and I find ourselves retracing old paths and setting the stage for what lies ahead. Within this chapter lies the resolve to honor my father's memory through my writing—specifically, working steadfastly on a novel inspired by the countless conversations we shared while tending to our FCC compliance duties.

Through this literary labor, I channel the grief, wisdom, and guidance my father bequeathed to me. It provides solace during this tender time, purpose in what was once a partnership of mutual inspiration.

New Horizons and Healing

Healing is very much part of this narrative, with music festivals, museums, culinary adventures, and spiritual practices like sound healing and Reiki becoming essential to my self-care regimen. Distancing myself from immediate family commitments allows for deeper solitude and reflection, providing the necessary canvas for true emotional processing. Though my heart aches, these engagements offer grace and grounding.

The Road Ahead

Adventures with my son encourage me to lean into moments of joy. Despite the solemn undertones, there remains joy and gratitude for the supportive relationships I have—my son’s unwavering presence through our recent trials and his assurance that it’s time to pursue my path unencumbered by geographical limits. My mother's journey through her own grief continues, but from a necessary distance to preserve the peace between us.

As I navigate this chapter of life, I write with intention, reconciling the past with the present, and mapping out the journey yet to come. The pursuit of passion and purpose pushes me forward, promising revelations that wait beyond the horizon.

Grief accompanies personal histories, yet so too does growth and the renewed invitation to dive deeply into the paths unseen. For now, I embrace this chapter—I’m ready for the healing it coaxes, the stories it inspires, and the chapters that emerge thereafter. Here's to the adventures that await and the memories honored by each step I take.

Until next time, let's see where this journey leads.

Over and out, until we meet again.

A Return Home and Rising Anxiety

Upon arriving in Temecula, a surge of anxiety crept in as I found myself slipping back into "hustle mode." The familiarity of home beckoned me to stay busy, to be productive, to keep moving. This trip was intended to reconnect with my family, check tasks off my list, and maybe pick up an abandoned trailer table for my writing pursuits. Yet, I found the trailer cramped, my dad's health scares troubling, and faced unexpected financial concerns. Despite setbacks, I tried immersing myself in everyday routines, like shopping, only to experience an unfortunate hit-and-run incident, further adding to my stress.

Finding Meaning in a Word

Every year, I choose a singular word to focus on, something that embodies my aspirations for the year. This time it was "abundance." However, maintaining focus on this word has been challenging amidst the whirlwind of life. A recent interaction with a client drew my attention back to this practice. Her chosen word, "patience," inadvertently highlighted the lack thereof in both her life and mine. Similarly, I realized that my life's current abundance might be measured in freedom and love, rather than material wealth.

Navigating the Complexity of Family Dynamics

Coming home has revealed new perspectives about my family dynamics. There were moments of unexpected conflict and a realization that perhaps the closeness I believed we had was more fragile than presumed. While Resolving these feelings is difficult, it has supported my introspection and understanding of my intricate relationships.

Creativity Amidst Chaos

As I revisit my old journals and my past professional life, I’m reminded of the paths I've traversed. With a notebook I humorously dubbed my "Tree of Life" book, I strive to engage more in spiritual practices, yet this has been another struggle. Creativity has also felt stifled, and while I am grateful for the novel writing courses, I sometimes feel I lack the inspiration and confidence needed to complete projects like "Dead Air," my long-term novel project.

Embracing the Journey

As I approach my sixties, it becomes clear that it's time to fully embrace my unique journey. Despite financial snares and the emotional rollercoaster of being in Temecula, this period is a reminder that it's okay not to have all the answers. I am still searching for where I truly belong. While Temecula will always be a part of my past, I am not anchored to it. My soul yearns to wander, to explore, to find new beginnings wherever they may lead me.

Concluding Thoughts

Life's lessons aren't always convenient or easy, but they are invariably needed. As I navigate through financial concerns, family revelations, and personal growth, I remind myself of the greater abundance I seek—an abundance of purpose, peace, and empowerment. Here's to the next chapter of Kelly and Kismet's adventures. Stay tuned for where the road may take us next.

This reflection signifies an ongoing transformative journey, one that highlights the intersections of challenges, realizations, and the persistent pursuit of personal truth.

It's a tranquil morning at Stewart's Point Overlook in Overton, Nevada, a serene corner at the edge of Lake Mead, just a short drive from the bustling streets of Las Vegas. I find myself here, grateful for the beauty that surrounds me, seeking solace away from the chaos of city life.

The Sacrifice for Peace

Though Lake Mead offers breathtaking views and a sense of calm, the desert's harshness brings its own set of challenges. My generator struggles in the oppressive heat, leaving my trailer a stifling hot box during some parts of the day. Managing therapy sessions while coping with the heat isn't easy, but it's a small price for the mental and spiritual respite this place offers.

Finding Home in Transition

I am journeying back to what used to feel like "home" in Temecula. However, I've come to realize that Temecula is no longer my true home. I am in the midst of transitioning and redefining where I belong, which includes letting go of familiar spaces, like my office, to pave the way for new beginnings.

Lessons on Forgiveness and Healing

This journey isn't only about physical relocation but an emotional and spiritual one as well. In this tranquil setting, I've reflected on the intricacies of forgiveness and healing. Genuine forgiveness requires time to grieve and process injuries, contrary to the quick fixes often suggested by others. These insights are not only lessons for me but valuable teachings I share with my clients.

Healing Through Nature and Memories

Surrounded by the whispers of Lake Mead's waters, desert landscapes, and memories from my younger years, I've reconnected with a simpler time in my life. This healing process allows me to revisit past experiences, contextualizing them in my new journey of self-discovery.

Embracing Life's Work and Creativity

This period of solitude has also inspired me creatively. I've resumed work on my 'Tree of Life' book, a melange of spiritual, scientific, and philosophical musings, though admittedly, it's a long-term project with 600 pages to fill. This creative endeavor complements the continued evolution of my life's work and purpose.

Conclusion: The Quest for Belonging

As I prepare to head out of the heat and into a new chapter back in California, I am left pondering where I truly belong. The question of finding my people and my place in the world remains. For now, the adventure continues with my loyal dog, Kismet, by my side, and I embrace the journey with open arms, knowing that the answers will come in their own time. Until then, I wander and wonder.

Traveling is often about exploration, freedom, and the beauty of the great outdoors. However, not every day on the road goes as planned. My recent journey to Moab, Utah, epitomized a "travel day from hell," but it also taught me invaluable lessons about patience, resilience, and the kindness of strangers.

Setting the Scene in Moab

Currently, we're nestled in the serene beauty of Moab, Utah. Our spot is perfect: copper-colored mountains and flat, firm ground with shrubs nearby for our dog, Kismet, to roam. The scenery is breathtaking, and it's the best place I’ve encountered on this journey.

As I sipped my morning coffee amidst the grazing cows on this gorgeous BLM land, it was hard to believe the chaos of the previous travel day. The sun was shining, the solar panels were energized, and it seemed the perfect locale for an update.

A Day of Roadblocks

My travel day began with enthusiasm in Page, Arizona, intending to camp at Mexican Hat, Utah. After spending two weeks recuperating, I planned a short three-hour drive, considering it more manageable for Kismet and me. Simplicity was my lifestyle goal, yet simplicity was far from what unfolded.

Upon reaching Mexican Hat, I encountered the first hurdle: a steep, rocky hill impassable for my non-four-wheel-drive truck and trailer. After a nerve-racking time maneuvering back to safety, I decided to head to Valley of the Gods, but the dusty environs drove me to press on toward Moab.

Navigating through desolate roads and difficult terrains became the theme of the day. After several unsuccessful camping attempts, marked by impossible U-turns on narrow passages, I began to feel the weight of the day's growing complexity.

The Kindness of Strangers

As dusk loomed and exhaustion set in, I tried accessing a new site on a hill. My truck was stuck again—this time on loose sand. Just as desperation began to creep in, fellow travelers appeared, offering their assistance. Gratefully accepting their help, we safely maneuvered the trailer down, thanks to their guidance and goodwill.

Finding Serenity

With no viable options left for the night, I turned to a familiar escape—a local RV park. Sure, it was a tad pricey, but at this point, rest was non-negotiable. I spent the night there, relieved, and awoke the next morning with renewed determination.

Eventually, I found our new haven along Willow Springs Road: a peaceful, albeit bustling, location filled with off-road enthusiasts. Though crowded, it sufficed as a temporary settle until solace was found at a quieter spot, courtesy of reliable friends and their tips about nearby coordinates.

Here, I'm granted tranquility amidst green pastures dotted with cows, perfect for Kismet's playful antics, making it a fitting refuge for the next two weeks.

Reflections and Gratitude

This adventurous, albeit harrowing day reminded me of the unpredictability of boondocking and life itself. I found myself grateful for the unexpected assistance, the lessons learned, and the strength discovered. Despite it being a "day from hell," it became a testament to patience, faith, and trust—even in adversity.

Travel offers unyielding stories and lessons, with smooth and rough roads alike contributing to life's greater journey. And today, surrounded by pastoral quiet and the joy of simplicity, I am thankful for the path that brought us here.

Conclusion

While challenging days are inevitable, it's the prevailing moments of grace and unexpected beauty that define the journey. Our little spot in Moab stands as an ode to simplicity and the joy of overcoming, knowing that with each adventure, we grow wiser and stronger.

Stay tuned for our next adventure, and may your journeys be filled with resiliency and blessings.

Four weeks into my UCLA extension writing course, I find myself deeply immersed in the journey of writing. My book, Dead Air, which began during a personal crisis in 2008, has seen renewed life thanks to invaluable feedback from the course. What started as notes during a time when work wasn't an option has blossomed into a creative journey driven by passion and supported by a community of writers.

Rediscovering My Creative Path

The writing course has taught me that crafting a story requires more than just ideas; it requires structure and understanding. With the encouragement of friends and insights from my colleague who recommended the course, I'm navigating through constructive criticism and honing my craft.

As I receive feedback on my chapters, I find myself dreaming about the book and waking up with fresh ideas. The process helps shift my focus from the world's negativity to a more faithful perspective, believing that I'm on this path for a reason.

An Escape Into Nature

Living worlds away from the hustle of networking meetings and financial responsibilities, I'm embracing a simpler life. Out in the wilderness, I'm learning that the stillness and isolation can be a refuge rather than a burden. With my dog, Kismet, as my loyal companion, I'm surrounded by nature, where both of us are enjoying new experiences.

A Life of Hustle and Healing

Reflecting on my past, I've realized that my life has always been a hustle. From supporting my children as a single mom to being the backbone for my family, the constant need to provide and care has been relentless. This wilderness journey is my escape from that life—a chance to heal from the burnout that came from years of constant effort.

Through introspection and recognizing the need for change, I've acknowledged the importance of pursuing what I've always wanted—writing. It may remain a hobby, but it's one that fulfills a long-held dream.

Finding Support and Inspiration

This newfound journey has introduced me to remarkable people, like my new therapy client who is also a writer. Sharing resources and stories, she has opened up a world of creativity and support. I'm grateful for the path God has placed me on, as each step brings me closer to a fulfilling new chapter.

Embracing Writing as a Way of Life

Writing, for me, has always been an innate desire. Whether it's poems or stories conceived from people-watching, I'm learning to embrace the writer within. By making time to explore my creativity, I'm developing characters and crafting narratives that resonate with my journey.

Conclusion

Nestled in a serene corner of nature, off Copper Mountain Road on BLM Land 144, I continue my adventure with Kismet. Although the freeway is nearby, the tranquility here is profound, offering a safe haven with room to breathe and create.

This is my story—an ongoing adventure of writing, healing, and embracing a life of simplicity. As I continue down this path, I welcome the lessons and growth it brings, always grateful for the freedom to chase my dreams. The adventures of Kelly and Kismet are just beginning, and there’s no telling where this journey will lead.

And so, with gratitude and hope, I sign off: over and out!

The road trip has taken Kismet and me to places of nature and introspection, allowing us to reflect on life, purpose, and simple pleasures. Our latest adventure brings us to a remote area north of Page, Arizona, where we find ourselves dancing on the border between two states—Arizona and Utah.

Finding Sanctuary Near Lake Powell:

It's challenging to determine if our cozy campsite made it into the video, but the picture taken captures the beauty of where we are. Nestled near Lake Powell, we embark on our third day here. The area is stunning, and every moment deepens my appreciation for the landscape's simplicity. The solitude offers clarity and tranquility that nourishes the soul.

Kismet's Adventures and Lessons in Patience:

Yesterday was therapy day for both Kismet and me—he excelled at fetch, while I struggled to manage his vivacity. Keeping him disciplined is challenging, especially considering the weather's influence. With his size, getting a handle on him is tough, which played out in an unexpected episode.

While preparing for a therapy session, I had Kismet on a cable attached to the truck. However, he took off on an impromptu escapade just minutes before my client call, causing a whirlwind chase. Thankfully, as Kismet dashed around with his new four-legged friend at a neighbor's campsite, a kind stranger helped me rein him back in. Despite this break in routine, my promise to Kismet remains: adventure in the mornings when our duties permit.

Navigating the Journeys:

These wandering days are not without their challenges. Just because a spot looks appealing doesn’t mean the setup will be seamless. Discovering this firsthand with the complexities of trailer hitching, I've relied on patience and a bit of divine intervention. Despite the exhaustion from travel and setup, the beauty of the postcard-worthy drives reminds me why this lifestyle is worth it.

The day’s logistics often include errands like laundry and grocery shopping, reflecting the simplicity and reality of mobile living. Despite the hustle, there are moments—while sweeping out the trailer after a cleaning or experiencing the serenity of this new location—that renew a sense of calm and cleanliness.

Charting Spiritual and Creative Paths:

Spiritual reflections accompany these journeys. Finding small tokens like pennies or nickels along the way become reminders of loved ones and guiding spirits, as emphasized in my daily prayers for safe travels. Such symbols mark the journey physically and spiritually.

Meanwhile, my UCLA novel writing course is refreshing my creative spirit. It’s exciting to reignite my passion for writing, filling the void left by retiring past journals. Diving into a sequel feels like saying goodbye to what was and embracing what can be. This creative endeavor becomes my launching pad, cultivating new stories while letting past burdens go.

I cherish the newfound excitement in learning and writing, tackling novel structures, and constructing characters. This course, recommended by my friend Libby, allows me to engage with a supportive community. Even amid the debates around my book's potential, the learning journey itself breathes life into my day-to-day.

Settling into an Uncertain Future:

Conversations with my therapist reveal I can go unspoken for weeks beyond my sessions. There is a unique comfort in solitude, a feeling that might change over time, suggesting someday I might seek more interaction and a temporary pause from nomadic life.

However, plans linger for a summer staycation within nature's embrace, much needed to avoid constant motion. Until then, Kismet and I continue our daily rituals, nurturing the connection with each step into the wilderness.

Conclusion:

As I write from the top of a dusty road, the horizon mirrors this reflection in new beginnings and adventures. The journey, with all its trials and triumphs, speaks to the peace found on the open road and the inspiration gleaned from each destination. Keep following our adventures—Kelly and Kismet’s travels continue to unfold, one mile at a time. Over and out.

Hello, fellow adventurers! It's been almost two weeks here at Marble Canyon, and I'm eager to share some reflections and updates from my travels with Kismet, my trusty canine companion.

The Challenges of Boondocking Life

The weather here has been beautiful, but it's not without its challenges. The high winds and pervasive dirt are a constant battle. It's a struggle to keep my trailer clean, let alone Kismet, who needs frequent wiping down after every outing. But that's the reality of boondocking—adapting to the untamed environment while cherishing the serenity it offers.

Reflecting on the Journey and Spiritual Growth

Recently, I completed a significant project that involved delving deep into my past through journaling. It was a profound and necessary process, allowing me to let go and embrace new opportunities. This has been a time of spiritual growth as well. I'm following a plan to read the Bible in a year and diving into other enriching audiobooks that enhance my understanding of the spiritual and the mystical realms.

Freedom and Novel Writing

With this newfound freedom, I'm delving into novel writing, a passion long dormant. Thanks to a course at UCLA, I'm honing my craft, exploring character development, and immersing myself in storytelling. It's exhilarating to finally bring stories from my imagination to life, guided by feedback from peers and mentors.

Navigating Future Adventures

Thinking ahead, I've started mapping out future destinations. While I cherish the freedom of boondocking, I'm considering a stationary location for the summer to catch up with family and take care of essential trailer maintenance. The idea of settling into a routine for a few months is appealing, providing an opportunity for professional growth while staying connected with loved ones.

Balancing Passion and Professional Life

While novel writing captivates my heart, maintaining my psychotherapy practice remains a priority. Finding the balance between these endeavors allows me to thrive in this unique lifestyle. My aim is to minimize distractions and maximize fulfillment from my art and profession alike.

Lessons Learned and Future Aspirations

My journey is not just about the places I visit but the personal growth and lessons learned along the way. My time on the road has taught me resilience, adaptability, and the joy of simple pleasures. Each day brings a new discovery, often sparked by the breathtaking landscapes I wake up to.

I'm finding my path, not just writing a sequel to my life's story, but embracing it with open arms. The adventures of Kelly and Kismet continue, filled with paths yet unraveled, lessons yet learned, and freedom yet savored.

Conclusion: Carrying Onward

As I sit in awe of the sunrise and sunset each day, I feel grateful for this journey and the experiences it brings. While I don’t claim to have all the answers or absolute clarity about my destination, I am at peace with the journey itself. Here's to the road ahead, as unpredictable as it may be, and the countless adventures waiting to unfold.

Over and out, from Kelly and Kismet.

Easter Sunday brought a mix of emotions as I found myself in a little corner of the Grand Canyon, grappling with both physical discomfort and a journey of self-discovery. Despite the congestion from what might be a cold or allergies, the beauty of the day was undeniable. This Easter, instead of being with my family, I chose to embark on a path towards healing and personal growth.

Battling the Elements

As I sat with the sunlight illuminating my chin, I couldn't help but reflect on the challenges this holiday presented. My eyes, red and watery like pink eye, only added to my discomfort. A quick trip for medication before the Easter train ride offered some relief, but the strain remained. Despite these challenges, the Grand Canyon's grandeur invited me in, as did memories from visits past. It's a place I've frequented several times, with each visit tapping into different moments of my life.

A Journey in Reflection

This visit, though, was different—it was not merely a vacation but an integral part of my journey. Staying at a nearby RV park with Kismet, my travel companion, it was a deliberate choice during my healing journey. Easter, my favorite holiday, always reminded me of springtime renewal. It felt fitting to be here, even if separated from loved ones, working on my emotional and spiritual development.

Adventures and Aspirations

Amidst the sights and sounds of this national treasure, thoughts of the future danced in my mind. I signed up for a writing course at UCLA in hopes of finally penning the novel I was destined to write. It's a step towards living the life I've envisioned, one unburdened by societal expectations or the fear of solitude. This course signifies a new chapter and a pursuit of creative aspirations once cast aside for practicality.

A New Perspective on Relationships

The choice to release preconceived notions about my relationships, particularly with my children, is liberating yet daunting. The realization that they had become idols in my life was a tough lesson—one God needed me to learn. Stripped of these dependencies, I'm discovering the strength to face fears of being alone and the courage to pursue genuine joy.

Moving Forward with Purpose

Leaving behind the expectations of others, I'm relieved and excited to find my unique path. Having spent years supporting family careers out of convenience, the shift toward something new, like novel-writing, feels refreshing and purposeful. Therapy, a chosen passion, still holds value, yet the joy of creation beckons me now.

Conclusion

This Easter marks a pivotal moment in my life—a moment to savor the solitude, the beauty, and the beginnings of thrilling new adventures. While Kismet makes friends at his pet resort, I embrace this adventure and the promise of new challenges ahead. Standing at the precipice of personal growth, much like the vastness of the canyon before me, I look forward to what awaits on the horizon.

Happy Easter from the Grand Canyon—over and out!

As I don my new jacket and shirt, overlooking the iconic Cathedral Rock, I can't help but reminisce on the journey that brought me here. It's a milestone day, marking exactly six months since I began this adventurous chapter. Having completed my journal review, I've let go of living in the past. Currently, I'm enjoying the tranquility of boondocking on a nondescript forestry road south of Sedona. It's an escape away from the hustle, where Kismet, my trusty canine companion, and I have nestled for two peaceful nights.

Boondocking Bliss with Kismet

Boondocking here has been a serene experience, allowing Kismet the freedom to explore at dawn while I savor my morning coffee. This remote lifestyle appeals to me—the silence, the beauty. Arriving on a Monday intentionally ensured we found a quiet spot, though it's clear that the allure of boondocking has caught on. With familiar surroundings and plans for future ventures, I feel grounded here for now, even as I prepare for the next big stop: the Grand Canyon over Easter weekend.

Navigating the Crowd at Cathedral Rock

Our visit to Cathedral Rock was to hit a popular spot, yet a bustling morning crowd turned our intended hike into a more relaxed outing. With Kismet's contagious enthusiasm leading the way and his weighty enthusiasm threatening to topple me on the rocky paths, we opted for an easier trail. The views remain breathtaking, even without a climb to the peak. It's a reminder that some targets can be saved for another day when circumstances better align.

Personal Growth and Cutting Comforts

Reflecting on my journey, I recognize that travel isn't just about exploring new places—it's about making personal discoveries too. While I've enjoyed the comforting indulgence of evening treats lately, I've been consciously shifting toward healthier habits. Letting go of my peanut butter and chocolate vices has been challenging, but necessary for my wellbeing. Instead, yogurt and apples with peanut butter have become my new essentials.

The Sound of Silence and Spiritual Contemplation

By the creek today, I sought solace and spiritual clarity, an opportunity to read and pray. Despite Kismet's persistent mischief with a heap of dirt and rocks, moments of reflection were savored. It's about listening, not just imagining. The past weeks have been a reset, gathering sparks of inspiration from old friendships and professional contacts who see potential in paths like radio sales, although my heart leans towards writing.

Facing Fears and Embracing Destiny

Through these transformative experiences, I've confronted longstanding fears of solitude. While I initially feared being alone, the reality has shown me that I'm far from it; God's presence and Kismet's companionship are ample company. Confronting fears has been liberating, proving that my greatest dread wasn't such a monster after all. Instead, I find myself thriving, eager for the adventures ahead and ready to dive into writing projects that call to my soul.

Looking Toward the Future

As the adventures of Kelly and Kismet continue, I am filled with hope and gratitude for this journey. Each step on this path brings a newfound sense of fulfillment and purpose. Ahead lies the Grand Canyon and, who knows, perhaps even a new writing endeavor. But for now, I'm content in the present, cherishing every quiet, beautiful moment of these past six months.

It's 6:30 in the morning, and I've decided to lower the lights for a softer ambiance. Today, I wanted to update everyone about my recent experiences since my last video from Bulldog Canyon. I had to take a detour in my plans because my dad was hospitalized four times in six weeks. As a result, I packed up my camp, hitched my trailer, and headed back to Temecula, California, to take care of him.

Dad is home with Mom now, but we've had to arrange hospice care for him. While he's not on death's door, he does need more medical assistance than Mom can provide. She's his wife, not a caregiver. This experience has been challenging, to say the least. I'm overwhelmed with emotions, knowing my dad's time may be limited due to his health issues like Parkinson's and other concerns.

A Difficult Journey

The drive back was long and excruciating. As soon as I arrived, I arranged to park my trailer at a construction site in a beautiful, quiet wine country neighborhood. While it wasn’t ideal, it sufficed as I took care of Dad.

Unfortunately, stress caught up with me, and I came down with a cold. While my therapist attributes this to stress, I was grateful for my dog, Kismet, who was incredibly patient through it all. After a week in Temecula, I returned to my RV park in Mesa, where I had previously made non-refundable arrangements.

Adjustments and Realizations

The campground in Mesa isn't fancy, but it suits my current needs. It’s not the peaceful boondocking experience I love, but it's clean and quiet. While reflecting on my journey, I'm reminded of the importance of this road trip for my personal healing.

Reviewing my journals has been eye-opening, taking me back to when COVID began and my first trip to Sedona, a profoundly healing experience. When my parents had moved in with me during the early COVID days, it became clear how fragile they had become. This was a moment of realization and responsibility I felt towards them, especially after losing my brother, Brad.

Taking on New Responsibilities

My son was eager to help take care of his grandparents. While sorting through my parents’ belongings in their deteriorating mobile home, I realized the extent of the challenges ahead. Despite my training as a therapist, dealing with family dynamics like narcissistic abuse and codependency was overwhelming.

Placing my parents in assisted living was a tough choice but necessary for their well-being and my sanity. They now have meals, activities, and a community that provides more than I could at home. This decision was partly why I chose to buy the trailer.

A New Chapter

With my new trailer, I've embraced a different lifestyle, one that I had contemplated for years. This journey is about more than just traveling; it's about self-discovery and healing. I still have my private practice and occasionally do heart math techniques, providing me with some financial stability while allowing me the flexibility to travel and focus on myself.

I anticipate visiting the national parks in Utah and Colorado and returning to Sedona, a place that holds significant personal value. Although I'm alone in this journey, I'm observing to see if any family steps up to help with my parents. My role has often been the primary caretaker, and the solitude has been both painful and enlightening.

Reflections and Moving Forward

This emotional journey has been intense and laden with insights into my past and the dynamics within my family. Processing these experiences has been challenging, but it's crucial for my healing. My reviews of old journals are almost complete, allowing me to focus on new projects and endeavors.

As I continue this journey, Kismet remains my steadfast companion. I’m reminded that healing has no timeframe, and as I learn and grow, there is more to come. For now, my priorities include walking my dog and continuing the exploration of this road to recovery.

Thank you for following along with the adventures of Kismet and Kelly. Stay tuned for more updates.

A Sudden Shift in Routine

It was just a few days ago, nestled in the serene wilderness of Bulldog Canyon, where Kismet, my faithful companion, and I roamed with an unshakeable sense of peace and spirituality. However, everything shifted abruptly. My father has had to visit the hospital again for the fourth time in six weeks due to various medical crises, from anemia to debilitating swelling.

Being the power of attorney for my dad’s medical and financial matters, I had to pack up and prepare to return to my home base in Temecula. Despite being the bearer of significant responsibilities, my trailer is more than just a home; it is a symbol of my flexibility and freedom to pivot.

Crisis Management and RV Repairs

In the midst of frantic phone calls—to my mom, the caregiver, the hospital, and beyond—I found myself immersed in crisis management. Unknowingly to me, the tension in the air had also affected Kismet, resulting in him chewing up my kitchen cabinet while I was engrossed in calls. It struck me how our companions reflect our energies. If only canine repairs could be as simple as casting negative energies away.

Add to that the shattered glass top of my stove days before—an unnerving cleanup experience—and the last week has certainly spared none of its trials. It’s remarkable how challenges amplify our spiritual and personal journeys, yet throughout these challenges, I walk in peace, hand in hand with God.

Navigating Tough Decisions

Currently, my father isn't dying, but the new medical developments demand my attention and action. Balancing between emotions and logic, I grapple with the realities of maintaining my parents' care. My mother’s capability to care for my dad isn’t as robust as imagined. This revelation commands on-the-spot strategic planning—and the invaluable help of non-family members as wise counsel.

Conversations and Reflections

Yesterday was particularly emotional. Conversations with the hospital’s case manager and listening to my dad’s confused words—mentioning my deceased brother, Brad—tugged at my heartstrings, lighting a torch of relentless grief. These dialogues are therapeutic, underlining the disorderly march toward understanding and acceptance.

The Weight of Familiarity

My firsthand experience in hospice work long before this moment has taught me the intricate dance between family dynamics and crisis. Dysfunction often surges in turbulent times, placing undue burden on lone shoulders. As the only daughter absorbing the weight, a healthy balance between familial duty and emotional well-being teeters precariously.

The Journey Ahead

Preparation continues as sunlight slowly breaks, coaxing life into motion. Once I reach my destination, unanswered phone calls and pre-emptive prayers for protection will mark the journey. Despite the daunting task ahead, knowing that there’s grace amidst the storm fuels my resolve.

Every mile ticked off on this journey bears a cocktail of indistinguishable emotions—grief, sadness, and a distinct absence of joy. Yet, the omnipresence of grace nurtures a subtle courage within.

Life's unexpected path is a reminder of the unpredictability and grace embedded within every crisis. With steadfast hope, I soldier on, trusting the divine rhythm to guide each step and decision forward.

In the heart of the sprawling Tonto National Forest lies Bulldog Canyon, a pristine patch of wilderness in Mesa, Arizona, where I've embarked on a journey of self-discovery and spiritual healing. As I write, I've spent five nights completely immersed in the beauty and solitude of nature, living off the grid or rather, boondocking. This experience has been more than just an escape; it's been a very personal foray into understanding myself, my past, and my future with renewed faith.

The Call to Solitude

Living without modern conveniences has taught me to appreciate the quiet moments, like when my dog, Kismet, would insist on a prayer break during our walks. These minutes spent in prayer and reflection have allowed me to sift through my thoughts, especially after leaving Quartzite to find solitude in nature. Over the past five days, the patterns and rhythms of the wilderness have mirrored my own need for internal examination.

Letting Go of the Past

A significant part of my journey here has involved confronting my past. I chose to symbolically release old baggage by burning journals filled with memories of grief over my brother Brad, milestones like the birth of my grandson Finley, and reflections on relationships that didn't turn out as expected. This act of burning these journals served as an end to carrying that emotional weight, and it allowed me to free myself spiritually and materially.

Prayer and Healing

Every morning in Bulldog Canyon starts with prayer. As I walk these trails, nature urges me to speak honestly with God—about my family, my experiences, and myself. It's a comfort to immerse myself in faith, knowing that I am in a period where God wishes me to embrace singleness and focus on my creative projects. This journey isn't solely about being away from others; it's about being present with myself and my faith.

Life’s Wilderness and Forgiveness

Reflecting on Moses' story in the Bible, I am reminded that wilderness often represents both a physical space and a spiritual journey. For me, solitude here is about letting God break and heal me, so I can follow His path. It is an affirmation of faith, to trust in discovering who I am without external dependence, including my children or previous companionship.

Embracing Support and Breaking Boundaries

This time has given me clarity about my relationship with family. Like the Israelites' journey, it's about learning to release people—not out of neglect, but as an act of love, letting them live their lives free of my constraints. I am also learning to carve out a life independent of familial support, a transformation that is both daunting and liberating.

Navigating New Paths

The wilderness, despite its ruggedness, brings a sense of fulfillment and joy. As Kismet and I explore, I am increasingly aware of the necessity to stay physically active. Along with my Fitbit and walking stick—a cherished keepsake from a family trip to the Redwoods—I tackle the natural landscapes, striving for a balance that ensures my well-being today and beyond.

What Lies Ahead

While my journey does not come without challenges—such as learning to balance my career as a therapist with personal health—it holds the promise of uncharted horizons. My time here is finite, yet I approach every sunrise with gratitude, anticipating God’s purpose for me as I navigate the unknown.

Conclusion

The adventures of Kelly and Kismet have only just begun. There's more healing and growth on the horizon. As I combine childlike curiosity with adult introspection, I am committed to experiencing this journey wholeheartedly, guided by nothing but faith.

This is my walk with God in the wilderness—a journey of faith, transformation, and profound self-awareness. More tales will certainly follow, as both Kismet and I embrace the path that unfurls before us in perfect tandem with nature’s own.

Sometimes the most spontaneous actions lead to the greatest adventures. Here I am, sharing a slice of my life from Lake Havasu, Arizona, where I'm attending an annual bash organized by Xscapers, a club tailored for those living and working in RVs. This club connects people across the country, offering bashes and convergences year-round, and I've signed up for the solar area to learn more about solar power systems. It's been amazing since arriving here, just me and my trusty companion, Kismet, my delightful little dog. Everything has a way of falling into place, hence his name.

Meeting New Friends and Learning

One of the most enriching parts of this journey is meeting people from all walks of life. Serendipitously, the first people I met at this bash were from Utah and have extensive knowledge about state parks and off-grid living. It's incredible to engage with individuals who can share insider tips and even GPS coordinates for boondocking spots. This network is invaluable, and it reaffirms that being part of this community was a wise decision.

Addressing Personal Challenges

While I'm on this exciting adventure, I still carry responsibilities back home, particularly as a caregiver for my parents. Recently, I've been managing feelings of guilt and concern over my dad's health. It's a challenging balance—honoring my needs while ensuring my loved ones are cared for. I have learned, though, that I must live my life intentionally and not put it on hold. As my support system continues to reassure me, I'm focusing on writing the next chapter of my life—or rather, the sequel.

Embracing Change and Letting Go

Part of writing my sequel involves physically and metaphorically letting go of the past. During my stop in Yucaipa, California, I conducted a powerful ritual, burning six old journals full of memories and emotions I've carried for too long. This act symbolizes shedding the weight of past mistakes and regrets. Now, I'm ready to embrace new possibilities with an open heart.

Onward to Quartzsite

Our latest update comes from Quartzsite, Arizona, a new stop on this journey. Despite the familiarity of campground life, I'm planning to explore boondocking more confidently. I have twelve more journals to review—a part of my ongoing reflective project. The goal is to travel and reflect, gaining insights that fuel my growth and enrich my journey.

Toward Healing and Self-Discovery

Every day, as I navigate this nomadic life, I peel back more layers of myself, learning and healing as I go. Revisiting old journals has been enlightening, showing me how far I've come and how much I've grown. While emotions from the past occasionally resurface, they no longer hold power over me.

Looking Ahead

As Kismet and I plan our next destinations, Utah's national parks call to us, although we’ll wait for more favorable weather in March. This lifestyle is about seizing the time I have now, when I'm healthy and free. The journey continues to offer opportunities for connection, learning, and enjoyment.

Conclusion: Writing My Sequel

This adventure isn't just about exploring new places. It's about writing the sequel to my life, using lessons learned to shape a future filled with intentionality and joy. Like Kismet's name suggests, perhaps this path was meant to be. The road awaits, and so do the stories I'll write along the way.

Stay tuned for more adventures of Kelly and Kismet as we pave the way through this new beginning.

When I first embarked on this journey of self-discovery, it felt as though my life had amounted to nothing more than wasted time. I found myself questioning, "What have I accomplished? What have I really done?" It was a low point—a moment of introspection that left me feeling adrift. However, I have begun to perceive this period not as a void but as a series of unwritten stories filled with character development and settings for future narratives. In exploring my past, I have unearthed numerous insights about myself, starting the healing process from the traumas intertwined with my childhood and significant events that unfolded thereafter.

The Journal Project: A Powerful Tool for Healing

During this transformative phase, I embarked on a journal project. It can be, and often is, cumbersome—but it serves as an immensely powerful tool. Reviewing your life in such a manner is akin to engaging in psychotherapy on steroids. The process allows me to examine my experiences through the lens of a therapist, as if assessing a young woman grappling with myriad struggles. But don't we all, in our own ways?

I'm not suggesting that I'm presenting myself as a victim. Although there have been instances in the past where I was victimized, I remain determined not to adopt a victim mentality. I have discovered that those times when I was victimized, I failed to allow myself the time to grieve properly. The prevailing advice was often to forgive and forget, to not harbor grudges. However, such recommendations rarely made space for the vital process of grieving—grieving the hurt, the loss, the trauma, and the pain.

Grieving and Growth: Essential Steps Towards Strength

Reflecting on the absence of grieving opportunities, I realize that many decisions I made might have been different if I had allowed myself to process these emotions adequately. This realization has become a cornerstone of my healing journey. Forgiveness is important, certainly, but grieving is equally vital. Grieving offers a chance to process the emotions tied to past experiences, creating room for genuine healing and eventual forgiveness.

Conclusion: Writing Stories of Strength

Now, as I move forward, I view my life’s narrative through a new lens. Each chapter of struggle is not just a painful memory but a testimony of resilience and strength. I am authoring stories of personal growth, healing, and strength. By acknowledging the need to grieve—and by allowing myself to do so—I can use my past as a foundation to write richly layered stories for my future. These stories will not only chronicle my experiences but also stand as narratives of strength that others might draw inspiration from.

In sharing this journey, I hope to illuminate the profound power of introspection and the importance of embracing our struggles as stepping stones on the path to strength.

I hope you’ll continue to follow along, as this exploration led me to finish a novel that has been haunting me for years. I’m experimenting with the videos here on Substack, and posted a clip rather than the full video.

If you want to watch the full episode, you can find it here: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLr69e2K-sb1eCkF6wNjX1dAYdEt-4rPSA&si=oHLE43kboxo5BaNV

It's been quite the adventure on the road in my RV, with Temecula being my recent stop to reconnect with my roots. After nine weeks away, stepping back into my office and seeing family felt both familiar and strange. In a way, I'd been gone forever, yet it seemed like I never left at all. The reunion was bittersweet, leaving me grappling with feelings of nostalgia and pride in the new skills I've acquired.

The Granberry Campouts

Revisiting old traditions, I had the joy of a special camp-out with my granddaughters. Our Granberry sleepovers have transformed into outdoor adventures, where we cooked outside and joined a dance party at the KOA campground. Sharing these moments amidst December’s festive buzz made me appreciate the essence of family even more.

Learning and Adjustments

Living out of an RV has come with lessons and anxieties, especially when managing solar power during cloudy days or figuring out the mechanics of propane tanks solo. Video tutorials have become my go-to resource in this self-guided learning journey, instilling both resilience and a sense of accomplishment.

Professional and Personal Balancing Act

In Temecula, I overbooked myself unintentionally. Balancing client sessions, meeting with my editor, and soaking in in-person interactions revealed my affinity for remote trailer sessions. My mobile lifestyle supports a different work-life balance, allowing me to focus more on personal goals such as my journal project.

Facing Internal Challenges

Reflecting on past experiences, I’m uncovering layers of personal history I've carried for too long. Digging through my journals, I embrace memories without pain, viewing them through a therapeutic lens. This process is about letting go—examining my past to make room for new growth, unbounded by old expectations.

Towards Santa Barbara

As I prepare for my next leg to Santa Barbara, I wrestle with a mix of excitement and anxiety about the unfamiliar journey ahead. Gaining comfort from my faith and self-reliance, I'm learning to trust in the adventure and its lessons.

Revelations and Intentions

Returning to familiar environments like Temecula brought back old anxieties, yet it also presented new insights. I’ve realized how previous surroundings can trigger past patterns, but these reflections remind me of my commitment to growth and healing.

In crafting the final chapters of this personal journey, I embrace the metaphor of literally and figuratively freeing up space—burning old journals and thoughts that no longer serve me. It's a release, a way of moving towards a future unshackled by past burdens.

The Path Forward

As I look forward to the next phase in Santa Barbara, I remain committed to my journaling goals and broader project aspirations. Focused on finishing my life review, I hope to make peace with my history and sustain a life that truly reflects who I am today.

The road is open, and so is my heart and mind to what lies ahead. Join me as my RV journey continues, and I document life’s unending lessons and adventures. Let's see where this path leads next.

It's six o'clock in the morning. I find myself settled on the floor of my trailer, the comforting warmth of a small fire beside me, and my trusty dog, Kismet, curled up in my lap. As I sit here in Mesa, I delve into the pages of an old journal, dated March 2002 to September 2003. This journey through the past offers glimpses into a transformative time in my life, filled with spiritual enlightenment, moments of healing, and newfound strengths that shaped who I am today.

A Career Reinvented

Reflecting on these years, I remember the pivot in my professional journey, where my career as a consultant in FCC compliance and public files for radio and television stations skyrocketed. The respect I gained from broadcasters and peers was a far cry from my earlier role as a salesperson. This newfound appreciation fueled my passion, helping me build a successful business with my father.

The Education of a Lifetime

Alongside my career, I pursued academia fervently, indulging in children's literature, history, and English. My heart was set on earning a bachelor’s degree—an aspiration ignited amidst the chaos of a thriving career and bustling family life.

Navigating Personal Growth

In revisiting these years, I realize how critical missteps and challenges were integral to my growth. My kids, who met their future spouses because of our moves, remind me that every decision, right or wrong, bears a purpose—and should be embraced rather than lamented.

Family, Faith, and the Power of Journaling

My children and the memory of my golden retriever, Angel, fill these journals with love and stories of adversity—like Angel getting lost in the desert, leading to a touching children’s story about faith and love.

Each journal page is a reflection, revealing insights that prayer and faith guide me through life’s intricacies, encouraging peace, patience, and understanding.

Stepping out of Comfort Zones

Traveling across states in my trailer, every day presents new challenges—technical mishaps, campsite shifts, and the art of boondocking. These hurdles teach me resilience, independence, and the importance of community, as fellow travelers steer me through complications with advice and friendship.

Home Is Where You Park It

Though the trailer is my home now, and showers and space may be limited, the freedom it offers is unparalleled. Living minimally, embracing nature, and meeting new friends at each stop enriches my soul in unexpected ways.

Holiday Plans and Personal Promises

As I navigate from Quartzsite to Temecula, onto Santa Barbara, and finally Pismo Beach, this festive season, I revel in the spontaneity of unplanned days and the boundless potential they carry. This journey is uniquely mine—steered by my choices, guided by serendipity, and graced with companionship from my loving pup, Kismet.

Epilogue: Learning to Trust

Every sunrise begets the promise of new landscapes, akin to life’s ever-evolving journey. In trusting God’s guidance and nurturing my inner strength, I continually discover facets of myself, with each journal page like a map, charting my past’s lessons and my future’s prospects.

More reflections and tales from life on the road await, promising insights into this adventure as my story unfolds. Stay tuned and journey with me as I face each day with renewed courage and optimism. See you down the road, for there is more to come.

Sunday mornings at the Camp Verde Zane Gray RV Park are a tranquil routine for me and my dog, Kismet. Our daily walks by the creek have become a cherished ritual, only interrupted by the occasional rain. Besides, no one enjoys a soggy stroll!

My horseback riding lessons have taken me over an hour away from Mesa and Phoenix, but forging a bond with a horse is crucial before our upcoming cattle drive. Learning to ride properly is an art—it’s a dance between the rider and the animal. I’ve discovered the finesse of handling reins; holding on too tightly can confuse the horse and create tension. This experience has been enlightening, realizing my tight grip on the reins was a muscle memory from water skiing. Just as in life, a gentle touch often yields the best results.

Settling In and Finding Routine

Mornings are my time to conquer the day. Waking up as early as 3 or 4 AM, I tackle chores like laundry and troubleshooting the trailer. By 8:30 AM, I’ve often completed a laundry list of tasks, including dog walks and cleaning.

This stint of living in the trailer teaches me about the value of simplifying life and the joy found in small victories—like little Kismet going a week and a half without an accident inside the trailer.

Reflecting on Life's Journey

In my downtime, I've immersed myself in my personal journals, revisiting memories from the holiday season of 2000-2001. These records document not just events but also my evolving understanding of life and spirituality.

Back in Roseville, I was wearing many hats—juggling jobs and responsibilities. My first attempt in radio sales was a learning curve, teaching me valuable lessons about corporate politics. Yet, I've always known I thrive in self-employment and independence.

Spiritual Growth and Personal Reflections

This period also marked a significant spiritual encounter. It was a transformative time, full of healing and revelations. As I sift through these memories, I’m not overwhelmed by emotion but grateful for the wisdom I've gained. Writing down these stories has brought clarity and inspiration, like rediscovering forgotten dialogues and plot ideas nestled among personal ramblings.

Embracing New Chapters

As I comb through past journals, I not only reflect but prepare for future endeavors. My creative venture "Red Car Dreams" has sparked from these reflections, set to be a fictional narrative inspired by recurring dreams and family significance attached to red vehicles.

Knowing that this reflective process is guiding me toward writing, I aim to clear my mental and physical space—literally through the act of purging and burning journals. Creating room for the new while cherishing past lessons is a daunting yet liberating task.

Living for Today

This RV life is more than a physical journey; it’s also an emotional and spiritual adventure. Whether walking by the creek or gearing up for a cattle drive, I embrace each day with gratitude. Every encounter and experience reinforces my purpose, even while navigating life's uncertainties.

As my journey weaves between past musings and future aspirations, I find comfort in knowing that life unfolds at its rhythm. There’s flexibility in my plans, and a chapter of writing is on the horizon. With Kismet beside me, I continue to explore, write, and discover new stories that life offers every day.

Over and out for now—and remember, no matter where life takes you, home is wherever you decide to be.

In the act of letting go, we often find the path to healing. My journey of releasing the past began with a ritualistic and metaphorical process—burning my journals. These journals were my first steps on the path of writing and healing. Fueled by intuition, I set out to transform my old memories into mere ashes, thus making space for new beginnings. It all started while I was in the serene setting of Usury Mountain Park, where the fire pit became my altar.

The First Flames

My ritual commenced with the oldest journal—one that dates back to 1979 when I was just fifteen. Living in San Fernando Valley, my teenage years were filled with adventures. My brother being in a rock band shaped much of my experience, as life revolved around school, crushes, and rock band parties. Attending concerts was our pastime; the music scene was alive with names like Jethro Tull, Yes, Rainbow, Journey, and more. This chapter of life was vivid—free from tragedy or trauma, making it a keeper amidst the burning ritual.

The Evolution of Memory

As I progressed to the subsequent journals of my early years, my family’s move to Victorville surfaced. This transition from a bustling city to a serene desert town marked a pivotal moment. Despite challenges like adjusting to a new school, the theme of my entries remained consistent—boys and crushes. Even as I documented meeting my future ex-husband and continuing friendships, my journals reminded me how fleeting our perceptions can be. They challenged my nostalgia, revealing how time had embellished or faded particular memories.

A Unique Collaboration

Revisiting these memories became more poignant when my friend Lanae and I faced them together. We shared this therapeutic ritual, burning journals up to 1983—a year marked by my brother’s passing. Through tears and laughter, we confronted shared histories, celebrating our growth while acknowledging the pain. In those pages, I saw my transformation—a young woman learning about love, heartbreak, and personal achievement.

The Flames of Transformation

The act of burning became symbolic—a pyre for the person I used to be. It was painful, akin to tearing familiar chapters from the book of my life, yet necessary to embrace growth. Each day saw a part of my old self being released—personal memorabilia, family heirlooms, and cherished memories—even if they were only things like plants.

These were not just objects; they symbolized my existential struggle with change. As a therapist and author, I often impart the mantra: "If you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done." This was my radical change—a testament to my evolution, a sequel of sorts.

The Takeaway: Embrace Change

Recently, I burned my second, third, and part of my fourth journal, pausing as I approached more painful memories. As I extinguished these tangible traces, I realized that some memories, though painful, are meant to be internalized—held in the heart rather than in physical documentation. It dawned on me that not every part of life demands preservation.

By integrating happiness and sorrow into my present identity, I continue to grow, becoming the person I am meant to be. This purge taught me that sometimes, drastic change is necessary to propel us toward the lives we are destined for. And so the journey continues—more revelations await, but for now, I rest in the comfort that I am lighter and more prepared for whatever comes next.

More later.

Introduction: Shedding the Past

I find myself at a unique crossroad in my life—a confluence of endings, new beginnings, and a pressing desire for healing. I'm Kelly, and as I sit in my prayer closet in Temecula, the walls filled with years of whispered hopes and prayers, I am compelled to embark on a journey unlike any I have undertaken before. This journey isn’t solely about traveling physically; it’s about traversing the landscapes of my past, clearing the clutter, and liberating my soul through the power of stories—both written and lived.

The Purpose Behind Videoing

For years, writing served as my outlet, but now I feel drawn to capture my journey through video. Perhaps seeing the transformation unfold will resonate differently. This project is more than just documenting my healing process; it’s about manifesting intentions and allowing others to witness my path of self-discovery and renewal.

A Journey Revealed: The Healing Process

As I approach my 59th birthday, changes ripple through every facet of my life. A month ago, I moved my parents to assisted living, setting a pivotal shift in motion. Old traumas have resurfaced, and I recognize the call to embark on a healing journey. The decision to sell my possessions and embrace a life on the road, living in a travel trailer, isn't taken lightly. It symbolizes liberation from the tangibles that bind and an invitation to lead a life guided by what truly inspires—my writing.

Writing: A Lifelong Companion

Writing has always been at the core of my existence. From my teen years spent filling spiral notebooks with poems and stories to publishing books like "Heart Lessons," my journey is storied. Throughout the trials of heart failure and beyond, writing has been a therapeutic ally. Now, standing on the precipice of my sixth book, I acknowledge that amidst crafting self-help guides, my heart yearns for fiction—stories that convey healing and positivity.

Reimagining My Journals

For years, my journals stacked in my closet were intended for my daughters. But as life teaches, not all stories need telling. Instead, I aim to sift through these narratives, cherishing growth moments and insights, while casting off the remnants that no longer serve. In this reimagining, I find a sense of renewal—akin to setting past energies alight, allowing them to transform.

The Journey Begins

With a heart full of optimism and uncertainty, I take my first steps toward documenting this journey. What began in my closet will now unravel through new stories, locations, and lessons. As I travel, I seek to capture these experiences on video—not just for myself, but as a testament to evolving narratives and the paths we carve when we dare to dream.

Conclusion: A Call to Embrace Change

I invite you to follow this journey, one that merges my passion for writing with a spiritual and physical quest for healing. Whether I achieve fame and fortune remains to be seen. What holds significance is the authenticity of every written word, every recorded moment, and the stories that unfurl along the way. Here's to embracing change and welcoming the unknown with open arms.

Stay Tuned

As I prepare to turn 59, join me in Mesa, Arizona for the first chapter of the Journey of the Journals project, alongside my dear friend Lanae. The road is open, and the future, unwritten.

Watch the entire video here: